1
00:00:00,318 --> 00:00:02,194
<i>Previously on the Hard Times
of RJ Berger...</i>

2
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,937
Vote the non-douchebag party!

3
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:05,644
Why is my name on this with Jenny?

4
00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:08,346
You've been Max Owens'
bitch for 16 years.

5
00:00:08,414 --> 00:00:10,647
I got nominated,
and the girl I love hates me.

6
00:00:10,715 --> 00:00:12,349
I'm gonna ask your mother to become...

7
00:00:12,417 --> 00:00:14,083
Mrs. coach jeriba sinclair.

8
00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:17,018
What the...

9
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:20,153
This started as the
best week of my life.

10
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,821
But now it feels like my head...

11
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,422
is going to explode.

12
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:25,322
I hardly know where to start
to fix what's gone wrong.

13
00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:31,926
Morning, Berger.

14
00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:35,961
Not even the sight...

15
00:00:36,029 --> 00:00:39,564
of my lifelong Nemesis
kissing another guy...

16
00:00:39,632 --> 00:00:42,099
can pull me out of this
emotional tailspin.

17
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,467
Looking good, ladies.

18
00:00:44,535 --> 00:00:47,935
No, the only thing that will save me...

19
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,603
from permanent depression...

20
00:00:49,671 --> 00:00:54,072
is winning back the girl I love.

21
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,773
My name is RJ Berger.

22
00:00:56,841 --> 00:00:58,909
And love sucks.

23
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:03,678
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

24
00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:08,314
Aren't there some pills...

25
00:01:08,381 --> 00:01:10,148
you can take for this crap?

26
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,249
I mean, come on with
the moping already.

27
00:01:12,317 --> 00:01:13,450
I'm sorry, Miles.

28
00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:15,584
My heart's been ripped out of my chest.

29
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:17,286
Agh, hey!

30
00:01:17,353 --> 00:01:18,986
Oh, I'm sorry, dirk diggler.

31
00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:21,321
Can we please not do this today?

32
00:01:21,389 --> 00:01:22,755
Oh, are you too busy?

33
00:01:22,823 --> 00:01:24,490
Yeah, I understand being a loser...

34
00:01:24,558 --> 00:01:26,424
is a full-time job.

35
00:01:26,492 --> 00:01:27,925
It's on.

36
00:01:27,992 --> 00:01:30,092
Oh, dude, they're gonna fight.

37
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,660
See, every time I think
about not kicking your ass,

38
00:01:31,727 --> 00:01:33,395
you go and do something stupid.

39
00:01:33,463 --> 00:01:35,329
Like run against me for Mr. pinkerton.

40
00:01:35,397 --> 00:01:36,596
You know that wasn't my idea.

41
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,164
Sorry, Berger.

42
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,865
This is gonna hurt you a
lot more than it hurts me.

43
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,099
- Punch him in the penis!
- Come on, come on.

44
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:47,002
I know about guillermo.

45
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:48,703
I saw you two in the shower.

46
00:01:51,306 --> 00:01:52,339
Whoa, whoa, what?

47
00:01:52,407 --> 00:01:54,040
- What?
- Dude, come on.

48
00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:55,440
- Come on, come on.
- Max.

49
00:01:55,508 --> 00:01:57,075
What are you doing? What the hell?

50
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:58,676
Kick his ass.

51
00:02:02,612 --> 00:02:04,245
Dude, that was awesome.

52
00:02:04,313 --> 00:02:06,613
You totally just jedi-mind-tricked Max.

53
00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:10,449
What did you say?

54
00:02:18,654 --> 00:02:20,422
Look at those two.

55
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:21,789
I said look.

56
00:02:21,857 --> 00:02:24,123
Right, cool. Eyes on the prize.

57
00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:26,191
Uh, not cool.

58
00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:27,292
They're pretending
to be a couple again,

59
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,960
trying to take what's rightfully ours.

60
00:02:29,027 --> 00:02:30,460
Someone needs to smack Berger around...

61
00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:32,127
like a hillbilly housewife.

62
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,295
Um, last time I checked,

63
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:34,696
you had your chance this morning,

64
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:38,432
but you pussied out.

65
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,398
What are you two doing?

66
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:41,000
Oh, nothing.

67
00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:42,534
Lily's just showing me
how to use her phone.

68
00:02:42,602 --> 00:02:43,834
We're working out a little
somethin'-somethin'...

69
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,135
just in case.

70
00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:46,003
Oh, what are you going
to wear tomorrow?

71
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:47,570
We need to go over wardrobe.

72
00:02:47,638 --> 00:02:48,904
We need to go over your speech.

73
00:02:48,972 --> 00:02:50,705
This year, people are voting...

74
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,507
after the speeches by text.

75
00:02:52,574 --> 00:02:55,708
<i>Oh, dope. Just like American idol.</i>

76
00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:57,376
What?

77
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,711
I enjoy watching people
strive for their dreams.

78
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:00,911
Forget about people's dreams.

79
00:03:00,979 --> 00:03:02,512
All I wanna know...

80
00:03:02,579 --> 00:03:04,614
is how you got Max to
back down this morning.

81
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,381
Yeah, I heard about that.
What happened?

82
00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:08,983
Could we, um...

83
00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:12,184
Talk in private?

84
00:03:12,252 --> 00:03:15,086
Yeah.

85
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,555
I don't know how to say this.

86
00:03:18,622 --> 00:03:21,122
Have you ever noticed anything...

87
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:24,124
Different about Max?

88
00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:26,325
Well, he's not really a strong reader.

89
00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:28,560
No, like, not that kind of different.

90
00:03:28,628 --> 00:03:30,528
What do you mean?

91
00:03:30,595 --> 00:03:32,996
I kinda saw him...

92
00:03:33,063 --> 00:03:38,065
Kissing someone in the locker room.

93
00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:41,001
A guy.

94
00:03:41,068 --> 00:03:43,903
Guillermo.

95
00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,370
I-I came to you because you know him...

96
00:03:45,437 --> 00:03:48,272
better than anyone,
and if I told Miles,

97
00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:50,673
it'd be a trending topic
on Twitter by sundown.

98
00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,107
Oh, my God, RJ.
This all makes sense now.

99
00:03:52,174 --> 00:03:53,707
What?

100
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,209
There was this time he asked me...

101
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,944
to dress up in Patterson's
football uniform.

102
00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:00,112
I don't know. I feel kinda weird.

103
00:04:00,179 --> 00:04:01,078
You look amazing.

104
00:04:01,146 --> 00:04:03,346
Just...

105
00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:07,082
Don't forget the helmet.

106
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:10,851
His obsession with manscaping...

107
00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:13,286
Perfect. Heart-shaped
landing strip.

108
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,487
Whoo! Yeah.

109
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:20,023
And us never having sex.

110
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:22,457
Oh, my God, RJ.

111
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,258
Max is gay.

112
00:04:24,326 --> 00:04:26,693
You know...

113
00:04:26,761 --> 00:04:28,494
If we really wanted to win
Mr. and miss pinkerton...

114
00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:29,695
I know, I know. Trust me.

115
00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:31,429
I've considered it.

116
00:04:31,497 --> 00:04:32,897
But he doesn't deserve that.

117
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:35,299
Max may be an asshole,
but I couldn't stoop that low.

118
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:37,766
And I don't really care about
Mr. and miss pinkerton.

119
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,301
What I care about is winning Amy back.

120
00:04:39,368 --> 00:04:40,434
So what are we gonna do?

121
00:04:40,502 --> 00:04:41,835
Why don't you tell me...

122
00:04:41,903 --> 00:04:43,336
about that little
somethin'-somethin'...

123
00:04:43,404 --> 00:04:44,736
you and lily are working on...

124
00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:47,505
just in case?

125
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:48,606
Okay, well...

126
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,547
Amy!

127
00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:05,149
Amy, wait!

128
00:05:05,216 --> 00:05:06,916
Amy.

129
00:05:06,984 --> 00:05:08,317
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't bother, RJ.

130
00:05:08,384 --> 00:05:09,284
There's nothing left to say.

131
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,318
You and Jenny belong together.

132
00:05:10,385 --> 00:05:11,886
What are you talking about?

133
00:05:11,954 --> 00:05:13,553
I saw you two hugging.

134
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:16,221
Take it from a girl.
She still has feelings for you.

135
00:05:16,289 --> 00:05:17,488
But I don't have feelings for her.

136
00:05:17,556 --> 00:05:18,423
You said yourself that
you've loved her...

137
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:19,424
since the third grade.

138
00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:20,891
I had a crush on her.

139
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:23,225
Love is vastly different.

140
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:25,994
I didn't even understand
what love was until now.

141
00:05:26,062 --> 00:05:27,227
But I do.

142
00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:28,729
Because I love you.

143
00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:30,663
We're in high school, RJ.

144
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,332
Nobody really loves anybody.

145
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,632
Wait.

146
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,534
Amy, Amy!

147
00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:48,711
Good morning, Berger.

148
00:05:48,779 --> 00:05:51,278
I need you to stay at
your fat friend's tonight.

149
00:05:51,346 --> 00:05:52,479
What? No. It's a school night.

150
00:05:52,546 --> 00:05:53,513
Yeah.

151
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,980
But it's happening tonight.

152
00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:58,080
I'm making your mama my wife.

153
00:05:58,148 --> 00:06:00,581
- Tonight?
- Yeah.

154
00:06:00,648 --> 00:06:02,948
Well, you know,
when you find the person...

155
00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:04,415
you wanna spend the
rest of your life with,

156
00:06:04,483 --> 00:06:07,149
you want the rest of your
life to start right now.

157
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:09,750
Plus, I'm sure to be rewarded...

158
00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:12,417
with illegal-in-48-states
engagement sex.

159
00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:16,250
Where you going?

160
00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:17,984
Hey, don't tell nobody.

161
00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:19,518
I want Suzanne to be surprised.

162
00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:28,819
Dad, dad, dad, dad. We need to talk.

163
00:06:28,887 --> 00:06:31,420
Darn tootin' we do,
Mr. pinkerton nominee.

164
00:06:31,488 --> 00:06:33,121
I am so proud of you, bud.
No, no, for real.

165
00:06:33,188 --> 00:06:34,354
Dad, coach is about to ask mom...

166
00:06:34,422 --> 00:06:35,388
to marry him.

167
00:06:35,455 --> 00:06:38,689
[Dramatic chor...

168
00:06:45,891 --> 00:06:47,424
Daaaaaad!

169
00:06:51,359 --> 00:06:53,258
Sinclair!

170
00:06:53,326 --> 00:06:55,425
You've gone too far!

171
00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:56,959
Yeah, that's what your wife said...

172
00:06:57,027 --> 00:06:58,693
While I was giving her the business.

173
00:06:58,761 --> 00:07:01,494
You are marrying Suzanne
over my dead body!

174
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,894
I suggest you buy a burial suit.

175
00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:05,494
Holy crap.

176
00:07:05,561 --> 00:07:07,762
Teacher fight!

177
00:07:07,829 --> 00:07:09,862
- Yeah, yeah.
- What the hell?

178
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,695
- Well, here we go.
- Kick his ass, coach!

179
00:07:11,763 --> 00:07:13,329
Ding, ding.

180
00:07:13,397 --> 00:07:15,063
You're going down, jeriba.

181
00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:16,430
Yeah, your ex-wife said that, too.

182
00:07:20,198 --> 00:07:22,564
Oh, no, you didn't.

183
00:07:22,632 --> 00:07:24,065
Agh!

184
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,765
Ow!

185
00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:29,332
Ow.

186
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,266
- You had enough?
- Hell to the no.

187
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:33,133
I'm in the best shape of my life.

188
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,401
Making sweet love to Suzanne
is like joining the gym.

189
00:07:35,468 --> 00:07:38,035
24 hour fit-n-ass.

190
00:07:39,402 --> 00:07:41,268
That's it.

191
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,568
Agh, my back.

192
00:07:43,636 --> 00:07:44,969
RJ?

193
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:45,969
Daaad!

194
00:07:46,037 --> 00:07:48,469
RJ!

195
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:52,437
Daaaaaaaaaad!

196
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,637
Face it, Berger.

197
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:55,937
She's moving on.

198
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:58,005
And the better, stronger,
and blacker man won.

199
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:03,706
He's right. Your mommy made a choice.

200
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,373
Sometimes we just have
to know when we're beat.

201
00:08:06,441 --> 00:08:09,174
Oh, everything hurts. Okay.

202
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:19,543
Oh, oops. I'm so sorry.

203
00:08:19,611 --> 00:08:20,976
I guess I didn't see you there.

204
00:08:21,044 --> 00:08:21,977
That's it.

205
00:08:22,045 --> 00:08:23,344
I've had it with your games.

206
00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:25,644
I'm the queen of this
school now, bitch.

207
00:08:25,712 --> 00:08:28,011
Actually, that's for
the students to decide.

208
00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:29,412
The students?

209
00:08:29,479 --> 00:08:31,378
You mean those stupid,
easily manipulated puppets?

210
00:08:31,446 --> 00:08:34,446
This school is full of pathetic losers.

211
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,613
Peasants.

212
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,913
All I have to do is smile and wave...

213
00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:38,813
and have Max on my arm.

214
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:40,180
He might be dumber than the dialogue...

215
00:08:40,248 --> 00:08:42,414
<i>in the last air bender,
but he's pretty.</i>

216
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,148
I can't believe we were ever friends.

217
00:08:44,215 --> 00:08:46,015
We were never friends.

218
00:08:46,082 --> 00:08:48,549
You were the perfect Jenny Swanson,

219
00:08:48,616 --> 00:08:49,948
and I was your shadow.

220
00:08:50,016 --> 00:08:51,349
But no longer.

221
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,749
You might as well just
drop out of the race now,

222
00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:55,450
save yourself the
embarrassment of losing,

223
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:57,483
and from me making your
life a living hell.

224
00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:59,885
God, I wanna hit you right now.

225
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:03,352
But a black eye would cause sympathy.

226
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:08,653
Choke on that, Barbie.

227
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,388
Dad?

228
00:09:18,456 --> 00:09:22,889
Dad!

229
00:09:22,956 --> 00:09:25,523
RJ, is that you?

230
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:27,057
Dad, are you okay?

231
00:09:27,124 --> 00:09:28,390
Yeah, fine.

232
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,357
I just took a few Vicodin for my back.

233
00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:32,957
- How many?
- All of them.

234
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:34,324
Dad, come on. Look at yourself.

235
00:09:34,392 --> 00:09:35,992
You can't just give up.

236
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,659
Sure I can. See how easy it is?

237
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,559
Think you're the only
one with girl troubles?

238
00:09:40,627 --> 00:09:41,993
All right, Amy just dumped me,

239
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:43,260
but I'm gonna fight for her,

240
00:09:43,327 --> 00:09:44,493
and you have to fight for mom, too!

241
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,361
I did fight, son.

242
00:09:46,429 --> 00:09:47,494
I lost.

243
00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:48,661
There are other ways to fight.

244
00:09:48,729 --> 00:09:50,761
You have to use your strengths.

245
00:09:50,829 --> 00:09:52,228
Use the gift that God gave you.

246
00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:54,095
My penis.

247
00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:56,629
The other one. Your mind, dad.

248
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,196
Yeah, of course you lost a
physical fight to coach.

249
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:01,431
He's a gym teacher. You...

250
00:10:01,498 --> 00:10:02,897
You are a...

251
00:10:02,964 --> 00:10:05,564
Substitute English teacher.

252
00:10:05,632 --> 00:10:08,065
You're right. And I have the...

253
00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:10,232
I have the perfect thing
to get your mother back.

254
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:22,835
Well, that was truly delicious.

255
00:10:22,903 --> 00:10:23,968
Only the best for my baby.

256
00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:26,369
I'm stuffed.

257
00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,736
There's always room...

258
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:33,570
For bling.

259
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:37,638
Suzanne...

260
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,338
When I met you...

261
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,138
<i>I thought you were a hot piece of ass.</i>

262
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,906
But now that I know you,

263
00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:47,406
<i>you are the hot piece of ass...</i>

264
00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:49,240
that I wanna spend the
rest of my life with.

265
00:10:49,308 --> 00:10:51,908
Oh, jeriba.

266
00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:54,908
Okay, dad. Breathe.

267
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:56,608
Try and keep it together in there.

268
00:10:56,676 --> 00:10:57,909
I will, son. With you by my side,

269
00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,209
I can't lose.

270
00:11:00,277 --> 00:11:01,810
I object!

271
00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:03,776
Rick! RJ, what are you doing here?

272
00:11:03,844 --> 00:11:05,777
- Dad has something to say.
- Yeah.

273
00:11:07,645 --> 00:11:09,378
"Sweet Suzy shapiro,

274
00:11:09,446 --> 00:11:11,878
"the hottest girl in school,

275
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,411
"I wrote a little something,

276
00:11:13,479 --> 00:11:14,711
"and I hope you think it's cool.

277
00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:16,412
"I love the way you danced...

278
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,246
"when I took you to bon jovi.

279
00:11:18,314 --> 00:11:19,846
"I love the face you made...

280
00:11:19,914 --> 00:11:21,346
"when I nibbled your anchovy.

281
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,680
"But you're not just super-freaky.

282
00:11:23,748 --> 00:11:26,047
"You're also super-nice.

283
00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:28,382
"Come hang at my place Sunday.

284
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:31,415
<i>We'll watch Miami vice."</i>

285
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,682
I read this to you...

286
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,982
the first night that we made love.

287
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:36,817
I remember.

288
00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:38,484
We were so young and innocent.

289
00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:40,551
We did an entire month of missionary.

290
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,218
I can do missionary.

291
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:43,684
I don't mind looking you in the face.

292
00:11:43,752 --> 00:11:45,952
I've learned something, Suzanne.

293
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,586
I'm still the same boy
that you fell in love with,

294
00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:50,419
but with the added
knowledge of a man...

295
00:11:50,487 --> 00:11:54,821
who's lived five months
in a hooker motel.

296
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,254
Can we please give it another shot?

297
00:11:57,322 --> 00:11:58,787
- Hell, no!
- Oh, Rick!

298
00:11:58,855 --> 00:12:00,388
Oh, God!

299
00:12:00,456 --> 00:12:02,322
Oh.

300
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,122
Good news, Berger.

301
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,223
The love that I felt for your mother...

302
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,556
has now been replaced by the hatred...

303
00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:11,890
I feel for you.

304
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:15,191
I can live with that.

305
00:12:30,347 --> 00:12:31,915
We want people to accept each other...

306
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,218
and accept themselves,

307
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,391
no matter what their
sexual orientation is.

308
00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:39,496
It's time someone was named
Ms. and Ms. pinkerton.

309
00:12:46,845 --> 00:12:48,981
Whew, man.

310
00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:51,554
Is there anything hotter
than high school lesbians?

311
00:12:51,621 --> 00:12:53,658
Speaking of which, where's lily?

312
00:12:53,725 --> 00:12:55,294
I don't know, man.
I been calling her all day.

313
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:57,765
Found her phone in my locker.

314
00:12:57,833 --> 00:13:00,204
She said she was nauseous
last night, so...

315
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,706
Hmm.

316
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:04,010
Probably got a good look
at herself in the mirror.

317
00:13:04,078 --> 00:13:05,981
Shut up, man.

318
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:08,119
Next up, representing Max
Owens and Robin pretnar,

319
00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:09,856
is Robin pretnar.

320
00:13:17,805 --> 00:13:21,678
My fellow pinkertonians,

321
00:13:21,746 --> 00:13:24,250
whoever you vote for will
be the face of pinkerton...

322
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:25,785
for the next school year.

323
00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:27,422
Don't you want that
face to be attractive...

324
00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,695
and popular and a real couple?

325
00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:33,000
I mean, I didn't even
know who RJ Berger was...

326
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:36,606
until he dropped trou in
front of the entire school.

327
00:13:36,674 --> 00:13:39,212
And as for Jenny Swanson,

328
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,981
well, we used to be friends.

329
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:42,885
That is, until she became a tyrant...

330
00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:45,056
and broke my poor maxy's heart.

331
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,828
Is that really the kind of couple...

332
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,531
you want representing pinkerton?

333
00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:52,604
Max and I are the right choice.

334
00:13:52,672 --> 00:13:54,141
The only choice.

335
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,079
We love you all.

336
00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:05,329
Thank you, Robin.

337
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:07,433
Now it's time for our final speaker,

338
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,635
RJ Berger.

339
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:10,305
You're gonna do great.

340
00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:11,874
Not that this should bias you,
but it's because of him...

341
00:14:11,942 --> 00:14:14,079
I'll be spending the
rest of my life alone.

342
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,348
RJ.

343
00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:20,758
Let's go, RJ.

344
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,029
Confidence.

345
00:14:23,098 --> 00:14:24,332
I hope you choke on the microphone.

346
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:29,609
Thank you, coach.

347
00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:31,880
Robin is right.

348
00:14:31,948 --> 00:14:33,116
Everything changed...

349
00:14:33,183 --> 00:14:35,487
after the whole school
learned about my...

350
00:14:35,554 --> 00:14:36,522
Secret.

351
00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:37,958
But I'm not the
only guy here...

352
00:14:38,026 --> 00:14:39,828
with a secret.

353
00:14:43,336 --> 00:14:45,940
In fact, we all have things...

354
00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:49,380
that we're afraid of
exposing to the world.

355
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:51,050
But that's because
we're in high school,

356
00:14:51,117 --> 00:14:52,953
and high school's hard.

357
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:55,391
But it also can be great...

358
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:58,164
if you have good friends,
supportive parents,

359
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,001
and most of all, if...

360
00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:02,172
We're lucky enough to
find that special someone.

361
00:15:02,239 --> 00:15:03,541
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

362
00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:06,313
as much as I'd like to
become Mr. pinkerton,

363
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,216
what I'd really like...

364
00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:12,691
more than anything in the world...

365
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,466
Is to be Amy bresner's boyfriend.

366
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,203
Amy, I realized
the best thing...

367
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:19,505
about being nominated for this...

368
00:15:19,573 --> 00:15:20,941
is that I can finally tell you...

369
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,780
in front of the whole school,

370
00:15:23,848 --> 00:15:25,751
this isn't just a crush.

371
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:28,322
You're the girl I've
been waiting for...

372
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,128
my entire life.

373
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:34,501
Amy...

374
00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:35,803
I love you.

375
00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:04,725
Hi.

376
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,765
Hi.

377
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,505
I love you, too.

378
00:16:12,842 --> 00:16:14,176
Hey, it's time to make a move.

379
00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:15,813
- Oh, cool.
- Let's roll.

380
00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,049
You see that?

381
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:18,151
RJ and Jenny aren't a real couple.

382
00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:19,453
Disqualify them.

383
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,690
Technically, there's
nothing in the rules...

384
00:16:20,757 --> 00:16:21,792
that say you have to be a real couple.

385
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:23,161
And since I'd like...

386
00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:24,830
to get the hell away from you people...

387
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:26,634
for a few months, anyway,
get out your phones,

388
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:27,836
and keep your eye on the big board.

389
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,239
You got one minute to cast your vote,

390
00:16:29,307 --> 00:16:32,411
starting...Now.

391
00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:43,165
Shh, shh.

392
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:44,368
Shh, shh, shh.

393
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,840
Right there, right there.

394
00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:49,545
Agh!

395
00:16:49,612 --> 00:16:51,215
Great. It's locked.

396
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:52,284
No worries, homes.

397
00:16:52,351 --> 00:16:55,256
I got a friend inside.

398
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:59,063
Open!

399
00:16:59,131 --> 00:17:01,067
Ha, what up, homie?

400
00:17:01,135 --> 00:17:03,438
Yo, where do I plug this bad boy in?

401
00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:05,008
Uh, you got me, homie.

402
00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:06,978
Uh, w... oh.

403
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,481
Don't panic. Okay.

404
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,117
My brother Chet...

405
00:17:10,185 --> 00:17:11,019
was in the bomb squad over in Iraq.

406
00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:12,288
- Okay.
- And he said

407
00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:14,426
it's always the, um, the red one!

408
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:15,862
Okay. All right, you got this.

409
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:17,265
Hey, hey. Wait for my cue, okay?

410
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,267
Yeah.

411
00:17:18,335 --> 00:17:21,139
Ooh, that's hot.

412
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,377
What's a cue?

413
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:29,388
We have a winner.

414
00:17:29,456 --> 00:17:31,025
The moment you all been waiting for.

415
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:35,634
Mr. and miss pinkerton 2011 are...

416
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,036
Who else?

417
00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:39,942
Max Owens and Robin pretnar.

418
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:55,806
Students of pinkerton.

419
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:56,975
You mean those stupid,

420
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,513
easily manipulated puppets?

421
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,283
This school is full of pathetic losers.

422
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:02,952
Peasants.

423
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,021
All I have to do is smile and wave...

424
00:18:04,089 --> 00:18:05,792
and have Max on my arm.

425
00:18:05,859 --> 00:18:06,860
He might be dumber than the dialogue...

426
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:08,597
<i>in the last airbender,</i>

427
00:18:08,665 --> 00:18:11,169
but he's pretty.

428
00:18:11,236 --> 00:18:12,838
We did it! We did it!

429
00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:35,232
Max, wait. I didn't mean it.

430
00:18:35,299 --> 00:18:37,143
Say something!

431
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:38,887
Yeah, I'll say something.

432
00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:41,334
Good-bye, Robin.

433
00:18:54,145 --> 00:18:58,168
Unfortunately,
in light of this revelation,

434
00:18:58,235 --> 00:19:00,883
and because we're gonna
have a riot if I don't,

435
00:19:00,952 --> 00:19:02,996
I declare Jenny Swanson
and RJ [Bleep] Berger.

436
00:19:03,064 --> 00:19:05,108
the new Mr. and miss pinkerton.

437
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:06,483
You guys won.

438
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,055
We did it!

439
00:19:13,124 --> 00:19:15,336
We did it!

440
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,811
Oh, this is awesome.

441
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,521
Oh, my God, RJ, I can't believe we won!

442
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,613
Go ahead and give Mr. pinkerton a hug.

443
00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:24,725
Oh, Mr. pinkerton.

444
00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:26,368
Okay, now, that's enough. Okay.

445
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:28,044
Berger.

446
00:19:28,113 --> 00:19:29,956
Can I talk to you?

447
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:37,366
I want to thank you...

448
00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:39,378
For keeping my secret.

449
00:19:39,447 --> 00:19:40,854
Look, Max...

450
00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:42,832
You're not gonna be able to
keep your secret forever.

451
00:19:42,901 --> 00:19:46,219
And you might want to choose
some better friends...

452
00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:49,739
for when everyone gets
to meet the real you.

453
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:52,757
You might be the better man, Berger.

454
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,937
That does not mean that you are not...

455
00:19:55,005 --> 00:19:56,648
the better dead man.

456
00:19:56,716 --> 00:19:59,665
Congrats, Mr. pinkerton.

457
00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:04,460
I expect nothing less.

458
00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:05,734
Yo, lily.

459
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,109
Where you been?

460
00:20:07,178 --> 00:20:09,826
Babe, I've been worried.

461
00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:13,011
I was at the hospital.

462
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,091
RJ, I'm...

463
00:20:15,158 --> 00:20:18,511
Pregnant.

464
00:20:18,579 --> 00:20:20,891
And it's yours.

465
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,101
Hakuna matata, Berger.

466
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:29,744
Looks like I ain't the only one...

467
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,494
making your life a
living hell next year.

468
00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:41,088
My name is RJ Berger,

469
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,876
and I'm going to be a dad.

470
00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:47,208
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

