1 00:00:02,841 --> 00:00:03,296 Hey. 2 00:00:03,393 --> 00:00:03,912 Hey. 3 00:00:03,979 --> 00:00:04,599 Nicheer. 4 00:00:04,653 --> 00:00:06,210 What is up with this outfit today? 5 00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:07,189 So good to see..What? 6 00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:08,099 It's all red. 7 00:00:08,148 --> 00:00:10,655 It's like Santa claus ejaculated on you or something. 8 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,807 Christmas is like six months away. 9 00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:13,647 It's for the holiday. 10 00:00:13,718 --> 00:00:14,958 Wait, wait, wait what holiday? 11 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,265 Happy 4th of July to you. 12 00:00:16,346 --> 00:00:17,657 Oh, right. 13 00:00:17,737 --> 00:00:18,473 4th of July. 14 00:00:18,531 --> 00:00:19,607 It's such a stupid holiday. 15 00:00:19,679 --> 00:00:20,275 What? 16 00:00:20,348 --> 00:00:22,062 I'm just saying, I can never keep track. 17 00:00:22,124 --> 00:00:22,666 Celebrating. 18 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,282 Celebrating what? 19 00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:24,176 America's independence. 20 00:00:24,237 --> 00:00:24,678 From who? 21 00:00:24,742 --> 00:00:26,599 From the British Empire. 22 00:00:26,683 --> 00:00:28,738 Yeah, half the world got released from British empire. 23 00:00:28,831 --> 00:00:30,011 Do they celebrate very 5 minutes. 24 00:00:30,087 --> 00:00:31,076 It's a beautiful holiday. 25 00:00:31,144 --> 00:00:33,847 You know what holiday they mean in this country, sale. 26 00:00:33,925 --> 00:00:35,237 That's what they mean. 27 00:00:35,319 --> 00:00:36,340 It's sale. 28 00:00:36,391 --> 00:00:37,061 Memorial Day. 29 00:00:37,150 --> 00:00:38,270 Dead veterans sale. 30 00:00:38,374 --> 00:00:41,711 Veterans day, dead veterans, sale. 31 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,983 It's not called dead veterans day. 32 00:00:43,057 --> 00:00:44,574 But it's the same thing as memorial day. 33 00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:45,511 Only the sales are different. 34 00:00:45,603 --> 00:00:48,019 Don't ask me about the merits of the American holidays. 35 00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:50,450 All I know, is it is time to celebrate. 36 00:00:50,554 --> 00:00:51,159 Okay. 37 00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:51,881 All right. 38 00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,144 You got all jewey on me all the sudden. 39 00:00:53,218 --> 00:00:54,160 I love when you get jewey. 40 00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:56,353 I know, we're celebrated. 41 00:00:56,444 --> 00:00:57,648 Yes, rabbi. 42 00:00:57,765 --> 00:00:59,869 Thank you for coming to the congregation. 43 00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:02,025 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 44 00:01:02,102 --> 00:01:03,125 I'm glad I make you laugh. 45 00:01:03,187 --> 00:01:04,485 Because you came in so tense. 46 00:01:04,572 --> 00:01:06,978 I'm a little, a little preoccupied. 47 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,536 I have a big project coming up. 48 00:01:08,649 --> 00:01:09,264 What is this? 49 00:01:09,327 --> 00:01:12,852 It's a project about the American entrepreneur and I've already 50 00:01:12,928 --> 00:01:13,999 interviewed 7 people. 51 00:01:14,104 --> 00:01:15,138 I need one more. 52 00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:18,892 One more to complete the 8 person documentary. 53 00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,179 Hello. 54 00:01:20,453 --> 00:01:22,569 I just can't... What? 55 00:01:22,651 --> 00:01:23,322 I'm right here. 56 00:01:23,403 --> 00:01:25,270 I know, that's why I want to get to business. 57 00:01:25,347 --> 00:01:26,536 No, no, mecha. 58 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,029 American entrepreneur. 59 00:01:28,106 --> 00:01:30,871 C'mon you know how much I want to be on television. 60 00:01:30,946 --> 00:01:31,499 You? 61 00:01:31,604 --> 00:01:32,561 Of course meyt. 62 00:01:32,674 --> 00:01:34,516 What's so funny? 63 00:01:34,587 --> 00:01:36,573 Well, you're not even American. 64 00:01:36,657 --> 00:01:38,696 Meecha, I'm as American as the next person. 65 00:01:38,816 --> 00:01:40,621 It has to be someone, American. 66 00:01:40,715 --> 00:01:42,429 I am American. 67 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,121 You're American? 68 00:01:43,192 --> 00:01:43,684 Yes. 69 00:01:43,776 --> 00:01:44,875 Okay, I'll as you a series of questions. 70 00:01:44,982 --> 00:01:47,032 If you can pass this test, maybe I'll consider it. 71 00:01:47,124 --> 00:01:47,806 Okay, here we go. 72 00:01:47,894 --> 00:01:51,063 Who is the short stop for the new York Yankees. 73 00:01:51,162 --> 00:01:52,158 Derek Jeter. 74 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,607 That's only because he's handsome. 75 00:01:54,704 --> 00:01:55,711 No, because he's a client. 76 00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:56,875 Derek Jeter is a client? 77 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,518 Yes. 78 00:01:57,636 --> 00:01:58,505 I do lots of teams. 79 00:01:58,613 --> 00:01:59,988 What does kfc stand for? 80 00:02:00,097 --> 00:02:01,708 Kentucky fresh chicken. 81 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:02,506 No, no. 82 00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:03,588 Yes, they changed it. 83 00:02:03,678 --> 00:02:04,347 Did they? 84 00:02:04,431 --> 00:02:05,013 Yes. 85 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:05,758 See. 86 00:02:05,873 --> 00:02:06,791 We shouldn't eat that anyway. 87 00:02:06,871 --> 00:02:08,863 That's why they changed it to fresh because they think people are stupid. 88 00:02:08,971 --> 00:02:11,702 We're going to fry it but we'll call it fresh, now you want it. 89 00:02:11,835 --> 00:02:12,619 Kentucky fresh chicken. 90 00:02:12,685 --> 00:02:14,920 Turns out you're more American than I am. 91 00:02:14,987 --> 00:02:15,664 You see? 92 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,061 C'mon, c'mon gimme chance. 93 00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:18,378 All right, listen to me. 94 00:02:18,452 --> 00:02:19,172 I'll do it. 95 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:22,751 If you don't come across as American in this interview tomorrow, 96 00:02:22,891 --> 00:02:24,118 my boss will never accept it. 97 00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:25,014 You understand me? 98 00:02:25,093 --> 00:02:28,319 And then the project will be shit. 99 00:02:28,444 --> 00:02:30,099 Caput. 100 00:02:30,326 --> 00:02:30,908 I don't know about that. 101 00:02:30,994 --> 00:02:33,371 You're wife will leave you and you'll be depressed and you'll commit 102 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,470 suicide and you will be in the papers like river Phoenix. 103 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,136 I get it. 104 00:02:38,798 --> 00:02:43,930 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 105 00:02:56,198 --> 00:02:56,700 Had a fantastic morning. 106 00:02:56,806 --> 00:02:59,557 I had sex session with Mitch Goldstein the Jewish producer. 107 00:02:59,631 --> 00:03:03,289 I know it's redundant to say Jewish producer but I wanted to say it anyway. 108 00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:06,665 They're doing documentary about American entrepreneurs and 109 00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:10,203 they're going to feature me and you guys as American entrepreneur family. 110 00:03:10,279 --> 00:03:10,903 Wow! 111 00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:12,450 Nice. 112 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,413 Only problem is, we're not American. 113 00:03:14,532 --> 00:03:17,855 So, we're going to have to go through amerimorfasian. 114 00:03:17,937 --> 00:03:19,210 Otherwise, the piece is fucked. 115 00:03:19,288 --> 00:03:20,092 All right? 116 00:03:20,131 --> 00:03:21,049 American changes. 117 00:03:21,155 --> 00:03:23,188 We're going to bathe more. 118 00:03:23,268 --> 00:03:24,486 We're going to be a little more neurotic. 119 00:03:24,567 --> 00:03:26,543 We're going to be a little more ignorant of national geography. 120 00:03:26,661 --> 00:03:30,458 Okay, agoraphobic, xenophobic, paranoid schizophrenic. 121 00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:31,865 All the American values. 122 00:03:31,953 --> 00:03:33,659 And floss. 123 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:34,847 Flossing everywhere. 124 00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:37,796 Everywhere because Americans really like to floss. 125 00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:38,437 Okay? 126 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,486 Can we get one of those fuck 150 trucks? 127 00:03:40,613 --> 00:03:42,017 What is a fuck 150 truck? 128 00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:43,641 I don't know, they advertise on the t.V. 129 00:03:43,746 --> 00:03:44,705 They say fuck 150? 130 00:03:44,804 --> 00:03:47,534 Well, no but it's f-150 but what does it stand for? 131 00:03:47,626 --> 00:03:49,507 They're probably a million words that start with f. 132 00:03:49,618 --> 00:03:50,133 Like what? 133 00:03:50,226 --> 00:03:50,707 Ford. 134 00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:51,332 No. 135 00:03:51,406 --> 00:03:51,931 Festive. 136 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,455 Feline. 137 00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:54,069 Nah. 138 00:03:54,162 --> 00:03:54,779 Furry. 139 00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:55,409 Maybe. 140 00:03:55,514 --> 00:03:55,945 Fart. 141 00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:56,891 I don't think so. 142 00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:57,779 Americans love to fart. 143 00:03:57,861 --> 00:04:00,852 They love to fart so if anybody farts near you, you have to smile and laugh 144 00:04:00,945 --> 00:04:03,714 because it's very funny when somebody gets gas out of their butt. 145 00:04:03,799 --> 00:04:04,586 Laugh. 146 00:04:04,684 --> 00:04:05,847 Great, fantastic. 147 00:04:12,191 --> 00:04:14,215 St. Petersburg House of Discrete Pleasure, hello? 148 00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:18,342 Oh, hi, miss rivers. 149 00:04:19,404 --> 00:04:20,986 Yeah, Mitch told me you'd be calling. 150 00:04:21,113 --> 00:04:25,115 I am the maid Svetlana. 151 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,634 No, she is not home right now. 152 00:04:28,729 --> 00:04:35,493 She's at kmart buying bullets, and tobacco, firearms. 153 00:04:35,601 --> 00:04:39,444 Boxer briefs, you know stuff for 4th of July. 154 00:04:39,542 --> 00:04:40,874 Tomorrow? 155 00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:42,135 Great, yeah. 156 00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:43,710 No, she'll be very excited. 157 00:04:43,829 --> 00:04:44,995 Yeah. 158 00:04:45,104 --> 00:04:46,359 Yeah. 159 00:04:46,639 --> 00:04:47,488 Suzanne. 160 00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:49,608 Suzanne Smith. 161 00:04:49,852 --> 00:04:56,210 Okay, well we look forward to meeting you here at uh, at uh main street house 162 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,352 of pleasure. 163 00:04:57,471 --> 00:05:01,303 Okay, have a good day. 164 00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,310 Bye, bye. 165 00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:03,974 That was a close one. 166 00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,067 Okay, we have to get things ready. 167 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,071 Okay, I'll get things ready. 168 00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,420 You, your not very wanted. 169 00:05:14,838 --> 00:05:15,983 Hey. 170 00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:17,257 Hey, good morning. 171 00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:17,945 Good morning. 172 00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,728 Have American food today. 173 00:05:19,812 --> 00:05:22,853 No more Russian cuisine in this household. 174 00:05:22,975 --> 00:05:25,852 African-American food because African-Americans are Americans. 175 00:05:25,976 --> 00:05:27,465 That's why they have American in the name. 176 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:28,527 Chicken and waffles. 177 00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:31,494 This is science experiment you do today? 178 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:32,378 We are American now. 179 00:05:32,454 --> 00:05:34,780 We eat big, inappropriate food for breakfast. 180 00:05:34,897 --> 00:05:35,952 Oh, there she is. 181 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,351 This is your new best friend holly. 182 00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:40,825 Holly, meet Marsha. 183 00:05:40,946 --> 00:05:44,970 Hi Marsha, oh my gosh, I named all my fish Marsha. 184 00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:46,199 I love that name. 185 00:05:46,334 --> 00:05:48,784 I can tell we're going to be the best of friends. 186 00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:53,622 Well, all my siblings died in a minivan explosion, so my friends are my family. 187 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:54,547 That's great. 188 00:05:54,635 --> 00:05:56,951 Go to your room, play and put on that new outfit I bought you. 189 00:05:57,038 --> 00:05:58,562 Something American. 190 00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:00,744 Cool, do you have a canopy? 191 00:06:00,853 --> 00:06:01,852 What's your favorite color? 192 00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:05,499 Mine is rainbow, but it's really close with sunshine. 193 00:06:05,635 --> 00:06:07,050 Is she client? 194 00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:12,455 Okay girls, have fun at the amusement park. 195 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,756 Lots of American activities. 196 00:06:13,853 --> 00:06:16,127 Just bring her back in time for the barbeque, okay? 197 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,568 Okay Mrs. Svetlana. 198 00:06:17,686 --> 00:06:20,014 We're going to share cotton candy without our hands. 199 00:06:20,117 --> 00:06:23,303 One time when I was on a roller coaster, I shit my pants. 200 00:06:26,902 --> 00:06:29,320 Try a little, hello? 201 00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:30,328 Hello? 202 00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:32,971 It's a hee. 203 00:06:33,052 --> 00:06:33,945 But that's how I speak. 204 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,404 Yes, that's what we're trying to change Svetlana. 205 00:06:36,494 --> 00:06:40,186 He, he, try to cough that up. 206 00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:43,523 It's gone, no more ech. 207 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,956 Ha. 208 00:06:45,442 --> 00:06:47,186 Hello mama. 209 00:06:47,566 --> 00:06:49,306 Hellow mama. 210 00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:50,879 Ah, you see, maybe. 211 00:06:51,082 --> 00:06:52,911 Try it without the... Hello mama. 212 00:06:53,016 --> 00:06:54,488 Hello mama. 213 00:06:54,596 --> 00:06:55,995 Hello mama. 214 00:06:56,138 --> 00:07:00,491 Maybe a tight scarf around you might help. 215 00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:01,108 Maybe. 216 00:07:01,197 --> 00:07:01,910 Hello. 217 00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,702 Where did that come from? 218 00:07:04,787 --> 00:07:06,318 Svetlana where did that come from? 219 00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:07,254 It's weird. 220 00:07:07,341 --> 00:07:07,985 It's weird. 221 00:07:08,062 --> 00:07:10,606 I can't walk around with my hand on my throat though, you know what I mean. 222 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:11,429 Weird. 223 00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:12,716 Weird. 224 00:07:12,802 --> 00:07:14,862 Weird. 225 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,136 Ah, there we go. 226 00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,875 One things I notice, American's chew a lot of gum. 227 00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:22,517 There is a lot of gum in their mouth. 228 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,024 I don't have any gum. 229 00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:24,964 You should have brought some. 230 00:07:25,047 --> 00:07:27,609 I mean you need to bring accessories. 231 00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:29,986 I usually bring gum but I didn't think we were going to need it. 232 00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:35,980 So the chewing the gum and we're walking down the street and we're sassy. 233 00:07:36,092 --> 00:07:39,576 We're sassy American lady and we say hey, buddy. 234 00:07:39,665 --> 00:07:41,445 How's your 401k holding up? 235 00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:45,609 Hey buddy, how's your 4... . Fuck! 236 00:07:46,324 --> 00:07:46,815 Okay, I got it. 237 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:47,371 I got it. 238 00:07:47,453 --> 00:07:48,706 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 239 00:07:48,766 --> 00:07:50,205 It's too much pressure. 240 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,767 It's like My Fair Lady but the Ockford years. 241 00:07:53,863 --> 00:07:59,455 What about tornado and laredo, oh hell, we'll have to cancel the parado. 242 00:07:59,615 --> 00:08:00,477 Let's try that one. 243 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,323 That's one of my favorites. 244 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,107 Maybe I should beat some time to it. 245 00:08:03,179 --> 00:08:04,577 How about, ready, let's try that. 246 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,660 Tornado in laredo. 247 00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:07,812 I don't even know where laredo is? 248 00:08:07,953 --> 00:08:10,748 It doesn't matter where it is Svetlana. 249 00:08:10,847 --> 00:08:12,080 Of course it matters where it is. 250 00:08:12,174 --> 00:08:12,864 I have to have context. 251 00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:14,001 I can't just spell things out in rhyme. 252 00:08:14,099 --> 00:08:14,841 It's in Texas. 253 00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:16,035 Okay. 254 00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:19,931 And that is something when you do your geography tutorial. 255 00:08:20,058 --> 00:08:20,962 So tedious. 256 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,555 There is a tornado in laredo, cancel the fucking parado. 257 00:08:23,646 --> 00:08:24,175 Get out. 258 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:24,665 Get out. 259 00:08:24,741 --> 00:08:25,229 Get out. 260 00:08:25,324 --> 00:08:27,066 You know what my time... You're time is definitely out. 261 00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:31,041 I want you to stay away from "rs" and stay away from "s". 262 00:08:31,138 --> 00:08:33,984 Stay away from h's by all means. 263 00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:34,550 Great. 264 00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:37,918 You know what you should do, you should get yourself sign language. 265 00:08:37,989 --> 00:08:39,339 Great dialect coach. 266 00:08:39,468 --> 00:08:44,133 Fantastic 6 hours and I still can say something like rain in Spain stays 267 00:08:44,226 --> 00:08:46,945 mainly in the plain. 268 00:08:47,044 --> 00:08:50,951 There is a tornado in laredo. 269 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:54,486 Let's cancel the parado. 270 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,534 I'd like a hamburger please. 271 00:08:55,651 --> 00:08:57,191 Thank you. 272 00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:58,235 Can you pass the coffee? 273 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:05,746 Basically what we need you to do is coach us on American women in the sack. 274 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,363 Well, now, I've got to say I've spent my 275 00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:10,698 whole life trying to figure all this out, so. 276 00:09:10,778 --> 00:09:14,078 I don't know that I have all the answers but I can sort of lead you in the 277 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,842 direction, maybe where you want to go. 278 00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:18,374 Great, fantastic. 279 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:19,609 ♪1. 280 00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:23,740 American women are nervous about their body. 281 00:09:23,916 --> 00:09:29,318 So, sometimes, like for instance, if we were to have relations now in 282 00:09:29,406 --> 00:09:32,674 this sort of lighted situation, it would never happen. 283 00:09:32,766 --> 00:09:33,657 It's too bright. 284 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,792 We can see each other's flaws and blemishes. 285 00:09:36,897 --> 00:09:38,371 I have one somewhere over here. 286 00:09:38,481 --> 00:09:39,142 I have many. 287 00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:40,733 But listen, that's not a problem. 288 00:09:40,844 --> 00:09:41,923 We close our eyes. 289 00:09:42,028 --> 00:09:43,093 Come over here. 290 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:43,905 All right. 291 00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:47,202 Now I want you to think American thoughts, not Russian thoughts. 292 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:48,322 Okay, American thoughts. 293 00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:56,754 We close our eyes, we're kind of embarrassed but we're going to have relations. 294 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,764 Oh this is so weird, we're having sex. 295 00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,621 This is wrong. 296 00:09:59,692 --> 00:10:01,237 God is punishing us. 297 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:01,934 Yes. 298 00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:03,255 Guilty, guilty. 299 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:04,610 Okay, this is really boring. 300 00:10:04,707 --> 00:10:07,001 Now I understand why American women commit suicide. 301 00:10:07,104 --> 00:10:08,413 Okay, what's next. 302 00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:11,661 So the relations have been going along, right? 303 00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:13,909 But then, wait a minute. 304 00:10:17,527 --> 00:10:20,166 We don't want to smell any sort of natural odors. 305 00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:20,929 Okay. 306 00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:25,269 Sweat, joy, humanity, any of that must be eliminated. 307 00:10:25,356 --> 00:10:25,994 Okay. 308 00:10:26,097 --> 00:10:27,591 So we just. 309 00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:28,691 What the hell. 310 00:10:28,813 --> 00:10:30,562 Whoa, whoa what are you doing man? 311 00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:31,812 We just clean that right up. 312 00:10:31,937 --> 00:10:35,180 We just cover it right up with some sort of, oh, now that's much better. 313 00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,541 It smells like ammonia. 314 00:10:36,646 --> 00:10:40,224 But ammonia with some flowers mixed in there. 315 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,282 We're copulating. 316 00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:42,756 We relating. 317 00:10:42,885 --> 00:10:44,341 Fornicating. 318 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:49,046 During that time American women like to have a cold, refreshing drink. 319 00:10:49,156 --> 00:10:50,052 Oh, no. 320 00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,005 Are you sweating? 321 00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:52,167 Is that sweat? 322 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:55,529 Is that good? 323 00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:56,314 That's good. 324 00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,471 American thoughts. 325 00:10:57,571 --> 00:10:58,512 Okay, what is this? 326 00:10:58,582 --> 00:10:59,509 How is this evoking anything. 327 00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:00,876 Like to ride ponies. 328 00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:01,843 Like a little trot. 329 00:11:01,989 --> 00:11:03,784 Okay. 330 00:11:03,853 --> 00:11:04,284 Okay. 331 00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:04,883 Here we go. 332 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,533 Okay, great. 333 00:11:06,636 --> 00:11:07,462 Rodeos. 334 00:11:07,562 --> 00:11:08,131 Rodeo. 335 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,528 Oh the bull. 336 00:11:09,659 --> 00:11:10,557 There's the bull. 337 00:11:12,449 --> 00:11:14,165 Okay, the bull. 338 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,128 The bull. 339 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:16,866 Riding. 340 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:17,705 Okay. 341 00:11:21,188 --> 00:11:27,679 ♪ America, America ♪. 342 00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:35,048 Come here guys. 343 00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:36,519 Pete? 344 00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:37,352 Yeah. 345 00:11:37,484 --> 00:11:38,326 How you doing? 346 00:11:38,412 --> 00:11:40,574 Your wife said there was a barbecue going on back here. 347 00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:41,332 All right. 348 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,756 Nice to meet you. 349 00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:43,615 Happy 4th bro. 350 00:11:43,712 --> 00:11:44,429 The 4th of July. 351 00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:45,830 Good to be American! 352 00:11:48,852 --> 00:11:50,224 What is this your listening to? 353 00:11:50,347 --> 00:11:51,347 That's overture. 354 00:11:51,429 --> 00:11:52,112 Third overture. 355 00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:52,886 Beethoven. 356 00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,030 That's awful. 357 00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:57,187 We're going to listen to this. 358 00:11:57,332 --> 00:11:59,095 Let's hear it. 359 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,166 Wow, that's nice. 360 00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:02,745 Get some of that. 361 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,876 Usa. 362 00:12:04,973 --> 00:12:07,540 I like this guy. 363 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:10,787 High five is a little gay bro. 364 00:12:10,892 --> 00:12:11,975 Keep it to the pound. 365 00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:15,565 I love roller coasters. 366 00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:18,030 You like to fart on the roller coasters also. 367 00:12:18,114 --> 00:12:19,235 Yeah, that's genetic. 368 00:12:19,358 --> 00:12:21,214 I sleep really deeply too. 369 00:12:21,302 --> 00:12:25,227 Sometimes I find myself next door watching the neighbor sleep and I 370 00:12:25,293 --> 00:12:26,500 don't even know how I got there. 371 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:32,763 I think your mom is going to be so happy that I'm making you American. 372 00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:34,760 Oh my gosh, we can have a slumber party 373 00:12:34,845 --> 00:12:38,828 and we can wax each other's bikini line and also we can paint each other's 374 00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:39,743 toe nails. 375 00:12:39,855 --> 00:12:41,439 What kind of medication are you taking? 376 00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:42,313 I'm on life. 377 00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:43,479 That's all the drug I need. 378 00:12:43,582 --> 00:12:45,036 Life makes me high. 379 00:12:45,142 --> 00:12:49,420 I used to have a meth addiction but then Jesus called and that was all 380 00:12:49,525 --> 00:12:50,401 over for me. 381 00:12:52,436 --> 00:12:53,505 Stop! 382 00:12:53,602 --> 00:12:54,984 Talking, stop, talking. 383 00:12:57,084 --> 00:12:58,462 That is it. 384 00:12:58,579 --> 00:13:00,919 I spent $50 trying to win that for you. 385 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,735 You care about nothing. 386 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:04,526 You are soulless. 387 00:13:04,637 --> 00:13:06,529 This is your head. 388 00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:08,573 Stop you. 389 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,542 I will physically stop you from doing that. 390 00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,423 You, you foreign monster. 391 00:13:12,552 --> 00:13:15,017 Oh, oh my God. 392 00:13:15,136 --> 00:13:16,087 I quit. 393 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,540 But you drove here. 394 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,006 Well get a ride. 395 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,107 You're a whore, so it shouldn't be too difficult. 396 00:13:23,196 --> 00:13:23,964 Oh my God. 397 00:13:24,056 --> 00:13:24,722 Physical assault. 398 00:13:24,799 --> 00:13:25,578 You psychotic head. 399 00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:28,348 You're not construction worker. 400 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,445 I love it. 401 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:38,334 This is what you gotta do. 402 00:13:38,428 --> 00:13:41,066 You gotta put a little beer on it to soak in the flavor. 403 00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:42,360 It's like pissing on the burger. 404 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,142 You don't put that... You put a little vodka on it. 405 00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:46,682 You don't like putting beer on it? 406 00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:48,642 No, I do not like putting the beer on it? 407 00:13:48,742 --> 00:13:49,578 Do you? 408 00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:50,263 Yeah. 409 00:13:50,353 --> 00:13:51,541 Just put the fucking beer on. 410 00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:53,467 You don't put the fucking beer on the fucking burger. 411 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,291 What are you talking about? 412 00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:55,667 You put the beer on the burger. 413 00:13:55,755 --> 00:13:57,102 Not on my God damn burger. 414 00:13:57,195 --> 00:14:00,065 You know what, I don't like you so much bro. 415 00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:01,114 I don't like you fucking either. 416 00:14:03,564 --> 00:14:05,580 I paid you to be American guy at barbecue. 417 00:14:05,664 --> 00:14:07,519 Yeah, this is what you do at an American barbecue. 418 00:14:07,592 --> 00:14:10,847 You get in a little fight and then you become friends and drink and eat. 419 00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:12,297 Okay. 420 00:14:12,397 --> 00:14:13,824 I got to go back to the reporter. 421 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,155 Fucking nightmare. 422 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:21,521 3, 2, I'm Melissa rivers with our continuing look at the American entrepreneur. 423 00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:22,899 It's July 4th. 424 00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:26,482 And what could possibly be more all-American than apple pie. 425 00:14:26,612 --> 00:14:30,155 Nowadays that the mom of four is also a ceo. 426 00:14:30,241 --> 00:14:35,387 We are here to meet Suzanne Smith president and ceo of main street House of 427 00:14:35,464 --> 00:14:36,610 Discrete Pleasure. 428 00:14:36,674 --> 00:14:38,028 Let's take a look. 429 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:40,839 Hello. 430 00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:43,240 Hello. 431 00:14:43,329 --> 00:14:43,993 Hi. 432 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,377 How are you? 433 00:14:45,464 --> 00:14:46,343 Good, I'm Melissa. 434 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:47,820 I'm Suzanne Smith. 435 00:14:47,891 --> 00:14:49,690 It's so nice to meet everybody. 436 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,647 C'mon in. 437 00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:51,562 Thank you. 438 00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:55,763 Well, you know it's a big hectic day here at main street house of pleasure 439 00:14:55,848 --> 00:14:58,222 because it's 4th of July, as you know. 440 00:14:58,318 --> 00:15:01,670 And we're having a big barbecue and a lot of celebration. 441 00:15:01,763 --> 00:15:04,973 But I do have time to talk to you and the American people. 442 00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:05,897 That is fantastic. 443 00:15:05,981 --> 00:15:09,885 I think what we want to find out is what makes Suzanne tick. 444 00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:13,652 What makes you be a mom, a business woman. 445 00:15:13,728 --> 00:15:15,465 And what keeps you going as a woman? 446 00:15:15,576 --> 00:15:19,127 I'm happy to share all of that with you and the American people. 447 00:15:19,229 --> 00:15:22,134 Why don't we go into my little American wolf nook. 448 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,590 Wolf nook? 449 00:15:23,684 --> 00:15:25,077 Ready? 450 00:15:25,187 --> 00:15:25,667 Yeah. 451 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,495 Tell me a little bit about your childhood. 452 00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:31,075 Okay, uh, do I look in the camera. 453 00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:31,851 Stay with me. 454 00:15:31,944 --> 00:15:36,740 It's like in the office like where they, you know they push a note. 455 00:15:36,815 --> 00:15:37,835 This is like a real interview. 456 00:15:37,910 --> 00:15:40,405 You know, they're not there. 457 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:43,128 How did this business start? 458 00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:49,897 Well, basically I felt like as an American, it was my duty to fulfill my 459 00:15:49,989 --> 00:15:51,056 potential. 460 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:56,339 And I found at a very early age that I excelled at intercourse. 461 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,645 And your children. 462 00:15:57,731 --> 00:15:58,756 You're a mother of 4. 463 00:15:58,853 --> 00:15:59,527 Yes. 464 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,165 How do your kids handle this? 465 00:16:01,272 --> 00:16:02,706 Well, they work for me. 466 00:16:02,835 --> 00:16:03,788 Your children work for you? 467 00:16:03,902 --> 00:16:04,710 Yes. 468 00:16:04,822 --> 00:16:11,139 And you feel as an American mother that it is fine to prostitute your children? 469 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:16,118 Well, as long as they eat right and do their homework, yes. 470 00:16:16,319 --> 00:16:19,627 I am a believer that the world is a scary 471 00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:24,187 place outside of our borders and Europe, especially. 472 00:16:24,312 --> 00:16:28,646 And everywhere that is next to Europe which is the rest of the other places 473 00:16:28,743 --> 00:16:30,724 that exist outside America. 474 00:16:30,842 --> 00:16:31,398 Really? 475 00:16:31,484 --> 00:16:32,102 Yeah. 476 00:16:32,189 --> 00:16:36,675 But I really would love to show you our home and show you our American ways 477 00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:39,198 here at main street House of Discrete Pleasure. 478 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,056 8185554432. 479 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,823 Well, this is the hallway. 480 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:48,673 And right here is our living space where we conduct lots of americany 481 00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:49,642 activities. 482 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:52,439 Uh, this is the flag that my aunt Betsy made. 483 00:16:52,538 --> 00:16:53,112 Really? 484 00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:53,933 Yes. 485 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:54,623 In 1810. 486 00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:55,510 Well this must be old. 487 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:58,074 She died at the age of 146. 488 00:16:58,165 --> 00:16:58,681 Wow. 489 00:16:58,771 --> 00:16:59,980 It's the navajo blood in us. 490 00:17:00,201 --> 00:17:01,191 Oh, navajo. 491 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:02,873 Indigenous, native Americans. 492 00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:04,301 Part navajo, aztec, inca. 493 00:17:04,442 --> 00:17:05,124 Really? 494 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,467 You don't show it at all. 495 00:17:06,572 --> 00:17:07,377 A little bit. 496 00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:08,221 Little bit. 497 00:17:08,336 --> 00:17:09,420 No, not really, not at all. 498 00:17:09,508 --> 00:17:10,527 This is my wall of presidents. 499 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:14,487 Barack, eisenhower, client. 500 00:17:14,584 --> 00:17:17,641 But when he was younger and he could still function. 501 00:17:17,742 --> 00:17:19,490 Learning a lot today. 502 00:17:19,594 --> 00:17:20,262 A lot. 503 00:17:20,342 --> 00:17:23,870 And of course George bush and my favorite icon of American culture, 504 00:17:23,983 --> 00:17:25,201 the Pepperidge farm guy. 505 00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:27,275 We partake in a lot of American past times. 506 00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,758 Peter loves to barbecue. 507 00:17:28,869 --> 00:17:30,035 He's really good at it. 508 00:17:32,435 --> 00:17:34,408 Okay, let's go to the pleasure room. 509 00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:35,945 You spit all over it. 510 00:17:36,053 --> 00:17:38,495 Stop that already. 511 00:17:38,626 --> 00:17:41,184 What is this? 512 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,777 My little sweet. 513 00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,237 I've been looking so forward to this. 514 00:17:46,304 --> 00:17:49,333 I told my second graders I was going on a field trip to little moscow. 515 00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:51,180 That's what I call your lady bits. 516 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,216 Natasha fat now. 517 00:17:53,311 --> 00:17:54,538 Natasha not pretty. 518 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:55,848 Natasha self-conscious. 519 00:17:55,935 --> 00:17:57,495 You make it dark. 520 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,329 No, no, no, no. 521 00:18:00,439 --> 00:18:01,767 Natasha is none of those things. 522 00:18:01,857 --> 00:18:03,569 That's why I pay to see Natasha. 523 00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:05,152 Because you're not fat or ugly. 524 00:18:05,246 --> 00:18:06,902 This is what I want to enjoy. 525 00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:10,606 You don't want to make it dark, you clothes your eyes. 526 00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:12,378 I don't want to clothes my eyes. 527 00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:13,523 You close your eyes now. 528 00:18:13,621 --> 00:18:15,150 Yeah, yea, okay so my eyes are closed. 529 00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:16,328 Lay down. 530 00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:17,897 Uh... Lay down. 531 00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,295 Okay, this is kind of fun. 532 00:18:20,368 --> 00:18:22,158 Just right here. 533 00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:23,922 All right. 534 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:25,463 Okay. 535 00:18:25,696 --> 00:18:26,996 So this is new. 536 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,077 We've never done this part. 537 00:18:28,182 --> 00:18:31,882 Natasha sterilize now. 538 00:18:31,982 --> 00:18:33,967 Ow, ow, ow what is that? 539 00:18:34,045 --> 00:18:34,938 What is that? 540 00:18:35,028 --> 00:18:37,570 Is all purpose cleaner. 541 00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:40,035 You dirty. 542 00:18:40,148 --> 00:18:41,811 You smell like human. 543 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,371 I am human. 544 00:18:43,444 --> 00:18:44,553 You have body odor. 545 00:18:44,681 --> 00:18:46,783 I just took a shower before I came here. 546 00:18:46,881 --> 00:18:48,927 I don't want that going in my urethra. 547 00:18:49,022 --> 00:18:49,951 Fine. 548 00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:51,774 We gonna make rodeo now. 549 00:18:51,845 --> 00:18:52,747 Rodeo. 550 00:18:55,028 --> 00:18:56,350 The way to the pleasure rooms. 551 00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:57,175 Rooms? 552 00:18:57,275 --> 00:18:58,742 Yes, we have two, a and b. 553 00:18:58,826 --> 00:19:02,262 We also have a master bedroom where I see vip clients. 554 00:19:02,365 --> 00:19:06,290 Here at main street House of Discrete Pleasure we believe in wholesome 555 00:19:06,392 --> 00:19:08,599 American loving. 556 00:19:08,691 --> 00:19:09,528 Let's take a peek. 557 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:10,400 Oh my God. 558 00:19:10,464 --> 00:19:12,025 So, so sorry. 559 00:19:12,099 --> 00:19:13,601 I'm never going to get that out of my head. 560 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,101 It was not meant as an affront to the American flag or the troops. 561 00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:19,152 Or those devices in particular. 562 00:19:19,261 --> 00:19:19,941 We're done. 563 00:19:20,005 --> 00:19:20,447 We're done. 564 00:19:20,521 --> 00:19:23,278 It's just been a hectic day with all the preparations. 565 00:19:23,394 --> 00:19:24,197 Hectic? 566 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,511 We're really much more organized. 567 00:19:25,608 --> 00:19:27,035 It was just this one client. 568 00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:29,060 I'm sorry Mitch is fired. 569 00:19:29,189 --> 00:19:30,895 We're going to look in the fridge. 570 00:19:31,010 --> 00:19:32,719 I am leaving. 571 00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,011 I want my money. 572 00:19:34,097 --> 00:19:37,295 If I wanted to fuck an obsessive germaphobe I would have stayed at home 573 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:37,915 with my wife. 574 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:38,874 He wouldn't douche. 575 00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:41,269 No, I'm not going to douche and this is a ridiculous request. 576 00:19:41,351 --> 00:19:42,034 I'm sorry. 577 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,180 Fuck you. 578 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,845 You know what, I'm sorry. 579 00:19:49,169 --> 00:19:50,160 I am sorry, it's over. 580 00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:51,676 We're not doing the piece. 581 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,953 What the problem because you don't want to do the piece because we're not 582 00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,379 sterile American family. 583 00:19:55,502 --> 00:19:56,861 Because we don't have that cutesy 584 00:19:57,131 --> 00:19:58,805 little apron and stupid outfits all the time. 585 00:19:58,891 --> 00:19:59,596 We are dirty. 586 00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:01,439 We are part of the melting pot. 587 00:20:01,538 --> 00:20:03,583 No, it's because you're a horrible entrepreneur. 588 00:20:03,697 --> 00:20:05,621 Excuse me, we're here for the tupperware party. 589 00:20:05,709 --> 00:20:06,875 Fuck tupperware. 590 00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,771 I'm sorry, that was out of line. 591 00:20:10,424 --> 00:20:15,691 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 592 00:20:19,508 --> 00:20:21,997 We are beginning the sexual relations. 593 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:23,890 We are having sex. 594 00:20:24,008 --> 00:20:27,777 This is, oh I'm having a flashback. 595 00:20:27,939 --> 00:20:28,571 Oh boy. 596 00:20:28,678 --> 00:20:31,008 Yeah, and you're getting erection so maybe slow it down. 597 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:31,928 Okay. 598 00:20:34,146 --> 00:20:35,245 That sounds like a farm animal. 599 00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:38,561 You have to adapt. 600 00:20:38,651 --> 00:20:39,409 Right. 601 00:20:39,485 --> 00:20:42,251 I'm gonna fuck like a monk. 602 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,404 A lift. 603 00:20:43,997 --> 00:20:44,502 Nice. 604 00:20:44,605 --> 00:20:45,182 Okay. 605 00:20:48,553 --> 00:20:50,629 And so you just go down here like this. 606 00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,489 No, there is titia in your pepia. 607 00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:55,387 This is the pepia. 608 00:20:55,470 --> 00:20:56,306 That's the pee-pee. 609 00:20:56,391 --> 00:20:57,488 This is the titia. 610 00:20:57,583 --> 00:20:59,025 Oh, the titty. 611 00:20:59,118 --> 00:20:59,959 Titty. 612 00:21:01,574 --> 00:21:03,777 Like a tractor. 613 00:21:03,945 --> 00:21:06,363 Like a. 614 00:21:08,103 --> 00:21:09,152 You're face. 615 00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:12,137 Wow. 616 00:21:12,254 --> 00:21:14,022 So it's all in there. 617 00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:15,805 Well there are still a few little. 618 00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:17,071 Little scrap here. 619 00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:18,465 Sorry. 620 00:21:18,549 --> 00:21:23,075 There is one that was sticking out and it was just bugging me. 621 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:25,400 That's all right. It's all right, it's just testicle.