1 00:00:03,035 --> 00:00:04,436 Here you go, mom. 2 00:00:04,470 --> 00:00:05,904 Thank you, sweetheart. 3 00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:08,273 Hey, mom, can I play video games until Marilyn gets here? 4 00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:09,674 - Sure. - Yes. 5 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:13,244 So this book club thing is a big deal, huh? 6 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:14,512 Well, a little. 7 00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,348 It's just the first time we're having it here, 8 00:00:16,382 --> 00:00:18,116 and I want to make sure it goes well, 9 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:19,651 so let me be clear. 10 00:00:19,685 --> 00:00:21,820 When the guys come for your fight party, 11 00:00:21,854 --> 00:00:23,288 they will use the back door. 12 00:00:23,322 --> 00:00:24,956 The back door? 13 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:26,624 What is this, Mississippi? 14 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:29,160 I don't want you walking through my book club 15 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,261 like it's a strip mall, 16 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,330 not to mention Vicki Howard will be here. 17 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,765 The author? 18 00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:36,901 - Yes, though, she's not really who I'm worried about. 19 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,304 You remember Mara, miss "it's to die for"? 20 00:00:39,338 --> 00:00:41,706 She found out Vicki was gonna be here. 21 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,341 She called and invited herself. 22 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,442 Well, how'd she find out? 23 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,144 Follows Vicki on Twitter. 24 00:00:46,178 --> 00:00:47,879 - And to your house. - Mm-hmm. 25 00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:50,048 Hey, mom, Marilyn's still not here yet? 26 00:00:50,082 --> 00:00:51,082 No, honey. 27 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,052 But she said she would be here at 1:00. 28 00:00:54,086 --> 00:00:55,720 She's says a lot of things. 29 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:58,990 She also drinks heavily at times. 30 00:00:59,024 --> 00:01:02,127 I'll call you when she gets here. 31 00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:04,028 You know what? I'm gonna see where she is. 32 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:06,664 Okay. 33 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:07,699 Hey, ma. 34 00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:08,900 Where are you? 35 00:01:08,934 --> 00:01:11,436 I'm here. Hang up. 36 00:01:11,470 --> 00:01:13,138 Hey, baby. That's good. 37 00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:14,105 Both: Muah! 38 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,840 - Suzanne. - Marilyn, you know... 39 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,008 I know. 40 00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:18,676 I know I said I would try to be here by 1:00, 41 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:19,677 and I tried. 42 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:21,146 I failed. Moving on. 43 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,680 You know, the kids are really excited 44 00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:24,549 about spending the night at your house tonight. 45 00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,451 Well, since it doesn't seem like you and Nick 46 00:01:26,485 --> 00:01:28,353 are gonna break up anytime soon, 47 00:01:28,387 --> 00:01:30,655 I guess I'm just gonna have to try to embrace your kids. 48 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:31,689 Both: Marilyn. 49 00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:33,258 Eh. 50 00:01:33,292 --> 00:01:35,960 I didn't say anything about having them embrace me. 51 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,195 Now, you know better. 52 00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:38,196 You ready? 53 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:40,398 Both: Yeah. - Oh, good. 54 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,433 Yes. 55 00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:42,634 Yes? 56 00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:45,670 Yes, I will have that Martini. 57 00:01:45,704 --> 00:01:47,038 You so thoughtful. 58 00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:49,274 Okay, so where are the chips and salsa? 59 00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:51,643 I thought Mike said he was gonna bring them. 60 00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:53,144 The fight hasn't started yet, has it? 61 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,946 No, you good. You good. 62 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,048 Man, I've been waiting months for this, 63 00:01:57,082 --> 00:01:58,817 Alvarez versus Totino 64 00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:01,519 for the super welterweight championship, 65 00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,054 both 16 and 0. 66 00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:04,422 Yeah. 67 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,392 All I know is, after this, Totino's gonna be 16 and 1. 68 00:02:07,426 --> 00:02:08,760 [Laughter] 69 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:10,695 Yo, Mike, didn't you bring the chips and salsa? 70 00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:12,230 You said you were bringing them. 71 00:02:12,264 --> 00:02:13,498 No, I didn't. 72 00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:14,499 Yes, you did. 73 00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:16,468 You said fair mart had the best deals, 74 00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,002 so I thought you were picking them up. 75 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,137 See, you whilin'. 76 00:02:19,171 --> 00:02:21,039 There's a difference between you thought that 77 00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:22,040 and I said that. 78 00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:23,408 What's the problem, yo? 79 00:02:23,442 --> 00:02:25,543 Argh, this cable box is acting up again. 80 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,011 Are you kidding me? 81 00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,913 I could have stayed home and not seen the fight. 82 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,215 I'll call the cable company. 83 00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:31,382 What for? 84 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,284 So we can watch the fight sometime next Tuesday 85 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,219 between 10:00 and 4:00? 86 00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:35,587 Well, what am I supposed to do? 87 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,522 Don't ask us. It's your party. 88 00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:39,624 Come on, man. Do something about this. 89 00:02:39,658 --> 00:02:41,159 Shut up, all right? Just shut... 90 00:02:41,193 --> 00:02:42,594 Don't you fix these for a living? 91 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:44,829 It's not my thing. It's the cable, man. 92 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:46,331 Punch it or something, Billy bBanks. 93 00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:48,199 Shut up. Let me think. 94 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,002 ♪Are we there yet?♪ 95 00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:54,372 ♪Tell me, tell me, tell me♪ 96 00:02:54,406 --> 00:02:55,673 ♪Tell me, are we there yet?♪ 97 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:58,042 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com 98 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:03,848 Mmm. 99 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:06,384 Suzanne, these stuffed mushrooms are so good, 100 00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:08,586 but have you tried the ones at Alfonzo's market? 101 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:10,688 They are to die for. 102 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,458 I'll bet they are, Mara. 103 00:03:13,492 --> 00:03:17,095 Anyway, thank you all for coming. 104 00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:21,032 Now, if you'll help me welcome our distinguished guest, 105 00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:24,202 author of the best-selling self-help guide, 106 00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:28,072 your principles are petty, miss Vicki Howard. 107 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,774 Thank you. 108 00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:31,209 Thank you for that. 109 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:34,646 So I just want to let you know that we are here to get real, 110 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,081 and I don't play. 111 00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,516 You all know a little bit about me, 112 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:41,219 and I'm about to tell you about yourselves. 113 00:03:41,253 --> 00:03:44,522 So when I leave, either you'll be clapping or crying, 114 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,492 so I'm happy we got the clapping out of the way. 115 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:48,426 It's not fourth grade. 116 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,761 You don't have to raise your hand. 117 00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:53,064 I just want to say I love your work. 118 00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:55,767 Everybody does, sweetie. 119 00:03:55,801 --> 00:04:00,071 Okay, so we are all familiar with the concept of the book, 120 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:03,841 that what is important to you, you consider a principle, 121 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,877 but what's important to someone else, 122 00:04:05,911 --> 00:04:06,945 you consider petty. 123 00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:08,580 You all read my book, didn't you? 124 00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:09,714 [Together] Mm-hmm. 125 00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:12,517 I'll take if from here. 126 00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,687 Vicki, don't you think when you're dating 127 00:04:15,721 --> 00:04:18,456 it's good to stick to some principles? 128 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,924 I'm sorry, what's your name? 129 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,259 Gigi. 130 00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:24,429 Ahh, Gigi, what do you have a list of about 10 to 12 things 131 00:04:24,463 --> 00:04:26,831 a man must do before you do this, that, 132 00:04:26,865 --> 00:04:28,266 or the next for him, right? 133 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,702 Actually, it's 26. 134 00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:33,137 It used to be 27. 135 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,106 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 136 00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:36,240 You know what, Gigi? 137 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:37,809 We're gonna name a perfume after you. 138 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:38,776 Ooh. 139 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:39,877 Psst-psst... 140 00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:41,045 [Sniffs] 141 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,382 Petty, by Gigi. 142 00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,784 And you, yeah, miss fourth grader, 143 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,120 I heard what you said about the mushrooms earlier. 144 00:04:49,154 --> 00:04:51,689 You just don't walk up in somebody else's house 145 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,391 talking about, "you could get better food 146 00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:54,959 from someplace else." 147 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:55,960 Now, that's just petty. 148 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:59,564 And you, you could just kick her out. 149 00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:03,134 Now, that's the principle. 150 00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:06,104 - Wow. - Thank you. 151 00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,672 Thank you very much. 152 00:05:07,706 --> 00:05:10,842 There's more. 153 00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:17,515 All righty, put your clothes in here. 154 00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,350 Mm-hmm, you too. 155 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,818 Here you go. 156 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:22,887 All right, hold out your hands. 157 00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:24,222 We just washed our hands. 158 00:05:24,256 --> 00:05:25,390 Uh, that was for dirt. 159 00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:27,692 This is for germs. 160 00:05:27,726 --> 00:05:29,160 Okay, come on. 161 00:05:29,194 --> 00:05:31,562 Sit down. Make yourself comfortable. 162 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:33,197 Gee. 163 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,369 So what now? 164 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,872 Well, first we go over the rules. 165 00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:42,340 So don't touching nothin'. 166 00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:43,474 Don't move nothin'. 167 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,676 Don't use my phone. 168 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:45,810 Use your inside voice. 169 00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:47,345 And if you need to go to the bathroom, 170 00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:48,413 there's a checklist. 171 00:05:48,447 --> 00:05:50,048 Make sure you do everything on that list 172 00:05:50,082 --> 00:05:51,115 before you come out. 173 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,283 Both: Got it. 174 00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:53,384 All right, then. 175 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,420 So you ready to have some fun? 176 00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:58,423 [Laughter] 177 00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:01,559 [Both sighing] 178 00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:05,897 Look, guys, I'm sorry, okay? 179 00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:07,331 But do you want to watch the fight, 180 00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,067 or do you want to cry about it? 181 00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:10,735 It took us five minutes to get here. 182 00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,737 I bet the under-card hasn't even started. 183 00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:15,173 What's on the under-card of a super welterweight fight? 184 00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:18,643 I think Kate Hudson is fighting Keira Knightley. 185 00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:19,677 Wait, hold up. 186 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,713 Why don't they have the fight on? 187 00:06:21,747 --> 00:06:23,314 Hi, guys. - The fight. 188 00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,283 I'm gonna be serving you tonight. 189 00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:26,851 What can I start you off with? 190 00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:28,519 You can start us off with the fight. 191 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,655 I'm sorry, but we don't have it. 192 00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:32,623 You're joking, right? 193 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,292 Oh, I wish I were. 194 00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:36,794 No, they charge us $25 a head to show the fight, 195 00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,497 and this bar seats about 300 people. 196 00:06:39,531 --> 00:06:43,167 Now, if you wanted to order $7,500 worth of drinks, 197 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,202 then I could put it on for you. 198 00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:45,269 Forget it. Let's go. 199 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:46,671 Let's go where, 200 00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:48,539 somewhere else they're not showing the fight? 201 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,574 Ha-ha, you got jokes. 202 00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:50,975 You guys want to crack jokes, 203 00:06:51,009 --> 00:06:52,243 or do you want to watch the fight? 204 00:06:52,277 --> 00:06:53,745 Seriously, man, where are we going? 205 00:06:53,779 --> 00:06:55,413 - Where are we going? - Uh... 206 00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:59,751 What do you mean, "uh"? 207 00:06:59,785 --> 00:07:02,720 But if you take the time to cook a meal 208 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,823 and then expect him to wash the dishes out of principle, 209 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,024 it's being petty. 210 00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,695 But what if he leaves the dishes there overnight. 211 00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:14,332 So what does it matter to you when he washes them? 212 00:07:14,366 --> 00:07:17,201 It's petty. 213 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:21,939 [Applause] 214 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,775 - Ooh. - Hey, everybody. 215 00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:24,942 Hi. 216 00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:32,016 No, Nick, no. 217 00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:33,984 You knew I was hosting a book club. 218 00:07:34,019 --> 00:07:35,552 Now, I don't know where you're gonna go, 219 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:36,954 but you're gonna get out of here. 220 00:07:36,988 --> 00:07:38,922 We're gonna be two rooms away. 221 00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:41,992 Look, you won't even know we're here, all right? 222 00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:45,829 Baby, baby, baby, this is Alvarez versus Totino 223 00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,965 for the super welterweight championship 224 00:07:47,999 --> 00:07:49,299 of the world, all right? 225 00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:50,734 They're 16 and 0. 226 00:07:50,769 --> 00:07:53,671 Suzanne, I'm not normally in a position to beg you, 227 00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:56,707 but on behalf of Nick and the boys, can I just say, 228 00:07:56,741 --> 00:08:00,244 please, baby, baby, please, baby, baby, please. 229 00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:04,448 - Okay. - Yeah. 230 00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:07,418 But if you mess up my book club 231 00:08:07,452 --> 00:08:09,687 or embarrass me in front of Vicki, 232 00:08:09,721 --> 00:08:11,155 your friends are gonna be watching 233 00:08:11,189 --> 00:08:12,156 a whole different fight. 234 00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:13,157 I got you. 235 00:08:13,191 --> 00:08:15,826 You better not. 236 00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,828 Is this whose in there right now? 237 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:18,996 Yeah, why? 238 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:21,265 Oh, I have a bone to pick with her. 239 00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:22,466 Hey, hey, Martin. 240 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,734 What? 241 00:08:23,768 --> 00:08:24,802 Hey. 242 00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:26,370 Come on, guys, this fight's starting. 243 00:08:26,404 --> 00:08:28,138 - No, it... it's starting? - This fight is starting, man. 244 00:08:28,173 --> 00:08:29,339 Um... 245 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:32,509 Uh... 246 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:38,782 Yes, I won. 247 00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,050 Hey, here's your money, honey. 248 00:08:40,085 --> 00:08:41,885 - Thank you. - Now, wasn't that fun? 249 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,087 Who can sit still the longest? 250 00:08:43,121 --> 00:08:44,488 Yeah, I love that game. 251 00:08:44,522 --> 00:08:45,622 Oh, I love it too, girl. 252 00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:47,057 You just like me. 253 00:08:47,092 --> 00:08:48,492 Marilyn, I'm starving. 254 00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:50,027 Can we have something to eat? 255 00:08:50,061 --> 00:08:51,161 Yeah, me too. 256 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,263 Well, I guess I do have to feed you. 257 00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:54,898 Come on. Maybe we should order something. 258 00:08:54,933 --> 00:08:56,133 Let's go see what's in the kitchen 259 00:08:56,167 --> 00:09:00,571 that we can order. 260 00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:04,775 All righty, we have Bolivian, 261 00:09:04,809 --> 00:09:06,810 Ethiopian, Brazilian... 262 00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,479 Can't we just order a pizza? 263 00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:09,813 Pizza? Pizza's fine with me. 264 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,884 Let me just get the phone book. 265 00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,819 That's your phone book? 266 00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:17,121 Yeah, why? 267 00:09:17,155 --> 00:09:19,056 Oh, mom told me about those. 268 00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,958 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just like the Internet, 269 00:09:20,992 --> 00:09:24,128 except it's in book form. 270 00:09:26,631 --> 00:09:29,767 You single-handedly ruined the best month of my life. 271 00:09:29,801 --> 00:09:31,602 Martin, please. We need to go. 272 00:09:31,636 --> 00:09:32,770 Heh-heh-heh. 273 00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:33,771 Vicki, I am sorry. 274 00:09:33,805 --> 00:09:35,305 I'm really sorry. 275 00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:38,542 No, no, no, he's bad enough to walk up in here and call me out. 276 00:09:38,576 --> 00:09:40,043 You want to talk? Let's talk. 277 00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:42,746 [Doorbell rings] 278 00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,081 Hey, hey, hey, what's up? 279 00:09:44,115 --> 00:09:46,250 Oh, I didn't know there was gonna be women here. 280 00:09:46,284 --> 00:09:48,886 Hey, aw, man, I know you. 281 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,089 You're that chick with the book. 282 00:09:52,123 --> 00:09:53,524 [Sighs] 283 00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:54,858 Now back to you. 284 00:09:54,893 --> 00:09:57,427 So tell me, in the words of Morris day, 285 00:09:57,462 --> 00:09:59,096 what is your main problem? 286 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:02,366 Oh, they're too numerous to list. 287 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,401 Roman number one, subheading a. 288 00:10:04,435 --> 00:10:08,605 - Ooooh! - Shh. 289 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,375 Suzanne, where do you keep the bowls? 290 00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:15,445 In the cabinet behind the transparent glass right there. 291 00:10:17,248 --> 00:10:19,883 Nick, either you get Martin out of there, 292 00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:22,019 or I'm gonna get Martin out of there, but if I were you, 293 00:10:22,053 --> 00:10:23,253 I'd get Martin out of there, 294 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:24,521 because if I have to get Martin out of there... 295 00:10:24,556 --> 00:10:25,589 I get it. 296 00:10:25,623 --> 00:10:29,226 I'm gonna get Martin out of there. 297 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:33,430 Now, pass these out and smile. 298 00:10:33,464 --> 00:10:34,765 Ooooh! 299 00:10:34,799 --> 00:10:39,203 Hey, zip it. 300 00:10:39,237 --> 00:10:42,472 Whoo, Totino is in trouble right now. 301 00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:43,640 Are you serious? 302 00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,042 Yes, Alvarez is leading in points 303 00:10:45,076 --> 00:10:46,577 for the last two rounds, baby. 304 00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:48,412 I'm talking about the chips. 305 00:10:48,446 --> 00:10:50,581 You brought those? 306 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,082 Yeah, why? 307 00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:54,585 After you said you weren't gonna pick them up? 308 00:10:54,619 --> 00:10:55,652 What's wrong with you? 309 00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:57,120 What's wrong with you? 310 00:10:57,155 --> 00:10:59,489 First of all, I didn't I wasn't gonna pick them up. 311 00:10:59,524 --> 00:11:00,958 What is it with you? 312 00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:01,925 What is what with me? 313 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,594 Come on, man, I got chips too. 314 00:11:03,628 --> 00:11:05,095 Baby need a bottle? 315 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:06,830 I've been dating this girl for one month. 316 00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,799 Why am I petty for not wanting to buy 317 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,467 a one-month anniversary present? 318 00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:11,935 Because you're cheap. 319 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,871 In his defense, being cheap and being petty 320 00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:15,205 are two different things. 321 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,008 Vicki... Come here, honey. 322 00:11:18,042 --> 00:11:19,810 Would you like one? 323 00:11:19,844 --> 00:11:20,944 Hold on. 324 00:11:20,979 --> 00:11:22,446 The point that I'm trying to make is, 325 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,982 is, if he doesn't want to buy her a gift, 326 00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:26,483 how does that make him petty? 327 00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:28,785 Because everyone knows if a man won't jump through hoops 328 00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,187 for you, then that... 329 00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:32,890 Then maybe you're not worth jumping through hoops for. 330 00:11:32,924 --> 00:11:37,294 And maybe your book is stupid. 331 00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:41,632 Now you're being petty. 332 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:42,599 These are good. 333 00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,067 Thank you. 334 00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,336 Nick, why don't you take Martin in the other room 335 00:11:46,371 --> 00:11:47,971 to watch the fight? 336 00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:49,573 Vicki did not come here for this. 337 00:11:49,607 --> 00:11:52,276 Oh, the fight's on, Alvarez and Totino? 338 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:54,478 Yeah, they're watching it in the back. 339 00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:56,146 Gigi. - I'll be back in a minute. 340 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,714 Don't be petty. 341 00:11:57,749 --> 00:11:58,882 Okay, wait a second here. 342 00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:00,550 Are you for me or against me? 343 00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:01,852 See, now, that's your problem. 344 00:12:01,886 --> 00:12:05,188 You think everything is about you. 345 00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:06,556 These are really good. 346 00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:10,027 Thank you. 347 00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:13,030 Whoo, that was pretty tasty. 348 00:12:13,064 --> 00:12:15,265 Can we take the drop cloths off the couches? 349 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,767 It's kind of uncomfortable. 350 00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,503 Oh, honey, I know, but I would never forgive you 351 00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:21,004 if you hurt my furniture, 352 00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:22,539 and your mother would never forgive me 353 00:12:22,573 --> 00:12:23,674 if I hurt you, so really, 354 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,842 I'm just doing it to protect everybody. 355 00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:27,244 So what do you guys want to do next? 356 00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:28,178 Oh, can we watch a movie. 357 00:12:28,212 --> 00:12:31,248 [Gasps] Now you are talking. 358 00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:32,749 Your grandma... I mean, 359 00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:37,387 Marilyn has one of the best DVD collections in the world. 360 00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:38,622 - Come on, sit down. - Okay. 361 00:12:38,656 --> 00:12:41,525 I can't wait to show you. 362 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,495 I have been collecting for years. 363 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:50,200 Okay, we got Black Belt Jones, Black Caesar, 364 00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:52,502 Black Mama, White Mama, Blacula, Bucktown, 365 00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:53,537 Cleopatra Jones, 366 00:12:53,571 --> 00:12:55,706 Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold, 367 00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:58,408 Coffy, Dolemite, Foxy Brown, Friday Foster, 368 00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:02,446 Hell up in Harlem, Hit Man... 369 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,214 Petey Wheatstraw, The Devil's Son-in-Law, 370 00:13:04,248 --> 00:13:07,317 Scream Blacula Scream, Shaft, Shaft's Big Score, 371 00:13:07,352 --> 00:13:10,354 Shaft in Africa, Sheba Baby, Slaughter, 372 00:13:10,388 --> 00:13:14,224 Slaughter's Big Rip-Off, Super Fly, Super Fly T. N.T.... 373 00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:19,396 That Man Bolt, The Hammer... Ooh, can't forget The Hammer... 374 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,965 The Human Tornado, The Mack, Thomasine & Bushrod, 375 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,934 Three the Hard Way, T. N.T. Jackson, 376 00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:26,803 Trouble Man, Truck Turner, Willie Dynamite, 377 00:13:26,838 --> 00:13:29,239 and Pineapple Express. 378 00:13:29,273 --> 00:13:30,407 [Sighs] 379 00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:32,275 What was the first one again? 380 00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:37,914 - I want my money. - I'm not paying you any money. 381 00:13:37,949 --> 00:13:39,449 Why would I pay you money for chips, when I bought chips? 382 00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:41,418 I already bought the chips. 383 00:13:41,452 --> 00:13:43,587 Heh, are you gonna watch the fight 384 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:45,655 or be the fight? 385 00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:47,157 [Both arguing] 386 00:13:47,191 --> 00:13:49,159 All right, man, that's it. 387 00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:51,461 I know you're upset, but you got to let it go. 388 00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:53,130 Fine, I apologize. 389 00:13:53,164 --> 00:13:54,931 I went a little bit too far, 390 00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:57,801 but that's what happens when women write books. 391 00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:03,106 Nick, you need to settle this. 392 00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:04,775 I brought chips and salsa, 393 00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,110 because this guys said he wasn't going to. 394 00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:09,946 I get here, and he's got chips and salsa. 395 00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:12,015 I say he owes me 12 bucks. 396 00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,350 It's chips and dip. 397 00:14:13,384 --> 00:14:14,551 What is the big deal? 398 00:14:14,585 --> 00:14:16,386 First of all, you didn't bring it earlier, man, 399 00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:17,721 so on the way back from no-hitter, 400 00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:18,955 I stopped and got some, okay? 401 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:20,223 If you would have brought them earlier, 402 00:14:20,258 --> 00:14:21,324 like you were supposed to... 403 00:14:21,359 --> 00:14:23,326 - Supposed to? Says who? - Says me. 404 00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:25,162 Can we just be quiet and watch the fight? 405 00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:26,296 Oh! 406 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:27,464 Oh, what happened? 407 00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:28,698 Oh, oh. 408 00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:30,067 Shh. 409 00:14:30,101 --> 00:14:32,402 Nick... 410 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,971 Upstairs now. 411 00:14:41,813 --> 00:14:44,614 Ohhhh. 412 00:14:48,253 --> 00:14:51,622 Nick, this is exactly what I did not want to happen. 413 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,291 Babe, I apologize. 414 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,792 Look, I can take care of this. 415 00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:56,227 Let me get back to the fight, 416 00:14:56,261 --> 00:14:58,863 and I will make sure those guys stay out of your book club. 417 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,332 And can we get Gigi out of your fight party? 418 00:15:01,366 --> 00:15:02,800 Yeah, no problem. 419 00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,068 Babe, I just want to get through 420 00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:06,070 the rest of this book club, okay? 421 00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:07,605 Can you help me do that, honey? 422 00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:09,373 Yes. 423 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,509 Can I get one of those dessert things after it's done? 424 00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:14,712 Oh, you like those. 425 00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:17,515 Then keep your friends out of my party, 426 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,818 and if there's any left and you beg, 427 00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:22,453 I might let you have a piece. 428 00:15:22,487 --> 00:15:26,190 Done. 429 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:33,998 What in the world? 430 00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:35,866 Well, if you weren't so cheap in the first place, 431 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:37,468 we wouldn't be having this discussion. 432 00:15:37,502 --> 00:15:39,503 You're arguing over $11, and I'm cheap? 433 00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:40,838 $12, and yeah. 434 00:15:40,872 --> 00:15:43,207 Listen, I'm not saying you should have gotten her 435 00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:45,109 and anniversary gift, but if you wanted to, 436 00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:47,411 I know a place that is just fabulous 437 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,814 with accessories, trinkets, and tchotchkes 438 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,282 that are to die for. 439 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,217 What the hell's a tchotchke? 440 00:15:53,251 --> 00:15:54,318 Vicki. 441 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,686 Excuse me, Vicki, for one second. 442 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:56,721 Okay, I'm coming. 443 00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,422 This is insane. 444 00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,924 Ahh! 445 00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,025 What happened in the fight? 446 00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:02,526 - The fight is over. - It's over? 447 00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:03,661 It's over. 448 00:16:03,695 --> 00:16:06,831 Alvarez literally knocked Totino off his feet, 449 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:09,066 shot to the head, shot to the body, 450 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,202 and he was down. 451 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:12,737 This is crazy. 452 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,672 Look, I throw a fight party in my own house, 453 00:16:14,706 --> 00:16:16,273 and I don't even get to watch the fight. 454 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,309 Well, this is the worst book club ever. 455 00:16:18,343 --> 00:16:19,377 Hold on. 456 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:20,778 Hold on. 457 00:16:20,812 --> 00:16:25,149 You guys are arguing over chips, dips, 12 bucks, and tchotchkes. 458 00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:26,250 I need to sit down for this. 459 00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:28,152 Everybody go sit down. 460 00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:30,121 Everyone sit down. 461 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,689 [Sighs] 462 00:16:31,723 --> 00:16:34,859 I thought women were petty. 463 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,597 Man, black belt Jones is the man. 464 00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:42,400 I've never seen a guy defeat the mafia with karate. 465 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,335 That movie was really good. 466 00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,370 Did Jim Kelly star in any other movies? 467 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,806 Oh, girl, please, we could have a Jim Kelly marathon. 468 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,074 Oh, can we watch another one? 469 00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,376 - Sure. - I loved his hair. 470 00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,645 What were those things called on the side of his face? 471 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,280 Sideburns. 472 00:16:56,314 --> 00:16:58,916 Say, go look in there and get the Black Samurai. 473 00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:00,351 That will be the next one we watch. 474 00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:04,021 Okay. 475 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,089 Lindsey did it. 476 00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,290 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 477 00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:08,159 [Both arguing] 478 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,261 Kids, kids, it's okay. 479 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:11,662 You find the movie. 480 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,030 I will pick up the popcorn. 481 00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,265 It's no big deal. 482 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:17,435 Excuse me. 483 00:17:19,404 --> 00:17:20,404 My fault? 484 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,706 How is this my fault? 485 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,607 Next you're gonna tell me I was just being petty. 486 00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:27,478 No, you're just an idiot for not checking the cable box. 487 00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:30,081 And if you didn't bring the guys back here, 488 00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,615 none of this would have happened, 489 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,151 because we'd still be in our book club meeting. 490 00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:35,953 Okay, so now back to you. 491 00:17:35,987 --> 00:17:38,222 Okay, all I'm saying is, I was dating this girl, 492 00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:40,624 and she decided she wanted to have a one-month anniversary. 493 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,926 Okay. 494 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,461 Well, I'm not gonna get her something expensive 495 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,129 and feel like an idiot, but I don't want to look like a jerk 496 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,297 and get her something cheap. 497 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:47,898 So you didn't buy her anything? 498 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,434 No, and she read this stupid book 499 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,902 and decided I was being petty, 500 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,672 and I couldn't explain to her that it was about the principle. 501 00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:56,807 If she was the hottest girl you'd ever seen, 502 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,342 why couldn't you buy her something nice? 503 00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:00,044 I know, like some lingerie. 504 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:02,113 I know this amazing place that's... 505 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,180 We know. 506 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,815 [Together] It's to die for. 507 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:08,085 And you two fighting over chips and salsa. Petty. 508 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,087 - Hey. - Feeling here. 509 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,423 And you, you break up with a beautiful woman, 510 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:15,693 because you don't want to buy her a gift. Petty. 511 00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:16,694 If it wasn't my book, 512 00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:18,095 it would have been something else. 513 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,231 It's better that you broke up after a month 514 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,499 rather than waiting a year. 515 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:22,666 A year? 516 00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,902 I've never dated a woman more than 4 1/2 months. 517 00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:26,237 What? 518 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,272 Why not? 519 00:18:28,306 --> 00:18:29,373 It's the principle. 520 00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:33,010 [Together] What? Oh, man, come on. 521 00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:36,613 Look, I don't know what you two discussed, 522 00:18:36,647 --> 00:18:40,083 but as far as I can tell, you're both being petty. 523 00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:41,918 Here. 524 00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:43,887 - Here you go. - What's this? 525 00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:44,854 You happy now? 526 00:18:44,889 --> 00:18:46,356 Man, I can't take your money. 527 00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:47,991 Yes, you can. Now get out. 528 00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:49,959 Nick. 529 00:18:49,994 --> 00:18:52,729 Bye. 530 00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:54,197 Look, I'm sorry. 531 00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:56,099 Go. 532 00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:58,069 Out. 533 00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:03,006 Nick, this was so much fun, so thank you, 534 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,874 and, Vicki, nice to meet you. 535 00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,910 Oh, nice to meet you too. 536 00:19:06,944 --> 00:19:08,678 I don't like her. 537 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,882 If I were petty, I would say I heard that. 538 00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,785 Hm. 539 00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:19,255 Suzanne, this book club, I can't even say it, 540 00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:20,457 but you know what I'm thinking. 541 00:19:20,491 --> 00:19:23,159 I do, and I'm glad you thought it was. 542 00:19:23,194 --> 00:19:25,061 It was. Thanks for having me over. 543 00:19:25,095 --> 00:19:26,830 Well, technically, I didn't have you over, 544 00:19:26,864 --> 00:19:29,399 but thank you for having yourself over. 545 00:19:34,305 --> 00:19:37,340 Vicki, I don't know how your other book clubs have been, 546 00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:39,275 but I want to apologize for this one. 547 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:42,011 No, this was absolutely fabulous. 548 00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:44,414 This was the first time I was able to show readers 549 00:19:44,448 --> 00:19:46,749 how the concepts of my book actually apply 550 00:19:46,784 --> 00:19:48,485 to these everyday situations. 551 00:19:48,519 --> 00:19:50,053 Oh, well, good. I'm glad. 552 00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,754 Nah. 553 00:19:51,789 --> 00:19:53,056 Thank you so much. 554 00:19:53,090 --> 00:19:56,326 Oh, you're welcome, and nice to meet you, Nick. 555 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,095 You know, you remind me of my ex-husband. 556 00:19:59,129 --> 00:20:01,865 Why, did you get on his nerves too? 557 00:20:01,899 --> 00:20:02,966 Stop being petty, 558 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,670 and read the book. 559 00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:09,072 I like her. 560 00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:11,276 Did you see her hit me like that? 561 00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:14,677 You want some coffee, babe? 562 00:20:14,712 --> 00:20:16,747 Oh, yes, thank you. 563 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,416 Babe, let me ask you a question. 564 00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:22,452 When you wanted chips and salsa yesterday, 565 00:20:22,486 --> 00:20:25,889 did you ever once think about looking in the cabinets? 566 00:20:25,923 --> 00:20:27,757 No. 567 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,126 Yes. 568 00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:33,563 Hey, guys. 569 00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:35,865 - Hi. - Hey, look who's back. 570 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,866 Good morning. 571 00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:39,235 Okay, so how was it? 572 00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,237 It was a so awesome. 573 00:20:41,272 --> 00:20:42,238 We had a lot of fun. 574 00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:44,574 It was the worst night of my life. 575 00:20:44,608 --> 00:20:45,942 Marilyn. 576 00:20:45,976 --> 00:20:49,279 But if you need me to take care of them next week, 577 00:20:49,313 --> 00:20:50,880 I'd be happy to. 578 00:20:50,915 --> 00:20:53,084 Eh, don't ruin it. 579 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:56,152 I'll take it. 580 00:20:56,186 --> 00:20:58,092 - Yeah. - I'll take it. 581 00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:01,692 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com