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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Double time, soldier.
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I want this ice fishing
operation up and running
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by 0800 hours.
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It's too cold, Dad.
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My teen region is freezing off.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I once survived an entire week
trapped in a Swiss glacier,
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eating nothing but
frozen Neanderthal.
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To this day I can't stand
the taste of early hominid.
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Let's just get inside the shack.
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- Hold, maggot!
- Ow!
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Remember the code of the ice:
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Thick and blue, tried and true;
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thin and crispy, way too risky.
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Shows what you know.
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Crispy doesn't even rhyme with risky.
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Aah!
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Help, I'm drowning!
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Don't worry, son, you'll
freeze before you drown.
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I love ice fishing.
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I shouldn't be out in this cold.
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I have no protective fat, hair
or warm blood.
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I'm not even legally a mammal.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I was frozen for a thousand years.
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You were?
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Huh, learn something dumb every day.
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Live bait.
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Get your live bait here.
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Fresh killed bait.
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Can we get inside the shack?
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I'm wearing a belly parka.
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If I understand ice fishing,
and I'm pretty sure I don't,
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we'll need to laser-blast
a hole in the ice.
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No, no crazy technology.
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Here, Bender, use
your immense robot strength
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to drill a hole
the old-fashioned way.
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I don't see any irony in that.
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And voilà  !
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Everybody's ice fishing.
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How come nobody's ice fishing?
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Hot cocoa break.
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Cocoa is for yodeling babies.
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If you're sober,
it isn't ice fishing.
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Mom, what's my temperature?
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50, 45, 40.
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It's all over.
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Whoo!
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Down at the 35!
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I'm really sick.
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Huh?
Oh, sorry.
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A hundred and nine.
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We'll check it again at halftime.
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You home from school, you traitor?
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I fell through the ice.
Cut me some slack.
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Nobody cut me any slack
when I broke my spine.
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Didn't even take a day off of work.
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Lot of people depend on you
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when you sell trampolines
door to door.
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Here's your homework, you lucky knob.
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And with a little more luck
from my seven-leaf clover,
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I might get sick enough
to miss the whole semester.
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Hey, give me that.
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No.
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Give it to me, you faker.
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No, you're not getting it.
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Ow, my underbite.
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Come on, Yancy,
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your brother's sick.
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You'll never have
a better chance to take him out.
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Dad.
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"Nerd Search '88"?
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What's this?
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Some stupid science contest
for smartwads.
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NASA's going to pick one kid's
experiment to launch into space.
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I could make a space experiment.
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I just got a new thing of glitter.
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I'm not sure science is your thing,
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seeing how that chimp
at the zoo tricked you
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out of your allowance.
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Yeah, well, I'll show you
and Mr. Bananas.
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Anyway, I've got nothing better to do
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while I'm sick in bed.
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Wait, that's it.
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I'll make a space experiment
about the common cold.
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Where's that contest flyer?
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You're holding it, genius.
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Oh, good.
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I feel awful, but it was worth it
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to catch and kill this baby fish.
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Shmeez, what's with
the shmiffling?
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It's nothing.
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Just a common cold.
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- Wha...?
- Common huh?
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- What the hell's a common cold?
- Is it valuable?
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Could it be taken from you
if you were, say, unconscious?
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A common-- a common cold?!
101
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No, no...!
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Ever since Fry first came to us,
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I've lived in mortal terror
that this would happen.
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I never heard you mention that.
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00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:39,112
Oh, I try to act cool, but
inside I'm freaking out.
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It's just a cold.
107
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What's the big deal?
108
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This is the police.
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An unknown pathogen has been
detected on these premises.
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Come out with your hands...
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I mean, stay in with your hands up.
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You are hereby quarantined
until such time
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as it is deemed safe to enter
and shoot your asses.
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Now, now, let's not
all panic at once.
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We'll have to take shifts.
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Hermes, you take the first six hours.
117
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Very well.
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Louder, louder!
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Right, baby.
120
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Look, I just have a common...
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...cold!
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It'll be gone as fast
as I can sneeze, hurl,
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and squirt it out.
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No, it won't.
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The common cold died out
500 years ago,
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and subsequently, humanity lost
all resistance to its ravages,
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but the virus survived in you,
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frozen for a thousand years.
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Huh, so it was hiding
deep down inside of me,
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like my skeleton bones?
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Give it to us straight, Professor.
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How incredibly deadly is it?
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00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:04,355
We don't know.
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It could kill millions or nobody.
135
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I suppose it might even bring
a few people back to life.
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Anything is possible in science.
137
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Oh, no, I've got it, too.
138
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My nose is all gunked up with blork.
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00:06:20,754 --> 00:06:22,674
And I've got a hankering
for a useless remedy
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created by a schoolteacher.
141
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,547
Uh-oh, I think
I'm getting swollen glands.
142
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Screw the quarantine,
I'm out of here.
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Initiate containment procedure.
144
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Aah, ow, oh!
145
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Go on now.
146
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:46,064
Now I'm sick.
147
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:48,533
I shudder to think
what this cold will do to me.
148
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:52,037
Yesterday I was nearly killed
by a tight hat.
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I'd be remiss if I didn't rub
your goopy noses
150
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:56,007
in the fact that I'm immune.
151
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Which is why we'll all be
counting on you and you alone
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to nurse us through this catastrophe.
153
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,616
Why, God?
154
00:07:05,741 --> 00:07:08,319
Why have I been singled out?
155
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Everyone just calm down and make
yourself a tissue walrus.
156
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,398
Damn it, son, lose the tissues.
157
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,633
You're ruining Thanksgiving dinner.
158
00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:25,036
I'm busy with my space experiment.
159
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:28,198
I can't devote precious
brainpower to blowing my nose.
160
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:31,109
You're never going to win
that science fair, Philip.
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00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,544
Face it, someone
with your limited brainpower
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00:07:33,669 --> 00:07:36,998
would be lucky to get a job
as a pizza delivery boy.
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00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:41,185
Hey, Barack,
pizza going out, come on.
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Man, I have got to go
back to law school.
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I'm not going to wind up a loser
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like that guy.
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Sure you will.
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You're going to lose
the science fair,
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and that's who's going to beat you--
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Josh Gedgie, boy scientist.
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Pi over four radians
of pizza, please.
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What is that, about a slice?
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More like exactly a slice.
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Game on, Gedgie.
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Ew!
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00:08:07,444 --> 00:08:08,529
I've had worse.
177
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,630
When I was shot down over Korea,
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I had to eat Kimchi.
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He was our interpreter.
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Coming.
181
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:30,651
What now?
182
00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:32,086
Humidifier.
183
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,222
Fine.
184
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,270
Yes?
185
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,763
Where's that chicken soup
we asked for?
186
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,693
Chicken, water, fire.
187
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,302
You take it from there.
188
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:51,739
This is torture--
the fever, the chills,
189
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,276
and the sweating--
Amy's horrible sweating!
190
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,747
That's it.
191
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:03,251
I'm leaving
while I still have my dignity.
192
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,544
See you in the obituaries.
193
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,494
How's the containment holding up?
194
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:17,231
Without turning my head,
I'd say 100%.
195
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,070
Howdy, folks, and may I say
196
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:26,007
nice work keeping
those sickos penned up.
197
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,708
Put her there.
198
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:31,712
You, too, buddy,
and you and you and you
199
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:35,249
and especially you.
200
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:41,312
That robot was
a heck of a nice feller.
201
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,360
You'd better stay here
during biology.
202
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:49,664
Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything
smaller than a fifth-grader.
203
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,235
Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm.
204
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,504
I heard you're entering the
NASA science competition.
205
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,906
Maybe I am, LL Fool J.
206
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:02,143
So what's your project-- the
effects of losing on idiots?
207
00:10:02,309 --> 00:10:04,812
No, I'm gonna infect my
guinea pig with the common cold
208
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:08,516
and launch it into space to see
if it gets cured by cosmic rays.
209
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,386
Lame, though the common cold
virus does seem
210
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:13,854
like a judge-pleaser.
211
00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:15,489
I think I'll steal that
and do an experiment
212
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:18,201
that's slightly less very stupid.
213
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,527
But that's my idea.
214
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,796
You are an evil, evil nerd.
215
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,788
Gedgie out.
216
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,768
We'll show him who's stupid.
217
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,666
♪ ♪
218
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,578
Linda?
219
00:11:02,744 --> 00:11:05,339
Borbo, the so-called common cold,
220
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:07,742
introduced by living
fossil Philip J. Fry,
221
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,677
is spreading out of control.
222
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:12,246
All citizens are advised
to wash their hands thoroughly
223
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,448
after beating up Philip J. Fry.
224
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:16,784
Phew! Lucky I'm safely
locked up here with you guys.
225
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,252
There he is!
226
00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:19,620
Get him!
227
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:21,789
Ow! Ow! Ow! Wait!
228
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,858
The situation is expected
to deteriorate
229
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:27,161
as newscasters whip
the city into a panic.
230
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,864
Run! Run for your lives!
231
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:39,507
And finally, the heartwarming
story of a handicapped magician
232
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,799
who didn't know when to give up.
233
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:48,816
I don't like the looks
of this, Mr. President.
234
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,185
Shall I switch it off?
235
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,853
Negative.
236
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:54,822
Rosemary,
release the surgeon general.
237
00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:56,624
Get in there!
238
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,959
Ow! It's bright out here.
239
00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:01,395
Wernstrom, the quarantine has failed.
240
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,431
Give me a worst case scenario.
241
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,266
And make it grim.
242
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,201
I've prepared some projections.
243
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,303
Should the virus escape Manhattan,
244
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:12,072
this is how far
it will spread in 12 hours.
245
00:12:12,197 --> 00:12:13,741
This is 24 hours.
246
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:15,576
This is a Verizon coverage map.
247
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:19,213
And in 36 hours, it will have
infected the entire planet.
248
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:20,080
Options?
249
00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:21,449
We have only one option.
250
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,185
Protocol 62.
251
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,619
Not possible.
252
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,087
We don't have arly enough piranhas.
253
00:12:27,212 --> 00:12:31,249
Then protocol 63 it is.
254
00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:37,665
Hooray!
255
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:40,009
They're letting us out!
256
00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:41,535
And hundreds of black hovercopters
257
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,194
are coming to welcome us!
258
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,628
They shrink-wrapped the whole city.
259
00:13:03,753 --> 00:13:05,243
Well, it could be worse.
260
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,830
It is worse!
261
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,732
Oh!
262
00:13:36,898 --> 00:13:39,026
They're flying
Manhattan into the sun!
263
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:40,947
They must have been out of piranhas.
264
00:13:41,072 --> 00:13:43,478
They're gonna kill the virus
by exposing it
265
00:13:43,603 --> 00:13:45,366
to the heat of our burning bodies!
266
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:48,578
I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.
267
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,365
What good is a wool...?
268
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,647
Guys! Guys, you're never
gonna believe this!
269
00:14:00,772 --> 00:14:01,664
We know!
270
00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:04,234
They shmooped up Manhattan
and blasted us toward the sun!
271
00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:09,105
They did? Oh, so that's
why this was unguarded.
272
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:11,107
People of New New York,
273
00:14:11,232 --> 00:14:13,603
this is Surgeon General
Ogden Wernstrom.
274
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,011
Wern...
275
00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:18,941
...strom!
276
00:14:19,107 --> 00:14:21,317
No doctor likes hurling
his patients into the sun,
277
00:14:21,442 --> 00:14:22,952
but since there is no way
278
00:14:23,077 --> 00:14:24,887
to make a vaccine
for the common cold...
279
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,424
There is a way to make a vaccine!
280
00:14:28,549 --> 00:14:30,360
There is? Yay!
281
00:14:30,485 --> 00:14:32,622
Of course,
there's a catch.
282
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,297
Yay! Yay!
283
00:14:34,422 --> 00:14:36,209
So what's the catch?
284
00:14:36,491 --> 00:14:38,434
The vaccine requires the original,
285
00:14:38,559 --> 00:14:41,547
unmutated 20th-century cold virus,
286
00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:44,407
so I need to grind you into a paste.
287
00:14:44,532 --> 00:14:46,427
Professor, no!
288
00:14:46,593 --> 00:14:48,077
It's okay, Leela.
289
00:14:48,202 --> 00:14:49,646
This is all my fault sort of.
290
00:14:49,771 --> 00:14:51,447
If this will save you, then please,
291
00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:52,982
turn me into a virus milkshake.
292
00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:54,550
He consented!
You all heard it!
293
00:15:01,916 --> 00:15:04,217
♪ ♪
294
00:15:08,623 --> 00:15:10,867
Yes, sir, many of these
entries merit a ride
295
00:15:10,992 --> 00:15:13,436
in the mighty bosom
of our space shuttle.
296
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:17,750
And then there's
your so-called entry.
297
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:23,172
Geez! Walk much, Gedgie?
298
00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:24,814
Absurd. You really think
299
00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:27,218
your guinea pig can survive
in the vacuum of space?
300
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,519
He already survived
in the vacuum of my mom.
301
00:15:29,644 --> 00:15:31,639
I mean, my mom's vacuum.
302
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,257
My experiment measures
the effect of microgravity
303
00:15:34,382 --> 00:15:36,359
on the propagation
of the common cold virus
304
00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:39,162
in an anaerobic environment,
i.e., space.
305
00:15:39,287 --> 00:15:40,856
Impressed?
306
00:15:41,022 --> 00:15:42,365
Damn right I am.
307
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:44,834
That's some dry, emotionless science.
308
00:15:44,959 --> 00:15:46,821
Nice job, son.
309
00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:53,242
Hey, wait a second!
310
00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:55,878
I know where you can get some
20th century cold virus
311
00:15:56,003 --> 00:15:57,331
without killing me!
312
00:15:57,497 --> 00:16:00,950
Hush, lad.
I'm totally in the zone.
313
00:16:01,075 --> 00:16:03,920
We just have to find the
Nerd Search '88 satellite.
314
00:16:04,045 --> 00:16:08,391
Oh! I don't know why
I even build these things.
315
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,332
Gunnery Chief Bender,
blast us out of quarantine.
316
00:16:16,457 --> 00:16:18,067
Aye aye, lady!
317
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:23,339
Oh, fiddlepoop!
318
00:16:23,464 --> 00:16:25,108
Our weapons aren't strong enough
319
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,376
to puncture a thin
plastic tent that thick.
320
00:16:27,501 --> 00:16:29,245
No, but theirs are!
321
00:16:31,038 --> 00:16:34,035
Captain, a ship is attempting
to break the quarantine.
322
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,853
Blow them to Bac-O bits
with a well-placed warning shot.
323
00:16:36,978 --> 00:16:38,539
But...
324
00:16:38,705 --> 00:16:40,046
Oh!
325
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,396
Oops.
326
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:49,332
We'll find that cold virus.
327
00:16:49,457 --> 00:16:51,801
The Nerd Search satellite was
launched on the space shuttle
328
00:16:51,926 --> 00:16:53,436
and released into orbit.
329
00:16:53,561 --> 00:16:58,674
Hmm. All ancient satellites were
swept up as space junk in 2113.
330
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,009
I actually knew that offhand.
331
00:17:00,134 --> 00:17:02,044
I'm Facebooking right now.
332
00:17:02,169 --> 00:17:04,447
Aha!
333
00:17:04,572 --> 00:17:07,116
That satellite was scuttled
on Enceladus,
334
00:17:07,241 --> 00:17:09,819
Saturn's main dump moon.
335
00:17:09,944 --> 00:17:11,211
Let's dump it up!
336
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:21,430
This is the exact location of the dump,
337
00:17:21,555 --> 00:17:23,366
but there's nothing here.
338
00:17:23,491 --> 00:17:25,268
Can we please go home and die now?
339
00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:27,203
I'm with Bender.
340
00:17:27,328 --> 00:17:28,905
Whatever was here has been covered
341
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:31,073
by centuries of ice buildup.
342
00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:32,909
No! It's under here somewhere!
343
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,388
We just have to bust our way down.
344
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,079
Remember the code of the ice.
345
00:17:37,204 --> 00:17:39,749
Thin and crispy, way too risky!
346
00:17:46,826 --> 00:17:48,859
I found the satellite!
347
00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:54,163
Let's just hope
the experiment's still in here.
348
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:56,465
Yes! We're saved!
349
00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:01,771
And now, to present the awards,
our very special guest.
350
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:03,506
He walked on the moon,
351
00:18:03,631 --> 00:18:06,475
and now he is judging
a high school science contest.
352
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,779
Truly a man who can
and will do anything:
353
00:18:09,904 --> 00:18:11,280
Dr. Buzz Aldrin!
354
00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:15,918
Wow. I could have used
an introduction like that
355
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:18,521
when I first met the moon men.
356
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,492
But seriously, there are moon men.
357
00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:27,063
Okay, this year's
Nerd Search runner-up
358
00:18:27,188 --> 00:18:30,399
is a young man who devised
a way to add and subtract
359
00:18:30,524 --> 00:18:36,305
in zero gravity-- Vijay Patel
and his calculator space hat!
360
00:18:40,968 --> 00:18:42,612
And now, the grand prize winner
361
00:18:42,737 --> 00:18:45,915
whose experiment will be
launched into space...
362
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,020
Look at that cocky smirk.
363
00:18:51,145 --> 00:18:52,923
My money's on Gedgie.
364
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:55,358
Yeah? He may have brains,
but I have heart.
365
00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:57,293
Josh Gedgie!
366
00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:01,054
I'll bring the car around.
367
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,412
What a well-prepared virus culture.
368
00:19:16,537 --> 00:19:19,181
This will make a fine vaccine.
369
00:19:19,306 --> 00:19:21,050
Good thing Gedgie won.
370
00:19:21,175 --> 00:19:23,352
My dumb experiment wouldn't
have lasted an hour in space,
371
00:19:23,477 --> 00:19:25,354
let alone a thousand years.
372
00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:28,524
Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my
guinea pig in the parking lot.
373
00:19:28,649 --> 00:19:30,226
Okay.
374
00:19:30,351 --> 00:19:33,396
Come on, gang,
let's go inoculate everyone
375
00:19:33,521 --> 00:19:36,990
and cram Manhattan
back into its rightful hole.
376
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,911
This may hurt a little.
377
00:19:49,036 --> 00:19:50,446
Ow!
378
00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:53,482
Now I'll give you the shot.
379
00:19:53,607 --> 00:19:56,052
You saved millions of lives, Fry.
380
00:19:56,177 --> 00:19:59,479
You should feel proud, no matter
what your dad said to you.
381
00:20:09,557 --> 00:20:11,434
You still haven't thanked me
382
00:20:11,559 --> 00:20:13,963
for pulling you out
of the lake, soldier.
383
00:20:14,329 --> 00:20:16,085
I could have flip-flopped out.
384
00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,030
I know that.
385
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,212
Look, son, I know I give you
the business sometimes.
386
00:20:23,337 --> 00:20:26,349
But if I'm hard on you,
it's only 'cause I want you
387
00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:28,918
to grow up strong and resilient.
388
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:31,945
Some day, you may face
adversities so preposterous,
389
00:20:32,070 --> 00:20:34,490
I can't even conceive of them.
390
00:20:34,615 --> 00:20:38,051
But I know you'll pull through
and make me proud.
391
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,357
I love you, son.
392
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,009
Now bundle up.
393
00:20:54,134 --> 00:20:56,060
I don't want you getting frozen.
394
00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:00,801
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com