1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,332
-Hi. My name's Mike. I'm an overeater.
CLASS: Hi, Mike.

2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,203
I had a pretty good week.
Uh, I lost two more pounds.

3
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,401
[CLASS APPLAUDlNG]

4
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:14,172
And that was before I cut my hair,
flossed my teeth...

5
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,907
...and pulled a dust bunny
from my belly button. Ha, ha.

6
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:18,573
Let's just call it an even three.

7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:22,453
The point is, the winter weight
is slowly starting to melt away.

8
00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:25,921
That doesn't mean I'm out of the woods.
I'm looking at what could be...

9
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:29,255
...the biggest food challenge of the year
for any Chicago sports fan.

10
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,897
I'm talking about opening day
at Wrigley Field.

11
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:35,694
Right? Cold beer, chili dogs,
salted peanuts...

12
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,532
...those cups of chocolate ice cream
you eat with the tiny wooden spoon.

13
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,266
You're still sucking the flavor
out of the wood grain...

14
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,103
...while you're ordering the next one.

15
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,744
[LAUGHlNG]

16
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,138
But this year, I'm sticking to my diet.

17
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,249
I'm pitching a no-eater.

18
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,648
When I stand up
for the seventh-inning stretch...

19
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,618
...there'll be no crumbs, peanut shells
or candy wrappers...

20
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,452
...falling from my vintage
Ryne Sandberg Cubs jersey.

21
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,094
It's about discipline.
I'm gonna keep my eyes on the ball...

22
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:03,388
...away from the vendors...

23
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,760
...and pray to God
we don't go into extra innings.

24
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,295
I'm gonna do it this year.

25
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:12,233
But more importantly,
the Cubbies are gonna do it this year.

26
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,966
I'm planning on dieting through the
playoffs all the way to the World Series.

27
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:17,166
Now, who's with me?

28
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:19,106
[CHANTlNG]
Cubs, Cubs, Cubs.

29
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,076
Cubs, Cubs, Cubs.

30
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,459
I'm looking forward to this game.

31
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:45,695
I got a new pair
of BluBlocker sunglasses.

32
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,999
I ain't losing any more foul balls
to the sun.

33
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:52,634
You didn't lose that ball in the sun.
You lost that ball to a 6-year-old girl.

34
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,014
She bit me.

35
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,382
Ah, baseball season again.

36
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,213
We had something similar
in my country.

37
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,945
-No kidding?
-Yes.

38
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,489
One man stands in a field
holding a large stick.

39
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,285
Another man throws a stone at him.

40
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,020
Then the man with the stick
chases the man who threw the stone.

41
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,687
-Huh. You call that baseball?
-No, it's called:

44
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:22,063
...except instead of hot dogs and beer
we had drought and starvation.

45
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:24,336
Go Cubbies.

46
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,338
Carl, what would you think about me
asking Molly to go to the game with us?

47
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,985
Sure. Why don't I ask my grandma
to go too?

48
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:37,055
Let's just skip the game, and we can all
make a quilt and do each other's hair.

49
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:40,218
A simple "l don't care for the idea"
would suffice.

50
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:44,022
Opening day is our tradition. And
besides, we only got the two tickets.

51
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,062
I could trade those
for three in the bleachers.

52
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:49,030
What? I stood in line all night
for those field-level tickets.

53
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:51,397
I had to pee in my thermos.

54
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,840
Molly's my girlfriend.
I should include her in everything I do.

55
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,942
Shared experiences
and memorable moments...

56
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,203
...are what bring a couple
closer together.

57
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,907
You're reading her magazines now,
aren't you?

58
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,785
I can't help it.
She leaves them in the crapper.

59
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:10,218
The sports section
only gets me halfway home.

60
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,855
There's nothing wrong with you guys
doing things apart from each other.

61
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:18,123
But isn't that one of the top 10 warning
signs that your man is cheating?

62
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:23,933
Dude, seriously, you gotta read
a little less and push a little harder.

63
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,279
Oh, that's where my Cosmo went.

64
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:41,481
Yeah, I wanted to finish this article
on finding the female G-spot.

65
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:44,555
Gotta be honest,
looks like a two-man job.

66
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,423
Yeah, or a one-woman job.

67
00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:54,592
I only have to work a half-day tomorrow.
I was thinking we could go grab lunch.

68
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,095
I can't.
I'm going to the Cubs game with Carl.

69
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,761
You guys are going to opening day?
Aw, that's great.

70
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,100
I wasn't trying to exclude you
from anything.

71
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,470
This is an annual ritual
that I have with Carl.

72
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,908
-I get it, it's a guy thing.
-Exactly.

73
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,311
It's like growing a beard
or peeing standing up.

74
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:13,316
Might not be fair,
but I didn't make the rules.

75
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:18,921
Actually, I'm okay with being excluded
from both of those things. Ha, ha.

76
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,118
Besides, it's baseball.
You'd probably be bored to tears.

77
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:25,992
No, I love baseball. I used to go
to the games all the time with my dad.

78
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:30,261
We'd take the L to the ballpark.
I'd sit on his lap and keep the scorecard.

79
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,428
Some of my best memories of him
are at those baseball games.

80
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,096
-Really?
-Yeah.

81
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:39,006
It was our special time together.
Just me and my pop.

82
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:41,806
You know, I haven't gone
to a single game since he died.

83
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,676
-You're kidding?
-No.

84
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:48,483
So I completely understand how much
this tradition means to you guys.

85
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,949
Good night, sweetie. Sleep tight.

86
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,736
Now, Michael, be sure and make a big
fuss over Carlton's new baseball mitt.

87
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,462
He's been breaking that thing in
all month.

88
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,631
I promise to "ooh" and "ahh."

89
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:13,370
I'm just happy to see the boy oiling
something other than himself.

90
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,312
What are you doing here so early?

91
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,542
Batting practice doesn't start
for 45 minutes.

92
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,711
I'm excited. Cheering on
my favorite team with my best buddy.

93
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,516
We gotta make one stop on the way.

94
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,522
-What stop?
-No big deal. Is that a new mitt?

95
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:29,253
Ooh, ahh.

96
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,060
You invited Molly, didn't you?

97
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:34,324
Oh, man.

98
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,198
I knew you'd fold.

99
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,894
I had to. She used to go to the games
with her dead dad.

100
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,267
They'd take the train,
sit in each others' la--

101
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,533
I don't know, you gotta hear her tell it.

102
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,769
Because of that,
I gotta sit in the bleachers?

103
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,606
I didn't kill the man.
Why do I have to be punished?

104
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,908
I'll sit in the bleachers,
you sit down front.

105
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,053
Oh, you get to enjoy the game
while I entertain your girlfriend.

106
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:57,087
-You sit in the bleachers.
-Which is exactly what you wanted.

107
00:05:57,256 --> 00:06:00,748
Boy, quit going on and on.
You're talking about a baseball game.

108
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,418
Acting like Michael stood you up
for the junior prom.

109
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,121
Well, he asked me to go first.

110
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,031
Is it any wonder...

111
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,763
...that everybody at my church
has you in their special prayers?

112
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:19,272
Listen, we'll take turns in the bleachers.
I promise I won't let her ruin our day.

113
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,208
Fine, she can come.

114
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,941
But I am not the third wheel,
she is the third wheel.

115
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,950
I get it. We're the motorcycle,
and she's the sidecar.

116
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,453
No, we're the Winnebago and she's
the Ski-Doo we're dragging behind us.

117
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,057
Hey, this Winnebago
lost three pounds last week.

118
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:37,788
-I already told you how good you look.
-It's just nice to hear once in a while.

119
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,225
Good Lord, the two of them
might as well move to Las Vegas...

120
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,133
...get a couple of white tigers
and start a magic show.

121
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:54,471
-Lookie what I found.
-Oh, my God, Dad's old Cubbie cap.

122
00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,346
Aw.

123
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,645
-lt smells just like him.
-Vitalis and Old Spice.

124
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:00,843
[CHUCKLES]

125
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,653
Dad sure loved the Old Spice,
didn't he, Mom?

126
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:07,156
That's all you girls ever gave him
for Christmas...

127
00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:08,850
...his birthday and Father's Day.

128
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:12,792
He used to have to slap it on pretty
heavy just to keep it from piling up.

129
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:17,124
Yeah, I have a weird memory of him
using that stuff to start the grill.

130
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,672
Starting the grill,
getting paint off his hands, killing ants.

131
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,170
VlCTORlA:
Oh, my God.

132
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,142
If you were a little bustier,
you'd look just like Dad.

133
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,682
Boy, he loved taking you to the games.

134
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,483
You were his little tomboy.

135
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,959
As soon as we'd get to the ballpark...

136
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,528
...he'd always order his one beer
and give me a little sip of the suds.

137
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,861
Well, he'd usually slam down four or five
before you even left the house.

138
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,830
That's the reason
you had to take the train.

139
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,740
It's gonna be weird. You know,
I've never been to a game without him.

140
00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:01,573
Don't worry,
he'll be there with you in spirit.

141
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:06,081
I know he's sitting up there right now
looking down on all of us.

142
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:11,315
Like when he used to take the lawn chair
up on the roof with a cooler of beer?

143
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,722
Yeah.

144
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,051
Except without
the neighbors complaining...

145
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,824
...because he's throwing rocks at cars
or peeing in the drainpipe.

146
00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:24,999
I'm happy to sit in back
if you wanna be up front.

147
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,900
No, I'm fine. Ha, ha.

148
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,507
Didn't camp out overnight
for those two seats.

149
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,906
-Hmm? What?
-Nothing, he's just being funny.

150
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,341
[CHUCKLES]

151
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,841
I really appreciate
you guys inviting me along.

152
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,450
Don't think you have to give me
any special treatment.

153
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,210
Consider me one of the fellas.

154
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:45,050
Shouldn't be a problem. I'm able
to consider Carl one of the fellas. Ha, ha.

155
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,691
See, that's what we do for fun.

156
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:50,295
We bust each others' stones,
give each other little zings. Ha-cha!

157
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,359
Well, hey, you can do that with me too.

158
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,435
Feel free to give me little zings
and bust my stones. Yeah.

159
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:02,434
-Girls don't have stones.
-Not her fault, Carl.

160
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,701
Okay, look, I realize I'm a guest here...

161
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,607
...so I should be the one
to take the seat in the bleachers.

162
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:08,804
I agree.

163
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,779
No, I think we should work out
some sort of seating schedule.

164
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,714
I disagree.

165
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,287
We'll rotate every couple innings.
That way nobody feels left out.

166
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:20,948
-Sounds too complicated.
-Oh, it's actually pretty easy.

167
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,255
Just in case, I worked out
a little round-robin rotation...

168
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,898
...where we alternate
every three innings.

169
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:30,661
And if we go extra innings,
we can just pull a name out of a hat.

170
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,463
Does anybody have a hat?

171
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:33,969
[LAUGHlNG]

172
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,574
This is gonna be fun, huh?

173
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,604
[CHUCKLES]

174
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:47,142
CROWD [SlNGlNG]:
--the land of the free

175
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:53,986
And the home of the brave?

176
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,284
[CROWD CHEERlNG]

177
00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:57,554
All right, all right, all right.

178
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,288
Play ball!

179
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,798
You sure you don't mind me eating this
in front of you?

180
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,132
Don't worry about me.
I got a tub of carrot sticks:

181
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,275
America's favorite ballpark snack.

182
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:12,967
I'm only having it for my dad.

183
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:16,012
I get it.
It's a ritual you shared with your father.

184
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,810
Exactly. It's a little tribute to my pop.

185
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,886
-Well, you enjoy it.
-Yeah.

186
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,389
-Oh, my God.
-ls it good?

187
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,191
No.

188
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,491
Not at all. Very disappointing, in fact.

189
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:39,434
I mean, I'm gonna finish it
because I don't like to be wasteful...

190
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:43,200
...but this is not a good dog. Not at all.

191
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,505
Thanks for sparing my feelings.
Just enjoy your hot dog.

192
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,445
Aw, thank you.

193
00:10:57,723 --> 00:11:01,215
Man, look at the two of them down there
in my seats.

194
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,558
I almost caught pneumonia
getting those tickets...

195
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:07,563
...and here I am stuck in the bleachers.

196
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:11,391
As a true Cub fan, I believe the bleachers
provide the best vantage point...

197
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,061
...to fully appreciate
and experience the game.

198
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:18,643
Uh-huh. Plus, you can reach up
and grab a bird or touch an airplane.

199
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,369
You're exaggerating for effect...

200
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:23,071
...but I did see a pigeon
fly into a guy's eye one time.

201
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,149
It was against St. Louis, 1995.

202
00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,649
I was sitting
exactly where I'm sitting right now.

203
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:31,089
I'm also wearing the same pants.

204
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,588
[BATTER HlTS]

205
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:35,816
MAN: Yeah!
-Come on!

206
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,527
If the bleacher seats are so good...

207
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,067
...why are you staring at that little TV
instead of looking at the field?

208
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:48,696
I enjoy the color commentary and the
humorous anecdotes about the players.

209
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,867
Are you gonna be this confrontational
throughout the entire game?

210
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,104
Sorry. A little on edge. I've been coming
to opening day for five years...

211
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:59,251
...with my best friend. This year,
he decided to bring his girlfriend.

212
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:00,510
Ouch.

213
00:12:00,686 --> 00:12:03,780
But way cool to have a buddy
with a girlfriend, right?

214
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:07,186
Up high. Down low. Too slow. Ha, ha.

215
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,966
When my dad and I would go to
the games, it was my job to keep score.

216
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,467
I always thought he did it
to help me learn math...

217
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:21,936
...but I think now it was because
he was too hammered to hold a pen.

218
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:24,440
Wave, wave, wave.

219
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:28,546
Come on, people, represent.

220
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:34,084
Wow, I had no idea
you were such a baseball fan.

221
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,312
If you didn't fall asleep
after we had sex...

222
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,888
...you might learn
a thing or two about me.

223
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,455
Ha-cha!

224
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,989
I'm busting your stones.
You should've worn a cup.

225
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,996
Maybe I could borrow yours. Ha-cha!

226
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,827
Hey.

227
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,463
Thanks for bringing me today, Mike.

228
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:55,163
I forgot how much I loved
coming to these games.

229
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,332
I'm glad you're here.

230
00:12:57,743 --> 00:13:03,682
Minute I cleared the turnstile, I was just
flooded with so many memories.

231
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:08,751
Some of the best times my dad and l
ever had were right here in this ballpark.

232
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:09,945
[SOBBlNG]

233
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,817
All right, sweetie, it's okay.

234
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:17,190
Yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm fine. This is good.
My dad was the best, you know.

235
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,127
If I'd have known
I had such little time with him....

236
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,859
Come on, Mol, hold it together.

237
00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,433
[CRYlNG]

238
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:32,208
She's a little upset.
She thought it was bobblehead day.

239
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,819
Looks like Molly's honoring her dad
with a frosty malt.

240
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,888
Mm.

241
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,392
Nothing like a ballpark hot dog, huh?

242
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:56,227
Mm. It's like heaven
wrapped in a pig intestine.

243
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:02,499
Normally I would share, but your
loud-mouthed friend ate half my nachos.

244
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,735
And contrary to popular opinion,
I'm not the food fairy.

245
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:13,477
No, I'm set. I got my carrot sticks,
fresh off the grill of Mother Earth.

246
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:17,611
If you already have a girlfriend,
why are you still on a diet?

247
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,091
Getting a girlfriend
doesn't eliminate your problems.

248
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,990
You still gotta watch what you eat.
The key is discipline.

249
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:29,430
I am all about discipline.
That's why I got into karate.

250
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,897
It provides me both mental
and physical balance.

251
00:14:33,072 --> 00:14:37,008
Uh-huh. Plus, an excuse to walk around
in drawstring pajamas.

252
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:40,577
Believe me, a black belt isn't that
impressive when it's 52 inches long.

253
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,680
Ah. Well played, sensei.

254
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,281
Pass it down.

255
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,119
You gonna pass it or what?

256
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:57,228
Is it against the law
for a man to smell a hot dog?

257
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,365
I just always thought my dad
would be there, you know?

258
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:10,804
Watch me graduate from high school,
or give me away at my wedding.

259
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:14,309
But you're lucky. At least you got
some good memories of your dad.

260
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,711
My old man had to work two jobs
to make ends meet and I never saw him.

261
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,243
Ever?

262
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,386
If I didn't see his shoes, he was at work.

263
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:24,488
If I did see his shoes,
I had to be quiet because he was asleep.

264
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,251
That's terrible.

265
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:31,588
Do you know I never got to see
one baseball game with him?

266
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:36,794
Share some peanuts, catch a foul ball.

267
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,600
It's probably why I make such a big deal
out of opening day.

268
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,071
I get it. You're--

269
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,302
You and Mike are doing something
you never got to do with your dad.

270
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,709
And I intruded on that, didn't l?

271
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:52,745
Yeah, a little bit.

272
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,250
I'm so sorry, Carl.

273
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:02,355
It's all right. We didn't know any better.

274
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:13,333
Oh, my God, what an amazing day.
It's just-- It's been cathartic, you know?

275
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,705
You should come on floppy-hat
or foam-finger day.

276
00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,844
The vibe is palpable.

277
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,180
May I interest the lovely lady
in a nice draft beer?

278
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:26,476
Oh. No, thank you, I'm fine.

279
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,778
And taken, by the way.

280
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:33,982
Oh, thank goodness. Getting
a little tired of holding my stomach in.

281
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,794
My boyfriend was the one
sitting up here earlier.

282
00:16:42,968 --> 00:16:44,868
The portly gent with the carrot sticks...

283
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:48,871
...or the African-American
who scarfed my nachos?

284
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,168
The cute one with the carrots.

285
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,903
He did mention something
about having a girlfriend.

286
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:58,379
But these bleachers are full of guys
claiming to have girlfriends...

287
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:01,383
...and their own cars.

288
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:08,086
Well, he actually has both.

289
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:11,796
I certainly can't compete with that.

290
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,497
Is it true
he lost three pounds last week?

291
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:15,860
Yeah, it is.

292
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,596
Man, it comes so easy to the winners.

293
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:27,109
Carl, I'm sure your dad loved you,
but he had to provide for your family.

294
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:30,440
But I missed so many moments with him
because he wasn't there.

295
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,346
Hey, my dad was there
and we never talked to each other.

296
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:37,216
We must've gone to 50 games together
and didn't say two words to one another.

297
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,118
-That's horrible.
-Yeah.

298
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:44,455
Every time I did try to talk to him, he'd
buy me a hot dog just to shut me up.

299
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:48,060
-Once, I asked him if he loved my mom.
-Mm-hm.

300
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,428
He bought me two chili dogs,
a piece of pizza...

301
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,934
...and a bucket of chicken
on the ride home.

302
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:56,406
That's why you eat like you do.
You're stuffing your emotions down...

303
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,475
...because your daddy
wouldn't talk to you.

304
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,612
You're right.

305
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,948
But not anymore. The cycle ends here.

306
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,074
I'm proud of you, man.

307
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,981
You know what? I'm calling my dad
in Scottsdale right now...

308
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,145
...and I'm telling him that I forgive him.

309
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:17,222
Look at me, Carl. It's the ninth inning
and I have not had one hot dog.

310
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:21,355
MAN: You want everything on it?
-Walk away, walk away, walk away!

311
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,900
Dad, it's Carlton.

312
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,297
[BATTER HlTS]

313
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:26,495
[CROWD CHEERlNG]

314
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,469
Hey!

315
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,575
Foul ball. Hey. Ha, ha.

316
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,405
That did not just happen.

317
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,107
Hey, Dad, guess what.
I just caught a foul ball.

318
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,512
Yeah.

319
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:49,955
Bad news is the Cubs lost.
Good news is Mike Biggs won.

320
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,098
I got through opening day
without gaining a pound.

321
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:56,496
Now, if I can just get past Easter,
Memorial Day and Fourth of July...

322
00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,399
...I should be fine until
the Halloween candy hits the shelves.

323
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,064
But one day at a time. Thank you.

324
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:04,573
[CLASS APPLAUDlNG]

325
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:10,305
-Nice speech. Humorous, yet heartfelt.
-Glad you made it.

326
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,746
You've inspired me
to take control of my life.

327
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,943
Well, if I can do it, you can do it too.

328
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:18,112
I'm cautiously optimistic.

329
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:20,855
MAN:
I actually had a really good week.

330
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:25,986
So is this it for the chicks or do more
show up when the cookies are laid out?

331
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,919
[English - US - SDH]