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♪ Two... two, three... ♪
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♪ ♪
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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Double time, soldier.
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I want this ice fishing
operation up and running
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by 0800 hours.
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It's too cold, Dad.
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My teen region is freezing off.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I once survived an entire week
trapped in a Swiss glacier,
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eating nothing but
frozen Neanderthal.
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To this day I can't stand
the taste of early hominid.
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Let's just get inside the shack.
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- Hold, maggot!
- Ow!
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Remember the code of the ice:
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Thick and blue, tried and true;
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thin and crispy, way too risky.
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Shows what you know.
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Crispy doesn't even rhyme with risky.
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Aah!
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Help, I'm drowning!
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Don't worry, son, you'll
freeze before you drown.
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I love ice fishing.
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I shouldn't be out in this cold.
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I have no protective fat, hair
or warm blood.
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I'm not even legally a mammal.
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You don't know what cold is.
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I was frozen for a thousand years.
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You were?
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Huh, learn something dumb every day.
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Live bait.
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Get your live bait here.
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Fresh killed bait.
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Can we get inside the shack?
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I'm wearing a belly parka.
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If I understand ice fishing,
and I'm pretty sure I don't,
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we'll need to laser-blast
a hole in the ice.
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No, no crazy technology.
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Here, Bender, use
your immense robot strength
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to drill a hole
the old-fashioned way.
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I don't see any irony in that.
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And voilà !
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Everybody's ice fishing.
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How come nobody's ice fishing?
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Hot cocoa break.
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Cocoa is for yodeling babies.
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If you're sober,
it isn't ice fishing.
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Mom, what's my temperature?
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50, 45, 40.
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It's all over.
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Whoo!
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Down at the 35!
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I'm really sick.
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Huh?
Oh, sorry.
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A hundred and nine.
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We'll check it again at halftime.
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You home from school, you traitor?
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I fell through the ice.
Cut me some slack.
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Nobody cut me any slack
when I broke my spine.
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Didn't even take a day off of work.
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Lot of people depend on you
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when you sell trampolines
door to door.
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Here's your homework, you lucky knob.
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And with a little more luck
from my seven-leaf clover,
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I might get sick enough
to miss the whole semester.
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Hey, give me that.
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No.
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Give it to me, you faker.
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No, you're not getting it.
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Ow, my underbite.
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MR. FRY:
Come on, Yancy,
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your brother's sick.
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You'll never have
a better chance to take him out.
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Dad.
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"Nerd Search '88"?
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What's this?
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Some stupid science contest
for smartwads.
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NASA's going to pick one kid's
experiment to launch into space.
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I could make a space experiment.
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I just got a new thing of glitter.
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I'm not sure science is your thing,
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seeing how that chimp
at the zoo tricked you
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out of your allowance.
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Yeah, well, I'll show you
and Mr. Bananas.
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Anyway, I've got nothing better to do
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while I'm sick in bed.
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Wait, that's it.
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I'll make a space experiment
about the common cold.
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Where's that contest flyer?
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You're holding it, genius.
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Oh, good.
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I feel awful, but it was worth it
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to catch and kill this baby fish.
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Shmeez, what's with
the shmiffling?
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It's nothing.
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Just a common cold.
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- Wha...?
- Common huh?
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- What the hell's a common cold?
- Is it valuable?
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Could it be taken from you
if you were, say, unconscious?
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A common-- a common cold?!
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No, no...!
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Ever since Fry first came to us,
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I've lived in mortal terror
that this would happen.
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I never heard you mention that.
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Oh, I try to act cool, but
inside I'm freaking out.
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It's just a cold.
107
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What's the big deal?
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This is the police.
109
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An unknown pathogen has been
detected on these premises.
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Come out with your hands...
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I mean, stay in with your hands up.
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You are hereby quarantined
until such time
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as it is deemed safe to enter
and shoot your asses.
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Now, now, let's not
all panic at once.
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We'll have to take shifts.
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Hermes, you take the first six hours.
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Very well.
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Right, baby.
120
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Look, I just have a common...
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...cold!
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It'll be gone as fast
as I can sneeze, hurl,
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and squirt it out.
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No, it won't.
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The common cold died out
500 years ago,
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and subsequently, humanity lost
all resistance to its ravages,
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but the virus survived in you,
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frozen for a thousand years.
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Huh, so it was hiding
deep down inside of me,
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00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:01,734
like my skeleton bones?
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Give it to us straight, Professor.
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00:06:03,144 --> 00:06:04,954
How incredibly deadly is it?
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00:06:05,079 --> 00:06:06,355
We don't know.
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00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,758
It could kill millions or nobody.
135
00:06:08,883 --> 00:06:12,194
I suppose it might even bring
a few people back to life.
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Anything is possible in science.
137
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Oh, no, I've got it, too.
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My nose is all gunked up with blork.
139
00:06:22,754 --> 00:06:24,674
And I've got a hankering
for a useless remedy
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created by a schoolteacher.
141
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:31,547
Uh-oh, I think
I'm getting swollen glands.
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Screw the quarantine,
I'm out of here.
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Initiate containment procedure.
144
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Aah, ow, oh!
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Go on now.
146
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Now I'm sick.
147
00:06:48,189 --> 00:06:50,533
I shudder to think
what this cold will do to me.
148
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Yesterday I was nearly killed
by a tight hat.
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I'd be remiss if I didn't rub
your goopy noses
150
00:06:56,564 --> 00:06:58,007
in the fact that I'm immune.
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Which is why we'll all be
counting on you and you alone
152
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to nurse us through this catastrophe.
153
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Why, God?
154
00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:10,319
Why have I been singled out?
155
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Everyone just calm down and make
yourself a tissue walrus.
156
00:07:20,521 --> 00:07:22,398
Damn it, son, lose the tissues.
157
00:07:22,523 --> 00:07:24,633
You're ruining Thanksgiving dinner.
158
00:07:24,758 --> 00:07:27,036
I'm busy with my space experiment.
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00:07:27,319 --> 00:07:30,198
I can't devote precious
brainpower to blowing my nose.
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00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:33,109
You're never going to win
that science fair, Philip.
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Face it, someone
with your limited brainpower
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00:07:35,669 --> 00:07:38,998
would be lucky to get a job
as a pizza delivery boy.
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00:07:39,164 --> 00:07:43,185
Hey, Barack,
pizza going out, come on.
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Man, I have got to go
back to law school.
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I'm not going to wind up a loser
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like that guy.
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Sure you will.
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You're going to lose
the science fair,
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and that's who's going to beat you--
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Josh Gedgie, boy scientist.
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00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:59,560
Pi over four radians
of pizza, please.
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What is that, about a slice?
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More like exactly a slice.
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Game on, Gedgie.
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YANCY:
Ew!
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00:08:09,444 --> 00:08:10,529
I've had worse.
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00:08:10,654 --> 00:08:11,630
When I was shot down over Korea,
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I had to eat Kimchi.
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He was our interpreter.
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Coming.
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00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:32,651
What now?
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00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:34,086
Humidifier.
183
00:08:34,211 --> 00:08:36,222
Fine.
184
00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:42,270
Yes?
185
00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:44,763
Where's that chicken soup
we asked for?
186
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:48,693
Chicken, water, fire.
187
00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:50,302
You take it from there.
188
00:08:50,427 --> 00:08:53,739
This is torture--
the fever, the chills,
189
00:08:53,864 --> 00:08:57,276
and the sweating--
Amy's horrible sweating!
190
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:01,747
That's it.
191
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:05,251
I'm leaving
while I still have my dignity.
192
00:09:05,376 --> 00:09:08,544
See you in the obituaries.
193
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,494
How's the containment holding up?
194
00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:19,231
Without turning my head,
I'd say 100%.
195
00:09:23,602 --> 00:09:25,070
Howdy, folks, and may I say
196
00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:28,007
nice work keeping
those sickos penned up.
197
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,708
Put her there.
198
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,712
You, too, buddy,
and you and you and you
199
00:09:33,837 --> 00:09:37,249
and especially you.
200
00:09:39,785 --> 00:09:43,312
That robot was
a heck of a nice feller.
201
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,360
You'd better stay here
during biology.
202
00:09:48,485 --> 00:09:51,664
Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything
smaller than a fifth-grader.
203
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,235
Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm.
204
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,504
I heard you're entering the
NASA science competition.
205
00:09:58,629 --> 00:10:00,906
Maybe I am, LL Fool J.
206
00:10:01,031 --> 00:10:04,143
So what's your project-- the
effects of losing on idiots?
207
00:10:04,309 --> 00:10:06,812
No, I'm gonna infect my
guinea pig with the common cold
208
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:10,516
and launch it into space to see
if it gets cured by cosmic rays.
209
00:10:12,242 --> 00:10:14,386
Lame, though the common cold
virus does seem
210
00:10:14,511 --> 00:10:15,854
like a judge-pleaser.
211
00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:17,489
I think I'll steal that
and do an experiment
212
00:10:17,614 --> 00:10:20,201
that's slightly less very stupid.
213
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,527
But that's my idea.
214
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:23,796
You are an evil, evil nerd.
215
00:10:23,921 --> 00:10:25,788
Gedgie out.
216
00:10:27,642 --> 00:10:29,911
We'll show him who's stupid.
217
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,809
♪ ♪
218
00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:04,721
Linda?
219
00:11:04,887 --> 00:11:07,482
Borbo, the so-called common cold,
220
00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:09,885
introduced by living
fossil Philip J. Fry,
221
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:11,820
is spreading out of control.
222
00:11:11,945 --> 00:11:14,389
All citizens are advised
to wash their hands thoroughly
223
00:11:14,514 --> 00:11:16,591
after beating up Philip J. Fry.
224
00:11:16,716 --> 00:11:18,927
Phew! Lucky I'm safely
locked up here with you guys.
225
00:11:19,052 --> 00:11:20,395
There he is!
226
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,763
Get him!
227
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:23,932
Ow! Ow! Ow! Wait!
228
00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:26,001
The situation is expected
to deteriorate
229
00:11:26,126 --> 00:11:29,304
as newscasters whip
the city into a panic.
230
00:11:29,429 --> 00:11:32,007
Run! Run for your lives!
231
00:11:38,538 --> 00:11:42,050
And finally, the heartwarming
story of a handicapped magician
232
00:11:42,175 --> 00:11:44,342
who didn't know when to give up.
233
00:11:49,015 --> 00:11:51,359
I don't like the looks
of this, Mr. President.
234
00:11:51,484 --> 00:11:53,728
Shall I switch it off?
235
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:55,396
Negative.
236
00:11:55,521 --> 00:11:57,365
Rosemary,
release the surgeon general.
237
00:11:57,631 --> 00:11:59,167
ROSEMARY:
Get in there!
238
00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:01,502
Ow! It's bright out here.
239
00:12:01,627 --> 00:12:03,938
Wernstrom, the quarantine has failed.
240
00:12:04,063 --> 00:12:05,974
Give me a worst case scenario.
241
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,809
And make it grim.
242
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:09,744
I've prepared some projections.
243
00:12:10,019 --> 00:12:11,846
Should the virus escape Manhattan,
244
00:12:11,971 --> 00:12:14,615
this is how far
it will spread in 12 hours.
245
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:16,284
This is 24 hours.
246
00:12:16,409 --> 00:12:18,119
This is a Verizon coverage map.
247
00:12:18,244 --> 00:12:21,756
And in 36 hours, it will have
infected the entire planet.
248
00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:22,623
Options?
249
00:12:22,748 --> 00:12:23,992
We have only one option.
250
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:26,728
Protocol 62.
251
00:12:26,853 --> 00:12:28,162
Not possible.
252
00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:29,630
We don't have arly enough piranhas.
253
00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:33,792
Then protocol 63 it is.
254
00:12:38,764 --> 00:12:40,208
Hooray!
255
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,552
They're letting us out!
256
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:44,078
And hundreds of black hovercopters
257
00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:45,737
are coming to welcome us!
258
00:13:03,781 --> 00:13:06,171
They shrink-wrapped the whole city.
259
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:07,786
Well, it could be worse.
260
00:13:09,537 --> 00:13:11,373
It is worse!
261
00:13:37,523 --> 00:13:39,275
Oh!
262
00:13:39,441 --> 00:13:41,569
They're flying
Manhattan into the sun!
263
00:13:41,735 --> 00:13:43,490
They must have been out of piranhas.
264
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,021
They're gonna kill the virus
by exposing it
265
00:13:46,146 --> 00:13:47,909
to the heat of our burning bodies!
266
00:13:48,075 --> 00:13:51,121
I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.
267
00:13:51,287 --> 00:13:52,908
What good is a wool...?
268
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:04,752
Guys! Guys, you're never
gonna believe this!
269
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:05,769
We know!
270
00:14:05,894 --> 00:14:08,339
They shmooped up Manhattan
and blasted us toward the sun!
271
00:14:08,464 --> 00:14:13,210
They did? Oh, so that's
why this was unguarded.
272
00:14:13,335 --> 00:14:15,212
People of New New York,
273
00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,708
this is Surgeon General
Ogden Wernstrom.
274
00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:19,116
Wern...
275
00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:23,046
...strom!
276
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:25,422
No doctor likes hurling
his patients into the sun,
277
00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,057
but since there is no way
278
00:14:27,182 --> 00:14:28,992
to make a vaccine
for the common cold...
279
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,529
There is a way to make a vaccine!
280
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,465
There is? Yay!
281
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:36,727
Of course,
there's a catch.
282
00:14:36,992 --> 00:14:38,402
Yay! Yay!
283
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:40,314
So what's the catch?
284
00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:42,539
The vaccine requires the original,
285
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:45,652
unmutated 20th-century cold virus,
286
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,512
so I need to grind you into a paste.
287
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,532
Professor, no!
288
00:14:50,698 --> 00:14:52,182
It's okay, Leela.
289
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:53,751
This is all my fault sort of.
290
00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:55,552
If this will save you, then please,
291
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,087
turn me into a virus milkshake.
292
00:14:57,212 --> 00:14:58,655
He consented!
You all heard it!
293
00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:08,322
♪ ♪
294
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:14,972
Yes, sir, many of these
entries merit a ride
295
00:15:15,097 --> 00:15:17,541
in the mighty bosom
of our space shuttle.
296
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:21,855
And then there's
your so-called entry.
297
00:15:24,315 --> 00:15:27,277
Geez! Walk much, Gedgie?
298
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:28,919
Absurd. You really think
299
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,323
your guinea pig can survive
in the vacuum of space?
300
00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:33,624
He already survived
in the vacuum of my mom.
301
00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,744
I mean, my mom's vacuum.
302
00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:38,362
My experiment measures
the effect of microgravity
303
00:15:38,487 --> 00:15:40,464
on the propagation
of the common cold virus
304
00:15:40,589 --> 00:15:43,267
in an anaerobic environment,
i.e., space.
305
00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,961
Impressed?
306
00:15:45,127 --> 00:15:46,470
Damn right I am.
307
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,939
That's some dry, emotionless science.
308
00:15:49,064 --> 00:15:50,926
Nice job, son.
309
00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:57,347
Hey, wait a second!
310
00:15:57,472 --> 00:15:59,983
I know where you can get some
20th century cold virus
311
00:16:00,108 --> 00:16:01,436
without killing me!
312
00:16:01,602 --> 00:16:05,055
Hush, lad.
I'm totally in the zone.
313
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:08,025
We just have to find the
Nerd Search '88 satellite.
314
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:12,496
Oh! I don't know why
I even build these things.
315
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:20,437
Gunnery Chief Bender,
blast us out of quarantine.
316
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,172
Aye aye, lady!
317
00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:27,444
Oh, fiddlepoop!
318
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,213
Our weapons aren't strong enough
319
00:16:29,338 --> 00:16:31,481
to puncture a thin
plastic tent that thick.
320
00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:33,350
No, but theirs are!
321
00:16:35,143 --> 00:16:38,140
Captain, a ship is attempting
to break the quarantine.
322
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:40,958
Blow them to Bac-O bits
with a well-placed warning shot.
323
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,644
But...
324
00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:44,151
Oh!
325
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:51,501
Oops.
326
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,437
We'll find that cold virus.
327
00:16:53,562 --> 00:16:55,906
The Nerd Search satellite was
launched on the space shuttle
328
00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,541
and released into orbit.
329
00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:02,779
Hmm. All ancient satellites were
swept up as space junk in 2113.
330
00:17:02,904 --> 00:17:04,114
I actually knew that offhand.
331
00:17:04,239 --> 00:17:06,149
I'm Facebooking right now.
332
00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:08,552
Aha!
333
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:11,221
That satellite was scuttled
on Enceladus,
334
00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:13,924
Saturn's main dump moon.
335
00:17:14,049 --> 00:17:15,316
Let's dump it up!
336
00:17:23,559 --> 00:17:25,535
This is the exact location of the dump,
337
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,471
but there's nothing here.
338
00:17:27,596 --> 00:17:29,373
Can we please go home and die now?
339
00:17:29,498 --> 00:17:31,308
I'm with Bender.
340
00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,010
Whatever was here has been covered
341
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,178
by centuries of ice buildup.
342
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:37,014
No! It's under here somewhere!
343
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,493
We just have to bust our way down.
344
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,184
Remember the code of the ice.
345
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:43,854
Thin and crispy, way too risky!
346
00:17:50,931 --> 00:17:52,964
I found the satellite!
347
00:17:53,221 --> 00:17:58,268
Let's just hope
the experiment's still in here.
348
00:17:58,552 --> 00:18:00,570
Yes! We're saved!
349
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:05,876
And now, to present the awards,
our very special guest.
350
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,611
He walked on the moon,
351
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:10,580
and now he is judging
a high school science contest.
352
00:18:10,705 --> 00:18:13,884
Truly a man who can
and will do anything:
353
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,385
Dr. Buzz Aldrin!
354
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:20,023
Wow. I could have used
an introduction like that
355
00:18:20,148 --> 00:18:22,626
when I first met the moon men.
356
00:18:25,246 --> 00:18:27,597
But seriously, there are moon men.
357
00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:31,168
Okay, this year's
Nerd Search runner-up
358
00:18:31,293 --> 00:18:34,504
is a young man who devised
a way to add and subtract
359
00:18:34,629 --> 00:18:40,410
in zero gravity-- Vijay Patel
and his calculator space hat!
360
00:18:45,073 --> 00:18:46,717
And now, the grand prize winner
361
00:18:46,842 --> 00:18:50,020
whose experiment will be
launched into space...
362
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:55,125
Look at that cocky smirk.
363
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,028
My money's on Gedgie.
364
00:18:57,194 --> 00:18:59,463
Yeah? He may have brains,
but I have heart.
365
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:01,398
Josh Gedgie!
366
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,159
I'll bring the car around.
367
00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:20,517
What a well-prepared virus culture.
368
00:19:20,642 --> 00:19:23,286
This will make a fine vaccine.
369
00:19:23,411 --> 00:19:25,155
Good thing Gedgie won.
370
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,457
My dumb experiment wouldn't
have lasted an hour in space,
371
00:19:27,582 --> 00:19:29,459
let alone a thousand years.
372
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:32,629
Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my
guinea pig in the parking lot.
373
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,331
Okay.
374
00:19:34,456 --> 00:19:37,501
Come on, gang,
let's go inoculate everyone
375
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:41,095
and cram Manhattan
back into its rightful hole.
376
00:19:51,165 --> 00:19:53,016
This may hurt a little.
377
00:19:53,141 --> 00:19:54,551
Ow!
378
00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:57,587
Now I'll give you the shot.
379
00:19:57,712 --> 00:20:00,157
You saved millions of lives, Fry.
380
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,584
You should feel proud, no matter
what your dad said to you.
381
00:20:13,662 --> 00:20:15,539
You still haven't thanked me
382
00:20:15,664 --> 00:20:18,068
for pulling you out
of the lake, soldier.
383
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,190
I could have flip-flopped out.
384
00:20:20,315 --> 00:20:21,135
I know that.
385
00:20:23,705 --> 00:20:27,317
Look, son, I know I give you
the business sometimes.
386
00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:30,454
But if I'm hard on you,
it's only 'cause I want you
387
00:20:30,579 --> 00:20:33,023
to grow up strong and resilient.
388
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:36,050
Some day, you may face
adversities so preposterous,
389
00:20:36,175 --> 00:20:38,595
I can't even conceive of them.
390
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,156
But I know you'll pull through
and make me proud.
391
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:44,462
I love you, son.
392
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,114
Now bundle up.
393
00:20:58,239 --> 00:21:00,165
I don't want you getting frozen.
394
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:04,906
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com