1
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Previously on <i>Awkward...</i>

2
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But you should know,
I didn't try to kill myself.

3
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"Jenna, as you are now,

4
00:00:07,673 --> 00:00:10,941
you could disappear, and
no one would notice. A friend."

5
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Guys like Matty
don't go for girls like us.

6
00:00:21,053 --> 00:00:25,549
For 2.8 weeks, Matty
couldn't keep his hands off me.

7
00:00:27,373 --> 00:00:29,160
He was on a Jenna bender.

8
00:00:29,513 --> 00:00:31,741
And aside from the fact that
my vag-a-matic

9
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,593
was suffering some serious road burn,

10
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I was high on life.

11
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I was living those
magical high school moments

12
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I'd only seen in movies,

13
00:00:39,705 --> 00:00:42,984
and like most leading ladies,
I wanted more.

14
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Not more boning.

15
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I wasn't starting a lifelong
battle with sex addiction.

16
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I just wanted more...
Intimacy.

17
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Like the kind I had
with Brian Palermo

18
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:55,263
when we played doctor as kids.

19
00:00:55,429 --> 00:00:56,597
Ah, there's a cramp.
I got to--

20
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Sorry.

21
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Seven years later,
I was playing for real

22
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,502
with a guy I knew nothing about.

23
00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:05,573
Oh. Can you move?
My head's in the oven.

24
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- Yeah.
- My casual suicide reference

25
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could have killed the moment,

26
00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,244
but luckily Matty was preoccupied.

27
00:01:10,369 --> 00:01:11,905
Oh, God.

28
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,715
Oh, uh, should I wait?

29
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It was time to get to know Matty.

30
00:01:15,741 --> 00:01:16,718
Oh.

31
00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:18,319
And I had approximately ten seconds.

32
00:01:18,444 --> 00:01:19,687
If you could live
anywhere in the world,

33
00:01:19,812 --> 00:01:21,415
- where would it be?
- Uh, I don't know.

34
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How old were you
when you lost your virginity?

35
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,392
'Bout 15.

36
00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:25,693
Okay, so if you were on death row,

37
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what would you want
as your last meal?

38
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- Oh, benihana's.
- Are you close to your mom?

39
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- Okay, no more questions.
- Okay.

40
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Awesome!

41
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Wow.

42
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Oh, hey.

43
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I used to collect these little dudes.

44
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Turns out we had a lot in common.

45
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Keep it.

46
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So after bonding over sex

47
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and our shared love of reptiles
trained in martial arts

48
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specializing in sabotage,

49
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I couldn't help but wonder

50
00:01:56,849 --> 00:01:59,369
if this made Matty and I a "We,"

51
00:01:59,535 --> 00:02:01,696
and were we going
about this backwards?

52
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First the sex, then the relationship?

53
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:07,034
Or were we just more interesting?

54
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Do we have any plans--

55
00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:11,205
do you. Do you have
any plans this weekend?

56
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,208
I'll, uh, probably swing by
Lissa's party Friday.

57
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Oh.

58
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,311
I should have gone with the "We."

59
00:02:17,436 --> 00:02:19,046
You know, power of suggestion.

60
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You should come.

61
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Okay, so I guess "we" weren't
the type who kissed good-bye.

62
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Or maybe we were.

63
00:02:47,332 --> 00:02:48,910
If you're not busy tonight,

64
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Ricky Schwartz is having peeps
over for strip jenga.

65
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Um, Matty invited me to a party.

66
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Get out of the city!

67
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Matty's actual words,
"You should come."

68
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Does that count as an invite?

69
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He parked his pink Cadillac
down your side street.

70
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Of course it counts.

71
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He's taking you public,
outing you as a couple.

72
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:08,963
Tamara thought
Matty and I were a "We."

73
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So it's a date?

74
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Dates are so old testament.

75
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You just show up at the party.

76
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And bring me.

77
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Well, too bad it's being thrown

78
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by queen of the virgin parade.

79
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Join the abstinence club.
Before it's too late.

80
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Tia.

81
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It means this is awkward.

82
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Abstinence isn't easy,
and neither are you.

83
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Guess you can't be in that club.

84
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,320
But you can still go to her party.

85
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It's penciled in.

86
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Keeping Matty and I's
relationship off the grid

87
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seems to be working for us.

88
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Hey, stop.

89
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Don't touch me there.

90
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That, sir, is my no-no square.

91
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Girlfriend's on the hymen squad.

92
00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:52,106
Yeah. Lissa's given me
so many rub and tugs,

93
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I got no skin left down there.

94
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I blame God.

95
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,577
You know what really sucks, man?

96
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,312
It's our three-month
anniversary tonight,

97
00:03:58,437 --> 00:03:59,647
so I'm probably due another handie.

98
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,482
- Or Lissa's case, a sandie.
- Huh?

99
00:04:01,607 --> 00:04:04,085
Handie so rough, it's like sandpaper.

100
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:05,419
We have to go to Lissa's.

101
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This is my opportunity to skip nine,

102
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,423
maybe ten rungs on the social ladder.

103
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It's probably gonna be a big party,

104
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and no one'll
even notice we're there.

105
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Doesn't matter.

106
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,547
A person's popularity
is directly related

107
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to the number of red cup pics
they have posted online.

108
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Photoshopping my way to the a-list

109
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was a big fail Mary.

110
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To simulate gange smoke,
I lit a fire in my trash can,

111
00:04:23,462 --> 00:04:24,872
and my hair caught on fire.

112
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Luckily, I was wearing
my Jessica Simps' bump-up pony,

113
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so I just ripped that [Bleep] Out.

114
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S-t-o-p.

115
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Keep your thing away from me.

116
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Where's your purity ring?
Hanging from your nipple?

117
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I'm just using the gifts God gave me.

118
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,355
I hope you're using the party
planning gifts he gave you,

119
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because I will not be associated

120
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with some lame-ass shindy.

121
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Especially when tonight's the night

122
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I'm hooking up with Matty.

123
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,876
My party is going
to rock your face off.

124
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And it's perfect timing.

125
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It's mine and Jake's
three-month anniversary.

126
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You know what that means, right?

127
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:02,927
It's our paper anniversary?

128
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,388
More like a latex anniversary.

129
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'Cause it's the deadline for sex.

130
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If you don't do him, you'll lose him.

131
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,485
Oh, and do not heat up the hot tub.

132
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I can't have it going down with Matty

133
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in some nasty cesspool.

134
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,698
Maybe we should go tonight.

135
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,701
I was having
some serious party jitters.

136
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My outfit said yes, but my gut
said stay the hell home.

137
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:33,608
Maybe it was a sign that Matty
needed room to miss me.

138
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:36,544
I just decided we're not going.

139
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,667
If we don't go,
then the terrorists win.

140
00:05:38,792 --> 00:05:40,693
And by "terrorists" I mean Sadie.

141
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,724
I can't believe you never
showed this to me.

142
00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:44,302
Bitch definitely wrote the letter.

143
00:05:44,668 --> 00:05:45,686
Why would she bother?

144
00:05:45,811 --> 00:05:47,154
One, she hates you,

145
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,857
two, she sexted your billabongs
to the tri-school area,

146
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,559
and, three,
she has a thing for Matty,

147
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,194
and probably suspects you do too.

148
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:54,762
You cannot show fear.

149
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,263
You have to show her
you don't give a crap.

150
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:58,199
Or I don't go,
and I don't show anything.

151
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,267
Laundry.

152
00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:04,104
Um, are you wearing eyeliner?

153
00:06:04,229 --> 00:06:05,439
What's happening here?

154
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,074
She got invited to an in-crowd party,

155
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:08,709
but she doesn't want to go.

156
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:12,479
Oh, you're going, and I know
exactly what you could wear.

157
00:06:12,604 --> 00:06:14,849
Nothing in your closet.
Be right back.

158
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,493
What if you invited Matty to
a party and he didn't show up?

159
00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:18,652
How would you feel?

160
00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:20,154
Well, I'd be bummed.

161
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,756
Guys have feelings too.
They're sensitive.

162
00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:24,458
Especially if they're circumcised.

163
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:25,826
Matty junior wear a helmet?

164
00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:29,163
- How would I know?
- Oh, you'd know.

165
00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,698
No.

166
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,717
Okay, well,
I don't want Matty to feel bad,

167
00:06:32,883 --> 00:06:34,902
so, I don't know,
should I ask him to walk me in,

168
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:36,470
or does that make me
seem like a pussy?

169
00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,305
No, you and Matty have a thing.

170
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:39,974
I didn't know what kind of thing,

171
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:43,143
but I was hoping the party
would clear that up.

172
00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:44,745
No.

173
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:46,689
Okay.

174
00:06:46,905 --> 00:06:49,750
Big ups on the content, but
I'm not sold on the sign off.

175
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:52,620
Yeah. I tried an exclaim,
but it made me seem too excited,

176
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,288
and now I'm worried
the dot dot dot is too whorey.

177
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:57,358
Agreed. The ellipses
are the sluts of punctuation.

178
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:59,593
Go with a dash.

179
00:06:59,718 --> 00:07:01,929
No.

180
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:05,733
I don't really remember
a whole hell of a lot

181
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,901
from that night.

182
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,303
Keep in mind,
it was my very first party,

183
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,306
and I was <i>wasted.</i>

184
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,576
And I was alone
with maybe seven guys,

185
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,178
and they were wasted...

186
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,381
Okay. If you're about to get
nostalgic over your first orgy,

187
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,583
I really don't want to hear about it.

188
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,552
Surprisingly, no.

189
00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:28,314
But I never did find out
what happened to my panties.

190
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,624
Okay, um...

191
00:07:30,749 --> 00:07:32,293
He hasn't texted me back.

192
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,728
How do I know if he's inside?
Or should I wait out here?

193
00:07:34,853 --> 00:07:36,530
- Who are we talking about?
- Matty McKibben.

194
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:39,233
Are you and Matty together?

195
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:42,369
Apparently this was a burning
question on everyone's mind.

196
00:07:42,494 --> 00:07:44,238
If only I could answer it.

197
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,507
Can we go around the block again?

198
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:50,010
No more laps.
Mm-mm.

199
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:51,745
The beer is for the kids.

200
00:07:51,870 --> 00:07:53,614
Finnish vodka is for Lissa's mom.

201
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:55,115
She is a big boozer,

202
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,469
and no doubt drank every
ounce of hooch in that house.

203
00:07:58,635 --> 00:08:00,988
All right, girls.
What is the golden rule?

204
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:03,357
Beer before liquor,
never sicker.

205
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:05,592
Liquor before beer, in the clear.

206
00:08:05,717 --> 00:08:08,262
Yay!
Have a good night.

207
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:11,298
Mwah.

208
00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:12,499
Promise me if it's weird at all

209
00:08:12,624 --> 00:08:13,867
that we will just leave, okay?

210
00:08:13,992 --> 00:08:15,536
Like you said,
no one'll even notice us.

211
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,937
It sounds like a rager.

212
00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:19,006
There's probably
five million people in here.

213
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:23,077
That's true, I guess.

214
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:26,213
Hi.

215
00:08:26,338 --> 00:08:27,915
Or we just crashed a get-together.

216
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,940
Tia.

217
00:08:36,608 --> 00:08:39,594
Uh, the Finnish vodka's for your mom,

218
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,457
and the beer is...
That's for us.

219
00:08:43,582 --> 00:08:45,592
Oh, my mom'll be so stoked.

220
00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:48,353
Her bathroom mini fridge
is totally empty.

221
00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,633
Who... the fuck...

222
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,782
invited... you?

223
00:08:54,311 --> 00:08:55,568
I did.

224
00:08:57,097 --> 00:08:58,752
Matty and I were a "we."

225
00:09:01,612 --> 00:09:03,334
Better hide the knives.

226
00:09:04,571 --> 00:09:05,920
Say "Sadie!"

227
00:09:06,211 --> 00:09:08,256
Get out of my face, wannabe.

228
00:09:09,106 --> 00:09:13,387
Lissa, I told you to lock up
that stupid mutt!

229
00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:15,522
Sprinkles, be quiet!

230
00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:18,132
So there we were, out in public,

231
00:09:18,298 --> 00:09:20,969
for the whole...
Small group of people to see.

232
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,004
I wondered how he'd introduce me.

233
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,606
Hey.

234
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:28,309
As his girlfriend,
his date, his <i>lover...</i>

235
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,195
Drinks and stuff are over here.

236
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,072
I would have settled for "Jenna."

237
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,240
Well, you know everybody.

238
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,704
Hey, McKibben.

239
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,649
I know almost no one.

240
00:09:42,774 --> 00:09:44,551
- What do we do now?
- Blend in.

241
00:09:44,676 --> 00:09:45,986
There's nothing to blend into.

242
00:09:46,111 --> 00:09:47,588
Matty invited you here.

243
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,590
It's your turn to make the next move.

244
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:53,793
But first, pretend
like you're cross-faded.

245
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,972
Cigarette butts.

246
00:10:05,796 --> 00:10:08,399
- How's it going?
- Good.

247
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,360
Yeah, good.

248
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,403
Pretty good.

249
00:10:14,139 --> 00:10:15,531
Okay, actually, it's kind of weird.

250
00:10:15,697 --> 00:10:17,479
- Oh, it's way weird.
- Yes.

251
00:10:17,604 --> 00:10:18,936
Listen, I really didn't know

252
00:10:19,061 --> 00:10:20,420
this was gonna be a kickback.

253
00:10:20,545 --> 00:10:21,922
- I figured.
- Yeah.

254
00:10:22,047 --> 00:10:24,707
Oh, let me ask you something.

255
00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:26,894
What's the benefit
to having a smaller party

256
00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:29,260
versus a, um, standard rager?

257
00:10:29,385 --> 00:10:31,381
Well, no one's gonna call the cops,

258
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,841
and their house won't get trashed.

259
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:37,871
And there's a lot more booze
to go around, so...

260
00:10:37,996 --> 00:10:41,475
It's really nice
to see you out, Jenna.

261
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,394
Is this your first party
since the accident?

262
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,363
Everybody smize.

263
00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:48,940
Smile with your eyes.

264
00:10:49,555 --> 00:10:50,557
If our body language

265
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:53,121
was analyzed by the experts
at <i>Us Weekly,</i>

266
00:10:53,246 --> 00:10:55,613
they would have said
we were on the outs.

267
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,025
Matty, I need your help with the keg.

268
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,960
Right.
Uh, talk later?

269
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,903
Hey, did you get lowlights?

270
00:11:05,028 --> 00:11:06,207
And highlights.

271
00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:09,094
Then I got completely
neck-2-t lasered.

272
00:11:09,219 --> 00:11:10,304
Did it hurt?

273
00:11:10,429 --> 00:11:11,754
I didn't even feel it.

274
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,307
Then again, I always take, like,

275
00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:14,299
three zannies.

276
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,629
Oh, my God.
Is that safe?

277
00:11:15,754 --> 00:11:17,397
They're driving zannies.

278
00:11:17,522 --> 00:11:19,267
Cups up, ladies.

279
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:22,916
By the way, I'm Tamara.

280
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:26,260
It's spelled "tam-ara,"
but it's pronounced "ta-mara."

281
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,388
Like, if your birth control fails,

282
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:31,516
you better plan "b" it "ta-mara."

283
00:11:36,687 --> 00:11:39,780
Wow. I've never actually
seen a girl eat

284
00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:40,972
at one of these kickbacks.

285
00:11:41,097 --> 00:11:43,411
You look like you're having
about as much fun as I am.

286
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,939
I'm a little stressed.
It's my anniversary.

287
00:11:46,064 --> 00:11:48,082
Well, it makes sense.
A year's a long time.

288
00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:50,993
It's only been three months.

289
00:11:58,042 --> 00:11:59,418
Wha--

290
00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:07,101
Liss.
People are watching.

291
00:12:07,619 --> 00:12:09,645
- What people?
- Okay.

292
00:12:12,623 --> 00:12:14,267
Where have you been?

293
00:12:14,392 --> 00:12:15,936
I had to take a leak.

294
00:12:16,061 --> 00:12:17,404
Oh.
Well, come check this out.

295
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,739
Lissa's dad got an electric eel,

296
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,775
and when you tap the glass,
it gets super pissed,

297
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,701
and shocks the crap
out of the angel fish.

298
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:26,847
Sadie, let's just talk
about it a little later, okay?

299
00:12:26,972 --> 00:12:28,337
All right.

300
00:12:33,444 --> 00:12:35,122
Don't even talk to me

301
00:12:35,247 --> 00:12:39,384
until you kick that slut-hole
out of your party.

302
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,727
Why?

303
00:12:40,852 --> 00:12:42,863
Did Matty just blow you off?

304
00:12:42,988 --> 00:12:44,364
No, I asked him to get me a beer.

305
00:12:44,489 --> 00:12:46,099
What is your problem, drunk fu?

306
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,135
You were right about Jake.

307
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,312
He is pulling away.
I have to step it up.

308
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,607
But I can't have sex-sex,

309
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:57,527
so what can I do
without breaking my vow?

310
00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,247
Well, there is a loophole.

311
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,349
Really?

312
00:13:02,474 --> 00:13:06,160
God has a blind spot.

313
00:13:06,344 --> 00:13:08,621
- Hi.
- Hi.

314
00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:14,161
So I was thinking,
you remember the other day

315
00:13:14,286 --> 00:13:16,396
when we were at your house,
and we were talking--

316
00:13:16,521 --> 00:13:18,932
What's going on, man?

317
00:13:19,057 --> 00:13:21,717
So there we were, not speaking.

318
00:13:22,272 --> 00:13:24,676
I desperately wanted him
to say something.

319
00:13:24,801 --> 00:13:25,572
Anything.

320
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:27,574
Even though I was stuck on mute.

321
00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:30,811
24 hours ago,
Matty was taking my temp

322
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,094
with his all-beef thermometer,

323
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,480
and now he couldn't even ask me

324
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,749
how much foam I wanted.

325
00:13:35,874 --> 00:13:37,984
Oh, oh.
That's--that's plenty.

326
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,553
Maybe he was just shy.

327
00:13:39,678 --> 00:13:41,755
I mean, I'd never
been out with him before.

328
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,591
For all I know,
he had social anxiety.

329
00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:48,228
Who's ready for some hot tub action?

330
00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:50,931
Whoo!

331
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:54,617
So my shy theory was a tad off.

332
00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:57,420
Whoo!

333
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,540
I told you no hot tub.

334
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:03,443
I needed an excuse to get in a bikini

335
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,135
so I could lure Jake into my room.

336
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:08,348
But don't worry.
I know you don't do swimsuits,

337
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:12,319
so I brought you
one of my dad's shirts.

338
00:14:12,444 --> 00:14:14,896
Where's Jake?

339
00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:20,093
Lose the clothes, beer wench.

340
00:14:20,218 --> 00:14:21,094
We're going in.

341
00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:23,946
I think I'll pass.

342
00:14:29,311 --> 00:14:30,822
I only missed the concert

343
00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:32,738
'cause I had to go
to my parents' divorce party.

344
00:14:32,982 --> 00:14:33,658
Boo.

345
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:34,993
But get another drink in me

346
00:14:35,118 --> 00:14:37,395
and I can make music in your pants.

347
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,530
Hello?

348
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:39,998
It was a career low.

349
00:14:40,123 --> 00:14:41,966
I had resorted
to the fake phone call.

350
00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:45,136
Oh, I'm just chillin'
at this kickback.

351
00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:47,005
I was putting up
with a bunch of ass-icles

352
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:50,828
just to hang with Matty,
who had barely acknowledged me.

353
00:14:50,953 --> 00:14:52,897
I guess the all-encompassing "we"

354
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,480
I was hoping for wasn't
the "we" that he wanted.

355
00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:59,173
Oh, no, karaoke sounds awesome.

356
00:15:03,412 --> 00:15:05,056
Happy anniversary.

357
00:15:05,181 --> 00:15:06,105
Whoa.
Unh.

358
00:15:06,382 --> 00:15:09,861
- Jeez, Liss.

359
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:12,463
- It's been three months.
- Mm-hmm.

360
00:15:12,588 --> 00:15:16,334
And I want to reward you

361
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:18,636
for being so patient.

362
00:15:18,761 --> 00:15:22,840
Oh.
I don't need a reward.

363
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,075
Whoa.

364
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,252
I can't give you
exactly what you want...

365
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:30,014
Uh-huh.

366
00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:33,384
But I can give you...

367
00:15:33,509 --> 00:15:36,454
My be-hymen!

368
00:15:36,579 --> 00:15:41,015
Jake, can you--
can you help me with this?

369
00:15:41,284 --> 00:15:44,552
Jake? Jake?

370
00:15:48,725 --> 00:15:49,801
Just a second.

371
00:15:49,926 --> 00:15:54,653
Jenna, are you playing video games?

372
00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:57,308
Okay, look, this clearly
wasn't a real invite.

373
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:58,666
You have enough pictures,

374
00:15:58,832 --> 00:15:59,959
so can we please just go?

375
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,446
Two skanks are all over Matty,

376
00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:02,947
but he hit the ignore button.

377
00:16:03,072 --> 00:16:05,080
Probably because he's waiting
for some Hamilton soup.

378
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:06,918
Really?

379
00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:11,089
Tamara was right.

380
00:16:11,214 --> 00:16:12,690
Matty wasn't responsive.

381
00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:16,060
Even though sluts-her-face
was practically dry-humping him.

382
00:16:16,185 --> 00:16:17,629
Ow.

383
00:16:17,754 --> 00:16:18,630
I did want to go in.

384
00:16:18,755 --> 00:16:20,031
And what did I have to lose?

385
00:16:20,303 --> 00:16:22,139
I had some Victoria's
secrets of my own.

386
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:29,507
I didn't know if
he was going out of his way

387
00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:30,875
to answer my question,

388
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,645
but he couldn't
have made it any clearer.

389
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,680
Matty and I weren't a "we" at all.

390
00:16:35,805 --> 00:16:37,982
There was only me, and...

391
00:16:38,107 --> 00:16:40,674
Me was devastated.

392
00:16:52,627 --> 00:16:54,972
What are you looking at, freak?

393
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,073
Nothin

394
00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:58,008
looks like Matty
invited a lot of people.

395
00:16:58,174 --> 00:17:00,077
I'm not in the mood for a sob fest,

396
00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:04,139
so why don't you go home
and practice the blood violin?

397
00:17:06,474 --> 00:17:07,985
Yeah.
I'm sorry.

398
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,553
Oh, you want to take this inside?

399
00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:13,232
No. Just back off, please?

400
00:17:13,398 --> 00:17:14,959
Okay, I want to go, "t."

401
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,795
But I need her
to hold up my extensions.

402
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,997
Isn't this awesome? Oh!

403
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,932
In a little while, okay?

404
00:17:22,057 --> 00:17:25,603
It's a little serendip... Itous
that I'm gonna vomit,

405
00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:27,638
because now I don't
have to feel guilty

406
00:17:27,763 --> 00:17:29,607
about eating all those nachos.

407
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,375
Uh, hold that thought.

408
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,844
Cup up, Karli.

409
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,180
Roman shower, coming through.

410
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,773
Sprinkles, come here, b--

411
00:17:43,444 --> 00:17:44,321
Hey, mom.

412
00:17:44,446 --> 00:17:46,056
It's only 9:15.

413
00:17:46,181 --> 00:17:48,459
Oh, please don't tell me you
want me to pick you up already.

414
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:51,128
Um, no, I was actually, um,

415
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:54,398
calling because the party's
so awesome, we might be a while.

416
00:17:58,860 --> 00:17:59,603
Hey.

417
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,038
What are you doing out here?

418
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,073
Uh, I don't know.

419
00:18:03,239 --> 00:18:04,742
What are you doing?

420
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,343
Leaving.

421
00:18:06,468 --> 00:18:09,505
Hey, you need a ride?

422
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:11,966
Please.

423
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:17,755
Anyone want to make out with me?

424
00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:22,582
Anyone?
Running solo here.

425
00:18:35,772 --> 00:18:37,708
So lissa refuses
to have sex with you,

426
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:40,069
- but she'll do that?
- Yep.

427
00:18:40,235 --> 00:18:42,613
And, um, get ready
to piss your pants,

428
00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:45,340
because she called it her be-hymen.

429
00:18:45,465 --> 00:18:47,217
Oh, my God.
That's genius.

430
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:48,953
I can't believe I just told you that.

431
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,163
I can't either, but I'm glad you did.

432
00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:52,331
Really? Why?

433
00:18:52,456 --> 00:18:53,791
It means you trust me.

434
00:18:53,957 --> 00:18:55,459
You're easy to talk to.

435
00:18:55,625 --> 00:18:57,470
I was just thinking the same thing.

436
00:19:00,221 --> 00:19:02,016
So why did you bail on the party?

437
00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:04,393
'Cause, um...

438
00:19:07,628 --> 00:19:09,106
It sucked.

439
00:19:09,272 --> 00:19:10,232
Yeah, agreed.

440
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:12,845
Oh, I forgot to mention
the part of the story

441
00:19:12,970 --> 00:19:14,445
where I completely bolted.

442
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,113
I mean, does that make me an ass?

443
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,073
Just ass-ophobic.

444
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:24,071
Look, I mean, I want to do it.

445
00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,589
You know, I'm a guy.

446
00:19:25,714 --> 00:19:27,424
Just under different circumstances.

447
00:19:27,549 --> 00:19:29,618
Like maybe after we've
known each other longer, and...

448
00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:31,061
Does that make any sense?

449
00:19:31,186 --> 00:19:33,097
I knew exactly what he meant.

450
00:19:33,222 --> 00:19:35,299
Not that I wanted
to take it up with kardashian.

451
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,035
But maybe Matty and I
shouldn't have done anything

452
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,803
until we knew each other better.

453
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,631
Man. Everything on
the radio's really depressing.

454
00:19:42,797 --> 00:19:44,408
I had barely
spent any time with Jake,

455
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,311
and I already knew extremely
intimate stuff about him.

456
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,847
Weird stuff I didn't
really want to know.

457
00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:51,306
Do you have to be home right away?

458
00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:53,934
I have a few hours to kill.

459
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,958
Oh, my God.
Someone pooped.

460
00:20:13,369 --> 00:20:15,205
Wait.

461
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:18,175
Do you hear those lyrics?
Turn it up.

462
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,545
♪ Don't come knocking
on my back door ♪

463
00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:25,799
♪ saying don't come
knocking on my back door ♪

464
00:20:25,965 --> 00:20:27,751
♪ saying all those pretty words ♪

465
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:29,699
♪ you said before ♪

466
00:20:29,824 --> 00:20:31,784
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

