1
00:00:00,048 --> 00:00:01,932
Previously
on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:05,031
My brother-- he's got
a big crush on Bernadette.
3
00:00:06,371 --> 00:00:09,405
You're moving
back to India?
4
00:00:15,662 --> 00:00:16,996
What's going on?
5
00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:21,334
It's-It's not
what it looks like.
6
00:00:24,455 --> 00:00:26,973
What does it look like?
7
00:00:28,976 --> 00:00:32,678
It's not what it looks like.
8
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:37,517
It's not what it looks like.
9
00:00:37,519 --> 00:00:39,185
What are you grinding about?
10
00:00:39,187 --> 00:00:42,405
Penny's brain teaser
this morning.
11
00:00:42,407 --> 00:00:44,023
She and Koothrappali
12
00:00:44,025 --> 00:00:46,242
emerge from your bedroom.
13
00:00:46,244 --> 00:00:49,779
She is disheveled, and Raj
is dressed only in a sheet.
14
00:00:49,781 --> 00:00:55,001
The sole clue:
"It's not what it looks like."
15
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,703
Just let it go, Sheldon.
16
00:00:57,705 --> 00:01:01,507
If I could, I would,
but I can't, so I shan't.
17
00:01:01,509 --> 00:01:03,709
Now, knowing Penny,
18
00:01:03,711 --> 00:01:06,879
the obvious answer is,
they engaged in coitus.
19
00:01:06,881 --> 00:01:08,431
But...
20
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:10,166
since that's
what it looked like,
21
00:01:10,168 --> 00:01:13,419
we can rule that out.
22
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,520
Let's put on
23
00:01:14,522 --> 00:01:17,523
our thinking cap, shall we?
24
00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:24,947
Raj is from India,
a tropical country.
25
00:01:24,949 --> 00:01:26,649
Third World hygiene.
26
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:30,019
Parasitic infections are common,
such as pinworms.
27
00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:31,621
Mm-hmm.
The procedure
28
00:01:31,623 --> 00:01:33,372
for diagnosing pinworms
is to wait
29
00:01:33,374 --> 00:01:35,241
until the subject is asleep,
30
00:01:35,243 --> 00:01:37,844
and the worms crawl out
of the rectum for air.
31
00:01:43,867 --> 00:01:46,169
Yes, just like that.
32
00:01:47,354 --> 00:01:49,138
Penny could have been
33
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:51,641
inspecting Raj's anal region
for parasites.
34
00:01:51,643 --> 00:01:53,176
Oh, boy.
35
00:01:53,178 --> 00:01:55,228
That's a true blue friend.
36
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:59,232
They slept together, Sherlock.
37
00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:01,267
No, you weren't listening.
38
00:02:01,269 --> 00:02:04,687
She said
it's not what it looks like.
39
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,106
She lied.
40
00:02:09,977 --> 00:02:12,195
Oh.
41
00:02:13,363 --> 00:02:16,749
Don't I look silly
sitting here wearing this?
44
00:02:25,126 --> 00:02:26,826
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
45
00:02:26,828 --> 00:02:29,262
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
46
00:02:29,264 --> 00:02:31,964
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
47
00:02:31,966 --> 00:02:34,617
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
48
00:02:34,619 --> 00:02:36,552
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
49
00:02:36,554 --> 00:02:38,521
♪ Bang! ♪
50
00:02:38,546 --> 00:02:42,046
The Big Bang Theory 5x01
The Skank Reflex Analysis
Original Air Date on September 22, 2011
51
00:02:42,071 --> 00:02:45,571
== Encoded, Ripped, Synced & Corrected by
$H@uN ==
52
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:52,900
Hey.
53
00:02:52,902 --> 00:02:53,734
Hey.
54
00:02:53,736 --> 00:02:55,736
Hey.
55
00:02:57,201 --> 00:02:59,670
Hey.
56
00:03:06,315 --> 00:03:08,266
Leonard, is it awkward for you
57
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:11,102
knowing that one of your dear
friends had sexual intercourse
58
00:03:11,104 --> 00:03:12,970
with a woman you used to love
59
00:03:12,972 --> 00:03:15,606
in the very place
you lay your head?
60
00:03:17,693 --> 00:03:19,794
No, I'm fine with it.
61
00:03:19,796 --> 00:03:21,946
That sounds like sarcasm,
62
00:03:21,948 --> 00:03:23,981
but I'm going to disregard it,
63
00:03:23,983 --> 00:03:26,701
because I have an agenda--
paintball.
64
00:03:26,703 --> 00:03:28,152
Specifically,
the interdepartmental
65
00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:29,587
tournament this weekend.
66
00:03:29,589 --> 00:03:32,656
In order to function better
as a fighting unit,
67
00:03:32,658 --> 00:03:35,492
I thought we should establish
a chain of command.
68
00:03:35,494 --> 00:03:36,961
Now, it goes
without saying
69
00:03:36,963 --> 00:03:38,913
that I would outrank
the three of you,
70
00:03:38,915 --> 00:03:41,883
but the question remains,
by how much?
71
00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:43,134
Now,
72
00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:45,770
I don't see me
as some four-star general,
73
00:03:45,772 --> 00:03:47,688
back at HQ riding a desk
74
00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:49,807
and playing golf
with the Secretary of Defense.
75
00:03:49,809 --> 00:03:51,859
But I also can't be
Sergeant Cooper,
76
00:03:51,861 --> 00:03:53,277
because that might lead you
77
00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:55,646
to think of me
as just a regular Joe.
78
00:03:55,648 --> 00:03:58,182
This might take some thought.
As you were.
79
00:03:58,184 --> 00:03:59,951
What the hell is wrong with you?
80
00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:01,619
Yeah, how could
you do that?
81
00:04:01,621 --> 00:04:04,155
- What is it to you?
- I got his back.
82
00:04:04,157 --> 00:04:06,023
Yeah, right. You're just jealous
because it turns out
83
00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:07,524
I'm Penny's
number two choice after Leonard.
84
00:04:07,526 --> 00:04:11,379
Hey, if I wasn't engaged
to Bernadette,
85
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,997
that totally could have been me.
86
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:16,000
Please. Sheldon would have been
before you,
87
00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:19,053
and he might not even
have genitals!
88
00:04:19,055 --> 00:04:20,421
Why do you care so much?
89
00:04:20,423 --> 00:04:21,706
You're dating my sister,
90
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,474
and Penny and I are in love.
91
00:04:23,476 --> 00:04:24,809
What?!
92
00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:28,062
Gentlemen,
if I may interject,
93
00:04:28,064 --> 00:04:30,381
I've decided my rank
will be captain.
94
00:04:30,383 --> 00:04:33,234
If it's good enough for
Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo,
95
00:04:33,236 --> 00:04:35,403
it's good enough for me.
96
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,638
You're not in love with Penny.
97
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,023
Yes, I am.
98
00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:42,944
The god Kamadeva has shot us
with his flowery arrows of love.
99
00:04:42,946 --> 00:04:44,078
Who?
100
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,463
He's the Hindu version of Cupid,
101
00:04:45,465 --> 00:04:48,916
but way better,
because he rides a giant parrot.
102
00:04:48,918 --> 00:04:53,004
Raj, come on. You fall in love
with any girl who smiles at you.
103
00:04:53,006 --> 00:04:56,257
A month ago, you were writing
poems about his fiancée.
104
00:04:57,242 --> 00:04:59,343
I'm sorry. What?!
105
00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:02,380
Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.
106
00:05:02,382 --> 00:05:05,582
"Oh, Bernadette,
please play my clarinet."
107
00:05:06,918 --> 00:05:10,271
That could have been
about anyone.
108
00:05:11,189 --> 00:05:12,589
Besides, you have nothing
to worry about,
109
00:05:12,591 --> 00:05:16,427
because now I'm the dusky half
of Koothrapenny.
110
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,530
For the record,
I do have genitals.
111
00:05:20,765 --> 00:05:23,684
They're functional
and aesthetically pleasing.
112
00:05:34,663 --> 00:05:36,947
Well.
113
00:05:39,168 --> 00:05:41,535
Oh. Coming.
114
00:05:41,537 --> 00:05:43,037
Yup, that's good.
115
00:05:43,039 --> 00:05:45,389
Wine glasses
should have handles.
116
00:05:47,142 --> 00:05:50,177
Keeping accurate track
of your alcohol intake.
117
00:05:50,179 --> 00:05:52,430
Smart idea considering
how trampy you get
118
00:05:52,432 --> 00:05:54,131
when you've had a few.
119
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,916
You heard what I did?
120
00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:57,652
Well, I heard who you did.
121
00:05:58,905 --> 00:06:01,605
Oh, my God,
122
00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:03,307
I screwed up everything.
123
00:06:03,309 --> 00:06:04,909
I hurt Leonard.
124
00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:06,110
I hurt Raj.
125
00:06:06,112 --> 00:06:07,912
I mean, what is wrong with me?
126
00:06:07,914 --> 00:06:09,980
I feel like
two totally different people--
127
00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:13,200
Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.
128
00:06:13,202 --> 00:06:15,536
Don't be so hard on yourself.
129
00:06:15,538 --> 00:06:18,372
Do you know the story
of Catherine the Great?
130
00:06:18,374 --> 00:06:19,340
No.
131
00:06:19,342 --> 00:06:20,657
She ruled Russia
132
00:06:20,659 --> 00:06:22,343
in the late 1700s,
and one night,
133
00:06:22,345 --> 00:06:24,161
when she was feeling
particularly randy,
134
00:06:24,163 --> 00:06:26,013
she used an intricate
system of pulleys
135
00:06:26,015 --> 00:06:28,983
to have intimate
relations with a horse.
136
00:06:28,985 --> 00:06:31,552
I'm... I'm sorry.
137
00:06:31,554 --> 00:06:33,270
What does this have
to do with me?
138
00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:36,307
She engaged in
interspecies hanky-panky,
139
00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:38,859
and people still
call her "Great."
140
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:40,344
I'm sure your
reputation can survive
141
00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:42,863
you shagging a
little Indian boy.
142
00:06:52,074 --> 00:06:53,991
You jerk face!
143
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:56,477
What did you tell Howard?!
144
00:06:56,479 --> 00:06:58,746
Did you say there was something
going on between us?
145
00:06:58,748 --> 00:06:59,947
Because he thinks there is!
146
00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:02,416
He's completely freaking out!
147
00:07:02,418 --> 00:07:05,169
Please, come in.
148
00:07:05,171 --> 00:07:07,538
- What the hell is wrong with you?!
- Well...
149
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,641
You were always so nice to me,
I thought maybe you liked me.
150
00:07:10,643 --> 00:07:14,412
I'm nice to everyone!
151
00:07:14,414 --> 00:07:16,313
I'm sorry.
152
00:07:16,315 --> 00:07:18,265
Damn right, you're sorry!
153
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:21,852
And you tell Howard there's
never been anything between us!
154
00:07:21,854 --> 00:07:24,822
- I will. Hey, Bernadette?
- What?!
155
00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:26,907
Do you think
I have a shot with Penny?
156
00:07:26,909 --> 00:07:29,059
Of course you do.
You're a cutie pie!
157
00:07:29,061 --> 00:07:32,062
Any girl would be lucky
to have you!
158
00:07:35,233 --> 00:07:37,401
You know, I've
done this before.
159
00:07:37,403 --> 00:07:38,919
In kindergarten,
160
00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:40,871
I was supposed to marry
Jason Sorensen at recess,
161
00:07:40,873 --> 00:07:42,673
but by the time
my class got out there,
162
00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,959
he was already engaged
to Chelsea Himmelfarb.
163
00:07:46,094 --> 00:07:47,244
So what did I do?
164
00:07:47,246 --> 00:07:48,879
Hung upside down
from the monkey bars,
165
00:07:48,881 --> 00:07:52,349
let all the boys see
my underpants.
166
00:07:52,351 --> 00:07:53,634
You can't blame yourself.
167
00:07:53,636 --> 00:07:56,253
When your prefrontal cortex
fails to make you happy,
168
00:07:56,255 --> 00:07:58,922
promiscuity rewards you with
the needed flood of dopamine.
169
00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:03,427
We neurobiologists refer
to this as the "skank reflex."
170
00:08:03,429 --> 00:08:04,862
You know what?
171
00:08:04,864 --> 00:08:06,447
Let's get out of here.
172
00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:07,731
Where are we going?
173
00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:09,600
Somewhere where no
one's seen me naked.
174
00:08:09,602 --> 00:08:11,452
We may have to
drive awhile.
175
00:08:19,161 --> 00:08:22,580
Subtlety isn't
her strong suit, is it?
176
00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:24,915
Can I stay at your
place for a few nights?
177
00:08:24,917 --> 00:08:26,050
Really?
178
00:08:26,052 --> 00:08:29,239
A best friend sleepover? Yay.
179
00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:32,640
Yeah, sure. Yay!
180
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,508
We'll make popcorn,
stay up all night
181
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:37,478
and I'll teach you
my secret language, Op.
182
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,563
- Sounds great.
- Nope.
183
00:08:39,565 --> 00:08:42,566
Sounds "Gop Rop E A Top."
184
00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:45,436
- Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag.
- No, you're not.
185
00:08:45,438 --> 00:08:50,074
You're gonna
"Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop."
186
00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:58,115
Do we really have
to wear this camouflage crap
187
00:08:58,117 --> 00:09:00,167
to play paintball?
188
00:09:00,169 --> 00:09:01,452
Who said that?
189
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:03,671
Leonard, I can
hear your voice,
190
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,623
but I can't see you.
191
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:09,176
I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.
192
00:09:09,178 --> 00:09:11,045
Oh, there you are!
193
00:09:11,047 --> 00:09:12,996
Leonard,
194
00:09:12,998 --> 00:09:16,350
I know you're upset
about recent events, and
195
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:17,852
I have someone
here to help.
196
00:09:17,854 --> 00:09:19,520
I don't want
to talk to Amy.
197
00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:22,506
No, it's not Amy.
198
00:09:22,508 --> 00:09:24,475
Hello, dear.
199
00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:26,477
You called my mother?
200
00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:27,695
Oh, Leonard,
201
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,648
is it really necessary
to caption the obvious?
202
00:09:30,650 --> 00:09:33,968
He's been like that
since he was a toddler.
203
00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,953
"Look, Mommy-- a butterfly."
204
00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:38,339
Maddening.
205
00:09:39,691 --> 00:09:41,458
What's going on?
What do you want?
206
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:42,743
Sheldon informed me
207
00:09:42,745 --> 00:09:44,962
that you're experiencing
an emotional upheaval,
208
00:09:44,964 --> 00:09:46,397
and I'm here to help.
209
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:48,899
That's so nice.
210
00:09:48,901 --> 00:09:51,352
And we're back to the obvious.
211
00:09:52,554 --> 00:09:54,088
Now, what's up?
212
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:57,591
Well, uh... okay.
213
00:09:57,593 --> 00:09:59,643
Um...
214
00:09:59,645 --> 00:10:01,896
I don't want to get
back together with Penny.
215
00:10:01,898 --> 00:10:05,182
We tried it, it was crazy,
it didn't work,
216
00:10:05,184 --> 00:10:06,684
but I can't deal with the fact
217
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:08,769
that she slept
with my friend Raj.
218
00:10:08,771 --> 00:10:11,054
And then I find out
that Raj's sister Priya,
219
00:10:11,056 --> 00:10:13,524
who I've been going out with
for eight months,
220
00:10:13,526 --> 00:10:14,992
is moving back to India.
221
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:18,395
So I'm just completely confused
and alone.
222
00:10:18,397 --> 00:10:19,914
I understand.
223
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:21,565
Got any advice?
224
00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,751
Yes. Buck up.
225
00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:26,870
Excuse me.
226
00:10:26,872 --> 00:10:28,455
You're a world-renowned expert
227
00:10:28,457 --> 00:10:30,207
in parenting
and child development,
228
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:32,242
and all you've got is "Buck up"?
229
00:10:32,244 --> 00:10:34,044
Sorry.
230
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:35,763
Buck up, sissy pants.
231
00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:39,216
Thanks, Mother.
I feel much better.
232
00:10:39,218 --> 00:10:41,185
If you need any more help
from me,
233
00:10:41,187 --> 00:10:43,604
my books are available
on Amazon.
234
00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:45,806
Logging off.
235
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:55,202
...ninety-nine,
one hundred.
236
00:10:55,203 --> 00:10:59,422
It's like a waterfall
of liquid gold.
237
00:10:59,424 --> 00:11:00,857
My turn.
238
00:11:05,763 --> 00:11:08,081
You know,
I don't even know what the point
239
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,516
of me staying in L.A. is.
240
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:12,269
I haven't gotten a single acting
job since I moved out here.
241
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:14,220
The closest I came
was last month,
242
00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:16,756
I got a callback
for a hemorrhoid commercial.
243
00:11:16,758 --> 00:11:21,011
Oh, I could so see you being
the face of hemorrhoids.
244
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,730
I know, right?
245
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:26,933
Maybe I should just
move back to Nebraska.
246
00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:29,035
No, I can't let
you do that.
247
00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:30,103
Why not?
248
00:11:31,106 --> 00:11:32,555
For the first
time ever,
249
00:11:32,557 --> 00:11:33,990
I have a thriving
social life.
250
00:11:33,992 --> 00:11:34,958
And no pressure,
251
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,211
but it kind of
lives and dies with you.
252
00:11:40,114 --> 00:11:41,114
Hi, Amy.
253
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:42,332
Can I talk to Penny?
254
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,751
A guest in my trundle bed
and a boy at my door?
255
00:11:44,753 --> 00:11:49,255
I wish I could tell 13-year-old
me "it does get better."
256
00:11:49,257 --> 00:11:51,174
How did you know I was here?
257
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:53,459
It's all over her
Facebook page.
258
00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:58,848
I'll take your stuff
to the bedroom
259
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,483
and clear out a drawer.
Thanks.
260
00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:03,403
No problem. Try and keep it
in your pants, okay?
261
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:08,307
So, hi.
262
00:12:08,309 --> 00:12:09,409
What's up?
263
00:12:09,411 --> 00:12:11,494
I was wondering if
you're free Friday.
264
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,580
They're having a Totally
'80s Night at the Greek.
265
00:12:13,582 --> 00:12:15,415
Hall & Oates,
Katrina and the Waves
266
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:17,584
and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo.
267
00:12:17,586 --> 00:12:19,452
Oh.
268
00:12:19,454 --> 00:12:21,504
Gee, that's really sweet,
but the thing is...
269
00:12:21,506 --> 00:12:23,490
Aw, there's a thing.
270
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,625
Look, honey, I was really drunk
271
00:12:25,627 --> 00:12:27,344
and made a huge mistake
last night.
272
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,012
We should've never
slept together.
273
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:30,797
It's what ruins friendships.
274
00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:33,049
You can't ruin a friendship
with sex.
275
00:12:33,051 --> 00:12:37,070
That's like trying to ruin ice
cream with chocolate sprinkles.
276
00:12:38,606 --> 00:12:39,606
Come here.
277
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:41,941
Just listen to me.
278
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:44,561
I want to go back
to the way we were before.
279
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:46,229
You know, friends.
280
00:12:46,231 --> 00:12:48,365
No sprinkles.
281
00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:52,936
Oh.
282
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,037
All right.
283
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:56,406
Thank you.
284
00:12:58,526 --> 00:13:00,493
Well, uh...
285
00:13:00,495 --> 00:13:05,382
as your friend, you might
like to know that, um...
286
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:14,090
we didn't have sex in
the conventional sense.
287
00:13:17,528 --> 00:13:19,562
Oh, God.
288
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:22,982
Did you pull some weird
Indian crap on me?
289
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,485
No, no.
290
00:13:27,054 --> 00:13:29,722
After we got undressed
and jumped in bed,
291
00:13:29,724 --> 00:13:32,275
you-you asked if
I had protection.
292
00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:33,660
Oh, you did, didn't you?
293
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:35,578
Of course. I'm
always packing.
294
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,614
Anyway,
295
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,566
um, I had trouble
putting it on
296
00:13:40,568 --> 00:13:43,837
and you tried
to help and...
297
00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:49,692
that was all
she wrote.
298
00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:56,382
So, we didn't actually...
299
00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:57,383
I did.
300
00:13:57,385 --> 00:13:59,402
It was beautiful.
301
00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:04,641
Oh!
302
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,092
Penny, please,
please promise me
303
00:14:06,094 --> 00:14:07,560
you won't tell
anybody about this.
304
00:14:07,562 --> 00:14:09,095
Of course I won't.
No, I won't.
305
00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,064
Oh, good.
306
00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:12,832
Um, can I tell
people that our love
307
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:14,117
burned too bright
and too quickly?
308
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,936
Kind of a "Candle
in the Wind" deal?
309
00:14:16,938 --> 00:14:17,987
Sure.
310
00:14:17,989 --> 00:14:19,706
Cool. Can I say
it fell apart
311
00:14:19,708 --> 00:14:21,774
because you were all, "I
want to have your babies""
312
00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:24,928
and I was like, "I'm too rock
and roll to be tied down"?
313
00:14:26,447 --> 00:14:27,497
No.
314
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:31,468
Can I say I ruined
you for white men?
315
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:36,089
Also no.
316
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:37,307
Okay, just the
candle thing.
317
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,458
Yeah.
318
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:41,177
Cool.
319
00:14:41,179 --> 00:14:43,313
All right... friend.
320
00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:44,514
Hmm.
321
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,799
I'll see you around.
322
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:47,684
Okay.
323
00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:51,621
Raj, wait.
324
00:14:55,642 --> 00:14:58,778
Thank you for being my friend.
325
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:00,646
Penny?
326
00:15:00,648 --> 00:15:01,831
Mm-hmm?
327
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,283
It's getting
beautiful again.
328
00:15:06,987 --> 00:15:09,455
All right, this is
a Google Earth view
329
00:15:09,457 --> 00:15:11,341
of the field
of battle.
330
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:12,592
I don't see anything.
331
00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,711
Give it a
second to load.
332
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:16,495
Whenever you're
ready, AT&T!
333
00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:19,349
Okay, here we go.
334
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,935
This is us here.
To the south is Professor Loomis
335
00:15:21,937 --> 00:15:23,303
and the Geology Department.
336
00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:26,139
According to their Twitter feed,
they're out of sunblock,
337
00:15:26,141 --> 00:15:30,560
which means they'll have to hug
the tree line or risk melanoma.
338
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,529
That's our edge.
339
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,181
All we have to do is move
quickly over this ridge,
340
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:36,566
the rock-worshipping
pasty-faced bastards
341
00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:37,850
won't know what hit them!
342
00:15:37,852 --> 00:15:40,036
All right, let's move out.
343
00:15:40,871 --> 00:15:42,956
Hang on, Sheldon.
344
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:46,826
How could you not tell me your
sister was moving back to India?
345
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:49,245
Maybe he was too busy
writing clumsy penis metaphors
346
00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:51,247
about my fiancée.
347
00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,382
Screw you.
348
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:55,518
That was a beautifully written
penis metaphor.
349
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:01,424
You know what, guys, I'm not
in the mood for paintball.
350
00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:03,226
What do you say
we just bag it?
351
00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:04,978
- Fine with me.
- Sure, whatever.
352
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:06,379
You can't quit.
353
00:16:06,381 --> 00:16:08,131
That's a court-
martial offense.
354
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,600
That's punishable by...
355
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,518
You can't quit.
356
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:16,239
Sorry, Sheldon, it's just not
a good time for playing games.
357
00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:18,557
This is a game to you?
358
00:16:18,559 --> 00:16:21,828
Uh, was the Battle of Antietam
a game?
359
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,948
Huh? Was the sack
of Rome a game?
360
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:28,567
Yes, no and no.
361
00:16:28,569 --> 00:16:29,869
Wait.
362
00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:34,674
I just want you all to know
that I forgive you.
363
00:16:34,676 --> 00:16:37,293
This mutiny
isn't your fault,
364
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:39,245
it's mine.
365
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:41,431
I haven't earned these bars.
366
00:16:48,255 --> 00:16:49,806
Although what I lack
in leadership,
367
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:53,226
apparently I more than
make up for in sewing.
368
00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:55,261
Let it go, Sheldon.
369
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,614
I'll get you a Jamba Juice
on the way home.
370
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:58,615
No.
371
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,951
Jamba Juice is for heroes.
372
00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:06,272
And that's what
we're going to be.
373
00:17:07,992 --> 00:17:09,325
What are you doing?
374
00:17:09,327 --> 00:17:14,613
Following in the footsteps
of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.
375
00:17:27,144 --> 00:17:31,180
Geology isn't a real science!
376
00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:51,284
Damn those sons
of bitches!
377
00:17:51,286 --> 00:17:52,835
Let's get 'em!
378
00:17:52,837 --> 00:17:54,653
Eat paint!
379
00:17:59,826 --> 00:18:01,844
If there's ever
a Church of Sheldon,
380
00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:04,497
this will be when it started.
381
00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:08,151
Ow!
382
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:11,003
I'd like to
propose a toast
383
00:18:11,005 --> 00:18:14,607
to the man whose noble
sacrifice inspired our victory,
384
00:18:14,609 --> 00:18:16,359
Captain Sheldon Cooper.
385
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,894
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
386
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,730
Excuse me.
It's Major Sheldon Cooper.
387
00:18:21,398 --> 00:18:22,848
With my last breath,
388
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:26,152
I awarded myself
a battlefield promotion.
389
00:18:26,754 --> 00:18:28,287
It's kind of a big deal.
390
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:33,042
Hi. You guys have a minute?
391
00:18:34,628 --> 00:18:36,862
Uh, yeah, sure.
392
00:18:36,864 --> 00:18:38,498
Okay.
393
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,133
Um...
394
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:42,635
Well, I already talked to Raj,
but I wanted to apologize
395
00:18:42,637 --> 00:18:43,920
to the rest of you for,
396
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:46,806
you know, everything.
397
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:48,474
Please, Penny, let me.
398
00:18:48,476 --> 00:18:53,262
We've decided to let our crazy,
wonderful night together
399
00:18:53,264 --> 00:18:55,982
be just one of those
memories you have
400
00:18:55,984 --> 00:18:58,101
and can call to mind
when you're feeling blue
401
00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:00,203
or you're in the shower.
402
00:19:02,055 --> 00:19:04,240
Hey, what you doing,
Quick Draw?
403
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,614
Sorry. Go on.
404
00:19:13,251 --> 00:19:16,035
Anyways, I wanted you guys all
to know that I've been taking
405
00:19:16,037 --> 00:19:19,005
a really hard look at things
and come to the conclusion
406
00:19:19,007 --> 00:19:20,923
I have to stop kidding myself.
407
00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:23,009
I suck at acting.
408
00:19:23,011 --> 00:19:25,678
It's time for me
to move back to Nebraska.
409
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,580
You're leaving?
410
00:19:27,582 --> 00:19:28,881
Yeah.
411
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:30,850
What are you
going to do in Nebraska?
412
00:19:30,852 --> 00:19:33,719
I don't know,
maybe teach acting.
413
00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,689
Oh, sorry. Hold on.
414
00:19:36,691 --> 00:19:38,141
Hello?
415
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:40,926
Penny, listen, I hope you're not
doing this 'cause of you and me,
416
00:19:40,928 --> 00:19:43,262
because I have a girlfriend,
and you're a single woman...
417
00:19:43,264 --> 00:19:44,430
Shh! It's my agent,
it's my agent.
418
00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:45,731
You're kidding.
419
00:19:45,733 --> 00:19:46,699
Oh, my gosh.
420
00:19:46,701 --> 00:19:48,534
I can't believe it!
Really?!
421
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:49,602
Oh, I'm so excited!
422
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:50,570
Thank you!
423
00:19:50,572 --> 00:19:51,788
Thank you so much.
424
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,072
Okay, bye.
425
00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:54,574
I got the hemorrhoid commercial!
426
00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:55,758
I start Monday!
427
00:19:57,795 --> 00:19:59,495
What about Nebraska?
428
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:00,496
Oh, hell with Nebraska.
429
00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:02,632
I'm gonna be a star!
430
00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:06,135
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
431
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,259
Have you ever thought
of teaching physics?
432
00:20:23,652 --> 00:20:25,436
Ready to ride?
433
00:20:25,437 --> 00:20:27,187
I don't think
so, Mom.
434
00:20:27,189 --> 00:20:28,905
Not today.
435
00:20:28,907 --> 00:20:30,157
Oh, sweetie.
436
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:32,492
Hemorrhoids acting up again?
437
00:20:32,494 --> 00:20:34,644
You don't know the half of it.
438
00:20:34,646 --> 00:20:36,813
Oh, yes, I do.
439
00:20:36,815 --> 00:20:39,282
Try a dab of this.
440
00:20:40,818 --> 00:20:44,704
"Rose-scented
Preparation-H for women?"
441
00:20:44,706 --> 00:20:48,975
Now, the "H" is for "her."
442
00:20:52,764 --> 00:20:54,481
I'm proud of you.
443
00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:55,415
Shh!
444
00:20:55,417 --> 00:20:56,583
Here comes
my joke.
445
00:20:56,585 --> 00:20:58,552
How you doing?
446
00:20:58,554 --> 00:21:02,172
Sittin' pretty.
447
00:21:02,669 --> 00:21:08,668
== Encoded, Ripped, Synced & Corrected by
$H@uN ==