(Train whistle)
(Coughs and retches)
(Irish accent) Oh, you're up, are you?
Well...I'll have to charge you for the two days.
- Who the hell are you? - Mister, it's just the rent I want.
- Where is this? - Listen, fella.
- Either you pay... - This place...what is it?
Pay, get a good kicking or I send for the police.
Which one do you want? You must think I'm fresh out of the bog.
Stop! Come back here. Stop!
Hello.
- Good evening, Megan. - Good evening.
Mrs Straker's coming in tonight.
- Really? Past her bedtime. - Wants to see us in action.
- You? - Ha ha. Is Ted coming to the party?
He thinks he'll be too tired, but I'm working on it.
- Dr Tomlinson, Judy Chambers' file. - Evening, Mary.
- How is it with you two? - He's not happy me being on nights.
Well, I'm glad you're here anyway. How's our new doctor doing?
Fine. Coming along. A bit nervous, but efficient.
- Dr Tomlinson, I presume? - That's right. Busy?
The odd plague and famine. Nothing we can't handle.
Hello.
Sorry. This is Cyril and Karen - the two new student nurses.
It's their first time in Casualty.
- Ewart Plimmer, Casualty consultant. - And all-round wonderful man. Sorry.
- Welcome aboard. - (Charlie) I hate that clichÃ©.
I know. That's why I said it.
He had all his own hair and teeth when he started.
Terrifying, isn't it?
It's just he hit me so hard, Doctor. I thought it might have gone internal.
Yes. I don't think there's anything to worry about.
He's such an evil swine, Doctor. He goes mad when he's had a few.
Anyway, I told him, "That's it. I'm not having you back. We're finished."
- Yes, yes. - Ken will tell you. Ken? Tell her.
Oh. Yeah. Evil swine.
Vicious. Mad, he is. Drink, you know.
Violent. Anyway, I changed the locks now so he can't get back.
Ken's gonna... He's a neighbour. He just came in with me to make sure.
It's just like that rat to be waiting for me when I get back.
Yes. Good. So as I say, take some paracetamol or aspirin for the pain,
but don't worry about the bruising.
- It'll go down? - Yes. In a couple of days.
Right. Well, ta very much, Doctor.
It's just I was worried about me inside, me womb.
- Cos he's such an evil... - Yes, yes.
I understand. Goodbye.
- Come on, Ken. - Thank you, Doctor.
Right.
Julie Taylor and Ken the good neighbour?
- How is she? - Socially inadequate, physically fine.
- She was bad last week. - Yes, I'm sure she was.
Er, Dr Tomlinson's new too.
Is it ready yet, the flat?
I hope so. It's taken about a week. Is Ted going to come?
I don't know. Actually, he'll be phoning in shortly, will you try and persuade him?
- I will. - Would you? Good girl.
Lucy Cammack, please? Is that you? Come with me, please.
Dr Tomlinson...what's her name?
- Blimey, I've forgotten. - Mary.
- Right. What do you think of her? - Snotty.
No, she's just efficient. It would be a bit much if you didn't invite her.
- Hm. I suppose so. - Cheer up. We did win. We are open.
Oi. You haven't moved it, have you? The barrel?
- No. - Come on, Oliver Reed.
See you about eight o'clock then.
- And don't move... - The barrel. Yes.
(* Faint pop)
A little bit.
- What about there? - No.
- What about there? Is that painful? - No.
Nurse?
- Um... Do you have a boyfriend? - Yeah.
- A regular boyfriend? - Yeah.
- And do you sleep with him? - Yeah.
- Nobody else? - No. No.
- How long have you both been...? - About two years.
And you've been incontinent...?
How long have you had difficulty controlling your pee?
About six months.
Right. Nurse, can I have a swab, please?
I'm just going to take a little look to make sure everything's OK.
Beep beep.
Excuse me.
Ah-ah!
I'll have that off you in a sec.
I have some magic liquid that will dissolve the glue...
(Mary) Do you take any precautions when you have sex?
(Sniggers)
- Do you use anything? - No, we don't.
- Do you want to get pregnant? - Excuse me for a second.
Good. Good. Put your legs down.
- Sorry. - It's all right. I've finished.
Right, Lucy. I won't be a sec.
Lucy Cammack. Came in with an incontinent bladder.
16 years old, been having sex with the same boyfriend for two years.
She's incontinent because she's been having sex through her urethra.
(Megan gasps) Oh, no.
I told him, "You daren't drop me cos you know your head will roll."
- He can't do it, can he? - Can I have a drink, please?
Right.
Holland was going to blow the gaff.
- Serious? - I was there.
Holland says to him, "Up yours, up your team and up your stinking club."
- You can read about it in the papers. - Blimey.
- Bell's. - We only got Teacher's or malt.
- Teacher's. Whatever. - Double?
- Yeah, yeah. - Blimey, I thought I had it bad.
- How much is that? - Â£1 .40.
Right. I'm off. Here, lend us your car.
- I'll be back at two. - All right.
I had to get tanked up enough to face the old breadknife.
- You what? - Wife.
Oh, right. Thought you and her had knocked it on the head.
We have. Still want that though, don't they? See you, lads.
Is...is that today's paper?
- Yeah. - Thursday's?
- What you on about? - Thursday. Today.
You've had enough, mate. Today's Friday.
Excuse me?
C-c-can you tell me what city I'm in, please?
- 1066. - You were saying?
- Do you know what that means? - Battle of Hastings.
I'm serious. Do you know what a specific gravity of 1066 means?
- It's strong beer. - It's lethal.
I can't see the attraction of beer that sends you comatose after two pints.
- It won't take a couple of pints, love. - (Radio ) 3002 from Control.
3002. Go ahead, Control.
Emergency for you at 7 Wavercroft Avenue, Shardings.
A man with head injuries and suspected broken ribs. Police in attendance.
(Megan) Come on, Ted. Someone will give you a lift there.
- Is there a Gerald Bryant...? - That's me.
- Did you want me? - I'm having a flat-warming at eight.
To celebrate the night shift. You're welcome to come.
- I'll see. - Suit yourself.
- I didn't sleep today. I'm very tired. - OK. Fine.
- I said I'll see. Right now I'm busy. - Goodbye.
Where might I find Mr Plimmer?
- I'll let him know you've arrived. - No, thank you.
He's in his office.
Why don't you invite her to the party? Kuba?
- X-ray, please. Now. - OK.
(Megan) Mrs Straker's gone up to see Ewart.
Do either of you believe in the efficacy of prayer?
- You what? - You're mad.
- Want to come to a party? - Yeah.
Mrs Straker. What a pleasant surprise.
- I did ring. - Oh. Well, let me show you round.
OK, Mr Bryant, would you lie back for me?
Thank you.
- I like drinking. - Well, drinking doesn't like you.
Eh?
- And you're married, right? - Yeah.
What does she think?
What do you think she thinks?
Open.
- Do you have any children? - No.
- You're still married, right? - Yeah.
- Why do you drink, Mr Bryant? - I don't know.
To get where you are, you must have an idea.
I'm drinking to forget.
- To forget what? - Quarter to three.
I'm trying to help you. You are sick. So please don't waste my time.
- Sorry. Five past ten. - Look...
The amount of alcohol you've had I can only guess at...
Women.
- What did you say? - Women.
A woman. Why does anybody drink cos of a woman, you stupid...
Lean forward, please.
What woman? Your wife?
No.
I was in love with her.
- All right. - (He vomits)
(* Radio playing Elton John: Act of War)
* You'd better think twice
* You'd better believe it's an act of war
* We're living on the front line, you and me
* Fighting on this battleground... *
(Radio off)
- Did your wife know? - Oh, yeah.
I told her. Told her I were gonna leave.
Melanie, the woman I were in love with, she told her husband.
What happened?
- He were a mate. A good mate. - Oh.
Left footed, Catholic.
Wouldn't divorce her. Just wouldn't.
I see.
Topped himself. Put his head under a train.
- When was this? - Six year ago.
What happened to Melanie?
She moved.
- Where to? - I don't know.
I haven't found her yet.
(Siren wails)
(Rowdy shouting)
Got it? The boys are out tonight.
- Frank! - Oi! Oi!
(Indistinct shouting)
- Oh, get off my leg! - Serves you right.
Are you ever going to come round sober?
140 quid a week? Very funny.
- Drunken pig! - Shut up, you stupid cow.
(Woman) I hope you die! And if you don't die, I'll kill you!
- Get out of it! - Shut up, you stupid woman.
- Get off me! - Calm down and get in there.
Just shut up!
Thank you.
You've no idea how you got there?
I'll ring round. Manchester, was it?
- Yeah. - Thank you.
Could you get some parentrovite IV?
- I'll need the medical reg to come down. - Sure.
- And make sure he gets taken to X-ray. - Yeah. OK.
I'm just going to lie you flat, Mr Bryant.
I don't even remember leaving Manchester. I just woke up.
There were all these railway lines.
Try to keep calm, Mr Bryant.
Aagh!
That's your liver - what's left of it.
Right.
Your blood pressure is high.
Once we've checked your head, I'll give you something.
Drink helped.
If you really think that, there's nothing I can do for you.
I'm telling you now, as a doctor, that you have to stop.
Stop what?
Trying to drink yourself into the Guinness Book of Records.
Mr Bryant, you're an alcoholic.
(* Loud pop music on radio)
Please inform Holby A&E that our ETA will be 12 minutes.
- 3002 out. - (Tyres screech)
- Be careful, love. - Sorry, Andrew. Some jerk in a Jag.
Every consultant I speak to believes that his is the only pressing need
in the whole of the NHS.
No. What I object to is waste of money.
Look what's been spent in here. Why?
You have an observation ward...
With only four beds when I made it plain that eight was the minimum.
I have a new office I didn't ask for.
Your staffing levels are as good as any similar unit in the Authority.
Comparisons are odious.
As General Manager of this hospital,
it is my job to decide where financial savings are to be made.
I'd be most surprised if any consultant stayed within their budget.
You're not unique. You're not even unusual.
You're predictable. You say people will die...
- (Phone rings) - Excuse me.
Stabbing due in ten minutes.
- Thanks. I'll be right there. - Every consultant...
They may be dying sooner than you think. Care to see?
- Lucy. - Have my results come through?
- Yes. - What is it?
- You're clear. - No. It can't be.
You're not pregnant, Lucy.
- It's all right. I understand. - No, you don't.
I do. Do you know how many girls we have in here worrying about that?
The result's wrong. I want to be pregnant.
It's natural that you want to have children, but there's plenty of time.
- But I wanted to get pregnant. - You're what? 16, is it?
Yeah.
You've loads of time to have a family.
Leave me alone.
- I'd tell that to any girl of your age. - I don't care.
- Lucy. - Go away.
Stay and talk about this for a couple of minutes. Please?
- Have a cup of tea and talk. - I want to have a baby.
Lucy...
- Has she discharged herself? - She's gone.
She shouldn't have. She's in trouble.
She's been having sex for two years and she's still a virgin.
Holby Control to Holby Casualty.
Thanks very much.
Your head's in one piece, Mr Bryant. How do you feel?
I won't say I could do with a drink, but I could.
Right. The doctor thinks you ought to stay in tonight. OK?
Yeah. Right.
Maybe you'll be able to travel tomorrow.
Yeah. Thanks.
- Do you want to stop drinking? - I suppose so, yeah.
Because if you don't work things out, you're going to die.
And sooner rather than later.
(Megan) Excuse me, Dr Tomlinson.
We have a stabbing and a man with head and chest injuries coming in.
OK. I'll be back to see you later.
Can you take Mr Bryant to the Obs Ward? Bye.
Bye-bye.
(Man sings drunkenly)
(Police radio hisses)
(Siren wails)
It has been mayhem.
Shut up, you. I've got a stab wound here - chest and abdomen.
Wait, Miss Taylor. We'll see how your mates are getting on.
- Fracture radius and ulna. - OK. I'll take the stab wound first.
Oh, Doctor! Doctor! Didn't I tell you that pig would be waiting?
- Don't worry. I'll be right back. - What about Ken?
- Not the animal! Let the pig die! - Give it a rest.
Listen, mate. I'll tell you something. If that animal comes out of here alive,
I'm gonna do him and do it properly this time!
That's not a promise, that's a threat!
You're in enough trouble as it is, now shut up!
- You're hurting my arm. - Excuse me.
I'll report you.
- OK, Mr Bryant. - Thanks.
- I've got no pyjamas or anything. - It's all right. We can get you some.
- What a palaver, eh? - Oh, well.
Look, this place is for sick people, i'n't it?
I just need a good kip. Couldn't you put us up in a bed and breakfast?
No.
I don't suppose there's any place I can get a drink?
Mr Bryant, drink is what got you here. You need to dry out.
- Don't you understand? - You're thick.
(* Loud pop music on radio)
(Siren wails)
You can naff off and all.
(Siren wails)
- No! - (Brakes squeal)
(Siren wails)
There. You're all right. Just try and relax.
You're all right. Take a few deep breaths.
(Andy) Bloody maniacs out there. Every one of them.
Careful, Ewart. He threw a few before they put him in the ambulance.
Ken and Julie. There's a choice example of warmth and humanity.
- Why were they in the same vehicle? - No other ambulance available.
- You got a Betadine pad? - Yeah.
- (Groans) - Sorry.
Carving knife. Eight inches.
- I feel fine. - We'll see about that.
- Wait here. - Get your hands off me, you animal!
What did you say? Behave yourself.
Holby Control to Holby Casualty.
- Where do you think you're going? - Get off! I ain't done nothing!
Ain't done nothing? It's time you realised the seriousness of the situation.
- If your friend Frank dies... - Frank?!
If Frank dies, Mr Baker could well be being tried for murder
and you could face charges as an accessory.
Holby Casualty standing by.
- Charlie? Another one in. - A high time in the old town tonight.
RTA due in ten minutes. I'll get Resus Two ready.
- How are we doing? - I'll be all right here.
Can you ask Mr Plimmer to look at Mr Baker?
Sure. Cyril, can I have you in the crash room?
- Sure you'll be all right? - Yeah. Fine.
So Miss Taylor locked the door on you both?
He busted the bathroom window and was waiting behind the settee.
She got all frightened when he come at us.
- He hit us with a claw hammer. - On your head?
Aye. Oh...
That's when I pulled out the knife what I had concealed.
- I see. - I got at him.
I done him in the chest.
I ain't a young man. He's 20 years younger than me.
Right.
Then he tried to hammer the knife out of my hand.
- When he'd done that, he ran off. - But the ambulance had arrived?
Yeah. He was there when they carried me in.
Then that copper, he says,
"This the bloke what done it?"
When I said yeah, he said, "Right, mate, you're nicked."
- What's your name? - Cyril.
OK. Get this to Haematology.
I want six units cross-matched.
Sorry, Mrs Straker. Take a breather.
No. I'm all right.
Anyway, this bloke Frank - he kicked him across...
- (Charlie) Oh, sorry. - Let's have another.
- Are you all right here? - Yeah.
(Andy) Watch that glass.
- Oh. - It's catching. What's going on?
(Andy) Anyway, this bloke is Miss Taylor's ex.
She changes the locks because he's a drunk and he beats her up.
She reckons he rapes her as well.
- She comes home one day... - Excuse me. I'm sorry.
What did I say?
Excuse me.
Staff, could you give me a hand?
(Sobs)
- Excuse me? - You were in here earlier on tonight.
- What's up? - Never mind.
- I know, but Ken weren't. - He was with you.
- I know, but he weren't ill. - Tell her what she wants to know.
- Do you reckon he's dead? - Woman, you are sick.
- Susie, you seen Duffy? - She ran into the toilet crying.
What for? Why is Duffy crying?
I don't know. Something's upset her. Have a look. No one's in there.
Go into ladies' toilet?
- It's not a joke? - Sandra?
- I'll go. - Wait.
I come with you.
- What's up with him? - Nothing. Eastern bloc.
- Right. Now... - (Phone rings)
Duffy, what's the matter?
Duffy, if someone has hurt you, tell me.
Someone has said something? Something cruel?
Duffy, what is it? Say.
- It's him. The man in crash. It's him. - What?
- Kuba, please go outside for a minute. - What?
- Please! - Kuba, just wait outside a second.
- Please. - OK.
Who is he?
It's the man who attacked me.
Oh, Duffy.
Last year on Easter Steps.
Oh, Duffy. I'm sorry.
Oh, Sandra.
It's all right.
What do you think?
Me neither.
There's an RTA on the way in 15 minutes. It's a man with head injuries.
- We know. - Oh, sorry.
- Come and meet it with me. - No rest for the wicked.
You'll need a pair of roller skates then.
Mary wants you to take a look at Mr Baker.
Right. There's something the matter with Duffy. She ran out of here.
- I think you should speak to her. - OK.
Can you stay and help Cyril to clean up here?
- Yeah. OK. - Mrs Straker?
- We'll go this way. - What's the matter with you?
I made a right cock-up. Bumped into Charlie, dropped blood on the floor.
- So? Forget it. - Forget it?
- We're like a couple of old spares. - Oh.
Now who's a spare?
- So where is she? - Staff room. A bit upset.
- Charlie, where's Nurse Duffin? - The staff room.
When I asked her to do something, she totally ignored me.
- I see. - You ought to have a word with her.
I think this is a nursing problem and I'll decide what has to be done.
Susie, let us hope the party is very good.
Yeah.
Um... It's the man who attacked me on Easter Steps last year.
- What's happened to him? - He's gone to theatre.
Is he going to come through, do you think?
Ewart doesn't think so. I'd agree with him.
- Do you want to knock off? - Eh?
Oh, no, no.
Look, I've got to be going.
- Are you sure you're all right? - Yeah. I'll be fine.
- It was just a shock. - Yeah. You take care and...
Listen, take your time about what you want to do.
- Yeah, yeah. - OK.
Thanks, Sandra.
Oh, Charlie, can you believe it?
I cut his clothes off.
- Will you tell the police? - I don't know.
- You'll have to tell them soon. - Oh, thanks!
I've spent a whole year trying to get over it.
I'm even doing self-defence classes
so I don't feel terrified when I walk down the street and you want me...
I'm sorry. You do what you have to do, all right?
- All right? - Yeah.
- I'll get a taxi, get you home. - Oh, no. No, not tonight.
I've spent all week doing Susie's flat up. I'm not doing that for nothing.
And I bought a new frock.
The RTA's in crash and there's a BID Ponting wants you to certify.
Right. Megan, can you get Mr Baker up to X-ray?
Karen, can you and Cyril help Charlie in crash?
- Skull, chest and right leg. - OK. Ah, porter.
Four X-rays at Â£15 a throw. One patient.
I find that rather a cheap remark.
It's a cheap service. Care for more gore?
- What's a BID? - Brought In Dead.
- We'll just get you on the trolley. - It's like Piccadilly Circus.
At least there's nothing waiting.
- That's it. - What happened to him?
Bounced off a girl, smashed into a car.
Driving a Jag without a seatbelt.
Can you remember what happened? Can you hear anything?
- Yeah. I can hear everything. - Good. You're doing well.
- Well done. - Can you straighten your arm?
Can you feel pain other than in your face and neck?
- What neck? - (Charlie) Neck seems fine.
(Duffy) His pulse is 100 and his BP is 120 over 70.
- Shall we get a line in? - Yeah. Good idea.
- Have you been drinking? - I never touch the stuff.
Right.
(Duffy) Cyril, can you get me an obs chart?
- You know who this is, don't you? - No, who?
Tommy Harper. Half a million quid's worth of footballer.
- Are my legs all right? - Mm-hm.
- How's the girl? - Shh.
You be quiet. Worry about yourself.
Have they brought in the girl?
Excuse me. I think I need some air.
I don't believe this.
OK. Relax.
Thank you, Sandra.
We found some identity on her. Apparently she was here earlier on.
Thought she might be pregnant. No chance of that now.
- No. - Finished?
- Yeah. - We'll take her to the mortuary.
Right. Bye.
Er, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean you to see her.
- Are you feeling all right? - It's OK. I'll be all right.
- You must be very tired. - I am.
You're the first administrator I've met
who was prepared to argue her case at 1 1 at night.
- Haven't you got a home to go to? - I'm divorced. Er, I mean...
- I think perhaps I'll go. - I'll walk you to your car.
My receptionist is having a party tomorrow, you could drop in.
What?
A house-warming, starts at eight o'clock. Could be fun.
You're going to a party at eight in the morning? After that?
I don't suppose I'll stay for more than an hour. It won't go on for long.
Good night.
I thought it'd be a good idea to meet my staff out of hours.
Mr Plimmer, you are unbelievable.
I'll speak to you tomorrow. I have to be in at nine.
Oh, yes. Sleep well.
We'll talk when you're less busy.
Busy? Mrs Straker...
That wasn't busy.
- Do you want to take a break? - Oh, yes, please.
- How is he? - No change really.
Gerald.
Hello. We must try to relax, Gerald.
Try to relax, will you?
The doctor's coming shortly, Gerald.
Just try to relax, will you, please?
(Strangled screaming)
I hear you're busy. What's happening?
Half of Holby's sloshed tonight. Baker's back from X-ray.
- And you've got a star in. - That's the half I'm talking about.
He's in a ward. He's got too much booze in him to go to surgery.
And the alky's had an attack of the DT's -
Wants us to send for Rentokil.
You know Harper killed a young girl?
I've just sent her to the mortuary.
You know what really galls me is that with the surgery in this place,
Harper will end up looking as good as new.
He'll go in front of a magistrate who'll ban him from driving for a few years
and fine him Â£200 - which is less than a week's wages to him.
In a couple of months he'll be back on the first team.
Excuse me. I have to go and be violent for a bit.
- Mary settling in all right? - Huh!
Oh, well.
- Better? - Yes.
- No more creepy-crawlies? - No.
What is it, this stuff you're giving us?
Heminevrin. It's very good.
Miracle cure.
There's no miracle cure for what you've got.
We've had a girl brought in dead tonight, killed by a drunken driver.
A bloke who'll probably die
from getting in a fight whilst drunk. And you...
- The others are past help. You're not. - Oh, aye.
Listen to me.
Stop deceiving yourself.
You have a physical and mental disease that'll end up killing you
as dead as anything else in the mortuary.
You are sick through drink. You are an alcoholic. So stop.
Stop, you get better. Carry on, you drop dead.
- Not someone else come in? - No.
- Deserted. - Thank God for that.
- What's the matter with you now? - I'm knackered.
If it's like this every night, I'll be on a trolley.
Yeah? I thought it was really quiet.
- You did? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no. Cyril! Cyril, don't!
(Screams and laughs)
Cyril!
Oops!
It's engaged. Sorry.
That depression needs elevating.
Keep doing the neuro obs and I'll get the registrar at St Martin's.
Susie will arrange transport. Fractured arm and cracked ribs.
- (Phone rings) - Casualty.
Right. I'd better be off. I'll be back first thing.
Sorry I can't stay, but I gotta go.
Be back in the morning, Ken.
I've gotta go and feed the cat.
Someone else will have to look after your cat. Come with me.
(Indistinct shouting)
And they are rolling on the floor.
- What, the student nurses? - Yeah. Cyril and Karen.
- Much passion there, I think. - You cheeky devil.
Love, Susie, its immense splendour take.
Eh?
It's all right. Calm down.
Nurse? Sorry...what's your name?
- Francine. - Francine.
Francine, am I an alcoholic?
Yes.
An alcoholic?
Yes.
Dr Tomlinson. For you.
Oh. Thank you.
Mary? Sorry. Ewart wants a word. He's in his office.
Right. Thanks.
He's dead.
You want to go to a party?
Yeah.
Nobody told me.
- You wouldn't want people to know. - No, I realise that.
You should appreciate how difficult it is for me to walk in on a set-up like this.
I don't know anyone here. They're a tight-knit group. It's my first night.
Fair enough. Anyway, that's why she behaved like she did.
- Forget it now. Incident closed. - Sure. Thank you.
So how was your first night?
Oh. Er, it was...interesting.
(Whispers)
Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up.
- It's all right. - Feeling a bit groggy?
Yeah, just a bit.
It'll wear off once you're up.
I've slept on what you said.
Good. And?
I want to give it a go. Yeah.
- What do I do? - Well...
As soon as you get home, go to your GP and he'll get you admitted to hospital.
They'll help with detoxification and counselling.
It's pointless lying any more, Mr Bryant. Especially to your wife.
Right. Ta.
- Good luck. - Thanks. Thank you very much.
Go on, get back to sleep.
- (Doorbell) - (Loud pop music drowns them out)
- Why? - What?
- Why? - Whoo!
(* The Pet Shop Boys: Suburbia)
- Are you glad you came? - I'll let you know in an hour.
And no more moans about nights.
- Not if they all end up like this. - Ted.
Look, I like them too, so if you want to stay it's all right by me.
Oh, you're a pet.
Nice one.
- I brought some wine. - Wine? That garbage. Come here.
- Have some of this. - Where's mine?
- Plonk for the plonker.
I'm very happy. I'm very happy.
- You're not going? - Just checking on Sam.
- All right. - Susie!
Hey!
- All right? Hello. - All right?
- Where's Cyril? - In the other room.
- Not you as well. - Sorry.
Oh, no. It's the law.
Can I speak to the occupier, please?
- You on duty? - No.
- What do you want? - A beer, ta.
- Why aren't you drinking? - Later.
- I've got two glasses. Two glasses. - I'll just have one drink.
- Where's your husband? - In there.
- He lets you out of his sight? - No, he doesn't. That's my son.
You're not old enough to have a son.
Oh, that's what they call cockney charm, is it?
- I think she likes you. - Yeah.
A Polish toast, Mr Plimmer.
Cheers... No, no, no, no, no. Like this.
One, two, three...
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Try it.
One, two, three...
Good, good! Wonderful!
- How do you feel? - So-so.
- You still thinking about it? - Yeah.
Sure it was him?
It's taken me long enough to try and forget. You know he died in surgery?
Yeah.
Have some of Ted's cider. That'll make you forget anything.
(Indistinct singing)
(Cuckoo)
- You Megan's wife? - No, I'm her husband.
She says I could try your cider.
Cider! Whoo!
Come on!
Are my breasts too small?
Oh, no.
- Mary! Hello. - Nothing like a quiet morning.
- This is nothing like a quiet morning. - Do you want a drink?
- What have you got? - Everything. Hi.
- Dr Tomlinson! - Good God.
- Evening, Mary. Sorry...morning. - Hello.
Silly man.
It's the only way I can stop him pouring vodka down me.
(Toasts in Polish)
What's a nice London Irish-Catholic girl like yourself doing here?
- Charlie! - Oh, forget him.
He's sweet.
- Why aren't you drinking? - Absent friends.
- Friends? - Friend.
Is Ewart all right? Ewart - is he all right?
Yeah. Course he is. He's relaxing.
Not a little bit of Pole?
- No. - I think so.
Not in Sunderland, no. No Poles in Roker.
- No Russian? - Russian?
Way-aye. Lots of Russian boat-builders studying in Sunderland, like, ya know.
Pardon?
Drunk driving. It's about the only thing that still gets to me.
What a bummer. It's a bummer.
- The guy with the, er... - The footballer.
- Harper, yeah. - But you're not driving.
No.
Hey, Charlie boy! What, no Baz?
- No, no Baz. - Why is that then?
She's up in London and it's none of your effing business.
Aye. She's done a bunk.
You know what I mean. Plenty more fish in the sea.
You are!
- Karen! You tried the cider? - No.
Don't.
(Susie) Who put a kipper behind the radiator?
- Is there enough to drink? - Plenty.
- What time do you want it to finish? - Duffy, shut up.
Don't look at me like that.
Why are medical parties always mad?
You're a third year student and you don't know that?
Like Marlon Brando said at the end of Apocalypse Now,
- "The horror!" - The horror!
- Joseph Conrad. - What?
Joseph Conrad - The Heart of Darkness.
It's the greatest of his books. "The horror, the horror!"
- Yes. - It would be.
- Oh, Mr Plimmer. - Yes, my dear.
- I want you to dance. - Me?
Thank you, no. I'm an important member of the NHS.
Morning, Mr Plimmer.
(Siren wails)
Hey, ambulance!
It's one of ours!
- I'm going home, Kuba. - Oh, Mary...
Bye-bye. See you tomorrow.
* Here we go Here we go, here we go, here we go
* Here we go! *
(Vomiting)
Getting to know your staff?