1
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NARRATOR:
Previously on The Big Bang Theory:

2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:04,753
My brother...

3
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:07,506
...he's got a big crush on Bernadette.

4
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,883
You're moving back to India?

5
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,600
What's going on?

6
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,269
[CHUCKLES]

7
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,771
It's not what it Iooks like.

8
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,108
[DOOR OPENS AND THEN CLOSES]

9
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,360
What does it look like?

10
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:39,121
It's not what it Iooks like.

11
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,831
What are you grinding about?

12
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,959
Penny's brain teaser this morning.

13
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,755
She and Koothrappali
emerge from your bedroom.

14
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:51,633
She is disheveled
and Raj is dressed only in a sheet.

15
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:56,555
The sole cIue:
It's not what it Iooks like.

16
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,349
Tsk, just let it go, SheIdon.

17
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,936
If I could, l would,
but I can't, so I shan't.

18
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,354
Now...

19
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:08,442
...knowing Penny, the obvious answer is
they engaged in coitus.

20
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:14,573
But since that's what it looks Iike,
we can rule that out.

21
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,952
Let's put on our thinking caps,
shall we?

22
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,961
Raj is from lndia, a tropical country,
third-world hygiene...

23
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:31,590
...parasitic infections are common,
such as pinworms.

24
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,384
-Mm-hm.
-The procedure for diagnosing pinworms...

25
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,553
...is to wait until the subject is asleep...

26
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,264
...and the worms crawl out of the rectum
for air.

27
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,564
Yes, just like that.

28
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Penny could have been inspecting
Raj's anal region for parasites.

29
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,865
Oh, boy, that's a true-blue friend.

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00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,035
They slept together, Sherlock.

31
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,203
[HICCUPS]

32
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,830
No, you weren't Iistening.

33
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:06,250
She said, "lt's not what it looks like."

34
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,544
She lied.

35
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,590
Oh.

36
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:18,178
Now don't I look silly
sitting here wearing this?

37
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-Hey.
-Hey.

38
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:58,677
Hey.

39
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,937
Leonard, is it awkward for you...

40
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,024
...knowing one of your dear friends
had sexual intercourse...

41
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,777
...with a woman you used to Iove
in the very place you lay your head?

44
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,371
But I'm gonna disregard it
because l have an agenda. Paintball.

45
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,958
Specifically, the interdepartmental
tournament this weekend.

46
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,170
Now, in order to function better
as a fighting unit...

47
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,839
...I thought we should establish
a chain of command.

48
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:39,259
Now, it goes without saying
that I would outrank the three of you.

49
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,221
But the question remains,
by how much?

50
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:47,100
Now, l don't see me
as some four-star general back at HQ...

51
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:50,354
...riding a desk and playing golf
with the Secretary of Defense.

52
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:54,316
But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper
because that might lead you...

53
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:58,487
...to think of me as a regular Joe. This
might take some thought. As you were.

54
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,990
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-How could you do that?

55
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,825
-What is it to you?
-I got his back.

56
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,786
Yeah, right.
You're jealous because...

57
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,289
...I'm Penny's number-two choice
after Leonard.

58
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,168
Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette,
that totally could have been me.

59
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,505
PIease. Sheldon wouId've
been before you...

60
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,383
...and he might not even
have genitals.

61
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:22,052
Why do you care so much?
You're dating my sister...

62
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,887
...and Penny and I are in love.

63
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,222
-What, heh?
-What?

64
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,433
Gentlemen, if I may interject.

65
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,978
I've decided my rank will be captain.

66
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,647
If it's good enough for Kirk,
Crunch and Kangaroo...

67
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,691
...it's good enough for me.

68
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,944
-You're not in Iove with Penny.
-Yes, I am.

69
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:43,282
The god Kamadeva has shot us
with his flowery arrows of love.

70
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,034
-Who?
-He's the Hindu version of Cupid...

71
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:49,246
...but way better
because he rides a giant parrot.

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00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:53,292
Raj, come on, you falI in love
with any girl who smiles at you.

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00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,420
A month ago, you were writing poems
about his fiancée.

74
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,631
I'm sorry, what?

75
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,759
Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.

76
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,721
[MlMlCKlNG RAJESH]
Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet

77
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:10,475
That could have been about anyone.

78
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:15,105
You have nothing to worry about,
because now l'm the dusky half...

79
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,565
...of Koothrapenny.

80
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,693
For the record, l do have genitaIs.

81
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,864
They're functional
and aesthetically pleasing.

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00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,629
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

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Oh. Coming.

84
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,300
Yup, that's good.

85
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Wine glasses should have handles.

86
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,557
Keeping accurate track
of your alcohol intake.

87
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:54,436
Smart idea, considering how trampy
you get when you've had a few.

88
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,313
You heard what l did?

89
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,232
-WeIl, I heard who you did.
-Ugh.

90
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:04,237
Oh, my God, I screwed up everything.

91
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:08,200
I hurt Leonard, l hurt Raj.
I mean, what is wrong with me?

92
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,452
I feel like two totally different people.

93
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,538
Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.

94
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,750
Don't be so hard on yourself.

95
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,628
-Know the story of Catherine the Great?
-No.

96
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:24,424
She ruled Russia in the late 1 700s, and
one night when she was feeling randy...

97
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:29,304
...she used an intricate system of pulleys
to have intimate reIations with a horse.

98
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,642
I'm sorry,
what does this have to do with me?

99
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,436
She engaged
in inter-species hanky-panky...

100
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,271
...and people stiIl calI her great.

101
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,026
I'm sure your reputation can survive
you shagging a IittIe lndian boy.

102
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,990
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

103
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,162
You jerk-face!

104
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,998
What did you tell Howard?

105
00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,335
You say there's something going on
between us? He thinks there is.

106
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He's completely freaking out!

107
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PIease, come in.

108
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,926
What the hell is wrong with you?

109
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,971
You were always so nice to me,
I thought maybe you liked me.

110
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,683
I'm nice to everyone!

111
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,854
-I'm sorry.
-Damn right, you're sorry.

112
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,190
And you tell Howard
there's never been anything between us.

113
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,317
I wiIl. Hey, Bernadette.

114
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,320
-What?
-Do you think l have a shot with Penny?

115
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:32,200
Of course, you do. You're a cutie pie.
Any girl would be lucky to have you.

116
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,165
You know, I've done this before.

117
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,460
In kindergarten, I was supposed
to marry Jason Sorensen...

118
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:46,381
...but by the time my class got out there,
he was engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb.

119
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,217
What did l do? Hung upside down
from the monkey bars...

120
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:51,970
...let all the boys see my underpants.

121
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,055
You can't blame yourself.

122
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,850
When your pre-frontal cortex faiIs
to make you happy...

123
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,311
...promiscuity rewards you
with dopamine.

124
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:03,732
We neurobiologists refer to this
as the skank reflex.

125
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,819
-You know what? Let's get out of here.
-Where are we going?

126
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,905
Somewhere
where no one's seen me naked.

127
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,782
We may have to drive a while.

128
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,958
Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?

129
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,629
Oh, can I stay at your place
for a few nights?

130
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:29,382
Really? A best-friend sleepover? Yay.

131
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,053
Yeah, sure. Yay, heh.

132
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,515
We'll make popcorn, stay up all night,
and I'll teach you my secret language.

133
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:37,849
[SPEAKlNG GIBBERISH]

134
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,477
-Sounds great.
-Nope. Sounds:

135
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,812
[SPEAKlNG GIBBERISH]

136
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,942
-Yeah, l'm gonna go pack a bag.
-No, you're not. You're gonna:

137
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,819
[SPEAKlNG GIBBERISH]

138
00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:00,497
Do we really have to wear
this camoufIage crap to play paintball?

139
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:05,919
Who said that? Leonard,
I can hear your voice, but I can't see you.

140
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,922
I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.

141
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,341
Oh, there you are.

142
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:16,012
Leonard, I know you're upset
about recent events...

143
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,306
...and I have someone here to help.

144
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,766
I don't wanna talk to Amy.

145
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,477
Yeah-- No, it's not Amy.

146
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,813
Hello, dear.

147
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,940
You called my mother?

148
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,986
Oh, Leonard, is it really necessary
to caption the obvious?

149
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,447
He's been like that
since he was a toddler.

150
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,575
"Look, Mommy, a butterfly."

151
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,410
Maddening.

152
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,788
What's going on?
What do you want?

153
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:45,292
Sheldon informed me that you're
experiencing an emotional upheaval...

154
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,668
...and I'm here to help.

155
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,212
That's so nice.

156
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,506
And we're back to the obvious.

157
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,384
Now, what's up?

158
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,219
WeIl, uh....

159
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,722
Okay, um....

160
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,267
I don't wanna get back with Penny.

161
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,729
We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work.

162
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:09,149
But I can't deal with the fact
that she slept with my friend, Raj.

163
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,402
And then I find out
that Raj's sister, Priya...

164
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,572
...who I've been going out with,
is moving back to lndia.

165
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,700
So I'm just completely confused
and alone.

166
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,201
l understand.

167
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:23,913
-Got any advice?
-Yes. Buck up.

168
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,960
Excuse me,
you're a world-renowned expert...

169
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,547
...in parenting and child development,
and all you've got is "buck up"?

170
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,090
Sorry.

171
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,925
Buck up, sissy pants.

172
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,640
-Thanks, Mother, l feel better.
-If you need any more help...

173
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,933
...my books are available on Amazon.

174
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,894
Logging off.

175
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,274
Ninety-nine...

176
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,318
...1 00.

177
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,155
It's like a waterfall of liquid goId.

178
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,823
My turn.

179
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,117
[CLEARS THROAT]

180
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,330
[SlGHS]

181
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,540
Don't know what the point of staying
in L.A. is.

182
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,585
I haven't gotten a single acting job
since I moved out here.

183
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:14,756
The closest l came was Iast month. l got
a callback for a hemorrhoid commercial.

184
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,802
Oh, l could so see you
being the face of hemorrhoids.

185
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,429
I know, right?

186
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,100
Ugh, maybe l shouId just move back
to Nebraska.

187
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:28,186
-No, I can't let you do that.
-Why not?

188
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,521
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

189
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,190
For the first time ever,
I have a thriving social life.

190
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,069
And no pressure,
but it kind of lives and dies with you.

191
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,532
Hi, Amy, can I talk to Penny?

192
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,951
A guest in my trundle bed
and a boy at my door?

193
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:46,955
I wish I could tell 1 3-year-old me
it does get better.

194
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:52,168
-How did you know I was here?
-It's aIl over her Facebook page.

195
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,633
-I'll take your stuff and clear a drawer.
-AIl right, thanks.

196
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,636
No problem.
Try and keep it in your pants, okay?

197
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,182
So....

198
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,600
Hi, what's up?

199
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,646
Wondering if you're free Friday.
They're having '80s night at the Greek.

200
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:15,775
HalI & Oates, Katrina and the Waves,
and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo.

201
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,736
Oh, heh.

202
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:21,573
-That's really sweet, but the thing is--
-Oh, there's a thing.

203
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,535
Look, honey, l was really drunk
and made a huge mistake last night.

204
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,997
We should have never slept together.
It's what ruins friendships.

205
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,291
You can't ruin a friendship with sex.

206
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:35,044
That's like trying to ruin ice cream
with chocolate sprinkles.

207
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,339
Come here. Just--

208
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,258
Listen to me. l--

209
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,677
I wanna go back
to the way we were before.

210
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,345
You know, friends.

211
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,347
No sprinkles.

212
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,143
Oh.

213
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,564
-AIl right.
-Thank you.

214
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:56,566
[SlGHS]

215
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,776
WeIl, uh....

216
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:58,985
[CLEARS THROAT]

217
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:03,907
...as your friend,
you might Iike to know that, um...

218
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:12,040
...we didn't have sex
in the conventional sense.

219
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:21,090
Oh, God, did you pull
some weird lndian crap on me?

220
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,552
No, no.

221
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,889
After we got undressed
and jumped in bed...

222
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,391
...you asked if I had protection.

223
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,728
-Oh, you did, didn't you?
-WeIl, of course. l'm always packing.

224
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,733
Anyway, um, l had trouble putting it on...

225
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,737
...and you tried to help, and....

226
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,659
That was alI she wrote.

227
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:57,377
-So we didn't actually--
-I did. It was beautiful.

228
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:02,841
Oh.

229
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,677
Penny, promise me
you won't tell anybody about this.

230
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,012
-Of course, l won't.
-Oh, good.

231
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,222
[SlGHS]

232
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,308
And, uh, can I tell people that our love
burned too bright and too quickIy?

233
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,019
Kind of a Candle in the Wind deal?

234
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,729
-Sure.
-Oh, good.

235
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,899
It fell apart because you're all,
"l wanna have your babies"...

236
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,902
...and I was like:
"l'm too rock 'n' roIl to be tied down"?

237
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,531
No.

238
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,450
Can I say l ruined you for white men?

239
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,289
AIso no.

240
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,916
-Okay, just the candIe thing.
-Yeah.

241
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,294
Cool.

242
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:40,712
AIl right.

243
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,630
-Friend.
-Hmm.

244
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,675
-I'll see you around.
-Okay.

245
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,680
Raj, wait.

246
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,394
Thank you for being my friend.

247
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,814
-Penny.
-Mm-hm.

248
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,358
It's getting beautiful again.

249
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:09,449
AIl right. This is a Google Earth view
of the field of battle.

250
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,911
-I don't see anything.
-Give it a second to Ioad.

251
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,662
Whenever you're ready, AT&T.

252
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,291
Okay, here we go. This is us, here.

253
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,336
To the south is Professor Loomis
and the Geology Department.

254
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:24,380
According to their Twitter feed,
they're out of sunblock...

255
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:28,551
...which means they'll have
to hug the tree line or risk melanoma.

256
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:33,181
That's our edge. All we have to do
is move quickly over this ridge.

257
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,643
The rock-worshipping, pasty-faced
bastards won't know what hit them.

258
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,519
Let's move out.

259
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,105
Hang on, Sheldon.

260
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:45,026
How could you not telI me
your sister was moving back to lndia?

261
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,654
Maybe he was busy
writing clumsy penis metaphors...

262
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,405
...about my fiancée.

263
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:53,493
Screw you. That was
a beautifully-written penis metaphor.

264
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,874
You know what?
Guys, l'm not in the mood for paintball.

265
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,126
-What do you say we just bag it?
-Fine.

266
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,545
-Sure, whatever.
-But you can't quit.

267
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:08,383
That's a court-martial offense.
That's punishable by--

268
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,718
You can't quit.

269
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:14,389
I'm sorry, Sheldon, it's just
not a good time for playing games.

270
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,641
This is a game to you?

271
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,353
Uh, was the Battle of Antietam
a game, huh?

272
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,106
Was the Sack of Rome a game?

273
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,651
Yes, no and no.

274
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,945
Wait.

275
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:32,865
I just want you all to know
that I forgive you.

276
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,451
This mutiny isn't your fault.

277
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,370
It's mine.

278
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,456
I haven't earned these bars.

279
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:51,300
AIthough what I lack in leadership,
I more than make up for in sewing.

280
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,888
Let it go, Sheldon. I'Il get you
a Jamba Juice on the way home.

281
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:59,934
No. Jamba Juice is for heroes.

282
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,148
And that's what we're going to be.

283
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,568
What are you doing?

284
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:13,322
Following in the footsteps
of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.

285
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,838
Geology isn't a real science.

286
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,424
[AlR RlFLES FIRING]

287
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:51,903
-Damn those sons of bitches!
LEONARD: Let's get them!

288
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,112
[ALL SHOUTING]

289
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:02,163
If there's ever a church of Sheldon,
this wilI be when it started.

290
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,291
Ow!

291
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:11,422
I'd like to propose a toast
to the man whose noble sacrifice...

292
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,509
...inspired our victory,
Captain Sheldon Cooper.

293
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:18,721
-Cheers!
-Excuse me, it's Major Sheldon Cooper.

294
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:24,102
With my last breath, I awarded myseIf
a battlefield promotion.

295
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,395
It's kind of a big deal.

296
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,231
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

297
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,025
Hi. You guys have a minute?

298
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:37,156
-Uh, yeah, sure.
-Okay, um....

299
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,366
[CLEARS THROAT]

300
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:42,078
WeIl, I already talked to Raj, but l wanted
to apoIogize to the rest of you...

301
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,956
...for, you know, everything.

302
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,165
PIease, Penny, let me.

303
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:47,375
[CLEARS THROAT]

304
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:51,629
We've decided to let our crazy,
wonderfuI night together...

305
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,006
...be just one
of those memories you have...

306
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:58,177
...and can call to mind when you're
feeling bIue or you're in the shower.

307
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,974
Hey, what you doing, quick draw?

308
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:09,939
Sorry. Go on.

309
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,232
[PENNY CLEARS THROAT]

310
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,403
Anyways, l wanted you to know that I've
been taking a really hard look at things...

311
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,073
...and come to the conclusion
I have to stop kidding myself.

312
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,117
I suck at acting.

313
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,786
It's time for me
to move back to Nebraska.

314
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,039
-You're leaving?
-Yeah.

315
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,041
What are you gonna do in Nebraska?

316
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,836
I don't know. Maybe teach acting.

317
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:33,671
[CELL PHONE RINGS]

318
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,798
Sorry. Hold on. Hello?

319
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,593
I hope you're not doing this
because of you and me...

320
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,387
...because I have a girlfriend
and you're a single--

321
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,890
Shh! It's my agent. It's my agent.
You're kidding.

322
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,642
Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it.
Really?

323
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,686
Oh, l'm so excited. Thank you.

324
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,564
Thank you so much. Okay, bye.

325
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,734
I got the hemorrhoid commercial.
I start Monday.

326
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,612
What about Nebraska?

327
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,823
Oh, hell with Nebraska.
I'm gonna be a star.

328
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,033
[DOOR OPENS]

329
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,659
[DOOR CLOSES]

330
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,209
Have you ever thought
of teaching physics?

331
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,343
Ready to ride?

332
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,011
I don't think so, Mom.

333
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,679
Not today.

334
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:24,972
Oh, sweetie.

335
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,308
Hemorrhoids acting up again?

336
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,393
You don't know the half of it.

337
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,604
Oh, yes, I do.

338
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,898
Try a dab of this.

339
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:39,654
"Rose-scented Preparation-H
for women?"

340
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:43,616
Now, the H is for her.

341
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,374
-I'm proud of you.
-Shh. Here comes my joke.

342
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,334
How you doing?

343
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,504
Sitting pretty.

344
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,534
[English - US - SDH]