1 00:00:02,410 --> 00:00:04,360 ♪ Two... two, three... ♪ 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,660 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:16,190 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 4 00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:20,800 After centuries as a delivery boy, 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,600 nothing surprises me. 6 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,900 You stink, loser. 7 00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:30,300 Hey, Fry! 8 00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:32,710 Pizza going out! Come on! 9 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:36,050 Aw, all right. I'll take the Red Rocket. 10 00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:49,830 Hello! Pizza delivery for... 11 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:52,500 D. Frosted Wang? 12 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,670 Ugh, not another crank delivery! 13 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,500 Why don't I read these ahead of time? 14 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,340 One time was funny. 15 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,640 But every week for ten years? Not as funny. 16 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,980 True, not as funny. But still somewhat funny. 17 00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:10,720 And-and then they burst out laughing 18 00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:11,950 a second time. 19 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,960 I've been a delivery boy for a thousand years. 20 00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,430 Isn't there any room for promotion around here? 21 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:24,030 There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. 22 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,500 And even then, only if we can't 23 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:28,300 bring them back as a zombie, like Scruffy. 24 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:29,900 Life and death are a seamless continuum. 25 00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:31,470 Mm-hmm. 26 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,840 Well, could I at least get some encouragement? 27 00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,570 I could use a shot in the arm. 28 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:38,040 I get shot in the leg! 29 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:42,350 Roberto! What are you doing here? 30 00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:44,720 What? A fella can't drop in on old friends 31 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:46,590 and hold them hostage? 32 00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:48,450 I'm good. And you? 33 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:51,460 Attention, criminal robot in the building! 34 00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,060 Come out with your hands up! 35 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,730 - Never! - Uh... other guy. 36 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,600 Listen up, piggies, I want a hovercopter, 37 00:01:58,630 --> 00:02:00,400 and an unmarked sandwich, 38 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:03,670 and a new face with like a, a Hugh Grant look. 39 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,930 And every five minutes I don't get it, 40 00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:08,600 someone's going to get stabbed in the ass! 41 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,510 He's bluffing. Ouch! 42 00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:11,770 He's not bluffing! 43 00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:14,910 You call for a chopper? 44 00:02:14,950 --> 00:02:18,310 Nah, I specifically said hovercopter! 45 00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:19,820 One chopper, coming up. 46 00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:21,780 Hi-yah! Ah! 47 00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:24,020 All right! Way to go. 48 00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:30,760 You know, URL, 49 00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:32,960 sometimes it's almost too much for me. 50 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,630 You mean the respect we get? 51 00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:37,570 And the high level of job satisfaction? 52 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,300 There's that, but I'm also talking about 53 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,640 the non-stop promotions and the free hot rod. 54 00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:48,340 Mm. I do love a man in uniform. 55 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:50,440 Ahem! 56 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,010 I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants. 57 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,450 I can see I have no future here. 58 00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:59,320 My only option is to resign with dignity. 59 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,960 Here are my shorts. 60 00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:06,830 ♪ ♪ 61 00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:11,570 Hello. I'd like to enroll in Police Academy. 62 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,570 You think you can just waltz in here 63 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:14,970 with no pants and become a cop? 64 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,600 That's the plan. I like you, kid. 65 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,370 I got no pants on, either. 66 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,610 I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me. 67 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,940 Welcome to Police Academy. 68 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,410 Hi, I'm Fry. 69 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,410 I'm a Sound Effects 5000. 70 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,520 Weep, wop, beep! 71 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:35,550 Wow. That would be impressive if you were a human. 72 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,660 Yeah. 73 00:03:37,690 --> 00:03:38,960 On your feet for Chief O'Manahan. 74 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:40,360 At ease, cadets. 75 00:03:40,390 --> 00:03:41,760 I'll make this short and sweet, 76 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,530 'cause I'm PMSing like a lumberjack. 77 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,570 Police Academy is not for everybody. 78 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,630 You're gonna get your boob scuffed. 79 00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:49,840 But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, 80 00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:52,640 I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen. 81 00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:53,970 Sir! Yes, ma'am! 82 00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,220 Yeah. That's great. 83 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,250 Now, can you actually turn on the ignition? 84 00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,550 I don't have any hands. 85 00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:28,470 Well, it's that time of the month. 86 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,480 Graduation day. 87 00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:33,810 So grow a pair and put them together for our new officers! 88 00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:37,280 Good job! 89 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,980 Hooray for the pigs! 90 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,890 Graduates, you are hereby officially cops. 91 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,020 Now move it along, nothing to see here. 92 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:51,330 Hooray! Free sky sticks! 93 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,530 Oh! 94 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:54,570 Police brutality! 95 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,290 Nice... All right. 96 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,920 Before we head out, I'll be teaming up our new officers 97 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,760 with their ironically matched partners. 98 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:10,290 Sound Effects 5000, 99 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:11,560 you'll be with Cranski. 100 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,730 Ow, my tinnitus! 101 00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:18,170 Fry, due to the unfortunate loss of Officer Smith, 102 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,740 you'll be riding with URL. 103 00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:23,210 And Smitty was just a few days from retirement. 104 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,570 Wh-What happened? 105 00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:27,610 He took a early retirement. Damn. 106 00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,350 Let's get down to business. 107 00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:35,420 Aren't you going to say, "Good news, everyone"? 108 00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:38,290 Oh, I just said that for Fry's benefit. 109 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,690 Made the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job. 110 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,360 As much as I miss him, 111 00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:45,360 he didn't really serve much purpose around here. 112 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,900 Though he did walk Zoidberg. 113 00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:51,570 In any case, I've improved on Fry 114 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,870 by sticking some wheels on a board, so Leela and Bender 115 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:57,940 can easily make the next delivery without him. 116 00:05:57,980 --> 00:05:59,680 Me? So where we going? 117 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:01,710 Pandora. 118 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,550 That dangerous 3D planet? 119 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,310 Can't we just send our avatars? 120 00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:08,250 No, it's cheaper just to have you die. 121 00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:18,300 Whoa. 15 miles over the speed of light. 122 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:21,770 That's a violation of the law of Lorentz's invariants, baby. 123 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,170 Light 'em up. 124 00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:46,960 Look out for that particular individual! 125 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,700 An electric wall, eh? 126 00:06:50,730 --> 00:06:52,630 I can't see the harm in peeing on that. 127 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,510 Whoa! Where'd my man learn that? 128 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,680 Sunny D commercial. 129 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:15,760 Let's refract this sucker. 130 00:07:35,910 --> 00:07:37,710 DNA and career chip, please. 131 00:07:39,610 --> 00:07:41,450 Erwin Schrodinger, huh? 132 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,580 What's in the box, Schrodinger? 133 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:47,420 Um... a cat, some poison, and a cesium atom. 134 00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:49,220 is it alive or dead? 135 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,420 Alive or dead? 136 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:51,920 Answer him, fool. 137 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,590 It's a superposition of both states 138 00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:56,860 until you open it and collapse the wave function. 139 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,600 Says you. 140 00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:04,470 There's also a lot of drugs in there. 141 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:16,920 So... you're a robot? 142 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,230 You boys did good. 143 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,500 Nailed a major violator of the laws of physics. 144 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:31,230 He's going down. 145 00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:32,800 Cat's gonna testify. 146 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,370 Guys like this really bust my uterus. 147 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,910 You're both getting a promotion. 148 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:38,940 Ever heard of the Future Crimes Division? 149 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,580 Tomorrow, I have. 150 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,920 Oops. 151 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,790 I can't make out a thing. 152 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:59,500 Well, I guess you should have had two eyes. 153 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:02,260 Just deliver the package, and let's get out of here. 154 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,870 Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy. 155 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,500 I'm the company chef. 156 00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,870 Oh, you're the chef, are you? 157 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,470 Then why don't you make us something nice to eat? 158 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:19,580 Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich! 159 00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:28,430 Now that we can predict crimes with 99% accuracy, 160 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,760 we can arrest most perpetrators 161 00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:31,600 before they even perpetrate anything. 162 00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:32,830 That's ridiculous. 163 00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,930 Only horoscopes can predict the future. 164 00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,500 That's what we used to think. 165 00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,870 Until we invented... this. 166 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,780 Ooh. 167 00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:47,350 Slow down, baby. 168 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,920 The Cybernetic Oracle. 169 00:09:48,950 --> 00:09:50,980 The ultimate man-machine hybrid. 170 00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:53,390 Programmed with every crime ever recorded, 171 00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:54,850 and implanted with the brain cells 172 00:09:54,890 --> 00:09:56,660 of history's greatest detectives. 173 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,690 We call him... Pickles. 174 00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:01,230 On account of it's like he's floating in a jar? 175 00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:02,800 Exactly. 176 00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:05,730 The Oracle's visions are recorded on these colored balls. 177 00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:08,400 Green is larceny. Black is fraud. 178 00:10:08,430 --> 00:10:10,470 homicide. 179 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,870 What's pink polka-dots? Clown slaughter. 180 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,870 It happens more often than you'd think. 181 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,840 Floater in the bowl! 182 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,840 Red ball. Homicide! 183 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,310 Whoo! 184 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,650 male, six foot one. 185 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,620 Distinctive mustard stain on his forehead. 186 00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,350 My kajigger! 187 00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:33,760 Hattie McDoogal. 188 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,300 Look, the clock says 5:08. 189 00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:41,970 It's 4:30 right now. 190 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,470 Uh-oh, we only have a half hour to chill out 191 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,570 before we head over. 192 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,640 Oh, Hattie. 193 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,840 When I look into your one good eye, 194 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,650 I see a reflection of beauty. 195 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,820 Oh! Fresh. 196 00:10:57,850 --> 00:10:59,520 Freeze, fool. 197 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,220 You're under arrest for future murder! 198 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:04,420 Yeah? You can't arrest me for future murder... 199 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:06,360 after it's right now murder! 200 00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:07,630 My kajigger! 201 00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:16,900 So he didn't really want to marry me? 202 00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:19,370 Nah. See, he knew you left everything 203 00:11:19,410 --> 00:11:21,410 to your parakeets in your will. 204 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,280 He was going to murder you, marry your parakeets, 205 00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,980 and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone. 206 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,680 Classic move. 207 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,520 Aw, yeah. 208 00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,250 Congratulations on your big bust. 209 00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,690 You, too. 210 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,720 Keep it up, and you boys might just make detective. 211 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,260 Now, if you'll excuse me, 212 00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,930 I got to go drop a big one. 213 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,560 Wow. I can't believe it. 214 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,500 One more promotion, and I'll be a real detective, 215 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,740 like Sherlock Holmes or Speed Buggy. 216 00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:52,340 Eight pounds. 217 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,540 I'm naming her Burt. 218 00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:54,940 Mazel tov, Chief. 219 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,380 That's a beautiful bathroom baby. 220 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,810 Hey, you heading home, Phil? 221 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:03,320 In a minute. 222 00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:04,680 I just want to finish this paperless work. 223 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,390 Don't stay up too late. 224 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:09,960 We got a lot of people to shoot tomorrow. 225 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,730 Hello! Anyone? 226 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,030 There's never a cop around when you need one. 227 00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,000 Green ball. Larceny. 228 00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,710 Hmm. 229 00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:36,280 The thief seems to be some sort of ghost. 230 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,290 Or is he? 231 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:42,690 Aah! Bender? 232 00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,370 Our corporate tax rate 233 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,800 remained unchanged this fiscal year. 234 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,170 That's not funny. 235 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,410 It's not supposed to be funny. 236 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,810 It's a business meeting. 237 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,940 Things used to be funny around here. 238 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,380 Noses were picked, pants fell down. 239 00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:04,910 So what changed? 240 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,120 Only Fry could say, and he's gone. 241 00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:09,650 Hey. 242 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:10,950 Bender and Leela are back from Pandora. 243 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,350 How was it? 244 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,820 Awful. 245 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,720 We had nothing to say to each other, 246 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,330 so we had to listen to Bender's Eagles album for 27 hours. 247 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,730 Beats talking to you, witchy woman. 248 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,730 Hey, he's back! 249 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,300 Look at you. Hubba hubba. 250 00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:27,030 Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles. 251 00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,740 Good afternoon, individuals. 252 00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:30,670 Sir, would you mind stepping out of the building? 253 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,440 Normally, when a cop asks me that, 254 00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:35,180 I spray whip cream in his eyes and run away, 255 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:37,710 but to ditch these losers, gladly. 256 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,850 Bender, be honest with me. 257 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,380 Are you planning a big heist? 258 00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,250 Usually, but not at the moment. 259 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,190 I only ask 'cause the Oracle thinks 260 00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:49,430 you're going to pull off a major theft next Thursday. 261 00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:50,930 Next Thursday, you say? 262 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,760 Pray, continue. 263 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,970 Are you familiar with this particular location? 264 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,670 I may have a burgling familiarity with it. 265 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:01,670 Does the word "Maltese" mean anything to you? 266 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,770 The Maltese Liquor-- the strongest, 267 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,340 the most valuable malt liquor ever brewed! 268 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:09,050 And soon it will be mine. 269 00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,080 I'm sorry. You were saying? 270 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,680 Bender, I'm only telling you this 271 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,420 so you can avoid committing the crime. 272 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,760 "Avoid committing the crime." Got it. 273 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:21,890 You wrote "commit the crime"! 274 00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:30,000 Oh, there's got to be some way to stop Bender. 275 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,700 Maybe something in the Oracle's predictions 276 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,970 that I missed before due to incompetence. 277 00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,740 Wait. Who's the trigger-happy jerk? 278 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,150 That's me! 279 00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:45,720 I recognize the face. 280 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:49,990 You shot me! 281 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,160 You miserable dingus! 282 00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:55,090 No! No! What have I will have done? 283 00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,800 Man, that's heavy. Osmium heavy. 284 00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,800 Wha...? Are you going to turn me in for concealing evidence? 285 00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,000 Say what? 286 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,200 You're my partner, home Fry. 287 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,870 Besides, I got my own secrets. 288 00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:08,410 Anything big worth checking out? 289 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,040 Just your big jangly booty, baby. 290 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,310 See you tonight, toots. 291 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,780 You... and the chief? 292 00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,780 Mm-hmm. We been gettin' it on. 293 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,820 Right there in your chair. 294 00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,790 I'm like, "Oh, baby! Oh, baby!" 295 00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:30,460 And she's like, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." 296 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,370 I would never shoot Bender. Never! 297 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,300 He taught me how to shave. 298 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:43,070 Revision ball. 299 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,070 By deciding not to shoot Bender, 300 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,280 you created an alternate future. 301 00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:50,010 I could never shoot you. Never! 302 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,380 You taught me how to shave. 303 00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:52,810 See? 304 00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,350 Just get out of here. 305 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,990 Go! 306 00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,860 Now, dig the unintended consequences. 307 00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:02,330 My friends, let us share this booze 308 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,390 in a toast to our dear friend, Bender. 309 00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,970 Oops. 310 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,740 The Maltese Liquor done destroyed their brains. 311 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,770 Fools should have known it's fatal 312 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,840 for anyone but robots and Billy Dee Williams. 313 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:28,020 So, if I don't shoot Bender, all my other friends will die? 314 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:29,820 Fate is a freaky mistress. 315 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,280 Much like the chief. 316 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:32,690 Look out! 317 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,990 Something's not right. 318 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:35,320 I refuse to believe it. 319 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,020 Rewind. 320 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,100 Ooh. 321 00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:49,270 Are you the calloused working man I ordered? 322 00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,110 Uh, sure. 323 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,780 In order to fix your leaky roof, 324 00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,480 I'll need to spend two or three hours 325 00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:57,040 down here in the wine cellar. 326 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,150 I'll be upstairs putting batteries in things. 327 00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:04,150 Whoa! 328 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,050 The Maltese Liquor. 329 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,020 40 ounces of heaven! 330 00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,430 Here, boy. 331 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,230 This is for you. 332 00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:17,930 Ah. 333 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,900 Hmm. 334 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:27,980 Invisible safe, eh? 335 00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:31,380 Aah! 336 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,380 Ah, yeah, baby! 337 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,450 210 proof. 338 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,720 That's all the proof I need. 339 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,060 Put the bottle back. 340 00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,690 We both know I won't do that. 341 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,190 Either you're going to shoot me, 342 00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:48,230 or I'm going to spray whip cream in your eyes 343 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,100 and walk out of here like a big shot. 344 00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,160 Bender, no! You don't have to do something 345 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,770 just 'cause it's going to happen. 346 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,140 The future's making a chump out of you. 347 00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:59,210 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to make a chump out of the future. 348 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,070 I'm not stealing anything! 349 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,840 Yes! I stopped the crime without shooting you. 350 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,380 The Oracle was wrong. 351 00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,450 Was I? 352 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,650 Pickles? Yes. 353 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,950 It is I, Pickles. 354 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:13,650 I set the whole thing up. 355 00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,390 Everyone will think Bender's the thief 356 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,360 while I make off with that glorious brew. 357 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,190 Seriously? Why? 358 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:22,960 So I can kill my human brain cells. 359 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,100 Do you have any idea what a burden it is 360 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,430 to know everything that will ever happen? 361 00:18:27,470 --> 00:18:29,170 To never be surprised. 362 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,100 To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance. 363 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,270 Like watching Leno. 364 00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:36,110 And that is why I faked 365 00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:38,080 the prediction of this crime. 366 00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,180 Nevertheless-- stay with me here-- 367 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:44,050 things will now happen just as I fake predicted. 368 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,420 Bender, you're going to hand me that bottle. 369 00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:49,090 Not that one! 370 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,860 The real one, which you switched 371 00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:52,790 when Fry stupidly looked away. 372 00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:53,890 Hey. 373 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,100 Ah, man. 374 00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,430 Why you got to be so Oracle-y? 375 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,300 Fry, you are going to shoot Bender, 376 00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:02,700 killing him and shattering the fake bottle, 377 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,240 just as I predicted. 378 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:05,670 Do it! 379 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:06,940 It is your destiny! 380 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,180 Funny thing about destiny. 381 00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:11,380 Sometimes fate has other plans. 382 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,880 Oh, nuts. 383 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,090 You shot me! 384 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,160 You miserable dingus! 385 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:22,360 And now the part I didn't show you. 386 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,660 Everyone will think Bender killed you, 387 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,400 and I walk away with the goofy juice! 388 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,810 Finally, blissful ignorance. 389 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,410 I have no idea what's going to happen next. 390 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,450 Did you get that, Chief? Huh? 391 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,680 We got it all from behind this prediction-proof glass. 392 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,150 But how could you know my prediction was fake? 393 00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:53,360 I knew something was wrong, 394 00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:55,160 but I couldn't put my finger on it. 395 00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:57,160 Then it hit me. 396 00:19:57,190 --> 00:19:58,790 You showed Bender 397 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,700 sharing the deadly booze with our friends. 398 00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,030 Bender would never share. 399 00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,370 The very idea! 400 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,900 So we set up this little charade 401 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,970 based on an episode of Speed Buggy. 402 00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,310 With the added benefit of me and the chief 403 00:20:12,340 --> 00:20:14,910 being locked in a small room. 404 00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:20,450 Shall we adjourn to the dungeon? 405 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,860 Well, I got my shield for stopping Bender. 406 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,360 But then I got fired for tipping off Bender. 407 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,730 Fry, we have no idea what you do around here, 408 00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:38,870 but we desperately need you back. 409 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,810 Really? Um, I don't suppose there's any chance 410 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,440 I could get a promotion. 411 00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:44,840 Sure. What the heck? 412 00:20:45,390 --> 00:20:50,430 I hear by promotion, executive delivery boy. 413 00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,730 Executive? 414 00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:53,420 It's a meaning less title. 415 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,370 But it helps insecure people feel better about themselves. 416 00:20:57,730 --> 00:20:59,820 I feel better about myself!