1
00:00:02,462 --> 00:00:04,700
<i>Previously on The Hard Times of RJ Berger...</i>

2
00:00:04,733 --> 00:00:06,202
- Morning, Berger.
- Oh, my God!

3
00:00:06,236 --> 00:00:07,806
What are you doing here?

4
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,976
RJ, is that any way to treat a guest?

5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,913
Are you asking me out on a date?

6
00:00:11,948 --> 00:00:13,383
Yes, I am.

7
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,863
I suppose you're here to tell me...

8
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,100
to stay away from your mother.

9
00:00:32,135 --> 00:00:33,837
You suppose correctly.

10
00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:35,575
And if I don't?

11
00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:37,246
Then, Mr. Sinclair...

12
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,287
Life becomes extraordinarily
difficult for you.

13
00:00:43,497 --> 00:00:46,102
A threat.

14
00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:50,380
A promise.

15
00:00:50,415 --> 00:00:53,990
There are quite a few secrets
rattling around that skull of yours.

16
00:00:54,025 --> 00:00:57,967
Secrets that the school board
or your parole officer...

17
00:00:58,001 --> 00:00:59,470
might find rather interesting.

18
00:00:59,504 --> 00:01:02,410
With all due respect, Mr. Sinclair,

19
00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:05,786
you have no choice but to obey.

20
00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:08,125
With all due respect, Mr. Berger,

21
00:01:08,159 --> 00:01:09,862
you can kiss my black ass.

22
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,659
What the...

23
00:01:32,848 --> 00:01:35,620
No, no, no, not yet!

24
00:01:46,582 --> 00:01:48,118
Damn it, Miles.

25
00:01:48,152 --> 00:01:49,721
You pulled me out too soon!

26
00:01:49,756 --> 00:01:51,157
I had him!

27
00:01:51,192 --> 00:01:53,829
Five minutes. Not a second more.

28
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,639
Those were your instructions.

29
00:01:57,674 --> 00:01:58,741
I had him.

30
00:01:58,776 --> 00:02:00,745
Look at you, man.

31
00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:02,817
You're coming apart at the seams.

32
00:02:02,851 --> 00:02:04,788
If I wanted a sermon, I'd go to church.

33
00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:08,997
Have you been cooking bacon?

34
00:02:09,031 --> 00:02:10,400
Miles, what the hell were you doing?

35
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:13,072
The only thing that'll
make you see the light.

36
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,005
Ugh!

37
00:02:27,039 --> 00:02:30,011
Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bac-y.

38
00:02:30,046 --> 00:02:34,187
Your mama made us breakfast.

39
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,858
My name is RJ Berger.

40
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And every morning I wake
up to the same nightmare.

41
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Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

42
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Mm, deeeelicious.

43
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Deeelighted to hear it.

44
00:02:56,839 --> 00:02:58,042
Well, I'm ghost.

45
00:02:58,076 --> 00:02:59,044
Gotta let the golf team in...

46
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,614
for their morning workout.

47
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:01,749
Want a ride to school, son?

48
00:03:01,784 --> 00:03:03,453
No, I'll... I'll take the bus.

49
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:04,957
This is, um, surreal enough already.

50
00:03:04,991 --> 00:03:07,094
Eh, suit yourself.

51
00:03:07,128 --> 00:03:08,129
I'll see you later.

52
00:03:08,164 --> 00:03:11,503
Mm, hmm-hmm-hmm.

53
00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:17,016
Mm!

54
00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:18,018
Damn!

55
00:03:18,052 --> 00:03:19,855
Yeah.

56
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:23,530
Whoo.

57
00:03:23,564 --> 00:03:24,532
Mm.

58
00:03:26,037 --> 00:03:27,706
- RJ, honey, we have to talk.
- I agree.

59
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,777
Should I change the locks, or should you?

60
00:03:29,812 --> 00:03:30,913
What, Jeriba?

61
00:03:30,948 --> 00:03:32,216
Oh, no, honey. Don't worry about him.

62
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,719
He's just a warm body to fill the void.

63
00:03:33,754 --> 00:03:35,823
No, it's that tomorrow...

64
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:39,331
is your daddy's and my 20th anniversary.

65
00:03:39,365 --> 00:03:40,633
Oh.

66
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,204
So I was hoping you could
be here in the evening.

67
00:03:42,238 --> 00:03:44,074
Okay, what for?

68
00:03:44,109 --> 00:03:45,378
So mommy doesn't have to be
alone with the sad monsters...

69
00:03:45,412 --> 00:03:46,580
that live inside her heart.

70
00:03:46,614 --> 00:03:48,383
Why can't he hang with you?

71
00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:50,253
RJ, we've discussed this.
He can't do Friday nights.

72
00:03:50,288 --> 00:03:52,525
- Community service.
- Community service.

73
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,329
It'll be fun.

74
00:03:54,363 --> 00:03:56,500
We'll order Armenian and play pictionary.

75
00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:58,906
But mostly we'll just...

76
00:03:58,940 --> 00:03:59,908
Not cry.

77
00:03:59,942 --> 00:04:01,445
- Okay.
- Okay.

78
00:04:07,326 --> 00:04:09,463
Have you ever hit pause when
the Asian guy's naked...

79
00:04:09,498 --> 00:04:10,933
<i>in the hangover?</i>

80
00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:12,871
I mean, that's gotta be the
world's smallest penis.

81
00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:14,275
- Miles, I...
- Dude, seriously.

82
00:04:14,309 --> 00:04:15,812
You can't even see it through the pubes.

83
00:04:15,847 --> 00:04:17,716
My life is falling apart,

84
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,286
and this is what you wanna talk about?

85
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,223
If you were a superhero,
that little Asian guy...

86
00:04:21,258 --> 00:04:22,627
would be your arch-Nemesis.

87
00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:24,798
He'd be the ying to your wang.

88
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,368
Let me see your hand.

89
00:04:26,402 --> 00:04:28,472
- What?
- Let me see your hand.

90
00:04:30,377 --> 00:04:32,080
How long it take you to write that?

91
00:04:32,114 --> 00:04:33,182
All morning.

92
00:04:33,217 --> 00:04:35,120
Damn, girl.

93
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If you didn't already have a limp,

94
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:37,358
I would give you one.

95
00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:38,493
I am gonna hump...

96
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,834
your overdeveloped brains out your skull.

97
00:04:41,868 --> 00:04:44,272
Mm!

98
00:04:44,307 --> 00:04:45,508
Ugh.

99
00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:47,111
Unbelievable.

100
00:04:47,146 --> 00:04:49,215
Robo-troll has a boyfriend.

101
00:04:49,251 --> 00:04:52,222
I can't even buy a second
look from a blind girl.

102
00:04:52,256 --> 00:04:53,959
That's it, man. I'm gettin' in shape.

103
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:56,631
Miles, you do this every couple of weeks.

104
00:04:56,665 --> 00:04:58,001
You say you're gonna get in shape.

105
00:04:58,035 --> 00:04:59,003
You go home.

106
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,773
You jog half a mile. You vomit.

107
00:05:00,807 --> 00:05:02,142
And then you spend the
rest of the afternoon...

108
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,645
writing jokes on your hands.

109
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:06,083
Look, I love you, buddy.
But you have the self-control...

110
00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:07,085
of Lindsay Lohan's nostrils.

111
00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,288
No, I'm serious.

112
00:05:08,322 --> 00:05:09,590
I'm gonna get in shape this time.

113
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:11,093
I'm gettin' in shape.

114
00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:14,166
RJ, you...

115
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,903
Got a minute?

116
00:05:15,938 --> 00:05:18,710
Okay.

117
00:05:18,744 --> 00:05:20,213
Whew.

118
00:05:20,247 --> 00:05:21,816
Is everything okay?

119
00:05:21,851 --> 00:05:23,553
Uh, not really.

120
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:25,091
But, hey, I got my first paycheck...

121
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,293
as a substitute teacher.

122
00:05:26,328 --> 00:05:28,933
Although after taxes and a week's rent,

123
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:30,370
it comes to 23 bucks.

124
00:05:30,404 --> 00:05:32,107
Although you'd be surprised
at how far that goes...

125
00:05:32,141 --> 00:05:33,277
at 7-11.

126
00:05:33,311 --> 00:05:34,546
- I gotta get to class.
- Right.

127
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,784
RJ, I was just wondering if, uh,

128
00:05:36,819 --> 00:05:38,554
if you were free to spend a little time...

129
00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:39,824
with your old man tomorrow night.

130
00:05:39,858 --> 00:05:41,928
Oh, actually, I've... I've already made...

131
00:05:41,963 --> 00:05:43,999
It's just that I don't
trust myself to be alone...

132
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:45,602
on my first anniversary away from mommy.

133
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,004
I'll be honest, son.

134
00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:49,076
$18.50 of that $23 went to
five bottles of red wine.

135
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:52,082
Right now they're the only,
uh, company I've got.

136
00:05:52,116 --> 00:05:53,084
Yeah, dad.

137
00:05:53,118 --> 00:05:54,353
Of course I'll...

138
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,157
All right! Oh, thank you so much!

139
00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:58,095
Oh, you have made a sad, sad man...

140
00:05:58,129 --> 00:05:59,498
just a tiny, tiny bit less sad.

141
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,503
This is gonna be great.

142
00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:02,940
Now, I'll... I'll fire up the hot plate,

143
00:06:02,974 --> 00:06:05,679
and I'll whip up some Franks,

144
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,116
and I've got this little
doohickey from radio shack...

145
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:08,887
that lets you hook up a vcr to a tv,

146
00:06:08,921 --> 00:06:10,858
so we can watch our favorite tape together,

147
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,462
just like old times.

148
00:06:33,106 --> 00:06:34,675
Miles...

149
00:06:34,709 --> 00:06:38,617
I need you to come hold me.

150
00:06:38,651 --> 00:06:41,122
Oh, you're so strong.

151
00:06:42,159 --> 00:06:43,561
Being a male cheerleader...

152
00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:45,666
is like having McDonald's and burger king...

153
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,369
all at once, Miles.

154
00:06:47,403 --> 00:06:50,310
First you see the golden arches.

155
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,382
Then you have it your way.

156
00:06:53,417 --> 00:06:55,721
Oh, Miles!

157
00:06:55,755 --> 00:06:56,890
That's amazing.

158
00:06:56,924 --> 00:06:58,794
Hands off, bitch! He's mine!

159
00:07:00,365 --> 00:07:02,502
Uh-uh, girl. He's mine!

160
00:07:03,539 --> 00:07:04,874
Whoa, whoa.

161
00:07:04,909 --> 00:07:06,176
Easy.

162
00:07:06,211 --> 00:07:07,914
There's plenty to go around.

163
00:07:07,948 --> 00:07:09,751
God gave me ten fingers.

164
00:07:09,785 --> 00:07:11,756
Keep your hands off him.

165
00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:12,758
Gonna get what I want.

166
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:15,631
Yeah, baby!

167
00:07:15,665 --> 00:07:18,203
Spirit fingers.

168
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,174
So great, instead of one
clinically depressed parent,

169
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:21,544
I get both of them.

170
00:07:21,578 --> 00:07:22,813
Guess if I leave my mom's early enough,

171
00:07:22,847 --> 00:07:24,117
I can make it over to my dad...

172
00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:26,555
before he weeps his way through
our old vacation photos.

173
00:07:26,589 --> 00:07:28,626
I'm telling you, as a veteran of divorce,

174
00:07:28,661 --> 00:07:29,795
these things never end well.

175
00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:30,932
Yeah, I know, but what am I supposed to do?

176
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,068
I can't let them both down.

177
00:07:32,102 --> 00:07:33,705
Are you kidding me? They let you down.

178
00:07:33,739 --> 00:07:36,077
Listen, RJ, I know what
you're going through.

179
00:07:36,112 --> 00:07:37,179
Believe me.

180
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:38,215
And I know how tempting it is...

181
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,518
to play the nice guy.

182
00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:41,089
But you have to stop trying
to please everybody else...

183
00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:42,758
and start taking care of yourself.

184
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:43,827
Your parents are grown-ups.

185
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,565
- Not really.
- Okay, well, maybe not.

186
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:46,867
But I do know that it is their job...

187
00:07:46,902 --> 00:07:48,671
to take care of you,
and not the other way around.

188
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:52,113
So are you still planning
on doing this alone?

189
00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:53,750
Well, I-I don't really
think I have another choice.

190
00:07:53,784 --> 00:07:56,589
Well, I could maybe go with you...

191
00:07:56,624 --> 00:07:58,092
for moral support.

192
00:07:58,127 --> 00:08:01,066
You are aware that my mom and coach are...

193
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,301
Crazy.

194
00:08:02,335 --> 00:08:04,806
And completely self-absorbed and psycho.

195
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:05,908
Yeah, I totally know that.

196
00:08:05,942 --> 00:08:07,078
But that is divorce, RJ.

197
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,580
My parents went through the same thing.

198
00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:11,921
Except, actually, it was my
dad that left for a black guy.

199
00:08:11,955 --> 00:08:13,057
Yeah.

200
00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:14,727
The point is, sometimes everybody needs...

201
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:15,728
a little support.

202
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,501
So my mom's apartment, 6:30.

203
00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:19,503
It's a date.

204
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,303
Stop, stop, stop!

205
00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:36,473
What was that?

206
00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:39,378
Um, Robin, what are you guys doing?

207
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:41,115
What does it look like we're doing?

208
00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:43,654
We're practicing?

209
00:08:43,688 --> 00:08:45,224
I'm team captain. I lead practice.

210
00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,861
Well, you were late.

211
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:48,230
And we got tired of waiting.

212
00:08:48,264 --> 00:08:49,700
- Oh, really.
- Hey!

213
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:51,972
What the hell?

214
00:08:52,006 --> 00:08:52,974
'Sup, chicken heads?

215
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,980
Anybody need a lift?

216
00:09:10,599 --> 00:09:11,249
Morning, bud.

217
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:13,250
Hey, dad. Can we talk about something?

218
00:09:13,284 --> 00:09:16,552
Look what I've got.

219
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:18,086
<i>Sir homie, the brown knight? No way!</i>

220
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,287
It's one of the few
things your mom sent me...

221
00:09:19,322 --> 00:09:20,654
that I didn't burn.

222
00:09:20,689 --> 00:09:21,787
- That's good.
- Yeah.

223
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:22,788
Uh, hey, about tonight.

224
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,022
Hey, look, I gotta tell ya.

225
00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:25,256
If I didn't have this to look forward to,

226
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:26,990
if I didn't have you to depend on,

227
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,457
I-I might die of a broken heart.

228
00:09:28,491 --> 00:09:30,359
- Dad, don't say that.
- No, no, it's true.

229
00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:31,592
And someday I'm gonna go to Israel...

230
00:09:31,627 --> 00:09:33,259
and plant a tree in your name...

231
00:09:33,294 --> 00:09:35,028
because you saved a life today.

232
00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:36,228
No, well, listen to me babble on.

233
00:09:36,262 --> 00:09:37,896
Um, you were gonna say something, sorry.

234
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,097
Go ahead.

235
00:09:40,132 --> 00:09:42,732
I was going to say...

236
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:45,969
I have something to do
earlier in the evening,

237
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,136
so I was kinda hoping we could meet up...

238
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,304
a little later on.

239
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,438
Oh, so when you say something,

240
00:09:51,473 --> 00:09:54,107
you really mean someone, huh?

241
00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:55,141
Huh?

242
00:09:55,175 --> 00:09:56,575
- Uh...
- Yeah?

243
00:09:56,610 --> 00:09:57,809
Someone.

244
00:09:58,878 --> 00:10:00,244
Attaboy!

245
00:10:00,278 --> 00:10:02,912
Sure, we can meet later. Absolutely.

246
00:10:07,716 --> 00:10:09,649
So in other words, you pussed out.

247
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:11,017
He was desperate, Miles.
What else was I supposed to do?

248
00:10:11,051 --> 00:10:12,351
Wait, wait a second.

249
00:10:12,386 --> 00:10:13,752
So y'all mean to tell me
I'm the only one here...

250
00:10:13,786 --> 00:10:15,853
whose parents are happily married?

251
00:10:15,888 --> 00:10:18,889
170 iq with a stable,
upper-middle class home life.

252
00:10:18,923 --> 00:10:19,956
Ha!

253
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,290
Who's your stereotype now, homie?

254
00:10:21,325 --> 00:10:23,525
Well, you are dating a
white girl with a huge ass.

255
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,893
True.

256
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:26,994
If I were you, I'd call his bluff.

257
00:10:27,028 --> 00:10:28,628
I mean, what's the worst
thing that could happen?

258
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,796
Uh, I don't know.

259
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,363
I mean, he could kill himself.

260
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:32,531
Bingo.

261
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,699
And you got a spare dad
waiting in the wings.

262
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,634
Miles, I don't want coach to be my dad.

263
00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,368
I don't even want him to be my coach.

264
00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:40,269
All I'm saying is give the guy a chance.

265
00:10:40,303 --> 00:10:41,303
He's friends with pimps.

266
00:10:41,338 --> 00:10:42,336
- Mm.
- Wow.

267
00:10:42,371 --> 00:10:43,970
Another selfless act of friendship.

268
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:46,004
You know, you'd be a lot
cuter if you didn't talk.

269
00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:47,705
Oh, and you'd be a lot smarter.

270
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:48,705
Ooh.

271
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:50,339
I like this girl more every day.

272
00:10:50,374 --> 00:10:51,540
Me, too.

273
00:10:51,575 --> 00:10:52,707
Well, I think it's time for me to get...

274
00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:53,708
to cheerleading practice.

275
00:10:53,742 --> 00:10:55,309
I am gonna have McDonald's...

276
00:10:55,343 --> 00:10:57,043
<i>and burger king today.</i>

277
00:10:57,077 --> 00:10:58,711
And how is that different
from any other day?

278
00:10:58,745 --> 00:10:59,711
Ohhh!

279
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,512
- Ohhh!
- Hey!

280
00:11:02,714 --> 00:11:04,681
Well played, baby.

281
00:11:12,119 --> 00:11:13,552
Jeriba.

282
00:11:13,587 --> 00:11:14,554
Hey, Rick.

283
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:18,489
Ohhh.

284
00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:19,656
How's it hangin'?

285
00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:21,557
Oh, you know. Alone.

286
00:11:21,591 --> 00:11:23,092
Big plans for this weekend?

287
00:11:23,126 --> 00:11:24,325
- Me?
- Yeah.

288
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,526
Nah.

289
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,794
Not a damn thing.

290
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:29,028
Well, unless you count leavin' my mark...

291
00:11:29,062 --> 00:11:30,695
on some fine white ass.

292
00:11:32,165 --> 00:11:34,431
And you?

293
00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:35,898
Oh, actually, I'm getting together...

294
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:37,199
with RJ tonight.

295
00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:38,966
Gonna have some old-fashioned
father-son bonding.

296
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:39,967
Is that so?

297
00:11:40,002 --> 00:11:41,200
Mm-hmm.

298
00:11:41,235 --> 00:11:43,468
Good luck with that.

299
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:05,149
Oh, my God. I'm doing it!

300
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:06,851
Ready to come down? Yeah.

301
00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:09,085
One, two... ah.

302
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,086
- Whoo!
- Yes!

303
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,487
Shut up and do it again.

304
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:12,487
Okay.

305
00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:14,589
Oh, no, wait, wait.

306
00:12:14,623 --> 00:12:15,990
Whoa, everybody stop.

307
00:12:16,025 --> 00:12:17,524
What the hell, Meredith?

308
00:12:17,558 --> 00:12:19,425
I have girl cramps.

309
00:12:19,459 --> 00:12:20,593
Like I care!

310
00:12:20,627 --> 00:12:21,826
Get over there and do it again!

311
00:12:21,861 --> 00:12:23,895
Maybe we should let her take a break.

312
00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:25,595
Maybe you should let me
instill some discipline...

313
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:26,730
in these girls,

314
00:12:26,764 --> 00:12:29,465
since you're obviously not capable.

315
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,333
Meredith, do it again.

316
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:32,333
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.

317
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,834
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

318
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:37,001
One, two, three, four,

319
00:12:37,036 --> 00:12:38,236
five, six, seven, eight.

320
00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:39,769
Oh.

321
00:12:39,804 --> 00:12:41,537
Cheerleading rocks.

322
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,920
Heh, heh, heh.

323
00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:49,024
Agh, blood!

324
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,025
Ohhhhh!

325
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,793
Oh, my God.

326
00:12:58,490 --> 00:12:59,627
Dude, it's just blood.

327
00:12:59,661 --> 00:13:01,367
Just blood?

328
00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:02,705
Period blood isn't just...

329
00:13:04,178 --> 00:13:07,657
Period blood isn't just blood.

330
00:13:07,691 --> 00:13:11,617
Period blood is what the devil
makes terrorists drink in hell.

331
00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:12,708
Yeah, well, you're gonna
give yourself a blister.

332
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:13,713
Who cares?

333
00:13:13,747 --> 00:13:16,455
I probably need a full face transplant!

334
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:17,693
Damn it!

335
00:13:17,728 --> 00:13:19,366
Why can't anything just go right for me?

336
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,938
- Come on, Miles.
- Seriously!

337
00:13:20,972 --> 00:13:22,711
I just wanted to lose some weight...

338
00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,416
to get girls to like me.

339
00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:26,992
Now I'm gonna be hearing vampire jokes...

340
00:13:27,026 --> 00:13:28,163
the rest of my life.

341
00:13:28,197 --> 00:13:29,300
Miles.

342
00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:32,612
Buddy, come on.

343
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,783
When a girl likes you...

344
00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,555
For real, likes you...

345
00:13:35,591 --> 00:13:37,664
It's not because you're
skinny or attractive...

346
00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:39,303
or chiseled.

347
00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:41,545
It's because you're you.

348
00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:43,385
You're funny, you're cool, you're sincere.

349
00:13:43,419 --> 00:13:46,095
The kind of guy who spends
an entire morning...

350
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:51,682
writing jokes on his hand
to make his buddy laugh.

351
00:13:51,717 --> 00:13:53,555
Look.

352
00:13:53,590 --> 00:13:56,833
I know this is supposed to
be a nice friendship moment.

353
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:57,837
And don't get me wrong.

354
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,209
I really appreciate it, man.

355
00:13:59,243 --> 00:14:00,948
I really do.

356
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:02,520
But, uh,

357
00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:06,869
I had a girl's period blood on my face.

358
00:14:06,903 --> 00:14:09,611
Yeah, we should get back to scrubbing.

359
00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:12,254
Put some elbow grease in it.

360
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:21,187
Five, six, seven, eight.

361
00:14:21,221 --> 00:14:23,562
Lift, one, two, three, four,

362
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:26,206
five, six, seven, eight.

363
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,443
You call that a lift, bitch tits?

364
00:14:27,478 --> 00:14:28,446
Stop shaking!

365
00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:29,818
I can't help it.

366
00:14:29,853 --> 00:14:31,960
My goggles are so fogged up,
I can't see anything.

367
00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:33,566
Awww.

368
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,309
I know it's hard lifting
that cow up in the air,

369
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:40,490
but we don't want to drop her, do we?

370
00:14:40,525 --> 00:14:42,666
Keep it up, girls. One, two, three, four.

371
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,573
Five, six...

372
00:14:44,607 --> 00:14:47,382
Ow, that hurt!

373
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,190
Are you serious?

374
00:14:49,224 --> 00:14:51,598
Oh, no. Are you hurt, Jenny?

375
00:14:51,632 --> 00:14:52,870
My ankle.

376
00:14:55,748 --> 00:14:57,052
Hey, what do you think you're doing?

377
00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:58,625
Practice isn't over.

378
00:14:58,659 --> 00:15:00,264
I'm taking her to the nurse,
you psycho hose beast.

379
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,502
You do that,

380
00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:03,109
and you're both off the squad for good!

381
00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:05,016
Oh, I'm really gonna
miss the period blood...

382
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:06,187
all over my face!

383
00:15:06,221 --> 00:15:08,327
Oh! You're finished, Swanson!

384
00:15:08,362 --> 00:15:10,302
God. Back to one!

385
00:15:10,336 --> 00:15:11,540
What are you looking at?

386
00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:16,123
Mmm, look at that, huh?

387
00:15:16,157 --> 00:15:18,063
Oh, that meat looks fantastic.

388
00:15:18,097 --> 00:15:19,400
Yeah, wait till you see
the real thing later.

389
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:22,645
Mom.

390
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:27,194
Surprise, mother[Bleep]!

391
00:15:27,229 --> 00:15:28,900
I thought you had...

392
00:15:28,935 --> 00:15:30,071
What, community service?

393
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:31,108
Yeah, I know.

394
00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:32,313
I slipped a crack head five bucks...

395
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:33,852
to clean that synagogue for me.

396
00:15:33,887 --> 00:15:35,023
'Sides, I thought it'd be a good idea...

397
00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:37,131
if we spent some quality time together.

398
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:38,704
You know, some family time.

399
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,549
Aren't you just the sweetest thing?

400
00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:42,887
Oh, I just wanna ungh!

401
00:15:45,364 --> 00:15:46,501
So, RJ, why don't you and, um...

402
00:15:46,535 --> 00:15:47,504
Oh, I'm sorry.

403
00:15:47,539 --> 00:15:49,846
Uh, mom, coach,

404
00:15:49,881 --> 00:15:51,252
this is Amy.

405
00:15:51,286 --> 00:15:52,791
- Amy.
- Hi.

406
00:15:52,825 --> 00:15:55,099
So you're the older woman
Rj's been telling us about.

407
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:57,039
You are just as cute as a button.

408
00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:58,245
And I can see what RJ meant when he said...

409
00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:00,152
you have the curves of a video ViXen.

410
00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:01,891
What? No, I'm... I never said that.

411
00:16:01,925 --> 00:16:03,162
- Uh, no, that was me.
- Oh, that was him.

412
00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:04,166
Mm-hmm. Coach Sinclair.

413
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,303
- Hi.
- How you doing?

414
00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:06,374
You can call me Jeriba.

415
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:07,746
Okay.

416
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,188
Mm, okay. Have a seat.

417
00:16:10,222 --> 00:16:12,663
I, uh, cooked up some of papa Sinclair's...

418
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:13,902
famous skirt steak...

419
00:16:13,936 --> 00:16:15,173
and bought a few bottles
of the good stuff...

420
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,177
to go with it.

421
00:16:16,212 --> 00:16:18,084
And RJ,

422
00:16:18,119 --> 00:16:19,456
if it's okay with your mama,

423
00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:20,894
you and Amy can drink as much as you want.

424
00:16:20,929 --> 00:16:22,233
Yeah, a few sips.

425
00:16:22,268 --> 00:16:25,245
Let's pretend we're French for the evening.

426
00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:46,353
Then the cop looked me dead in the eye,

427
00:16:46,387 --> 00:16:47,523
put down his flashlight,

428
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,898
and said, "you sucked how many?"...

429
00:16:54,516 --> 00:16:56,924
Honestly, that story gets funnier...

430
00:16:56,959 --> 00:16:58,864
every time I hear it.

431
00:16:58,899 --> 00:17:00,237
Oh, God.

432
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:01,943
Oh.

433
00:17:21,282 --> 00:17:22,820
You don't know how I feel.

434
00:17:22,855 --> 00:17:26,869
I can't believe it!

435
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:28,709
I'm...In...

436
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:32,489
Oh, these are tears I don't mind crying.

437
00:17:32,524 --> 00:17:35,702
Tears of laughter.
Yeah, laughter and camaraderie.

438
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,884
- Awww.
- Yeah.

439
00:17:39,919 --> 00:17:41,323
<i>Ah, cin-cin.</i>

440
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:53,099
Yahhhhh!

441
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:01,229
We're sorry.

442
00:18:01,264 --> 00:18:02,600
Your cellular account has been suspended...

443
00:18:02,636 --> 00:18:03,772
due to nonpayment.

444
00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:05,846
To speak...

445
00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:23,644
Hey, keep it down!

446
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,685
Ow.

447
00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:28,595
I love that I just, like, caught RJ...

448
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,669
eating his own poopy.

449
00:18:30,704 --> 00:18:32,977
- Mom, enough.
- You ate your own poop?

450
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,583
- Oh, that ain't right.
- It was Thanksgiving.

451
00:18:34,617 --> 00:18:35,787
You know, I think my little gobbler...

452
00:18:35,821 --> 00:18:37,727
just wanted a pre-Turkey snack.

453
00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:39,935
- Okay, mom.
- Goddamn, son.

454
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:41,273
Well, remind me never to kiss you again.

455
00:18:41,307 --> 00:18:43,614
I honestly thought it was pumpkin pie.

456
00:18:43,649 --> 00:18:44,785
But what are you gonna do?

457
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,959
11-year-olds, you know?

458
00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:48,966
- Uh, you were 11?
- It was a bad year.

459
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,672
It was. It was a bad year.

460
00:18:50,706 --> 00:18:52,110
Well, it's getting kinda late.

461
00:18:52,145 --> 00:18:54,118
Um, we should be...

462
00:18:54,152 --> 00:18:55,657
Opening up another bottle.

463
00:18:55,692 --> 00:18:56,996
I completely agree.

464
00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,524
Pray tell,

465
00:19:04,558 --> 00:19:06,732
what strange manner of dress is this?

466
00:19:08,205 --> 00:19:09,208
Oh, snap!

467
00:19:09,242 --> 00:19:11,650
I done ended up in olden times.

468
00:19:14,462 --> 00:19:15,832
Hey, quit it!

469
00:19:15,868 --> 00:19:17,506
No!

470
00:19:24,098 --> 00:19:25,636
I'll get it.

471
00:19:25,671 --> 00:19:27,142
If that's the neighbor
telling us to keep it down,

472
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:30,120
I'll kick... I'll kick his damn ass!

473
00:19:30,154 --> 00:19:32,361
I bet you will.

474
00:19:34,670 --> 00:19:37,237
Dad.

475
00:19:37,662 --> 00:19:40,153
- I counted on you, RJ.
- Son of a bitch.

476
00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:43,234
I counted on you,
and you weren't there for me.

477
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,311
Good evening, Amy. Hi, Mr. Berger.

478
00:19:45,346 --> 00:19:47,491
- Jeriba.
- Mm.

479
00:19:47,527 --> 00:19:50,121
Guess who's coming to dinner.

480
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,333
You're drunk, Rick.

481
00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:52,717
- Ohhh.
- Now, honey.

482
00:19:52,753 --> 00:19:54,967
You're pretty [bleep]ed up yourself.

483
00:19:55,002 --> 00:19:56,178
Jeriba, please.

484
00:19:56,214 --> 00:19:57,458
Dad, I understand that you're mad.

485
00:19:57,494 --> 00:19:58,497
I'm not mad.

486
00:19:58,532 --> 00:20:00,158
I'm just...

487
00:20:00,194 --> 00:20:01,266
Broken-hearted.

488
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,650
Dad, I'll go with you right now,

489
00:20:02,686 --> 00:20:04,034
and we'll watch the movie.

490
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,454
Don't bother. You have
a new brown knight now.

491
00:20:05,489 --> 00:20:06,699
Hey!

492
00:20:06,735 --> 00:20:09,504
That's some racist bull[bleep]
right there, Berger.

493
00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:10,785
Dad, it's not like that.

494
00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,516
Mm.

495
00:20:12,551 --> 00:20:15,216
Enjoy each other.

496
00:20:19,441 --> 00:20:20,651
Well, one thing worse than a run-in...

497
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:21,690
with your drunk daddy.

498
00:20:21,726 --> 00:20:23,214
That's a run-in...

499
00:20:23,249 --> 00:20:25,463
with your drunk daddy
and a cold skirt steak.

500
00:20:25,499 --> 00:20:26,770
My name is RJ Berger,

501
00:20:26,918 --> 00:20:30,780
and please let me wake
up from this nightmare.

502
00:20:34,506 --> 00:20:44,177
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

