1
00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:03,190
You should get married immediately.
2
00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:05,904
You get married, you win, she loses.
3
00:00:06,024 --> 00:00:07,716
She has to be with a man,
that bad.
4
00:00:07,836 --> 00:00:11,498
That's why we get married in the first place.
We tried living with men ourselves, it's awful.
5
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,139
It's bad.
6
00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:17,340
You get out of school,
I'm gonna live with my friends, it's gonna be great!
We're not gonna get married.
7
00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:22,441
These are your friends. They steal your money, your booze,
sleep with your women. It's like living with pirates. It's awful!
8
00:00:23,904 --> 00:00:26,914
Tonight on the new and improved Marriage Ref
9
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:31,733
big time movie star and original King of comedy
Cedric The Entertainer
10
00:00:31,853 --> 00:00:34,150
I will thank you, you betcha.
11
00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:38,380
From Apache Junction, Arizona,
Dan and Donna Winslow.
12
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,682
- How many pair of earrings you got?
- I do't know, I don't count my stuff.
13
00:00:41,802 --> 00:00:42,876
You have 1,400.
14
00:00:43,603 --> 00:00:44,936
- You know her and love her
15
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,539
from Saturday Night Live
and 30 Rock,
16
00:00:47,607 --> 00:00:48,773
Rachel Dratch.
17
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,642
- Whoo! Come over!
18
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,311
- Representing the great state
of Utah,
19
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:54,813
Kurt and Wendy Green.
20
00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:59,251
- Wendy probably sends
about 1,000 cards a year.
21
00:00:59,318 --> 00:01:01,453
[Cheers and applause]
22
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,623
- Star of The Soup
and the hit show Community,
23
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,991
Joel McHale.
24
00:01:06,058 --> 00:01:09,394
- Ugh! Why did you
bring them into this world?
25
00:01:09,462 --> 00:01:12,497
- All the way
from Branford, Connecticut,
26
00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,000
Michael and Bernadette Daniele.
27
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,635
- That's insane,
what you're doing.
28
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,271
You need to get a hobby.
That's not normal.
29
00:01:19,338 --> 00:01:23,775
- And now, welcome your host,
Tom Papa.
30
00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:26,878
[Cheers and applause]
- Thank you.
31
00:01:28,251 --> 00:01:30,324
Welcome to The Marriage Ref.
32
00:01:30,444 --> 00:01:31,821
I'm Tom Papa.
33
00:01:31,941 --> 00:01:33,633
On this show
we have people fighting.
34
00:01:33,753 --> 00:01:36,022
Then we ask celebrities
to decide who's right.
35
00:01:36,142 --> 00:01:38,200
Just like they do it
at the supreme court.
36
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,525
Say hello to
our celebrities, everybody.
37
00:01:40,593 --> 00:01:46,264
[Cheers and applause]
38
00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:49,167
Thank you, guys.
Good to see you.
39
00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,769
- Good to see you, Tom.
40
00:01:50,836 --> 00:01:52,270
- Rachel...
- Yes?
41
00:01:52,338 --> 00:01:53,571
- Good to have you.
- Thank you.
42
00:01:53,639 --> 00:01:54,973
- Remind me, how long
have you been married?
43
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:56,374
- I'm not married.
- Oh, you're not married.
44
00:01:56,442 --> 00:01:57,776
- No.
- Oh.
45
00:01:57,843 --> 00:01:59,778
Are you dating?
- Um, yeah.
46
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,880
I actually have a baby.
47
00:02:01,948 --> 00:02:03,114
- You have a baby?
- Yeah.
48
00:02:03,182 --> 00:02:04,516
- Nice.
49
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,085
- With someone who I'm dating.
[Laughter]
50
00:02:07,153 --> 00:02:08,586
- How old's the baby?
- Two months.
51
00:02:08,654 --> 00:02:10,989
- Two months? Oh, my lord.
- Yeah.
52
00:02:11,057 --> 00:02:14,125
- Wow. That's amazing.
53
00:02:14,193 --> 00:02:16,094
- Ooh. She got a baby daddy.
54
00:02:16,162 --> 00:02:17,662
[Laughter]
55
00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:19,998
Rachel got a baby daddy.
56
00:02:20,066 --> 00:02:22,334
- What about you?
What's your situation?
57
00:02:22,401 --> 00:02:23,635
You got kids?
- I'm married.
58
00:02:23,703 --> 00:02:25,370
I have three kids.
- How long you been married?
59
00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:27,138
- I've been married 11 years.
60
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,940
- 11 years?
- 11 years.
61
00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:30,275
- Nice.
- Yeah.
62
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:32,110
[Cheers and applause]
63
00:02:32,178 --> 00:02:34,079
You see how long that took
to get applause?
64
00:02:34,146 --> 00:02:35,080
- Oh, they don't really care.
65
00:02:35,147 --> 00:02:36,614
- Nobody really cares anymore.
66
00:02:36,682 --> 00:02:39,751
Like, 11...All right.
67
00:02:39,819 --> 00:02:42,721
You know what, that's worthy.
68
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,089
- They're more excited
about the baby daddy.
69
00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:45,357
- Yeah, exactly.
It's great.
70
00:02:45,424 --> 00:02:47,826
- Joel, I've met your wife.
- Yes, you have.
71
00:02:47,893 --> 00:02:49,461
- Yeah, she's very attractive.
- Yes, she is.
72
00:02:49,528 --> 00:02:51,496
- How long you been with her?
- I'm gonna punch you.
73
00:02:51,564 --> 00:02:56,134
Uh, we've been with each other
for 16 years.
74
00:02:56,202 --> 00:02:57,602
- Wow.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,170
And we've been married for 14.
76
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:02,574
- For 14.
- So...Ha ha ha ha.
77
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:05,543
[Cheers and applause]
78
00:03:05,611 --> 00:03:06,745
- It's almost as the number
goes higher,
79
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:07,946
the less the audience
is into it.
80
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:10,348
- Less applause. It's like--
- big deal.
81
00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:12,550
- All right, this is what
we're gonna do tonight.
82
00:03:12,618 --> 00:03:14,285
We're gonna watch
some married couples.
83
00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:15,687
They're gonna have arguments,
84
00:03:15,755 --> 00:03:18,323
and then we are gonna decide
who is right,
85
00:03:18,391 --> 00:03:20,358
and who is wrong.
- The guy.
86
00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:21,426
- And you three will
make the call.
87
00:03:21,494 --> 00:03:22,894
- Sorry.
88
00:03:22,962 --> 00:03:24,929
- You will make the call,
all right?
89
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:25,964
You don't have to help them.
90
00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:27,432
It's not that kind of a show.
91
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,433
- Okay.
- All right?
92
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:29,768
And at the end of the show,
93
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,870
our studio audience
is gonna vote
94
00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:34,139
on which of tonight's
three winners
95
00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:35,306
is the rightest.
96
00:03:35,374 --> 00:03:37,375
And whoever's the rightest
gets a check
97
00:03:37,443 --> 00:03:39,444
for $25,000,
98
00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:42,380
and a billboard
in their hometown
99
00:03:42,448 --> 00:03:45,150
declaring they are right.
100
00:03:45,217 --> 00:03:48,353
[Cheers and applause]
101
00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:50,588
All right, now that we're
all caught up,
102
00:03:50,656 --> 00:03:53,224
let's meet our first couple
the Winslows,
103
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:55,360
in Apache Junction, Arizona.
104
00:03:55,428 --> 00:03:58,496
[Playful music]
105
00:03:58,564 --> 00:04:00,732
- We've known each other
for about 40 years.
106
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,934
We met because of
my work and her work.
107
00:04:03,002 --> 00:04:04,836
- I was the boss' daughter.
108
00:04:04,904 --> 00:04:06,104
And I wasn't supposed
to be having
109
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:07,605
nothing to do with him.
110
00:04:07,673 --> 00:04:09,140
He's redneck.
111
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,609
I like to think of myself
as being uptown, you know.
112
00:04:11,677 --> 00:04:14,412
When he come in the office
there wasn't sparks my part.
113
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,147
- Well, there wasn't
to begin with with you...
114
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,650
- [Laughs]
- But it just worked itself out.
115
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,784
- It did.
116
00:04:25,024 --> 00:04:26,591
- This is my closet.
117
00:04:26,659 --> 00:04:30,095
My white tops are here, red...
118
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:33,264
I love fancy sweatshirts..
119
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,999
- She cannot come out of a store
without buying something.
120
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,968
Why would I go to a store
121
00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:40,004
if I wasn't going
to buy something?
122
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,406
- You got clothes in there,
you don't even know
123
00:04:41,474 --> 00:04:42,941
where they are or what they are.
- I wonder what it is.
124
00:04:43,008 --> 00:04:45,543
- I think if you Haven't
wore something in six months,
125
00:04:45,611 --> 00:04:49,414
you should get rid of it.
- I have one walk-in closet.
126
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:50,849
Isn't that pretty?
- Yeah.
127
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,150
I have another full closet,
128
00:04:52,218 --> 00:04:54,052
and I have five racks
in that bedroom.
129
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,887
I have clothes in the container
in the garage.
130
00:04:55,955 --> 00:04:59,991
My sweaters for the winter
and things are not even out.
131
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:02,026
- Out here, you don't need
a lot of clothes.
132
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:06,531
I probably have about 15
to 17 pair of shorts.
133
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,500
My wife changes...
Twice today.
134
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,468
- [Laughs]
135
00:05:10,536 --> 00:05:12,604
- Sometimes three times,
if we're going out at night.
136
00:05:12,671 --> 00:05:14,739
- I like to try to stay
with the style
137
00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,241
as best I can.
138
00:05:16,308 --> 00:05:20,345
I probably am
a little more blingy...
139
00:05:20,412 --> 00:05:22,080
Than some of my friends.
140
00:05:22,148 --> 00:05:25,617
Bling. Bling.
141
00:05:25,684 --> 00:05:27,318
- 102 pair.
142
00:05:27,386 --> 00:05:28,353
- You counted 'em again?
143
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:30,555
- One, two, three, four...
144
00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:32,190
I've always been
pretty good with numbers.
145
00:05:32,258 --> 00:05:35,059
That causes me to
want to count things.
146
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,394
16, 17, 18...
147
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:39,063
When I get the occasion,
and Donna's not home,
148
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,999
I tend to do a little counting.
149
00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:43,668
71, 72, 73...
150
00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:47,272
- Our first fight we had,
you counted my shoes.
151
00:05:47,339 --> 00:05:48,673
- And I've counted 'em again.
152
00:05:48,741 --> 00:05:50,975
- Well, you--
- you've got 160-some pair.
153
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:52,844
- And I just got rid
of 60 pair.
154
00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:55,380
- And you just bought
two new pair Friday!
155
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:59,751
- So?
- 90, 91, 92...
156
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,320
- Danny, I can buy--
- those earrings you got on.
157
00:06:02,388 --> 00:06:04,022
How many pair of earrings
you got?
158
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:05,390
- I don't know.
I don't count my stuff!
159
00:06:05,457 --> 00:06:06,691
- You got 1,400.
160
00:06:06,759 --> 00:06:08,326
Most of the time, you're
a pretty decent person
161
00:06:08,394 --> 00:06:09,460
and what have you.
162
00:06:09,528 --> 00:06:10,995
But when it comes
to these clothes,
163
00:06:11,063 --> 00:06:13,231
you're kinda out of line.
164
00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:16,834
97...98...99...100...
165
00:06:16,902 --> 00:06:19,337
[Cheers and applause]
166
00:06:19,405 --> 00:06:22,974
So the issue here is
should a married man
167
00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:25,810
have to live in the closet?
168
00:06:25,878 --> 00:06:27,912
Do you think that
she's going too far? Is it--
169
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:30,949
- oh, no, she doesn't
seem nuts at all!
170
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,150
[Laughter]
171
00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:34,619
- But she seems so organized.
172
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:37,855
- Her shoes are airtight.
- I know.
173
00:06:37,923 --> 00:06:40,058
- No oxygen will
reach her shoes.
174
00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:44,829
Great boots as well.
That's terrific.
175
00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:47,732
That's for her glam-rock
girl band.
176
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,267
[Laughter]
177
00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:51,603
Thank God she's labeled them.
178
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:53,671
- I like how she labeled
"bubble blouses."
179
00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:55,006
- Yeah.
- I want to know,
180
00:06:55,074 --> 00:06:56,307
what is a bubble blouse?
181
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,544
- It doesn't sound flattering.
182
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:03,548
- Or does it?
183
00:07:03,616 --> 00:07:06,084
- I think may be
wearing the bubble blouse.
184
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:08,152
- Yeah.
185
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,421
Look at that, he's got
two pinky rings--look at that.
186
00:07:10,489 --> 00:07:11,689
- I love the player rings.
187
00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:12,924
That's what I was saying.
He's so cool.
188
00:07:12,992 --> 00:07:14,225
- Cedric, if you were
gonna go shop with him,
189
00:07:14,293 --> 00:07:16,728
where would you start,
sleeves or pants?
190
00:07:16,795 --> 00:07:20,898
- Oh, sleeves off the top.
191
00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:21,899
- How good a shape
do you have to be in
192
00:07:21,967 --> 00:07:24,102
to not wear sleeves?
193
00:07:24,169 --> 00:07:25,336
- He's feeling good
about himself.
194
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,606
- I like him.
And he's good at counting.
195
00:07:28,674 --> 00:07:29,707
- He is really good
at counting.
196
00:07:29,775 --> 00:07:31,542
- She's, like,
three rollaway racks
197
00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:33,811
from being obsessive.
She's fine right now, but--
198
00:07:33,879 --> 00:07:35,813
- you think she's fine
right now?
199
00:07:35,881 --> 00:07:37,982
- If she gets, like,
two more rollaway racks,
200
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,851
I'm going, "you're crazy."
- But were those--
201
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,287
were those racks
in their own bedroom,
202
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:43,921
or was that the spare bedroom?
203
00:07:43,989 --> 00:07:44,956
- I think it's
the spare bedroom.
204
00:07:45,024 --> 00:07:46,157
- Then it might be okay.
205
00:07:46,225 --> 00:07:47,525
I don't know if she's
gonna change.
206
00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:48,660
- Are you nuts?
This is--
207
00:07:48,727 --> 00:07:49,927
- I don't know.
208
00:07:49,995 --> 00:07:52,263
- She can't walk in the house.
Look at that.
209
00:07:52,331 --> 00:07:54,365
- Well, it seems to me like
she might have a bit
210
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,867
of, like, a hoarding problem.
211
00:07:55,934 --> 00:08:00,371
But she is the neatest
hoarder I've ever seen.
212
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,908
- She also said she likes
to stay with the styles and...
213
00:08:03,976 --> 00:08:06,144
- Yes.
- Yeah.
214
00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:08,179
- Yes.
[Laughter]
215
00:08:08,247 --> 00:08:10,615
- Well, she says
she's very uptown.
216
00:08:10,683 --> 00:08:12,583
- What town?
- Apache creek.
217
00:08:12,651 --> 00:08:13,951
- I know. I wonder
if that's what
218
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:16,154
the Indians had in mind
when they had Apache Junction.
219
00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:19,023
- I'm actually kind of
with her, you know.
220
00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:22,293
And I love the fact that
she's a little bling-blingy.
221
00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:24,996
She's a--
she just like to be fly, man.
222
00:08:25,064 --> 00:08:26,597
So I'm with her. I'm, like--
- you're with her?
223
00:08:26,665 --> 00:08:28,433
- I'm with her, man.
- I would think that
224
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,468
white people like this
using the word "bling"
225
00:08:30,536 --> 00:08:32,303
would really bother you.
- It did.
226
00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:34,205
I was a little concerned.
227
00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:35,440
I was wondering if
she had ever listened
228
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:39,243
to cash money records
at all, you know.
229
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,778
You know, I don't know, but...
230
00:08:40,846 --> 00:08:43,448
I wonder if she's got
a bedazzler.
231
00:08:43,515 --> 00:08:45,783
[Laughter]
- Yeah.
232
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:47,418
- She'd be, like,
"you know what,
233
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:51,522
this is so average..."
Tack, tack, tack, tack, tack...
234
00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:54,225
- Bling!
- No.
235
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:57,895
Apache junction won't know
what's happening to 'em.
236
00:08:57,963 --> 00:09:00,164
- But, Cedric, I've never seen
you in the same thing twice.
237
00:09:00,232 --> 00:09:01,733
- Right.
- Right?
238
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:02,934
- Where do you keep
all your clothes?
239
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,636
- On rollaway...
240
00:09:05,704 --> 00:09:08,106
[Laughter]
241
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:12,744
- Just like that.
242
00:09:12,811 --> 00:09:15,113
All right, I've just been told
that a stretch golf cart
243
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,383
has pulled up to the studio,
and the Winslows are here.
244
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:21,152
We'll meet 'em
right after this.
245
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:24,756
[Cheers and applause]
246
00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:27,759
- Coming up...
Things get a little spicy.
247
00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:29,193
- Mexican train?
248
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:30,661
- Yeah, how do you play
Mexican train?
249
00:09:30,729 --> 00:09:34,365
- I hope it's not like
that nudist camp all over again.
250
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,934
- Then Joel McHale gets
really real.
251
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:39,137
- Just relax, you crazy person!
252
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,339
- And later,
our audience decides
253
00:09:41,407 --> 00:09:46,077
who will win $25,000 and
their very own billboard.
254
00:09:46,145 --> 00:09:48,179
- And the rightest
of the right is...
255
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,185
- All right, welcome back
to The Marriage Ref.
256
00:09:57,253 --> 00:09:59,454
We're about to settle
the age-old argument--
257
00:09:59,522 --> 00:10:03,091
is it okay to turn your house
into an outlet mall?
258
00:10:03,159 --> 00:10:06,228
Ladies and gentlemen,
Dan and Donna Winslow.
259
00:10:06,296 --> 00:10:09,631
[Cheers and applause]
260
00:10:14,237 --> 00:10:16,705
Thank you for being here, guys.
261
00:10:16,773 --> 00:10:18,006
- Hi.
- You look great.
262
00:10:18,074 --> 00:10:19,007
- Thank you.
263
00:10:19,075 --> 00:10:20,709
- This is bling.
264
00:10:20,777 --> 00:10:22,811
- Blingy.
- Cedric, impressed?
265
00:10:22,879 --> 00:10:25,180
- Very blingy.
- Gotta wear bling.
266
00:10:25,248 --> 00:10:26,648
- I love that.
- Thank you.
267
00:10:26,716 --> 00:10:29,151
- How do you feel
being in sleeves?
268
00:10:29,218 --> 00:10:31,119
- I don't feel very good.
[Laughter]
269
00:10:31,187 --> 00:10:34,056
In fact, I don't like being
in these long pants.
270
00:10:34,123 --> 00:10:36,925
- I've not seen him
look this good in a long time.
271
00:10:36,993 --> 00:10:38,593
- We live in Arizona.
I don't wear long pants.
272
00:10:38,661 --> 00:10:40,028
- Do you want him
to dress more?
273
00:10:40,096 --> 00:10:41,396
- Sure.
- You do?
274
00:10:41,464 --> 00:10:42,698
- Oh, yeah.
- And now it's--
275
00:10:42,765 --> 00:10:45,233
- once I retired--
it's retirement.
276
00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:46,468
The good life.
277
00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:47,703
- Have you ever heard
of a nudist colony?
278
00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:49,237
[Laughter]
279
00:10:49,305 --> 00:10:52,774
- I'm a little bashful
for that.
280
00:10:52,842 --> 00:10:54,343
- Oh, that's not gonna happen.
281
00:10:54,410 --> 00:10:56,278
- You've gotta admit
she looks nice, though.
282
00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:58,513
Like, the coordination with
the earrings and the jewelry.
283
00:10:58,581 --> 00:10:59,948
That's why she needs
all that stuff.
284
00:11:00,016 --> 00:11:03,785
- She should look nice. Anybody
with 460 blouses and tops,
285
00:11:03,853 --> 00:11:07,322
1,400 pair of earrings...
286
00:11:07,390 --> 00:11:09,024
- Is that the latest count?
287
00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:12,160
Is that the latest count?
- 160-some pair of shoes...
288
00:11:12,228 --> 00:11:14,096
- A girl can never have
too many clothes.
289
00:11:14,163 --> 00:11:16,965
And too much jewelry,
too many shoes.
290
00:11:17,033 --> 00:11:18,800
- I wonder--
- and it's my--it's my--
291
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,769
I'm not starving
any children or anything.
292
00:11:20,837 --> 00:11:24,072
- If you Haven't wore it
within six months...
293
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,107
If you Haven't worn it
in six months,
294
00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:26,575
you ought to get rid of it.
295
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:27,676
- What's the maximum amount
of outfits
296
00:11:27,744 --> 00:11:29,578
you've ever worn in one day?
297
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:32,347
- Ah, good question.
- Oh, probably about four.
298
00:11:32,415 --> 00:11:34,316
- Oh, okay.
- Maybe five at the most.
299
00:11:34,384 --> 00:11:35,550
We live in a retirement
community.
300
00:11:35,618 --> 00:11:36,785
- Right.
- Okay?
301
00:11:36,853 --> 00:11:38,320
- A lot happening.
- A lot happening.
302
00:11:38,388 --> 00:11:40,622
So you might go
from zumba to lunch
303
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:45,360
to go play canasta
or Mexican train.
304
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:46,561
You might go to dinner.
305
00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:48,130
- Mexican train?
- Yeah!
306
00:11:48,197 --> 00:11:50,932
- How do you play
Mexican train?
307
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,534
- It's a domino game.
- Oh, okay.
308
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:55,570
- Oh.
[Laughter]
309
00:11:55,638 --> 00:12:00,142
- It sounded like
that nudist camp all over again.
310
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:02,177
- You do not want to be
in the same outfit for zumba
311
00:12:02,245 --> 00:12:03,779
as Mexican train.
312
00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:07,215
- Not happening.
[Laughter]
313
00:12:07,283 --> 00:12:08,483
- All right,
we're finally gonna end this.
314
00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:09,651
I think we're ready
to make the call.
315
00:12:09,719 --> 00:12:11,553
- Yeah.
- Who's right,
316
00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:14,790
the husband or the wife?
317
00:12:14,857 --> 00:12:16,024
- I don't know.
You do have everything
318
00:12:16,092 --> 00:12:18,560
very neatly organized.
319
00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:19,728
- I do.
320
00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,297
- And you seem to really
dig your clothes.
321
00:12:22,365 --> 00:12:23,965
I might have to vote with you.
322
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:26,101
- Oh, good!
- Ymight?
323
00:12:26,169 --> 00:12:28,069
- I mean I am, I guess.
- Oh, good.
324
00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:29,905
- I'll tell you right now,
I've not got any friends here.
325
00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:32,574
Is anybody in the audience
my friend?
326
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:33,775
[Cheers and applause]
327
00:12:33,843 --> 00:12:36,745
- Joel, are you--
are you Dan's friend?
328
00:12:36,813 --> 00:12:38,613
- They're--I mean,
they're both nuts.
329
00:12:38,681 --> 00:12:41,917
[Laughter]
330
00:12:41,984 --> 00:12:46,421
So I'm gonna go with
Mr. shorts, and--
331
00:12:46,489 --> 00:12:49,524
no, please.
I don't want to see it.
332
00:12:49,592 --> 00:12:51,193
- Yeah, please.
333
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:55,030
- I'm gonna go
with Mr. Winslow on this one.
334
00:12:55,097 --> 00:12:56,598
She has too many clothes.
- Right.
335
00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,967
Cedric, husband or the wife?
336
00:12:59,035 --> 00:13:00,335
- I mean, he made
some valid points.
337
00:13:00,403 --> 00:13:01,970
You know, I mean, I understand
what you're saying.
338
00:13:02,038 --> 00:13:06,141
But I am a person of fashion
and style, and I am with you!
339
00:13:06,209 --> 00:13:07,409
- Oh, yeah!
- Ah!
340
00:13:07,477 --> 00:13:09,044
- I'm with you.
341
00:13:09,111 --> 00:13:11,813
Dress to impress at all times.
342
00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:15,584
- Donna Winslow, our panel says
that you are right.
343
00:13:15,651 --> 00:13:17,486
[Cheers and applause]
344
00:13:17,553 --> 00:13:19,187
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
345
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:21,857
- Sorry, Dan.
- Thank you. Too bad!
346
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:24,125
- Now, at the end of the show,
we'll bring you back out
347
00:13:24,193 --> 00:13:26,528
and see if our audience thinks
that you are the rightest,
348
00:13:26,596 --> 00:13:29,998
and the winner of $25,000,
and your own billboard.
349
00:13:30,066 --> 00:13:32,501
Thank the Winslows, everybody.
350
00:13:32,568 --> 00:13:33,635
A big thank you
for the Winslows.
351
00:13:33,703 --> 00:13:38,473
[Cheers and applause]
352
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,141
Now let's meet our next couple,
353
00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:42,444
the Danieles,
in Branford, Connecticut.
354
00:13:44,814 --> 00:13:47,983
- We met when we were
in seventh grade?
355
00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:50,018
- Yeah.
- I knew she was the one.
356
00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:52,554
She was a true person, and
she wasn't one of those girls
357
00:13:52,622 --> 00:13:53,989
that was always running around.
358
00:13:54,056 --> 00:13:56,558
- I knew in seventh grade
I loved him.
359
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:58,059
There was just something
about him I always liked.
360
00:13:58,127 --> 00:14:00,328
We're still friends
after 30 years.
361
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,802
- My family,
they're completely wasteful.
362
00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:10,839
[Sighs]
363
00:14:10,907 --> 00:14:12,007
The money I spend on groceries,
364
00:14:12,074 --> 00:14:13,341
I should be driving around
365
00:14:13,409 --> 00:14:14,776
in a brand new Mercedes
every month.
366
00:14:14,844 --> 00:14:17,012
I mean, I try to talk
to them about it.
367
00:14:17,079 --> 00:14:18,980
It doesn't seem to be working.
368
00:14:19,048 --> 00:14:21,049
So I says, well,
how am I gonna do this
369
00:14:21,117 --> 00:14:23,418
without getting crazy about it?
370
00:14:23,486 --> 00:14:25,587
So I started writing on things.
371
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,757
I Mark the paper towels
where the dotted line is.
372
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,892
It says,
"tear on the line."
373
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,728
[Laughter]
374
00:14:33,796 --> 00:14:36,598
Certain things I'll write on--
when I bought it.
375
00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:40,101
Just to prove a point to them.
376
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:41,836
- We call Mike
the "food Nazi" because
377
00:14:41,904 --> 00:14:45,040
he checks on what
we've eaten for the day,
378
00:14:45,107 --> 00:14:48,810
marks it.
- [Sighs]
379
00:14:48,878 --> 00:14:50,078
- I don't think we're wasteful.
380
00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:52,113
I just think we're
a family of seven.
381
00:14:52,181 --> 00:14:54,549
We did use things,
but we didn't waste them.
382
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:56,384
- How the heck can you use
383
00:14:56,452 --> 00:14:59,154
two pounds of grated cheese
in a week?
384
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,224
You can't.
385
00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:05,994
- He hides our food--
386
00:15:06,062 --> 00:15:09,564
especially our condiments
and our cheeses.
387
00:15:09,632 --> 00:15:11,633
He's just nuts.
[Laughs]
388
00:15:20,476 --> 00:15:23,812
It has gotten to the point
with Mike's antics
389
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:26,047
about the food that I don't even
want to come home for dinner.
390
00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:27,449
- Hi, hon.
- Hello.
391
00:15:27,516 --> 00:15:29,184
- How many cheeses are you
putting in the thing?
392
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:31,319
- Three. I'm gonna do
a three-cheese.
393
00:15:31,387 --> 00:15:33,021
- That's crazy.
394
00:15:33,089 --> 00:15:34,456
- I shouldn't have to ask
your permission,
395
00:15:34,523 --> 00:15:35,624
like I'm a little kid.
396
00:15:35,691 --> 00:15:37,759
- 'Cause then you would
waste everything.
397
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:40,061
- It's insane that
you're writing on food!
398
00:15:40,129 --> 00:15:41,496
- No, it's insane that
you people are wasteful.
399
00:15:41,564 --> 00:15:44,165
- You need to get a hobby.
That's not normal.
400
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:45,667
- They think I'm nuts,
401
00:15:45,735 --> 00:15:51,072
but I don't see how I'm crazy.
402
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:53,308
[Laughter]
403
00:15:53,376 --> 00:15:55,577
[Cheers and applause]
404
00:15:55,645 --> 00:15:58,480
- So the issue here is
does your mayonnaise
405
00:15:58,547 --> 00:16:01,383
deserve a hat?
Panel?
406
00:16:01,450 --> 00:16:03,718
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
he's a little overboard.
407
00:16:03,786 --> 00:16:05,654
I like it, though.
I like if ever, like,
408
00:16:05,721 --> 00:16:09,524
somebody, like, came--
like space shuttles came down,
409
00:16:09,592 --> 00:16:11,259
and, like, destroyed the earth,
410
00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:13,128
and their house was
in the wreckage,
411
00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,497
he can be, like, "follow me!
I know where there's ketchup!"
412
00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:17,632
You know, like,
413
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,267
[straining]
"I've gotta--I've gotta...
414
00:16:19,335 --> 00:16:22,203
"Just let me get...
To the toolbox!
415
00:16:22,271 --> 00:16:28,710
I--I have...
Pickles in there!"
416
00:16:28,778 --> 00:16:32,113
- He's got stuff hidden
all over the house.
417
00:16:32,181 --> 00:16:33,214
- What if he accidentally--
418
00:16:33,282 --> 00:16:34,382
when he goes back to get
that mustard,
419
00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:36,618
what if he grabs paint thinner?
[Laughter]
420
00:16:36,686 --> 00:16:39,654
It'd be a horrible,
horrible hotdog.
421
00:16:39,722 --> 00:16:42,057
[Laughter]
422
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:43,458
- I do get
the paper towel thing.
423
00:16:43,526 --> 00:16:45,093
'Cause, like, I'm a conserver.
424
00:16:45,161 --> 00:16:46,461
- You conserve.
That's why you voted
425
00:16:46,529 --> 00:16:49,230
for Mrs. Winslow
in the last segment?
426
00:16:49,298 --> 00:16:50,899
[Laughter]
427
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,034
- Touche. Touche.
428
00:16:53,102 --> 00:16:56,905
- Nine racks of clothes.
429
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,073
- If he had a bubble blouse,
would you vote for him?
430
00:16:58,140 --> 00:16:59,174
- Yes, I would.
431
00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:01,242
I'm all about
the bubble blouse, yes.
432
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:04,345
- At what point do you
throw out the ketchup bottle?
433
00:17:04,413 --> 00:17:06,681
- I've never gone through
a whole bottle.
434
00:17:06,749 --> 00:17:09,417
I think I have one from,
like, ten years ago.
435
00:17:09,485 --> 00:17:11,486
- We still take packets
from McDonald's and stuff,
436
00:17:11,554 --> 00:17:15,223
and just have it.
437
00:17:15,291 --> 00:17:16,691
- You--you don't--
438
00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:19,260
[laughter]
439
00:17:19,328 --> 00:17:22,230
- I don't even buy ketchup
anymore.
440
00:17:22,298 --> 00:17:25,066
- "You ordered a salad."
"I'm gonna need more ketchup."
441
00:17:25,134 --> 00:17:26,835
- Gonna need a few more
ketchups.
442
00:17:26,902 --> 00:17:28,903
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
443
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:30,105
- But are they wasting food?
444
00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:32,774
He just doesn't want them
to eat cheese.
445
00:17:32,842 --> 00:17:34,642
It seems like he grew up
during, like,
446
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,378
the great cheese famine
that we didn't know about.
447
00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:40,115
- It's obvious
the man loves cheese.
448
00:17:40,182 --> 00:17:42,150
- Cheese--cheese--cheese--
449
00:17:42,218 --> 00:17:45,220
cheese--cheeses--cheese.
Cheese!
450
00:17:45,287 --> 00:17:49,190
[Laughter]
451
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:52,761
- What I don't get,
is the family really wasting it?
452
00:17:52,828 --> 00:17:55,697
Like, we didn't really
see evidence of them wasting.
453
00:17:55,765 --> 00:17:56,798
They're just eating.
454
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:57,966
- Obviously,
when you see the size
455
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,467
of that quesadilla
that she's making...
456
00:17:59,535 --> 00:18:01,369
It's enormous.
- It is huge.
457
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:03,304
- I mean, it's almost like
she's just
458
00:18:03,372 --> 00:18:05,206
rubbing it in his face.
459
00:18:05,274 --> 00:18:07,275
Like, "yeah, I'm using
all the cheese!
460
00:18:07,343 --> 00:18:09,711
I'm using all the cheese."
461
00:18:09,779 --> 00:18:11,012
- They need to get some
of those kids out the house.
462
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,180
I mean, somebody's gotta move.
463
00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:14,883
- Yeah, be brought it
on himself.
464
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:17,185
So what does he expect?
465
00:18:17,253 --> 00:18:18,453
- All right, when we come back,
466
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,655
the Danieles are gonna
be here in the studio.
467
00:18:20,723 --> 00:18:23,825
So do yourself a favor
and hide your condiments.
468
00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:29,097
- And now, the world premiere
of the Winslow remix!
469
00:18:29,165 --> 00:18:31,299
- I like to try to stay
with the style-
470
00:18:31,367 --> 00:18:33,735
style.
St-st-st-style.
471
00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:34,903
I like bling.
472
00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:37,071
Bling. Bling.
473
00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:38,339
Bling.
474
00:18:38,407 --> 00:18:41,576
[Hip-hop music]
- ♪ yo, ma...Yeah ♪
475
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:45,046
♪ c'mon, c'mon, c'mon ♪
476
00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:47,348
♪ so I'm livin' livin' it up ♪
477
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,784
[Ding, ding]
478
00:18:49,852 --> 00:18:53,021
- ♪ I like bling, I like bling
I like bling ♪
479
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,222
[Laughing]
480
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:55,990
[Ding]
Isn't that pretty? Yeah. Yeah.
481
00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:59,160
- ♪ Unh, c'mon ♪
482
00:18:59,228 --> 00:19:01,696
- I like to think of myself
as being uptown, you know.
483
00:19:01,764 --> 00:19:03,064
I like bling.
484
00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:04,532
[Ding]
485
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,334
[Laughing]
486
00:19:06,402 --> 00:19:09,838
[Cheers and applause]
487
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:18,669
- Ah, you've returned
to The Marriage Ref.
488
00:19:18,737 --> 00:19:21,271
We've seen their fight, now
let's meet them in real life.
489
00:19:21,339 --> 00:19:24,141
Michael and Bernadette
Daniele, everybody.
490
00:19:24,209 --> 00:19:27,311
[Cheers and applause]
491
00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:32,182
- Ah, thanks for
being here, guys.
492
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,417
- Thanks for having us.
493
00:19:33,485 --> 00:19:34,618
- You look great.
- Thank you.
494
00:19:34,686 --> 00:19:36,520
- How long you guys been
married?
495
00:19:36,588 --> 00:19:37,721
- 30 years.
- 30 years.
496
00:19:37,789 --> 00:19:39,556
And how old's your oldest kid?
497
00:19:39,624 --> 00:19:41,025
- 29.
- 29.
498
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:45,262
So that's basically 30 years
of nobody listening to you.
499
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:47,498
- Yeah, pretty much.
500
00:19:47,565 --> 00:19:49,266
- I have little kids,
and they're just starting
501
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,667
to not listen to me.
502
00:19:50,735 --> 00:19:54,104
And I know you are my future.
503
00:19:54,172 --> 00:19:56,573
- Just remember that
these kids are not little.
504
00:19:56,641 --> 00:19:59,777
They're old.
I mean, 29, 26, 22.
505
00:19:59,844 --> 00:20:01,412
- And they're still
in the house?
506
00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:02,446
- Yeah.
- No, they all came back.
507
00:20:02,514 --> 00:20:03,680
- They were out.
They came back.
508
00:20:03,748 --> 00:20:04,748
- Oh, that's what
made you snap.
509
00:20:04,816 --> 00:20:07,117
- Yes.
510
00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:10,320
- What was the incident
that turned you into, like,
511
00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:11,655
"I'm gonna hide these
in the garage"?
512
00:20:11,723 --> 00:20:13,690
Like, what happened?
- That's a great question.
513
00:20:13,758 --> 00:20:14,758
- Well, I started hiding it
because
514
00:20:14,826 --> 00:20:16,060
when I'd go
in the refrigerator,
515
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,861
and I go, all right,
wait a minute.
516
00:20:17,929 --> 00:20:19,430
Why is there two of these open?
517
00:20:19,497 --> 00:20:21,765
There's two mayonnaise--
two huge jar of mayonnaise,
518
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:23,033
two huge things of ketchup.
519
00:20:23,101 --> 00:20:24,701
I mean, when you look on it,
520
00:20:24,769 --> 00:20:27,071
you see, like,
four ounces of ketchup
521
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:28,705
sitting in their plate...
- No!
522
00:20:28,773 --> 00:20:32,009
- That they didn't even--
- no! Those bastards!
523
00:20:32,077 --> 00:20:34,878
Oh, why did you bring them
into this world?
524
00:20:34,946 --> 00:20:36,346
[Laughter]
525
00:20:36,414 --> 00:20:37,514
Ugh!
526
00:20:37,582 --> 00:20:38,482
- I figured out of sight,
out of mind.
527
00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:39,550
If it's gone, they figure
528
00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:40,651
there's no more left.
529
00:20:40,718 --> 00:20:42,119
- You're like
the angry easter bunny.
530
00:20:42,187 --> 00:20:44,922
[Laughter]
531
00:20:44,989 --> 00:20:46,090
- Have you ever been looking
for something else,
532
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,459
and, like, just,
"oh, where are my shoes?"
533
00:20:48,526 --> 00:20:51,728
And then just find ketchup?
- Yes!
534
00:20:51,796 --> 00:20:54,098
- Well, I just started
hiding it recently--
535
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:57,101
months--
you know, a year ago.
536
00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:59,203
Pretty much. I mean, they used
to be in the cabinet.
537
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:02,439
- Oh, okay, well,
that's different.
538
00:21:02,507 --> 00:21:05,008
- The only reason he does this
is because he pays for the food.
539
00:21:05,076 --> 00:21:06,844
I pay for all the other
household expenses.
540
00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:09,813
The food is his thing
that he has to pay for.
541
00:21:09,881 --> 00:21:11,381
So he's, like, limiting...
- Now you're lying.
542
00:21:11,449 --> 00:21:13,584
- What we could...
- Now you're lying.
543
00:21:13,651 --> 00:21:14,852
- No, that is all you pay for.
544
00:21:14,919 --> 00:21:19,156
And that's the only thing
that he controls,
545
00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:20,924
so he is trying to control us
on what we can eat,
546
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:22,226
'cause he bought it.
547
00:21:22,293 --> 00:21:24,328
- Okay, I think we're ready
to make the call.
548
00:21:24,395 --> 00:21:29,700
Who is right, Cedric,
husband or the wife?
549
00:21:29,767 --> 00:21:31,468
- You know, at first,
when I saw it--
550
00:21:31,536 --> 00:21:33,637
I saw him hide the mayo
under the lampshade,
551
00:21:33,705 --> 00:21:36,540
I'm figuring...
Mike's lost it.
552
00:21:36,608 --> 00:21:38,675
But you know, after
listening to him explain--
553
00:21:38,743 --> 00:21:40,244
and I'm with you, Mike.
I'm with you 100%.
554
00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:42,479
- Aha! Thank you.
- I get it.
555
00:21:42,547 --> 00:21:46,183
- I'm glad someone
understands me.
556
00:21:46,251 --> 00:21:48,085
- Wow. Rachel?
557
00:21:48,153 --> 00:21:49,786
- You know what,
I'm gonna vote with Bernadette.
558
00:21:49,854 --> 00:21:51,788
But I do think you should
go easy on your paper towels,
559
00:21:51,856 --> 00:21:52,990
' cause they're...
560
00:21:53,057 --> 00:21:55,726
- All right, so we have one
for the husband,
561
00:21:55,793 --> 00:21:57,728
one for the wife.
Joel McHale...
562
00:21:57,795 --> 00:21:59,997
Their destiny is in your hand.
563
00:22:00,064 --> 00:22:02,199
Who is right,
the husband or the wife?
564
00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:05,969
- After watching the package
and hearing you,
565
00:22:06,037 --> 00:22:10,107
I definitely don't want
to spend any time with you.
566
00:22:10,175 --> 00:22:13,310
[Laughter]
567
00:22:13,378 --> 00:22:14,878
I just feel like,
when the camera's turned off,
568
00:22:14,946 --> 00:22:16,180
and you're in the basement,
569
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:18,782
there's just screams
coming from down there,
570
00:22:18,850 --> 00:22:21,418
and there's just a lot of,
"aha!"
571
00:22:21,486 --> 00:22:24,621
And, "another package open!"
572
00:22:24,689 --> 00:22:28,325
And, uh...
I think you need help.
573
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:33,263
And you need to let her
buy the food,
574
00:22:33,331 --> 00:22:35,032
and you should just open
a pack of chips
575
00:22:35,099 --> 00:22:38,035
and have one
and throw it away and just--
576
00:22:38,102 --> 00:22:41,972
just relax, you crazy person...
577
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,575
For once.
578
00:22:44,642 --> 00:22:46,410
- So?
- I am with Bernadette 1,000%.
579
00:22:46,477 --> 00:22:47,611
- Bernadette.
580
00:22:47,679 --> 00:22:51,181
Congratulations, Bernadette.
You were right.
581
00:22:51,249 --> 00:22:53,984
Hang around till the end
of the show.
582
00:22:54,052 --> 00:22:55,452
See if you're the rightest
of the night,
583
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,622
and you could win $25,000
and your own billboard,
584
00:22:58,690 --> 00:23:00,824
telling everyone
in your neighborhood
585
00:23:00,892 --> 00:23:03,594
that you are right.
- That I'm right!
586
00:23:03,661 --> 00:23:05,495
- Thank the Danieles,
everybody.
587
00:23:05,563 --> 00:23:07,698
A big round of applause
for the Danieles.
588
00:23:07,765 --> 00:23:09,032
Congratulations.
589
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:12,603
All right,
we're gonna take a quick break.
590
00:23:12,670 --> 00:23:14,705
But first...
We scour the country
591
00:23:14,772 --> 00:23:16,173
to find couples for our shows.
592
00:23:16,241 --> 00:23:18,842
Some we like, some
we just have to say,
593
00:23:18,910 --> 00:23:23,113
"you know what,
you're on your own."
594
00:23:23,181 --> 00:23:25,582
[Cheers and applause]
595
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:30,187
- He grabs my butt
all the time.
596
00:23:30,255 --> 00:23:33,156
- Tornadoes are exciting.
597
00:23:33,224 --> 00:23:35,792
- He's, like, "the tornado,
it just touched down
598
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:38,095
at mockingbird and skillman."
599
00:23:38,162 --> 00:23:40,464
And I'm, like, going,
"mockingbird and skillman?
600
00:23:40,531 --> 00:23:43,300
We're all gonna die!"
601
00:23:43,368 --> 00:23:45,469
- I'm sitting there,
minding my own business,
602
00:23:45,536 --> 00:23:48,005
and you come in, and you put
a banana in your mouth,
603
00:23:48,072 --> 00:23:49,673
and you start chewing it.
604
00:23:49,741 --> 00:23:51,608
And then I have to hear
your teeth
605
00:23:51,676 --> 00:23:55,312
going up and down,
up and down, up and down.
606
00:23:55,380 --> 00:24:00,951
Don't eat the banana around me!
607
00:24:01,019 --> 00:24:02,452
- All right, when we come back,
608
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,789
we're gonna meet our
final couple of the night.
609
00:24:05,857 --> 00:24:06,857
[Cheers and applause]
610
00:24:06,924 --> 00:24:08,392
- Coming up, we meet
611
00:24:08,459 --> 00:24:10,327
our most controversial couple of
the night.
612
00:24:10,395 --> 00:24:14,731
- She's gonna have to really
pull one out of her hat
613
00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:17,634
to convince me she's not
out of her mind.
614
00:24:17,702 --> 00:24:19,036
- You killed him with a knife!
615
00:24:19,103 --> 00:24:21,305
- Except embalming is
really cool.
616
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:22,806
- Embalming is cool?
All right,
617
00:24:22,874 --> 00:24:26,043
I'm trying to tell them
you're not crazy.
618
00:24:26,110 --> 00:24:29,246
Is she the rightest?
Find out next.
619
00:24:37,804 --> 00:24:39,238
- Welcome back to
The Marriage Ref.
620
00:24:39,306 --> 00:24:41,040
Let's go to Pleasant View,
Utah,
621
00:24:41,107 --> 00:24:43,742
and meet Kurt and Wendy Green.
622
00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:45,311
[Cheers and applause]
623
00:24:45,378 --> 00:24:46,912
- We met at the mall.
624
00:24:46,980 --> 00:24:50,883
He had a girlfriend
with a big butt.
625
00:24:50,951 --> 00:24:54,920
I fell in love instantly.
He was gorgeous.
626
00:24:54,988 --> 00:24:56,121
- She's smokin' hot.
627
00:24:56,189 --> 00:24:58,791
- I never even thought,
"should I get married?"
628
00:24:58,859 --> 00:25:00,759
Never a doubt
629
00:25:06,132 --> 00:25:08,968
I like to send
greeting cards to friends,
630
00:25:09,035 --> 00:25:10,669
family, people that have
been kind.
631
00:25:10,737 --> 00:25:13,539
I'll go out of my way
to be thankful
632
00:25:13,607 --> 00:25:15,507
and express gratitude.
Way out of her way.
633
00:25:15,575 --> 00:25:18,143
- In this box, I try to keep
a little bit of everything.
634
00:25:18,211 --> 00:25:20,079
This is a "sorry you have
a teenager" card.
635
00:25:20,146 --> 00:25:22,147
- St. Patrick's day card.
Get well card.
636
00:25:22,215 --> 00:25:23,582
I have a veteran's day card
in here.
637
00:25:23,650 --> 00:25:25,217
Special events at church.
638
00:25:25,285 --> 00:25:26,752
Mother's day.
Grandparents' day.
639
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:28,387
Christmas. Babies.
640
00:25:28,455 --> 00:25:31,123
Anything with a horse on it,
I save for my friend Kelly.
641
00:25:31,191 --> 00:25:35,594
- Wendy probably sends about
1,000 cards a year.
642
00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:37,930
1,000 cards a year?
643
00:25:37,998 --> 00:25:39,965
That's a sickness.
644
00:25:40,033 --> 00:25:42,501
Like, people will help her
in the grocery store,
645
00:25:42,569 --> 00:25:44,103
so she'll try to
track them down
646
00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:45,404
and write a thank you note
647
00:25:45,472 --> 00:25:48,607
- I can track down...
All kinds of people.
648
00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:51,076
I do that too.
649
00:25:51,144 --> 00:25:52,811
- "Thank you for a fun
conversation."
650
00:25:52,879 --> 00:25:55,047
- It's not like we have
fun conversations weekly."
651
00:25:55,115 --> 00:25:56,949
- And thank you notes
for thank you notes.
652
00:25:57,017 --> 00:25:58,651
- Once, a lady--
her dog died,
653
00:25:58,718 --> 00:25:59,985
and she was pretty upset
about it.
654
00:26:00,053 --> 00:26:02,354
So I just happened to have
a "sorry for the loss
655
00:26:02,422 --> 00:26:04,523
of your pet" card.
656
00:26:04,591 --> 00:26:06,926
Jade's card for being
potty trained. I'm mailing it.
657
00:26:06,993 --> 00:26:08,427
- For being potty trained?
- Yes.
658
00:26:08,495 --> 00:26:10,763
- Are you finding the cards,
and then finding the reason...
659
00:26:10,830 --> 00:26:11,931
- Sometimes, yes.
660
00:26:11,998 --> 00:26:13,465
This is where I keep
all my notes.
661
00:26:13,533 --> 00:26:15,434
Friends that I need
to write to.
662
00:26:15,502 --> 00:26:16,869
I just keep writing over.
663
00:26:16,937 --> 00:26:19,038
Don't write on your body
it's not good for it.
664
00:26:19,105 --> 00:26:21,006
- Last year,
I had two choices--
665
00:26:21,074 --> 00:26:23,175
either go to a restaurant,
or have a party.
666
00:26:23,243 --> 00:26:26,345
I chose going
to a restaurant because
667
00:26:26,413 --> 00:26:27,947
the bad thing
about having a party
668
00:26:28,014 --> 00:26:30,349
is the thank you cards.
669
00:26:30,417 --> 00:26:32,017
Usually, when I have invited
six people,
670
00:26:32,085 --> 00:26:35,321
I end up writing a total
of 12 cards.
671
00:26:35,388 --> 00:26:37,556
I don't know why.
672
00:26:37,624 --> 00:26:39,124
- I want the kids
to develop the habit
673
00:26:39,192 --> 00:26:40,426
or writing thank you notes.
674
00:26:40,493 --> 00:26:43,262
When do you say, "okay,
now you're so-and-so age--
675
00:26:43,330 --> 00:26:44,964
now is the time
to start writing notes"?
676
00:26:45,031 --> 00:26:46,598
Start from birth.
677
00:26:46,666 --> 00:26:48,400
Why not start
straight out of the chute?
678
00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:51,971
- Oh, that deserves
a little counseling.
679
00:26:52,038 --> 00:26:53,973
- Thank you notes is
her idea of fun,
680
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,009
but it's like an asylum
over here.
681
00:26:57,077 --> 00:27:01,380
[Cheers and applause]
682
00:27:01,448 --> 00:27:03,682
- So the issue here is
should we endorse
683
00:27:03,750 --> 00:27:06,585
the sport of
ultimate card writing?
684
00:27:06,653 --> 00:27:07,920
Panel?
685
00:27:07,988 --> 00:27:09,421
- Oh...God.
- Wow.
686
00:27:09,489 --> 00:27:12,157
Well, I mean,
in a way it's nice,
687
00:27:12,225 --> 00:27:14,727
'cause you don't--no one
mails things anymore.
688
00:27:14,794 --> 00:27:16,595
So it's kind of nice that
she's keeping up this tradition.
689
00:27:16,663 --> 00:27:17,830
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
- Courteous.
690
00:27:17,897 --> 00:27:19,498
I don't want to say
anything nice about her,
691
00:27:19,566 --> 00:27:22,434
'cause I don't want a thank you
note, you know, later.
692
00:27:22,502 --> 00:27:26,739
[Laughter]
693
00:27:26,806 --> 00:27:30,542
- She is so wild.
She is special right there.
694
00:27:30,610 --> 00:27:31,844
She needs her own show.
695
00:27:31,911 --> 00:27:34,179
"This fall,
on the gratituder...
696
00:27:34,247 --> 00:27:39,718
"Wendy will thank you.
You will be thanked!
697
00:27:39,786 --> 00:27:42,154
" The gratituder, on Wednesday!
698
00:27:42,222 --> 00:27:46,058
'Here. Thank you so much.'"
699
00:27:46,126 --> 00:27:47,760
- I'm speechless,
'cause I don't know--
700
00:27:47,827 --> 00:27:51,063
she's gonna have to really
pull one out of her hat
701
00:27:51,131 --> 00:27:53,999
to convince me she's not
out of her mind.
702
00:27:54,067 --> 00:27:55,701
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- Wait a minute?
703
00:27:55,769 --> 00:27:57,603
- She has a card for that.
- All right, Tom.
704
00:27:57,670 --> 00:27:59,138
- She's being too nice?
Is that the thing that she's--
705
00:27:59,205 --> 00:28:00,572
- I want to know,
is she gonna have her arm
706
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,275
with the marker on it for
formal occasions, such as this?
707
00:28:03,343 --> 00:28:05,044
Is she gonna come out
right now--
708
00:28:05,111 --> 00:28:06,445
- yeah, if she's run into
anybody, she's had to write--
709
00:28:06,513 --> 00:28:07,913
- I'm gonna tell her, "look,
you know what,
710
00:28:07,981 --> 00:28:10,916
everyone in this audience said
you were terrific.
711
00:28:10,984 --> 00:28:12,751
[Laughter]
712
00:28:12,819 --> 00:28:15,821
- No, I actually think
that this woman
713
00:28:15,889 --> 00:28:17,423
is not doing a bad--
714
00:28:17,490 --> 00:28:19,091
if you're gonna be
a little nutty,
715
00:28:19,159 --> 00:28:21,326
why not be nice nutty?
- Nice nutty. That's true.
716
00:28:21,394 --> 00:28:23,028
- She just sending love bombs
all around.
717
00:28:23,096 --> 00:28:25,531
- You know what,
I do think it's nice
718
00:28:25,598 --> 00:28:27,933
what she's doing,
but I feel bad for her kids
719
00:28:28,001 --> 00:28:29,568
to have that inflicted on them.
720
00:28:29,636 --> 00:28:31,036
- Yeah. Yeah.
721
00:28:31,104 --> 00:28:34,239
- I will admit I'm a little
concerned about the kid.
722
00:28:34,307 --> 00:28:36,642
- Yeah, look.
That's a fun time.
723
00:28:36,709 --> 00:28:38,644
What do you think
he's really writing?
724
00:28:38,711 --> 00:28:42,114
[Laughter]
725
00:28:42,182 --> 00:28:47,019
- I like the fact that
she can track anybody down.
726
00:28:47,087 --> 00:28:49,054
"Oh, I'll find you.
727
00:28:49,122 --> 00:28:51,557
And I'll thank you.
728
00:28:51,624 --> 00:28:53,759
"I can find people."
729
00:28:53,827 --> 00:28:56,228
- "You can run,
but I will thank you."
730
00:28:56,296 --> 00:29:00,199
- "Oh, I will thank you.
You betcha."
731
00:29:00,266 --> 00:29:02,234
And the, like, the kids,
like, from birth--
732
00:29:02,302 --> 00:29:03,368
she was, like, "from birth."
It's, like, really?
733
00:29:03,436 --> 00:29:04,570
Like, from birth?
734
00:29:04,637 --> 00:29:06,972
- No, she literally said
"out of the chute."
735
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,340
- Out of the chute.
736
00:29:08,408 --> 00:29:10,476
"Hey, doc, thanks for that smack
on the butt.
737
00:29:10,543 --> 00:29:13,812
Thanks so much."
738
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,747
"And for the guys
who circumcised me,
739
00:29:15,815 --> 00:29:20,719
not so much."
740
00:29:20,787 --> 00:29:22,821
- All right, listen,
she's doing it a lot.
741
00:29:22,889 --> 00:29:24,690
But what's wrong
with being nice?
742
00:29:24,757 --> 00:29:26,492
So what?
She's sending out cards.
743
00:29:26,559 --> 00:29:28,494
Who's getting hurt?
744
00:29:28,561 --> 00:29:30,262
- She needs to lower
her carbon footprint right now.
745
00:29:30,330 --> 00:29:32,531
- Yeah!
- Whoa. Interesting.
746
00:29:32,599 --> 00:29:34,533
- It's also pretty hard
on your tongue,
747
00:29:34,601 --> 00:29:36,902
licking all those stamps.
748
00:29:36,970 --> 00:29:38,704
She probably has
no taste buds left.
749
00:29:38,771 --> 00:29:39,771
- No one licks stamps anymore.
750
00:29:39,839 --> 00:29:41,807
You peel 'em off
and put 'em on.
751
00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:43,242
- Oh, yeah, that's true.
752
00:29:43,309 --> 00:29:45,544
- You got me again, Papa.
- The envelopes! The envelopes!
753
00:29:45,612 --> 00:29:46,812
- Listen,
we have to take a break.
754
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,380
[Laughter]
755
00:29:48,448 --> 00:29:51,083
But first,
I've learned something tonight,
756
00:29:51,151 --> 00:29:52,818
and I need to share.
757
00:29:52,886 --> 00:29:55,654
If it helps just one child,
it will be worth it.
758
00:29:55,722 --> 00:29:58,857
Remember, don't write
on your body.
759
00:29:58,925 --> 00:30:01,426
It's not good for it.
760
00:30:01,494 --> 00:30:03,462
The more you know.
761
00:30:03,530 --> 00:30:06,465
[Cheers and applause]
762
00:30:06,533 --> 00:30:08,767
We'll be right back.
763
00:30:08,835 --> 00:30:11,670
[Cheers and applause]
764
00:30:21,318 --> 00:30:22,752
- All right, welcome back.
765
00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:25,421
It's time to end the fight
about extreme thoughtfulness.
766
00:30:25,489 --> 00:30:27,757
Please welcome Kurt
and Wendy Green.
767
00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:31,194
[Cheers and applause]
768
00:30:38,068 --> 00:30:41,537
Wow. Thank you
for being here.
769
00:30:41,605 --> 00:30:43,506
I see you've got your arm--
770
00:30:43,574 --> 00:30:45,642
you've got...A lot--
- those are my notes.
771
00:30:45,709 --> 00:30:47,744
- Can I see? I've nev--
I want to see up close.
772
00:30:47,811 --> 00:30:50,747
Wow, that's a lot of people!
773
00:30:50,814 --> 00:30:52,415
- Does anyone ever think
that's a tattoo?
774
00:30:52,483 --> 00:30:53,883
- They do many times.
- Okay.
775
00:30:53,951 --> 00:30:55,618
- And then you're, like, "wow,
776
00:30:55,686 --> 00:30:58,554
that tattoo artist was blind."
777
00:30:58,622 --> 00:30:59,689
[Laughter]
778
00:30:59,757 --> 00:31:02,125
Or he was drunk or something.
779
00:31:02,192 --> 00:31:05,528
"Done!"
780
00:31:05,596 --> 00:31:06,796
- I forget about it
because it is my to-do list.
781
00:31:06,864 --> 00:31:08,197
I can't lose this.
782
00:31:08,265 --> 00:31:09,432
People say,
"there's paper, you know."
783
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,567
I lose paper.
I have six kids. I lose things.
784
00:31:11,635 --> 00:31:13,202
- How long you been doing this?
785
00:31:13,270 --> 00:31:15,538
- Many, many years.
- Really?
786
00:31:15,606 --> 00:31:17,373
- As long as I can remember.
Yeah.
787
00:31:17,441 --> 00:31:20,710
- Did you do it
right out of the chute?
788
00:31:20,778 --> 00:31:23,246
- My children have.
789
00:31:23,314 --> 00:31:25,081
- I have a question.
790
00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:28,151
When you guys were first
getting together,
791
00:31:28,218 --> 00:31:29,152
did you know about this
when you--
792
00:31:29,219 --> 00:31:30,253
- how many notes
did you receive
793
00:31:30,321 --> 00:31:33,022
as thank you
while you were dating?
794
00:31:33,090 --> 00:31:35,291
- I get, like--
she writes about 1,000 a year,
795
00:31:35,359 --> 00:31:36,526
and I get, like...
796
00:31:36,593 --> 00:31:37,794
- I write on the mirror for him
all the time.
797
00:31:37,861 --> 00:31:39,329
- Three.
Three or five a year.
798
00:31:39,396 --> 00:31:41,264
- I write on the mirror.
Do you want more?
799
00:31:41,332 --> 00:31:42,732
- No.
- I know.
800
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,401
- Because then I'm obligated
to return it.
801
00:31:45,469 --> 00:31:47,403
- He's thanked
in many great ways
802
00:31:47,471 --> 00:31:49,672
that he would not prefer
thank you--well--
803
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:51,641
- wow.
- That didn't--that didn't--
804
00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:53,910
- I think we're done here.
- Great.
805
00:31:53,977 --> 00:31:56,913
Swaying Joel McHale.
Swaying Joel McHale.
806
00:31:56,980 --> 00:31:58,014
- I didn't think
it was possible.
807
00:31:58,082 --> 00:31:59,582
- I'm a good wife in many ways.
808
00:31:59,650 --> 00:32:01,417
- She has a little reminder
of that right here.
809
00:32:01,485 --> 00:32:02,852
- "Remember when I did that?"
810
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,288
- I have to say,
when you watch the video,
811
00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:07,557
it's like, wow,
she might be a little wacky.
812
00:32:07,624 --> 00:32:10,760
But you're not wacky.
You are a very centered person.
813
00:32:10,828 --> 00:32:12,562
And you're just doing
this incredibly nice thing.
814
00:32:12,629 --> 00:32:13,763
What, do you think it's wacky?
815
00:32:13,831 --> 00:32:14,931
- He bought into it.
Hook, line, and sinker.
816
00:32:14,998 --> 00:32:17,433
She goes through, like,
emotional stuff.
817
00:32:17,501 --> 00:32:18,634
- It's called kindness.
818
00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:19,669
- "Oh, I did this
thank you note,
819
00:32:19,737 --> 00:32:21,404
and the guy died
the next day."
820
00:32:21,472 --> 00:32:23,339
- That happened a month ago.
821
00:32:23,407 --> 00:32:25,141
- You sent a note
to a dead person?
822
00:32:25,209 --> 00:32:27,944
- No. I felt prompted
to send a note
823
00:32:28,011 --> 00:32:30,213
for someone who took time
to visit with me.
824
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,348
The very next message I got
was that he passed away.
825
00:32:32,416 --> 00:32:34,450
And that's how it goes.
I do send some for things
826
00:32:34,518 --> 00:32:36,419
people might deem silly,
827
00:32:36,487 --> 00:32:38,354
but I'm in funeral director
school.
828
00:32:38,422 --> 00:32:39,422
- What?
829
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:40,623
- I always have read
the obituaries.
830
00:32:40,691 --> 00:32:41,724
Yeah.
831
00:32:41,792 --> 00:32:44,260
- So you killed him
with a knife!
832
00:32:44,328 --> 00:32:45,661
- I didn't.
- In fact, it's like--
833
00:32:45,729 --> 00:32:49,265
it's like clue.
834
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:52,001
- The black widow of kindness.
- There's a note.
835
00:32:52,069 --> 00:32:53,736
There's a note.
Wait a minute.
836
00:32:53,804 --> 00:32:57,306
She killed him with a sharpie
in the kitchen.
837
00:32:57,374 --> 00:32:59,242
- Thank you so much!
838
00:32:59,309 --> 00:33:00,710
- I get it.
839
00:33:00,778 --> 00:33:02,345
- So wait,
funeral director school?
840
00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:03,446
- I am in funeral
director school.
841
00:33:03,514 --> 00:33:05,047
I've always read
the obituaries.
842
00:33:05,115 --> 00:33:06,449
And now, if I see
someone I know,
843
00:33:06,517 --> 00:33:07,884
I will send a sympathy card
to them.
844
00:33:07,951 --> 00:33:09,218
- Oh, my gosh,
845
00:33:09,286 --> 00:33:11,654
they must just run screaming
when they get that.
846
00:33:11,722 --> 00:33:13,589
"Oh, no, I'm next!"
847
00:33:13,657 --> 00:33:15,958
- Oh...
848
00:33:16,026 --> 00:33:17,760
- You know what job
you should have
849
00:33:17,828 --> 00:33:19,829
when you get through
funeral director school?
850
00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:22,765
Just standing at the front
going, "thank you for coming.
851
00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:24,400
Thank you for coming."
852
00:33:24,468 --> 00:33:25,902
- Except embalming is
really cool.
853
00:33:25,969 --> 00:33:28,304
- Embalming is cool?
- It's a very cool process.
854
00:33:28,372 --> 00:33:30,773
- I'm trying to tell them
you're not crazy.
855
00:33:30,841 --> 00:33:32,275
[Laughter]
856
00:33:32,342 --> 00:33:34,277
Stay with me.
- It's a cool process!
857
00:33:34,344 --> 00:33:36,446
- Stay with me.
- Look it up. Look it up.
858
00:33:36,513 --> 00:33:39,048
- I think we're ready
to make the call here.
859
00:33:39,116 --> 00:33:40,750
I think we have heard enough.
860
00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:44,120
Who is right, Rachel,
husband or the wife?
861
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:48,324
- Okay, I'm gonna say
Wendy is right.
862
00:33:48,392 --> 00:33:50,293
- Rachel!
- Yes.
863
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,595
- Thank you.
- Why, rach--?
864
00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:53,830
- I'm sorry,
but it's because, yes,
865
00:33:53,897 --> 00:33:55,565
you might be extreme,
but it's a nice--
866
00:33:55,632 --> 00:33:57,066
you're extreme
about something nice.
867
00:33:57,134 --> 00:33:58,501
You're not hurting anyone.
868
00:33:58,569 --> 00:34:00,503
You're actually probably
making a lot of people's day.
869
00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:01,871
Except for your day.
870
00:34:01,939 --> 00:34:04,207
But...
- Oh, wait.
871
00:34:04,274 --> 00:34:06,709
She wrote a thank you note
to a friend
872
00:34:06,777 --> 00:34:08,911
for their conversation
on the phone.
873
00:34:08,979 --> 00:34:10,246
- It was a good one,
and it was rare.
874
00:34:10,314 --> 00:34:12,515
And I write while
I'm watching tv.
875
00:34:12,583 --> 00:34:14,217
It's not like I say,
"kids, don't talk to me.
876
00:34:14,284 --> 00:34:16,185
I'm writing my notes." It's
while I'm doing other things.
877
00:34:16,253 --> 00:34:17,453
- Good thing you said that
because now the people
878
00:34:17,521 --> 00:34:18,654
getting the notes know that
879
00:34:18,722 --> 00:34:20,957
you really weren't
paying attention to it.
880
00:34:21,024 --> 00:34:22,825
"Thanks..."
881
00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:25,661
- I can't do it all, Joel.
I can't do it all!
882
00:34:25,729 --> 00:34:28,231
- Joel, husband or the wife?
883
00:34:28,298 --> 00:34:31,267
- Well, Wendy,
I thought you were nuts
884
00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:32,535
when I first saw--
885
00:34:32,603 --> 00:34:34,437
especially when your eyes
would get so wide.
886
00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:35,771
I could see the whites of them.
887
00:34:35,839 --> 00:34:40,142
And then I thought--
I was only gonna say
888
00:34:40,210 --> 00:34:42,645
I'm definitely with Kurt.
889
00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:45,248
But then you said, "well,
I satisfy you in other ways."
890
00:34:45,315 --> 00:34:47,316
And then, of course,
being a guy, it was, like,
891
00:34:47,384 --> 00:34:49,085
"oh, I'm on her side now."
892
00:34:49,152 --> 00:34:51,487
- Thank you.
- Great. Whatever. To die for.
893
00:34:51,555 --> 00:34:53,923
All great.
894
00:34:53,991 --> 00:34:57,727
But as I think about it,
um, yeah--
895
00:34:57,794 --> 00:35:01,364
you're...Just crazy, and...
896
00:35:01,431 --> 00:35:03,299
- Crazy nice. Hello?
897
00:35:03,367 --> 00:35:05,668
- I mean, why do your kids
have to write two notes
898
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:07,970
for one party to the same--
- he is exaggerating.
899
00:35:08,038 --> 00:35:10,673
- No, he's not.
- They do not. They do one note.
900
00:35:10,741 --> 00:35:12,208
- Your child was exaggerating?
901
00:35:12,276 --> 00:35:14,410
So you're saying
your kid was a liar?
902
00:35:14,478 --> 00:35:16,879
- He was exagg--
he's a storyteller.
903
00:35:16,947 --> 00:35:18,748
One note for each gift.
904
00:35:18,815 --> 00:35:21,551
If there are two gifts,
two notes. Two family members.
905
00:35:21,618 --> 00:35:24,754
But one gift--one gift--
906
00:35:24,821 --> 00:35:28,024
- oh, my lord,
I am on Kurt's side.
907
00:35:28,091 --> 00:35:30,293
- Thank you.
- Oh, I mean...
908
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,495
- Thank you!
909
00:35:32,563 --> 00:35:36,666
Please, someone help
rein in the sanity!
910
00:35:36,733 --> 00:35:37,733
- This is gonna sound horrible,
911
00:35:37,801 --> 00:35:39,669
but I hope your hand breaks,
912
00:35:39,736 --> 00:35:44,073
just so you can see--
just have a few--just a--
913
00:35:44,141 --> 00:35:46,242
what's going on now?
- I can write with my toes.
914
00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:49,111
- Oh, great...Yeah...
915
00:35:49,179 --> 00:35:52,081
- But children--do you have
your children write notes?
916
00:35:52,149 --> 00:35:56,018
- No way ever, now.
Just in case. Never.
917
00:35:56,086 --> 00:35:58,054
Oh, no, no.
918
00:35:58,121 --> 00:35:59,221
- All right, so we have
one for Kurt
919
00:35:59,289 --> 00:36:00,957
and one for Wendy.
920
00:36:01,024 --> 00:36:02,725
Who is right, the husband
or the wife,
921
00:36:02,793 --> 00:36:04,560
Cedric The Entertainer?
922
00:36:04,628 --> 00:36:06,629
- Do you want 15 notes?
923
00:36:06,697 --> 00:36:08,464
Think about this.
924
00:36:08,532 --> 00:36:10,132
- I'm still, you know--
925
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,635
I thought she was crazy
right off the top,
926
00:36:12,703 --> 00:36:14,203
when I first saw it.
927
00:36:14,271 --> 00:36:16,305
You know, Kurt, I get you...
928
00:36:16,373 --> 00:36:19,442
But tell me this--this whole
you can track anybody down
929
00:36:19,509 --> 00:36:21,344
and just thank people...
930
00:36:21,411 --> 00:36:23,579
That really alarmed me
when you were, like,
931
00:36:23,647 --> 00:36:25,881
"I can find people!"
932
00:36:25,949 --> 00:36:27,516
- I'm a reporter.
I'm a reporter. It's easy.
933
00:36:27,584 --> 00:36:28,918
- And so you'll just
thank people.
934
00:36:28,986 --> 00:36:31,821
They have no idea they are
getting a thank you note.
935
00:36:31,888 --> 00:36:34,090
It's just like some kind of
spy-sniper thank you person.
936
00:36:34,157 --> 00:36:35,858
- Note to a manager,
never a person.
937
00:36:35,926 --> 00:36:37,193
- It's scary.
- Yeah, it is scary.
938
00:36:37,260 --> 00:36:39,295
- They love it.
- Wendy--
939
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:40,563
- final decision,
Cedric The Entertainer.
940
00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:42,999
- I'm with Kurt. I'm with Kurt.
- With Kurt!
941
00:36:43,066 --> 00:36:46,168
- Yes!
- Kurt! Congratulations, Kurt.
942
00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:49,038
They've decided
that you are right.
943
00:36:49,106 --> 00:36:51,073
And you are in the running
to see if you are
944
00:36:51,141 --> 00:36:52,675
the rightest of the night,
945
00:36:52,743 --> 00:36:56,646
where you would receive
$25,000 and your own billboard
946
00:36:56,713 --> 00:36:58,848
that will not say
"thank you" on it.
947
00:36:58,915 --> 00:37:00,182
- Maybe that's what he needs.
948
00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:02,351
- Say thank you
to the Greens, everybody.
949
00:37:02,419 --> 00:37:06,155
Thank you so much, guys.
- Thank you.
950
00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:08,591
- Now, everybody, get ready,
because when we come back,
951
00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:10,860
the audience is gonna choose
who is the rightest
952
00:37:10,927 --> 00:37:11,961
of the right.
953
00:37:12,029 --> 00:37:13,462
We'll be right back.
954
00:37:13,530 --> 00:37:15,765
[Cheers and applause]
955
00:37:15,832 --> 00:37:17,533
- Coming up...
956
00:37:17,601 --> 00:37:19,368
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I implore you,
957
00:37:19,436 --> 00:37:22,538
let's stop the insanity.
958
00:37:22,606 --> 00:37:25,875
- Who will walk away
with $25,000
959
00:37:25,942 --> 00:37:28,911
- I hope that billboard
is just, like...[Hisses].
960
00:37:28,979 --> 00:37:29,912
[Laughter]
961
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:31,814
- Find out who's the rightest,
962
00:37:31,882 --> 00:37:34,517
and see the real billboard
in the winner's hometown
963
00:37:34,584 --> 00:37:36,152
when we come back.
964
00:37:44,749 --> 00:37:46,517
- All right, we're back
with tonight's finalists,
965
00:37:46,584 --> 00:37:49,019
and they're all hoping to be
the rightest of the right,
966
00:37:49,087 --> 00:37:50,921
and the winner of $25,000
967
00:37:50,989 --> 00:37:52,890
and their very own billboard.
968
00:37:52,958 --> 00:37:54,925
Here's a quick reminder
of the arguments
969
00:37:54,993 --> 00:37:56,126
they've won tonight.
970
00:37:56,194 --> 00:37:59,096
Donna Winslow
and the runaway closet.
971
00:37:59,164 --> 00:38:00,664
- How many pair of earrings
you got?
972
00:38:00,732 --> 00:38:01,999
- I don't know.
I don't count my stuff!
973
00:38:02,067 --> 00:38:03,367
- You got 1,400.
974
00:38:03,435 --> 00:38:04,935
Most of the time, you're
a pretty decent person
975
00:38:05,003 --> 00:38:06,070
and what have you.
976
00:38:06,137 --> 00:38:07,604
But when it comes
to these clothes,
977
00:38:07,672 --> 00:38:10,074
you're kinda out of line.
978
00:38:10,141 --> 00:38:12,443
- Donna, why are you
the rightest?
979
00:38:12,510 --> 00:38:15,546
- Because I don't think
that he has a right,
980
00:38:15,613 --> 00:38:16,914
or anyone has a right
to tell me
981
00:38:16,982 --> 00:38:19,717
how many clothes I can have,
or what I should wear,
982
00:38:19,784 --> 00:38:21,652
or what I should give away,
and when.
983
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:25,089
- I know you feel that way.
- I do. I do.
984
00:38:25,156 --> 00:38:27,324
- Poor Dan.
- I know.
985
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:32,396
- Bernadette Daniele
with the food rationing.
986
00:38:32,464 --> 00:38:34,164
- It's insane that you're
writing on food!
987
00:38:34,232 --> 00:38:36,100
- No, it's insane that
you people are wasteful.
988
00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:37,968
- You need to get a hobby.
989
00:38:38,036 --> 00:38:40,104
[Cheers and applause]
990
00:38:40,171 --> 00:38:42,306
- Bernadette, why do you think
you are the rightest?
991
00:38:42,374 --> 00:38:44,975
- Because I shouldn't have to
come home and be told
992
00:38:45,043 --> 00:38:47,277
what food I can use,
and what food I can't use.
993
00:38:47,345 --> 00:38:49,580
And I shouldn't be rationed
on my laundry detergent
994
00:38:49,647 --> 00:38:52,016
or any other food product
in the house.
995
00:38:52,083 --> 00:38:53,384
- I hear you.
And I also feel
996
00:38:53,451 --> 00:38:55,052
you're very hungry.
997
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,854
[Laughter]
998
00:38:56,921 --> 00:39:00,858
And Kurt Green with
the nonstop card factory.
999
00:39:00,925 --> 00:39:03,193
- When do you say, "okay,
now you're so-and-so age.
1000
00:39:03,261 --> 00:39:04,828
Now's the time
to start writing notes"?
1001
00:39:04,896 --> 00:39:06,463
Start from birth.
1002
00:39:06,531 --> 00:39:09,333
Why not start
straight out of the chute?
1003
00:39:09,401 --> 00:39:11,835
- Kurt, why are you right?
1004
00:39:11,903 --> 00:39:13,904
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I implore you,
1005
00:39:13,972 --> 00:39:15,939
let's stop the insanity!
1006
00:39:16,007 --> 00:39:17,574
It has to end!
1007
00:39:17,642 --> 00:39:20,110
- All right, audience, you heard
from the three of them.
1008
00:39:20,178 --> 00:39:24,848
Vote now who you think
is the rightest of the right.
1009
00:39:24,916 --> 00:39:26,650
Now, you guys aren't voting,
1010
00:39:26,718 --> 00:39:28,352
but which way to you think
it's gonna go?
1011
00:39:28,420 --> 00:39:29,920
Cedric?
1012
00:39:29,988 --> 00:39:32,956
- Oh, you know, I think
Donna is the rightest.
1013
00:39:33,024 --> 00:39:34,191
- You think Donna's
the rightest.
1014
00:39:34,259 --> 00:39:37,127
- She's changed already.
I mean, come on, man.
1015
00:39:37,195 --> 00:39:38,629
- Well, that is
a different outfit.
1016
00:39:38,696 --> 00:39:40,064
- A totally different outfit.
- I totally didn't notice.
1017
00:39:40,131 --> 00:39:42,332
- With the bling chain.
Come on, I'm so being--
1018
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,168
you know, I just can't wait
to see their poster
1019
00:39:44,235 --> 00:39:47,538
in Apache Junction--
that's the whole--
1020
00:39:47,605 --> 00:39:50,507
- see her up on the billboard.
- The bling chain right there.
1021
00:39:50,575 --> 00:39:52,776
- I think maybe Bernadette
because
1022
00:39:52,844 --> 00:39:55,479
think of all the cheese
she could buy.
1023
00:39:55,547 --> 00:39:58,549
[Laughter]
1024
00:39:58,616 --> 00:40:00,184
- I hope that billboard is her
1025
00:40:00,251 --> 00:40:04,354
with just open containers
of half-used food,
1026
00:40:04,422 --> 00:40:07,057
and her just, like...
[Hisses]
1027
00:40:07,125 --> 00:40:10,060
That's my hope. That's my hope.
- Okay.
1028
00:40:10,128 --> 00:40:12,463
The results are in,
and it's time to find out
1029
00:40:12,530 --> 00:40:14,465
who will be the rightest.
1030
00:40:14,532 --> 00:40:17,034
In third place,
with the fewest votes,
1031
00:40:17,102 --> 00:40:22,106
not the winner of $25,000
or their own billboard,
1032
00:40:22,173 --> 00:40:24,441
Donna Winslow.
1033
00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:25,676
[Mild applause]
1034
00:40:25,743 --> 00:40:27,344
Thank you, Donna.
1035
00:40:27,412 --> 00:40:28,378
- Thank you, Donna.
- Thank you, Donna.
1036
00:40:28,446 --> 00:40:29,480
- You look great.
- Thank you.
1037
00:40:29,547 --> 00:40:33,917
- I think she should
change again.
1038
00:40:33,985 --> 00:40:35,552
- And now we're down to Kurt
and Bernadette.
1039
00:40:35,620 --> 00:40:38,455
And the rightest
of the right is...
1040
00:40:38,523 --> 00:40:43,427
[Drum roll]
1041
00:40:43,495 --> 00:40:45,562
Bernadette Daniele, everybody!
1042
00:40:45,630 --> 00:40:47,764
You win!
[Cheers and applause]
1043
00:40:47,832 --> 00:40:50,033
Congratulations!
1044
00:40:50,101 --> 00:40:52,836
$25,000.
1045
00:40:52,904 --> 00:40:55,305
Let's bring out
Mr. Daniele.
1046
00:40:55,373 --> 00:40:58,041
- Don't give 'em a dime!
1047
00:40:58,109 --> 00:41:00,777
- All right...
- You gonna stop now?
1048
00:41:00,845 --> 00:41:04,281
- No.
- Mr. Daniele...
1049
00:41:04,349 --> 00:41:07,618
Mr. Daniele,
let's hear you say it.
1050
00:41:07,685 --> 00:41:10,254
- You were right.
- Yes!
1051
00:41:10,321 --> 00:41:11,555
- That's great.
1052
00:41:11,623 --> 00:41:14,825
And here's what your billboard
is gonna say.
1053
00:41:14,893 --> 00:41:16,960
[Laughter]
1054
00:41:17,028 --> 00:41:19,463
[Cheers and applause]
1055
00:41:19,531 --> 00:41:21,331
We'd like to thank
our panel--Joel McHale...
1056
00:41:21,399 --> 00:41:24,334
Rachel Dratch,
and Cedric The Entertainer.
1057
00:41:24,402 --> 00:41:27,337
Captioning by captionmax
www.Captionmax.Com
1058
00:41:31,342 --> 00:41:33,610
- [laughing]
1059
00:41:33,678 --> 00:41:38,982
I always knew I was right,
but this finally proves it.
1060
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:43,420
I won. Cheese!
1061
00:41:43,488 --> 00:41:45,455
Whoo!
1062
00:41:45,523 --> 00:41:47,090
- All couples tonight
will receive
1063
00:41:47,158 --> 00:41:48,492
a six-night
second honeymoon
1064
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,861
with spa treatments at
the St. James's Club, Antigua,
1065
00:41:50,929 --> 00:41:52,663
in the new royal suites.
1066
00:41:52,730 --> 00:41:54,998
Airfare furnished by Orbitz.
1067
00:41:55,066 --> 00:41:58,001
[Cheers and applause]
1068
00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:10,180
- Keep fighting, America.
1069
00:42:10,248 --> 00:42:13,684
We'll see you next week.
Thank you.
1070
00:42:14,836 --> 00:42:17,636
Sync and corrections by Gatto
for www.addi7ed.com