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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Run, Leela!
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They're bouncing right at us.
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So, anybody hungry?
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I could stuff myself.
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I'll use that free app
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that tells
what restaurants you're near.
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You mean the window?
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Yes.
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I am lrrr, ruler
of the planet Omicron Persei 8!
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I demand extra dipping sauce!
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How many?
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I don't know. Two?
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Welcome to Fishy Joe's.
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Today is Stroganoff Thursday.
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We are currently out
of the following menu items.
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Robotic voice:
Stroganoff.
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May I take your order?
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I'll have the Stroganoff.
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Okay.
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Yeah, uh, give me
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the fried spaghetti-dinner
breakfast pocket for lunch,
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and a big bucket
of mixed sodas.
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One kids' meal.
Got it.
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Leela:
Huh. Buggalo tots?
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What exactly
are those made out of?
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You got a warrant?
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I'll just have something
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from the lite menu.
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How about the
gardener-lover's salad?
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What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
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Ugh! Just give me the fruit cup.
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Okeydoke.
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What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
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Oh, God.
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Fruit is spelled f-r-o-o-t.
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And it's got quotation marks
around it.
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Mmm. There's nothing wrong
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with a little fast food
once or twice a meal.
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Heart... at-tack.
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I'm fine.
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Oh! I got a bone in my fruit!
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That's it.
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From now on,
we're not eating anything
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unless we know what it is
and where it's from.
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We're going
to the local farmers market.
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Aw, mom, do we have to?
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This is what I'm talking about.
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See all the dirt and earwigs?
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That's the sign
of healthy food.
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You think that's healthy,
try this.
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I found it growing
at the bottom of my hamper.
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Mmm, so fresh and musty.
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It's what I do.
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Hello, tiny man.
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You want sample small-batch
Amazonian maple syrup?
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Sure.
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Mm. Ah!
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That's the kind of sap I like.
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You the kind
of sap I like.
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I'm scare-roused.
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Zuban tobacco?!
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The richest, most
obnoxious kind!
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Listen, pal, I'm looking
for a versatile smoke,
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one that's equally good
in a crowded elevator
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or an audience with the pope.
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Forget the pope, my friend.
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Smoke one of these,
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and God himself will ask
to be seated far away from you.
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Ooh!
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Heirloom eggs?
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That's so life-affirming.
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I'll bet you run
your own hatchery,
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just you and your wife...
Matilda.
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No, ma'am. Matilda and I gather
them eggs in the forest.
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And Matilda's really more
of a mongoose than a wife.
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You're a lucky man.
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But are they way more expensive
than regular eggs?
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Way more.
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Ooh! I'll take a dozen.
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What?
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You're not my breakfast friends.
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What are you doing here?
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Leela blackmailed us all into
eating healthy, organic food.
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Blackmail? What
does she have on you?
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As long as we eat
her filthy scrambled eggs,
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you'll never find out.
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They're not filthy.
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They're wholesome, fertile
and fresh from the forest floor.
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There's some filth.
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"Fertile"? What does that mean?
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It means it will hatch
into a tiny, little,
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infant creature unless
we cook it first.
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Hey, Leela, hurry up
with those scrambled infants.
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What?! That's horrifying!
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Zoidberg,
you're an inhuman monster.
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What are you, my
driver's license?
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Eating a sweet innocent chick
before it's even hatched?
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Oh, no, you won'tn't!
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I refuse to eat
an unborn animal.
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I'm going to keep this egg safe
and warm and secure
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until it hatches out
into the world.
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And then I'm going to eat it.
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♪ ♪
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Should we turn on the TV?
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Nah.
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Bender, do you mind?
I'm roosting.
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I'm considering buying a yacht
to house my thoroughbreds.
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How do you expect me to do that
without smoking a cigar?
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Think of the unborn embryo.
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That's what
I'm gonna call the yacht.
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Hey!
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Leggo my eggo, crabbo!
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Stop it, Fry.
That's sexual harassment.
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Yeah, come down off your
round, white pulpit.
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You're just going to
eat that thing anyway.
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I was, but you can't
sit on something
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for a week without falling
in love with it.
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Whoever's in here
deserves a chance at life.
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A chance to blossom
into a beautiful young man,
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like I did as a baby.
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And so I make this solemn vow.
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To do everything I can
to make sure
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this wonderful,
innocent creature
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enters this world happy,
healthy, and...
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All yours, Zoidberg.
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Aw, look at the cute little...
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Aah!
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I was gonna go yachting
in those feet!
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Relax, you babies.
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It's no different
from stomping a puppy.
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Everyone, stop!
He's not going to hurt you.
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I'm standing in a pool
of my own feet.
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Bender's right. Kill it
before someone names it!
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No! Mr. Peppy just wants
to be our friend.
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Oy. Look, I know he's ugly,
and kind of corrosive,
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but we can't murder someone
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just 'cause he's
hideous and annoying.
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That's what we said
about Zoidberg,
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and look where that got us.
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Amy has a point.
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Mr. Peppy's not
like Zoidberg.
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He's my friend.
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Aw...
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Where to, adulterers?
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Calculon?! Then it
wasn't your body
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they found in the harbor
after the bomb went off.
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What bomb?
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It takes more than that
to surprise me... Bender.
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What you doing, little buddy?
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Uh, yeah, Uncle Bender--
he's your friend.
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Huh?
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Oh, you want to play fetch.
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Come on, boy, get the ball.
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Dumb jerk.
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00:09:05,943 --> 00:09:07,344
Come on, get the ball.
160
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,150
Sweet freak of Mozambique,
that thing's colossal!
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It's gonna kill us all.
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It's so huge.
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How big does one
of those things get?
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Well, that depends on what
one of those things is.
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That seems like a
fact worth knowing.
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Good startling news, everyone.
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I found a description
of the creature
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in this medieval
monster manual.
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Just as I feared.
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Attack-type J.
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No! No!
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Yes! It kills its prey
by sucking out the skeleton,
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leaving nothing
but a puddle of flesh.
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All:
Ew!
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Hence, the Latin name
Bonus Vampirus,
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or as you non-catholics
would say, the Bone Vampire.
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Dios mio.
178
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,100
That's ridiculous!
179
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:05,935
Mr. Peppy doesn't eat bones.
180
00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:09,205
I raised him on a simple diet of
brussels sprouts and mixed soda.
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At least there's
only one of them.
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00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:15,111
The good news is, they
can't start breeding.
183
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:19,616
The bad news, everyone, is,
the beast reproduces asexually.
184
00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:23,353
A single bone vampire,
left alone with some quiet music
185
00:10:23,421 --> 00:10:25,922
and some bone vampire porn,
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could produce dozens
of deadly offspring.
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That lucky bastard.
188
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I say kill it!
189
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But it loves me, and I love it!
190
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Kill them both!
191
00:10:34,598 --> 00:10:36,332
Killing them seems
like a hassle.
192
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,902
Can't we just set it free
to live with its own kind?
193
00:10:38,969 --> 00:10:41,571
Poor, ignorant Leela.
194
00:10:41,639 --> 00:10:45,074
The bone vampire is now extinct
on its home planet.
195
00:10:45,142 --> 00:10:46,910
That's perfect.
196
00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:50,580
We can reintroduce it to the
wild and repopulate the species.
197
00:10:50,648 --> 00:10:53,283
Yeah, let's do
those Leela things.
198
00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:08,064
Well, buddy,
how do you like your new home?
199
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,935
See, he's happy already.
200
00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,937
That thing doesn't have
emotions, Fry.
201
00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:16,072
Its brain is the size
of a walnut.
202
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,908
So are walnuts, and
they're delicious.
203
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,549
I'll miss you, Mr. Peppy,
but you'll be happier here.
204
00:11:26,617 --> 00:11:29,519
So go on, go.
205
00:11:29,587 --> 00:11:32,388
G-good-bye, Mr. Peppy.
206
00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:35,158
Come on, man, don't do this.
207
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,160
Go on now.
208
00:11:37,228 --> 00:11:40,396
I mean it, don't make this
any harder than it has to be.
209
00:11:40,464 --> 00:11:42,131
It's time to let go.
210
00:11:42,199 --> 00:11:43,933
Ow!
211
00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:48,771
Thanks, Leela, he just needed
a little extra push.
212
00:11:55,412 --> 00:11:58,147
Come on, Fry, let's go home and
(Beeping)
213
00:11:58,215 --> 00:12:01,217
Hold up, there's alcohol
around here somewhere.
214
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,953
My tanqueraydar is going crazy.
215
00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,356
Aha!
216
00:12:06,423 --> 00:12:08,525
Thought you could get
away from me, huh?
217
00:12:08,592 --> 00:12:11,494
You lose again,
you stupid intoxicant.
218
00:12:18,035 --> 00:12:19,736
♪ ♪
219
00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:27,510
We're not from around here.
220
00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:29,279
Hello.
221
00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:32,615
Airwhilka maur fleegle
bingo drooper snrk!
222
00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:35,051
Excuse me, but we're guests
on your planet.
223
00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:36,419
Speak English!
224
00:12:36,487 --> 00:12:37,921
Man:
Behave yourselves, gents.
225
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:41,057
Offworlders best be
welcome here,
226
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:43,793
especially if we're trying
to get the Olympics.
227
00:12:47,264 --> 00:12:49,065
May I buy you a drink?
228
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:52,035
We don't get a lot
of pretty faces around here.
229
00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:55,071
Uh, sure,
but I'm driving.
230
00:12:55,139 --> 00:12:57,340
I'll just have the smallest
whiskey you've got.
231
00:12:57,408 --> 00:13:00,343
A small aquarium of whiskey
for the busty lass.
232
00:13:02,079 --> 00:13:03,546
Thanks. I suppose
I should know your name
233
00:13:03,614 --> 00:13:04,948
if I'm going to be drinking
234
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,950
ten gallons
of alcohol with you.
235
00:13:07,017 --> 00:13:08,117
Maczongo.
236
00:13:08,185 --> 00:13:09,819
Angus Maczongo.
237
00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:12,021
Major Angus Maczongo.
238
00:13:12,089 --> 00:13:15,892
Handsome Major Angus Maczongo,
Esquire.
239
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,995
Ooh, handsome and Esquire.
240
00:13:19,063 --> 00:13:20,263
I'm Turanga Leela.
241
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:23,600
My crew and I are from Earth.
242
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:26,469
So what brings you folks
here to Doohan 6?
243
00:13:26,537 --> 00:13:29,105
We just released an endangered
animal back into the wild--
244
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:30,840
a bone vampire.
245
00:13:35,279 --> 00:13:36,980
No need to thank us.
246
00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:39,549
Your shocked stares of gratitude
say it all.
247
00:13:39,617 --> 00:13:43,319
Dear God, you brought
back the bone vampire?!
248
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:44,787
The damned things wreaked
bloody havoc
249
00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:47,090
on our livestock for centuries.
250
00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:49,325
Aye, until Maczongo here
shot 'em all
251
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,194
into extinction, he did.
252
00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:54,597
Now we've got more livestock
than we can slaughter.
253
00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:58,334
Oh, aye, 'tis a Bonnie time
to be an ignorant villager.
254
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:02,038
We kinna have no murdering
bone vampires back here.
255
00:14:02,106 --> 00:14:04,273
Kill it afore it puts a bun
in its own oven
256
00:14:04,341 --> 00:14:06,409
and repopulates
the bleeding planet.
257
00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:08,378
No!
Angus is right.
258
00:14:08,445 --> 00:14:10,213
I thought you were named Angus.
259
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,848
We're all named Angus.
260
00:14:11,915 --> 00:14:14,350
Please, Mr. Peppy won't attack
your livestock.
261
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:17,453
He's a vegetarian, and he's
not even preachy about it.
262
00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:19,389
Poppycock.
263
00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:21,324
Once he gets the smell of bones,
there'll be no stopping him.
264
00:14:21,392 --> 00:14:25,361
Tonight, Mr. Peppy must die.
265
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:28,331
Angus, wait, my strictly
platonic friend is right.
266
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:31,134
At least wait a few days
before you decide to kill it.
267
00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,269
The last time I hesitated,
268
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,772
a bone vampire snicked out
me left shin.
269
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,410
Please, just a few days.
270
00:14:40,477 --> 00:14:42,545
Well, 'twould give us a chance
271
00:14:42,613 --> 00:14:44,113
to get to know each other.
272
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,317
The beast lives... for now.
273
00:14:48,385 --> 00:14:49,919
Thank you, Angus.
274
00:14:49,987 --> 00:14:51,287
All:
You're welcome!
275
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,931
I don't trust that Maczongo.
276
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:03,900
Maybe I should go keep
an eye on Mr. Peppy.
277
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:05,768
Don't worry about Maczongo.
278
00:15:05,836 --> 00:15:07,437
He and I are having
brunch tomorrow.
279
00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:09,806
I'm thinking of wearing this.
280
00:15:09,873 --> 00:15:11,908
It's nice, but there's
still something
281
00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:13,843
I don't like about that guy.
282
00:15:13,911 --> 00:15:16,179
My dad always said you could
tell a lot about a man
283
00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:18,815
by the rigidity of his shins.
284
00:15:27,124 --> 00:15:28,191
What is it?
285
00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:36,299
Lang a muir a Gryffindor-
Slytherin hufflepuff!
286
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,501
It killed little Angus!
287
00:15:38,569 --> 00:15:41,003
They're all dead, and
their bones are gone.
288
00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:44,107
This was no accident.
289
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:47,110
Still think your Mr. Peppy
is harmless, Fry?
290
00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:48,811
He wouldn't do this
in our sleep.
291
00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:51,280
He would not,
could not to a sheep.
292
00:15:51,348 --> 00:15:52,448
The deal is off.
293
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,217
The beast must die.
294
00:15:58,355 --> 00:16:01,891
Ooh, pimpy.
295
00:16:04,928 --> 00:16:06,596
What are we supposed to do,
296
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:08,898
just sit here and wait
for Mr. Peppy to be killed?
297
00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:11,174
Sounds like a plan.
298
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:14,764
Guess I'll pass the time
by lighting up an El Jerko.
299
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,815
Okay, that's it.
300
00:16:25,883 --> 00:16:27,650
I need some air.
301
00:16:33,602 --> 00:16:35,115
Who's there?
302
00:16:37,032 --> 00:16:39,994
Hermes, is this one
of your zany practical jokes?
303
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:53,947
Leela, are you okay?
304
00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:55,782
Did you drink too many aquaria?
305
00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:58,094
Look, the bone vampire.
306
00:17:02,123 --> 00:17:03,990
Mr. Peppy attacked me.
307
00:17:04,058 --> 00:17:05,525
Quick, count my bones.
308
00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:07,460
There should be 205.
309
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,001
Okay, that's better.
310
00:17:15,069 --> 00:17:16,670
Keep 'em coming.
311
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,038
I'm sorry, Fry,
312
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:21,107
but no vegetarian
could have done this.
313
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:26,046
I know, and as much as I love
Mr. Peppy, I love Leela more.
314
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,582
He has to be
..Put down.
315
00:17:28,649 --> 00:17:30,116
Aw, don't feel bad.
316
00:17:30,184 --> 00:17:33,053
Major Maczongo
is an experienced hunter.
317
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,590
He'll blow Mr. Peppy's head off
as painlessly as possible.
318
00:17:36,657 --> 00:17:38,258
No, not Maczongo.
319
00:17:38,326 --> 00:17:42,028
If anyone is going to kill
Mr. Peppy, it should be me.
320
00:17:42,096 --> 00:17:44,130
Fry, I know you're
upset right now,
321
00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:46,766
but I hope you'll
consider donating
322
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,902
the body to science dinner.
323
00:17:53,174 --> 00:17:55,008
Fry:
Here, Mr. Peppy.
324
00:17:55,076 --> 00:17:57,544
Mmm, lovely bones.
325
00:17:57,612 --> 00:17:58,945
We've been walking for hours.
326
00:17:59,013 --> 00:18:01,081
I hope we can find
our way back.
327
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,550
Don't worry, I left
a trail of bread crumbs.
328
00:18:03,618 --> 00:18:07,554
And I left a trail of cigars.
329
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:11,124
You don't have to do this, Fry.
330
00:18:11,192 --> 00:18:13,827
Mr. Peppy just gave me
a little love concussion.
331
00:18:13,894 --> 00:18:16,062
Thanks, Leela, but
I have no choice.
332
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:19,032
I can't let my monstrous
deboner get anywhere near you.
333
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,500
There it is!
334
00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:24,804
Well, this is it.
335
00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:26,573
You guys wait here.
(Sniffs)
336
00:18:26,641 --> 00:18:30,443
This is going to kill him
more than it does me.
337
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,047
Good-bye, boy.
338
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,016
I'll think of you whenever I sit
on something round.
339
00:18:43,324 --> 00:18:46,493
What's happening?
Did you kill it?
340
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,795
Maczongo:
The bloody idiot bloody shot me.
341
00:18:48,863 --> 00:18:50,430
I'm all bloody bloody!
342
00:18:51,899 --> 00:18:53,033
Mr. Peppy,
343
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,734
bullets make you talk?
344
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:56,903
That's not Mr. Peppy.
345
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,775
Jinkies, he Scooby-Dooed us.
346
00:19:01,842 --> 00:19:04,477
Why, Major Maczongo, why?
347
00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:08,481
Oh, it's been 30 years since
last I killed a bone vampire.
348
00:19:08,549 --> 00:19:11,251
The villagers dinna idolize me
like they used to.
349
00:19:11,319 --> 00:19:13,553
You seemed pretty popular
at the pub.
350
00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:15,889
I work there as a greeter.
351
00:19:15,956 --> 00:19:18,491
Your beast was my chance
to be a hero again,
352
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,493
but the damn thing
was a vegetarian,
353
00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:22,462
so I slaughtered
the sheep myself.
354
00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:24,197
But why did you attack me?
355
00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:25,598
So I could impress you
356
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,133
by seeking revenge
on the creature.
357
00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:29,569
Us greeters don't
get a lot of action.
358
00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:32,038
On paper it seemed like
a win-win situation.
359
00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:34,574
Do you realize
what this means, Fry?
360
00:19:34,642 --> 00:19:37,243
Your pet's not dangerous
after all.
361
00:19:37,311 --> 00:19:40,613
I told you Mr. Peppy's
a lover, not a fighter,
362
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:43,516
like Dwayne "The Rock"
"The Tooth Fairy" Johnson.
363
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,357
Hey, what's
that bone-sucking sound?
364
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,594
Fry:
It's Mr. Peppy.
365
00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,262
I'd know him anywhere.
366
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:58,531
Huh, so apparently
Major Maczongo
367
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:01,568
and Mr. Peppy were each doing
about half the sheep-killing.
368
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:08,641
Why, Mr. Peppy, why?
369
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:09,843
Ooh, that tickles.
370
00:20:12,613 --> 00:20:14,647
Now I really do have
to kill you.
371
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:17,083
Wait,
372
00:20:17,151 --> 00:20:18,251
don't shoot.
373
00:20:18,319 --> 00:20:19,986
The beast is a godsend.
374
00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:21,921
Like I said,
we've more livestock
375
00:20:21,989 --> 00:20:23,723
than we can slaughter,
376
00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:26,159
but thanks
to this ravenous bogle,
377
00:20:26,227 --> 00:20:27,861
that's nae more a problem.
378
00:20:27,928 --> 00:20:29,262
Angus is right.
379
00:20:29,330 --> 00:20:31,731
The cursed thing
even debones 'em,
380
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:35,201
which is perfect for today's
fast-paced, lazy consumer.
381
00:20:35,269 --> 00:20:38,625
Dersu uzala yojimbo,
rashomon!
382
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,274
The beast must live!
383
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,235
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
384
00:20:43,401 --> 00:20:44,644
You know what the best part is?
385
00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:46,646
From now on,
whenever we're eating
386
00:20:46,714 --> 00:20:48,748
fresh, organic space-meat,
387
00:20:48,816 --> 00:20:51,351
we'll know exactly
where it comes from.
388
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,353
Fry:
One bucket of
389
00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:56,856
double-fried, triple-salted,
boneless sheep tots, please.
390
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,558
What kind of cheese filling
you want in that?
391
00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:00,593
All kinds.
392
00:21:00,661 --> 00:21:02,095
Eh, make it two,
393
00:21:03,085 --> 00:21:05,466
and a small whiskey. Large.