1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:04,108
Previously on The Hard
Times of RJ Berger...
2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,368
Tomorrow is your daddy's
and my 20th anniversary.
3
00:00:07,403 --> 00:00:09,310
RJ, I was just wondering
if you were free...
4
00:00:09,344 --> 00:00:11,011
to spend a little time
with your old man tonight.
5
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,416
- Dad, of course...
- Oh, God. Oh, thank you.
6
00:00:13,451 --> 00:00:15,524
I'm telling you,
as a veteran of divorce,
7
00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,792
these things never end well.
8
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:24,939
Counted on you,
and you weren't there for me.
9
00:00:49,684 --> 00:00:51,386
There's a space.
10
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,223
Right between douche-face
one and douche-face two.
11
00:00:54,258 --> 00:00:56,494
You know, there's a very
spacious one over there.
12
00:00:56,528 --> 00:00:58,028
Seriously?
13
00:00:58,063 --> 00:01:00,666
You don't want me to park here
because of the big, scary jocks?
14
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,707
Check your side.
15
00:01:05,742 --> 00:01:06,943
Do I got it?
16
00:01:06,978 --> 00:01:10,249
Yeah, does she have it, homo erectus?
17
00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:11,251
Yeah, you got it, Amy.
18
00:01:11,285 --> 00:01:13,322
Ho, ho, is your little boyfriend...
19
00:01:13,357 --> 00:01:15,093
old enough to sit in the front seat?
20
00:01:15,127 --> 00:01:18,632
Uh, says the guy who drives alone.
21
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:22,205
Not quite, driving miss nerdy.
22
00:01:25,212 --> 00:01:26,714
My name is RJ Berger,
23
00:01:26,748 --> 00:01:31,290
and I really need my driver's license.
24
00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:37,352
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:38,705 --> 00:01:40,508
Don't let those idiots bother you.
26
00:01:40,542 --> 00:01:42,110
You know, just take
comfort in the fact...
27
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,546
that guys like Max Owens...
28
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,783
either end up fat or in jail
or both after high school.
29
00:01:45,817 --> 00:01:47,518
It's not even that.
30
00:01:47,553 --> 00:01:51,592
I'm just so tired of being stuck
with my mom and freaking coach,
31
00:01:51,627 --> 00:01:54,098
or in my dad's petri
dish of a hotel room.
32
00:01:54,132 --> 00:01:55,567
I just need independence.
33
00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:58,005
I need to be able to get out.
I need wheels!
34
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,476
Oh. You're not about to
break into song or dance...
35
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,478
or anything, are you?
36
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:03,147
You have a lady friend with a car.
37
00:02:03,182 --> 00:02:04,550
It's kind of like
having your own wheels.
38
00:02:04,584 --> 00:02:06,520
Thank you, but it's not the same.
39
00:02:06,554 --> 00:02:07,689
I need my license.
40
00:02:07,723 --> 00:02:08,958
So you're almost 16.
41
00:02:08,992 --> 00:02:13,901
Push down on the clutch
and get it in gear.
44
00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:25,086
Come on. We got to know
at least one adult...
45
00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:27,390
that would supervise our
driving practice hours.
46
00:02:27,426 --> 00:02:28,961
My brother Chet lost his license.
47
00:02:28,995 --> 00:02:30,663
My mom's working late.
48
00:02:30,698 --> 00:02:33,937
Hey, what about your dad
and that pimp mustang?
49
00:02:36,843 --> 00:02:38,511
Nobody say nothin'.
50
00:02:38,546 --> 00:02:40,315
Got to down some mistake juice,
51
00:02:40,349 --> 00:02:43,119
and then we can get started.
52
00:02:43,154 --> 00:02:45,089
Roger, the almost lily murderer,
53
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,558
is our driver's ed teacher.
54
00:02:46,593 --> 00:02:48,428
Great.
55
00:03:01,785 --> 00:03:04,355
Oh, God.
56
00:03:04,389 --> 00:03:05,992
Good morning, class!
57
00:03:06,026 --> 00:03:07,962
It's 2:00 in the afternoon.
58
00:03:07,996 --> 00:03:10,834
What are you, like,
the frickin' tell-time guy?
59
00:03:10,869 --> 00:03:14,675
No, I'm not the... Tell-time guy.
60
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,977
All right, listen, ass napkins,
61
00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:17,347
while I'm down the
hall taking a deuce...
62
00:03:17,381 --> 00:03:19,585
and blowing out my "o" ring,
63
00:03:19,619 --> 00:03:24,493
here's a little safety video.
64
00:03:24,528 --> 00:03:25,929
Hit the lights, cherry.
65
00:03:25,964 --> 00:03:28,467
No, no, red shirt cherry.
66
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:39,786
Hey, kids!
67
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,523
My name's skid mark,
the safety stain...
68
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:44,627
A magical mixture of asphalt,
69
00:03:44,661 --> 00:03:46,865
tire rubber, and human blood.
70
00:03:46,899 --> 00:03:49,337
Want to know how me and
my brothers get born?
71
00:03:49,371 --> 00:03:50,872
Well, watch this.
72
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:54,078
I'm made when careless new drivers...
73
00:03:54,113 --> 00:03:55,881
don't have their eyes on the road.
74
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,525
Just like that,
I have a new baby brother...
75
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,061
and you're dead.
76
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:05,599
While your family forever
suffers your loss,
77
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,003
haunted by guilt that
ultimately destroys them...
78
00:04:10,942 --> 00:04:15,816
My family gets a new baby!
79
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,553
Even fun times can end in tragedy.
80
00:04:18,588 --> 00:04:20,190
Oh.
81
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,293
Oh. Oh...
82
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:26,868
Whoa...
83
00:04:26,902 --> 00:04:30,008
So remember, kids,
84
00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:31,710
keep your eyes on the road,
85
00:04:31,744 --> 00:04:34,382
or we'll haunt your dreams forever.
86
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:38,623
In hell!
87
00:04:41,162 --> 00:04:42,931
That was awesome.
88
00:04:53,819 --> 00:04:56,490
What'd you do? Spread too fast?
89
00:04:56,524 --> 00:05:00,130
Cheerleading mishap.
90
00:05:00,165 --> 00:05:02,435
Jennifer Swanson.
91
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,773
Such a shame.
92
00:05:04,807 --> 00:05:06,309
As new head cheerleader,
93
00:05:06,343 --> 00:05:09,146
I fully accept your leave of absence.
94
00:05:09,181 --> 00:05:11,350
Feel better now.
95
00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:13,219
Back off, bitch.
96
00:05:13,255 --> 00:05:15,958
Go chase cars somewhere else.
97
00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:17,694
You two deserve each other.
98
00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:19,531
Hmm, uh, bye-bye.
99
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:25,675
Thanks for sticking up for me.
100
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:28,647
Well, us ex-Berger ladies
got to stick together, right?
101
00:05:28,681 --> 00:05:29,982
Hey, you want to hang out tonight?
102
00:05:30,017 --> 00:05:32,687
We can kind of do a
"where the boys aren't" thing?
103
00:05:32,721 --> 00:05:34,791
We can drink and gossip
and talk about...
104
00:05:34,825 --> 00:05:37,196
how every single person at
this school sucks balls!
105
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,635
Okay. That sounds fun.
106
00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:42,371
I could actually use that right now.
107
00:05:42,406 --> 00:05:43,574
Cool.
108
00:05:43,608 --> 00:05:44,876
Hey, Rick,
109
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,847
there's a girl on the
phone over here for you.
110
00:05:46,882 --> 00:05:49,185
Coming. I'm coming. God.
111
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,855
She sounds like a young one.
112
00:05:50,889 --> 00:05:52,791
Yeah. Great. Thanks. I got it. Yeah.
113
00:05:52,826 --> 00:05:55,596
Yeah. Who is it?
114
00:05:55,631 --> 00:05:56,632
Hey, dad.
115
00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:58,902
It's RJ.
116
00:05:58,936 --> 00:06:00,639
Oh, what do you want, traitor seed?
117
00:06:00,673 --> 00:06:02,242
How many times do I
have to say I'm sorry?
118
00:06:02,276 --> 00:06:04,579
I don't know. Let me think. More?
119
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,919
Look, I'm not happy about
coach and mom either, okay?
120
00:06:07,954 --> 00:06:09,621
But I'm not the enemy.
121
00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:11,525
Everyone is my enemy now.
122
00:06:11,559 --> 00:06:14,462
Dad, I... I need a favor.
123
00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:15,464
Oh, really?
124
00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:17,735
What can I do for you, son?
125
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:20,574
Dad, this is really important to me.
126
00:06:20,608 --> 00:06:24,014
Do you still have your car?
127
00:06:24,048 --> 00:06:26,183
Sort of.
128
00:06:26,217 --> 00:06:28,620
Dude, I can't believe
we get to practice...
129
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,325
in your dad's sweet mustang.
130
00:06:30,359 --> 00:06:31,894
Hey, let's just hope it runs, okay?
131
00:06:31,928 --> 00:06:33,363
My dad's sort of gone off the deep end.
132
00:06:33,397 --> 00:06:35,167
Aw, come on, RJ. Give him...
133
00:06:40,344 --> 00:06:42,780
Rj, over here. It's daddy.
134
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:48,190
Oh, my God. What is he doing?
135
00:06:48,225 --> 00:06:49,726
And why can't I stop staring...
136
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,730
even though I'm disgusted by it?
137
00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:53,400
Come on, guys. Let's roll.
138
00:06:54,871 --> 00:06:56,172
There's no way we're getting in that.
139
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,174
Uh-uh.
140
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,310
Give him a shot.
141
00:06:58,344 --> 00:07:01,216
Look, he's trying to be a good dad.
142
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,521
Besides, Berger,
if you never get wheels,
143
00:07:03,555 --> 00:07:06,258
then you never get to
have fun in the back seat.
144
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,494
Well, one thing's for sure.
145
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,463
If we don't get in,
he just keeps honking.
146
00:07:15,207 --> 00:07:16,575
- Hey, Amy.
- Hi.
147
00:07:16,609 --> 00:07:17,577
- Hey, bud.
- Hey.
148
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,446
- Hey, Mr. Berger.
- Seatbelts.
149
00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:24,589
So, dad, how, uh, how have things been?
150
00:07:24,623 --> 00:07:28,025
Oh, you know, my wife is
humping my coworker...
151
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:29,092
and my only son betrays me...
152
00:07:29,126 --> 00:07:31,194
and then needs a favor the next day.
153
00:07:31,229 --> 00:07:32,595
The usual.
154
00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:34,963
You've also got a dude's
junk as a hood ornament.
155
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,098
Hunkeez is pinkerton's
finest gentlewoman's club,
156
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:39,900
Miles, and it pays this car's lease,
157
00:07:39,935 --> 00:07:42,535
provided I drive around
three hours a day...
158
00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,236
through
densely-populated areas.
159
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,671
That's the weirdest thing I ever heard.
160
00:07:45,705 --> 00:07:47,072
He means good for you, Mr. b.
161
00:07:47,107 --> 00:07:49,073
That's very proactive
and industrious of you.
162
00:07:49,107 --> 00:07:52,409
Well, thank you, Amy.
163
00:07:52,443 --> 00:07:55,410
I also get as many complimentary
chicken wings as I want.
164
00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:57,378
Three square meals a day.
165
00:07:57,412 --> 00:07:58,846
So what happened to the mustang?
166
00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:01,181
Mustang's in hock.
167
00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:03,148
As is my family.
168
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,517
And my...Life.
169
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:08,185
Oh, jeez...
170
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:12,288
Dad. Dad, come on, dad.
171
00:08:12,323 --> 00:08:13,590
It's not that bad.
172
00:08:13,624 --> 00:08:16,424
It's... it's a nice car on the inside.
173
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:19,226
I'm so sorry, son. I...
174
00:08:19,261 --> 00:08:22,562
At least pull over. Come on.
175
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,100
Okay.
176
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,500
You're a man.
177
00:08:31,535 --> 00:08:33,336
You're a man.
178
00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:36,137
Okay, guys, uh, so who wants
to take the first spin?
179
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,276
- Stop, stop!
- Stop sign, stop sign!
180
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,544
Ah!
181
00:08:46,747 --> 00:08:47,713
Good.
182
00:08:47,748 --> 00:08:51,416
Now, uh, ease on the brake.
183
00:08:52,985 --> 00:08:57,053
Hey, yes. All right.
184
00:08:57,088 --> 00:09:00,656
Uh, hands on her boobs,
son, not her butt.
185
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,757
Yeah, just imagine the steering
wheel is Amy back there.
186
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:03,758
Dad!
187
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,091
Hey, whatever helps you remember.
188
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,226
Grope away.
189
00:09:07,261 --> 00:09:08,760
Yeah, turn into this alley right here.
190
00:09:08,794 --> 00:09:09,828
- What?
- Yeah.
191
00:09:09,862 --> 00:09:12,229
Got a little surprise for you guys.
192
00:09:12,263 --> 00:09:14,830
And cut it. Cut it. Cut it. Cut!
193
00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:18,165
Yes, cut, cut.
194
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,534
Okay, and stop here.
195
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:23,337
- That was...
- Jeez.
196
00:09:23,371 --> 00:09:24,971
Well done, bud. Well done.
197
00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:26,473
Thanks, dad.
198
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:27,840
Just wanted to treat you guys...
199
00:09:27,874 --> 00:09:30,075
to a little, uh, hunkeez buffet.
200
00:09:30,109 --> 00:09:32,577
Wait, we're at hunkeez?
201
00:09:32,611 --> 00:09:37,781
You brought us to a male
strip club for a buffet.
202
00:09:37,815 --> 00:09:40,449
Wait, dad, what are you doing?
203
00:09:40,483 --> 00:09:41,617
Come on, guys.
204
00:09:41,651 --> 00:09:42,917
We'll have some wings and a soda.
205
00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:44,418
It'll be fun.
206
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:47,020
Um, yeah, as a female and a vegetarian,
207
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,621
there's no way I'm going in there.
208
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,523
Well, suit yourself.
What about you boys?
209
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:54,726
Uh, you know, for once,
I...Agree with a vegetarian.
210
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,828
It's just...
211
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,731
Dad, come on. You're embarrassing me.
212
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,699
Fine. I see how it is.
213
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,234
You have time for your mom,
214
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:05,335
but no time for your old man.
215
00:10:05,369 --> 00:10:08,103
Dad.
216
00:10:08,138 --> 00:10:11,173
Come on, dad.
217
00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:15,210
Voila.
218
00:10:15,244 --> 00:10:17,311
Are you sure about this?
219
00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:19,445
It looks kind of silly.
220
00:10:19,479 --> 00:10:23,014
No, this looks silly.
221
00:10:23,048 --> 00:10:24,381
I mean, come on, Jenny.
222
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,549
We're having a sleepover.
223
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,016
We're doing each other's hair weird.
224
00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:29,183
Haven't you ever done that before?
225
00:10:29,218 --> 00:10:30,318
Not really.
226
00:10:30,352 --> 00:10:32,386
Well, for what it's worth,
227
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,821
you look amazing.
228
00:10:33,855 --> 00:10:36,222
Well, thank you.
229
00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:39,892
You look very pretty yourself.
230
00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:42,327
You know, for the longest time,
I thought you hated me.
231
00:10:42,361 --> 00:10:43,694
Oh, I did.
232
00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:45,729
But now that I have Hamilton,
233
00:10:45,763 --> 00:10:47,563
losing the battle for RJ's bulge...
234
00:10:47,598 --> 00:10:49,599
doesn't really bother me.
235
00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:52,067
We both lost that battle.
236
00:10:52,102 --> 00:10:54,002
Well, look on the bright side, Barbie.
237
00:10:54,036 --> 00:10:57,705
At least you're still popular.
238
00:10:57,739 --> 00:11:00,841
Not anymore.
239
00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:06,412
Ugh...
240
00:11:06,446 --> 00:11:11,784
Man, we have been waiting for
an hour and a half and counting.
241
00:11:11,819 --> 00:11:13,151
All right, screw this. I'm going in.
242
00:11:13,186 --> 00:11:16,187
If you're going, I'm going.
243
00:11:16,221 --> 00:11:18,755
Yeah, I'm totally staying
out here by myself.
244
00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:20,590
I...
245
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,161
Dude, is there anything more creepy...
246
00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:29,096
than being in a
male strip club?
247
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:31,664
Ugh. I feel like I'm gonna be
attacked by someone's Johnson...
248
00:11:31,698 --> 00:11:33,500
out of nowhere.
249
00:11:33,534 --> 00:11:34,967
Now you know how girls feel.
250
00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:36,535
Relax. No one's gonna attack us.
251
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,536
Yeah, right. Aah!
252
00:11:38,571 --> 00:11:39,671
Where the hell you been?
253
00:11:44,345 --> 00:11:45,982
Ooh, I'd like to take
a shot off that body.
254
00:11:46,016 --> 00:11:47,453
You are an hour late.
255
00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:48,857
I got a room full of
horny housewives...
256
00:11:48,891 --> 00:11:50,060
about to rip this joint apart.
257
00:11:50,094 --> 00:11:51,130
Oh, no. No, no, no.
258
00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:52,702
Uh, I'm just looking for my dad.
259
00:11:52,736 --> 00:11:54,540
I know. Daddy didn't give
you enough love growing up.
260
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:55,878
That's why you became a stripper.
261
00:11:55,912 --> 00:11:56,981
I don't got time for therapy.
262
00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:58,519
Get up there and shake your snake, kid.
263
00:11:58,553 --> 00:11:59,823
Come on. Get up there.
264
00:11:59,857 --> 00:12:00,826
Wait. Wait, I'm sorry.
265
00:12:00,861 --> 00:12:01,829
There's been a mistake.
266
00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:04,202
Hi. Shake it!
267
00:12:04,236 --> 00:12:06,976
Kid looks hotter than his headshot.
268
00:12:07,011 --> 00:12:08,548
Who the hell are you two,
his entourage?
269
00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,854
Buffy and Fluffy?
270
00:12:10,888 --> 00:12:13,127
And now, for tonight's main vein event,
271
00:12:13,161 --> 00:12:15,567
the very young, the very hung,
272
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:19,478
Brock hard!
273
00:12:19,512 --> 00:12:21,282
Take it off, Harry Potter!
274
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:25,527
Yeah, show us your
sorcerer's bone, baby!
275
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:28,067
Shake your moneymaker, squirt.
276
00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:34,585
Whoo!
277
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,056
Yeah!
278
00:12:36,091 --> 00:12:37,460
Leave him alone.
279
00:12:37,494 --> 00:12:39,231
Who is that?
280
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:41,606
Stay out of this, chicken wings.
281
00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:47,189
That's my son, abner.
282
00:12:47,223 --> 00:12:49,027
I don't care whose
balls he flew out of.
283
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,233
He's my dancer,
and he's not going anywhere...
284
00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:53,707
until he earns his tips.
285
00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:56,347
Let him go.
286
00:12:56,382 --> 00:13:00,191
Let him go, and I'll
dance in his place.
287
00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:01,228
- Ooh.
- Yeah, that's right.
288
00:13:01,262 --> 00:13:05,507
Dad...
289
00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:06,911
You?
290
00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:16,437
Okay.
291
00:13:16,471 --> 00:13:18,342
We're getting our bathing suits.
292
00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:19,378
We're getting our ba...
293
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:21,886
We're...
294
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:22,889
Come on, Nicole...
295
00:13:22,923 --> 00:13:24,392
I love this show.
296
00:13:24,427 --> 00:13:27,034
You know who never used
to let me watch this show?
297
00:13:27,068 --> 00:13:28,805
- Robin.
- How did you know?
298
00:13:28,839 --> 00:13:30,309
'Cause she's a bitch.
299
00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:32,716
She probably doesn't let herself
watch her own favorite show.
300
00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,822
You know, she used
to be my best friend,
301
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,663
but I guess she is kind of...
302
00:13:37,697 --> 00:13:39,702
Say it.
303
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,741
- It's mean.
- Say it!
304
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:47,492
She's a lowdown, dirty,
sloppy second slurping bitch!
305
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,865
You're right. She's a bitch.
306
00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:52,306
She... she stole my life.
307
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,777
She stole my boyfriend.
308
00:13:53,811 --> 00:13:55,949
She dropped me on purpose,
309
00:13:55,984 --> 00:13:57,755
and all the other girls know about it,
310
00:13:57,789 --> 00:13:59,393
but they're too scared to say anything.
311
00:13:59,428 --> 00:14:02,469
I never did anything
to that stupid whore.
312
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:05,176
That skanky, bitch-ass ho!
313
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,283
Yeah! Now you're talking.
314
00:14:07,317 --> 00:14:08,586
I like it.
315
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:09,857
That felt good.
316
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:13,500
Yeah, scared me a little too.
317
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:15,840
Sorry about what she did to you.
318
00:14:15,874 --> 00:14:18,079
Whatever. You know.
319
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,652
Least I found out who my
real friends are, right?
320
00:14:20,686 --> 00:14:23,861
Us crippies got to stick together.
321
00:14:23,895 --> 00:14:26,635
Cheers.
322
00:14:29,812 --> 00:14:32,250
If your old man doesn't
make it rain dollar bills,
323
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:33,588
you're the next one up on the pole.
324
00:14:35,528 --> 00:14:38,669
Ladies and more ladies,
325
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,441
you got yourself a treat tonight.
326
00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:42,882
After 15 years of retirement,
327
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,188
hunkeez is proud to present...
328
00:14:45,222 --> 00:14:48,998
Rick "the brick" Berger!
329
00:14:54,013 --> 00:14:56,819
Whoo!
330
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,392
Haven't heard that name in a long time.
331
00:14:59,428 --> 00:15:02,434
Long...Long time.
332
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:05,676
Hey, dj. That board got
a decent cassette deck?
333
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:07,748
Uh, no, but we got an mp3 player.
334
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:13,232
Oh, well, that'll...
That'll have to do, won't it?
335
00:15:13,266 --> 00:15:17,444
Son, I was never able to teach
you how to catch a ball.
336
00:15:17,478 --> 00:15:18,981
But this...
337
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:23,461
This is what your daddy
does really well.
338
00:15:23,495 --> 00:15:24,899
Hit it!
339
00:15:35,429 --> 00:15:37,534
- Holy bajeezus.
- Oh!
340
00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:38,703
Okay, it's official.
341
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,475
Your family is more
screwed up than mine.
342
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,326
Whoo!
343
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,936
I hate to admit it,
but I got a quarter chub right now.
344
00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:04,474
Half chub!
345
00:16:04,509 --> 00:16:06,146
Take it off!
346
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:10,860
Take it off!
347
00:16:10,894 --> 00:16:13,868
Oh, my God!
348
00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,041
Yes! Show us your penis!
349
00:16:20,322 --> 00:16:21,759
Amy, I completely understand...
350
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:26,605
if you never want to see me again.
351
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:27,742
RJ, are you kidding me?
352
00:16:27,777 --> 00:16:28,879
This is the most fun I've had...
353
00:16:28,913 --> 00:16:30,650
since I found out what the shocker was.
354
00:16:30,684 --> 00:16:33,491
Plus half of my daddy issues
just completely evaporated.
355
00:16:38,806 --> 00:16:40,776
Skills like this, kid,
they run in the family.
356
00:16:40,810 --> 00:16:42,313
You call me in a few years.
357
00:16:42,348 --> 00:16:46,224
I suspect your banana hasn't
fallen far from the hammock.
358
00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:04,575
Dad, that was amazing!
359
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:05,711
Thank you, son.
360
00:17:05,746 --> 00:17:07,785
Now, when I say "run,
" we should all run.
361
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,589
- What?
- Run!
362
00:17:09,623 --> 00:17:13,768
Aah!
363
00:17:13,802 --> 00:17:15,206
Start the car, son!
364
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,542
Are we pulling a strip and ditch?
365
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:17,712
You bet your sweet ass!
366
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,685
I made enough to get the
mustang out of hock.
367
00:17:19,719 --> 00:17:21,991
Punch it.
368
00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:24,699
Rick! Rick, you son of a bitch!
369
00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:27,005
Half those tips belong to the house!
370
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:28,776
I'm keeping your cassette, asshole!
371
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:30,771
Grr!
372
00:17:36,695 --> 00:17:37,652
Dad.
373
00:17:37,686 --> 00:17:38,775
Hey, bud.
374
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:39,767
Mustang's looking good.
375
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,022
Yeah.
376
00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:42,147
Not gonna park it outside
the motel, are you?
377
00:17:42,306 --> 00:17:42,635
Uh, no.
378
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,515
My neighbors would think
I was a drug dealer.
379
00:17:46,079 --> 00:17:47,499
You think you could, uh,
380
00:17:47,532 --> 00:17:49,282
keep it safe for me?
381
00:17:49,317 --> 00:17:51,463
Are you sure?
382
00:17:51,497 --> 00:17:52,982
Oh, it depends on how you did in there.
383
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:54,238
Passed. Got my permit!
384
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,783
Oh! That's... Oh, that's great.
385
00:17:56,816 --> 00:17:58,566
Oh, God. I am so proud of you.
386
00:17:58,601 --> 00:18:00,053
I'm proud of you too, dad.
387
00:18:00,087 --> 00:18:03,224
Proud of me? Why?
388
00:18:03,258 --> 00:18:06,562
Yeah. I mean, I know all
this has been tough on you,
389
00:18:06,595 --> 00:18:09,865
but you were still there for me.
390
00:18:09,899 --> 00:18:12,013
I guess I've had a lot of fun
over the last couple days,
391
00:18:12,046 --> 00:18:13,863
and...
392
00:18:13,897 --> 00:18:15,548
I've missed, um...
393
00:18:15,582 --> 00:18:17,200
I miss...
394
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:20,041
I do too, son.
395
00:18:20,075 --> 00:18:22,387
So you want to take her for a spin?
396
00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:24,104
Her?
397
00:18:24,139 --> 00:18:26,153
And her.
398
00:18:32,794 --> 00:18:37,021
Here you go.
399
00:18:37,055 --> 00:18:40,853
So, uh, think she's a
keeper or a clunker?
400
00:18:40,888 --> 00:18:42,967
Definitely a keeper.
401
00:18:47,098 --> 00:18:49,211
My name is RJ Berger,
402
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:52,680
and I'm having the ride of my life.
403
00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:55,326
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com