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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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Mom on deck!
Ten...
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All right, grunts,
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here's your
pre-mission pep talk.
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Shoot anyone
who doesn't obey hard enough.
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But...
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Stop gaining
knowledge, Hubert.
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It's a simple mission.
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The grunts catch the alien,
the surgeon guts it,
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and you smuggle
the poison parts back here.
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Uh, something
about poison, got it.
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By the way, that surgeon--
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where is he?
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You! Where's the butcher?
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Ma'am, I don't know, ma'am.
His duffel bag arrived.
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It's not a duffel bag.
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It's my apartment!
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Hubert, meet John Zoidberg.
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You need an alien
hacked to pieces,
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he's the best there is...
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in the budget category.
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Have you ever dissected
a yeti before?
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Himalayan or Neptunian?
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Tritonian.
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A Tritonian yeti?
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You two aren't up
to anything unethical,
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- are you?
- Relax.
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There's nothing unethical
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about covert
biological weapons research.
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I said relax!
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Ah, Zoidberg, we've
known each other so long
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that sometimes I don't
think we even need words
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to understand
each other.
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What?
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Once and for all, Fry,
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even though it's the future,
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most objects
are still just objects,
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not aliens who
look like objects.
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So my efforts to establish
diplomatic relations
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with the Cactus People
were doomed from the start.
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So you're in pain
and have a bunch of needles?
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I prescribe acupuncture.
Let's begin.
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Blood?!
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I mean... blood.
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Put it back in me!
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I'm afraid Fry lost
a lot of juice.
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He's developed
Simpson's Jaundice.
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Ay carumba.
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His only hope
is some replacement liver.
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Yours looks like a good match.
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Well, if it'll help Fry...
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Careful, Leela!
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He knows less about
human anatomy than I do.
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And I can't even
find my own uterus.
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You may feel a slight sawing.
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And all we need
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is a little spine supplement
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to replace what Leela lost
in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
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It wasn't unavoidable.
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You just had to stop
cutting my spine
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when I yelled "Stop,
you're cutting my spine!"
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Quit complaining.
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My body rejected your liver,
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and now I've got
Garfield Syndrome.
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Oh, I hate Mondays.
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Anyhow, Hermes,
all Leela needs
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is one of your vertebrae.
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But Doctor, will I be able
to limbo afterwards?
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Could you limbo before?
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Wait.
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I say, "Yes,"
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and you say,
"I couldn't limbo before."
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You ruined
the joke, Hermes.
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There you go, Leela.
Good as new!
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Whoa. Whoa...
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Oh, sure, Leela's fine,
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but my jaundice has progressed
to Muppet Gangrene!
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It's not easy being gangrenous.
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I thought you were only gonna
take out one vertebra!
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Yeah, but did
you ever play Jenga?
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Sometimes you pull one and...
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You don't know what you're doing!
I want my back back!
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Hmm. What started out
as a pleasant afternoon
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of drugs and surgery
has not gone as planned.
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But don't worry, we still have
three or four co-workers
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with plenty of spare parts.
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My first mission.
I'm so excited.
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And after I dissect
the yeti's poison glands,
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we can stop, maybe,
for ice cream on the way back?
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With shprinkles on?
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Why, you're just a big kid,
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aren't you, Zoidberg?
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A very big kid.
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We're over the drop
zone, gentlemen.
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Might I suggest you jump out
the door and poop yourselves?
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So anyway, I hope the
men have been taking
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their hypermalaria pills.
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Their wha--?
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Their "wha--"?
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That's funny,
like a crazy old man.
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00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:37,619
But you know
what's not funny?
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Deadly Tritonian
hypermalaria.
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Just be sure to stay out
of the methane swamps.
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What smells like methane?
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My God.
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I've never seen such
a gruesome shark attack.
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Especially this
far inland.
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It wasn't a shark.
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It was an awful,
incompetent doctor.
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Wow, he must've been
a total Zoidberg.
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It was Zoidberg.
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He brutalized us
with power tools,
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gypsy curses and hypnosis.
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Yes, master.
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You'll all get
through this.
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I give you my word
as a real doctor.
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What about me?
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What did he do to you?
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I don't know
exactly, but
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I'm incontinent.
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I'm truly sorry.
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I consider myself
a reasonable man.
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Quick with a joke,
slow to anger.
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But Bender can't go
on long car trips anymore,
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and I say Zoidberg must die.
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People, please.
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Let's not overreact.
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Death to the crab.
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How bad is it, Doctor?
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Super bad.
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It's Tritonian
hypermalaria.
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A lot of these men will
be dead within 24 hours.
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What?!
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Not you, though.
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You'll make a complete recovery
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and go on to marry a supermodel!
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Funny plague,
hypermalaria.
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It can kill immediately,
or lie dormant for decades.
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But sooner or later,
it erupts,
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causing fever,
spasms, madness,
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coma,
and finally death.
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What?!
Supermodel!
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Oh, those poor,
doomed bastards.
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I guess it's up to me
to complete the mission.
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I'll be in the swamp, blowing
the smirk off a toxic yeti.
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Professor, we need
to talk, man-to-mob.
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We've had it
with Zoidberg!
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We demand you fire him!
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Nonsense.
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Zoidberg's a fine physician,
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for aliens.
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Your mistake is being humans.
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No, if I'm going to fire anyone,
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it'll be Scruffy.
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You can't do that!
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Over my dead body!
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Don't you get
it, old man?
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Thanks to Dr. Scissorhands,
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I wet myself every
time I laugh.
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It's not funny!
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00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:04,815
Well, I guess
it is kind of funny.
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Uh-oh.
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Why are you protecting
Zoidberg, Professor?
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Do you owe him
something?
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Is he blackmailing you
somehow?
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What does he
have on you?
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Why have you kept him
around all these years
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when he's so grossly
incompetent?
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Long ago,
Zoidberg and I
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entered
into a secret arrangement
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relating to certain
extraordinary events
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too horrible to reveal.
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So there's nothing
to be curious about.
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Stop, or I'll shoot!
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Zoidberg?
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You can't hunt a yeti
by yourself, sir.
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It's suicidal!
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So what? I'm going to die
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00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,600
of hypermalaria, anyway.
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I was in the same swamp
as the rest of the men.
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00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,038
Just because you
were in the swamp
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doesn't
necessarily mean...
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I was thirsty
from the flight.
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I drank swamp water.
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Look, Zoidberg,
you're a loyal friend.
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"Friend"?
189
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,149
But I'm doomed.
190
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I might as well capture
a yeti and die trying.
191
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Then you'll need someone
to dissect it, friend.
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Go, Johnny! Go!
That's an order!
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00:08:26,364 --> 00:08:29,333
Never! Zoidberg doesn't
abandon a friend, apparently.
194
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Oh. Oh-oh-oh...
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I'll save us
by scaring him off
196
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,045
with my crazy war noise.
197
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:50,187
Crunch all you want.
I'll make more.
198
00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:55,959
Oy, I lost another one.
199
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,130
Zoidberg, I'm sorry
to break it to you this way,
200
00:09:00,198 --> 00:09:02,766
but we hate you and we never
want to see you again.
201
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,101
But friends...
202
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,669
We're not your friends!
203
00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:06,870
We're your victims!
204
00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:08,205
I was just trying to...
205
00:09:08,273 --> 00:09:10,107
Shut up and give
me my kidney back!
206
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,843
I'm sorry.
207
00:09:12,911 --> 00:09:15,345
I'm sorry.
208
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,815
We don't know why the Professor
keeps you around here,
209
00:09:17,882 --> 00:09:20,184
and we don't care.
You're a terrible doctor!
210
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,052
Nobody wants
to see you ever again!
211
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,520
Dr. Zoidberg!
212
00:09:23,555 --> 00:09:25,255
I want to see
you right now!
213
00:09:31,361 --> 00:09:33,263
The time has
come, my friend.
214
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:36,700
We have to talk about
our arrangement.
215
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:38,836
Oh, no. No, no.
216
00:09:38,903 --> 00:09:40,170
Oh, no, no, no!
217
00:09:40,238 --> 00:09:41,305
Oh, no!
218
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,106
Oh, no!
219
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,678
Unpaw him, you big ape!
220
00:09:47,745 --> 00:09:50,080
I saw this in a Tarzan movie!
221
00:09:50,148 --> 00:09:51,715
It was called...
222
00:09:51,783 --> 00:09:53,851
Tarzan Versus the Yetis.
223
00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:56,053
I lost my virginity
224
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,321
... during the film,
225
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,789
so I'm ...
226
00:09:58,857 --> 00:10:00,491
a little fuzzy on the details.
227
00:10:15,205 --> 00:10:16,840
John, are you
all right?
228
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:20,010
You... you saved my life!
229
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,879
- Oh, fuff.
- Yes, fuff.
230
00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:23,847
How can I ever
repay you?
231
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,015
Do you need a slave?
232
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,116
Or maybe a butler?
233
00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,051
No, I haven't needed a butler
234
00:10:28,119 --> 00:10:29,319
since grad school.
235
00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:31,188
But I do need a doctor.
236
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:34,391
I don't want to die
like those Marines, John.
237
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,860
The fever, the madness.
238
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,229
Don't forget the spasms,
coma and death.
239
00:10:39,297 --> 00:10:41,798
Oh, I don't want
to go through that.
240
00:10:41,866 --> 00:10:43,767
I want you to kill me.
241
00:10:43,835 --> 00:10:45,102
All right. Give
me the knife.
242
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:46,803
Not now!
243
00:10:46,871 --> 00:10:49,172
Hypermalaria
can lie dormant for years.
244
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,974
Isn't that what you said?
245
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:53,043
It sounds like something
I would say.
246
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,779
So stay with me until
the symptoms start,
247
00:10:55,847 --> 00:10:58,348
then put me
out of my misery.
248
00:10:58,416 --> 00:10:59,816
You must swear!
249
00:11:02,486 --> 00:11:05,222
All right, Hubert, I swear.
250
00:11:08,325 --> 00:11:09,960
It's started, Zoidberg--
251
00:11:10,328 --> 00:11:12,763
the fever, the muscle spasms.
252
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:14,398
I'm dying.
253
00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:19,200
It's time for you to keep your
promise and kill me.
254
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,906
This is very difficult,
but I'll try,
255
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:24,841
friend.
256
00:11:31,152 --> 00:11:33,620
No, wait,
I'm afraid to die.
257
00:11:33,688 --> 00:11:35,856
Ugh, you said you wanted me
to kill you.
258
00:11:35,923 --> 00:11:38,592
Is this one of those
"no means yes" deals?
259
00:11:38,659 --> 00:11:40,527
Yes and no.
260
00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:42,996
I do want you to kill me,
but I mustn't see it coming.
261
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:44,698
That would be agony.
262
00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:48,201
So you must murder me
completely by surprise.
263
00:11:48,269 --> 00:11:51,638
As God is my witness,
you can count on me.
264
00:11:51,706 --> 00:11:54,374
Well, see you tomorrow.
265
00:11:59,513 --> 00:12:01,681
Not surprising enough.
266
00:12:04,685 --> 00:12:06,786
♪ ♪
267
00:12:24,972 --> 00:12:26,139
Wha...?
Oh...
268
00:12:26,207 --> 00:12:27,908
My...
269
00:12:27,975 --> 00:12:29,809
heart.
270
00:12:47,295 --> 00:12:48,662
Hey. What are you doing there?
271
00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:52,632
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
272
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,034
Stop, you don't understand.
273
00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:55,535
Let's go,
you murderer.
274
00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:57,103
Fry, help me lock him up.
275
00:12:57,171 --> 00:12:59,706
Hang on, I'm learning
how to do loop-de-loops.
276
00:12:59,774 --> 00:13:02,442
Whoa, whoa, whoo!
277
00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:04,511
You're making a mistake.
278
00:13:04,578 --> 00:13:07,547
I was only trying
to kill the Professor.
279
00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:18,458
Hubert, I'm sorry.
280
00:13:18,526 --> 00:13:20,760
Huh?
281
00:13:20,828 --> 00:13:22,095
He doesn't have hair.
282
00:13:23,163 --> 00:13:25,465
Great Little Caesar's ghost.
283
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:30,003
You fools, you stupid,
life-prolonging fools.
284
00:13:30,071 --> 00:13:32,772
I asked Zoidberg to kill me.
285
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,040
Huh? What?
What you talkin' 'bout, Professor?
286
00:13:34,108 --> 00:13:35,709
Professor, have you gone mad?
287
00:13:35,776 --> 00:13:37,444
Probably.
288
00:13:37,511 --> 00:13:38,945
It's one of the symptoms
of Tritonian hypermalaria.
289
00:13:40,948 --> 00:13:44,784
You mean the incurable disease
that causes fever, spasms,
290
00:13:44,852 --> 00:13:46,786
insanity...
291
00:13:46,854 --> 00:13:48,021
...coma...
292
00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:50,957
...and finally death?
293
00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:55,428
Yes, and I begged Zoidberg
to put me out of my misery.
294
00:13:55,496 --> 00:13:57,597
Bring him... quickly.
295
00:14:01,168 --> 00:14:02,936
Should have known better
296
00:14:03,004 --> 00:14:05,672
than to store my antiques
in the office.
297
00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:07,474
Zoidberg, we were wrong.
298
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:10,944
We're letting you out
so you can kill the Professor.
299
00:14:13,981 --> 00:14:16,850
Oh, no, he sand-crabbed out.
300
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:18,952
Then we have no choice.
301
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,688
We'll have to mercy-kill
the Professor ourselves.
302
00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:23,623
Well, let's get started.
303
00:14:29,096 --> 00:14:30,597
We have a situation,
Mother.
304
00:14:30,664 --> 00:14:33,533
This creature tried to
sand-crab into the building.
305
00:14:33,601 --> 00:14:35,602
Zoidberg?
306
00:14:35,669 --> 00:14:37,804
Sorry I didn't call first,
Carol, but I'm in a hurry.
307
00:14:37,872 --> 00:14:39,572
I need your help to save Hubert.
308
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,941
Let him go and stooge
the hell out of here.
309
00:14:42,009 --> 00:14:43,543
We're on it.
310
00:14:43,611 --> 00:14:44,644
Ow. Ow! Ow!
311
00:14:44,712 --> 00:14:46,413
Beautiful kids.
312
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,448
You must be very proud.
313
00:14:48,516 --> 00:14:50,350
John Zoidberg.
314
00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:51,651
It's been a long time.
315
00:14:51,719 --> 00:14:52,852
How have you been?
316
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,621
Not too bad.
317
00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:56,723
Last year I took a bus trip
to the Grand Canyon.
318
00:14:56,791 --> 00:14:58,525
Later I'll show you
the pictures.
319
00:14:58,592 --> 00:14:59,893
Do you ever regret it, John,
320
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,062
leaving me to work
for the Professor?
321
00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:04,831
What do you
want me to say?
322
00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:06,533
He saved my life.
323
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,901
Oh, big deal.
324
00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:09,702
You could have been rich
if you'd stayed.
325
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,238
Your own lab,
a full staff.
326
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:14,374
But Hubert is my friend.
327
00:15:14,442 --> 00:15:15,809
He's very sick.
328
00:15:15,876 --> 00:15:18,778
I can cure him, but
I need the thing,
329
00:15:18,846 --> 00:15:20,880
the thing from Triton.
330
00:15:20,948 --> 00:15:22,749
It'll cost you, John.
331
00:15:22,817 --> 00:15:24,350
How much are you worth now?
332
00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:25,819
I live in a Dumpster.
333
00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:27,821
All I have in the world
is this coupon
334
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:30,790
for one free session
at the tanning salon.
335
00:15:30,858 --> 00:15:34,427
Oh, John, that's really
all you have?
336
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:39,332
Then I'll take it.
337
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,608
Okay, Murdolator's finished.
338
00:15:51,846 --> 00:15:55,715
I said I'd kill him myself,
but nobody listens to Bender.
339
00:15:55,783 --> 00:15:57,650
We all have to share
in the guilt,
340
00:15:57,718 --> 00:16:00,386
which is why we're each going
to add one drop of cyanide
341
00:16:00,454 --> 00:16:02,388
to the death wheel
as it goes by.
342
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:14,868
Commence mercy-killing
343
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:18,138
in three, two, a-yup.
344
00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:23,209
Kill-check one is go.
345
00:16:38,292 --> 00:16:40,727
Kill-check two is go.
346
00:16:57,578 --> 00:16:59,612
It's about time.
347
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,322
Vegetables activated.
348
00:17:18,631 --> 00:17:19,632
Kill-check three is go.
349
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:21,367
Also, the salad's ready.
350
00:17:23,603 --> 00:17:24,671
What the hell are you doing?
351
00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:27,373
Zoidberg,
352
00:17:27,374 --> 00:17:28,775
we know about your
secret agreement.
353
00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:32,411
I am so, so sorry for
how we treated you.
354
00:17:32,479 --> 00:17:35,414
And to make it up to you, we're
killing the Professor for you
355
00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:37,950
so he doesn't die horribly
from hypermalaria.
356
00:17:38,018 --> 00:17:40,953
He doesn't have hypermalaria,
you idiots.
357
00:17:42,956 --> 00:17:45,858
He has yeti-ism.
358
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:47,993
When he saved my life
all those years ago,
359
00:17:48,061 --> 00:17:49,862
he was scratched by a yeti.
360
00:17:52,399 --> 00:17:55,000
Hmm, I consider myself
almost completely ignorant
361
00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:58,070
of modern medicine, and
I've never heard of yeti-ism.
362
00:17:58,138 --> 00:18:01,040
It mimics the symptoms
of hypermalaria exactly,
363
00:18:01,108 --> 00:18:03,175
except for the part
where instead of dying,
364
00:18:03,243 --> 00:18:05,111
you turn into a yeti.
365
00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:06,212
Aah.
366
00:18:12,152 --> 00:18:13,786
Wow.
367
00:18:13,854 --> 00:18:16,122
Hold him down
while I prepare the antidote.
368
00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:20,960
Another yeti?
369
00:18:21,027 --> 00:18:23,129
Yes, the same jerk
that once noshed on me
370
00:18:23,196 --> 00:18:25,097
like a shrimp toast.
371
00:18:25,165 --> 00:18:28,434
Now who's getting
his pineal gland extracted?
372
00:18:29,936 --> 00:18:31,537
Ah, yes,
373
00:18:31,605 --> 00:18:35,441
this contains a concentrated
form of the yeti neurotoxin.
374
00:18:35,509 --> 00:18:37,843
But that's what gave him
yeti-ism in the first place.
375
00:18:37,911 --> 00:18:39,779
Won't it just make him
a double-yeti?
376
00:18:39,846 --> 00:18:42,915
Don't lecture me about
alien physiology, Conrad.
377
00:18:42,983 --> 00:18:44,383
The pineal neurotoxin
neutralizes
378
00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:46,252
the adrenal neurotoxin.
379
00:18:46,319 --> 00:18:48,854
That's why yetis
don't drive themselves mad.
380
00:18:54,161 --> 00:18:57,196
My God, he's like some kind
of believable Hulk.
381
00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:59,698
No time for an injection.
382
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:20,719
I'll be damned,
it did make him a double-yeti.
383
00:19:49,881 --> 00:19:53,319
It wasn't supposed to do
any of those things.
384
00:20:02,027 --> 00:20:03,162
You did it, Johnny.
385
00:20:03,229 --> 00:20:05,064
I'm cured.
386
00:20:13,339 --> 00:20:15,941
All right, let's set
it up and try again.
387
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:23,215
There's one thing
I don't understand, Zoidberg.
388
00:20:23,283 --> 00:20:27,086
How did you persuade Mom to give
you her precious yeti head?
389
00:20:27,153 --> 00:20:29,455
Did you have to promise
anything in return?
390
00:20:30,222 --> 00:20:32,522
Nothing, nothing at all.
391
00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:35,022
This calls for a celebration.
392
00:20:35,122 --> 00:20:37,922
Come on, everyone,
Let´s go tanning!
393
00:20:42,522 --> 00:20:44,422
I was going to tan...
394
00:20:44,922 --> 00:20:45,822
...once
395
00:20:47,222 --> 00:20:49,822
What do you say, Johnny?
It's on me.
396
00:20:51,322 --> 00:20:52,822
Thank you, Hubert.
397
00:20:58,022 --> 00:21:06,822
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com