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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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FRY: After centuries
as a delivery boy,
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00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,600
nothing surprises me.
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(horn honks)
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You stink, loser.
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Hey, Fry!
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Pizza going out!
Come on!
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Aw, all right.
I'll take the Red Rocket.
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(pedals squeaking)
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(horn honking)
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(frustrated grunt)
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Hello! Pizza delivery for...
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D. Frosted Wang?
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Ugh, not another crank delivery!
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Why don't I read these
ahead of time?
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(laughter)
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One time was funny.
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But every week for ten years?
Not as funny.
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True, not as funny.
But still somewhat funny.
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(burst out laughing)
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And-and then
they burst out laughing
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a second time.
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(laughing)
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(sighs)
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I've been a delivery boy
for a thousand years.
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Isn't there any room for
promotion around here?
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There'll be no promotions
unless somebody dies.
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And even then, only if we can't
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bring them back as
a zombie, like Scruffy.
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Life and death are
a seamless continuum.
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Mm-hmm.
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Well, could I at least
get some encouragement?
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I could use a shot in the arm.
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(screams)
I get shot in the leg!
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(panting)
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Roberto!
What are you doing here?
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What? A fella can't drop in
on old friends
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and hold them hostage?
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I'm good. And you?
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SMITTY: Attention, criminal robot
in the building!
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Come out with your hands up!
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Never!
SMITTY: Uh... other guy.
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Listen up, piggies,
I want a hovercopter,
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and an unmarked sandwich,
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and a new face with like
a, a Hugh Grant look.
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And every five minutes
I don't get it,
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someone's going to get
stabbed in the ass!
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ZOIDBERG:
He's bluffing. Ouch!
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He's not bluffing!
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You call for a chopper?
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Nah, I specifically said
hovercopter!
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One chopper, coming up.
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Hi-yah!
Ah!
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(crowd applauding)
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All right!
Way to go.
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(exclaiming with approval)
(slams door)
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You know, URL,
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sometimes it's almost
too much for me.
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You mean the respect we get?
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And the high level
of job satisfaction?
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There's that, but I'm
also talking about
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the non-stop promotions
and the free hot rod.
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(engine revving)
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Mm. I do love
a man in uniform.
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Ahem!
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I mean a uniform that
doesn't involve short pants.
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(sighs)
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I can see I have
no future here.
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My only option is
to resign with dignity.
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Here are my shorts.
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♪ ♪
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Hello. I'd like to enroll
in Police Academy.
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You think you can
just waltz in here
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with no pants and become a cop?
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That's the plan.
I like you, kid.
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I got no pants on, either.
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I can see that. You're
quite a bit taller than me.
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Welcome to Police Academy.
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Hi, I'm Fry.
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I'm a Sound Effects 5000.
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(siren noise)
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(machine gun firing,
explosion noises)
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(helicopter blades rotating)
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Weep, wop, beep!
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Wow. That would be impressive
if you were a human.
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Yeah.
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On your feet for
Chief O'Manahan.
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At ease, cadets.
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I'll make this short and sweet,
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'cause I'm PMSing
like a lumberjack.
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Police Academy
is not for everybody.
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You're gonna get
your boob scuffed.
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But if you've got
the vulva to stick it out,
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I'll be proud
to call you ladies policemen.
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Sir! Yes, ma'am!
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(engine starting)
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(engine roaring,
tires squealing)
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(woman screams, gunfire,
siren wailing)
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Yeah. That's great.
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Now, can you actually
turn on the ignition?
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I don't have any hands.
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(gunfire)
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(trigger clicking)
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(lightsaber humming)
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Well, it's that
time of the month.
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Graduation day.
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So grow a pair and put them
together for our new officers!
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(applause)
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(cheering)
Good job!
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Hooray for the pigs!
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Graduates, you are hereby
officially cops.
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Now move it along,
nothing to see here.
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(cheering)
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Hooray! Free sky sticks!
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Oh!
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Police brutality!
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(hawks and spits)
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Nice...
All right.
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Before we head out, I'll be
teaming up our new officers
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with their
ironically matched partners.
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Sound Effects 5000,
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you'll be with Cranski.
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(crowd cheering)
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Ow, my tinnitus!
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Fry, due to the unfortunate loss
of Officer Smith,
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you'll be riding with URL.
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And Smitty was just
a few days from retirement.
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Wh-What happened?
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He took a early
retirement. Damn.
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Let's get down to business.
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Aren't you going to say,
"Good news, everyone"?
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Oh, I just said that
for Fry's benefit.
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Made the poor fellow feel better
about his pointless job.
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As much as I miss him,
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he didn't really serve
much purpose around here.
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Though he did walk Zoidberg.
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(whines)
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In any case,
I've improved on Fry
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by sticking some wheels on
a board, so Leela and Bender
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can easily make the next
delivery without him.
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Me? So where we going?
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Pandora.
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That dangerous 3D planet?
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Can't we just send our avatars?
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No, it's cheaper
just to have you die.
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(tires screeching)
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Whoa. 15 miles over
the speed of light.
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That's a violation of the law
of Lorentz's invariants, baby.
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Light 'em up.
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(siren wails, engines rev)
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Look out for that
particular individual!
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An electric wall, eh?
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I can't see the harm
in peeing on that.
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(unzips)
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(electrical zap)
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Whoa! Where'd my man learn that?
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Sunny D commercial.
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Let's refract this sucker.
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(screams)
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(tires screeching)
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(six overlapping screams)
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(metal crunching)
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(groans)
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DNA and career chip, please.
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(scanner beeps)
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EARL:
Erwin Schrodinger, huh?
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What's in the box, Schrodinger?
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00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:47,420
Um... a cat, some poison,
and a cesium atom.
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The cat: is it
alive or dead?
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Alive or dead?
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Answer him, fool.
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It's a superposition
of both states
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until you open it and
collapse the wave function.
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Says you.
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(yowls)
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There's also
a lot of drugs in there.
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So... you're a robot?
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(sighs)
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(buzzing)
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You boys did good.
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Nailed a major violator
of the laws of physics.
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He's going down.
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Cat's gonna testify.
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Guys like this
really bust my uterus.
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You're both getting a promotion.
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Ever heard of the
Future Crimes Division?
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Tomorrow, I have.
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00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,920
LEELA:
Oops.
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I can't make out a thing.
192
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,500
Well, I guess you should
have had two eyes.
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Just deliver the package,
and let's get out of here.
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Screw that! I ain't
no delivery boy.
195
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I'm the company chef.
196
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Oh, you're the chef, are you?
197
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,470
Then why don't you make us
something nice to eat?
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00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,840
(grumbling)
199
00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:19,580
Here's your damn peanut butter
and jelly sandwich!
200
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:28,430
LAB TECHNICIAN: Now that we can predict
crimes with 99% accuracy,
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00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,760
we can arrest most perpetrators
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before they even
perpetrate anything.
203
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:32,830
That's ridiculous.
204
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,930
Only horoscopes
can predict the future.
205
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,500
That's what we used to think.
206
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,870
Until we invented... this.
207
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,780
Ooh.
208
00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:47,350
Slow down, baby.
209
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,920
The Cybernetic Oracle.
210
00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,980
The ultimate man-machine hybrid.
211
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:53,390
Programmed with
every crime ever recorded,
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00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:54,850
and implanted
with the brain cells
213
00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,660
of history's
greatest detectives.
214
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,690
We call him...
Pickles.
215
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:01,230
On account of it's like
he's floating in a jar?
216
00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:02,800
Exactly.
217
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,730
The Oracle's visions are
recorded on these colored balls.
218
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:08,400
Green is larceny.
Black is fraud.
219
00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:10,470
Red: homicide.
220
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,870
What's pink polka-dots?
Clown slaughter.
221
00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,870
It happens more often
than you'd think.
222
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,640
(alarm sounds)
223
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,840
Floater in the bowl!
224
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,840
Red ball. Homicide!
225
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,310
Whoo!
226
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:23,810
(beeps)
227
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,650
Suspect: male, six foot one.
228
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,620
Distinctive mustard stain
on his forehead.
229
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,350
My kajigger!
230
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:33,760
Victim: Hattie McDoogal.
231
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,300
Look, the clock says 5:08.
232
00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:41,970
It's 4:30 right now.
233
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,470
Uh-oh, we only have
a half hour to chill out
234
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,570
before we head over.
235
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,310
(parakeets chirping)
236
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,910
(kissing sounds)
237
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,640
Oh, Hattie.
238
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,840
When I look into
your one good eye,
239
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,650
I see a reflection of beauty.
240
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,820
Oh! Fresh.
241
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:57,820
(door bursts open)
242
00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,520
Freeze, fool.
243
00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,220
You're under arrest
for future murder!
244
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:04,420
Yeah? You can't arrest
me for future murder...
245
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,360
after it's right now murder!
246
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:07,630
My kajigger!
247
00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,560
(birds twittering,
glass shatters)
248
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,300
(screaming)
249
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,530
(thud)
250
00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:16,900
So he didn't really
want to marry me?
251
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:19,370
Nah. See, he knew
you left everything
252
00:11:19,410 --> 00:11:21,410
to your parakeets in your will.
253
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,280
He was going to murder you,
marry your parakeets,
254
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,980
and then poison them with
an arsenic-laced cuttlebone.
255
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,680
Classic move.
256
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,520
Aw, yeah.
257
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,320
(cigar puffing, hacking sounds)
258
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,250
Congratulations
on your big bust.
259
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,690
You, too.
260
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,720
Keep it up, and you boys
might just make detective.
261
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,260
Now, if you'll excuse me,
262
00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,930
I got to go drop a big one.
263
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,560
Wow. I can't
believe it.
264
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,500
One more promotion,
and I'll be a real detective,
265
00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,740
like Sherlock Holmes
or Speed Buggy.
266
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:50,940
(baby fussing)
267
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:52,340
Eight pounds.
268
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,540
I'm naming her Burt.
269
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:54,940
Mazel tov, Chief.
270
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,380
That's a beautiful
bathroom baby.
271
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,810
Hey, you heading home, Phil?
272
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,320
In a minute.
273
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:04,680
I just want to finish
this paperless work.
274
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,390
Don't stay up too late.
275
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:09,960
We got a lot of people
to shoot tomorrow.
276
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,430
(alarm blaring)
277
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,730
Hello! Anyone?
278
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,030
(groans) There's never a cop
around when you need one.
279
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,000
COMPUTER:
Green ball. Larceny.
280
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,340
(explosion booming)
281
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,540
(growling)
282
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:31,810
(fires)
283
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,710
Hmm.
284
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:36,280
The thief seems to be
some sort of ghost.
285
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,290
Or is he?
286
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:42,690
Aah! Bender?
287
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,060
(maniacal laughter)
288
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,370
Item seven: Our
corporate tax rate
289
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,800
remained unchanged
this fiscal year.
290
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,170
That's not funny.
291
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,410
It's not supposed to be funny.
292
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,810
It's a business meeting.
293
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,940
Things used to be funny
around here.
294
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,380
Noses were picked,
pants fell down.
295
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:04,910
So what changed?
296
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,120
Only Fry could say,
and he's gone.
297
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:09,650
AMY:
Hey.
298
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:10,950
Bender and Leela are back
from Pandora.
299
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,350
How was it?
300
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,820
Awful.
301
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,720
We had nothing to
say to each other,
302
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,330
so we had to listen to Bender's
Eagles album for 27 hours.
303
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,730
Beats talking to you,
witchy woman.
304
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,730
BENDER:
Hey, he's back!
305
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,300
Look at you.
Hubba hubba.
306
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:27,030
Your pants go almost all the way
to your ankles.
307
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,740
Good afternoon, individuals.
308
00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:30,670
Sir, would you mind
stepping out of the building?
309
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,440
Normally, when a cop
asks me that,
310
00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:35,180
I spray whip cream
in his eyes and run away,
311
00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:37,710
but to ditch
these losers, gladly.
312
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,850
Bender, be honest with me.
313
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,380
Are you planning a big heist?
314
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,250
Usually, but not at the moment.
315
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,190
I only ask
'cause the Oracle thinks
316
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:49,430
you're going to pull off
a major theft next Thursday.
317
00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:50,930
Next Thursday, you say?
318
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,760
Pray, continue.
319
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,970
Are you familiar with
this particular location?
320
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,670
I may have a burgling
familiarity with it.
321
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:01,670
Does the word "Maltese"
mean anything to you?
322
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,770
The Maltese Liquor--
the strongest,
323
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,340
the most valuable malt liquor
ever brewed!
324
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:09,050
And soon it will be mine.
325
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,380
(chuckling)
326
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,080
I'm sorry.
You were saying?
327
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,680
Bender, I'm only
telling you this
328
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,420
so you can avoid
committing the crime.
329
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,760
"Avoid committing
the crime." Got it.
330
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:21,890
You wrote "commit the crime"!
331
00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:30,000
Oh, there's got to be some way
to stop Bender.
332
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,700
Maybe something
in the Oracle's predictions
333
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,970
that I missed before
due to incompetence.
334
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,740
(fires)
335
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,740
Wait.
Who's the trigger-happy jerk?
336
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,150
(gasps) That's me!
337
00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:45,720
I recognize the face.
338
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,420
(fires)
339
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:49,990
You shot me!
340
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,160
You miserable dingus!
(Groans)
341
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:55,090
No! No!
What have I will have done?
342
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,800
Man, that's heavy.
Osmium heavy.
343
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,800
Wha...? Are you going to turn me
in for concealing evidence?
344
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,000
Say what?
345
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,200
You're my partner, home Fry.
346
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,870
Besides, I got my own secrets.
347
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:08,410
Anything big worth checking out?
348
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,040
Just your big
jangly booty, baby.
349
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,310
See you tonight, toots.
350
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,050
(clanging)
351
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,250
(door opens)
352
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,780
You... and the chief?
353
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,780
Mm-hmm. We been gettin' it on.
354
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,820
Right there in your chair.
355
00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,790
I'm like, "Oh,
baby! Oh, baby!"
356
00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:30,460
And she's like,
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."
357
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,360
(fires, Bender groans)
358
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,370
I would never shoot Bender.
Never!
359
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,300
He taught me how to shave.
360
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:41,370
(alarm blaring)
361
00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:43,070
Revision ball.
362
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,070
By deciding not
to shoot Bender,
363
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,280
you created an
alternate future.
364
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:50,010
I could never
shoot you. Never!
365
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,380
You taught me how to shave.
366
00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:52,810
See?
367
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,350
Just get out of here.
368
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,990
Go!
369
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,860
Now, dig the unintended
consequences.
370
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:02,330
My friends, let us
share this booze
371
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,390
in a toast to our
dear friend, Bender.
372
00:16:05,430 --> 00:16:07,800
(all gagging)
373
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,970
Oops.
374
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,740
The Maltese Liquor
done destroyed their brains.
375
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,770
Fools should have
known it's fatal
376
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,840
for anyone but robots
and Billy Dee Williams.
377
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:28,020
So, if I don't shoot Bender,
all my other friends will die?
378
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,820
Fate is a freaky mistress.
379
00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,280
Much like the chief.
380
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,690
Look out!
381
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,990
Something's not right.
382
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,320
I refuse to believe it.
383
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,020
Rewind.
384
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,130
(crickets chirping)
385
00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,230
(doorbell chimes)
386
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,100
Ooh.
387
00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:49,270
Are you the calloused
working man I ordered?
388
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,110
Uh, sure.
389
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,780
In order to fix
your leaky roof,
390
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,480
I'll need to spend
two or three hours
391
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:57,040
down here in the wine cellar.
392
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,150
I'll be upstairs
putting batteries in things.
393
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:04,150
Whoa!
394
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,050
The Maltese Liquor.
395
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,020
40 ounces of heaven!
396
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,860
(growling)
397
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,430
Here, boy.
398
00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,230
This is for you.
399
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:17,930
Ah.
400
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,900
Hmm.
401
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:27,980
Invisible safe, eh?
402
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,080
(chuckling)
403
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:31,380
Aah!
404
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:34,380
(small explosion, door creaks)
405
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,380
Ah, yeah, baby!
406
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,450
210 proof.
407
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,720
FRY: That's all
the proof I need.
408
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,060
Put the bottle back.
409
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,690
We both know I won't do that.
410
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,190
Either you're going
to shoot me,
411
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:48,230
or I'm going to spray
whip cream in your eyes
412
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,100
and walk out of here
like a big shot.
413
00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,160
Bender, no!
You don't have to do something
414
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,770
just 'cause it's going
to happen.
415
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,140
The future's making a chump
out of you.
416
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:59,210
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to
make a chump out of the future.
417
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,070
I'm not stealing anything!
418
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,840
Yes! I stopped the crime
without shooting you.
419
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,380
The Oracle was wrong.
420
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,450
PICKLES:
Was I?
421
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,650
Pickles?
Yes.
422
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,950
It is I, Pickles.
423
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:13,650
I set the whole thing up.
424
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,390
Everyone will think
Bender's the thief
425
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,360
while I make off
with that glorious brew.
426
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,190
Seriously? Why?
427
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:22,960
So I can kill
my human brain cells.
428
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,100
Do you have any idea
what a burden it is
429
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,430
to know everything
that will ever happen?
430
00:18:27,470 --> 00:18:29,170
To never be surprised.
431
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,100
To know the punch line
of every joke hours in advance.
432
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,270
Like watching Leno.
433
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:36,110
And that is why I faked
434
00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:38,080
the prediction of this crime.
435
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,180
Nevertheless--
stay with me here--
436
00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:44,050
things will now happen
just as I fake predicted.
437
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,420
Bender, you're going
to hand me that bottle.
438
00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:49,090
Not that one!
439
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,860
The real one,
which you switched
440
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:52,790
when Fry stupidly looked away.
441
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:53,890
Hey.
442
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,100
Ah, man.
443
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,430
Why you got to be
so Oracle-y?
444
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,300
Fry, you are going
to shoot Bender,
445
00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,700
killing him and shattering
the fake bottle,
446
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,240
just as I predicted.
447
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,670
Do it!
448
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:06,940
It is your destiny!
449
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,180
Funny thing about destiny.
450
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:11,380
Sometimes fate has other plans.
451
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:13,310
(fires, bullet ricochets)
452
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,880
Oh, nuts.
453
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,090
You shot me!
454
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,160
You miserable dingus!
(Groans)
455
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:22,360
And now the part
I didn't show you.
456
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,800
(gun fires, Fry groans)
457
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,660
Everyone will think
Bender killed you,
458
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,400
and I walk away
with the goofy juice!
459
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:34,010
(brain sparks and shrivels)
(sighing)
460
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,810
Finally, blissful ignorance.
461
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,410
I have no idea
what's going to happen next.
462
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,450
FRY: Did you get that, Chief?
Huh?
463
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,680
We got it all from behind
this prediction-proof glass.
464
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,150
But how could you know
my prediction was fake?
465
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:53,360
I knew something was wrong,
466
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:55,160
but I couldn't put
my finger on it.
467
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:57,160
Then it hit me.
(beeps)
468
00:19:57,190 --> 00:19:58,790
You showed Bender
469
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,700
sharing the deadly booze
with our friends.
470
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,030
Bender would never share.
471
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,370
The very idea!
472
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,900
So we set up
this little charade
473
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,970
based on an episode
of Speed Buggy.
474
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,310
With the added benefit
of me and the chief
475
00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,910
being locked in a small room.
476
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:17,380
(moans and kisses)
477
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:20,450
Shall we adjourn
to the dungeon?
478
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,860
Well, I got my shield
for stopping Bender.
479
00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,930
(cheering)
480
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,360
But then I got fired
for tipping off Bender.
481
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,170
(cheering)
482
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,730
Fry, we have no idea
what you do around here,
483
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:38,870
but we desperately
need you back.
484
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,810
Really? Um, I don't suppose
there's any chance
485
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,440
I could get a promotion.
486
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:44,840
Sure. What the heck?
487
00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:50,430
I hear by promotion,
executive delivery boy.
488
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,730
Executive?
489
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,420
It's a meaning less title.
490
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,370
But it helps insecure people
feel better about themselves.
491
00:20:57,730 --> 00:20:59,820
I feel better about myself!