1 00:00:02,299 --> 00:00:04,467 NARRATOR: Kids, this is a story of landmarks. 2 00:00:04,918 --> 00:00:06,652 There are certain moments in life when you have to decide 3 00:00:06,653 --> 00:00:08,921 which things you can stand to see torn down, 4 00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,824 and which things you have to preserve, no matter what. 5 00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:14,059 Such a moment came for all of us 6 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:17,630 in May of 2011, at a special meeting of the 7 00:00:17,631 --> 00:00:19,231 New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission, 8 00:00:19,232 --> 00:00:20,265 where the fate of The Arcadian 9 00:00:20,266 --> 00:00:21,767 would be decided once and for all. 10 00:00:21,768 --> 00:00:25,237 A symbol of strength and constancy, 11 00:00:25,238 --> 00:00:26,705 the stone lion of The Arcadian 12 00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:29,441 has watched over New Yorkers for generations. 13 00:00:29,442 --> 00:00:30,609 So remember: 14 00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:34,079 if the lion head stonework is regal, 15 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,217 then tearing it down should be illegal. 16 00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:40,085 (cheering) MARSHALL: Well... 17 00:00:40,086 --> 00:00:42,054 Did you like that? All right, uh... 18 00:00:42,055 --> 00:00:45,257 We must make sure the lion is always there. 19 00:00:45,258 --> 00:00:49,962 Destroy The Arcadian? Oh, no, don't you dare. 20 00:00:53,016 --> 00:00:54,800 Yeah? Yeah? Okay. 21 00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:56,168 Try this one on for size... 22 00:00:56,169 --> 00:00:59,705 If you want New York's history at your beck and call... 23 00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:01,674 All right, thank you, Mr. Eriksen. 24 00:01:01,675 --> 00:01:02,992 I just have... 25 00:01:05,612 --> 00:01:08,864 MODERATOR: We will now hear from the architect 26 00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:10,616 of the proposed GNB Tower, 27 00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:13,118 Ted Mosby. 28 00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:15,888 (audience cheering) MODERATOR: Now, uh, 29 00:01:15,889 --> 00:01:18,590 Mr. Mosby, let's just cut right to the chase. 30 00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:21,260 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 31 00:01:21,261 --> 00:01:25,297 (intense music starts and swells) 32 00:01:25,322 --> 00:01:30,872 (music cuts off) 33 00:01:32,054 --> 00:01:35,390 Okay, it's killing me. What rhymes with "beck and call?" 34 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,576 Wrecking ball. 35 00:01:37,577 --> 00:01:39,445 Don't go swinging no wrecking ball. 36 00:01:39,446 --> 00:01:42,197 AUDIENCE: Ah... 37 00:01:42,198 --> 00:01:44,016 Thank you. 38 00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:48,181 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x23 ♪ Landmarks Original Air Date on May 9, 2011 39 00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:52,206 == sync, corrected by elderman == 40 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,098 Mr. Mosby, 41 00:02:00,099 --> 00:02:02,701 do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 42 00:02:02,702 --> 00:02:04,035 It's not a difficult question. 43 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,171 NARRATOR: Actually, it was a difficult question. 44 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,573 Of course, had he asked me a few days earlier, 45 00:02:08,574 --> 00:02:10,508 I would have immediately said... 46 00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:13,395 "Yes. The Arcadian should be a landmark." 47 00:02:13,396 --> 00:02:15,780 And then the crowd gasps: "Oh, my God! 48 00:02:15,781 --> 00:02:17,115 "Did he really just say that? 49 00:02:17,116 --> 00:02:18,383 "Oh, heavens! 50 00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:19,618 "Oh, my stars! 51 00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:21,486 I must clutch my pearls!" 52 00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:24,723 So these things are generally attended by old Southern ladies? 53 00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,791 Almost exclusively. But here's my point: 54 00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:30,495 If they ask GNB's chief architect-- aka me-- 55 00:02:30,496 --> 00:02:33,665 if The Arcadian should be a landmark, and I say "yes"? 56 00:02:33,666 --> 00:02:35,467 (mimes building blowing up) 57 00:02:36,602 --> 00:02:38,937 That, no, that wasn't The Arcadian being destroyed; 58 00:02:38,938 --> 00:02:41,089 that was GNB's hopes of destroying The Arcadian. 59 00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:42,311 I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. 60 00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:43,142 Yeah. 61 00:02:43,150 --> 00:02:45,050 The Arcadian's gonna be all like... 62 00:02:45,745 --> 00:02:47,712 Nice. (chuckles) 63 00:02:47,713 --> 00:02:49,314 I have a message from Barney. 64 00:02:49,315 --> 00:02:50,815 NARRATOR: Things between Barney 65 00:02:50,816 --> 00:02:53,885 and the rest of us had gotten a little frosty. 66 00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:55,553 First this happened. 67 00:02:55,554 --> 00:02:59,291 Meet the new lawyer I hired to help save The Arcadian. 68 00:03:00,225 --> 00:03:01,426 And then this happened. 69 00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:03,328 What kind of dirtbag 70 00:03:03,329 --> 00:03:06,264 doesn't stand by his best friends, but instead, 71 00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:08,967 sides with some self-righteous bitch 72 00:03:08,968 --> 00:03:11,153 with a pointless cause and a megaphone?! 73 00:03:11,237 --> 00:03:13,171 TED: Dude! That's my girlfriend. 74 00:03:13,572 --> 00:03:15,206 And ya know what? 75 00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:18,143 I'm on her side now, too. 76 00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:19,844 NARRATOR: Which led to this happening. 77 00:03:19,845 --> 00:03:21,846 Message from Barney? That's my cue to leave. 78 00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:23,231 Good night, guys. 79 00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:25,517 - I love you. - Mmm. Love you, too. 80 00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:26,985 Good night. Good night. 81 00:03:26,986 --> 00:03:28,153 All right, what's the message? 82 00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:29,421 'Cause if it's another hypothetical 83 00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:32,023 yet eerily accurate drawing of my boobs... 84 00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:35,393 Yeah, I have that, too. 85 00:03:36,262 --> 00:03:37,796 Damn it. 86 00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:40,565 All right, here's the message. (clears throat) 87 00:03:40,566 --> 00:03:43,134 "Oh, hey, guys. Didn't see you there. 88 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,770 "I was too busy feelin' fine and..." 89 00:03:45,771 --> 00:03:47,739 Really? 90 00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:54,245 (sighs) "Feelin' fine and gettin' some 'jine." 91 00:03:55,348 --> 00:03:57,515 ROBIN: "You may have noticed the giant plate 92 00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:59,467 "of hot wings in front of me. 93 00:03:59,468 --> 00:04:01,419 "I know how much you love hot wings. 94 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,121 "Too bad someone bribed the kitchen 95 00:04:03,122 --> 00:04:05,056 "to take them off the menu tonight. 96 00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:06,341 "So, if you want some, 97 00:04:06,342 --> 00:04:09,728 "you're going to have to come back to GNB. 98 00:04:09,729 --> 00:04:11,162 "But hurry, this offer 99 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,631 will be gone lickety-split." 100 00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:20,071 "Do evil laugh." 101 00:04:20,072 --> 00:04:21,373 Oh, um... 102 00:04:21,374 --> 00:04:24,709 (meek impression of Barney's laugh) (silent laugh) 103 00:04:25,811 --> 00:04:26,995 So, what are you turds up to? 104 00:04:26,996 --> 00:04:30,015 Oh, we've got the big LPC meeting in two days. 105 00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:31,649 I have my whole presentation worked out. 106 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:34,052 I just need to find a good rhyme to end on. 107 00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:35,120 Why does it need to rhyme? 108 00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:36,120 Mm. 109 00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:38,690 If you end an argument with a rhyme, 110 00:04:38,984 --> 00:04:40,924 it's convincing all the time. - Yeah. 111 00:04:40,926 --> 00:04:42,327 It's why in our apartment: 112 00:04:42,328 --> 00:04:44,329 If you're a-hopin' to score, 113 00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:46,231 don't leave your socks on the floor. 114 00:04:46,232 --> 00:04:48,066 And she hasn't since. No. 115 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,068 Okay, okay. A couple of things. 116 00:04:50,069 --> 00:04:51,703 Lily, how'd I do? Nailed it. 117 00:04:51,704 --> 00:04:52,721 (dry chuckle) 118 00:04:52,722 --> 00:04:54,039 Secondly, Ted, 119 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,990 I'm sorry I said mean things about Zoey. 120 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,676 Are you really going to walk away from this project 121 00:04:58,677 --> 00:04:59,878 just because you're mad at me? 122 00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:01,913 It's not because I'm mad at you. 123 00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:04,182 Barney, The Arcadian was designed 124 00:05:04,183 --> 00:05:05,717 by a guy named John Clifford Larrabee. 125 00:05:05,718 --> 00:05:07,685 And even though he's been dead for half a century, 126 00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:10,038 it's my duty, architect to architect, 127 00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:11,156 to keep his work alive. 128 00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:14,059 Please tell me a little part of you understands. 129 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,261 I understand. 130 00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:19,731 Zoey has magic lady bits. What? 131 00:05:19,732 --> 00:05:21,866 Zoey's lady bits... 132 00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:24,702 are magic, and that's how she controls your mind. 133 00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:27,238 You see, every few hundred millennia, 134 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,340 lady bits leap forward... I know 135 00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:30,575 you're only just getting started, 136 00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:32,444 but this is already gross. 137 00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:35,180 I once knew such a girl. 138 00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:37,549 BARNEY: It was last call. 139 00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:38,850 In this very bar. 140 00:05:42,488 --> 00:05:45,223 What...?! 141 00:05:45,224 --> 00:05:47,892 No... 142 00:05:47,893 --> 00:05:50,628 What?! 143 00:05:50,629 --> 00:05:52,797 No... 144 00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:55,366 What?! 145 00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,502 Um... 146 00:05:57,503 --> 00:06:01,706 thank you for, um, not using a first name in that story. 147 00:06:03,943 --> 00:06:06,744 Barney, this is about the building. 148 00:06:06,745 --> 00:06:08,980 Come on. This is so about the girl. 149 00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:11,449 Okay, fine. It's about the girl! 150 00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:13,551 I am doing this for Zoey! 151 00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:14,886 I'm in love with her. 152 00:06:14,887 --> 00:06:18,323 Look, I know it's early, but there's a very good chance 153 00:06:18,324 --> 00:06:20,308 Zoey might be the mother of my children. 154 00:06:20,309 --> 00:06:23,128 So, in addition to doing this for John Clifford Larrabee, 155 00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:25,146 I'm also doing this for Luke and Leia. 156 00:06:25,147 --> 00:06:28,066 Wait. She's gonna let you name your kids Luke and Leia? 157 00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:30,034 Not if I knock down her favorite building, she isn't. 158 00:06:30,035 --> 00:06:31,435 Barney, I'm sorry. 159 00:06:31,436 --> 00:06:33,822 Oh, you're not sorry now, Ted Mosby. 160 00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:35,607 But you will be. 161 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:39,711 You... will... be. 162 00:06:39,712 --> 00:06:43,748 (evil laugh) 163 00:06:43,749 --> 00:06:45,783 (laughing harder and louder) 164 00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:47,268 That's how you do an evil laugh. 165 00:06:47,269 --> 00:06:49,053 Ciao for now. 166 00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,190 NARRATOR: Now, kids, you remember Arthur Hobbs, 167 00:06:52,191 --> 00:06:54,559 Barney and Marshall's old boss at GNB? 168 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,928 Well, Arthur was going through a divorce and taking it 169 00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:58,196 kind of hard. Hi, Arthur. 170 00:06:58,197 --> 00:07:00,698 (sighs) Everything okay? 171 00:07:00,699 --> 00:07:02,433 No, everything's not okay. 172 00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,870 My stupid wife got custody of Tugboat. 173 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,272 God, I should have kept her hidden 174 00:07:07,273 --> 00:07:09,274 in a cage in the basement. 175 00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,209 Isn't that animal cruelty? 176 00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:13,111 I'm talking about my wife. 177 00:07:13,112 --> 00:07:15,547 Oh. That's fine, then. 178 00:07:16,532 --> 00:07:20,258 So listen, you know Ted, the architect? 179 00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:21,986 Yeah, I know your friend Ted. So, 180 00:07:21,987 --> 00:07:24,289 if Ted stood up at that big meeting tomorrow 181 00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,825 and said that he thought The Arcadian should be a landmark... 182 00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,061 you wouldn't just fire him, would you? 183 00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:32,997 (laughs uncomfortably): Right? 184 00:07:32,998 --> 00:07:34,365 You wouldn't just... 185 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,500 You wouldn't just... yeah... 186 00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:37,669 No, Barney. I wouldn't just fire him. 187 00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,915 I'd also fire you. 188 00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,818 Come again for Big Fudge? 189 00:07:47,421 --> 00:07:50,355 Can you believe that?! I can't be unemployed, Robin! 190 00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:52,996 My job is my identity; It's who I am. 191 00:07:52,997 --> 00:07:54,998 It gives me the confidence I need 192 00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:57,401 to convince girls I'm a fighter pilot. 193 00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:59,269 I-I don't understand. 194 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,071 Why would he fire you? 195 00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:02,372 I don't understand. 196 00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,573 Why would you fire me? 197 00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:05,942 Have you already forgotten how Mosby got that job? 198 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,979 By being the best architect available? 199 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,580 No. 200 00:08:10,581 --> 00:08:13,583 By... being Latino? 201 00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:16,720 No. Let me refresh your memory. 202 00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:18,588 We were in this very room. 203 00:08:18,589 --> 00:08:20,624 Guys, I'm telling you, 204 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:24,795 if Ted Mosby isn't fantastic, fire me. 205 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,530 Damn it! 206 00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:27,931 I was kidding? 207 00:08:27,932 --> 00:08:29,266 I'm not kidding! 208 00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:31,201 Oh, by the way, Arthur, 209 00:08:31,202 --> 00:08:32,569 uh, how are things with you and your wife? 210 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:33,737 Really good. 211 00:08:33,738 --> 00:08:35,772 In fact, I just put all my assets in her name. 212 00:08:35,773 --> 00:08:37,708 Smartest thing I've ever done. 213 00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,409 BOTH: Damn it! No, 214 00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:42,045 you'd better make sure Mosby doesn't screw up tomorrow. 215 00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:44,014 Because either that building is going down, 216 00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:46,350 or you're going down. 217 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,784 TED: They're going 218 00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,353 to fire him? That sucks. He loves that job. 219 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:52,589 And he's been doing it for years. 220 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,758 Okay, what does Barney do at GNB? 221 00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:57,027 No idea. He has a lot of keys. 222 00:08:57,028 --> 00:08:59,129 Okay, Ted, can you just please think about this before you... 223 00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:00,263 There's nothing to think about. 224 00:09:00,264 --> 00:09:01,665 I-I can't lose Zoey. 225 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,433 That's the only thing that matters to me right now. 226 00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:04,801 Okay, Ted... 227 00:09:04,802 --> 00:09:06,236 you know I love Zoey. 228 00:09:06,237 --> 00:09:08,872 But, look, sometimes... 229 00:09:08,873 --> 00:09:10,307 I go play chess in the park. 230 00:09:10,308 --> 00:09:12,275 And the key to chess... 231 00:09:12,276 --> 00:09:14,778 Okay, I play online. 232 00:09:14,779 --> 00:09:17,781 But the key to chess... Okay, it's Angry Birds! 233 00:09:18,616 --> 00:09:20,117 But the key to Angry Birds 234 00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:23,487 is to always try to see every possible outcome. 235 00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:25,555 And to... hit some pigs with rocks or something. 236 00:09:25,556 --> 00:09:28,225 I don't know; I don't play. I can't get it to download. 237 00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:31,728 The point is, this thing with you and Zoey? 238 00:09:31,729 --> 00:09:34,464 I can see it going three possible ways. 239 00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:36,032 There's the first scenario. 240 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,601 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 241 00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:39,525 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 242 00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:40,871 You say... No. 243 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,449 And Zoey dumps you on the spot. 244 00:09:42,557 --> 00:09:45,175 We're done here. 245 00:09:45,176 --> 00:09:46,877 There's the second scenario. 246 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,445 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 247 00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:50,289 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 248 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,770 You say... Yes 249 00:09:51,782 --> 00:09:53,854 And you're happy for, like, a second, 250 00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:56,153 until you realize the building you helped save 251 00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:57,454 has just become a monument 252 00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:58,889 to everything this woman made you give up, 253 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,157 and you resent her for it, 254 00:10:00,158 --> 00:10:03,193 so much so, in fact, that you dump her. 255 00:10:03,194 --> 00:10:04,394 We're done here. 256 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,268 You said there was a third scenario. 257 00:10:06,293 --> 00:10:07,431 Right. 258 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,865 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 259 00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:11,301 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 260 00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:13,386 But before you can answer... 261 00:10:13,387 --> 00:10:15,722 You're hit in the neck with a blow dart fired by the ninja 262 00:10:15,723 --> 00:10:18,275 Zoey's ex-husband hired to assassinate you. 263 00:10:21,546 --> 00:10:23,513 That one's less likely. 264 00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:26,216 What I'm saying... 265 00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:28,552 what I hate saying... 266 00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:31,054 is this. 267 00:10:31,055 --> 00:10:32,989 You and Zoey are gonna break up. 268 00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:35,425 But you can still save your career 269 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,760 and Barney's. 270 00:10:37,728 --> 00:10:39,129 Okay, first of all, 271 00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,931 no ninja's getting a jump on me. 272 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,301 I have the reflexes of a jungle... 273 00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:45,769 Tree? 274 00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,472 Second of all, 275 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,574 I don't care that the odds are stacked against us. 276 00:10:50,575 --> 00:10:52,709 I'd rather try to make this work with Zoey 277 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:55,812 than spend the rest of my life alone playing Angry Birds, 278 00:10:55,813 --> 00:10:56,980 which, by the way, I've shown you how to download, 279 00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:59,149 like, 20 times. I've got to say, 280 00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:00,584 I'm with Ted on this. 281 00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:01,818 Thank you. I mean, yes, 282 00:11:01,819 --> 00:11:04,137 this is a huge, divisive issue for them. 283 00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:06,089 Which means no matter what happens, 284 00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:08,325 there's gonna be a lot of resentment. 285 00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:09,593 Probably lasting 286 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:11,127 for years... 287 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:15,499 infecting every single moment of the rest of their relationship. 288 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,401 So, in conclusion, I'm with Robin on this. 289 00:11:18,402 --> 00:11:20,170 Thank you. 290 00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:21,738 NARRATOR: That night, 291 00:11:21,739 --> 00:11:23,974 as I slept soundly... 292 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,830 (gasps) 293 00:11:29,831 --> 00:11:31,548 (panting) 294 00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:33,683 Barney, what are you doing? 295 00:11:33,684 --> 00:11:35,852 Who is this Barney? 296 00:11:35,853 --> 00:11:38,138 My name is John Clifford Larrabee, 297 00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:40,190 architect of The Arcadian. 298 00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:41,191 And I am 299 00:11:41,192 --> 00:11:42,425 visiting you 300 00:11:42,426 --> 00:11:45,128 (ghostly moaning): in a dream... 301 00:11:45,129 --> 00:11:47,330 Really? 'Cause it feels more like my insane friend 302 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,599 renting a costume and breaking into my apartment 303 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,067 in the middle of the night 304 00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:53,770 for what I wish I could say was the first time. 305 00:11:53,771 --> 00:11:55,272 Look, it's a dream, it is. 306 00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,474 So just... okay? 307 00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:00,944 Theodore... 308 00:12:00,945 --> 00:12:02,679 heed my words: 309 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,283 do not try to save The Arcadian. 310 00:12:06,284 --> 00:12:07,584 Barney, there's condoms in the drawer. 311 00:12:07,585 --> 00:12:08,835 Just take them and get out. 312 00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,054 (shouting dramatically): I am not 313 00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:12,339 (ghostly moaning): Barney... 314 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,358 Whoa! Lighting change! 315 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:20,063 Theodore, you know The Arcadian is a badly built, 316 00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:22,966 architecturally unimportant rat's nest 317 00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:25,769 designed by an overpaid, plagiarizing ether addict 318 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,437 with two thumbs. 319 00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:29,406 This guy. 320 00:12:29,407 --> 00:12:31,841 Okay, yes, it's-it's a terrible building, 321 00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:34,978 but... does that mean we have to knock it down? 322 00:12:34,979 --> 00:12:37,147 I mean, it's not bothering anyone. 323 00:12:37,148 --> 00:12:39,416 Just anyone who lives in it. 324 00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,318 Or looks at it. 325 00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:42,986 Or smells it. 326 00:12:42,987 --> 00:12:46,489 New York is never finished, Theodore. 327 00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:47,958 She's a lady 328 00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:50,994 only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. 329 00:12:50,995 --> 00:12:52,362 Do not miss 330 00:12:52,363 --> 00:12:54,331 your turn. 331 00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,269 The Arcadian has to go, doesn't it? 332 00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:00,470 Indeed. 333 00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:04,007 You realize this kind of screws up my personal life. 334 00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:06,509 Mo' buildings, mo' problems. 335 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,514 This is a dream, right? 336 00:13:11,515 --> 00:13:14,150 Because, Barney, I swear to God, if that's you... 337 00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:15,018 (groans softly) 338 00:13:15,019 --> 00:13:17,287 (snaps fingers) 339 00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:22,292 Mommy's got Magic Lady Bits, Ted. 340 00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:24,961 (panting): Dream! Dream! 341 00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:26,730 It was just a dream. 342 00:13:26,731 --> 00:13:28,031 (panting) 343 00:13:28,032 --> 00:13:30,233 (groans, gasping) 344 00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:34,638 (exhales) 345 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,706 ♪ ♪ 346 00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:48,952 Hey. I know it's late, but, uh... 347 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,221 you want to meet up? 348 00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:53,490 ZOEY: Hello, Mr. Lion. 349 00:13:53,491 --> 00:13:55,125 TED: "Look on my works, 350 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,828 ye mighty, and despair" 351 00:13:58,829 --> 00:14:02,966 Hey, I met you right... 352 00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:06,436 (laughs) 353 00:14:06,437 --> 00:14:07,654 ...here. 354 00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:09,356 Right. And I mistook you 355 00:14:09,357 --> 00:14:11,157 for a prostitute right... 356 00:14:11,158 --> 00:14:13,109 here. 357 00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:14,778 As far as you know, I still could be one. 358 00:14:14,779 --> 00:14:15,812 Ah. And you, 359 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:18,198 my good man, have run up quite a tab. 360 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,321 Worth every penny. 361 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,758 (sighs): All right... 362 00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:30,210 this was fun. 363 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,798 I'm gonna take this cab. 364 00:14:34,799 --> 00:14:36,499 Big day tomorrow. 365 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,468 We need to get some sleep. 366 00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:45,241 And yet... 367 00:14:45,242 --> 00:14:48,011 No, we should get some sleep. 368 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,146 But this was fun. 369 00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:51,514 Yeah. 370 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,349 It's nice getting one last look 371 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,385 to remember what we're trying to save. 372 00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:58,722 Exactly. 373 00:14:59,557 --> 00:15:00,757 You okay? 374 00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,625 Yeah. Good night. 375 00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:07,397 HORVATH: Mr. Mosby, I'm going to ask you one last time. 376 00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:09,999 Should The Arcadian be a landmark? 377 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,471 No, it shouldn't be a landmark. 378 00:15:14,472 --> 00:15:15,405 (audience gasps) 379 00:15:15,406 --> 00:15:16,439 There are a lot 380 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,141 of important buildings in New York. 381 00:15:18,142 --> 00:15:19,943 The Arcadian isn't one of them. 382 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,749 E-Excuse me, 383 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,383 I have a question for Mr. Mosby. 384 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:28,768 If he doesn't think 385 00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:32,689 The Arcadian's worth saving, then whose voice is this? 386 00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:35,291 TED (on recorder): The Arcadian should be a landmark. 387 00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:36,726 It should. 388 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,763 The lion head stonework is iconic. 389 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,998 I hate working for GNB. 390 00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,233 They're a bunch of... 391 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,235 wieners and gonads. 392 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,069 (all gasp) 393 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,270 Oh, heavens! 394 00:15:47,271 --> 00:15:48,972 My stars! 395 00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:50,874 Is that your voice, Mr. Mosby? 396 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,881 Yeah, that's me. 397 00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,621 This is a nightmare. I can't believe 398 00:16:04,652 --> 00:16:05,685 she kept that tape. 399 00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:06,653 The LPC's gonna 400 00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:08,321 come back with a decision tomorrow, 401 00:16:08,322 --> 00:16:09,589 and based on today... 402 00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:11,357 They're gonna landmark the hell out of that place. 403 00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:13,693 Yeah. We'll end up out of a job, 404 00:16:13,694 --> 00:16:18,298 all thanks to some stupid, only sort of awesome lion head. 405 00:16:18,299 --> 00:16:20,100 Better get used to that lion head. 406 00:16:20,101 --> 00:16:24,037 As of tomorrow, it's gonna be there till the end of times. 407 00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:26,873 And all because of my sweet, sweet rhymes. 408 00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:30,644 What are we gonna do? 409 00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:36,216 We should buy a bar. BARNEY: We should totally buy a bar! 410 00:16:36,217 --> 00:16:37,884 We should absolutely totally buy a bar! 411 00:16:37,885 --> 00:16:39,553 It's really the only sensible idea right now. 412 00:16:39,554 --> 00:16:40,854 MARSHALL: Oh, oh, and ready? 413 00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,222 It's a theme bar. 414 00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:43,256 TED: Mm! 415 00:16:43,257 --> 00:16:44,291 It's a courtroom. 416 00:16:44,292 --> 00:16:46,343 Yes! Ah! 417 00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:49,529 Where the bartenders wear sexy judges' robes. 418 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,164 I'll allow it! 419 00:16:51,165 --> 00:16:53,567 The only court where you show up, then get served. 420 00:16:53,568 --> 00:16:54,567 Ho! 421 00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:56,837 You're judged by a jury of your beers. 422 00:16:56,838 --> 00:16:57,754 That's not bad. 423 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:58,772 Just stop it! 424 00:16:58,773 --> 00:16:59,840 No one's buying a bar. 425 00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:01,425 Right now we have a little problem. 426 00:17:01,426 --> 00:17:03,243 Let's just think of a solution. 427 00:17:03,244 --> 00:17:05,212 Lily, it's over. 428 00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:06,880 The good guys lost. 429 00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:09,549 I don't know, homegirl is pretty diabolical. 430 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,619 If there is a plan that'll get us out of this, 431 00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:15,722 it's somewhere inside this butter churn. 432 00:17:15,723 --> 00:17:17,858 She'll think of it. 433 00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:20,660 I'm just gonna sit here... 434 00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:22,612 and watch it happen. 435 00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,700 And she's got it! 436 00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:28,285 Lily, what's the plan? 437 00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:30,937 (groans) Oh, this ought to be good. 438 00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:33,073 And then Lily told us her plan. 439 00:17:33,074 --> 00:17:36,076 Oh, this is good! 440 00:17:36,077 --> 00:17:38,011 We have to find Arthur right now. 441 00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:39,746 (shudders) 442 00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:42,582 What is so difficult about this?! 443 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,284 Tugboat figured this out in, like, five minutes. 444 00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:46,019 This is bush league! 445 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,287 BARNEY: Hey, Arthur! 446 00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:49,289 Oh, cute dog! 447 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:52,092 No! Tugboat, my other dog, that was a cute dog. 448 00:17:52,093 --> 00:17:55,595 This little disappointment is nothing but a cheap facsimile. 449 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:56,863 I said it! 450 00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:58,465 Yeah, my love is reserved for dogs 451 00:17:58,466 --> 00:18:00,333 that go to the bathroom on command 452 00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:02,335 instead of wasting my time! 453 00:18:02,336 --> 00:18:05,172 BARNEY: Listen, Arthur, Marshall's wife 454 00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:09,009 has an idea for how we can save not saving The Arcadian. 455 00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,360 Oh, his wife has an idea. 456 00:18:10,361 --> 00:18:11,945 Let me tell you about wives, okay? 457 00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:14,364 They leave you and take your best friend with them. 458 00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:15,615 You're not Tugboat! 459 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,185 You'll never be Tugboat! 460 00:18:19,253 --> 00:18:22,289 (stammers, pants): Uh... 461 00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:23,656 Hey, Arthur? 462 00:18:31,265 --> 00:18:34,851 I guess this one's kind of cute or whatever. 463 00:18:35,903 --> 00:18:38,805 So... so what's the idea? 464 00:18:38,806 --> 00:18:41,775 Okay, first hear my demands. One, 465 00:18:41,776 --> 00:18:44,177 Ted and Barney keep their jobs. 466 00:18:44,178 --> 00:18:46,880 Two, when you guys do finally blow up The Arcadian, 467 00:18:46,881 --> 00:18:48,982 one of them gets to push the button. 468 00:18:48,983 --> 00:18:50,984 Dibs. Dibs. 469 00:18:50,985 --> 00:18:52,903 Fine! What's the idea? 470 00:18:52,904 --> 00:18:54,754 Well... Kids, for legal reasons, 471 00:18:54,755 --> 00:18:56,790 I have to skip this part of the story 472 00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,525 and jump ahead to the next night, 473 00:18:58,526 --> 00:19:00,026 as the Landmarks Preservation Commission 474 00:19:00,027 --> 00:19:01,261 gave their verdict. 475 00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:02,262 Last night, 476 00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:03,930 this committee took a vote, 477 00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:07,567 and while we have all felt from the very beginning that 478 00:19:07,568 --> 00:19:08,935 The Arcadian is, 479 00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:11,571 (chuckles): well, an eyesore... 480 00:19:11,572 --> 00:19:14,774 Mr. Mosby's surprising testimony 481 00:19:14,775 --> 00:19:16,843 about the lion's head stonework 482 00:19:16,844 --> 00:19:19,779 left us no choice but to declare it... 483 00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,514 a landmark. 484 00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:25,185 (gavel pounding) 485 00:19:25,186 --> 00:19:28,989 But then, something else happened last night. 486 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,024 That same lion's head 487 00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:32,225 stonework... 488 00:19:32,226 --> 00:19:35,128 (electric tool whirring) 489 00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:36,096 ...disappeared. 490 00:19:36,097 --> 00:19:38,665 (audience gasps) So... 491 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:41,368 that makes our job a little easier. 492 00:19:41,369 --> 00:19:43,069 Motion denied. 493 00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:44,337 (gavel pounds) 494 00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:47,941 (preservationists groan, GNB people applaud and cheer) 495 00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:53,847 Zoey... 496 00:19:53,848 --> 00:19:55,081 Zoey! 497 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,852 All right, what do you have to say for yourself? 498 00:19:58,853 --> 00:20:00,453 (sighs) 499 00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:01,855 I don't know. 500 00:20:01,856 --> 00:20:05,292 Sometimes... things have to fall apart 501 00:20:05,293 --> 00:20:08,495 to make way for better things. 502 00:20:17,805 --> 00:20:19,139 We're done here. 503 00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:22,840 == sync, corrected by elderman == 504 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,880 Okay, you don't have to hold back anymore. 505 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,494 You may now say what you really think of Zoey. 506 00:20:34,205 --> 00:20:36,073 I don't know, she may have been right about that lion's head. 507 00:20:36,112 --> 00:20:38,180 It gave The Arcadian a regal elegance. 508 00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,916 Then again, it goes really nice with my duvet. 509 00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:45,654 I hope I used the right screws.