JANET: Can I get you some cream? KELLY: Yeah.
Ooh, here's a list of caterers.
Oh.
Oh, by the way, Noah's gonna be moving some of his stuff
into the beach apartment tomorrow.
- Is that okay? - Sure.
Yeah, it's no problem. Actually, most of my stuff is over here anyway.
It's, uh, just till we can find a place we can both afford.
Donna, it's okay.
How about calla lilies?
How can I think about flowers when I haven't set a wedding date?
Where's the calendar?
Well, I can't pick a date until I have a reception hall.
And to do that, I need to know the number of guests,
which is pretty hard to do
considering my parents won't return my phone calls.
Steve's mother is in London
and Rush in on a singles' cruise through the Panama Canal.
Men are so innocent when they're sleeping.
[JANET CHUCKLES]
- He's my angel. KELLY: Aw.
[GlRLS GlGGLE]
[POP MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]
DYLAN: Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, thank you.
DYLAN: Yo. Uh-huh. Yes.
The best--
- Bachelor party-- - Bachelor party--
- Ever. MATT: Yeah.
[ALL LAUGH]
JANET: I just need to relax.
You know, get out of the planning mode for a little while.
You know, the groom can help with some of the arrangements too.
Oh, yeah, and Steve is so detail-oriented.
- Heh, bye. - Bye, you guys. Thank you so much.
DONNA: Mm-hm.
Oh!
The best-- Bachelor--
Party.
DYLAN: Whoa. MATT: Whoa!
DAVlD: Yeah.
JANET [ECHOlNG]: Steve.
Steve, I have a question about the reception.
What do you think? Um, beer in bottles or glasses?
Well?
Well, I see you have camping and sports.
Why doesn't somebody teach those kids photography?
That was my dad's hobby.
We've had some interest. We just don't have a darkroom.
Humph, darkroom. Tsk.
One darkroom coming right up.
Wow. I come to recruit volunteers and I get a cheque.
Listen, don't let too many non-profits find out about you.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]
- Hi, honey-bunny. - Hey. Uh...
Gina, this is my friend Andrew Emery.
He runs the Beverly Glen Community Centre.
- Hi, how are you? - Good.
Here you go.
Wow.
Listen, we could really use your help with midnight basketball.
Trying to get all my donors involved in one way or another.
I don't know. I think this is about as, uh, hands-on as I get.
Listen, uh, Miguel and Arturo, those kids from the hotel,
- they still talk about you all the time. - Yeah, well, they fear me.
Take a day to consider.
- Nice meeting you. - Great to meet you.
All right, bye-bye.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
- Hey. Hi. - Hi.
I think you should do that.
- Really? - Mm-hm. Yeah.
Only one hard sell per morning. That's kind of my rule.
We could volunteer together.
- I didn't think you were the type. - I wanna do things.
- Couples do things together. - Well, I'll tell you what let's do.
You go downstairs and volunteer us a table.
I'm gonna return some phone calls.
And then I'll come down and we will have breakfast as a couple.
- Okay? - Okay.
All right.
- But you're gonna think about it, right? - Sure.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
[SlGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Your father is a pig.
Can I get some blueberry pancakes to go, please?
Good morning.
Apparently, Mel was at one of Gina's little feminist rallies at the After Dark,
Jackie found out, and I don't think he got a duffel bag out of the house.
Mel and Jackie break up and get back together all the time.
Not this time. She's completely humiliated. It's over.
Hey.
- Hey. - What's going on?
Well, my daddy looked at a naked girl
so Kelly's mommy kicked him out.
Oh. How did she find out about it?
I don't know, I didn't ask.
And Jackie has a little too much class to offer up.
I'm gonna go put my playlist together. See you guys later.
- Phew. - I'm just curious.
How much does it cost to break up a family? Forty, 50 bucks a lap dance?
Well, it really depends on the cup size.
No one forced Mel to come.
- Did you see him there? - No.
Oh, look. And by the way, I wasn't alone on my little business venture.
Why don't you scold someone else now?
So it's moving day.
I got some food for the, uh, troops. Steve and Matt are gonna help out.
- Shouldn't take long then, should it? - No, no, it shouldn't.
Look, I wanna treat for dinner tonight.
- Kind of a roommate-bonding thing. - I said blueberry.
Okay.
[SlGHS]
Life is just so full of disappointments, isn't it?
Please go to hell.
I did a good job painting the room, didn't l?
If I get the nursery done in two days
then we have the rest of the week for wedding details.
Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna get the rest of Noah's stuff
over to the beach apartment.
Green is the most restful colour. Did you know that?
Studies show that it's beneficial for teething babies
and it soothes stomach aches in the workplace.
Hey.
Hey, Janet, what's wrong?
I don't wanna be a lumbering bride.
Oh, come on. You are so beautiful.
When I thought about my wedding when I was a little girl,
it didn't include being pregnant.
No wonder people do these things one at a time.
Come on. Everything is going to be great, I promise.
How? When our nursery isn't finished yet,
we don't have a church and I have stovepipe legs and swollen hands?
Because I am madly in love with you.
And neither one of us have anything to be insecure about.
Thanks.
[JANET SNlFFS]
I think the green is working.
[STEVE CHUCKLES]
Good, good.
Hey, when you get back, let's set a date.
- Okay? - Deal.
Phew.
You know, the chef here cooked for me every night for two years.
The only good thing about breaking up was reclaiming my waistline.
Well, she obviously knows her way around a kitchen.
He, actually. Keith.
- Give my compliments to Chef Keith. - Okay.
Listen, Andrew, about, uh, you know, the centre and me volunteering.
I thought about that. It's just not me.
Aw, I can't say that's the answer I'd hope for.
Well, you know, I figure I'd contribute in the way I can best.
You know, I write cheques. Besides, you guys don't need me around there.
Well, someone has to be. I'm quitting at the end of the month.
This job keeps me in the closet. I can't do it anymore.
Well, coming out might be an option. Lot of people doing it.
Have you ever met my co-director at the centre, Patsy Regan?
- Yeah, she, uh, seems efficient. - And conservative.
Her son plays for the centre's basketball team
and I think she'd be upset
to learn that his coach is a real live homosexual.
Oh, come on, man. This is the '90s. You gotta be kidding me.
If you can teach the fundamentals of the game,
who cares whether you're gay or not?
Locker rooms, showers, young kids.
You're not jumping to any conclusions?
Because a lot of people would.
Yeah, well, I ain't one of them.
- All right? - Okay. All right.
[ANDREW CHUCKLES]
What's wrong, faggots? Couldn't find a room?
Now, you listen here, freak.
I'm gonna teach you guys a lesson about hanging out in parking lots.
[ALL GRUNTlNG]
Somebody call the cops!
You all right?
STEVE: Janet, I was thinking, how about December 4th? Holy mackerel.
It started to slant and I couldn't stop.
I'm like a ducky-boarder junkie.
Okay, uh, I'm cutting you off.
We're behind schedule, Steve.
This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life
and I can't do it all by myself.
I can tell you're miserable.
Those ducks aren't gonna flap up there by themselves, you know.
Okay, honey, you're really doing a great job,
but I think maybe I should take it from here, okay? Release.
I think we need a new approach.
Something radically different and I've got a great idea.
It involves our friends, so you're gonna have to trust me on this, okay?
Hmm? Huh?
Yes, thank you, detective.
The guy that I nabbed isn't gonna give up his buddies.
It would seem the cops need a statement from you.
Well, they can't have it.
Don't you think you have some kind of obligation to the gay community here?
Look, I was lucky to get in and out of the hospital quietly.
If I speak out, it opens a floodgate of media attention.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
Reporters, newspaper headlines.
"Gay community-centre director bashed.'
But here's what people say off-camera:
"Who let that pervert near our kids?"
Andrew, if you're silent,
this kind of thing could happen to someone else.
If you wanna take a stand,
make the statement for both of us.
Hi.
Oh, what happened to you? Are you okay?
Yeah, car wreck.
- Yeah, everyone's fine. - Oh, good.
Uh, could you give us just, um, a minute, Gina?
- Sure. - Oh, that's all right. I was just leaving.
- What happened to your arm? - Uh, nothing.
I, uh...
I got in a fight.
- Oh, who'd you punch this time? - I don't really wanna talk about it.
- Ahem. - Oh, okay.
- Listen, my mom called. - Hmm.
I guess there's some two-for-one special
going from L.A. to Denver.
You feel like taking a little trip?
Since when do you wanna spend time with Bobbie?
Yeah, I know. It's just that
she invited me.
Us, actually.
- You barely talk about her. - I'm sorry. Never mind, stupid idea.
Do you know my favourite colour, Dylan?
Or, um, I don't know, who my first boyfriend was?
- I know everything about you-- - I'm tired, Gina.
--because I ask. And then when you answer me,
I hang on your every word.
See, the difference between me and you
is that I'm in love with you, heh.
That's not fair.
No kidding.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
You guys are probably wondering why we called.
With no advanced notice.
You're all going on a scavenger hunt.
JANET: You are required to drive around, find certain items.
Maybe do something in a specific location.
Everyone's on a team.
Each team works together to figure out the clues.
Each clue leads to another clue, and the scavenger hunt
- leads to the party. - What party?
With all the craziness of planning for the baby and wedding,
we kind of forgot about the fun stuff.
Yeah, so we figured we'd pool all our showers
and bachelorette parties and bachelor parties together
and carouse with you guys.
Can't you just, you know, tell us where the clambake is? I mean--
No. But if you get lost, there will be an emergency phone number.
No cheating. And you are financially responsible
for your own traffic violations.
But remember, this is a race.
- What does the winner get? - Well, it's gonna be a surprise
but we think you're gonna love it. Are you guys ready?
Okay, Car 1, Donna and Matt. Car 2, David, Kelly and Noah.
- Perfect. STEVE: Car 3, Gina and Dylan.
Each box contains the first clue plus all the tools you'll need.
Ready, set, go.
Trust no one. Chuck the kit in the car. Run.
[STEVE LAUGHS]
"You could never duplicate the love Steve and Janet share,
though this establishment on Olympic and Doheny may try.'
There's a mall there.
Yeah, Kalee's Copy Mat.
- Duplicate the love-- - Dupli--
Map. All right, let's go.
[SlGHS]
Humph. Copy centre. What's up with that, huh? Heh.
What?
Okay, let's pretend like nothing is happening.
Kelly, I don't wanna get into it.
How many times do you think Mel has cheated on Jackie?
I don't know how many times. I have no idea.
David, you have sided with my mom every time.
- This is no different. - Yeah, it is different.
Last time he cheated, all right. He got a lap dance, big deal.
Oh, heh, that's so comforting.
[DAVlD SlGHS]
You know, your mom is the one who's breaking up the family, all right?
- Not Mel. - She is sick of it.
She is sick of him eyeing every salesgirl, every waitress that walks by.
Some of them were dancers, not prostitutes.
What exactly was the dancer-to-prostitute ratio?
Because knowing that would make me and my mom and my little sister
feel so much better.
Yeah.
Okay, "You could never duplicate the love Steve and Janet share,
though this establishment on Olympic and Doheny may try.'
Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Ah, a clue. Must be the right place.
"lf we had one of these, we could schedule our lives better.
Show off the gifts that God gave you by making a calendar.
One body part for each month.
Then ask the clerk for the next clue.'
"P.S. Extra points for photocopying your butt.'
My butt?
- Your butt, mister. Oh, no. - Your butt.
How do you go about making a calendar?
[MATT CHUCKLES]
[MATT GRUNTlNG]
- Ow! - Ah!
[GRUNTS]
Kel, um, can I ask you a question?
Does torturing him make you feel better?
A little, yeah.
You think you might wanna ease up a little?
NOAH: Hey, got a second?
I'll back the car out, point it towards the street.
Good man. Go!
You've gotta switch cars with me.
- Why? What's going on? - I don't know. Kelly's acting weird.
- Oh... - Just switch with me, okay?
Fine. Matt, come back.
This is just because David's a fast driver, okay?
You and Kelly are roommates for now so you gotta try and get along.
That's what I want. I wanna get along.
Fine. Ah.
[DONNA GRUNTS]
Look like you boys have some photocopying to do. Suckers.
NOAH: Matt, come on.
- Team change. DAVlD: Team change?
Why? Noah not having fun?
He gets car sick in the backseat or something.
- You guys wanna win, right? - Winning is our mantra.
- Win, win, win. Win. DONNA: All right, Clue 3.
"'Tis the season to be jolly, almost.
Visit the house that leads the neighbourhood in holiday spirit.'
Oh, isn't that freaky family on Column Street
that puts up their decorations in early November?
- Ha, ha, I think so. - I think so.
"Appropriate some decorating as your own,
knowing full well they will be returned at the end of the hunt.'
We have to steal someone's yule log?
No, it says in there we return it.
- Yeah, it's a loan. - Oh.
As long as it's not a nativity scene. Whatever. Back to the car, chop-chop.
Why don't you get a CD player in this thing?
I can never find a stupid radio station.
[STATlC PLAYlNG OVER RADlO]
We're looking for a copy centre.
[GlNA GASPS]
Oh, look at the little dog.
Look, pull over. We have to get him. He's crossing the street.
- Dylan, he's gonna get hit. - No. Hey, Gina.
- Dogs take walks all the time. - Dylan, pick him up.
- I'll call animal control. - No, you can't call.
Are you crazy? They'll put him to sleep.
Would you stop the car, please?
- For what? - Take him to the hotel and feed him.
No, no. We are not getting a dog.
Heh, heh. Yes, sir.
I guess that would actually be doing something together, wouldn't it?
- When this is over, we'll go home-- - What? We'll go home
and have sex and continue to ignore the distance between us.
Sounds amazing.
All right, Clue Number 3. You ready?
Number three, go ahead.
"Appropriate some decorating as your own, knowing full well
they'll be returned at the end of the hunt.'
Smells like a felony to me.
Oh, my God. Dude, have you looked in here?
Check her out.
[NOAH CHUCKLES]
Oh, God, suddenly stealing someone's personal property
seems rather tame.
[NOAH BLOWlNG]
- What are you doing? - What do you mean?
You know how long it takes to blow one of these things up?
Please. I'm just guessing it takes a while, okay?
Yeah.
Hello, officer.
How you doing?
Heh, this is just a-- Just a toy. Like a joke, you know?
We're just, uh-- Just riding around.
Uh, you probably want me to pull over, don't you?
[DAVlD GRUNTS]
All right, ladies, make it quick.
David?
What? What if something goes down?
We're gonna need a getaway driver, right?
Donna, you wanna keep our lead or not?
KELLY: Ah.
- May I help you, girls? DONNA: Um...
Hi. How you doing?
Uh, we're from the neighbourhood counsel for overdone decorating
and you're under investigation.
Yeah, we need to borrow some of your lights.
And a little bit of tinsel just for the counsel to look over.
- And approve. - Possibly award.
Don't BS me, young ladies. What is this all about?
[SlGHS]
We're on a scavenger hunt.
I met my husband on one of those.
- Oh. WOMAN: Ha-ha-ha.
- Are you winning? - Oh, we're killing them.
DONNA: Oh, no. - Don't just stand there.
- Are you guys having fun yet? DYLAN: Yeah, tons.
There was this little dog, he almost got hit by a car.
And he wouldn't even stop to help him.
Where was it?
Just right off of Wilshire, like, two blocks away.
Why don't you guys wait for us? We're gonna go check on something.
Tell you what. You go ahead, Donna and Kelly can ride with me.
KELLY: Are you sure? - Yeah.
Uh, what about Gina?
[DYLAN SlGHS]
All right, let's get the damn dog.
Gina, are we going?
You're all about winning, right?
Okay, "Take a load off at the mattress store on Maple.
Choose a favourite bed and photograph the relaxing moment
with your team and the store manager.
Think you can do this one in you sleep?
The enclosed prop must be in the photo too.'
- Oh, Dylan, I believe these are yours. - Uh, yeah, think again.
I think that store is on 3rd and Maple.
- The gas is the pedal to the right. - Hit it.
[CELL PHONE RlNGS]
- Yeah. - Hey, it's Andrew.
They caught the other guys.
They need you at a line-up tomorrow at 1 0 a.m.
You think you should be there to identify them
and point out what they did was wrong?
- Do you need the detective's number? - No, I got his card.
What's going on?
Why do you have a brace on your wrist?
Let's say I had a bad day yesterday
and I don't feel much like a scavenger hunt.
Yeah, we noticed.
And apparently, so did Gina, which is too bad
because if you try, it's more fun. Across the board.
Relationships too.
So now you two are concerned about Gina?
You can't spend an hour in a car, what are you doing together?
- Having fun. It's enough for me. - Dylan, you've been married before.
You know what it's like to be with the right person.
I'm surprised you'd settle for less.
GlNA: She almost got hit. DAVlD: There's a tag,
but there's no name or address or anything on it.
There's a licence number. That should help.
- We'll take care of her. Come on. - Yeah, okay. Bye. Bye.
- Come on, sweetie. - Bye-bye.
Whoa, whoa. Where are you going?
We have to make sure she's okay. We have to wait.
I can't believe she was running around like that all by herself, you know.
Dylan didn't even care.
I invited him home to meet my mom, he said no.
I'm sorry. That must have been really hard for you.
Yeah, it's not like I exactly jump at the chance
to show someone the shoebox I grew up in.
I'm sure it will all work out.
Thanks for helping me get the dog.
You didn't even care that she was a mess.
You know as well as I do,
you'd rather Dylan was here with you than me.
I wish he was more like you.
DONNA: Come on.
I am not ashamed.
Sorry, your flap was open.
Move, people, move!
Hi, can I help you?
I can tell you're a busy man so I'm just gonna get right to it.
What are the chances of you and me laying down on that bed?
- You and me, there? - Quickly, it's for a good cause.
- Yeah, it would mean so much. - He was neglected as a child.
Well, it's against company policy or--
Had to go to the neighbour's for a hug. It'd be a big breakthrough.
All right. If I do this, will you leave quietly and immediately?
KELLY: Promise. - Okay.
Uh, just don't mind her. Go ahead, jump. Good one.
DONNA: Where is the damn clue?
- Smile. DYLAN: Oh, yeah.
DONNA: Got it, I got it.
- Where you going? - l, uh...
- Relax. - Okay, "Make history.
This clue will lead you to the park where Janet, our little math maven,
circled the classified ad
that brought her to the Beverly Beat and Steve.'
What, you think only boys can do math?
[CELL PHONE RlNGS]
- Stop fighting. - Get off me.
- You know you gotta carry the two? - Hello.
- It's Noah. Is Donna there? KELLY: Where are you?
I'm at the Christmas house. We already had one run-in with the law.
We're about to have a second.
Wouldn't that be a third, including your little erotic-dancing bust?
- Can I talk to Donna? - No, she's busy.
Kel, give me the phone.
[DOOR OPENS]
Might as well give up. My girl Donna is gonna win.
Do you or Matt have that emergency number
- that Steve and Janet passed out? - Yeah.
Call them. Say you're a quitter and they'll tell you were to go, okay?
[DlAL TONE]
- Was that Noah? - Yes.
I did really well on my math SATs, l...
Heh, yeah, I'm very proud.
What's your problem with my boyfriend?
You really wanna know? I think he cuts corners to get what he wants.
Like running a strip joint for extra cash.
Fifteen thousand, four hundred eighty-eight.
Fifteen thousand, four hundred eighty-eight what?
DYLAN: Sunset Boulevard.
- Yeah, if you wanna go to the party. - Oh, you're good.
DYLAN: Yeah, I am. DONNA: Go.
Oh.
DAVlD: Is she okay?
VET: She's dehydrated and malnourished.
- She's been on her own for a while. - Well, I'm gonna take her home.
Actually she's been reported missing.
We ran the licence number on her collar.
Her name is Joan and her owner is on the way.
I thought you'd wanna say goodbye.
You're gonna return her to the people who let her run around in traffic?
That's not the way you treat something you love.
Who would name their dog Joan?
There's my number.
If they'd like to discuss her future, they can call me.
Come on, sweetie.
[DAVlD CHUCKLES]
Hey, how did you guys get here so fast?
MATT: Have I mentioned I don't even like crossword puzzles?
And that Christmas house lady?
- Very, very scary. - Oh.
NOAH: Turns out we couldn't find a clue
so I had to call Janet and Steve and beg them for mercy.
- That means... - Mm-hm.
- Yes! I'm the winner! KELLY: Ha, ha.
- Oh, I mean, we are victorious. - Thank you.
We're all the winners together.
Wait, how did all these decorations get here?
This the end of the road? Tell me this is the end of the road.
I don't know. Where's Janet and Steve?
- Uh, better yet, where's the dog? - Oh, she's in the car.
David said that she could stay at his house until I find a home.
- Really? You or the dog? DAVlD: Heh.
I don't know. We're both looking for something more permanent.
Hello, you guys, a clue right there.
Walked right by it.
[DONNA CHUCKLES]
Okay, "Established in 1 91 9,
this is one of the oldest parks in Los Angeles.
It served as a backdrop for many movie love scenes
and today, it unites two-and-a-half people for all time.'
- That's it? What's the question? - Two-and-a-half people? What's that?
["TH E WEDDlNG MARCH" PLAYlNG ON STEREO]
- Congratulations, you made it. MATT: Ha, ha.
We are gathered here in the presence of God
to witness the marriage of Steve and Janet.
Surprise.
We hope you guys don't feel tricked into coming.
Would you like to join hands?
I, Steve, take you, Janet...
- To be my wife. - To be my wife.
And I promise...
- Before God and these witnesses... - Before God and these witnesses...
Do you mind if I take it from here?
Janet, I swear in front of the people who mean the most to me
to love you for the rest of my life.
You have given me so much to be thankful for.
For you, for our family,
I will fill our lives with love and devotion.
And in these arms, you will always have shelter.
And in my heart, you will always have a home.
You have showed me the true meaning of partnership
and helped make me a better person.
Oh, my gosh. Me too. Ha, ha.
My life has changed so much since I've known you.
You make me laugh.
I love you. You make me so happy.
I take you as my husband
and I vow to honour our lives together,
our family, ha, ha, our friends,
our love.
[CHUCKLES]
Wedding rings are a visible sign of an invisible bond.
They have no beginning and no end.
- With this ring... - With this ring,
I make you my husband
and join my life with yours.
And with this ring, I do the same.
[CHUCKLES]
REVEREND: By the authority vested in me,
I now pronounce Steve and Janet husband and wife.
[ALL APPLAUDlNG]
I can't believe you guys pulled it off. It was very fun.
That park's been a landmark for 80 years.
- Something old. - Here, you should frame this.
- Oh, ha, ha. JANET: Heh.
Dylan McKay discovers his inner child.
I'd like to keep those pyjamas.
I, uh-- I think some people will find them sexy.
JANET: That mattress that you were lying on is something new.
It's gonna be delivered tomorrow.
Oh, great, thanks, Dylan. We didn't have time to comparison shop.
What happened to the blow-up doll? Never made it there.
Oh, that would've been great.
The, um, Christmas lights were something borrowed.
You know what? How'd you guys get the lights there before we got there?
How about a round of applause for our trusty friend and courier, Nat?
DAVlD: Nat's the man. - There you go.
And finally, something blue.
The Body Parts Calendar.
[ALL LAUGH]
And the undisputed champion, of course, is Donna Martin.
Yay! What do I get? What do I get?
- A gift certificate to the Peach Pit. - Wow, thank you.
Plus, you get to return Santa with all the lights.
DONNA: Bonus. - Little Santa Claus.
Yeah.
I cannot believe that you are married.
Um, nothing personal, but this guy is such a guy.
- And somehow you managed-- - Okay.
--to slide under his protective knucklehead radar
and into his heart, because he's crazy about you.
We all are.
To Janet and Steve.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
ALL: Cheers.
[ROMANTlC MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]
Come on.
The only thing that was missing was our parents.
Yeah, and the name-calling and the tears.
[STEVE SCOFFS]
- Hey, you're upset. - No, I'm happy.
And they will be too, someday.
You really know how to plan a wedding.
- You think so? - Mm-hm.
I know this isn't how you imagined it.
This gown, that cake...
Me, I always thought I'd be in a panic on my wedding day.
- How do you feel? - Never better.
- Here we go. - Oh, thank you.
- Kel, I'm sorry, did you want a drink? - I'll get you one.
- Heh. I'll help him. - Kel.
I'm sorry about your mom and Mel. I know you're upset with me
but as far as Mel goes, he had nothing at all to do with this whole thing.
He probably thinks it's not cheating.
Because while he's paying these women for his excitement,
it's just a job to them, right?
No one was victimized. They were there because they wanted to be.
Heh. You know, you have a very bright future in porn.
Kel, just hear him out, please.
Okay, for example, this one dancer named Trina,
she's got three little kids at home.
Dancing at night puts food on the table for them.
It also leaves her days free so she can take care of them.
Are you attempting to justify what you did?
No. But people make do. They make mistakes.
I want that.
- I'll get you some. - No, not the cake, silly.
The whole picture.
MATT: Mm? - Mm-hm.
- All right. - Where are you going?
I'm gonna coach Janet in the bouquet toss.
So when it flies, you dive, you push, you jump.
- Do whatever you gotta do, okay? - Okay. Mm-hm.
All right.
Um...
Excuse me.
She's a beautiful bride, isn't she?
Doesn't hold a candle to you on your wedding day.
- How you doing? - I'm fine.
Listen, I'm sorry about the dog,
and if you want me to meet your mom...
No, um...
I'm sorry.
I know I've made a lot of mistakes.
I never should have moved into the hotel.
If you just didn't push, Gina.
I didn't move in, you know, to leech off of you.
I just really wanted to be closer to you.
I just figured if we were ever gonna end up like Steve and Janet,
that maybe we should spend more time together.
I don't know that we are.
I just need to be straight with you about that.
You feel better now?
- Gina, hey-- - No, just stay away from me, Dylan.
DAVlD: Hey, I just checked on the dog.
You know we gotta give her back, right?
Yeah. Can you take me somewhere?
I don't think that would be a very good idea.
I can't go back to the party
- and I'm not gonna stay at the hotel. - I'll give you cash for a cab.
I don't want your money.
I don't wanna just be your friend.
Gina, I'm really glad I could be there for you today.
The truth is, I don't wanna hang out with you tonight
and get my hopes up again
just to see you go back with him tomorrow.
Thanks for setting up on such short notice.
I, uh-- I really appreciate it.
[STEVE CHUCKLES]
There you go.
STEVE: That scavenger hunt wasn't too easy.
Hey, you guys, Hector has the, uh, penthouse suite all ready to go.
Oh, well, thanks a lot, but we've made other plans.
- Say goodnight, Mrs. Sanders. - Good night, Mrs. Sanders.
[ALL LAUGH]
NAT: No, no, no. Thank you. - Right.
Okay, come on. Bye-bye, guys.
KELLY: Bye. MATT: Yeah.
DONNA: Perfect. KELLY: Yep.
Um, Matt is probably done dropping off Reverend Neal by now.
I'm gonna go back to the Walsh house. I'll see you at the store in the morning.
Uh, I thought you and Matt were gonna sleep at the beach apartment tonight.
I thought I would give you guys a little time to settle in.
- That was very nice of her. - It was.
I think she was surprised about your take on Trina.
BOTH: Hmm.
DONNA: Oh. Heh.
I stirred up a batch of my dairy-free eggnog. Ha, ha.
Well, it's never too early to get in the holiday spirit, I always say.
DONNA: Well, thank you. NOAH: Thank you.
Oh, on Christmas Eve,
I always put reindeer antlers on my cats.
[ALL LAUGH]
- Stop by if you're free. - Mm-hm.
Yeah, we will. Thank you.
NOAH: Mm.
That's really good.
You know, I was just thinking.
Maybe we could help her.
Trina, the dancer.
Trina doesn't actually exist.
Remember that movie Demi Moore did when she played a stripper?
- There's no Trina? - There's lots of Trinas out there.
Kelly wouldn't listen to me, so I told her about this woman.
Who you made up.
You asked me to patch things up with Kelly. That's what I'm doing.
Who's it hurting anyway?
To Steve and Janet.
I was glad you called because I was wondering,
what did you tell the people at the centre?
That I'd been in a fender-bender and I'd need a few days off.
Patsy, my co-director, came by the house.
My partner Myles answered the door
to our one-bedroom apartment, heh.
Yeah, well, the old "Heh, heh. He's just my roommate" thing didn't work, huh?
You know, when I said it was a car accident,
Patsy never even asked if it was my fault.
But when I said I'd been gay-bashed, she looked at me like I'd asked for it.
- Give her some time to adjust. - Oh, she suggested time as well.
I said I'd be back to work on Monday
but she urged me to take a few weeks minimum.
In fact, she insisted.
You knew that you'd have a fight on your hands.
I need some sleep, heh.
I gotta look for a job tomorrow, heh.
Well, listen, thanks.
Take it easy.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]
I was on my way to Matt's, and I realised
there were no pictures taken of me in my wedding gown.
Yeah, well, I never said I saw any pictures.
Yeah, you said you saw me in my wedding gown,
but you weren't there.
You wore a, uh, low-cut white thing.
It was... It was puffy.
That pretty much describes just about every bride.
[SlGHS]
Okay.
Uh, your hair was up. It was curly.
I always thought you should have left it down.
I can't believe you were there.
I flew in from Europe at the last minute.
I was coming up the path in the back of the church
and I saw you.
You left without saying hello to me or your friends?
Well, then it hit me.
I realised that you were gonna marry someone else
and, uh, I didn't wanna see that.
Weren't you on your way to Matt's?
Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up, huh?
Probably not.