1
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:02,769
So here's what you missed on Glee.
Will's dating
2
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,705
the hot substitute, Holly
Holliday. She's totally sassy
3
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,773
and you can really see why
he's into her. Sexy.
4
00:00:06,841 --> 00:00:08,508
Quinn and Finn are back
together in a big way, and so
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,944
is the Glee Club. They did
original songs, and now they're
6
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,713
headed to New York.
Get out! Go!
7
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,381
But Sue thinks Will made her
lose at Nationals, and she's
8
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,216
sort of gone over the edge,
even for her, and that's saying
9
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,318
something, and that's what you
missed on Glee!
10
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,357
(Bell ringing)
11
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,729
All right. We need $5,000
12
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to pay for our trip
to Nationals in New York.
13
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What happened to the money
that we got from the Cheerios!?
14
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,068
I guess Sue was hiding it
in offshore accounts
15
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:36,803
in the Cayman Islands,
and we're having some trouble
16
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,305
accessing some of it.
17
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Any of it.
18
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:44,811
This is Salt-water Taffy.
19
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Ah, I love salt water.
20
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When I was a student here,
we paid for our entire trip
21
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,650
to Nationals, selling this.
22
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Classroom to classroom,
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door to door,
24
00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,989
we pushed this stuff like crack.
25
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And so will we.
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00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,560
So, to make $5,000
27
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at 25 cents a piece,
28
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we need to sell 20,000
pieces of Taffy.
29
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Wait, do you honestly think that
we can sell 20,000 anythings?
30
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I mean, we won Regionals
31
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for the first time since
dinosaurs roamed the planet,
32
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and I still got a freaking
Cherry Icee facial.
33
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:18,779
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
34
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:19,913
Yeah.
Santana is right.
35
00:01:19,981 --> 00:01:22,349
Nobody cares about us.
36
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I can't listen to this.
37
00:01:23,785 --> 00:01:24,885
Mike, are you okay?
38
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,420
No.
39
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:29,356
You guys complain all the time
about being mistreated,
40
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but you have no idea what it's
like to work your butt off
41
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,795
for something and have everyone,
even your friends, ignore you.
42
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,797
I am so trying to remember
his name right now.
43
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,299
Artie, Tina, Brittany and
I are on the Brainiacs.
44
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,767
Isn't that the academic
decathlon team?
45
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:41,902
Wait. We have one of those?
46
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:43,303
Yes, we do.
47
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,105
And the four of us went
on the smartypants show,
48
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:47,641
and beat Carmel High to go to
the academic decathlon finals
49
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,277
in Detroit next week.
What? You guys were on TV?
50
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,179
Well, why didn't you
tell us about it?
51
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,713
All: We did!
52
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:56,283
Wait, I... I get the three of
you being on the team...
53
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,952
Is it because two of them are
Asian, and Artie wears glasses?
54
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:02,155
No... but Brittany?
55
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:05,058
Liz Schneider was our fourth,
but she got rubella.
56
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,694
Her parents are hippies who
don't believe in vaccinations.
57
00:02:07,762 --> 00:02:10,063
Brittany was the only person
we could find on short notice.
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00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,499
Artie: We bribed her with dots.
59
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That Sunshine Corazon
60
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,069
that Rachel sent to a crack
house was on the other team.
61
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,437
I'll take "Deadly Cyclones,"
please.
62
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:18,939
Right on, soul sister.
63
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,474
In 1970...
64
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,043
The Bhola cyclone.
65
00:02:23,111 --> 00:02:24,845
Correct again.
66
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,414
Artie: Luckily, we had
our own secret weapon.
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I'll take "Cat Diseases."
68
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,085
I won't!
69
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,720
(Audience laughing)
The first known case
70
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:37,491
of this disease was first
diagnosed in Calcutta in 2001.
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00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,860
Feline AIDS?
72
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,595
(Bell chiming)
73
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,163
Rod: Correct. Bonus question.
74
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,731
Ringworm.
75
00:02:44,799 --> 00:02:46,133
Conjunctivitis.
76
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,101
Kidney failure.
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(Applause)
78
00:02:49,504 --> 00:02:52,639
Now, on to our final
speed round question.
79
00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:55,208
Whoever buzzes in first
and answers correctly
80
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:58,545
will win the title and go on to
our finals next week in Detroit.
81
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:02,549
Our final category,
"White Rappers."
82
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,185
Sadly, we can't afford to go to
the finals, so we're gonna have to forfeit.
83
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,120
Why don't you just have
your parents pay for it?
84
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,055
Because we shouldn't have to.
We're a school club.
85
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The school should pay for it.
86
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It's a matter of pride.
87
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,226
You guys are absolutely right.
88
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,928
How much do you need
to make the trip?
89
00:03:14,996 --> 00:03:16,363
With gas and motels,
90
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:20,033
if we only eat Funyuns,
uh, $250.
91
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,401
Which means...
92
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:27,240
We just need
to sell more Taffy.
93
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I'm sure you're wondering why
I called you all together here
94
00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:36,583
in the dead of night,
95
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,386
when I'm normally out
bow-hunting for hobos.
96
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,288
Dustin Goolsby,
Coach of Vocal Adrenaline.
97
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,689
Sandy Ryerson,
98
00:03:42,757 --> 00:03:44,925
defrocked educator
and legendary friend of Dorothy.
99
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,493
Terri Schuester, shrew.
100
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,994
I'm also an assistant manager.
101
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,631
We all have one
very important thing in common.
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We all hate Will Schuester.
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I have a question.
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00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:58,471
Are you single?
Uh, I'm not gay.
105
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:02,609
I don't care. You're hunky,
and I'm what they call "predatory gay."
106
00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,644
I'll admit I've been on
a bit of a losing streak,
107
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:08,415
having lost Regionals, and if
Will Schuester wins at Nationals,
108
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,016
my role as Reigning Champion
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00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,719
at this school will be usurped.
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I'm asking you for your help.
111
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:16,790
Our mission?
To destroy the Glee Club.
112
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:20,093
We'll target their fragile sense
of self-esteem
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00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:23,730
so that they implode long before
they can make it to Nationals.
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00:04:23,798 --> 00:04:24,864
And I call this union...
115
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,767
The "League of Doom".
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00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,236
Ooh.
117
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,837
Okay, first of all,
that is a ridiculous name.
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00:04:30,905 --> 00:04:32,138
And second of all,
what kind of a meeting
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00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:33,540
doesn't have bagels
or something?
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00:04:33,608 --> 00:04:35,408
Wow, it would be hard
to be married to you.
121
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,876
And for the record?
Or mixed nuts...
122
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,545
I am trying to move
on with my life.
123
00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:39,980
I don't hate Will Schuester.
124
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,281
But you do hate the Glee Club.
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00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,016
That's true. I do.
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And I am looking
for a new hobby.
127
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,019
Henceforth, you will be known
128
00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:47,621
by the following
super villain nicknames.
129
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,723
Sandy Ryerson,
you are the Pink Dagger.
130
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,691
Yes!
You are the Honey Badger,
131
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,159
nature's most ferocious animal.
132
00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,461
Look it up on YouTube.
133
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,730
Dustin Goolsby?
Sergeant Handsome.
134
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,532
My codename
135
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,034
will be General Zod.
Hold up.
136
00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:03,036
I coach the winningest
Glee Club in history.
137
00:05:03,104 --> 00:05:05,005
We're a lock to beat McKinley
at Nationals as it is.
138
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,539
Why would I want
to get involved in this?
139
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,642
Well, because, Sergeant, you
strike me as a bit of a tool
140
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,411
who enjoys playing mind games
with your opponents.
141
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:12,512
That's true.
I really do like doing that.
142
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:13,647
Legion of Evil?
143
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,949
League of Doom.
You can count me in.
144
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:18,385
Although I am enjoying
my second career
145
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,420
as a small-time
medical Marijuana dealer.
146
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,222
Okey-dokey.
It doesn't change the fact
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00:05:22,290 --> 00:05:23,957
that William took my job.
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00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:25,158
Here are your beepers.
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00:05:25,226 --> 00:05:27,327
You will await
further instructions.
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00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:31,197
And until then,
we will be known only as...
151
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,500
The "Legion of Evil". I don't think I was
listening when you said what our name was.
152
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,668
Wait a second. Is it
"League" or "Legion"?
153
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,169
Worst henchmen ever.
154
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,809
I missed you so much last week.
155
00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:44,811
So what do you want
to do tomorrow night?
156
00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:47,047
Whoa, there, cowboy, we haven't
even had our pizza yet.
157
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,782
I'm just trying
to get you when I can.
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00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,285
(Laughs)
159
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,487
You know, this is actually
160
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,457
the first relationship
I've had where the girl
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00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,626
hasn't been all over me
to spend more time with her.
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00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:00,894
Well, get used to it.
163
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,228
I'm a sub.
164
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,596
I'm a rolling stone.
165
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,032
I warned you that being in
a relationship with me meant
166
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,567
being in a constant
state of wanting.
167
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:11,204
I am both awesome and
unavailable at the same time.
168
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,540
You're kind of awesome.
(Laughs)
169
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,108
What do you think about
my Taffy sale plan
170
00:06:15,176 --> 00:06:16,509
to send the "Brainiacs"
to Detroit?
171
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,146
Um, I think it's
as terrible as the word
172
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,548
"Brainiacs," but...
173
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,850
Oh, okay. Here's
your problem, all right?
174
00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:26,052
You're thinking
too small, okay?
175
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,988
That crazy ex-wife of yours
messed with your brain
176
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,124
and now you think
you can't dream.
177
00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:32,525
Okay. Well, what's your idea?
178
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,595
A Night of Neglect.
179
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,997
That actually sounds
like life with my ex-wife.
180
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:41,101
Hilarious. No, seriously,
here's what you need to do.
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00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,836
Have a benefit.
182
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:46,005
You know how they do on TV when
there's, like, an earthquake,
183
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,843
or they want to raise money
for, like, a sad disease.
184
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,077
That's actually
a really good idea.
185
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,779
I know it is.
186
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,781
See, your kids are feeling
really neglected, right?
187
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,716
So you fill the auditorium
with people who are there
188
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,218
to hear them sing, and poof!
189
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,653
Oh, I'm loving this.
190
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,756
And we can sell tickets.
191
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,892
And it is a perfect place
to practice for Nationals.
192
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,360
And you know the best part?
193
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,796
We're only going to do songs
by neglected artists.
194
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,733
Because it's
"A Night of Neglect."
195
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,269
Can you define what you mean
by "neglected artist"?
196
00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:19,406
Um, someone whose brilliance
isn't always appreciated.
197
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,473
Oh, so you mean like me.
198
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,542
I mean, like all of us.
199
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,544
All right, everyone,
next Saturday night,
200
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:25,779
in our auditorium,
201
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,981
McKinley High's first annual
202
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,850
"Night of Neglect" fund-raiser
benefit is officially a go!
203
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,085
(Applause)
204
00:07:33,858 --> 00:07:35,292
(Bell ringing)
205
00:07:35,359 --> 00:07:36,993
Sergeant Handsome,
walk with me.
206
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:39,329
I'm surprised you even saw me.
207
00:07:39,397 --> 00:07:41,131
I was blending in
pretty well back there.
208
00:07:41,198 --> 00:07:43,133
Here's your mission. Word on
the street is that Schuester
209
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,669
and that substitute
Holly Holliday are official.
210
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:47,037
I need you to break them up.
211
00:07:47,104 --> 00:07:49,406
She's looser than a
thrift store turtleneck
212
00:07:49,473 --> 00:07:51,274
and probably just as diseased.
213
00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:52,609
Just my type.
214
00:07:52,677 --> 00:07:54,577
Psst! Ready for my
close-up, General Zog.
215
00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:56,179
Sandy, how do you manage
to enter a building
216
00:07:56,247 --> 00:07:58,214
without setting off
all the fire alarms?
217
00:07:58,282 --> 00:08:00,317
You know, I have to say, with
all this sneaking around,
218
00:08:00,384 --> 00:08:01,918
I have never felt more alive.
219
00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:03,520
What's my assignment?
220
00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:04,821
Pink Dagger, I just learned
221
00:08:04,889 --> 00:08:06,623
that the Glee Club
is performing a benefit concert.
222
00:08:06,691 --> 00:08:08,258
It's just the opening we need.
223
00:08:08,326 --> 00:08:10,260
There's a student club
I want you to sponsor.
224
00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:12,128
Heckling.
225
00:08:12,196 --> 00:08:14,064
The world's
second oldest profession.
226
00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:15,165
Hell am I doing in here?
227
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:16,232
Good. Louder.
228
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,834
In olden times,
229
00:08:17,902 --> 00:08:19,269
hecklers provided
a needed service
230
00:08:19,337 --> 00:08:21,771
to the medieval community.
Pink Dagger, if I may.
231
00:08:21,839 --> 00:08:24,741
Welcome to the very first
meeting of the Heckling Club.
232
00:08:24,809 --> 00:08:26,176
You set me up. You told me
233
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:27,711
I was supposed to come here
to get homework help.
234
00:08:27,778 --> 00:08:29,646
Congratulations. You're all in.
235
00:08:30,815 --> 00:08:33,983
I'm really confused.
236
00:08:34,051 --> 00:08:35,685
(Bell ringing)
I'm totally doing Lykke Li.
237
00:08:35,753 --> 00:08:37,654
She's Björk meets
Florence and The Machine,
238
00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:39,055
and a promising new talent.
239
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:40,390
What about you, Mike?
240
00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:42,859
"The Mike Chang Dance Dance
Revolution."
241
00:08:42,927 --> 00:08:44,728
I'm tired of my dancing
being overshadowed
242
00:08:44,795 --> 00:08:46,029
by all of you guys' singing.
243
00:08:46,097 --> 00:08:48,798
It's going to be just me
and my sweet moves
244
00:08:48,866 --> 00:08:50,233
on that stage.
245
00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:52,736
You're forgetting about
the most neglected artist
246
00:08:52,803 --> 00:08:53,970
this Glee Club's ever seen...
247
00:08:54,038 --> 00:08:55,238
Aretha Franklin.
248
00:08:55,306 --> 00:08:57,407
Neglected?
She's, like, the Queen of Soul.
249
00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,676
See, I auditioned for this club
250
00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:02,245
singing "Respect,"
and she's gotten none since.
251
00:09:02,313 --> 00:09:03,413
So I'm doing Aretha.
252
00:09:03,481 --> 00:09:04,414
Awesome, Mercedes.
253
00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:05,849
Awesome, all of you guys.
254
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:08,017
Those songs are great appetizers
to my main course.
255
00:09:08,085 --> 00:09:10,320
Celine Dion's "My
Heart Will Go On."
256
00:09:10,388 --> 00:09:11,454
It's gonna be our finale.
257
00:09:11,522 --> 00:09:12,789
(Imitates tires screeching)
258
00:09:12,857 --> 00:09:14,624
That's like the biggest
song of all time.
259
00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:15,959
No. You don't understand.
260
00:09:16,026 --> 00:09:18,228
Celine isn't the
neglected artist, I am.
261
00:09:18,295 --> 00:09:20,630
I was kind of hoping
to do the closing number.
262
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:23,199
Hey, you guys remember
Sunshine Corazon?
263
00:09:23,267 --> 00:09:24,634
You are a terrible spy.
264
00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:26,202
Seriously, with your size,
265
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:27,871
you easily could have stayed
in the air ducts for days.
266
00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:29,339
I'm not a spy.
267
00:09:29,407 --> 00:09:31,274
I heard about your benefit
concert on Facebook,
268
00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:32,809
and I wanted to perform.
269
00:09:32,877 --> 00:09:35,612
I know what it feels like
to be in Academic Decathlon.
270
00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,314
No one pays attention to you.
No one cares.
271
00:09:38,382 --> 00:09:39,983
It's not right.
We study so hard.
272
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:41,317
Yeah, but you're
in Vocal Adrenaline.
273
00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:42,552
How do we know
we can trust you?
274
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,021
Because I have nothing
against any of you.
275
00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:48,525
I have 600 Twitter followers.
I can get all of them to come.
276
00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:49,959
How many tickets
have we sold so far?
277
00:09:50,027 --> 00:09:52,228
Four. No one's interested.
It's just sad.
278
00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:54,998
Please, just let me
show you what I can do.
279
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,300
I would like to sing
the perfect song about neglect,
280
00:09:57,368 --> 00:09:58,635
"All By Myself."
281
00:09:58,702 --> 00:10:00,570
I'm such a better singer
than everyone else,
282
00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:02,205
so I know how it feels.
283
00:10:02,273 --> 00:10:04,507
I'm all alone at the top.
284
00:10:04,575 --> 00:10:07,610
Also, I'm really short. So even
when I'm in a group of people,
285
00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:09,712
it feels like I'm wandering
alone through a forest.
286
00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:12,115
There's no way that she's
singing in our auditorium, okay?
287
00:10:12,183 --> 00:10:13,650
She's the enemy.
288
00:10:13,717 --> 00:10:16,886
I say we give her a chance. I
mean, you owe her, Rachel.
289
00:10:16,954 --> 00:10:19,456
You sent her to a
frickin' crack house.
290
00:10:19,523 --> 00:10:21,591
(Slow ballad plays)
291
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:27,831
♪ When I was young ♪
292
00:10:27,898 --> 00:10:32,535
♪ I never needed anyone ♪
293
00:10:34,505 --> 00:10:37,907
♪ And making love
was just for fun ♪
294
00:10:39,877 --> 00:10:43,213
♪ Those days are gone ♪
295
00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:49,719
♪ Living alone ♪
296
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:54,090
♪ I think
of all the friends I've known ♪
297
00:10:56,660 --> 00:11:00,563
♪ When I dial the telephone ♪
298
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:05,969
♪ Nobody's home ♪
299
00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:19,082
♪ All by myself ♪
300
00:11:19,149 --> 00:11:21,184
♪ Don't wanna be ♪
301
00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:26,256
♪ all by myself ♪
302
00:11:26,323 --> 00:11:29,158
♪ anymore ♪
303
00:11:29,226 --> 00:11:35,164
♪ all by myself ♪
304
00:11:35,232 --> 00:11:37,166
♪ don't wanna live ♪
305
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:41,905
♪ All by myself ♪
306
00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:49,345
♪ Anymore... ♪
307
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:53,917
(Applause, cheering, whooping)
308
00:11:53,984 --> 00:11:55,852
Go on, now!
309
00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:07,363
♪ Don't wanna live by myself,
by myself anymore ♪
310
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:14,203
♪ By myself ♪
311
00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:16,673
♪ Anymore ♪
312
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:25,815
♪ whoa, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪
313
00:12:25,883 --> 00:12:28,851
(Applause and cheering)
Come on!
314
00:12:30,821 --> 00:12:33,823
So, can I perform with you guys?
315
00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:35,191
Absolutely not.
She's just trying
316
00:12:35,259 --> 00:12:37,493
to get on our good sides
so she can spy on us.
317
00:12:37,561 --> 00:12:38,895
You're one to talk. We told you
318
00:12:38,963 --> 00:12:41,397
the same thing
about Jesse St. James last year.
319
00:12:41,465 --> 00:12:42,899
And you were right!
Finn: This whole thing
320
00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:44,867
isn't about us. It's about
helping the "Brainiacs".
321
00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:46,235
Puck: Yeah, we need Sunshine's
322
00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:47,770
Twitter followers to
come and pay for tickets,
323
00:12:47,838 --> 00:12:49,572
or there's no point in
having a benefit at all.
324
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,707
(Sighs)
325
00:12:52,209 --> 00:12:55,111
Fine. Mercedes,
you're okay with being bumped
326
00:12:55,179 --> 00:12:56,779
to the decidedly less glamorous
middle spot.
327
00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:57,981
Right?
328
00:12:58,048 --> 00:13:00,883
Um... sure, I guess.
329
00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:05,321
Absolutely.
330
00:13:10,094 --> 00:13:11,794
(School bell ringing)
331
00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:13,763
Hey, Mercedes, can
I have your shoes?
332
00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:17,433
I promise to give you a dirty
pair of my flip-flops in return.
333
00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:19,135
Do you know how hard it is
334
00:13:19,203 --> 00:13:20,837
to find high-top, yellow
patent leather sneakers?
335
00:13:20,904 --> 00:13:22,372
Really? I'm surprised
336
00:13:22,439 --> 00:13:24,474
you didn't just give them
to me, considering
337
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:25,775
how little you
think of yourself.
338
00:13:25,843 --> 00:13:27,910
You're the most talented singer
in Glee Club,
339
00:13:27,978 --> 00:13:30,113
yet you're constantly taking
the backseat to everyone.
340
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,115
Well, what am I supposed to do?
341
00:13:32,182 --> 00:13:34,450
I'm-I'm tired of fighting
with Rachel all the time.
342
00:13:34,518 --> 00:13:37,520
Okay, you're always singing
about R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
343
00:13:37,588 --> 00:13:39,522
but respect isn't something
you can ask for.
344
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:40,857
You have to demand it.
345
00:13:40,924 --> 00:13:42,458
And you deserve it.
346
00:13:42,526 --> 00:13:44,527
You don't seem to have trouble
in that department.
347
00:13:44,595 --> 00:13:46,062
Right.
You know what?
348
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:48,698
Neither does Aretha
or J-Lo or Mariah.
349
00:13:48,766 --> 00:13:51,200
You know why? Because
they get proof every day.
350
00:13:51,268 --> 00:13:53,736
I heard Mariah
makes appointments at 9:00 A.M.,
351
00:13:53,804 --> 00:13:55,938
and shows up at 4:00
in the afternoon
352
00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:58,775
because she knows
people will wait.
353
00:13:58,842 --> 00:14:01,077
But those kinds
of demands are ridiculous.
354
00:14:01,145 --> 00:14:02,912
Exactly. But once
you see that no matter
355
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,781
how ridiculous your demands,
people will meet them,
356
00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:06,249
you know you have it.
Have what?
357
00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:09,786
Respect. And as your manager,
358
00:14:09,853 --> 00:14:11,120
I'd say you're
thinking too small.
359
00:14:11,188 --> 00:14:13,156
Wait a minute.
Since when are you my manager?
360
00:14:13,223 --> 00:14:15,191
Since you agreed to
give me ten percent
361
00:14:15,259 --> 00:14:17,927
of whatever we can come
up with to ask for.
362
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:22,131
Sister, you got yourself a deal.
363
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,822
(Whirring)
364
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,628
Are you okay?
365
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,297
Yup. I will be as soon
as this counter's really clean.
366
00:14:36,134 --> 00:14:38,835
I hear that OCD symptoms
tend to get worse
367
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:40,737
when the person
is under great stress.
368
00:14:42,940 --> 00:14:44,441
(Sniffles)
369
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,009
Carl's gone.
370
00:14:50,548 --> 00:14:52,616
He asked for an annulment,
371
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,819
which I guess
372
00:14:55,887 --> 00:14:57,387
he's legally entitled to,
373
00:14:57,455 --> 00:15:00,190
considering we never actually
consummated the marriage.
374
00:15:00,258 --> 00:15:01,158
You guys never...?
375
00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:06,730
At what age are you allowed
376
00:15:06,798 --> 00:15:09,733
to look back on your life
with nothing but regret?
377
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,201
Is 32 too young?
378
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,909
I actually believed
379
00:15:18,976 --> 00:15:21,344
that I'd have a handle
on my OCD by now.
380
00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:27,217
It's just been so long, and...
381
00:15:27,285 --> 00:15:29,119
I'm so tired.
382
00:15:34,525 --> 00:15:36,526
This your lunch?
383
00:15:36,594 --> 00:15:38,695
Yeah.
384
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,370
What are you doing?
385
00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:53,443
One day, you're going to find
a way to beat this thing.
386
00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:55,011
Until then,
387
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,581
I'm here for you.
388
00:15:57,648 --> 00:15:59,015
No judgment.
389
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,118
Just...
390
00:16:01,185 --> 00:16:02,986
A friend that you can count on.
391
00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:07,657
Cheers.
392
00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:15,332
(School bell ringing)
Finn: So, uh, the "Brainiacs"
393
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:18,235
asked us to be benefit heads
for the Night of Neglect.
394
00:16:18,302 --> 00:16:19,669
Quinn:
And we would like to select you
395
00:16:19,737 --> 00:16:21,004
head of Talent Relations.
396
00:16:21,072 --> 00:16:22,305
We figured
you're probably used to relating
397
00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:24,274
to talent
because you're so talented.
398
00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:27,010
Well, first, I'm honored
that you came to me,
399
00:16:27,078 --> 00:16:29,546
but I think it's a little
insensitive of you to be
400
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,615
flaunting your dating in my face.
Fantastic.
401
00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,618
'Cause we are having problems
with one of our performers.
402
00:16:34,685 --> 00:16:36,786
A) I need a bowl of green M&Ms.
403
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:39,389
And by bowl, I mean large bowl.
Well, really a small barrel.
404
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,590
O... kay.
405
00:16:40,658 --> 00:16:41,992
Two) I need humidifiers.
406
00:16:42,059 --> 00:16:45,028
Lots of humidifiers.
A team of humidifiers
407
00:16:45,096 --> 00:16:46,630
whose only job is to make
408
00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:48,331
the air that Mercedes
breathes more humid.
409
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,667
We'll try our best.
Shh. I'm not finished.
410
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:53,336
Before every performance,
I like to wash my hands.
411
00:16:53,404 --> 00:16:56,940
And after doing so, I like to
dry them on a fresh puppy.
412
00:16:57,008 --> 00:16:59,109
Excuse me?
I believe you heard Ms. Jones.
413
00:16:59,177 --> 00:17:01,111
In fact, if I were you, I'd
probably get a whole litter
414
00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:03,180
of Fluffy puppies, just in case
she decides
415
00:17:03,247 --> 00:17:05,382
to take a post-show shower.
416
00:17:05,449 --> 00:17:06,516
Stars make demands
the way that babies
417
00:17:06,584 --> 00:17:07,751
make messes in their diapers.
418
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,452
They can't help it.
What a star wants is
419
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,154
to just feel appreciated
and respected.
420
00:17:11,222 --> 00:17:13,323
They just want to feel
like they're being heard.
421
00:17:13,391 --> 00:17:15,058
She seemed pretty serious
about the puppy.
422
00:17:15,126 --> 00:17:17,928
Well, obviously, hers is a
talent that we have neglected.
423
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,229
I can relate.
424
00:17:19,297 --> 00:17:21,665
So leave it to me.
I'll take care of it.
425
00:17:24,235 --> 00:17:25,569
(British accent):
Hello, class.
426
00:17:25,636 --> 00:17:27,637
I am the world's most famous
and stylish divorcee
427
00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:30,006
Wallace Simpson.
428
00:17:30,074 --> 00:17:32,809
I was married a bunch of times,
and then I fell in love
429
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,245
with Edward VIII and made him
abdicate the throne.
430
00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:39,749
I had giant hands,
so a lot of people thought
431
00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:42,552
I was a hermaphrodite, but
that wasn't true. Others said
432
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,287
I was a Nazi sympathizer.
433
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,822
That was true.
434
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,391
Boy, did I think
that Hitler showed promise!
435
00:17:48,459 --> 00:17:49,993
(Bell rings)
(Normal voice): Tomorrow we're gonna do
436
00:17:50,061 --> 00:17:53,663
Catherine the Great and her pet
stallion Fred, so come early.
437
00:17:57,235 --> 00:17:59,202
We haven't been introduced.
438
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,438
I'm Dustin Goolsby,
Coach of Vocal Adrenaline.
439
00:18:01,505 --> 00:18:03,206
Oh.
440
00:18:03,274 --> 00:18:04,975
So you're the big
competition at Nationals.
441
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,444
Well, thank you very much
for volunteering your star
442
00:18:07,511 --> 00:18:09,946
for our Night
of Neglect benefit.
443
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:12,649
What are you talking about?
I never approved that.
444
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:16,486
Let me cut to the sexy chase.
445
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,054
Think about how many more years
446
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:19,522
you have left of
productive ovulating.
447
00:18:19,590 --> 00:18:22,359
Those aren't eggs in
those Fallopian tubes.
448
00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:24,394
They're rare, exotic pearls.
449
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:26,963
Oh. So you're trying
to seduce me.
450
00:18:27,031 --> 00:18:28,999
Jackpot. This hairline
is 85% my own,
451
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,034
and my sperm count
is off the charts.
452
00:18:31,102 --> 00:18:32,636
Well... (Laughs)
453
00:18:32,703 --> 00:18:35,972
As tempting as that sounds,
I have a boyfriend.
454
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,274
Yeah, you do now.
455
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:39,476
Admit it. I'm handsome,
456
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:41,478
I'm good-looking, and
I'm easy on the eyes.
457
00:18:41,545 --> 00:18:43,313
Also, I'm gorgeous.
458
00:18:43,381 --> 00:18:46,916
And I'm dating Will Schuester.
459
00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:48,251
Let me tell you something
about Will Schuester.
460
00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:49,986
That guy has tiny baby hands.
461
00:18:50,054 --> 00:18:52,022
Seriously. It's weird.
462
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,091
Once I saw him try to pick up a
Big Mac, and he couldn't do it.
463
00:18:55,159 --> 00:18:56,526
He had to eat it
layer by layer.
464
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,895
Teeny, tiny, wee
465
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,163
baby hands.
466
00:19:00,231 --> 00:19:03,199
That are big enough
to knock your teeth out.
467
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,801
Well, this is awkward.
468
00:19:06,537 --> 00:19:08,571
Consider my offer.
469
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:11,975
What offer?
470
00:19:12,043 --> 00:19:13,310
He was just hitting on me.
471
00:19:13,377 --> 00:19:15,211
Isn't that silly?
472
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,115
What's wrong?
473
00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:21,418
Well, we were supposed to have
lunch, and you don't show.
474
00:19:21,485 --> 00:19:23,853
And now you're getting hit on
by the coach of our archrival.
475
00:19:23,921 --> 00:19:25,655
How is that my fault?
476
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:27,624
And by the way, I did
show up for lunch,
477
00:19:27,692 --> 00:19:29,092
and you looked like
you were actually having
478
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,194
a pretty good time.
479
00:19:31,262 --> 00:19:34,164
I kind of felt
like I was intruding, so...
480
00:19:34,231 --> 00:19:35,632
Oh, man. I am...
481
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,434
I am not the jealous type, Will.
482
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,336
Neither am I.
483
00:19:39,403 --> 00:19:43,373
Look, how about instead
of a pointless argument,
484
00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:45,775
we rehearse our duet
for the Benefit?
485
00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:49,679
I really don't, uh, feel in the
mood to do a duet right now.
486
00:19:51,248 --> 00:19:53,550
I think I just have
to clear my head.
487
00:19:56,253 --> 00:19:59,055
Uh, no problem.
488
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,394
I'll see you at the Benefit.
489
00:20:06,397 --> 00:20:09,532
(School bell ringing)
490
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,801
Well, as you can see,
we have followed
491
00:20:11,869 --> 00:20:14,137
your exact specifications.
492
00:20:14,205 --> 00:20:16,072
Wait, where's my puppy?
493
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:17,674
She specifically
asked for a puppy.
494
00:20:17,742 --> 00:20:19,509
Mercedes: This is unbelievable.
495
00:20:19,577 --> 00:20:22,178
How am I supposed to work like this?
Don't worry. Puckerman is
496
00:20:22,246 --> 00:20:25,415
out right now scouring pounds
for the perfect Pomeranian.
497
00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:27,417
Good. This is almost
worthy of the artist
498
00:20:27,485 --> 00:20:29,486
doing the closing
number at the benefit.
499
00:20:29,553 --> 00:20:32,021
Well, actually, um, Sunshine
500
00:20:32,089 --> 00:20:34,357
is going to be doing
the last number, because
501
00:20:34,425 --> 00:20:36,126
she's bringing in hundreds
of people.
502
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,061
And so, I'll go on
503
00:20:38,129 --> 00:20:39,796
before Sunshine
because, I'm, well, me,
504
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:43,166
and, uh, Ms. Holliday and
Mercedes will go on before me.
505
00:20:43,234 --> 00:20:44,634
Fine.
506
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,871
But Ms. Jones isn't
happy about it.
507
00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:49,205
In exchange, she's demanding
508
00:20:49,273 --> 00:20:51,341
that during the day
of the benefit, her feet
509
00:20:51,409 --> 00:20:53,476
never touch the ground.
Excuse me?
510
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,412
Oh, did you not see Celine's wedding?
Carried in.
511
00:20:55,479 --> 00:20:56,679
Cher's comeback tour?
Carried in.
512
00:20:56,747 --> 00:20:57,847
Gaga at the Grammys?
513
00:20:57,915 --> 00:20:59,749
Carried the hell in.
514
00:20:59,817 --> 00:21:01,418
Um, I'm sorry. Are-are
515
00:21:01,485 --> 00:21:04,754
you saying that you want to be
carried in in a giant egg?
516
00:21:07,758 --> 00:21:09,726
We'll get back to you.
517
00:21:12,288 --> 00:21:13,689
And that was
the Spanish classroom.
518
00:21:13,757 --> 00:21:15,624
And of course,
you know the choir room.
519
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,059
Brittany:
Hey, you guys, you better
520
00:21:17,127 --> 00:21:18,661
get in the auditorium.
The show's about to start.
521
00:21:18,728 --> 00:21:19,995
It's going to be a
full house, ya'll.
522
00:21:20,063 --> 00:21:21,797
Got to get there early
to get a good seat.
523
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,699
We'll be there in a minute.
I'm just showing Blaine around.
524
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:25,234
Thanks for coming and
supporting us, guys.
525
00:21:25,301 --> 00:21:26,368
It's really cool.
526
00:21:26,436 --> 00:21:27,569
Bye.
527
00:21:30,106 --> 00:21:31,707
Oh, you miss them.
528
00:21:31,775 --> 00:21:34,743
What the hell
are you two doing here?
529
00:21:34,811 --> 00:21:36,245
We're here for the benefit.
Don't tell me you're going.
530
00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:37,579
I wouldn't be caught dead.
531
00:21:37,647 --> 00:21:39,448
I was pumping iron in the gym,
532
00:21:39,516 --> 00:21:41,083
and one of the guys told me
you two were here
533
00:21:41,151 --> 00:21:42,785
spreading your fairy dust
all over the place.
534
00:21:42,852 --> 00:21:44,286
Would you just give it up?
535
00:21:44,354 --> 00:21:46,121
You can live whatever lie
you want, but don't pretend
536
00:21:46,189 --> 00:21:47,723
the three of us don't know
what's really going on here.
537
00:21:47,791 --> 00:21:49,525
You don't know squat, butt boy.
538
00:21:49,592 --> 00:21:52,461
Hey, no, guys, stop!
Real brave with your fists,
539
00:21:52,529 --> 00:21:54,496
but you're a coward when
it comes to the truth.
540
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:57,366
Truth about what?
It's none of your business, J-Lo.
541
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,203
First of all, anything
you do became my business
542
00:22:01,271 --> 00:22:04,106
when you decided to toss
that Slushee up in my grill.
543
00:22:04,174 --> 00:22:06,542
I think I can take a couple
of queers and a girl.
544
00:22:06,609 --> 00:22:08,711
(Chuckles)
Okay.
545
00:22:08,778 --> 00:22:10,079
See, here's what's gonna
go down. Two choices.
546
00:22:10,146 --> 00:22:12,514
You stay here,
and I crack one of your nuts...
547
00:22:12,582 --> 00:22:15,551
right or left, that's your
choice... or you walk away,
548
00:22:15,618 --> 00:22:17,286
and live to be a
douchebag another day.
549
00:22:17,353 --> 00:22:20,556
Oh, and also, I have
razorblades hidden in my hair.
550
00:22:20,623 --> 00:22:21,890
Mm-hmm. Tons.
551
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:23,692
Just all up in there.
552
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,894
Mm-hmm.
553
00:22:25,962 --> 00:22:26,995
We could have handled that.
554
00:22:27,063 --> 00:22:29,131
It was more fun
doing it together.
555
00:22:29,199 --> 00:22:30,265
(Phone vibrates)
556
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:33,335
Oh, crap.
557
00:22:33,403 --> 00:22:35,771
Glee club:
♪ la, la, la, la, la ♪
558
00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:37,372
♪ la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la ♪
559
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,640
Hold up, hold up.
This just in.
560
00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:40,042
According to
Sunshine's Twitter,
561
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:42,144
she's not coming, and neither
are any of her followers.
562
00:22:42,212 --> 00:22:43,912
I told you. She's evil.
563
00:22:43,980 --> 00:22:44,980
I was just in the auditorium.
564
00:22:45,048 --> 00:22:46,348
There's, like,
six people in there.
565
00:22:46,416 --> 00:22:47,950
I say we blow this whole thing
off and hit the arcade.
566
00:22:50,019 --> 00:22:52,221
No. No. Screw that.
567
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,490
These people paid
to see us sing.
568
00:22:54,557 --> 00:22:55,991
What's that saying?
569
00:22:56,059 --> 00:22:58,527
The show's got to go all over
the place or something.
570
00:22:58,595 --> 00:23:00,229
You mean, "The show must go on."
Yeah.
571
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:01,663
Finn's right, you guys.
572
00:23:01,731 --> 00:23:03,432
Okay, whether there's
six or 6,000 people,
573
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:05,467
out there, we still have
to give it our all.
574
00:23:05,535 --> 00:23:07,903
Okay, Tina, you're up first.
575
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:10,739
(Lykke Li's "I Follow Rivers"
plays)
576
00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:23,352
♪ Oh, I beg you ♪
577
00:23:23,419 --> 00:23:26,555
♪ Can I follow? ♪
578
00:23:26,623 --> 00:23:29,224
You suck!
Where's Rachel Berry?
579
00:23:29,292 --> 00:23:30,425
♪ Be my only ♪
580
00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:32,861
Show tunes! Show tunes!
Show tunes!
581
00:23:32,929 --> 00:23:35,998
♪ Be the water
where I'm wading ♪
582
00:23:36,065 --> 00:23:37,866
You make me barf!
583
00:23:37,934 --> 00:23:40,402
♪ Running high ♪
584
00:23:40,470 --> 00:23:44,039
♪ Run deep, run wild ♪
585
00:23:44,107 --> 00:23:47,709
♪ Oh, I'll follow,
I'll follow you ♪
586
00:23:47,777 --> 00:23:50,479
♪ Deep sea, baby ♪
587
00:23:50,547 --> 00:23:52,247
Boo!
Azimio: Damn, is this even music?
588
00:23:52,315 --> 00:23:53,782
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
589
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,050
Boo! Kiss my ass!
590
00:23:55,118 --> 00:23:56,518
♪ Oh, oh ♪
I can't take this!
591
00:23:56,586 --> 00:23:58,020
I can't stand this!
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
592
00:23:58,087 --> 00:23:59,588
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh. ♪
(Heckling continues)
593
00:23:59,656 --> 00:24:01,790
(Slow, distorted):
Boo!
594
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:03,325
Boo!
595
00:24:03,393 --> 00:24:05,360
(Blowing raspberry)
596
00:24:05,428 --> 00:24:09,331
(Sobbing)
597
00:24:09,399 --> 00:24:12,835
It's the worst I've ever felt
in my entire life.
598
00:24:12,902 --> 00:24:14,336
I didn't think it was possible
599
00:24:14,404 --> 00:24:15,504
for people to
hate us even more.
600
00:24:15,572 --> 00:24:16,905
We're calling this off.
601
00:24:16,973 --> 00:24:20,075
Guys, I hate to say it,
but I think we have to buck up.
602
00:24:20,143 --> 00:24:22,311
Tina, I'm sorry you had
to go through that,
603
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,179
but it's actually a really good
lesson for us.
604
00:24:24,247 --> 00:24:26,515
I mean, that's
a part of show business, guys.
605
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:27,983
Sometimes people
can be really mean.
606
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:29,685
Think about
what's going to happen
607
00:24:29,752 --> 00:24:31,620
if we have an unfriendly crowd
at Nationals in New York.
608
00:24:31,688 --> 00:24:33,155
And I'm sure there's going
609
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:34,857
to be some Vocal Adrenaline
hecklers there, too.
610
00:24:34,924 --> 00:24:37,860
We need to find some strength
and barrel through this.
611
00:24:37,927 --> 00:24:40,329
I think I may know a way
to shut those hecklers up
612
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,597
for a number or two.
613
00:24:41,664 --> 00:24:43,966
Take as much as you want.
614
00:24:44,033 --> 00:24:45,334
Thanks, Babe. I'll take two.
615
00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:46,668
And remember,
616
00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:49,338
vote Quinn Fabray
for prom queen.
617
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:52,908
Sam: And now,
please enjoy the dance stylings
618
00:24:52,976 --> 00:24:54,910
of Mr. Mike Chang
as he busts some moves
619
00:24:54,978 --> 00:24:56,912
to Jack Johnson's "Bubble Toes."
620
00:24:59,616 --> 00:25:02,885
♪ It's as simples as something
that nobody knows ♪
621
00:25:02,952 --> 00:25:05,454
♪ that her eyes are as big
as her bubbly toes ♪
622
00:25:05,521 --> 00:25:06,588
♪ on the feet of a queen ♪
623
00:25:06,656 --> 00:25:08,323
♪ of the hearts of the cards ♪
624
00:25:08,391 --> 00:25:10,993
♪ and her feet are all covered
with tar balls ♪
625
00:25:11,060 --> 00:25:13,428
(Groans)
♪ and so ♪
626
00:25:16,699 --> 00:25:18,600
♪ well, I was eating lunch
at the DLG ♪
627
00:25:18,668 --> 00:25:21,770
♪ when this little girl came
and she sat next to me ♪
628
00:25:21,838 --> 00:25:24,273
♪ never seen nobody move
the way she did ♪
629
00:25:24,340 --> 00:25:26,408
♪ well, she did, and she does,
and she'll do it again ♪
630
00:25:26,476 --> 00:25:29,278
♪ when you move like a
jellyfish, rhythm is nothing ♪
631
00:25:29,345 --> 00:25:31,780
♪ you go with the flow,
you don't stop ♪
632
00:25:31,848 --> 00:25:32,648
♪ hmm ♪
633
00:25:37,387 --> 00:25:39,554
♪ it's as common as something
that nobody knows ♪
634
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,924
♪ that her beauty will follow
wherever she goes ♪
635
00:25:41,991 --> 00:25:43,992
♪ up the hill
in the back of her house ♪
636
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:46,528
♪ in the wood, she'll love me
forever, I know ♪
637
00:25:46,596 --> 00:25:50,165
♪ she la, da, da, da, da, da ♪
638
00:25:50,233 --> 00:25:53,502
♪ la, da, da, da, da, da, da,
la... ♪
639
00:25:57,273 --> 00:25:59,308
♪ if you would only listen ♪
640
00:25:59,375 --> 00:26:01,343
♪ you might just realize
what you're missing ♪
641
00:26:01,411 --> 00:26:02,778
♪ you're missing me ♪
642
00:26:07,350 --> 00:26:10,018
♪ it's as simple as something
that nobody knows ♪
643
00:26:10,086 --> 00:26:12,487
♪ that her eyes are as big
as her bubbly toes ♪
644
00:26:12,555 --> 00:26:15,791
♪ on the feet of a queen
of the hearts of the cards ♪
645
00:26:15,858 --> 00:26:17,793
♪ he feet are infested
with tar balls ♪
646
00:26:17,860 --> 00:26:20,796
♪ and la, da, da, da, da, da ♪
647
00:26:20,863 --> 00:26:23,532
♪ la, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
648
00:26:23,599 --> 00:26:25,167
♪ la, da, da, da, da, da ♪
649
00:26:25,234 --> 00:26:28,603
♪ la, da, da, da, da, da, da,
da... ♪
650
00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:30,339
(Cheering)
651
00:26:30,406 --> 00:26:32,174
Bravo!
Whoo!
652
00:26:32,241 --> 00:26:33,575
Yeah!
653
00:26:33,643 --> 00:26:35,043
(Gagging)
654
00:26:35,111 --> 00:26:36,812
That was all kinds of awesome.
Yeah!
655
00:26:36,879 --> 00:26:38,947
(All cheering)
656
00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:41,116
Terrific job, Mike.
Whoo!
657
00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:43,285
Hey, sounds like the heckling
club loved our refreshments.
658
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:45,087
Yeah, but we're almost
out of that Taffy.
659
00:26:45,154 --> 00:26:46,455
How are we going to keep them
660
00:26:46,522 --> 00:26:47,889
from going after us again
after the intermission?
661
00:26:47,957 --> 00:26:49,891
By being so good
that they can't heckle us.
662
00:26:49,959 --> 00:26:51,193
And I know just
the person for the job.
663
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:53,562
W-where's Mercedes?
664
00:26:53,629 --> 00:26:55,831
She's up.
(Door closes)
665
00:26:55,898 --> 00:26:57,666
I'm sorry.
Ms. Jones has not appreciated
666
00:26:57,734 --> 00:26:58,867
the way she's been treated
667
00:26:58,935 --> 00:27:00,469
and is refusing to go on.
668
00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:02,604
(Sighs)
Let me talk to her.
669
00:27:02,672 --> 00:27:06,575
Don't bother. Mercedes
has left the building.
670
00:27:07,977 --> 00:27:09,511
Okay, you guys,
go find Mercedes.
671
00:27:09,579 --> 00:27:11,279
I'm gonna go deal
with the haters.
672
00:27:17,254 --> 00:27:18,554
Are we in trouble?
673
00:27:18,622 --> 00:27:19,989
Oh, no. Not at all.
674
00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:22,058
I was just taking the
opportunity of intermission
675
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:23,860
to tell you guys
what great hecklers you are.
676
00:27:23,927 --> 00:27:26,195
You must practice a lot.
677
00:27:26,263 --> 00:27:28,764
No, not that much.
Just on the Internet only.
678
00:27:28,832 --> 00:27:32,435
You know, my posts on NCIS and
CSI: Miami chat rooms are legendary.
679
00:27:32,503 --> 00:27:34,103
You're kidding.
I've never seen you on there.
680
00:27:34,171 --> 00:27:38,541
You wouldn't. Because I post as
"ncisucks" or "ncistupid."
681
00:27:38,609 --> 00:27:42,211
I'm "the Beckster" on the
entertainment weekly chatrooms.
682
00:27:42,279 --> 00:27:44,647
And my "curlyhairincairo"
Twitter account
683
00:27:44,715 --> 00:27:46,015
helped bring down Mubarak.
684
00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:49,919
Technology has allowed us
to be brutally cruel
685
00:27:49,987 --> 00:27:51,354
without suffering
any consequences.
686
00:27:51,421 --> 00:27:53,356
In the past, if I wanted to tell
someone they sucked,
687
00:27:53,423 --> 00:27:54,757
I'd have to say it
to their face,
688
00:27:54,825 --> 00:27:56,459
which would usually result
689
00:27:56,527 --> 00:27:58,094
in them kicking
me in the groin.
690
00:27:58,161 --> 00:28:01,130
I get it. We live
in a culture of insults.
691
00:28:01,198 --> 00:28:03,633
I mean, we're constantly
bombarded with these
692
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:07,103
images of people who are richer
than us, and happier than us,
693
00:28:07,170 --> 00:28:09,972
and have more interesting sex than us,
and it makes us feel terrible.
694
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,440
Preach.
695
00:28:11,508 --> 00:28:14,143
You know, we tear them down
to feel better about ourselves.
696
00:28:14,211 --> 00:28:16,178
And we don't just stop
with the people who are on TV
697
00:28:16,246 --> 00:28:17,813
or in magazines,
we do it to everybody.
698
00:28:17,881 --> 00:28:20,616
And we think that because
it's done anonymously,
699
00:28:20,684 --> 00:28:23,686
there are no ramifications.
700
00:28:23,754 --> 00:28:25,888
But there are ramifications,
guys.
701
00:28:25,956 --> 00:28:28,824
Because it makes you comfortable
with insensitivity.
702
00:28:28,892 --> 00:28:31,127
Do you know that one of
the girls you heckled tonight
703
00:28:31,194 --> 00:28:33,229
has been crying for an hour?
704
00:28:35,098 --> 00:28:36,666
Are you saying
you never ragged on anybody?
705
00:28:36,733 --> 00:28:38,935
Oh, of course I did.
I spent three years
706
00:28:39,002 --> 00:28:40,703
sending hate mail
to Debbie Gibson
707
00:28:40,771 --> 00:28:42,638
until she wrote
me back and said
708
00:28:42,706 --> 00:28:44,774
that the stress of my letters
was giving her alopecia.
709
00:28:44,841 --> 00:28:46,042
And then I felt terrible
710
00:28:46,109 --> 00:28:48,377
because I realized
it was just my jealousy
711
00:28:48,445 --> 00:28:51,347
that she could fill a mall
with her adoring fans.
712
00:28:51,415 --> 00:28:52,815
You guys are great kids.
713
00:28:52,883 --> 00:28:56,552
Some of those insults were rad.
714
00:28:56,620 --> 00:28:59,455
But just think about how
you could lift up the world
715
00:28:59,523 --> 00:29:01,557
if you turned some
of those barbs into roses.
716
00:29:01,625 --> 00:29:04,427
I mean, intermission's almost
over. Why don't you get back
717
00:29:04,494 --> 00:29:07,563
in there and turn some of that
jeering into cheering?
718
00:29:09,566 --> 00:29:12,034
Na, no. I think
I'm just going to go home,
719
00:29:12,102 --> 00:29:15,304
probably do a new post about
how handsome Mark Harmon is.
720
00:29:15,372 --> 00:29:16,839
Me, too. I'm out.
721
00:29:18,208 --> 00:29:19,375
I'm splitting, too.
722
00:29:19,443 --> 00:29:21,444
They say, "If you have nothing
nice to say..."
723
00:29:24,348 --> 00:29:26,148
I'll be 18 in three years.
724
00:29:26,216 --> 00:29:27,583
Wait for me?
725
00:29:28,785 --> 00:29:30,720
Let me in. Let me in.
726
00:29:30,787 --> 00:29:32,622
Come on. It's raining.
727
00:29:34,191 --> 00:29:36,292
We've all been looking for you.
728
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,961
Don't bother with the pep talk.
I'm not going back in there.
729
00:29:39,029 --> 00:29:40,329
My demands were not met.
730
00:29:40,397 --> 00:29:42,231
Have you ever read anything
about Aretha Franklin?
731
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,834
She was a Gospel singer.
732
00:29:44,901 --> 00:29:47,703
And one day, she went
to this-this show.
733
00:29:47,771 --> 00:29:50,106
Nothing fancy. It was
just, like, a state fair.
734
00:29:50,173 --> 00:29:51,741
And the Master of Ceremonies
735
00:29:51,808 --> 00:29:54,910
hands her a tiara and calls
her the "Queen of Soul".
736
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:58,414
And that's
how she earned her crown.
737
00:29:58,482 --> 00:30:00,616
That's how she gained
all of her respect.
738
00:30:00,684 --> 00:30:03,419
Not by-by requesting
for special pillows,
739
00:30:03,487 --> 00:30:05,621
or-or food, but...
740
00:30:05,689 --> 00:30:08,290
For doing what she does best:
Singing.
741
00:30:08,358 --> 00:30:10,960
I just don't get it.
742
00:30:11,028 --> 00:30:12,828
Why are you
a bigger star than me?
743
00:30:14,164 --> 00:30:16,799
You always get the big solos,
744
00:30:16,867 --> 00:30:19,435
the best songs,
the moments in the sun.
745
00:30:19,503 --> 00:30:22,138
Why is it never me?
746
00:30:22,205 --> 00:30:24,674
I don't know.
747
00:30:26,743 --> 00:30:29,378
I mean, you're just as good
of a singer as I am.
748
00:30:29,446 --> 00:30:31,147
Yeah.
And everyone actually likes me.
749
00:30:31,214 --> 00:30:32,481
That's your problem.
750
00:30:32,549 --> 00:30:34,950
Because I would rather
be a star than be liked.
751
00:30:35,018 --> 00:30:36,318
And-and...
752
00:30:36,386 --> 00:30:38,354
I'm not saying
that it's healthy,
753
00:30:38,422 --> 00:30:40,289
and I'm not saying that it's
better than being loved,
754
00:30:40,357 --> 00:30:43,225
but there's nothing...
755
00:30:43,293 --> 00:30:45,327
nothing... that I wouldn't do
756
00:30:45,395 --> 00:30:47,396
for the chance
to be in the spotlight.
757
00:30:47,464 --> 00:30:48,964
I just...
758
00:30:49,032 --> 00:30:51,867
Really wanted that closing slot.
759
00:30:51,935 --> 00:30:54,804
Well, if you want
that closing slot,
760
00:30:54,871 --> 00:30:59,175
then go in there
and take it from me.
761
00:31:02,612 --> 00:31:05,381
Where is everybody?
Let's get on with it.
762
00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:07,516
You're a really horrible
person, you know that?
763
00:31:07,584 --> 00:31:10,653
You sound like my
court-appointed therapist.
764
00:31:10,721 --> 00:31:13,589
Pink Dagger, I'm going to need
to speak with you right now.
765
00:31:13,657 --> 00:31:14,924
Yes, General.
766
00:31:14,991 --> 00:31:17,259
You know, I had a feeling
you might be behind this.
767
00:31:17,327 --> 00:31:19,562
You have no proof.
768
00:31:19,629 --> 00:31:22,098
(Sighs)
769
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:24,366
Sam:
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
770
00:31:24,434 --> 00:31:26,869
miss Holly Holliday.
771
00:31:26,937 --> 00:31:28,704
(Adele's "Turning Tables"
begins)
772
00:31:39,116 --> 00:31:44,587
♪ Close enough to start a war ♪
773
00:31:44,654 --> 00:31:49,458
♪ all that I have
is on the floor ♪
774
00:31:52,129 --> 00:31:56,766
♪ God only knows
what we're fighting for ♪
775
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:59,335
♪ all that I say ♪
776
00:31:59,402 --> 00:32:03,973
♪ you always say more ♪
777
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,778
♪ I can't keep up
with your turning tables ♪
778
00:32:08,845 --> 00:32:10,946
♪ under your thumb ♪
779
00:32:11,014 --> 00:32:16,152
♪ I can't breathe ♪
780
00:32:16,219 --> 00:32:21,390
♪ so I won't let you close
enough to hurt me ♪
781
00:32:21,458 --> 00:32:24,693
♪ no, I won't ask you ♪
782
00:32:24,761 --> 00:32:27,263
♪ you to just desert me ♪
783
00:32:27,330 --> 00:32:30,933
♪ I can't give you ♪
784
00:32:31,001 --> 00:32:34,003
♪ what you think you gave me ♪
785
00:32:34,070 --> 00:32:37,706
♪ it's time to say good-bye ♪
786
00:32:37,774 --> 00:32:42,211
♪ to turning tables ♪
787
00:32:44,481 --> 00:32:51,153
♪ to turning tables ♪
788
00:32:51,221 --> 00:32:54,723
♪ next time, I'll be braver ♪
789
00:32:54,791 --> 00:32:57,293
♪ I'll be my own savior ♪
790
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:03,599
♪ when the thunder
calls for me ♪
791
00:33:03,667 --> 00:33:06,569
♪ next time I'll be braver ♪
792
00:33:06,636 --> 00:33:09,672
♪ I'll be my own savior ♪
793
00:33:09,739 --> 00:33:16,145
♪ standing on my own two feet ♪
794
00:33:16,213 --> 00:33:20,282
♪ I won't let you ♪
795
00:33:20,350 --> 00:33:22,651
♪ close enough to hurt me ♪
796
00:33:22,719 --> 00:33:26,922
♪ no, I won't ask you ♪
797
00:33:26,990 --> 00:33:28,657
♪ you to just desert me ♪
798
00:33:28,725 --> 00:33:32,695
♪ I can't give you ♪
799
00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,097
♪ what you think you gave me ♪
800
00:33:35,165 --> 00:33:39,568
♪ it's time to say good-bye ♪
801
00:33:39,636 --> 00:33:44,073
♪ to turning tables ♪
802
00:33:45,575 --> 00:33:51,814
♪ to turning tables ♪
803
00:33:51,882 --> 00:33:54,884
♪ turning tables ♪
804
00:33:54,951 --> 00:33:58,087
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
805
00:33:58,154 --> 00:33:59,688
♪ turning ♪
806
00:33:59,756 --> 00:34:04,860
♪ yeah... ♪
807
00:34:17,417 --> 00:34:18,751
I'm a fantastic super villain.
808
00:34:18,819 --> 00:34:20,686
Sandy, I just saw
Jacob Ben Israel, Azimio
809
00:34:20,754 --> 00:34:23,756
and Becky Jackson leave the
benefit they were supposed to be
810
00:34:23,824 --> 00:34:26,726
ruining together in a car with
the license plate "JEWFRO."
811
00:34:26,793 --> 00:34:28,461
I lost track of 'em.
812
00:34:28,528 --> 00:34:31,364
I went into the bathroom,
when I came out, they were gone.
813
00:34:31,431 --> 00:34:33,232
I was applying
a light coat of powder
814
00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:34,500
and practicing catch phrases
815
00:34:34,568 --> 00:34:36,902
to use when I really
take someone down a peg.
816
00:34:36,970 --> 00:34:38,704
Like?
817
00:34:38,772 --> 00:34:41,273
You just got poked.
818
00:34:41,341 --> 00:34:43,576
Poked by the Dagger!
819
00:34:45,145 --> 00:34:47,413
Your job was to
crush their spirit,
820
00:34:47,481 --> 00:34:49,615
and had you done
that, they would have
821
00:34:49,683 --> 00:34:50,983
closed up shop by intermission.
822
00:34:51,051 --> 00:34:53,052
Now get back in
there and question
823
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,554
the whole purpose
of arts education.
824
00:34:55,622 --> 00:34:57,123
I'm getting back in there.
825
00:34:57,190 --> 00:35:00,760
That Glee Club's not
gonna know what hit 'em!
826
00:35:00,827 --> 00:35:02,862
I tried,
but I don't think she's coming.
827
00:35:02,929 --> 00:35:05,831
I need to start warming up.
828
00:35:05,899 --> 00:35:07,500
Lauren, you're her manager.
829
00:35:07,567 --> 00:35:09,135
Why don't you do something?
830
00:35:09,202 --> 00:35:11,837
See, my client, Ms. Jones,
is not picking up her phone.
831
00:35:11,905 --> 00:35:13,105
Oh.
So... (Clears throat)
832
00:35:13,173 --> 00:35:14,640
Miss Jones is fine.
833
00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:17,476
Wait. Shouldn't one of us
be carrying you in?
834
00:35:17,544 --> 00:35:18,978
(Scoffs)
835
00:35:19,046 --> 00:35:21,447
I have only one more demand.
836
00:35:21,515 --> 00:35:23,883
I demand
837
00:35:23,950 --> 00:35:27,253
that all of you get your butts
out there and watch me sing.
838
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,287
(Cheering, overlapping chatter)
839
00:35:28,355 --> 00:35:29,588
Hallelujah!
840
00:35:29,656 --> 00:35:30,923
You heard the woman.
Let's go.
841
00:35:30,991 --> 00:35:32,491
(Overlapping chatter)
842
00:35:32,559 --> 00:35:36,495
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Ms. Mercedes Jones.
843
00:35:36,563 --> 00:35:38,330
(Aretha Franklin's
"Ain't No Way" begins)
844
00:35:45,505 --> 00:35:47,506
Oh, dear God, I love this song.
845
00:35:49,443 --> 00:35:52,478
♪ Ain't no way ♪
846
00:35:54,347 --> 00:35:59,185
♪ for me to love you ♪
847
00:35:59,252 --> 00:36:07,159
♪ if you won't let me ♪
848
00:36:07,227 --> 00:36:09,862
♪ oh, no ♪
849
00:36:09,930 --> 00:36:15,267
♪ I know that a woman's duty ♪
850
00:36:15,335 --> 00:36:20,339
♪ is to help and love a man ♪
851
00:36:20,407 --> 00:36:26,712
♪ and that's the way
it was planned ♪
852
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:28,848
♪ oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
853
00:36:28,915 --> 00:36:31,917
♪ it ain't no way ♪
854
00:36:31,985 --> 00:36:35,888
♪ ain't no way ♪
855
00:36:35,956 --> 00:36:38,757
♪ it ain't no way ♪
856
00:36:38,825 --> 00:36:42,027
♪ ain't no way ♪
857
00:36:42,095 --> 00:36:45,531
♪ it just ain't no way, baby ♪
858
00:36:45,599 --> 00:36:47,700
♪ ain't no way ♪
859
00:36:47,767 --> 00:36:50,603
♪ ain't no way, baby ♪
860
00:36:50,670 --> 00:36:52,271
♪ ain't no way ♪
861
00:36:52,339 --> 00:36:57,610
♪ it ain't no way ♪
862
00:36:57,677 --> 00:37:01,514
♪ for me to love you ♪
863
00:37:01,581 --> 00:37:02,748
♪ ooh... ♪
864
00:37:02,816 --> 00:37:09,555
♪ if you won't let me ♪
865
00:37:13,793 --> 00:37:22,535
♪ stop trying to be
someone you're not ♪
866
00:37:22,602 --> 00:37:26,872
♪ and if you need me ♪
867
00:37:26,940 --> 00:37:28,440
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ to love you ♪
868
00:37:28,508 --> 00:37:29,708
♪ say ♪
♪ say ♪
869
00:37:29,776 --> 00:37:31,177
♪ say, say ♪
♪ say ♪
870
00:37:31,244 --> 00:37:32,978
♪ you do ♪
♪ you do ♪
871
00:37:33,046 --> 00:37:36,582
♪ oh, then baby, baby, baby ♪
872
00:37:36,650 --> 00:37:43,689
♪ don't you know
that I need you? ♪
873
00:37:43,757 --> 00:37:46,058
♪ ain't no way ♪
874
00:37:46,126 --> 00:37:48,060
♪ ain't no way ♪
875
00:37:48,128 --> 00:37:51,330
♪ I tell you that it ain't
no way, it ain't no way ♪
876
00:37:51,398 --> 00:37:53,098
♪ it ain't no way, baby ♪
877
00:37:53,166 --> 00:37:54,567
♪ no ♪
878
00:37:54,634 --> 00:37:55,935
♪ ain't no way ♪
879
00:37:56,002 --> 00:37:58,938
♪ it just ain't no way ♪
880
00:37:59,005 --> 00:38:00,839
♪ ain't no way ♪
881
00:38:00,907 --> 00:38:05,044
♪ it sure ain't no way ♪
882
00:38:05,111 --> 00:38:06,445
♪ ain't no way ♪
883
00:38:06,513 --> 00:38:11,016
♪ it ain't no way ♪
884
00:38:11,084 --> 00:38:15,588
♪ for me to love you ♪
885
00:38:17,991 --> 00:38:21,994
♪ if you won't ♪
886
00:38:22,062 --> 00:38:27,933
♪ let me. ♪
887
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,535
(Song ends)
888
00:38:29,603 --> 00:38:31,637
(Applause and cheering)
889
00:38:37,277 --> 00:38:38,877
(Applause, cheering
and shouting)
890
00:38:38,945 --> 00:38:40,846
Oh.
891
00:38:40,914 --> 00:38:42,948
All right, girl,
time for the closing number.
892
00:38:43,016 --> 00:38:44,283
Go bring the house down.
893
00:38:44,351 --> 00:38:46,285
Are you kidding me?
894
00:38:46,353 --> 00:38:47,987
Nobody could follow that.
895
00:38:48,054 --> 00:38:50,422
Okay, the house has been
brought down.
896
00:38:50,490 --> 00:38:52,558
That was the closing number.
897
00:38:56,263 --> 00:38:58,564
(Speaking French)
898
00:38:58,632 --> 00:39:00,532
Bye. Hey, hot stuff.
899
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,035
Hey.
How are the kids doing?
900
00:39:03,103 --> 00:39:05,237
They were amazeballs tonight, right?
Yeah, they're good.
901
00:39:05,305 --> 00:39:08,073
Everyone's in the choir room,
and they all want to thank you
902
00:39:08,141 --> 00:39:10,409
for helping out with the benefit
and the hecklers and...
903
00:39:10,477 --> 00:39:13,145
Why were you in the janitor's
closet with the door closed?
904
00:39:13,213 --> 00:39:14,446
Okay, 'cause I'm a sub,
905
00:39:14,514 --> 00:39:16,382
and that's the office
that Figgins gives me.
906
00:39:16,449 --> 00:39:18,317
Guess what?
907
00:39:18,385 --> 00:39:21,253
I just got offered a job
to teach French in Cleveland.
908
00:39:21,321 --> 00:39:23,489
Isn't that great?
909
00:39:23,556 --> 00:39:25,658
Full time?
910
00:39:25,725 --> 00:39:27,993
No. Who are you talking to?
Four months, tops.
911
00:39:28,061 --> 00:39:30,763
Don't you have any feelings
about leaving?
912
00:39:30,830 --> 00:39:32,731
Didn't you listen to my song?
913
00:39:32,799 --> 00:39:33,966
I told you, Will.
914
00:39:34,034 --> 00:39:35,401
I live the glamorous life
915
00:39:35,468 --> 00:39:37,169
of a substitute teacher,
916
00:39:37,237 --> 00:39:38,871
and I'm deathly allergic
to commitment.
917
00:39:38,938 --> 00:39:41,173
You knew that this
was going to end this way.
918
00:39:43,410 --> 00:39:45,944
Yeah.
919
00:39:46,012 --> 00:39:47,913
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
920
00:39:47,981 --> 00:39:49,948
You're too nice for me.
921
00:39:50,016 --> 00:39:51,784
But you broke my record.
922
00:39:51,851 --> 00:39:53,419
Five dates.
923
00:39:53,486 --> 00:39:54,853
Are you counting that one
924
00:39:54,921 --> 00:39:56,588
we had in the janitor's
closet yesterday?
925
00:39:56,656 --> 00:39:58,924
That was my favorite one.
926
00:39:58,992 --> 00:40:00,893
Mine, too.
927
00:40:02,996 --> 00:40:05,898
You think
you're ever gonna settle down?
928
00:40:05,965 --> 00:40:08,100
Maybe.
929
00:40:10,637 --> 00:40:12,471
But not with you.
930
00:40:15,542 --> 00:40:17,910
You're in love
with somebody else,
931
00:40:17,977 --> 00:40:20,713
and thanks to my counseling,
she's available now.
932
00:40:31,091 --> 00:40:35,227
And by the way,
she's totally into you, too.
933
00:40:35,295 --> 00:40:37,129
Holly?
934
00:40:39,733 --> 00:40:42,234
Will you come back and visit?
935
00:40:42,302 --> 00:40:44,370
(Sighs)
936
00:40:44,437 --> 00:40:46,972
(Voice breaking):
I thought you'd never ask.
937
00:40:50,377 --> 00:40:52,244
(Sighs)
938
00:40:57,984 --> 00:41:00,352
(Sighs)
939
00:41:04,591 --> 00:41:07,025
Sandy, what are
you doing in here?
940
00:41:07,093 --> 00:41:10,028
I tried to be a hater,
but I just couldn't do it.
941
00:41:10,096 --> 00:41:12,798
That song and the weed
I smoked immediately prior...
942
00:41:12,866 --> 00:41:14,433
it gave me
943
00:41:14,501 --> 00:41:15,868
a change of heart.
944
00:41:15,935 --> 00:41:17,903
Mr. Ryerson offered
to pay for our trip.
945
00:41:17,971 --> 00:41:19,972
(Whooping)
Bring it!
946
00:41:20,039 --> 00:41:21,907
It's drug money, but you know,
947
00:41:21,975 --> 00:41:24,243
it's actually a fantastic way
to launder it.
948
00:41:25,678 --> 00:41:27,880
Good-bye, William.
949
00:41:27,947 --> 00:41:30,215
I miss the arts, I really do.
950
00:41:35,088 --> 00:41:37,556
You just got poked.
951
00:41:37,624 --> 00:41:39,358
Poked by the Dagger!
952
00:41:40,593 --> 00:41:43,262
(Applause and cheering)
953
00:41:43,329 --> 00:41:45,164
All (Chanting):
Detroit! Detroit! Detroit!
954
00:41:45,231 --> 00:41:46,932
Detroit! Detroit! Detroit!
955
00:41:48,134 --> 00:41:50,702
This is a disaster.
956
00:41:50,770 --> 00:41:53,405
Pink Dagger, not
only did you fail
957
00:41:53,473 --> 00:41:55,207
to disrupt the
Night of Neglect.
958
00:41:55,275 --> 00:41:56,642
You funded it in full.
959
00:41:56,709 --> 00:41:59,111
In fact,
you were its only donor.
960
00:41:59,179 --> 00:42:00,879
Aretha is my kryptonite.
961
00:42:00,947 --> 00:42:02,114
Sergeant Handsome,
962
00:42:02,182 --> 00:42:04,583
what do you have
to say for yourself?
963
00:42:04,651 --> 00:42:07,719
Hey, I did get them to break up.
Who knew it was gonna be
964
00:42:07,787 --> 00:42:10,289
amicable, and sort of have
nothing to do with me? I pulled
965
00:42:10,356 --> 00:42:13,258
Sunshine out of the benefit.
Don't I get credit for that?
966
00:42:13,326 --> 00:42:17,095
No. In my hour of need,
Honey Badger, I turn to you.
967
00:42:17,163 --> 00:42:18,597
Your time has come.
968
00:42:21,167 --> 00:42:23,368
(Applause)
969
00:42:23,436 --> 00:42:26,472
Well, at the end of regulation,
we're all tied up.
970
00:42:26,539 --> 00:42:28,240
Excuse me, Mr. Remington?
971
00:42:28,308 --> 00:42:31,276
We would just like to say "Hi."
to our friends in Glee Club.
972
00:42:31,344 --> 00:42:32,511
We love you guys.
Love you.
973
00:42:32,579 --> 00:42:33,412
And now...
Love you.
974
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,681
The tie-breaker question.
975
00:42:35,748 --> 00:42:38,150
The category: "Hermaphrodite
Nazi Sympathizers."
976
00:42:38,218 --> 00:42:41,587
Synced by yescool
Corrected by jabbberwock, jctumang
www.addic7ed.com