[âª]
Logy, you say?
Yes, Millie seems extremely logy.
Mm-hmm, and how long would you say she's been like this?
About a week.
Has she ever been logy before?
Not that I recall.
Mm-hmm, and what exactly does "logy" mean?
Low energy.
Haven't you ever heard of "logy" before?
Is it an abbreviation or something?
Doesn't save much time.
Forget logy.
She's tired, okay?
All right, well, I'll get right on this.
I'll have her back to her zippy self in no time.
Hold on, not too zippy.
Millie's zip is a bit much for most people.
âª Hambone, hambone! âª
âª everybody loves a hambone! âª
No, they don't!
So, peppy?
Two notches below peppy.
"Ebullient..."
All right, I'll call Millie and get right on this.
Well, why don't you just talk to her now?
[Snoring]
Hmm. Well, that'll save me some minutes on my cell plan.
Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com
I gotta say, I've never seen you this low energy before.
I'm fine.
You're drooling on my desk.
Well, pardon me, your highness.
Maybe you should just put little stickers
on all the stuff you don't want me to drool on.
Let's just say everything is a no-drool thing.
So why do think you're so wogey?
Wogey?
Joyce's word.
Oh.
I don't know, I just feel a littleâ
flaaaah.
You know? If we're making up words?
A little "s plaaagh ."
Are you eating properly?
Sure.
I had three bowls of choco-pops for breakfast
and a whole box of toaster-tots with jam.
Well, those are fortified with riboflavins,
so they should...
How often do you exercise?
I can't exercise
when I feel this "t waaagalaaah."
Well, there's the problem.
You see, exercising gets the heart racing
and the blood pumping.
Exercise is energizing.
Oh, I don't know.
If that were true, I'd never be tired.
I own every piece of exercise equipment there is.
Where did you get all this stuff?
Infomercials mostly.
I got this one at a store.
It was called the "infomercial warehouse."
What time is it in Australia?
I'm not sure, but I think it's yesterday.
They were supposed to call me at 3:00 P.M. tomorrow,
which would be today, right?
I'm not good with geography.
Plus, I stopped listening.
Oh, Tallo #7.
This stuff's expensive.
If you say so.
Must be nice drifting through life
not caring how much anything costs.
Well, I don't know any other kind of life,
so I couldn't compare,
but, yeah, this is better.
Is that Tallo 10?
Seven.
Oh, squirt me.
You really should get 10.
It revitalizes collagen to retain elasticity
as well as giving you great UV protection.
Or even better,
the Medina compound cream,
it's a full body lotion with a super high aloe count.
Later, ladies.
Oh, now, that one is awesome.
It's called "the gutsploder."
It literally blasts your fat away.
Literally?
Check it out.
[Beeps on switch]
I don't hear anything.
That's because it's at such a high frequency
that humans can't hear it.
That's how you know it's working.
That science seems a little iffy.
[Hiccups]
Well, it's been documented...
[Grunting]: And tested...
by the medical...
community.
What's wrong?
You're convulsing.
That's because I'm wearing...
"The electrocizer."
[Grunts]
It makes your muscles contract
so you're working out without even trying.
[Electricity crackles]
Ah! Jeez...
This stuff is all junk.
Don't you have an actual gym in your building?
Ech! That dungeon?
It reeks
of sweaty old sweatsocks
and people's sweat, and corn.
Well then, you're going to have to invest
in some quality exercise equipment.
It is an investment that will pay dividends
that your body can then cash in the future...
At the bank of good health.
My point being,
these trinkets are not going to cut it.
Oh, be careful of that one.
It's a nipple pincher.
This is the third lunch in a row
that we've eaten in your office.
I know.
I've got a lot of work to do,
so if you want to meet with me, it's gotta be during lunch.
I'm just saying
that maybe it'd be nice to go out sometime.
Oh, crap.
No, don't rub it in, you'll just make it worse.
Here, you just... You wanna...
You wanna just... Just dab it.
And finally, my deterga-pen.
Your what?
Deterga-pen.
You can keep this one. I have others.
I don't doubt it.
You got some lipstick in your little purse there?
No, but I have some cherry lip balm if you...
Wait, what do you mean, purse?
Oh, you know what?
Forget I said anything.
Everything's fine.
Fine and dandy.
Oh, there it is.
Dandy?
Really?
I'm all man, lady.
Sure.
So, how's your salad?
It's very refreshing, thank you.
Someone's happy.
Why so smiley?
Oh, I was just able to turn Millie
completely around on something.
Like on a merry-go-round?
How does that help?
Not around like "round and round" around.
I convinced her to invest
in some quality exercise equipment.
She doesn't need to spend any money on equipment.
You can get a perfectly good workout
using just your body.
I think you're being a little naive.
I mean, I don't use any workout equipment,
and I'm in terrible shape, ipso ergo...
Could you pass the butter?
You can walk, jog, stretch,
do squats, push-ups, sit-ups, yoga.
I mean, that's all I do, and check out these pipes.
Uh-oh, gun show's in town.
That's right,
and you've got a backstage pass.
Well, this is terrific.
Do you think you could maybe
help set up a workout program
for Millie?
Hmm, I'd be happy to.
Terrific.
We'll have her up and humming like a well-oiled machine.
Still waiting on the butter.
Why is it that the cooler is always empty
whenever I want a drink?
Crystal, give me a hand here.
You can't be serious.
Oh, yeah, your condition?
That's right.
I have a bad back.
Whoa, whoa, ladies.
This looks like a job for a man.
You know any?
I know plenty, and you're looking at him,
so just back it up.
Give a guy some room here.
Okay, here we go.
Deep breath, andâ
how much do you think this thing weighs, roughly?
Can't be much, it's just water.
Look, you don't have to prove yourself.
We can get one of the boys in the office to do it.
No, no, no, no.
This boy is going to do it,
and not because you've insulted my masculinity,
because I can roll with that,
because I'm secure in my manliness.
Now...
Who's got a pair of gloves?
Oh, jeez.
Just cause it's wet, that's all.
Hey, Millie, great news.
I realized you don't need to buy any equipment.
You didn't realize it, I did.
Through a discussion with me.
The point isâ
hey, doc! Anna!
Check out my new epileptic machine.
It's elliptical, and wow!
Yeah.
I dropped a lot of cash, but you're right.
Five minutes on that thing,
and I'm sweating like a bag of cheese in the sun.
Well, this good, I guess.
No pain, no burn, as they say.
And I got my energy back!
Oh, and I can work...
While I'm working out!
Ooh, maybe best not to multi those two tasks.
Ooh, you should look at my new ball chair.
I can strengthen my core while I'm sitting at my desk.
Probably takes a bit of practice.
Well, I guess a few pieces of equipment
isn't a bad thing.
[Door buzzer rings]
Okay, this is a bad thing.
Could you hit three for me?
Oh! I got ya.
Oh, hey buddy, do me a favour
let me be your assistant,
or apprentice or whatever.
You want to help me?
No can do, pal. Local 591 frowns onâ
lighten up!
There's 20 in it for you if you play along.
Um, so, yeah,
what you got here is a busted elevator.
Oh, hey, Joyce.
Just workin' hard, helping out my pal...
Floyd.
Really?
Uh, yeah, I'm Floyd.
He's helping me out.
Hey there, helper-buddy,
how about getting me a Phillips?
Uh, screwdriver?
Yeah.
Here you go.
Handle first.
They can be dangerous.
You learn that the hard way
when you've been working with them enough.
It's not a Phillips.
Oh, yeah, sorry, it's a craftsman.
What brand were you looking for?
Forget it.
Keep your 20 bucks.
20 bucks?
I don't know what you're, uhâ
Oh, hey, here's a- a Stanley.
Will that work?
I'll leave you to it, butch.
Look, I don't want to be.
Mr. Johnny Judge-alot,
but this is a lot, don't you think?
Like, maybe too much even?
Well, why have one machine when you can have 11?
It's better.
11 times better, if I've done my math correctly.
But everything's all crammed in here.
How are you going to live?
Anna, tell her about the stretching
and squat-ups and everything.
This machine is incredible!
[Gasps]
Look, a spinning machine, too.
That isn't helping at all.
Look, pr...
Promise me you're not going to buy
any more workout equipment.
Okay? Promise.
All right, I promise.
[Door buzzer rings]
Oh, is a tanning bed considered workout equipment?
Hey!
I just got some good news.
Really?
At least I think it's good news.
The guy on the phone seemed really upbeat about it,
but it's hard to tell with his accent.
What accent?
He said, "tell Joyce Australia's a go."
Fantastic!
I have been waiting for this!
It is time to celebrate!
Let's have a drink.
I'm not drinking.
Oh, right, right, you're not drinking becauseâ
I'm on painkillers.
My back, remember?
Right...
How's it hangin'?
Pardon me?
Sorry, it's a guy greeting.
Quick question.
I play rugby.
That's not a question.
Here's a question, is that manly enough for you?
Okay, look,
you're a man, all right?
The manliest man in the history of all men.
Now are we done?
You're just trying to get rid of me.
That's right.
A real man would take the hint,
so if you'll excuse me,
I just got some fantastic news,
and I have some celebrating to do.
With a scotch and cigar?
It's how I always celebrate.
Sure, if your wife just had a baby.
Or if your horse won the Kentucky Derby.
See ya later, big fella.
Come on, push!
Harder!
Atta girl!
Nice one!
Good set, good set.
Phew!
Wow, you're pretty intense.
You know it's way more fun working out with someone else,
and safer, too.
If I was going to benchpress 800 pounds,
and it dropped on my throat,
you could pull it off me.
That would kill you whether I was here or not.
Oh, well, it's still much more fun.
Okay, let's toss the medicine ball around.
Coming at ya!
Ugh!
How much medicine is in that thing?
I should get going.
I can't feel my arms.
Do you have to go?
Working out alone is yawnsville.
I can come back later, okay?
Okay.
See ya!
Oh, hey, do you think you could lift 800 pounds?
Hey, Crystal.
This is a silly question, but, um,
you don't think I'm too...
Mannish?
That is the first thing you go to?
Well, the second.
You probably don't want to hear the first.
I am as lady-like as anyone.
Really?
Which one of us had to leave early on Friday
to catch an FUC fight?
It's UFC.
Hi, Joyce.
Uhuh, just reporting back, like you wanted.
Stan, when you look at me,
you're thinking, "all woman", right?
Um...
Millie has more energy now.
Oh, good, so everything's back to normal?
Yeah, as normal as things get with Millie.
You sound like you're hiding something.
Do I?
I give that impression sometimes, I think,
to be honest, I'm told.
That's something I need to work on,
on myself,
but one thing at a time, so I'm off.
Okay.
Okay, bye!
Okay, Joyce seemed pretty happy
that you were working out.
Also, I think she was hitting on me, so...
Explain.
Explain what?
It's more fun working out with other people,
so I invited one or two of the other tenants over,
and word got out somehow.
Somehow.
You probably put up a poster.
I did no such thing.
Are you tired of working out in a sweaty corn dungeon?
Well then, come to Millie's home gym!
Did you use your bullhorn?
I can't remember.
This doesn't sit right with me.
Why not?
You're always telling me
to expand my circle of friends
and work on my social skills.
[Smack]
Atta boy, Bobby!
Way to burn those glutes!
Nothing more social than a smack on the glutes.
Whoo!
Thanks, Barb! Hit the stair climber.
These people are taking advantage of your generousness.
Oh, I don't think so.
You got any more towels?
Fresh out of the dryer.
Good workout?
Blast your delts? Shred your pecs?
Strafe your jibs?
What's a jib?
I don't know, I'm new here.
[Smack]
Okay, whoa!
Hey, Joyce. Sorry I'm late.
I was sick this morning.
Must have been something I...
Good morning.
[Giggles]
You look so pretty.
So do you.
This is weird.
What's happening, ladies?
And this is weirder.
Crystal, I'm just test-driving a truck.
You wanna go for a spin?
On your way to Nascar, Buford?
You should talk.
Just come back from picking pansies, Daisy?
Speaking of pansies...
Crystal, did you know that Joyce is part man?
So is Taylor.
No need to argue.
You're both right.
Okay, so maybe there's some merit
to you improving your social what-have-yous,
but how are you going to live in here?
I mean, you can't...
You know, there's no room for you to...
You're gonna stub your toe, I guarantee that.
I'm gonna be fine.
I don't mind sharing my space with others.
Mi casa es suâ
hey, get the hell out of my fridge!
Who are all these people?
And why is there a waiting list for all the equipment?
Well, you shouldn't be on a waiting list.
You're a founding member.
This was your idea?
No!
What idea?
Don't worry about it.
I'll get you into a yoga class.
I've got a bit of pull around here.
Hey, Joe,
put Anna's name down for a class.
Sorry.
It's already booked up.
That's my book!
Crystal, can you cancel
my appointment with Joyce for next week?
I'm going hunting.
Oh, that's good,
'cause I was going to cancel anyway
and bake cookies.
I'd give you some, Taylor,
but they'd probably end up on your thighs.
You know she changed the transmission in her car?
I replaced the spark plugs, it's a small job,
and I don't think you could have handled it
with your delicate hands.
Cinderfella!
Fancy boy!
All right, enough!
You two are acting like idiots.
I have girlfriends who ride dirt bikes
and guy friends who wear eyeliner.
Stop trying to hide who you are.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I had some bad Sushi,
and I have to throw up again.
Nobody cares!
You know, opening up a gym in my home
has got to be the stupidest idea
you've ever had.
That I ever...
My idea was for you
to stop giving yourself shock therapy
with crappy TV gizmos.
At no point did I say open up a gym.
Well, you didn't tell me not to open up a gym.
I didn't tell you not to get a pet polar bear either.
Do not get a pet polar bear.
It doesn't matter whose fault it is.
The important thing is...
is that you found a solution.
Yes?
Hi, I'm Stan Dirko.
We've met once before.
I work with Millie Upton?
Your next door neighbourâ
Get to the point.
Hey...
Hey.
Crystal made some good points out there.
Yeah, I...
I think we were both being kind of silly.
Anyway, I felt bad,
so I went out and got you something.
That is very sweet.
I got something for you as well.
I had Crystal pick something up.
Typical male.
[Laughs]
Oh, it's a gift certificate to a spa.
And you got me a...
Oh, it's a 7-in-1 tool
so you can fix stuff.
Oh.
Huh...
Were you born in a laundromat?
[Clearing throat]
Oh, great.
Lewis.
Oh, great, Lewis!
Oh!
No!
It's Lewis,
our Condo Strata council guy is here to shut us down.
Well, go ahead, you heartless corporate
stick in the mud.
[Quietly]: No offense.
You nasty,
soul-sucking shrew!
[Quietly]: I really appreciate this.
Shut us down, you fun-sucking weasel!
Actually,
there's nothing in the Strata rules
about fitness equipment in your condo,
so...
Enjoy.
Oh... now what?
Just politely tell these people they have to leave,
I can't do that.
I'd be like the nerd at the house party.
They're my friends.
Hey, Mary, you're out of protein powder.
See?
That one almost knew my name, doc.
I can't do this.
We have to think of something else.
I'm going to hit the showers.
[Yelps]
Ah!
[Screaming]
[Gasping in fright]
Okay, that's it!
Everybody hit the bricks!
Take your hairy, freeloading glutes
out of my house!
And by the way, some of you smell like corn,
and you know who you are!!
So I guess you're off then?
Yeah, it's just...
You know, for a while.
Take a break, think about things,
maybe backpack through Europe.
It'll be good.
I know it will.
I bought you a gift.
[Chuckles in delight]
Tallo #10?
Thank you.
I didn't get you anything.
I bought myself something nice.
The receipt's on your desk.
You know, if you need anything,
anything at all, I'm here.
I know.
You're still gonna keep the equipment, right?
I can still come around and work out with you.
Damn straight.
I'm never gonna give this equipment up.
Come and spot me on the bench.
[Crunch, she yelps]
French frigate!
My toe!
I told her that would happen.
Get this stuff out of here!
[Millie reads]: " And when all the other Grumpaloos
"saw how many fun and fancy toys Missy Grumpaloo had,
"they suddenly wanted to be her friends.
"Missy let them play, because sharing is good,
"but soon, none of the Grumpaloos
"would share Missy's own toys with her.
"So she pelted them with stinky cobs of rotten corn
"until they ran away and left her alone.
"Because being a putz and a pushover
isn't really Missy's style."
Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com