1
00:00:00,118 --> 00:00:02,194
<i>Previously on the Hard Times
of RJ Berger...</i>

2
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,937
Vote the non-douchebag party!

3
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:05,644
Why is my name on this with Jenny?

4
00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:08,346
You've been Max Owens'
bitch for 16 years.

5
00:00:08,414 --> 00:00:10,647
I got nominated,
and the girl I love hates me.

6
00:00:10,715 --> 00:00:12,349
I'm going to ask your mother to become...

7
00:00:12,417 --> 00:00:14,083
Mrs. coach Jeriba Sinclair.

8
00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:17,018
What the...

9
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:20,153
This started as the
best week of my life.

10
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,821
But now it feels like my head...

11
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,422
is going to explode.

12
00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:27,851
I hardly know where to start
to fix what's gone wrong.

13
00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:31,926
Morning, Berger.

14
00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:35,961
Not even the sight...

15
00:00:36,029 --> 00:00:39,564
of my lifelong Nemesis
kissing another guy...

16
00:00:39,632 --> 00:00:42,099
can pull me out of this
emotional tailspin.

17
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,467
Looking good, ladies.

18
00:00:44,535 --> 00:00:47,935
No, the only thing that will save me...

19
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,603
from permanent depression...

20
00:00:49,671 --> 00:00:54,072
is winning back the girl I love.

21
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,773
<i>My name is RJ Berger.</i>

22
00:00:56,841 --> 00:00:58,909
<i>And love sucks.</i>

23
00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:08,314
Aren't there some pills...

24
00:01:08,381 --> 00:01:10,148
you can take for this crap?

25
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,249
I mean, come on with
the moping already.

26
00:01:12,317 --> 00:01:13,450
I'm sorry, Miles.

27
00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:15,584
My heart's been ripped out of my chest.

28
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:17,286
Agh, hey!

29
00:01:17,353 --> 00:01:18,986
Oh, I'm sorry, dirk diggler.

30
00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:21,321
Can we please not do this today?

31
00:01:21,389 --> 00:01:22,755
Oh, are you too busy?

32
00:01:22,823 --> 00:01:24,490
Yeah, I understand being a loser...

33
00:01:24,558 --> 00:01:26,424
is a full-time job.

34
00:01:26,492 --> 00:01:27,925
It's on.

35
00:01:27,992 --> 00:01:30,092
Oh, dude, they're going to fight.

36
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,660
See, every time I think
about not kicking your ass,

37
00:01:31,727 --> 00:01:33,395
you go and do something stupid.

38
00:01:33,463 --> 00:01:35,329
Like run against me for Mr. Pinkerton.

39
00:01:35,397 --> 00:01:36,596
You know that wasn't my idea.

40
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,164
Sorry, Berger.

41
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,865
This is going to hurt you a
lot more than it hurts me.

42
00:01:43,884 --> 00:01:47,002
I know about Guillermo.

43
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:48,703
I saw you two in the shower.

44
00:01:51,306 --> 00:01:52,339
Whoa, whoa, what?

45
00:01:52,407 --> 00:01:54,040
- What?
- Dude, come on.

46
00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:55,440
- Come on, come on.
- Max.

47
00:01:55,508 --> 00:01:57,075
What are you doing? What the hell?

48
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:58,676
Kick his ass.

49
00:02:02,612 --> 00:02:04,245
Dude, that was awesome.

50
00:02:04,313 --> 00:02:06,613
You totally just jedi-mind-tricked Max.

51
00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:10,449
What did you say?

52
00:02:18,654 --> 00:02:20,422
Look at those two.

53
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:21,789
I said look.

54
00:02:21,857 --> 00:02:24,123
Right, cool. Eyes on the prize.

55
00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:26,191
Uh, not cool.

56
00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:27,292
They're pretending
to be a couple again,

57
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,960
trying to take what's rightfully ours.

58
00:02:29,027 --> 00:02:30,460
Someone needs to smack Berger around...

59
00:02:30,528 --> 00:02:32,127
like a hillbilly housewife.

60
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,295
Um, last time I checked,

61
00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:34,696
you had your chance this morning,

62
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:38,432
but you pussied out.

63
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,398
What are you two doing?

64
00:02:39,466 --> 00:02:41,000
Oh, nothing.

65
00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:42,534
Lily's just showing me
how to use her phone.

66
00:02:42,602 --> 00:02:43,834
We're working out a little
somethin'-somethin'...

67
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,135
just in case.

68
00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:46,003
Oh, what are you going
to wear tomorrow?

69
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:47,570
We need to go over wardrobe.

70
00:02:47,638 --> 00:02:48,904
We need to go over your speech.

71
00:02:48,972 --> 00:02:50,705
This year, people are voting...

72
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,507
after the speeches by text.

73
00:02:52,574 --> 00:02:55,708
<i>Oh, dope. Just like American idol.</i>

74
00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:57,376
What?

75
00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,711
I enjoy watching people
strive for their dreams.

76
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:00,911
Forget about people's dreams.

77
00:03:00,979 --> 00:03:02,512
All I want to know...

78
00:03:02,579 --> 00:03:04,614
is how you got Max to
back down this morning.

79
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,381
Yeah, I heard about that.
What happened?

80
00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:08,983
Could we, um...

81
00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:12,184
Talk in private?

82
00:03:12,252 --> 00:03:15,086
Yeah.

83
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,555
I don't know how to say this.

84
00:03:18,622 --> 00:03:21,122
Have you ever noticed anything...

85
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:24,124
Different about Max?

86
00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:26,325
Well, he's not really a strong reader.

87
00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:28,560
No, like, not that kind of different.

88
00:03:28,628 --> 00:03:30,528
What do you mean?

89
00:03:30,595 --> 00:03:32,996
I kind of saw him...

90
00:03:33,063 --> 00:03:38,065
Kissing someone in the locker room.

91
00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:41,001
A guy.

92
00:03:41,068 --> 00:03:43,903
Guillermo.

93
00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,370
I came to you because you know him...

94
00:03:45,437 --> 00:03:48,272
better than anyone,
and if I told Miles,

95
00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:50,673
it'd be a trending topic
on Twitter by sundown.

96
00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,107
Oh, my God, RJ.
This all makes sense now.

97
00:03:52,174 --> 00:03:53,707
What?

98
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,209
There was this time he asked me...

99
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,944
to dress up in Patterson's
football uniform.

100
00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:00,112
I don't know. I feel kind of weird.

101
00:04:00,179 --> 00:04:01,078
You look amazing.

102
00:04:01,146 --> 00:04:03,346
Just...

103
00:04:03,414 --> 00:04:07,082
Don't forget the helmet.

104
00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:10,851
His obsession with manscaping...

105
00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:13,286
Perfect. Heart-shaped
landing strip.

106
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,487
Whoo! Yeah.

107
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:20,023
And us never having sex.

108
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:22,457
Oh, my God, RJ.

109
00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,258
Max is gay.

110
00:04:24,326 --> 00:04:26,693
You know...

111
00:04:26,761 --> 00:04:28,494
If we really wanted to win
Mr. and miss Pinkerton...

112
00:04:28,562 --> 00:04:29,695
I know, I know. Trust me.

113
00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:31,429
I've considered it.

114
00:04:31,497 --> 00:04:32,897
But he doesn't deserve that.

115
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:35,299
Max may be an asshole,
but I couldn't stoop that low.

116
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:37,766
And I don't really care about
Mr. and miss Pinkerton.

117
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,301
What I care about is winning Amy back.

118
00:04:39,368 --> 00:04:40,434
So what are we going to do?

119
00:04:40,502 --> 00:04:41,835
Why don't you tell me...

120
00:04:41,903 --> 00:04:43,336
about that little
somethin'-somethin'...

121
00:04:43,404 --> 00:04:44,736
you and lily are working on...

122
00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:47,505
just in case?

123
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:48,606
Okay, well...

124
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,547
Amy!

125
00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:05,149
Amy, wait!

126
00:05:05,216 --> 00:05:06,916
Amy.

127
00:05:06,984 --> 00:05:08,317
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't bother, RJ.

128
00:05:08,384 --> 00:05:09,284
There's nothing left to say.

129
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,318
You and Jenny belong together.

130
00:05:10,385 --> 00:05:11,886
What are you talking about?

131
00:05:11,954 --> 00:05:13,553
I saw you two hugging.

132
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:16,221
Take it from a girl.
She still has feelings for you.

133
00:05:16,289 --> 00:05:17,488
But I don't have feelings for her.

134
00:05:17,556 --> 00:05:18,423
You said yourself that
you've loved her...

135
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:19,424
since the third grade.

136
00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:20,891
I had a crush on her.

137
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:23,225
Love is vastly different.

138
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:25,994
I didn't even understand
what love was until now.

139
00:05:26,062 --> 00:05:27,227
But I do.

140
00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:28,729
Because I love you.

141
00:05:28,797 --> 00:05:30,663
We're in high school, RJ.

142
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,332
Nobody really loves anybody.

143
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,632
Wait.

144
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,534
Amy, Amy!

145
00:05:47,512 --> 00:05:49,611
Good morning, Berger.

146
00:05:49,679 --> 00:05:52,178
I need you to stay at
your fat friend's tonight.

147
00:05:52,246 --> 00:05:53,379
What? No. It's a school night.

148
00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:54,413
Yeah.

149
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,880
But it's happening tonight.

150
00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:58,980
I'm making your mama my wife.

151
00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:01,481
- Tonight?
- Yeah.

152
00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:03,848
Well, you know,
when you find the person...

153
00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:05,315
you want to spend the
rest of your life with,

154
00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:08,049
you want the rest of your
life to start right now.

155
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,650
Plus, I'm sure to be rewarded...

156
00:06:10,717 --> 00:06:13,317
with illegal-in-48-states
engagement sex.

157
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:17,150
Where you going?

158
00:06:17,218 --> 00:06:18,884
Hey, don't tell nobody.

159
00:06:18,952 --> 00:06:20,418
I want Suzanne to be surprised.

160
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,719
Dad, dad, dad, dad. We need to talk.

161
00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:32,320
Darn tootin' we do,
Mr. Pinkerton nominee.

162
00:06:32,388 --> 00:06:34,021
I am so proud of you, bud.
No, no, for real.

163
00:06:34,088 --> 00:06:35,254
Dad, coach is about to ask mom...

164
00:06:35,322 --> 00:06:36,288
to marry him.

165
00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,324
Daaaaaad!

166
00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:54,158
Sinclair!

167
00:06:54,226 --> 00:06:56,325
You've gone too far!

168
00:06:56,393 --> 00:06:57,859
Yeah, that's what your wife said...

169
00:06:57,927 --> 00:06:59,593
While I was giving her the business.

170
00:06:59,661 --> 00:07:02,394
You are marrying Suzanne
over my dead body!

171
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:04,794
I suggest you buy a burial suit.

172
00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:06,394
Holy crap.

173
00:07:06,461 --> 00:07:08,662
Teacher fight!

174
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:12,595
- Well, here we go.
- Kick his ass, coach!

175
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,229
Ding, ding.

176
00:07:14,297 --> 00:07:15,963
You're going down, Jeriba.

177
00:07:16,031 --> 00:07:17,330
Yeah, your ex-wife said that, too.

178
00:07:21,098 --> 00:07:23,464
Oh, no, you didn't.

179
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,166
- You had enough?
- Hell to the no.

180
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,033
I'm in the best shape of my life.

181
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,301
Making sweet love to Suzanne
is like joining the gym.

182
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,935
24 hour fit-n-ass.

183
00:07:40,302 --> 00:07:42,168
That's it.

184
00:07:42,236 --> 00:07:44,468
Agh, my back.

185
00:07:44,536 --> 00:07:45,869
RJ?

186
00:07:45,937 --> 00:07:46,869
Daaad!

187
00:07:46,937 --> 00:07:49,369
RJ!

188
00:07:49,437 --> 00:07:53,337
Daaaaaaaaaad!

189
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:54,537
Face it, Berger.

190
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:56,837
She's moving on.

191
00:07:56,905 --> 00:07:58,905
And the better, stronger,
and blacker man won.

192
00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:04,606
He's right. Your mommy made a choice.

193
00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:07,273
Sometimes we just have
to know when we're beat.

194
00:08:07,341 --> 00:08:10,074
Oh, everything hurts. Okay.

195
00:08:18,276 --> 00:08:20,443
Oh, oops. I'm so sorry.

196
00:08:20,511 --> 00:08:21,876
I guess I didn't see you there.

197
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:22,877
That's it.

198
00:08:22,945 --> 00:08:24,244
I've had it with your games.

199
00:08:24,311 --> 00:08:26,544
I'm the queen of this
school now, bitch.

200
00:08:26,612 --> 00:08:28,911
Actually, that's for
the students to decide.

201
00:08:28,979 --> 00:08:30,312
The students?

202
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,278
You mean those stupid,
easily manipulated puppets?

203
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,346
This school is full of pathetic losers.

204
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:36,513
Peasants.

205
00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:37,813
All I have to do is smile and wave...

206
00:08:37,881 --> 00:08:39,713
and have Max on my arm.

207
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:41,080
He might be dumber than the dialogue...

208
00:08:41,148 --> 00:08:43,314
<i>in the last air bender,
but he's pretty.</i>

209
00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:45,048
I can't believe we were ever friends.

210
00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:46,915
We were never friends.

211
00:08:46,982 --> 00:08:49,449
You were the perfect Jenny Swanson,

212
00:08:49,516 --> 00:08:50,848
and I was your shadow.

213
00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:52,249
But no longer.

214
00:08:52,317 --> 00:08:54,649
You might as well just
drop out of the race now,

215
00:08:54,717 --> 00:08:56,350
save yourself the
embarrassment of losing,

216
00:08:56,418 --> 00:08:58,383
and from me making your
life a living hell.

217
00:08:58,451 --> 00:09:00,785
God, I want to hit you right now.

218
00:09:00,851 --> 00:09:04,252
But a black eye would cause sympathy.

219
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:09,553
Choke on that, Barbie.

220
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:19,288
Dad?

221
00:09:19,356 --> 00:09:23,789
Dad!

222
00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:26,423
RJ, is that you?

223
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:27,957
Dad, are you okay?

224
00:09:28,024 --> 00:09:29,290
Yeah, fine.

225
00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:31,257
I just took a few Vicodin for my back.

226
00:09:31,325 --> 00:09:33,857
- How many?
- All of them.

227
00:09:33,925 --> 00:09:35,224
Dad, come on. Look at yourself.

228
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:36,892
You can't just give up.

229
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,559
Sure I can. See how easy it is?

230
00:09:39,627 --> 00:09:41,459
Think you're the only
one with girl troubles?

231
00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:42,893
All right, Amy just dumped me,

232
00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:44,160
but I'm going to fight for her,

233
00:09:44,227 --> 00:09:45,393
and you have to fight for mom, too!

234
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:47,261
I did fight, son.

235
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:48,394
I lost.

236
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,561
There are other ways to fight.

237
00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:51,661
You have to use your strengths.

238
00:09:51,729 --> 00:09:53,128
Use the gift that God gave you.

239
00:09:53,196 --> 00:09:54,995
My penis.

240
00:09:55,063 --> 00:09:57,529
The other one. Your mind, dad.

241
00:09:57,596 --> 00:10:00,096
Yeah, of course you lost a
physical fight to coach.

242
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,331
He's a gym teacher. You...

243
00:10:02,398 --> 00:10:03,797
You are a...

244
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,464
Substitute English teacher.

245
00:10:06,532 --> 00:10:08,965
You're right. And I have the...

246
00:10:09,032 --> 00:10:11,132
I have the perfect thing
to get your mother back.

247
00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:23,735
Well, that was truly delicious.

248
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:24,868
Only the best for my baby.

249
00:10:24,936 --> 00:10:27,269
I'm stuffed.

250
00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:29,636
There's always room...

251
00:10:29,704 --> 00:10:34,470
For bling.

252
00:10:34,538 --> 00:10:38,538
Suzanne...

253
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,238
When I met you...

254
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,038
<i>I thought you were a hot piece of ass.</i>

255
00:10:43,106 --> 00:10:44,806
But now that I know you,

256
00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:48,306
<i>you are the hot piece of ass...</i>

257
00:10:48,374 --> 00:10:50,140
that I want to spend the
rest of my life with.

258
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:52,808
Oh, Jeriba.

259
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:55,808
Okay, dad. Breathe.

260
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,508
Try and keep it together in there.

261
00:10:57,576 --> 00:10:58,809
I will, son. With you by my side,

262
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,109
I can't lose.

263
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,710
I object!

264
00:11:02,777 --> 00:11:04,676
Rick! RJ, what are you doing here?

265
00:11:04,744 --> 00:11:06,677
- Dad has something to say.
- Yeah.

266
00:11:08,545 --> 00:11:10,278
"Sweet Suzy Shapiro,

267
00:11:10,346 --> 00:11:12,778
the hottest girl in school"

268
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:14,311
I wrote a little something,

269
00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:15,611
and I hope you think it's cool.

270
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,312
"I love the way you danced...

271
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:19,146
when I took you to Bon Jovi.

272
00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:20,746
I love the face you made...

273
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,246
when I nibbled your anchovy.

274
00:11:22,314 --> 00:11:24,580
But you're not just super-freaky.

275
00:11:24,648 --> 00:11:26,947
You're also super-nice.

276
00:11:27,015 --> 00:11:29,282
Come hang at my place Sunday.

277
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,315
<i>We'll watch Miami vice."</i>

278
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:34,582
I read this to you...

279
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:35,882
the first night that we made love.

280
00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:37,717
I remember.

281
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:39,384
We were so young and innocent.

282
00:11:39,452 --> 00:11:41,451
We did an entire month of missionary.

283
00:11:41,518 --> 00:11:43,118
I can do missionary.

284
00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:44,584
I don't mind looking you in the face.

285
00:11:44,652 --> 00:11:46,852
I've learned something, Suzanne.

286
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,486
I'm still the same boy
that you fell in love with,

287
00:11:49,554 --> 00:11:51,319
but with the added
knowledge of a man...

288
00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:55,721
who's lived five months
in a hooker motel.

289
00:11:55,788 --> 00:11:58,154
Can we please give it another shot?

290
00:11:58,222 --> 00:11:59,687
- Hell, no!
- Oh, Rick!

291
00:11:59,755 --> 00:12:01,288
Oh, God!

292
00:12:01,356 --> 00:12:03,222
Oh.

293
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,022
Good news, Berger.

294
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:07,123
The love that I felt for your mother...

295
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:08,456
has now been replaced by the hatred...

296
00:12:08,523 --> 00:12:12,790
I feel for you.

297
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:16,091
I can live with that.

298
00:12:31,947 --> 00:12:33,515
We want people to accept each other...

299
00:12:33,584 --> 00:12:34,818
and accept themselves,

300
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:37,991
no matter what their
sexual orientation is.

301
00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:41,096
It's time someone was named
Ms. and Ms. Pinkerton.

302
00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:50,581
Whew, man.

303
00:12:50,649 --> 00:12:53,154
Is there anything hotter
than high school lesbians?

304
00:12:53,221 --> 00:12:55,258
Speaking of which, where's lily?

305
00:12:55,325 --> 00:12:56,894
I don't know, man.
I been calling her all day.

306
00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:59,365
Found her phone in my locker.

307
00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:01,804
She said she was nauseous
last night, so...

308
00:13:03,374 --> 00:13:05,610
Probably got a good look
at herself in the mirror.

309
00:13:05,678 --> 00:13:07,581
Shut up, man.

310
00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,719
Next up, representing Max
Owens and Robin Pretnar,

311
00:13:09,786 --> 00:13:11,456
is Robin Pretnar.

312
00:13:19,405 --> 00:13:23,278
My fellow pinkertonians,

313
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,850
whoever you vote for will
be the face of Pinkerton...

314
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:27,385
for the next school year.

315
00:13:27,453 --> 00:13:29,022
Don't you want that
face to be attractive...

316
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:32,295
and popular and a real couple?

317
00:13:32,363 --> 00:13:34,600
I mean, I didn't even
know who RJ Berger was...

318
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:38,206
until he dropped trou in
front of the entire school.

319
00:13:38,274 --> 00:13:40,812
And as for Jenny Swanson,

320
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,581
well, we used to be friends.

321
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,485
That is, until she became a tyrant...

322
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,656
and broke my poor Maxy's heart.

323
00:13:47,859 --> 00:13:49,428
Is that really the kind of couple...

324
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,131
you want representing Pinkerton?

325
00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:54,204
Max and I are the right choice.

326
00:13:54,272 --> 00:13:55,741
The only choice.

327
00:13:55,809 --> 00:13:58,679
We love you all.

328
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,929
Thank you, Robin.

329
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:09,033
Now it's time for our final speaker,

330
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,235
RJ Berger.

331
00:14:10,303 --> 00:14:11,905
You're going to do great.

332
00:14:11,973 --> 00:14:13,474
Not that this should bias you,
but it's because of him...

333
00:14:13,542 --> 00:14:15,679
I'll be spending the
rest of my life alone.

334
00:14:15,746 --> 00:14:16,948
RJ.

335
00:14:21,057 --> 00:14:22,358
Let's go, RJ.

336
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,629
Confidence.

337
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,932
I hope you choke on the microphone.

338
00:14:30,007 --> 00:14:31,209
Thank you, coach.

339
00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:33,480
Robin is right.

340
00:14:33,548 --> 00:14:34,716
Everything changed...

341
00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:37,087
after the whole school
learned about my...

342
00:14:37,154 --> 00:14:38,122
Secret.

343
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:39,558
But I'm not the
only guy here...

344
00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:41,428
with a secret.

345
00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:47,540
In fact, we all have things...

346
00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:50,980
that we're afraid of
exposing to the world.

347
00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:52,650
But that's because
we're in high school,

348
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,553
and high school's hard.

349
00:14:54,621 --> 00:14:56,991
But it also can be great...

350
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,764
if you have good friends,
supportive parents,

351
00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:01,601
and most of all, if...

352
00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:03,772
We're lucky enough to
find that special someone.

353
00:15:03,839 --> 00:15:05,141
I guess what I'm trying to say is...

354
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,913
as much as I'd like to
become Mr. Pinkerton,

355
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:09,816
what I'd really like...

356
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:14,291
more than anything in the world...

357
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:18,066
Is to be Amy Bresner's boyfriend.

358
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,803
Amy, I realized
the best thing...

359
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,105
about being nominated for this...

360
00:15:21,173 --> 00:15:22,541
is that I can finally tell you...

361
00:15:22,608 --> 00:15:25,380
in front of the whole school,

362
00:15:25,448 --> 00:15:27,351
this isn't just a crush.

363
00:15:27,418 --> 00:15:29,922
You're the girl I've
been waiting for...

364
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:32,728
my entire life.

365
00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:36,101
Amy...

366
00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,403
I love you.

367
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,325
Hi.

368
00:16:06,393 --> 00:16:09,365
Hi.

369
00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:13,105
I love you, too.

370
00:16:14,442 --> 00:16:15,776
Hey, it's time to make a move.

371
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:17,413
- Oh, cool.
- Let's roll.

372
00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:18,649
You see that?

373
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:19,751
RJ and Jenny aren't a real couple.

374
00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:21,053
Disqualify them.

375
00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:22,290
Technically, there's
nothing in the rules...

376
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,392
that say you have to be a real couple.

377
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,761
And since I'd like...

378
00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:26,430
to get the hell away from you people...

379
00:16:26,498 --> 00:16:28,234
for a few months, anyway,
get out your phones,

380
00:16:28,302 --> 00:16:29,436
and keep your eye on the big board.

381
00:16:29,504 --> 00:16:30,839
You got one minute to cast your vote,

382
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,011
starting...Now.

383
00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:48,440
Right there, right there.

384
00:16:51,212 --> 00:16:52,815
Great. It's locked.

385
00:16:52,883 --> 00:16:53,884
No worries, homes.

386
00:16:53,951 --> 00:16:56,856
I got a friend inside.

387
00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:02,667
Ha, what up, homie?

388
00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:05,038
Yo, where do I plug this bad boy in?

389
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:06,608
Uh, you got me, homie.

390
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,578
Uh, w... oh.

391
00:17:08,646 --> 00:17:10,081
Don't panic. Okay.

392
00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:11,717
My brother Chet...

393
00:17:11,785 --> 00:17:12,619
was in the bomb squad over in Iraq.

394
00:17:12,687 --> 00:17:13,888
- Okay.
- And he said

395
00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:16,026
it's always the, um, the red one!

396
00:17:16,093 --> 00:17:17,462
Okay. All right, you got this.

397
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:18,865
Hey, hey. Wait for my cue, okay?

398
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:19,867
Yeah.

399
00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,739
Ooh, that's hot.

400
00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:24,977
What's a cue?

401
00:17:28,651 --> 00:17:30,988
We have a winner.

402
00:17:31,056 --> 00:17:32,625
The moment you all been waiting for.

403
00:17:32,693 --> 00:17:37,234
Mr. and miss Pinkerton 2011 are...

404
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:38,636
Who else?

405
00:17:38,704 --> 00:17:41,542
Max Owens and Robin Pretnar.

406
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,406
Students of Pinkerton.

407
00:17:57,474 --> 00:17:58,575
You mean those stupid,

408
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:01,113
easily manipulated puppets?

409
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:02,883
This school is full of pathetic losers.

410
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,552
Peasants.

411
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:05,621
All I have to do is smile and wave...

412
00:18:05,689 --> 00:18:07,392
and have Max on my arm.

413
00:18:07,459 --> 00:18:08,460
He might be dumber than the dialogue...

414
00:18:08,528 --> 00:18:10,197
<i>in the last airbender,</i>

415
00:18:10,265 --> 00:18:12,769
but he's pretty.

416
00:18:12,836 --> 00:18:14,438
We did it! We did it!

417
00:18:35,486 --> 00:18:37,632
Max, wait. I didn't mean it.

418
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,543
Say something!

419
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,287
Yeah, I'll say something.

420
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,734
Good-bye, Robin.

421
00:18:57,450 --> 00:19:00,568
Unfortunately,
in light of this revelation,

422
00:19:00,635 --> 00:19:03,283
and because we're going to
have a riot if I don't,

423
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,396
I declare Jenny Swanson
and RJ... Berger.

424
00:19:05,464 --> 00:19:08,442
the new Mr. and miss Pinkerton 2011

425
00:19:14,317 --> 00:19:15,455
We did it!

426
00:19:15,524 --> 00:19:17,736
We did it!

427
00:19:17,804 --> 00:19:19,211
Oh, this is awesome.

428
00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:20,921
Oh, my God, RJ, I can't believe we won!

429
00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:25,013
Go ahead and give Mr. Pinkerton a hug.

430
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,125
Oh, Mr. Pinkerton.

431
00:19:27,193 --> 00:19:28,768
Okay, now, that's enough. Okay.

432
00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:30,444
Berger.

433
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:32,356
Can I talk to you?

434
00:19:36,985 --> 00:19:39,766
I want to thank you...

435
00:19:39,835 --> 00:19:41,778
For keeping my secret.

436
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,254
Look, Max...

437
00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:45,232
You're not going to be able to
keep your secret forever.

438
00:19:45,301 --> 00:19:48,619
And you might want to choose
some better friends...

439
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:52,139
for when everyone gets
to meet the real you.

440
00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:55,157
You might be the better man, Berger.

441
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:57,337
That does not mean that you are not...

442
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,048
the better dead man.

443
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:02,065
Congrats, Mr. Pinkerton.

444
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,543
I expect nothing less.

445
00:20:06,928 --> 00:20:08,134
Yo, lily.

446
00:20:08,203 --> 00:20:09,509
Where you been?

447
00:20:09,578 --> 00:20:12,226
Babe, I've been worried.

448
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,411
I was at the hospital.

449
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,491
RJ, I'm...

450
00:20:17,558 --> 00:20:20,911
Pregnant.

451
00:20:20,979 --> 00:20:23,291
And it's yours.

452
00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,501
Hakuna matata, Berger.

453
00:20:30,569 --> 00:20:32,144
Looks like I ain't the only one...

454
00:20:32,212 --> 00:20:34,894
making your life a
living hell next year.

455
00:20:41,486 --> 00:20:43,488
<i>My name is RJ Berger,</i>

456
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:45,276
<i>and I'm going to be a dad.</i>

457
00:20:45,648 --> 00:20:49,308
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

