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{6}Next:***
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*****
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today the Pentagon released eye tape
seized in Sunday's raid in Pakistan,
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purported to be osama bin
laden's last will and testament.
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The tape runs about three minutes.
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Translator: Allah be praised.
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I, osama bin laden, being
in present and good health
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and of sound mind and
memory, thanks be to Allah,
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hereby declare the following to
be my last will and testament.
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First, as to my funeral arrangements,
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it is my wish that they be conducted
in strict accordance with islamic law.
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As pallbearers, I designate
my five oldest sons
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and Dakota fanning.
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If Dakota fanning is
positively unavailable,
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my executors may replace her
with a Dakota fanning look-alike,
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although I do ask that they try
to get the real Dakota fanning
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if that is at all possible.
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If by the time of my death
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Dakota fanning is over 12 years of age
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or is no longer a virgin,
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my executors are to replace her with
her younger sister if she has one.
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Although, again, a 12-year-old
virgin Dakota fanning
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is my absolute first choice.
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Second, as to my place of burial,
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I leave the decision to my
executors, provided that wherever it is,
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they do not bury me at sea.
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As my family well knows, I have a
deathly fear of being eaten by fish,
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so I'm very serious about this.
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Do not bury me at sea.
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Third, as executor to this, my
last will and testament,
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I name my dear friends at the
Pakistani intelligence services.
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They are solid, reliable people
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and, may I add, among the few
individuals a person can still trust
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in this corrupt, cynical
world we live in.
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Fourth, as a special bequest
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to my devoted human shield, fatima,
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I leave an autographed picture
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along with the bulletproof
vest she always asks about.
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Finally, before I discuss the
disposition of my worldly estate
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consisting of cash, stocks, bonds,
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annuities and certificates of deposit,
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my heirs need to understand
the following points.
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First, the size of my personal fortune
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has always been greatly
exaggerated by the media.
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Frankly, I have no idea where
they get some of their numbers.
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Second, bear in mind that
my investment portfolio
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was badly hurt by the
market downturn in 2008,
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plus the subsequent flash crash
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and is not fully recovered.
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In addition, I have incurred a number
of major expenses in the last few years,
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building my compound, paying
bodyguards and couriers,
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training and equipping jihadists,
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medical expenses, laundry,
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office supplies, sandals and so on.
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So that should be factored in as well.
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Also, with 115
children, 750 grandchildren,
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and 11,000 nieces and nephews,
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each individual share may not be as
large as he or she may have anticipated.
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So all that having been
said, I hereby leave to my heirs
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to be divided among them equally,
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my entire personal estate currently
valued at 3,600,000 Pakistani ruppees
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or $781.61 U.S.
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Obviously, this is not as much
as you or I would have hoped for,
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but there you have it. It is what it is.
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Also, some of this, I
imagine, will go to probate fees.
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Now, I know that many of you must be
disappointed at the size of the estate,
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and I suppose that now I'm
suddenly some kind of bad person.
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Do I wish the estate
were larger? Of course.
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I wish a lot of things.
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I wish we had outdoor air conditioning.
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I wish mecca had better restaurants.
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I wish camel poop
tasted like spicy hummus,
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but guess what? It doesn't.
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So I leave you with this.
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Instead of complaining
about what we don't have,
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let's just be thankful for what we do.
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Our health, each
other... and best of all,
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the knowledge that try as they might,
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the Americans will never catch me.
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Isn't that the most important thing?
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I hereby declare the above to
be my last will and testament,
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and live from new
York, it's Saturday night.
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-=http://bbs.Sfileydy.Com=-
-=http://ytet.Org=-
proudly presents
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-=http://bbs.Sfileydy.Com=-
-=http://ytet.Org=-
sync: ¿¨»Ò ÎíÓê.
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Saturday.Night.Live s36e20
== www.Addic7ed.Com ==
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with Fred armisen
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Abby elliott
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bill hader
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Seth meyers
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Bobby moynihan
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Andy samberg
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Jason sudeikis
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kenan Thompson
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kristen wiig
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featuring -
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Vanessa bayer
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Paul brittain
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taran killam
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00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:09,660
nasim pedrad
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Jay pharoah
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musical guest
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Ellie goulding
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and your host, tina fey!
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Ladies and gentlemen, tina fey!
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Thank you.
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Thank you very much.
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It is great to be here
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hosting the mother's day
episode of "Saturday night live."
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And I know there is kind of a
famous impression I do on the show,
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and maybe people are wondering
if I'm going to do it.
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So here it is.
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I sure do like them there
French fried potatoes.
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Okay, I did it. We can all relax.
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This is a really exciting time for me.
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I have the number one
book in the country.
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And the number 86 tv show.
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And I don't know if you
guys noticed when I came out,
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but I have been drinking a lot of beer.
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And I'm expecting my second child.
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Because I am six months pregnant,
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this should make for some
exciting live television.
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Be sure to keep your at-home
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there is an incredibly good chance
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that I will accidentally break wind at
someepoint during tonight's performance.
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And it is mother's day, and I
am the "snl" family right now.
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So please welcome the
fabulous Maya Rudolph.
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Thanks for having me, tina.
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That's what our babies
are going to be saying.
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You know, I think I speak for Maya when
I say we really love being mothers.
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And I think I speak for Tina
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when I say we can't wait to
meet our precious new ones.
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We have so much to tell them.
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Maybe we should start right now.
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Sweet little baby
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tiny little darling
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I cannot wait to know you
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I can feel you kick me
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so happy that you picked me
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I cannot wait to hold you
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I look into your eyes
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and see my little copy
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the reason that you're here
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is your parents got real sloppy
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that's right.
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And you are the proof that
we've been doing it doing it
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making super sexy heat your mom
and dad have been doing it doing it
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baby you are the receipt
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baby you endorse
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that we've been having intercourse
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oh baby
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oh baby baby baby baby
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I have so many things I
want to say to you, baby.
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Baby, thank you for my
ginormous temporary tatas.
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I promise to work them in bikini
tops until the moment you are born.
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Baby, I'm sorry about that three weeks
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that I didn't know you were in there.
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The little Sushi rose wine and
roller coasters never hurt nobody.
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Promise me baby that
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if you're a lady, don't
move in with Charlie sheen
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or whoever is Charlie
sheen at that future time.
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Probably still Charlie sheen.
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That son of a bitch is
going to live forever.
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Yep.
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Baby, when you're coming out,
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I may call you some
names I didn't really mean
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like uterus hog, damn jerk.
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And the only one I
meant, pain in the vagina.
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Baby, when you gre ow up, dot
make the same mistakes I made,
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specifically getting drunk on rose wine
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and having unprotected sex on
a roller coaster at epcot Japan.
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P baby, no matter what I say always know
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that mama loves you as
much as she loves doing it.
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Now with the help of science
and a sonogram machine,
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*****
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we will do duets with our
unborn feti Natalie Cole style.
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You're my baby
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I'm your baby you're my mother
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I'm your mother
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*****
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when we say that we've been doing it
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we mean love
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love
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Ellie goulding is here!
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And now a special fox news presentation.
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Live at Daniel Webster college
in nashua, new Hampshire.
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It's the 2012 undeclared
candidates debate
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with your host, shepard Smith.
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I'm Shepard Smith.
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My voice is both reassuring
and deeply unsettling.
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Welcome this week's second gop debate.
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On thhrsday five official republican
candidates squared off in South Carolina.
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The debate included Ron
Paul, tim pawlenty, rick santorum
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and I'm going to stop
there before I fall asleep.
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Why don't we shift from the candidates
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you don't know much about to
candidates you wish you knew less about.
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Please welcome former
Massachusetts governor mitt romney.
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****
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00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:06,760
I've been smiling for the last four
years, but I haven't been happy once.
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00:13:09,530 --> 00:13:12,210
Former speaker of the
house, newt gingrich.
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00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,560
I love the '90s.
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00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,330
Minnesota congresswoman
Michele bachmann.
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00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,670
It's a pleasure to be here.
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Current famous person Sarah Palin.
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Hi there.
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00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:31,410
You know, it's just so great
to be back on fox news,
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00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:36,350
a network that both pays me and
shows me the questions ahead of time.
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00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:40,980
And I hope that tonight the
lamestream media won't twist my words
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00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:43,440
by repeating them verbatim.
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00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,670
And the Andrew "dice" Clay of the
real estate world, donald trump.
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00:13:53,410 --> 00:13:57,900
The ratings for tonight's
debate are going to be huge!
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00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:00,920
As big as last Sunday's "apprentice"
212
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:05,100
where star Jones got so mad
she almost popped a staple.
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00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:13,030
Plus, at the end, we finally
killed osama bin laden.
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00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:16,210
Osama, boom, you're fired.
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00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:22,090
Finally, he was uninvited but fought his
way through security and refuses to leave,
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00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,940
former New York gubernatorial candidate
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00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:28,720
and current member of the podiums are
too damn expensive party, jimmy mcmillen.
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00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,320
Allow me to reintroduce myself.
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00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,990
My name is Jimmy mcmillen,
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00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:39,190
and I believe with the
help of America's voters,
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00:14:39,190 --> 00:14:42,320
I could be this nation's
last black president.
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00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:46,820
We begin with mitt romney.
You ran and lost in 2008.
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00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:49,140
What make you think you
have a chance this time?
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00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,440
Peoole say a lot of things about me.
225
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,350
They say I'm
rich, disconnected, a dead fish,
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00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:57,210
they say I look like a
villain in a lifetime movie.
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00:14:57,210 --> 00:14:59,030
Look out, meredith baxt Baxter-birney.
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00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:03,550
Why do they let me talk
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00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,920
****
230
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,750
in newt gingrich, you've
never ran for president
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00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,720
and I have a feeling you don't want to.
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00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,690
Would you like to duck out early?
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00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:13,750
Yeah, I'd love to.
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00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:20,370
Bye, newt.
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00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:24,470
Michele bachmann. When msnbc wants to
scare liberals into caring about elections,
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00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:26,170
they have you on as a guest.
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00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,910
Hhw can you win over
the independent voters?
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00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:34,460
Shepard, I'm hoping to establish a
fatal attraction situation with America.
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00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:39,470
First I'll come off as intense
and even a little bit sexy.
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00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,440
Over time the intensity
will become overwhelming
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00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,750
and you'll begin to fear what
I will do if you make me angry.
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00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:49,920
A crazy woman untethered
can be a dangerous thing.
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00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:54,900
Cars get keyed, on your doorstep.
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00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,960
You'll decide it's safer to marry
me so you can keep an eye on me.
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00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,780
America, I challenge you
to a staring contest.
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00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:06,920
And it begins now.
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00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:14,920
Well, mark me down as scared and horny.
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00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:18,850
Sarah Palin, many thought you
needed to bone up on policy
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00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:21,070
to be a serious candidate in 2012.
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00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:25,310
Instead you seem to have done the opposite,
focusing on reality television and Twitter.
251
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:28,820
What, if anything, new do you have
to offer the American people?
252
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,640
Well, first, I want to acknowledge
253
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:35,100
that this week we finally vanquished
one of the world's great villains,
254
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:39,920
Ann I, foo one, am thrilled to say
good riddance to Katie Couric.
255
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,810
As for boning up on
experience and policy,
256
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,670
I'm planning a trip to the middle east
257
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:53,290
where I will be flipping a cameo in
"hangover 3," the third "hangover."
258
00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:56,840
The fellows go to a bar, and I'm there.
259
00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:01,050
I also recently purchased
rosetta stone English.
260
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,580
But the important
thing for people to know
261
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:08,850
is that I'm going to be running
for president every four years
262
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:11,120
for the rest of my life.
263
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:15,740
It's my Olympics, and I intend
to win a whole bunch of silvers.
264
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,270
Donald trump. Go.
265
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,420
You're welcome.
266
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:30,060
You know, there's a great American
movie called "citizen Kane."
267
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:33,280
It's about a man who kicks
ass and makes a ton of money.
268
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,780
I haven't seen the ending of this movie,
269
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:38,030
but I assume it ends with
him happy and president.
270
00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:41,050
I want to be your citizen trump.
271
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:45,090
And if you criticize me, just
remember, I'm rubber and you're gold.
272
00:17:45,090 --> 00:17:49,170
So whatever you say
doesn't you're losers.
273
00:17:50,410 --> 00:17:52,490
Except you.
274
00:17:52,870 --> 00:17:56,800
Sarah Palin, I like you.
275
00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:01,880
If you want to be my vice president,
276
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,000
all you have to do is sell more chili
277
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,100
than nene atlant leakes over the course
of a hot summer day in Times Square.
278
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:14,470
To conclude, this is a great time
for this nation's greatest man, me.
279
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:18,200
"The celebrity apprentice"
Sundays at 9:00 P.M. only on nbc.
280
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,160
Bing, bong, bbom. You're fired. I'm hired.
281
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,960
As president, you're
fired. "The apprentice."
282
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,110
And finally, jimmy mcmillan.
283
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:35,170
Well, first, I want to address
those in the birther movement
284
00:18:35,170 --> 00:18:37,880
who claim I was born a Billy goat.
285
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,510
Your suspicions are confirmed.
286
00:18:41,510 --> 00:18:44,950
Part "c," I have recently
received intelligence
287
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:47,580
that osama bin laden
is hiding in the ocean.
288
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:50,710
I will not rest until I find him.
289
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,430
So this mother's day, vote
for me, the black lorax.
290
00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:58,290
Now, let this debate begin!
291
00:18:58,290 --> 00:19:00,710
That concludes tooighh's debate.
292
00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:04,620
And in closing, I'd like to congratulate
Barack Obama on his re-election.
293
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:08,360
I'm Shepard Smith. And
I'm a silly little catfish.
294
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,590
Good night.
295
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:23,470
May***
296
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:46,240
oh, crabby, the human world is so amazing.
297
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:50,380
Wwen I went up there, I saw people
dancing and seahorse-less carriages
298
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:53,880
and I even found a watchamadoodle.
299
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,420
Princess, look around you.
300
00:19:56,420 --> 00:20:00,210
You have everything you need right
here at the bottom of the ocean.
301
00:20:00,210 --> 00:20:01,890
I don't know, crabby.
302
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,960
Trust me, girl. The
human world is a mess.
303
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,150
But down here, it's paradise.
304
00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:09,540
What do you mean, crabby?
305
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:11,800
Well, I'll tell you what I mean.
306
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:18,580
Below the waves below the waves
307
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:21,760
we're always gabbing
308
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,250
below the waves take it princess
309
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:27,030
everyone's happy and relaxed
310
00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:30,050
we got a seahorse on the sax
311
00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:34,940
look at that manta he's
drinking fanta below the waves
312
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,330
you know what, crabby? You're right.
313
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:41,530
The bottom of the ocean
is the perfect place to be.
314
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:44,010
That's the spirit, princess.
315
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:48,710
All of the dolphins play
keyboard and the shrimp -
316
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:55,370
what is on me?
317
00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:57,620
Can somebody tell me
what's on me, please?
318
00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:00,600
It's some sort of body wrapped in a -
319
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,860
what's that word again? Shroud
320
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,340
oh, my God!
321
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,760
It's osama bin laden!
322
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,000
They threw bin laden's
body in the ocean.
323
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,010
Get him off of me.
324
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:16,240
Wow, he's really dead.
325
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,860
This is a lot to process. I
don't even know how to react.
326
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,980
I know how to react.
327
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,200
Usa! Usa!
328
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,120
Guys, I find that really distasteful.
329
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,120
But we got him!
330
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,420
You didn't do anything.
And you're drunk.
331
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:36,890
I'm drunk because I'm celebrating.
332
00:21:36,890 --> 00:21:41,530
And you're using this as
an excuse. To get drunker.
333
00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:44,630
Yeah, you got me.
334
00:21:45,110 --> 00:21:48,620
Can we talk about this after
you get him off me? Please?
335
00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,780
I mean, this guy caused 9/11.
336
00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,320
Did he?
337
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,060
Shut up.
338
00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:58,790
No one wants to hear your
conspiracy theories, manta.
339
00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:01,050
I have had it with these humans.
340
00:22:01,050 --> 00:22:04,320
They throw down their
garbage, their oil spills
341
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,110
and their cruise ships
use our home as a toilet.
342
00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:10,010
So do we. I'm going right now.
343
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,490
Besides, crabby, they probably
couldn't bury him on land
344
00:22:13,490 --> 00:22:17,270
because his supporters would
turn his grave into a shrine.
345
00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,670
So? Good.
346
00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:23,490
Bury him, and then when
anyone shows up, arrest them.
347
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:25,530
Or just bury him at gitmo.
348
00:22:25,530 --> 00:22:27,950
I'm here to see osama bin laden's grave.
349
00:22:27,950 --> 00:22:31,250
Oh, here he is right over
here. Welcome to jail.
350
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,400
Crabby, calm down.
You're turning all red.
351
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,120
I'm red because I'm a crab.
352
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:40,580
Now, get Obama off of me. I mean osama.
353
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,370
I keep doing that.
354
00:22:42,370 --> 00:22:44,950
Just one letter. Pretty weird, right?
355
00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:47,490
Shut up.
356
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:50,900
Look, crabby, the current
is taking his body away.
357
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:53,350
We'll never have to see himm again.
358
00:22:53,350 --> 00:22:55,150
If it was even him.
359
00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:03,500
Below the waves below the waves
360
00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:06,980
we always jamming down with the salmon
361
00:23:06,980 --> 00:23:09,150
below the waves
362
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,880
digital short
363
00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:19,170
an***
364
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,740
guys, michael Bolton is here.
365
00:23:22,740 --> 00:23:25,230
- Oh, great. Send him in.
- Hey, guys.
366
00:23:25,230 --> 00:23:27,370
- Hey, thanks for coming.
- Really sorry I'm late.
367
00:23:27,370 --> 00:23:29,970
I just got caught up watching "the
pirates oo the Caribbean" marathon.
368
00:23:29,970 --> 00:23:32,830
- Have you seen those things? -
Oh yeah. - Yeah, those are great.
369
00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:35,080
Well, I listened to your
track and I loved it.
370
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,280
And I wrote you this big, sexy hook
I think you're going to really dig.
371
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,520
Wow, that's great. You
want to just lay it down?
372
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,010
Boys. Let's get to it.
373
00:23:46,470 --> 00:23:48,180
Here we go
374
00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:50,880
lonely island Michael Bolton
375
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,990
together on the track the boys are back
376
00:23:55,990 --> 00:23:58,060
the night starts now starts now
377
00:23:58,060 --> 00:23:59,270
baby roll with us
378
00:23:59,270 --> 00:24:00,690
she'll be snapping at the neck
379
00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:02,650
when we rolling up rolling up
380
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:06,380
ain't no holding up black
car at the bar like I give a -
381
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:09,280
give me eyes when we walk into the set
382
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,970
brothers getting jealous
they about to get wrecked
383
00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:14,370
sound on my waste shank in my sock
384
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:17,030
you either get cut or get shot
385
00:24:17,030 --> 00:24:21,990
this is the tale of captain Jack sparrow
386
00:24:21,990 --> 00:24:26,450
pirates rave on seven seas
387
00:24:26,450 --> 00:24:31,670
- what.
- To the isle of tortuga
388
00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:36,610
raving like slaves on the ocean breeze
389
00:24:36,610 --> 00:24:39,170
yeah that was kind of weird
but we're back in the club
390
00:24:39,170 --> 00:24:41,700
buying up the bar with
the movie showing club
391
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:44,160
people like me I'm the top gunner
392
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,490
keep it on blast I'm
the number one stunner
393
00:24:46,490 --> 00:24:47,270
Jack sparrow
394
00:24:47,270 --> 00:24:49,200
touch it girl because I'm
not your mister nice guy
395
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,940
more like the mister
take you home and do ou
396
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:53,640
twice guy all dressed
up with nowhere to run
397
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,410
- and I'll make you feel crazy.
- Now back to the good part
398
00:24:56,410 --> 00:24:58,710
since he was born
399
00:24:58,710 --> 00:25:01,450
he yearned for adventure
400
00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:03,540
old captain Jack
401
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:06,170
the man was strong
402
00:25:06,170 --> 00:25:08,680
the sorcerer of the surf
403
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,320
the Jester of tortuga
404
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,580
Davy Jones locker
405
00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:16,220
- what lies in store.
- I've seen the movie
406
00:25:16,220 --> 00:25:18,680
put your hands in the air
and say hell yeah come on
407
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,900
captain Jack what Johnny depp
408
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,870
no hustle back saying
we count that come on
409
00:25:23,870 --> 00:25:25,880
Davy Jones giant squid
410
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,270
Michael Bolton we're really
going to need you to focus up
411
00:25:28,270 --> 00:25:30,840
Roger that let me try with another film
412
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,360
wait life is a box of chocolates
413
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,800
- and my name is ffrrest gump.
- Not better
414
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,620
I'm not the sharpest tool.
415
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,970
- I gave Jenny all my love.
- Come on
416
00:25:40,970 --> 00:25:43,350
I came in as a legal aide
417
00:25:43,350 --> 00:25:45,400
Erin brockovich is my name
418
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,180
- oh God.
- You can call me sccrface
419
00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:51,110
snorting mountains of cocaine
420
00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:53,130
you cockroaches want to play rough?
421
00:25:53,130 --> 00:25:55,780
Okay I'm reloaded
422
00:25:55,780 --> 00:26:00,850
this is the tale of Tony Montana
423
00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:05,560
a Cuban of fame with a Miami love
424
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:10,590
*****
425
00:26:10,590 --> 00:26:15,260
this small town just waiting
426
00:26:15,260 --> 00:26:20,700
*****
427
00:26:20,700 --> 00:26:23,000
you complete me
428
00:26:48,330 --> 00:26:50,620
ladies and gentlemen, ellie goulding.
429
00:26:58,570 --> 00:27:02,110
I had a way then
430
00:27:02,110 --> 00:27:06,070
losing it all on my own
431
00:27:06,630 --> 00:27:09,520
I had a heart then
432
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:14,860
but the queen has been overthrown
433
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:18,850
and I'm not sleeping now
434
00:27:18,850 --> 00:27:22,820
the dark is too hard to beat
435
00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:26,790
and I'm not keeping now
436
00:27:26,790 --> 00:27:30,620
the strength I need
437
00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:35,060
you show the lights ttat
stop me turn to stone
438
00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:38,460
you shine it when I'm alone
439
00:27:38,460 --> 00:27:43,180
and so I tell myself that I'll be strong
440
00:27:43,180 --> 00:27:46,100
and dreaming when they're gone
441
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:49,020
'cause they're calling calling,
442
00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:51,030
calling me home
443
00:27:51,030 --> 00:27:54,630
calling, calling, calling home
444
00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:59,110
you show the lights that
stop me turn to stonn
445
00:27:59,110 --> 00:28:03,390
you shine it when I'm alone
446
00:28:04,070 --> 00:28:10,540
I play within my head
447
00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:13,560
touch my own skin
448
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,880
and hope that I'm still breathing
449
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,540
and I think back to when
450
00:28:22,540 --> 00:28:27,060
my brother and my sister slept
451
00:28:27,060 --> 00:28:30,550
in an unlocked place
452
00:28:30,550 --> 00:28:34,620
the only time I feel safe
453
00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:39,170
you show the lights that
stop me turn to stone
454
00:28:39,170 --> 00:28:42,450
you shine it when I'm alone
455
00:28:42,450 --> 00:28:47,220
and so I tell myself that I'll be strong
456
00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:50,180
and dreaming when they're gone
457
00:28:50,180 --> 00:28:54,970
'cause they're calling
calling, calling me home
458
00:28:54,970 --> 00:28:58,590
calling, calling, calling home
459
00:28:58,590 --> 00:29:03,030
you show the lights that
stop me turn to stone
460
00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:06,890
you shine it when I'm alone
461
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:16,550
light, lights, lights, lights
light, lights, lights
462
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:27,040
you show the lights that
stop me turn to stone
463
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,620
you shine it when I'm alone
464
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:35,040
aad so I tell myself that I'll be strong
465
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,960
and dreaming when they're gone
466
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,940
'cause they're calling
calling, calling me home
467
00:29:42,940 --> 00:29:46,610
calling, calling calling home
468
00:29:46,610 --> 00:29:51,080
you show the lights that
stop me turn to stone
469
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,930
you shine it when I'm alone
470
00:29:54,930 --> 00:30:00,220
lights, lights, lights, lights
lights, lights, lights
471
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,590
weekend update
472
00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:42,190
"weekend update" with
473
00:30:45,530 --> 00:30:49,590
good evening, I'm Seth meyers, and
here are tonight's top stories.
474
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,930
{6}Dead
475
00:30:57,580 --> 00:31:01,520
{6}Not armed
476
00:30:49,930 --> 00:30:51,740
well, somewhere high above us,
477
00:30:51,740 --> 00:30:55,590
there's 72 super bummed-out virgins.
478
00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:58,530
The white house on Tuesday revealed
479
00:30:58,530 --> 00:31:01,830
that osama bin laden was not armed
when Navy s.E.A.L.S found him,
480
00:31:01,830 --> 00:31:03,670
but they say he did resist them.
481
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:06,750
Hey, white house, armed, unarmed, not
resisting, holding a bunny,
482
00:31:06,750 --> 00:31:10,040
we're totally cool with
you shooting bin laden.
483
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:19,420
So, I'm guessing this week everybody looked
like a Navy s.E.A.L. To moammar gadhafi.
484
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,250
{6}Muammar qaddafi
485
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,570
dude, do not sneak up on me like that!
486
00:31:24,930 --> 00:31:27,460
{6}Al***
487
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,760
al qaeda on Friday released a statement
confirming the death of osama bin laden.
488
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,790
They also announced that as a
result, monday will be a half day.
489
00:31:36,930 --> 00:31:40,040
{6}Conspiracy***
490
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,760
in the wake of president
Obama's decision
491
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,770
to not release pictures
of osama bin laden's body,
492
00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:43,390
a number of new conspiracy
theories are surfacing
493
00:31:43,390 --> 00:31:45,550
claiming that bin
laden is not really dead
494
00:31:45,550 --> 00:31:47,900
which means Barack Obama
will go down in history
495
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:49,930
as the first black person ever
496
00:31:49,930 --> 00:31:53,120
o have to prove that he killed someone.
497
00:31:56,130 --> 00:31:57,670
First one.
498
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,210
{6}Approval***
499
00:31:59,590 --> 00:32:01,500
in the wake of the
killing of osama bin laden,
500
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:04,910
president Obama's approval
rating jumped to 56%,
501
00:32:04,910 --> 00:32:06,400
his highest in two years,
502
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:11,910
which shows that there is literally
nothing he can do to please the other 44%.
503
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:18,500
Week's big story, please
welcome the devil.
504
00:32:27,670 --> 00:32:28,920
Hi, the devil.
505
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,950
You don't seem like
your usual, upbeat self.
506
00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:32,600
Didn't you hear, we got bin laden?
507
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,530
Yeah. Yeah, you got bin laden.
508
00:32:36,050 --> 00:32:37,920
You know what that means, right?
509
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,780
Now I got bin laden.
510
00:32:40,780 --> 00:32:42,120
So?
511
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:49,280
You know how it's my job to
could ever imagine? All right?
512
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:55,900
He was already living in a walled-in
compound with 9 wives and 23 kids.
513
00:32:57,490 --> 00:32:58,760
Usually when people come to hell,
514
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:02,780
the first thing I do is give
them four wives and seven kids.
515
00:33:02,780 --> 00:33:06,830
But 9 and 23? Ooh, my
goodness, no! Alllright?
516
00:33:06,830 --> 00:33:10,660
And a place where he was, you
know, staying in had no Internet, okay?
517
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:12,060
No Internet at all.
518
00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,830
I mean, even in hell we have dial-up.
519
00:33:16,510 --> 00:33:20,110
I may be the devil, but
I'm not a monster.
520
00:33:21,070 --> 00:33:23,620
- I don't want to tell you how to do your job.
- Then don't.
521
00:33:23,620 --> 00:33:26,410
Why not just hit him with
some fire and brimstone?
522
00:33:26,620 --> 00:33:31,640
Yeah, you know what they call fire and
brimstone in Pakistan, seth? August.
523
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:33,750
This is a tough one, man.
524
00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:35,560
Look, you're the devil.
525
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,720
I'm sure you'll think of something.
526
00:33:39,340 --> 00:33:41,100
Thanks, bro.
527
00:33:41,630 --> 00:33:44,600
It's so rare for people
to be so encouraging to me.
528
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,940
I kind of consider you a friend.
529
00:33:45,940 --> 00:33:49,550
- Oh, don't.
- No, I do. I do. It's already done.
530
00:33:49,550 --> 00:33:53,520
Any-hell I just don't like, you
know, the guy being there, okay?
531
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:54,680
He gives everyone the willies.
532
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,400
The other day I heard Jeffrey
dahmer say "not in my backyard."
533
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:03,730
And I do not like the fact that
bin laden calls America the &
534
00:34:03,730 --> 00:34:05,630
sorry.
535
00:34:05,630 --> 00:34:09,020
Copyright and trrdemark since, I
don't know, the beginning of time.
536
00:34:09,020 --> 00:34:12,540
Okay? Yo soy el diablo, comprendo?
537
00:34:12,540 --> 00:34:15,700
Major balls on that dude. Major balls.
538
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:18,610
And guess this. The very first
day, walks right up to me and goes,
539
00:34:18,610 --> 00:34:22,150
okay. Where's my 72 virgins?
540
00:34:22,530 --> 00:34:23,730
Bro, this is hell.
541
00:34:23,730 --> 00:34:26,420
It's not exactly crawling with virgins.
542
00:34:26,420 --> 00:34:29,170
You take what you gets around here.
543
00:34:31,050 --> 00:34:33,240
I'm sorry to hear it's not going well.
544
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,740
- There's not even a word for this.
- What do you mean?
545
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:40,150
This is awkward, but we can't find him.
546
00:34:40,150 --> 00:34:42,860
- You lost him?
- No, no. No...
547
00:34:42,860 --> 00:34:44,900
We lost track of him temporarily.
548
00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:46,300
I'm certain of it.
549
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:48,150
I'm sure he'll pop up.
550
00:34:48,150 --> 00:34:52,830
And hey, if you're osama, you
know, I will find you.
551
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,130
You think he's watching?
You have tv in hell?
552
00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:56,870
Just nbc.
553
00:34:58,610 --> 00:35:00,980
Whatever happened to "outsource"?
554
00:35:00,980 --> 00:35:03,040
I loved that show.
555
00:35:03,140 --> 00:35:05,970
It was a riot.
556
00:35:06,620 --> 00:35:07,990
So what else is going on with you?
557
00:35:07,990 --> 00:35:09,950
Me? Well, it's New York City.
558
00:35:09,950 --> 00:35:13,080
So I've got to go sit on some shoulders
down in the financial district.
559
00:35:13,220 --> 00:35:14,430
****
560
00:35:14,430 --> 00:35:18,840
in queens, I've got to make a cameo
in some meth addict's hallucination.
561
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,490
Teaching a seminar to the
Pakistani intelligence agency
562
00:35:22,490 --> 00:35:24,740
called see something, don't
say something.
563
00:35:26,730 --> 00:35:29,410
Then, of course, tomorrow I've
got to take my mom out to brunch.
564
00:35:29,410 --> 00:35:31,050
Speaking of hell.
565
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:34,370
- That's nice. Who's your mom?
- The snapple lady.
566
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:37,850
- She seems so nicee.
- Yeah, she is.
567
00:35:37,850 --> 00:35:40,630
No, she's super disappointed in mol.
568
00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:44,000
- The devil, everybody.
- ***
569
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:52,280
{6}Boy rescued
570
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:56,620
a teenage boy in Alaska was arrested by police
when he started riding a chunk of ice down a river.
571
00:35:56,730 --> 00:36:01,820
New history channel reality
show "ice chunk dummies."
572
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:07,070
It was announced Monday that the black eyed
peas will hold a free concert this summer.
573
00:36:07,190 --> 00:36:11,800
A free Black Eyed Peas concert, that's
just too true to be good.
574
00:35:59,460 --> 00:36:02,720
Icechunk dummies
575
00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:07,800
{6}Free cincert
576
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:22,470
{6}Oldest newlyweds
577
00:36:16,260 --> 00:36:20,370
a 100-year-old man in California this
week married his 93-year-old girlfriend.
578
00:36:20,620 --> 00:36:24,690
I don't know, dude. Onn woman
for the rest of your life?
579
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:34,190
This Wednesday, may 4th, was "star wars"
day as in may the 4th be with you.
580
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:39,610
Yeah, I get it. Just fix my
e-mail and get out of my office.
581
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,120
P while people around the world are
rejoicing over the demise of osama bin laden,
582
00:36:48,310 --> 00:36:52,570
several anti-American leaders still remain
in power such as Libya's moammar gadhafi
583
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,880
who many considdr to
be a serious threat.
584
00:36:55,060 --> 00:36:58,930
Here to defend him are gadhafi's
two best friends from growing up.
585
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,990
{6}Gaddafi's two best
friends from growing up
586
00:37:01,140 --> 00:37:03,550
hi, seth. Thank you.
587
00:37:04,950 --> 00:37:09,050
Moammar gadhafi is one of the hate hatest, most
ruthless duck tat r dictators in the world.
588
00:37:09,220 --> 00:37:12,340
***********
589
00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:17,630
****************
590
00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:22,010
***we're happy for him.lf he's
successful, it's the best in the world.
591
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,900
It's just kind of
weird, like he's very, like -
592
00:37:26,050 --> 00:37:30,570
- obsessed. Like just talks about himself.
- Himself.
593
00:37:30,690 --> 00:37:33,890
Talks about people he
hates. We, like, go to lunch.
594
00:37:34,020 --> 00:37:37,380
And, like, okay, I'll be
talking about my career.
595
00:37:37,770 --> 00:37:39,320
I'm sorry, your what?
596
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,400
My career. And I'm, like, oh.
597
00:37:42,540 --> 00:37:46,790
I'm doing really well. He's really
sweet and o cf1 o everything.
598
00:37:46,910 --> 00:37:51,340
And he'll just, like, turn and he'll
be, like, I just fired d l my generals.
599
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,370
Guys, I'm sorry, I can't
really hear you guys.
600
00:38:00,490 --> 00:38:02,680
- Are you saying you don't like him?
- No.
601
00:38:02,870 --> 00:38:06,390
- ***we'd do anything for him.
- He's totally like myybuddy.
602
00:38:06,530 --> 00:38:10,830
It's just that when he gets that way,
603
00:38:10,950 --> 00:38:14,510
that's not really how friendship works.
604
00:38:14,630 --> 00:38:17,050
That's not friendship.
605
00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:19,990
We're all sitting around
laughing. The waiter comes around.
606
00:38:20,110 --> 00:38:25,340
So ******oh, somebody's going
to skip dessert. We're all good.
607
00:38:28,130 --> 00:38:32,810
Don't do that. Like a joke.
608
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,580
- It hurts my feelings.
- Okay, guys.
609
00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:38,230
- You know you're on tv, right?
- No, no, no.
610
00:38:39,220 --> 00:38:43,230
- His our friend and he's smart.
- He's under a lot of pressure. We get it.
611
00:38:50,210 --> 00:38:56,910
And then he just laughed and was, like, you
guys are going to go straight to the press
612
00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:01,430
and make me look likeea maniac.*****why?
613
00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:06,520
Don't do that.
614
00:39:07,270 --> 00:39:08,660
Okay. You know, I'm sorry.
615
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,440
Okay. I really can't hear you at all,
616
00:39:10,570 --> 00:39:13,100
but it sounds like being best friends
with gadhafi can be challenging.
617
00:39:13,230 --> 00:39:15,650
It's kind of like your
relationship with Tina.
618
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:18,280
It's not anything like that. I love Tina.
619
00:39:18,410 --> 00:39:20,760
I will say -
620
00:39:25,130 --> 00:39:27,520
Seth meyers, eeerybody.
621
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:30,580
Gadhafi's best friends from growing up.
622
00:39:33,310 --> 00:39:36,740
{6}Cdc heat cold cuts
623
00:39:36,150 --> 00:39:39,220
in order to reduce the
risk of listeria bacteria,
624
00:39:39,290 --> 00:39:43,900
the centers for disease control has been warning
to people over the age of 50 to heat cold uts
625
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,140
or as they will now be known, cuts.
626
00:39:51,210 --> 00:39:56,540
{6}Sex study
627
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:56,470
a new study finds that the average college-age
man thinks about sex 18 times a day.
628
00:39:56,730 --> 00:39:59,650
Oh, I'm sorry.I left
out the ord "bazillion."
629
00:39:59,860 --> 00:40:02,820
18 bazillion times a day.
630
00:40:03,310 --> 00:40:07,550
This week children more than 1,700
schools in north America sang the song.
631
00:40:07,810 --> 00:40:11,440
"I want to play" at the same time
while simultaneously in China,
632
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,740
over 1 billion kids were doing math.
633
00:40:03,410 --> 00:40:08,270
{6}Group sing
634
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:23,380
tomorrow's mother's day,
635
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,430
and thousands of new yorkers will be taking
their moms out for a big day in the big apple.
636
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:33,350
Here with some tips on where to celebrate your
mom's special day is our city correspondent, stefan.
637
00:40:45,950 --> 00:40:47,510
- Hi.
- Hi.
638
00:40:47,610 --> 00:40:51,190
- Stefan, how you been?
- The same.
639
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,530
- Yeah. Crazy about bin laden, huh?
- I know. That guy's hilarious.
640
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,490
Okay, stefan. A lot of people are taking
their moms out on the town tomorrow.
641
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,360
Any tips on where they can go to
have a fun-filled mother's day?
642
00:41:03,470 --> 00:41:07,200
Yes. If you want your mom to have a
ddy filled with fun, look no further.
643
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:10,630
New York's hottest club is ugh!
644
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:15,320
Located in the middle
of the West Side highway.
645
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,650
It's created by club
owner baloney danza.
646
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,690
This place has
everything, split kicks, pachucos,
647
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,180
pile after pile of expired lunchables.
648
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:33,350
A Hawaiian cleaning lady that
looks like smoky Robinson.
649
00:41:33,740 --> 00:41:35,740
And look who just walked
in. Is that Natalie Portman?
650
00:41:35,940 --> 00:41:40,740
No, it's an old Irish black
man that we call Murphy brown.
651
00:41:43,310 --> 00:41:48,090
Plus, if you come this Sunday, you'll meet
2-year-old ultimate fighter drooly lips Jackson.
652
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,900
He's got fists like emppnadas,
653
00:41:56,380 --> 00:41:58,400
and he is my best friend.
654
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,350
- We'll get to meet him if we come this Sunday?
- ****
655
00:42:03,570 --> 00:42:05,210
- bad job.
- Why?
656
00:42:05,410 --> 00:42:07,790
Stefan, when I said a
place to take your mom,
657
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,370
I was looking for somewhere more wholesome.You
know, a lot of people's moms are a little older
658
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,540
and want to go somewhere
nice and relaxing.
659
00:42:15,710 --> 00:42:19,580
- *******thaa?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
660
00:42:19,730 --> 00:42:23,620
If you're looking to relax with
an old lady, look no further.
661
00:42:23,830 --> 00:42:28,090
New York's hottest club is sparky!
662
00:42:32,270 --> 00:42:35,650
- Spicey?
- Spicy.
663
00:42:37,860 --> 00:42:42,590
Opens in 2017 on the upper
east side of a dumpster.
664
00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:56,790
This 24-hour bitch fest is the creation
of club owner rabbi Jew diamond Phillips.
665
00:43:01,130 --> 00:43:03,770
This place has everything. Sand worms,
666
00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:09,530
geishas, rock eaters, a seven-level
course in adult education.
667
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:14,400
And it you want to relax, you can kick
back in your very own subway sleeping bag.
668
00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:17,320
What is a subway sleeping bag?
669
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:22,740
It's that thing when you're on the train
and you sit between two guys in fubu jackets.
670
00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:31,590
Name one mother that would like that.
671
00:43:31,850 --> 00:43:33,660
My mom. Miss Stefan.
672
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,800
Oh really? What's your
dad's name? Mr. Steean?
673
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,240
No, it's David bowie.
674
00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:42,520
- Stefan, look.
- Oh, I'm looking.
675
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,980
I'm asking for your help here. I'm
going over to my mother's tomorrow.
676
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:49,650
- Don't you think it's time we met?
- And I'm taking my girlfriend.
677
00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:56,970
I want my mom to have a great I mean,
678
00:43:57,170 --> 00:44:00,870
- this woman raised me and changed my diapers.
- Lucky lady.
679
00:44:08,690 --> 00:44:11,800
And I want to thank her for doing the
toughest job in the world, being a mom.
680
00:44:11,990 --> 00:44:15,020
That was beautiful.And
I think I can help.
681
00:44:15,140 --> 00:44:16,870
If you want to say
thank you to your mom,
682
00:44:17,060 --> 00:44:18,670
- take her to central park.
- This I like.
683
00:44:18,820 --> 00:44:22,310
And bond while flying a human kite.
684
00:44:22,380 --> 00:44:27,980
- What's a human kite?
- It's that thing where you tie a string to a midget and a windbreaker
685
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,040
and then you run through a field.
686
00:44:31,690 --> 00:44:34,020
Stefan!
687
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:36,640
What did I do? I'm helping you learn.
688
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,740
Are you going to take your mom to
fly a human kite for mother's day?
689
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,660
Miss Stefan's out of town.
I'm all alone on mother's day.
690
00:44:46,660 --> 00:44:49,550
I had no idea. Even though
you didn't help tonight at all,
691
00:44:49,930 --> 00:44:52,660
no young club kid should
be alone on mother's day.
692
00:44:52,930 --> 00:44:55,110
Why don't ou come with
me and meet my mom.
693
00:44:55,220 --> 00:44:57,170
- Sleepover!
- Stefan, eveeybody.
694
00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:02,230
- Hi, mom.***
- *****
695
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:19,290
okay, guys.
696
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:24,210
Over the last few weeks we've talked about
epidurals and other pain management options.
697
00:45:24,420 --> 00:45:28,850
But how many of you are
planning a natural birth?
698
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,880
I really want to do nattral childbirth, but
my husband keeps fighting me on it.
699
00:45:33,070 --> 00:45:36,180
Hey, as long as they still give
me drugs for it, I'll be fine.
700
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:41,960
Well, people all over the world choose natural
childdirth, and it can actually be quite beautiful.
701
00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:47,340
Hopefully this tape will encourage
everyone to give it a try.
702
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,120
- What kind of tapeeis thht?
- It's a vhm tape.
703
00:45:51,260 --> 00:45:57,360
It's like a vhs tape, but they only use
it in French-speaking Canada and Portland.
704
00:46:02,430 --> 00:46:06,550
Victor and leilani are
expecting their first child.
705
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:18,320
Leilani and Victor have chosen
to have a natural childbirth
706
00:46:18,510 --> 00:46:24,860
here in the yurt with the insurance monee they
have received from their previous yurt fire.
707
00:46:25,130 --> 00:46:30,690
Victor coaches leilani through sounds
that will help her relax and open herself.
708
00:46:39,900 --> 00:46:42,520
- See how calm that guy is?
- Of course he's calm.
709
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:45,480
He just heard on the radio
that the Vietnam war was over.
710
00:46:46,370 --> 00:46:48,570
Instead of using narcotics,
711
00:46:48,700 --> 00:46:54,200
leilani releases her pain through
focused breath into her partner's mouth.
712
00:46:57,740 --> 00:47:01,790
Oh, my God, there's so much curry
breath being exchanged right now.
713
00:47:02,650 --> 00:47:10,280
*************
714
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:24,060
that is the dirtiest thing I've ever seen.
And I'm talking about bottoms of her feet.
715
00:47:24,580 --> 00:47:30,470
When leilani feels ready for the ecstasy
of pushing, victor removes her tunic.
716
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,840
Hey oh. Laboosh.
717
00:47:41,470 --> 00:47:45,410
Is that her, or does she have
a standard poodle in her lap.
718
00:47:45,570 --> 00:47:51,420
Freed from the constraints of a
hospital bed, the couch allows leilani
719
00:47:51,590 --> 00:47:57,000
to experiment with what birthing
position is most comfortable for her.
720
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:02,850
She can try any position she wants.That
baby's not coming out without a weed whacker.
721
00:48:05,150 --> 00:48:08,490
Having children in the
room is a comfort to leilani
722
00:48:08,740 --> 00:48:13,510
and to remind her of the beautiful
new life about to rip her perineum.
723
00:48:14,980 --> 00:48:17,570
Why are they making
their children watch this?
724
00:48:17,730 --> 00:48:20,320
No, wait. They said this
was their first child.
725
00:48:20,770 --> 00:48:22,870
Whose children are those?
726
00:48:23,070 --> 00:48:26,210
Oh, my God, they're in Halloween costumes.
727
00:48:32,180 --> 00:48:34,950
That is some murky business.
728
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:39,430
As the fields of poppies
blooms almost all at once,
729
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:46,340
leilani's birthing calls catch the ear of another
woman in the area who is ripened with child.
730
00:48:53,310 --> 00:48:57,010
There were less people than
that at our last garage sale.
731
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:03,140
These two moon sisters in complete
synchronicity with nature and their bodies
732
00:49:03,230 --> 00:49:07,550
assume a position where they
can deliver each other's child.
733
00:49:13,970 --> 00:49:16,390
Did the devil make this movie?
734
00:49:16,530 --> 00:49:20,170
- Does this play on a flat-screen in the
lobby of hell?- Well, well, well, hang on.
735
00:49:20,350 --> 00:49:22,270
This part isn't so bad.
736
00:49:23,070 --> 00:49:27,780
****they call in response.
737
00:49:30,230 --> 00:49:32,480
No, never mind. Still terrible.
738
00:49:33,990 --> 00:49:36,560
Ew, they're looking right at us!
739
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,510
With one final yet gentle
push and a mutually quiet
740
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,180
and shameless bowel movement,
741
00:49:57,110 --> 00:50:01,950
leilani and endicott bring two
healthy boyssinto the world.
742
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:06,560
Victor and jazurus are
joyful beyond words.
743
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,750
Wait what, are those
iPhones? When was this made?
744
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,340
I recorded this last week.
745
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:17,110
This next section, they
cook the placenta in a wok.
746
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:18,950
No!
747
00:50:19,450 --> 00:50:20,780
No!
748
00:50:44,770 --> 00:50:46,760
Hi, bedelia.You want
to play truth or dare?
749
00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:50,000
We're going to dare Danielle to put
a picture of her boobs on Facebook.
750
00:50:50,230 --> 00:50:53,350
No thanks. My mom should
be here any second.
751
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,170
- You're going home already?
- No, she's coming over to chill.
752
00:50:57,290 --> 00:51:00,890
I figured the sleepover could
use a strong female role model.
753
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,190
Um, okay.
754
00:51:03,780 --> 00:51:05,580
Bedelia, honey. Is everything okay?
755
00:51:05,690 --> 00:51:07,230
Oh, hey, mom.
756
00:51:07,650 --> 00:51:10,670
It's 1:00 in the morning.Why
did you have me come back here?
757
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,000
Let's just say in a reverse Elvis,
758
00:51:13,100 --> 00:51:16,470
I was looking for a little less
action and a little more conversation.
759
00:51:17,730 --> 00:51:19,380
So what's shaking, bacon?
760
00:51:19,770 --> 00:51:22,040
Honey, I've got to go. I feel weird here.
761
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:24,630
Mom, come on. Let's hang out.
762
00:51:24,860 --> 00:51:29,160
Bedelia, this is a sleepover. It's
a big bonding time for you kids.
763
00:51:29,270 --> 00:51:33,310
- Isn't your best friend here?
- Yeah, dumb ass, I'm looking at her.
764
00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:39,560
Hey, turn to the side.
765
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,600
And she's gone. Seriously, mom, gain
some weight.
766
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:45,580
That's very sweet.
767
00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:47,740
Hey, look, these kids seem like
they're having a good time.
768
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,010
- Why don't you go say hi.
- No way.
769
00:51:50,230 --> 00:51:53,790
Stacy's little brother's over there.I
don't want him putting thee moves on me.
770
00:51:55,550 --> 00:51:58,160
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about Tristan.
771
00:51:58,390 --> 00:52:00,770
He's very gentle. Go talk to them.
772
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,060
Okay, cutie.Miss me.
773
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,190
Hey, guys. You buzzing about my mom?
774
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:07,700
Um, no.
775
00:52:07,890 --> 00:52:09,790
Why did you invite your mom?
776
00:52:10,010 --> 00:52:13,280
Wow! Where to begin.She drinks light tea.
777
00:52:13,510 --> 00:52:17,140
She's met Dan rather. She
knows how to clean silk.
778
00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:19,250
Should I keep going?
779
00:52:19,500 --> 00:52:20,630
No, we're good.
780
00:52:20,730 --> 00:52:24,340
You guys ever heard of France? She's
got a coffee table book about it.
781
00:52:25,130 --> 00:52:28,640
We don't want to talk about your
mom, bedelia. We're playing truth or dare.
782
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:33,650
Okay. I dare you to find a woman who strikes
a better balance between work and family.
783
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,960
- Are you talking about your mom again?
- You get it.
784
00:52:38,050 --> 00:52:40,160
She gets it. Bye.
785
00:52:41,140 --> 00:52:42,950
Ouch! Turn your hair down.
786
00:52:43,180 --> 00:52:46,540
- What?
- Seriously, mom. It's got mad volume.
787
00:52:48,470 --> 00:52:50,600
So are you nearing menopause?
788
00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:53,860
- Bedelia, we're not talking about that.
- Okay.
789
00:52:54,260 --> 00:52:56,400
Hey, flash me those caps.
790
00:52:56,570 --> 00:52:58,630
- Oh, honey.
- Come on.
791
00:52:58,790 --> 00:53:00,720
Whoomp there it is.
792
00:53:00,940 --> 00:53:03,150
Know thy self mom, you're a milf.
793
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,120
- Excuse me?
- Mom I'd like to friend.
794
00:53:07,650 --> 00:53:11,760
Oh, look. A couple of boys from your class
just sneaked in through the basement window.
795
00:53:11,990 --> 00:53:15,840
Wow, so much of the effectiveness of
that psloman shield sign out front.
796
00:53:15,950 --> 00:53:18,570
- Just go say hi.
- Okay. Bye, sexy.
797
00:53:19,430 --> 00:53:23,620
Never have I ever made
out with Trisha fagan.
798
00:53:25,450 --> 00:53:27,600
- You did, too?
- I'm so horny.
799
00:53:27,740 --> 00:53:29,830
This is the bomb!
800
00:53:30,860 --> 00:53:32,840
Hey, guys. Better keep it pg.
801
00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:34,680
My mom's got her binocs on us.
802
00:53:34,870 --> 00:53:38,210
- You brought yoor mom to this?
- Oh, yeah. She's the best.
803
00:53:38,270 --> 00:53:42,850
She reuses ziploc bags. She dry
shaves. I'm, like, sign me up.
804
00:53:43,850 --> 00:53:46,480
Stop talking about
your mom. We don't care.
805
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,380
Okay. Well, if you change
your mind, mom's over there.
806
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:52,780
She took a class about web design.******
807
00:53:53,010 --> 00:53:56,920
- ******
- Your loss. Bye.
808
00:53:58,930 --> 00:54:01,340
Whoa, someone's face
doesn't need a dictionary.
809
00:54:01,550 --> 00:54:05,000
- What?
- Seriously, mom, your cheekbones are defined.
810
00:54:05,690 --> 00:54:09,170
All right, bedelia, I think we
need to spend more time apart.
811
00:54:09,390 --> 00:54:10,690
Wait. What are you saying?
812
00:54:10,940 --> 00:54:13,710
I love you, but you shouldn't
want to hang out with me so much.
813
00:54:13,930 --> 00:54:15,650
What are you talking
about? You're so cool.
814
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,370
I'm not cool. I bought
this coat at sears.
815
00:54:18,450 --> 00:54:21,020
It's a great fit at a sensible rice.
816
00:54:21,210 --> 00:54:22,900
Honey, I take calcium pills.
817
00:54:23,110 --> 00:54:25,430
Yeah and your kkck-ass
bone density reflects that.
818
00:54:26,270 --> 00:54:28,710
Bedelia, I'm going home.
819
00:54:28,970 --> 00:54:31,480
If you leave me, I have nobody.
820
00:54:32,180 --> 00:54:34,090
That's not true, sweetheart.
821
00:54:34,210 --> 00:54:39,120
If you just let these kids get to
see what I see, a beautiful person.
822
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,420
- Hey, guss.
- Hi.
823
00:54:41,490 --> 00:54:43,700
Can I get a ride with you?
824
00:54:43,860 --> 00:54:46,460
I'd rather go home and
play pyahtzee with my mom.
825
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:50,960
She's one in a million.She's like -
826
00:54:51,110 --> 00:54:56,750
she's one of those ladies who's got the legs of
Cheryl tiegs and the easy charm of Craig ferguson.
827
00:54:57,030 --> 00:54:58,410
Mine too!
828
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,280
Hey, mom, can I go upstairs
and close mouth kiss this guy?
829
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,080
Yes, please. Nothing
would make me happier.
830
00:55:04,290 --> 00:55:07,070
Hey, does your mom like
jazz cd's at Starbucks?
831
00:55:10,130 --> 00:55:13,100
You kids hiding beer
down here? I know you are
832
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:14,840
I need one
833
00:55:35,110 --> 00:55:37,910
once again, ellie goulding
834
00:55:45,130 --> 00:55:48,310
♪ it's a little bit funny ♪
835
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,400
♪ this feeling inside ♪
836
00:55:52,670 --> 00:55:58,730
♪ I'm not one of those
who can easily hide ♪
837
00:56:00,340 --> 00:56:06,800
♪ I don't have much
money but boy if I did ♪
838
00:56:07,870 --> 00:56:13,480
♪ I'd buy a big house
where we both could live ♪
839
00:56:16,950 --> 00:56:23,480
♪ so excuse me forgetting
but these things I do ♪
840
00:56:24,610 --> 00:56:30,630
♪ see I've forgotten if
they're green or they're blue ♪
841
00:56:32,660 --> 00:56:38,350
♪ anyway the thing is
what I really mean ♪
842
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:45,280
♪ yours are the sweetest
eyes I've ever seen ♪
843
00:56:49,700 --> 00:56:53,320
♪
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
♪
844
00:56:53,890 --> 00:56:56,170
♪ this is your song ♪
845
00:56:57,540 --> 00:57:00,700
♪ it may be quite simple but ♪
846
00:57:01,350 --> 00:57:06,500
♪ now that is done I
hope you don't mind ♪
847
00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:11,430
♪ I hope you don't mind
that I put down in words ♪
848
00:57:12,580 --> 00:57:17,210
♪ how wonderful life is ♪
849
00:57:17,430 --> 00:57:20,490
♪ now you're in the world ♪
850
00:57:24,070 --> 00:57:29,720
♪ if I was a sculptor
but then again no ♪
851
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:36,870
♪ or girl who makes potions
in a travelling show ♪
852
00:57:39,050 --> 00:57:45,110
♪I know it's not much but
it's the best I can do ♪
853
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:52,420
♪ my gift is my song
and this one's for you ♪
854
00:58:18,830 --> 00:58:22,190
♪ and you can tell everybody ♪
855
00:58:22,740 --> 00:58:25,260
♪ this is your song ♪
856
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:30,070
♪ it may be quite simple buu ♪
857
00:58:30,270 --> 00:58:33,050
♪ now that is done ♪
858
00:58:33,350 --> 00:58:37,040
♪ I hope you don't mmnd
I hope you don't mind ♪
859
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:41,660
♪ that I put down in words ♪
860
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:50,440
♪ how wonderful life is ♪
861
00:58:50,570 --> 00:58:54,500
♪ now you're in the world ♪
862
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:15,760
this week on "bravo," it's an
all-new "pregnant in heels."
863
00:59:17,610 --> 00:59:21,460
Hi, I'm Rosie pope.******
864
00:59:21,670 --> 00:59:27,280
I provide my clients with anything
they want, no matter how extreme.
865
00:59:27,370 --> 00:59:32,810
And she's got her work cut out for her
with millionaire mommy-to-be shoshanna bunt.
866
00:59:32,940 --> 00:59:38,280
**********************
867
00:59:38,860 --> 00:59:43,610
I love being pregnant. I've
already lost 35 pounds.
868
00:59:44,050 --> 00:59:48,780
- Watch Rosie deal with lots of questions.
- I'm sorry, what's wrong with your voice?
869
00:59:48,990 --> 00:59:52,060
I was born in england, then
moved to America.
870
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,510
And every morning 1,000
bees sting my tongue.
871
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:58,910
- And lots of demands.
- Rosie, when my baby is born,
872
00:59:59,030 --> 01:00:02,390
I want to make sure the
delivery room is total vips.
873
01:00:02,490 --> 01:00:03,610
- No fatties.
- Perfect.
874
01:00:03,730 --> 01:00:04,750
- *****
- Perfect.
875
01:00:04,870 --> 01:00:05,890
- ***
- Perfect.
876
01:00:06,030 --> 01:00:07,720
*********************
877
01:00:07,890 --> 01:00:11,370
and I want to have a water birth, but
instead of water, I want diet coke.
878
01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:15,810
And we have this guy.
879
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:19,980
I am not so much a person as
I am a collection of choices.
880
01:00:20,650 --> 01:00:25,060
I just found out that babies are
born naked, which is disgusting.
881
01:00:25,220 --> 01:00:27,280
I'm way ahead of you.
882
01:00:27,450 --> 01:00:30,470
Prop your legs up and I'll
get this outfit to the baby.
883
01:00:30,730 --> 01:00:34,780
Don't worry, it's just like
building a ship in a bottle.
884
01:00:35,290 --> 01:00:40,070
Plus, we'll pad the boring moments
with signature bravo music.
885
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:43,790
And cut to a dog.
886
01:00:46,550 --> 01:00:47,860
Perfect.
887
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:49,100
Rosie's the best.
888
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:52,940
She even got a celebrity to make a
personal appearance in my ultrasound.
889
01:00:55,270 --> 01:00:57,720
Rosie's even there on the big day.
890
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:02,640
It's a boy.
891
01:01:02,910 --> 01:01:04,890
Don't cut the cord. I
might want to return it.
892
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,780
- Thanks r, rosie!
- ****
893
01:01:07,900 --> 01:01:09,760
I did not help at all.
894
01:01:09,850 --> 01:01:10,930
*****
895
01:01:11,050 --> 01:01:12,010
only on bravo.
896
01:01:12,150 --> 01:01:16,830
Right after an all-new "loud old bitches"
and "America's next dumb gay guy."
897
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:33,310
How you doing? Prom is come being up.
898
01:01:33,550 --> 01:01:34,950
Who you going to go with? A parent?
899
01:01:35,170 --> 01:01:39,960
Don't restrict yourself. I
want you to look dateable.
900
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,380
Doogie, don't proms cost
an arm and a leg or more?
901
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:49,070
Good point. That's why you need to come
to my slightly damaged prom wear barn.
902
01:01:49,690 --> 01:01:53,370
{6}Googie rene's
903
01:01:50,110 --> 01:01:54,370
********************************
904
01:01:55,210 --> 01:01:57,340
I love the color of this dress.
905
01:01:57,470 --> 01:01:59,950
Well, you should. It's alive with color.
906
01:02:00,220 --> 01:02:03,530
But I don't love all the
grass stains in the butt area.
907
01:02:05,190 --> 01:02:08,860
Well, that's because the previous owner
had to scoot home through a field.
908
01:02:09,020 --> 01:02:12,120
I went to prom once and they
closed the beachers on me.
909
01:02:12,410 --> 01:02:16,530
****************************
910
01:02:18,340 --> 01:02:20,310
what do I do about the stains?
911
01:02:20,510 --> 01:02:22,590
Well, just always be
backing up and laughing
912
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:26,900
like you just heard a joke that was
too much it's not rocket problems.
913
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:29,860
Thanks, doogie. Great idea.
914
01:02:34,830 --> 01:02:36,450
Look at this, doogie.
915
01:02:36,690 --> 01:02:37,940
What are you?*******
916
01:02:38,150 --> 01:02:40,030
I'm at the accessooy wall.
917
01:02:40,390 --> 01:02:44,900
Don't go places without
telling me first.******
918
01:02:48,050 --> 01:02:52,440
at doogie renees, you'll
find a cummerbund.****
919
01:02:52,590 --> 01:02:54,250
what is that?****
920
01:02:54,530 --> 01:02:56,250
no*********
921
01:02:56,370 --> 01:03:00,560
- ******
- It was originally used to catch crumbs.
922
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:04,290
Like a small bird
underneath a icnic table.
923
01:03:04,490 --> 01:03:07,350
- ***
- You taught me something today.
924
01:03:07,500 --> 01:03:10,490
*****
925
01:03:10,740 --> 01:03:14,070
- hey, doogie.
- Hang on. I'm coming.
926
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:23,890
I'm totally down with this mad-ass
tux, but what are all these brown ones.
927
01:03:24,020 --> 01:03:27,920
***********
928
01:03:28,130 --> 01:03:33,560
- *****************
- If we can't fix your stain,
929
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,360
we'll give you an autograph of
Julie chen to hold in front of it.
930
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,500
- Now I'm ready for my first kiss from a girl.
- I am, too.
931
01:03:41,750 --> 01:03:45,590
Are you on drugs? Stty on part.
932
01:03:45,700 --> 01:03:47,940
Listen to this satisfied woman.
933
01:03:48,340 --> 01:03:55,260
Doogie Renee, I have been invited
to prom by my oldest friend's son.
934
01:03:55,750 --> 01:03:59,290
This is an opportunity
I could not pass up.
935
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,520
When I arrived, people pointed.
936
01:04:01,780 --> 01:04:03,730
I knew I had done something wrong.
937
01:04:03,860 --> 01:04:08,670
I paid doogie $5 for this prom dress, and
people thought I paid twice that.
938
01:04:09,190 --> 01:04:13,710
************
939
01:04:13,860 --> 01:04:19,200
sorry*** thank you for
the wonderful clearance.
940
01:04:19,970 --> 01:04:24,260
It sounds like you are the
shia. This is about savings.
941
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:35,870
It's mother's day.
942
01:04:36,100 --> 01:04:39,980
And there's no better way to
express your feelings than hallmark.
943
01:04:42,230 --> 01:04:44,460
Because every mother is special.
944
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:48,280
But your mother is most special of all.
945
01:04:49,290 --> 01:04:51,780
Because of you in a dress.
946
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:57,170
Introducing the hallmark
mother collection.
947
01:04:57,780 --> 01:04:59,450
For weirdos.
948
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,420
Because you're not just a good son.
949
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:06,560
You're also a wonderful mother.
950
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,590
So show yourself you care.
951
01:05:12,770 --> 01:05:16,860
Because your mother will never leave
you as long as you keep dressing like her
952
01:05:16,930 --> 01:05:19,220
and talking like her
953
01:05:21,830 --> 01:05:24,430
and being a good boy.
954
01:05:26,630 --> 01:05:30,160
Because you're crazy about mother.
955
01:05:30,580 --> 01:05:32,870
The hallmaak mother collection.
956
01:05:34,540 --> 01:05:37,060
**************
957
01:05:50,340 --> 01:05:52,770
thanks to Ellie goulding, maya Rudolph.
958
01:05:59,250 --> 01:06:01,340
Everyone have a great
happy moth mother's day.
959
01:06:01,490 --> 01:06:04,030
Be nice to your mother tomorrow.
960
01:06:04,070 --> 01:06:07,590
-=http://bbs.Sfileydy.Com=-
-=http://ytet.Org=-
proudly presents
961
01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:13,190
-=http://bbs.Sfileydy.Com=-
-=http://ytet.Org=-
sync:¿¨»Ò ÎíÓê.
962
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,750
Saturday night
liveseason 36 episode20