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Previously on the Hard Times
of RJ Berger...
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Vote the non-douchebag party!
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Why is my name on this
with Jenny?
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00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:08,346
You've been Max Owens' bitch
for 16 years.
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00:00:08,414 --> 00:00:10,647
I got nominated,
and the girl I love hates me.
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I'm gonna ask your mother
to become
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Mrs. coach jeriba sinclair.
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00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:17,018
What the...
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00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:20,153
This started
as the best week of my life.
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00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,821
But now it feels like
my head
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00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,422
is going to explode.
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I hardly know where to start
to fix what's gone wrong.
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[Grunting]
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[Water sloshes]
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Morning, Berger.
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Not even the sight
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of my lifelong Nemesis
kissing another guy
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can pull me out
of this emotional tailspin.
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Looking good, ladies.
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No, the only thing
that will save me
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from permanent depression
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is winning back
the girl I love.
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My name is RJ Berger.
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And love sucks.
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Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:03,745 --> 00:01:07,213
[upbeat rock music]
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Aren't there some pills
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you can take for this crap?
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I mean, come on
with the moping already.
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I'm sorry, Miles.
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My heart's been ripped
out of my chest.
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Agh, hey!
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Oh, I'm sorry, dirk diggler.
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Can we please
not do this today?
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Oh, are you too busy?
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Yeah, I understand
being a loser
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is a full-time job.
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It's on.
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Oh, dude,
they're gonna fight.
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See, every time I think
about not kicking your ass,
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you go and do
something stupid.
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Like run against me
for Mr. pinkerton.
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You know that wasn't
my idea.
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Sorry, Berger.
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This is gonna hurt you
a lot more than it hurts me.
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- Punch him in the penis!
- Come on, come on.
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[Whispering]
I know about guillermo.
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I saw you two
in the shower.
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[Exhales]
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Whoa, whoa, what?
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- What?
- Dude, come on.
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- Come on, come on.
- Max.
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What are you doing?
What the hell?
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Kick his ass.
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Dude, that was awesome.
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You totally just
jedi-mind-tricked Max.
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What did you say?
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[Alternative rock music]
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♪ ♪
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Look at those two.
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I said look.
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Right, cool.
Eyes on the prize.
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Uh, not cool.
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They're pretending
to be a couple again,
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trying to take
what's rightfully ours.
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Someone needs to smack
Berger around
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like a hillbilly housewife.
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Um, last time I checked,
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you had your chance
this morning,
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but you pussied out.
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What are you two doing?
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Oh, nothing.
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Lily's just showing me
how to use her phone.
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We're working out
a little somethin'-somethin'
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just in case.
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Oh, what are you going
to wear tomorrow?
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We need to go over wardrobe.
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We need to go over
your speech.
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This year,
people are voting
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after the speeches
by text.
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Oh, dope.
Just like American idol.
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What?
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I enjoy watching people
strive for their dreams.
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Forget about people's dreams.
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All I wanna know
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is how you got Max
to back down this morning.
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Yeah, I heard about that.
What happened?
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Could we, um...
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Talk in private?
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Yeah.
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I don't know
how to say this.
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Have you ever noticed
anything...
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Different about Max?
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Well, he's not really
a strong reader.
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No, like,
not that kind of different.
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What do you mean?
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I kinda saw him...
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Kissing someone
in the locker room.
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[Whispering]
A guy.
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Guillermo.
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I-I came to you
because you know him
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better than anyone,
and if I told Miles,
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it'd be a trending topic
on Twitter by sundown.
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Oh, my God, RJ.
This all makes sense now.
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What?
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There was this time
he asked me
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to dress up
in Patterson's football uniform.
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I don't know.
I feel kinda weird.
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You look amazing.
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Just...
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Don't forget the helmet.
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His obsession
with manscaping...
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Perfect. Heart-shaped landing strip.
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Whoo! Yeah.
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And us never having sex.
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Oh, my God, RJ.
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[Whispering]
Max is gay.
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You know...
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If we really wanted to win
Mr. and miss pinkerton...
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I know, I know.
Trust me.
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I've considered it.
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But he doesn't deserve that.
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Max may be an asshole,
but I couldn't stoop that low.
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And I don't really care
about Mr. and miss pinkerton.
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What I care about
is winning Amy back.
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So what are we gonna do?
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Why don't you tell me
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about that little
somethin'-somethin'
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you and lily
are working on
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just in case?
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Okay, well...
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[Heavy metal music]
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♪ ♪
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Amy!
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Amy, wait!
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Amy.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Don't bother, RJ.
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There's nothing left to say.
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You and Jenny belong together.
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What are you talking about?
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I saw you two hugging.
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Take it from a girl.
She still has feelings for you.
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But I don't have feelings
for her.
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You said yourself that
you've loved her
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since the third grade.
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I had a crush on her.
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Love is vastly different.
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I didn't even understand
what love was until now.
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But I do.
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Because I love you.
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We're in high school, RJ.
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Nobody really loves
anybody.
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Wait.
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Amy, Amy!
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♪ ♪
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Good morning, Berger.
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I need you to stay
at your fat friend's tonight.
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What? No.
It's a school night.
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Yeah.
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But it's happening tonight.
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I'm making your mama
my wife.
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- Tonight?
- Yeah.
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Well, you know,
when you find the person
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you wanna spend
the rest of your life with,
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you want the rest of your life
to start right now.
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Plus, I'm sure
to be rewarded
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with illegal-in-48-states
engagement sex.
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Where you going?
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Hey, don't tell nobody.
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I want Suzanne
to be surprised.
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[Door slams]
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Dad, dad, dad, dad.
We need to talk.
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Darn tootin' we do,
Mr. pinkerton nominee.
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I am so proud of you, bud.
No, no, for real.
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Dad, coach is about
to ask mom
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to marry him.
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[Dramatic chor
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♪ ♪
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[Screams like a beast]
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[In slow motion]
Daaaaaad!
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[Screaming]
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Sinclair!
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You've gone too far!
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Yeah, that's what
your wife said...
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While I was giving her
the business.
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You are marrying Suzanne
over my dead body!
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00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,894
I suggest you buy
a burial suit.
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Holy crap.
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Teacher fight!
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- Yeah, yeah.
- What the hell?
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- Well, here we go.
- Kick his ass, coach!
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00:07:11,763 --> 00:07:13,329
Ding, ding.
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You're going down, jeriba.
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Yeah, your ex-wife
said that, too.
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[Dramatic music]
196
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Oh, no, you didn't.
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Agh!
198
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,765
Ow!
199
00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:29,332
Ow.
200
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,266
- You had enough?
- Hell to the no.
201
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:33,133
I'm in the best shape
of my life.
202
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,401
Making sweet love to Suzanne
is like joining the gym.
203
00:07:35,468 --> 00:07:38,035
24 hour fit-n-ass.
204
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[Bellows like a bull]
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That's it.
206
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,568
Agh, my back.
207
00:07:43,636 --> 00:07:44,969
[Squeaky voice]
RJ?
208
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:45,969
Daaad!
209
00:07:46,037 --> 00:07:48,469
RJ!
210
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:52,437
Daaaaaaaaaad!
211
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:53,637
Face it, Berger.
212
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:55,937
She's moving on.
213
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:58,005
And the better, stronger,
and blacker man won.
214
00:07:58,073 --> 00:08:00,772
[Chuckles]
215
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:03,706
He's right.
Your mommy made a choice.
216
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,373
Sometimes we just have to know
when we're beat.
217
00:08:06,441 --> 00:08:09,174
Oh, everything hurts.
Okay.
218
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:19,543
Oh, oops.
I'm so sorry.
219
00:08:19,611 --> 00:08:20,976
I guess I didn't see you there.
220
00:08:21,044 --> 00:08:21,977
That's it.
221
00:08:22,045 --> 00:08:23,344
I've had it with your games.
222
00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:25,644
I'm the queen
of this school now, bitch.
223
00:08:25,712 --> 00:08:28,011
Actually, that's
for the students to decide.
224
00:08:28,079 --> 00:08:29,412
The students?
225
00:08:29,479 --> 00:08:31,378
You mean those stupid,
easily manipulated puppets?
226
00:08:31,446 --> 00:08:34,446
This school is full
of pathetic losers.
227
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,613
Peasants.
228
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,913
All I have to do
is smile and wave
229
00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:38,813
and have Max on my arm.
230
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:40,180
He might be dumber
than the dialogue
231
00:08:40,248 --> 00:08:42,414
in the last air bender,
but he's pretty.
232
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,148
I can't believe
we were ever friends.
233
00:08:44,215 --> 00:08:46,015
We were never friends.
234
00:08:46,082 --> 00:08:48,549
You were the perfect
Jenny Swanson,
235
00:08:48,616 --> 00:08:49,948
and I was your shadow.
236
00:08:50,016 --> 00:08:51,349
But no longer.
237
00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:53,749
You might as well
just drop out of the race now,
238
00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:55,450
save yourself
the embarrassment of losing,
239
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:57,483
and from me making your life
a living hell.
240
00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:59,885
God, I wanna hit you right now.
241
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:03,352
But a black eye
would cause sympathy.
242
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:08,653
Choke on that, Barbie.
243
00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:15,554
[Bell chimes]
244
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,388
[Knock at door]
Dad?
245
00:09:18,456 --> 00:09:22,889
Dad!
246
00:09:22,956 --> 00:09:25,523
RJ, is that you?
247
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:27,057
Dad, are you okay?
248
00:09:27,124 --> 00:09:28,390
Yeah, fine.
249
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,357
I just took a few Vicodin
for my back.
250
00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:32,957
- How many?
- All of them.
251
00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:34,324
Dad, come on.
Look at yourself.
252
00:09:34,392 --> 00:09:35,992
You can't just give up.
253
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,659
Sure I can.
See how easy it is?
254
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,559
Think you're the only one
with girl troubles?
255
00:09:40,627 --> 00:09:41,993
All right,
Amy just dumped me,
256
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:43,260
but I'm gonna fight for her,
257
00:09:43,327 --> 00:09:44,493
and you have to fight
for mom, too!
258
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,361
I did fight, son.
259
00:09:46,429 --> 00:09:47,494
I lost.
260
00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:48,661
There are other ways
to fight.
261
00:09:48,729 --> 00:09:50,761
You have to use
your strengths.
262
00:09:50,829 --> 00:09:52,228
Use the gift
that God gave you.
263
00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:54,095
My penis.
264
00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:56,629
The other one.
Your mind, dad.
265
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,196
Yeah, of course you lost
a physical fight to coach.
266
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:01,431
He's a gym teacher.
You...
267
00:10:01,498 --> 00:10:02,897
You are a...
268
00:10:02,964 --> 00:10:05,564
Substitute English teacher.
269
00:10:05,632 --> 00:10:08,065
You're right.
And I have the...
270
00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:10,232
I have the perfect thing
to get your mother back.
271
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,399
[Triumphant music]
272
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,533
♪ ♪
273
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,367
[Sensuous music]
274
00:10:17,435 --> 00:10:20,234
♪ ♪
275
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:22,835
Well, that was
truly delicious.
276
00:10:22,903 --> 00:10:23,968
Only the best for my baby.
277
00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:26,369
I'm stuffed.
278
00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,736
There's always room...
279
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:33,570
For bling.
280
00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:37,638
Suzanne...
281
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,338
When I met you...
282
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,138
I thought you were
a hot piece of ass.
283
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,906
But now that I know you,
284
00:10:43,973 --> 00:10:47,406
you are
the hot piece of ass
285
00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:49,240
that I wanna spend
the rest of my life with.
286
00:10:49,308 --> 00:10:51,908
Oh, jeriba.
287
00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:54,908
Okay, dad.
Breathe.
288
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:56,608
Try and keep it together
in there.
289
00:10:56,676 --> 00:10:57,909
I will, son.
With you by my side,
290
00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,209
I can't lose.
291
00:11:00,277 --> 00:11:01,810
I object!
292
00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:03,776
Rick!
RJ, what are you doing here?
293
00:11:03,844 --> 00:11:05,777
- Dad has something to say.
- Yeah.
294
00:11:05,845 --> 00:11:07,577
[Clears throat]
295
00:11:07,645 --> 00:11:09,378
"Sweet Suzy shapiro,
296
00:11:09,446 --> 00:11:11,878
"the hottest girl in school,
297
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,411
"I wrote a little something,
298
00:11:13,479 --> 00:11:14,711
"and I hope you think
it's cool.
299
00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:16,412
"I love the way you danced
300
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,246
"when I took you
to bon jovi.
301
00:11:18,314 --> 00:11:19,846
"I love the face you made
302
00:11:19,914 --> 00:11:21,346
"when I nibbled
your anchovy.
303
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,680
"But you're not just
super-freaky.
304
00:11:23,748 --> 00:11:26,047
"You're also super-nice.
305
00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:28,382
"Come hang at my place Sunday.
306
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:31,415
We'll watch Miami vice."
307
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,682
I read this to you
308
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,982
the first night
that we made love.
309
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:36,817
I remember.
310
00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:38,484
We were so young and innocent.
311
00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:40,551
We did an entire month
of missionary.
312
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,218
I can do missionary.
313
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:43,684
I don't mind looking you
in the face.
314
00:11:43,752 --> 00:11:45,952
I've learned something,
Suzanne.
315
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,586
I'm still the same boy
that you fell in love with,
316
00:11:48,654 --> 00:11:50,419
but with the added knowledge
of a man
317
00:11:50,487 --> 00:11:54,821
who's lived five months
in a hooker motel.
318
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,254
Can we please give it
another shot?
319
00:11:57,322 --> 00:11:58,787
- Hell, no!
- Oh, Rick!
320
00:11:58,855 --> 00:12:00,388
Oh, God!
321
00:12:00,456 --> 00:12:02,322
Oh.
322
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:04,122
Good news, Berger.
323
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,223
The love that I felt
for your mother
324
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,556
has now been replaced
by the hatred
325
00:12:07,623 --> 00:12:11,890
I feel for you.
326
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:15,191
I can live with that.
327
00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:19,902
[Moans and laughter]
328
00:12:22,852 --> 00:12:25,887
[Upbeat rock music]
329
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:29,591
♪ ♪
330
00:12:30,347 --> 00:12:31,915
We want people
to accept each other
331
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,218
and accept themselves,
332
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,391
no matter what
their sexual orientation is.
333
00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:39,496
It's time someone was named
Ms. and Ms. pinkerton.
334
00:12:39,565 --> 00:12:41,400
[Cheers and applause]
335
00:12:46,845 --> 00:12:48,981
Whew, man.
336
00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:51,554
Is there anything hotter
than high school lesbians?
337
00:12:51,621 --> 00:12:53,658
Speaking of which,
where's lily?
338
00:12:53,725 --> 00:12:55,294
I don't know, man.
I been calling her all day.
339
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:57,765
Found her phone in my locker.
340
00:12:57,833 --> 00:13:00,204
She said she was nauseous
last night, so...
341
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,706
Hmm.
342
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:04,010
Probably got a good look
at herself in the mirror.
343
00:13:04,078 --> 00:13:05,981
Shut up, man.
344
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:08,119
Next up, representing
Max Owens and Robin pretnar,
345
00:13:08,186 --> 00:13:09,856
is Robin pretnar.
346
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:13,562
[Cheers and applause]
347
00:13:17,805 --> 00:13:21,678
My fellow pinkertonians,
348
00:13:21,746 --> 00:13:24,250
whoever you vote for will be
the face of pinkerton
349
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:25,785
for the next school year.
350
00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:27,422
Don't you want that face
to be attractive
351
00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:30,695
and popular
and a real couple?
352
00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:33,000
I mean, I didn't even know
who RJ Berger was
353
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:36,606
until he dropped trou
in front of the entire school.
354
00:13:36,674 --> 00:13:39,212
And as for Jenny Swanson,
355
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,981
well, we used to be friends.
356
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:42,885
That is,
until she became a tyrant
357
00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:45,056
and broke my poor maxy's heart.
358
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,192
[Audience awws]
359
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,828
Is that really
the kind of couple
360
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,531
you want
representing pinkerton?
361
00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:52,604
Max and I are
the right choice.
362
00:13:52,672 --> 00:13:54,141
The only choice.
363
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:57,079
We love you all.
364
00:13:57,147 --> 00:14:00,520
[Wild cheers and applause]
365
00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:05,329
Thank you, Robin.
366
00:14:05,396 --> 00:14:07,433
Now it's time
for our final speaker,
367
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,635
RJ Berger.
368
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:10,305
You're gonna do great.
369
00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:11,874
Not that this should bias you,
but it's because of him
370
00:14:11,942 --> 00:14:14,079
I'll be spending
the rest of my life alone.
371
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,348
RJ.
372
00:14:15,415 --> 00:14:17,018
[Scattered applause]
373
00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:20,758
Let's go, RJ.
374
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,029
Confidence.
375
00:14:23,098 --> 00:14:24,332
I hope you choke
on the microphone.
376
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,337
[Soft piano music]
377
00:14:27,406 --> 00:14:28,339
[Microphone squeals]
378
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:29,609
Thank you, coach.
379
00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:30,778
[Clears throat]
380
00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:31,880
Robin is right.
381
00:14:31,948 --> 00:14:33,116
Everything changed
382
00:14:33,183 --> 00:14:35,487
after the whole school
learned about my...
383
00:14:35,554 --> 00:14:36,522
Secret.
384
00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:37,958
But I'm not the only guy here
385
00:14:38,026 --> 00:14:39,828
with a secret.
386
00:14:39,896 --> 00:14:43,268
[Ominous chord]
387
00:14:43,336 --> 00:14:45,940
In fact,
we all have things
388
00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:49,380
that we're afraid of exposing
to the world.
389
00:14:49,448 --> 00:14:51,050
But that's because
we're in high school,
390
00:14:51,117 --> 00:14:52,953
and high school's hard.
391
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:55,391
But it also can be great
392
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:58,164
if you have good friends,
supportive parents,
393
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,001
and most of all, if...
394
00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:02,172
We're lucky enough to find
that special someone.
395
00:15:02,239 --> 00:15:03,541
I guess what I'm trying
to say is
396
00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:06,313
as much as I'd like
to become Mr. pinkerton,
397
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,216
what I'd really like
398
00:15:08,284 --> 00:15:12,691
more than anything
in the world...
399
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,466
Is to be Amy bresner's
boyfriend.
400
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,203
Amy, I realized the best thing
401
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:19,505
about being nominated
for this
402
00:15:19,573 --> 00:15:20,941
is that I
can finally tell you
403
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,780
in front of the whole school,
404
00:15:23,848 --> 00:15:25,751
this isn't just a crush.
405
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:28,322
You're the girl
I've been waiting for
406
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,128
my entire life.
407
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:34,501
Amy...
408
00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:35,803
I love you.
409
00:15:35,871 --> 00:15:38,876
[Romantic music]
410
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:45,622
♪ ♪
411
00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:04,725
Hi.
412
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:07,765
Hi.
413
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:11,505
I love you, too.
414
00:16:11,573 --> 00:16:12,774
[Phone ringing]
415
00:16:12,842 --> 00:16:14,176
Hey, it's time to make
a move.
416
00:16:14,245 --> 00:16:15,813
- Oh, cool.
- Let's roll.
417
00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,049
You see that?
418
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:18,151
RJ and Jenny
aren't a real couple.
419
00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:19,453
Disqualify them.
420
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,690
Technically,
there's nothing in the rules
421
00:16:20,757 --> 00:16:21,792
that say you have to be
a real couple.
422
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:23,161
And since I'd like
423
00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:24,830
to get the hell away
from you people
424
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:26,634
for a few months, anyway,
get out your phones,
425
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:27,836
and keep your eye
on the big board.
426
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,239
You got one minute
to cast your vote,
427
00:16:29,307 --> 00:16:32,411
starting...Now.
428
00:16:32,479 --> 00:16:35,618
[Suspenseful music]
429
00:16:35,685 --> 00:16:41,730
♪ ♪
430
00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:43,165
Shh, shh.
431
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:44,368
Shh, shh, shh.
432
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,840
Right there, right there.
433
00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:49,545
Agh!
434
00:16:49,612 --> 00:16:51,215
Great.
It's locked.
435
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:52,284
No worries, homes.
436
00:16:52,351 --> 00:16:55,256
I got a friend inside.
437
00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,392
[Beats on door]
438
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:59,063
[High-pitched voice]
Open!
439
00:16:59,131 --> 00:17:01,067
Ha, what up, homie?
440
00:17:01,135 --> 00:17:03,438
Yo, where do I plug
this bad boy in?
441
00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:05,008
Uh, you got me, homie.
442
00:17:05,076 --> 00:17:06,978
Uh, w... oh.
443
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,481
Don't panic.
Okay.
444
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,117
My brother Chet
445
00:17:10,185 --> 00:17:11,019
was in the bomb squad
over in Iraq.
446
00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:12,288
- Okay.
- And he said
447
00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:14,426
it's always the, um,
the red one!
448
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:15,862
Okay.
All right, you got this.
449
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:17,265
Hey, hey.
Wait for my cue, okay?
450
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,267
Yeah.
[Zap!]
451
00:17:18,335 --> 00:17:21,139
Ooh, that's hot.
452
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,377
What's a cue?
453
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:29,388
We have a winner.
454
00:17:29,456 --> 00:17:31,025
The moment you all
been waiting for.
455
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:35,634
Mr. and miss pinkerton 2011
are...
456
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,036
Who else?
457
00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:39,942
Max Owens and Robin pretnar.
458
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:55,806
Students of pinkerton.
459
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:56,975
[On intercom]
You mean those stupid,
460
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,513
easily manipulated puppets?
461
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,283
This school is full
of pathetic losers.
462
00:18:01,351 --> 00:18:02,952
Peasants.
463
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,021
All I have to do
is smile and wave
464
00:18:04,089 --> 00:18:05,792
and have Max on my arm.
465
00:18:05,859 --> 00:18:06,860
He might be dumber
than the dialogue
466
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:08,597
in the last airbender,
467
00:18:08,665 --> 00:18:11,169
but he's pretty.
468
00:18:11,236 --> 00:18:12,838
We did it!
We did it!
469
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,027
[Laughing like maniacs]
470
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,195
[Booing]
471
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:27,079
[Booing]
472
00:18:33,086 --> 00:18:35,232
Max, wait.
I didn't mean it.
473
00:18:35,299 --> 00:18:37,143
Say something!
474
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:38,887
Yeah, I'll say something.
475
00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:41,334
Good-bye, Robin.
476
00:18:41,402 --> 00:18:44,218
[Kids booing]
477
00:18:54,145 --> 00:18:58,168
Unfortunately,
in light of this revelation,
478
00:18:58,235 --> 00:19:00,883
and because we're gonna have
a riot if I don't,
479
00:19:00,952 --> 00:19:02,996
I declare Jenny Swanson
and RJ [Bleep] Berger.
480
00:19:03,064 --> 00:19:05,108
the new Mr. and miss pinkerton.
481
00:19:05,176 --> 00:19:06,483
You guys won.
482
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,055
We did it!
483
00:19:13,124 --> 00:19:15,336
We did it!
484
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,811
Oh, this is awesome.
485
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,521
Oh, my God, RJ,
I can't believe we won!
486
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,265
[Squeals]
487
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,613
Go ahead and give
Mr. pinkerton a hug.
488
00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:24,725
Oh, Mr. pinkerton.
[Laughing]
489
00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:26,368
Okay, now, that's enough.
Okay.
490
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:28,044
Berger.
491
00:19:28,113 --> 00:19:29,956
Can I talk to you?
492
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:37,366
I want to thank you...
493
00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:39,378
For keeping my secret.
494
00:19:39,447 --> 00:19:40,854
Look, Max...
495
00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:42,832
You're not gonna be able
to keep your secret forever.
496
00:19:42,901 --> 00:19:46,219
And you might want to choose
some better friends
497
00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:49,739
for when everyone
gets to meet the real you.
498
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:52,757
You might be
the better man, Berger.
499
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:54,937
That does not mean
that you are not
500
00:19:55,005 --> 00:19:56,648
the better dead man.
501
00:19:56,716 --> 00:19:59,665
Congrats, Mr. pinkerton.
502
00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:04,460
I expect nothing less.
503
00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:05,734
Yo, lily.
504
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,109
Where you been?
505
00:20:07,178 --> 00:20:09,826
Babe, I've been worried.
506
00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:13,011
I was at the hospital.
507
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,091
RJ, I'm...
508
00:20:15,158 --> 00:20:18,511
Pregnant.
509
00:20:18,579 --> 00:20:20,891
And it's yours.
510
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,546
[Dramatic music]
511
00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:26,390
♪ ♪
512
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,101
Hakuna matata, Berger.
513
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:29,744
Looks like I ain't
the only one
514
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,494
making your life
a living hell next year.
515
00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:41,088
My name is RJ Berger,
516
00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:42,876
and I'm going to be a dad.
517
00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:47,208
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com