1 00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:04,130 [Don] My name's Don Konkey. I take pictures. 2 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,331 That's my best friend, Lucy Spiller. 3 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,273 She's the editor of Dirt Now Magazine. 4 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,800 This is my girlfriend, Kira. She died of a drug overdose. 5 00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:15,642 - We've been living together since. - Thanks, baby. 6 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,479 We became a family last week. 7 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,145 Oh, wow! It's a boy! 8 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:23,222 It's time for you to go back on your meds. 9 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:26,019 - I don't want to be alone again. - You won't be. 10 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,787 [Don] But then she had to go. 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,796 That's Lucy's brother, Leo. He's dating some guy secretly. 12 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,231 - You can't keep a secret. - Nothing's going on. 13 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,201 Lucy hates secrets. She sent me to follow him. Guess what? 14 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:41,206 He's dating married action hero Jack Dawson. 15 00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,571 It is all about family. 16 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,873 [Don] Leo got really pissed off when Lucy showed him my photos. 17 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,505 I can't believe you're banging Jack Dawson. 18 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:51,448 You had your own brother followed by the stalkerrazzi! 19 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,645 - Don't act indignant. - I'm not going to publish these. 20 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,814 [Don] Pretty sneaky, sis. This is Holt McLaren. 21 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,053 His first day on the set of his big movie went well. 22 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,891 - I'm fine! - His girlfriend, Julia, not so much. 23 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:06,022 This is Prince Tyreese, basketball star. 24 00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:09,068 He's helping with the Aundre G story. People think he's dead. 25 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,536 - Tweety had his head... in a jar! - Lucy's one of them. 26 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:15,267 She asked me to find Aundre G and take some pictures. 27 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,901 Nice guy. Lonely. 28 00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:20,707 Seemed like your magazine was looking to diss Tweety. 29 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,408 Now that we know he's off on some island somewhere, 30 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:25,417 we won't be doing any stories on him. 31 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,249 - I told you not to go with this story! - This is solid. 32 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:32,587 I don't know if I told you, but I'm a highly functional schizophrenic. 33 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:36,288 I'm doing much better, but I definitely miss my dead girlfriend. 34 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:37,693 Kira... 35 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,130 Thank God for the kids. 36 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:46,167 It's Hollywood's happiest couple telling everyone the secret 37 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,866 to their successful marriage. 38 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,775 You know, like tips on how they've managed to be successful 39 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,405 where others failed, suggestions for the bedroom, 40 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,038 how to keep things fresh. 41 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,209 How long have they been married? 42 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,548 A year and... two months. 43 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,554 Let's wait six months and do the story 44 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,921 where she catches him doing a face plant on her personal assistant. 45 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,723 What is the problem here? I need a cover. You need jobs. 46 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,959 Seems like the perfect match, no? This is Hollywood. 47 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,626 Someone is getting screwed and somebody out there 48 00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:19,171 cannot wait to tell you about it. There's a cover out there somewhere. 49 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,538 It's not going to just walk through the front door! 50 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,774 [soft rock plays] 51 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,711 [dialing, beeping] 52 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,829 [man moaning] 53 00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:01,076 [man] Yeah. Oh, God. 54 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:03,672 Oh, Jesus. 55 00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:09,922 Oh, yeah. Oh! Ah! That's it. 56 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,625 Oh, incredible. 57 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:20,462 Oh, dude. Oh, you're amazing. 58 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:25,800 Oh, God. Oh, God. 59 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,841 Oh! Oh, God! 60 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,308 Get off of me, bitch. 61 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:35,507 [# Debby Holiday: Dig Deep] 62 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,496 - Lucy? - Yeah? 63 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:55,193 Well, I didn't see my Venus Smith article and I was wondering if... 64 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,736 That's because I'm not running it. 65 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,739 I kinda got the impression it was going to go this week. 66 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,071 Where did you get that impression? 67 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,269 I guess I just kind of assumed... 68 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,905 Well, you know what happens when you assume. 69 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:10,778 Yes, it makes an ass out of you and me. 70 00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:16,185 - No, it pisses me off. - Is it really just that arbitrary? 71 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,419 The short answer is, yes, it is. But I'll spell it out for you. 72 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:22,892 When I was done reading your piece, all I remembered was a typo. 73 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,931 It wasn't bad, but it was dull, and that's worse. 74 00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,869 [Lucy] Where the hell is everybody? 75 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,917 What are you doing? 76 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,357 Trying to see how much we weigh as a couple. 77 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,122 I've lost nine and a half pounds. 78 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,756 What's your secret? 79 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:04,860 This isn't funny. People just don't lose weight for no reason. 80 00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:07,497 - Honey, listen... - What? This just isn't normal. 81 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,906 - The blood test came back negative. - They should take more tests. 82 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,104 Hey, negative. 83 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:16,239 - How do we know? - The doctor says it's stress. 84 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,012 Just hear me out, all right? 85 00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:22,919 I mean, with your new movie and... and the accident, 86 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,049 and taking care of me, that's a lot. 87 00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:30,562 But I'm doing better now. So maybe I can take care of you. 88 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:41,070 Julia, what are you doing? 89 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:44,507 I'm just trying to relieve a little stress. Doctor's orders. 90 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:48,438 Julia, come on, just... 91 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,175 Julia... 92 00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:51,580 Come on. 93 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,744 Julia, could you just stop? 94 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,623 - Look, I'm sorry. - Go to hell. 95 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,653 Julia, I'm just nervous about this damn movie tomorrow. 96 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,666 Julia! 97 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,906 Are you sure? 98 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:25,177 I'm quite familiar with the act from all angles. 99 00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,481 And it was definitely a man? 100 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,849 - It was his trainer. - What's his name? 101 00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:35,655 Um, all I know is that he's red-headed 102 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:40,290 and has a March Of The Penguins bumper sticker on his van. 103 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,563 Suddenly I don't feel so special. 104 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:46,969 I didn't seek him out. OK, he seduced me. 105 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:50,702 I was there to do a job. He played me for a fool. 106 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:55,510 I want to expose his lying, cheating, trainer-blowing ass. 107 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:59,540 This just happened. Why don't you give it time to digest and... 108 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:04,419 Digest? Digest what? OK, a guy tells you that he loves you, 109 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:08,824 that you're the first guy he's ever been with or felt this way about. 110 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,661 Then you catch him with his dick in another guy's mouth? 111 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:15,223 If you tell me it's just sex, I'm cool with that. 112 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,064 You tell me you're falling in love, 113 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,934 that you want me to clear my schedule to be in New Zealand 114 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,372 while you shoot your picture, I'm thinking game on. 115 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:26,811 - I understand, but as your sister... - I don't want to talk with my sister. 116 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,007 I want to talk with the editor of Dirt Now. Is she in? 117 00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,846 You have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into. 118 00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:33,886 I trust you. 119 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,716 This has nothing to do with trusting me. 120 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:41,158 You want to out one of the biggest action stars in the world. 121 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:45,128 I would try to protect you, but there are no guarantees. 122 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,632 Do you really want to take that risk? 123 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,396 You bet your ass I do. 124 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:56,105 Good, 'cause this is a great goddamn story. 125 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,977 [Don] Hey, little girl. 126 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,479 Yeah, you. 127 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,450 Hey, Diane. 128 00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,783 Are you ready? 129 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,983 OK, Diane, I'm just gonna open your mouth 130 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:16,427 and then slide this tablet to the back of your throat. 131 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:20,555 Oh, yeah. Oh, you did very good, very good. 132 00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:25,502 Because you don't want to get worms. They can make you feel real sick. 133 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,300 It's OK now. 134 00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,432 [phone ringing] 135 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,076 What'cha doing? 136 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,511 Yeah? 137 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,921 OK. 138 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,496 [dialing, beeping] 139 00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:10,608 Hi. I'm supposed to meet Jack for a late lunch. 140 00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:14,642 I thought I punched the code in right. He gave it to me over the weekend. 141 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:19,054 We change that every week. He's out back by the pool. 142 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:23,084 Damn. I've got fabric samples in my car. Do you mind? 143 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,595 Yeah, make it quick. 144 00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,464 You have incredible lips, you know that? 145 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:15,672 They're just like Kira's. Thick, the color of plums. 146 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,913 She used to 147 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:23,046 suck on her bottom lip when she was messed up. 148 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,682 Like a pacifier, you know, Just... 149 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:32,756 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What's the matter, kitten? 150 00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,062 Kira loved you. 151 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,503 It's Holt she didn't like. 152 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:44,031 That's because he never stuck his dick in her. 153 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,079 She didn't think he was good enough for you. 154 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:53,049 She loved you. I can totally see why. 155 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:57,088 She knew you never leaked the pregnancy to the press. 156 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:06,456 Kira told me she told you. OK? 157 00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:11,492 She thought maybe you got drunk and told Holt and he leaked it. 158 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,537 She knew you wouldn't betray her like that. 159 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,338 She thought it was Holt. 160 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,073 No. Holt never knew. 161 00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,911 And if he did, he'd never betray me. 162 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:31,082 Oh, Julia, Julia, come on. [laughs] 163 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:34,126 This is Hollywood. 164 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:38,152 Betrayal should have its own star on the Walk of Fame. 165 00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:59,710 [dialing, beeping] 166 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,067 [man] Hey! 167 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,474 - What are you doing? - Shh! Shut up! 168 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:03,446 Oh, shit, you're real. 169 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,676 Get him! 170 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,412 Hey, hey, nice pool. I love the Greek urns. 171 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,819 The Romans, they stole all their culture from the Greeks. 172 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,552 You know, they liked it, so they just took it. 173 00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,171 [grunting] 174 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,999 Sit your ass down. 175 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,166 We found this in his pocket. 176 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,450 - What? - "What?" 177 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,865 Get him out of here. 178 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,597 Ow! Ow! Ow! 179 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,832 When you're done with him, come get this piece of shit right here! 180 00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:54,523 There you are. You got a second? Hello? 181 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,061 I said I need to speak with you. 182 00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:00,063 You asked if I had a second, and I don't. 183 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,225 May I ask what's so important? 184 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,270 - Don's in jail. - I'm sorry? 185 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,534 - I've gotta go bail him out. - Wait, what? No, no, no. 186 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,269 Don does not work for Dirt Now. He's freelance. 187 00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:14,039 We are under no obligation to him whatsoever. 188 00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,545 Interference might be construed as fidelity... 189 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:20,210 I'm bailing him out as a friend. You know what friends are, Brent? 190 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:24,052 Will you let me finish? You're setting us up for a lawsuit. 191 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:25,954 He has our next cover pictures on him. 192 00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:29,324 I don't care if he has pictures of Lindsay Lohan going down 193 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:33,263 on the ghost of Frank Sinatra! How he got them is my concern. 194 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,892 He got them by being the best photographer out there. 195 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,698 I know you're a busy woman, what with saving the planet 196 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:43,435 one drunken celebrity at a time, but there are amended statutes 197 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:46,603 you want to gloss over before you hang the magazine out to dry. 198 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:47,907 - Are you done? - Yes I am. 199 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,345 I'm gonna get my next cover. 200 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,711 Loved the friend angle. Almost had me on that one. 201 00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:02,020 That's looking beautiful, Holt. You can take a break if you'd like. 202 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,927 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 203 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,897 Get the girls in, please. 204 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,266 Does that car bring back some memories. My dad had a '67 goat. 205 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:14,898 If I could lose my virginity all over again, it'd be in the back seat. 206 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,068 Who am I kidding? It'd be Bora Bora. Back seat's a close second. 207 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,805 - She's a beauty. - She's yours. 208 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:23,404 - What are you talking about? - I knew you liked it. 209 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,851 I talked to the agency. They'd be thrilled to have you in their car. 210 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,289 Shut up. Get the hell out of here. Thank you. 211 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,918 Holt, we're ready for you. Could you step in, please? 212 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,724 - Get in there. - Honey, you're gonna look at him. 213 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:41,960 Sweetheart, you are not looking at a loaf of white bread. 214 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:45,333 He's important. That makes you important. 215 00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:48,168 That's it. 216 00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:52,369 I am moist. Am I right, girls? Holt, these are gonna be gorgeous. 217 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,878 We will hold them till after the Fincher release. 218 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:59,111 Oh, my God. Seriously, who's with me on the moist? Anyone? 219 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,310 - Please. - OK. 220 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:03,150 Julia. 221 00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,089 Hey, look who's here. 222 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,888 Hey, did you come to watch the shoot? 223 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,236 - Take one of us. - OK, very nice. 224 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:23,206 We need to get back to work, so could you please... 225 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:27,041 - She's pretty, isn't she, Holt? - Why don't you come and sit down? 226 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:31,014 You want to do us together? I bet you suck a mean dick. 227 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,574 - All right, sweetie. - Can I get a bottle of water? 228 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:37,986 Hey, you're missing his greatest asset. Here, honey, turn around. 229 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,491 He's got the best ass in the business. 230 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,891 - That's enough. - It's nothing next to his dick. 231 00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,519 Julia, that's enough, please. 232 00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:47,895 Which he won't screw me with anymore. 233 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,662 - Can I get that damn water? - Right here. 234 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,102 Why don't you make love to me anymore? 235 00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,736 Do you not love me? 236 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:01,373 Have some water, come on. 237 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:03,908 [screams] 238 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:07,543 - Holt, listen. Listen, Holt... - [Julia screams] 239 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:14,281 - Julia, stop! - This is about Julia, listen... 240 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,088 - Listen! Holt! - [sobbing] 241 00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:18,322 - Hey. Come here. - Holt! Listen to me. 242 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:22,298 More important than how she's behaving right now is how you handle it. 243 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:27,737 This could ruin her career. I know she's messed up from the painkillers. 244 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,673 - All right. - Let me do what you pay me to do. 245 00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:33,836 You can handle this in private, away from the cameras. Go. 246 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:43,146 Hi, I need a limo to take Julia Mallory home. 247 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:47,716 I'm at the shoot. No, I need it now. Yeah, she needs to go straight home. 248 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,819 How much? No, Town Car's fine. 249 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,869 I just want to know, is that normal procedure? 250 00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,302 I busted my ass on that piece. 251 00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:03,966 Tell me if I'm wrong to be upset and I'll let it go. 252 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,010 Willa. You want my advice? 253 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,512 - Yeah, of course. - Grow a pair. 254 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,912 - Pardon? - Your piece got spiked. 255 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,816 Write another one. End of story. If you'll excuse me, 256 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,946 these celebrities aren't going to screw themselves. 257 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,189 Yeah, all right, Carlson. 258 00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:24,718 What happens at The Standard stays at The Standard, right? 259 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,024 [woman] Sir, excuse me. 260 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,828 Oh, yeah. I'll talk to you next week. 261 00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:33,295 Can I help you? Uh, Nancy?! 262 00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:35,533 She's talking to one of my associates now, 263 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,405 but not to worry, we'll be brief. 264 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,206 I don't know how I can help either of you gentlemen. 265 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,044 How do you know? We haven't asked you anything yet. 266 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:48,783 But to be perfectly honest, I think you could be of a great help to us. 267 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:52,790 But then again, that just may be my overly optimistic nature. 268 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:53,825 What do you want? 269 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:58,659 We would like to know who gave up our boy in the Aundre G story. 270 00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,630 I don't know. 271 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,224 [laughs] This nigga, he's talking about... OK. 272 00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:06,863 Now, you're gonna sit up here in your big-ass expensive office 273 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,874 in your $2,000 suit, and your five-buck tie 274 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,773 and look me in my black face 275 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:15,609 and you're going to tell me that you don't know shit? Come on, man. 276 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:19,344 You the man. You know every detail that happens in this office. 277 00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,147 Am I right? Am I right? 278 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,745 - I think you're right. - Damn straight I'm right. 279 00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:27,986 I'm the publisher. It's not necessary I know who the source of a story is. 280 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,653 - Hmm. You see that, Maurice? - Yeah, I saw it. 281 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,289 - He saw what? - You looked down when you said that. 282 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:36,162 - So what? - So you're lying. 283 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:40,103 You broke eye contact. When people lie, they look away. That's a big tell. 284 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,696 Oh, my God. 285 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:47,678 [laughs] What do you gentlemen know about the free press? 286 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,011 Please, illuminate. 287 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,847 Confidentiality between the journalist 288 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,218 and his or her source is sacrosanct. 289 00:20:57,289 --> 00:21:00,656 Shield laws give journalists the legal protection 290 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,694 to keep the identity of a source private, 291 00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:06,423 even when police and prosecutors are threatening contempt and jail time. 292 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:10,559 Now, to betray that confidence is a breech of ethics so great, 293 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,934 it compromises the very foundation upon which 294 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,872 the whole of journalism is predicated. 295 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,373 Wow. 296 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,816 Thank you, sir, for educating two ignorant brothers 297 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:28,114 in journalistic ethics in the middle of your busy workday. 298 00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:29,744 Oh, man. 299 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,619 Is that a real KC Haxton? 300 00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,089 Haxton's the shit. 301 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,449 Oh, God! 302 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:13,064 - Don, are you OK? - Yeah. 303 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,667 - Do you have the film? - I think so. 304 00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:24,573 Do you need to go to the bathroom to get it? 305 00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:27,669 - No, it's not there. - Where then? 306 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:34,775 What's the quickest to remove it from his stomach? 307 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,481 We can send a tube down his throat 308 00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:39,319 and reach in and grab it with a claw. 309 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:43,724 Or we can do it laparoscopically. It's a little more involved. 310 00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,956 - What do you think, Don? - Claw. 311 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:49,398 - Will it damage the canister? - No. 312 00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:53,370 Stomach acid, on the other hand, can break down just about anything. 313 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:56,566 How the hell did you swallow a film canister? 314 00:22:56,641 --> 00:23:00,873 Can I be home by 6:00? Please? 315 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:04,410 That is so cute. 316 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:07,179 You better not be planning your wedding shit on my dime. 317 00:23:07,252 --> 00:23:10,153 I'm on my lunch, and it's actually baby shit. 318 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,918 No more tuna fish. The smell makes me sick. 319 00:23:12,991 --> 00:23:14,458 - Excuse me, Lucy? - Yeah? 320 00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:16,892 - Selena Torres wants to talk. - About what? 321 00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:18,122 Her side of the scandal. 322 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:22,132 She didn't sleep with the contestant until after he won American Dream. 323 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,430 She pretty much already said that. 324 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,267 But he's not the only contestant she slept with. 325 00:23:27,339 --> 00:23:30,502 - Why now? - Another one of them is coming forward. 326 00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:33,840 She wants to beat him to the punch. 327 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,573 And why you? 328 00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:38,013 Her publicist and I have a relationship. 329 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:41,612 No, it's a professional relationship. 330 00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:44,587 - Have it to me by noon tomorrow. - OK. 331 00:23:47,859 --> 00:23:50,794 - [woman] All right, thanks. - [phone ringing] 332 00:23:55,801 --> 00:23:57,268 - Hey. - [Lucy] Hi. 333 00:23:57,335 --> 00:24:01,101 - I need to see you tonight. - I can't. I gotta see Julia. 334 00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,470 You're going to want to hear what I have to say. 335 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:04,600 My house, 8:30. 336 00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:27,329 God, you are so beautiful. 337 00:24:32,170 --> 00:24:34,331 [retching] 338 00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,739 It's OK, baby bird. 339 00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,869 - You're all right. You're all right. - [groans] 340 00:24:42,447 --> 00:24:44,312 There. All better? 341 00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:47,180 OK. 342 00:24:47,285 --> 00:24:50,914 Just relax and enjoy the ride. 343 00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:03,023 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle little star 344 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:08,203 ♪ How I wonder 345 00:25:08,273 --> 00:25:10,707 [echoing] # Wonder 346 00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:14,438 ♪ Up above the world so high 347 00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:20,475 ♪ Like a diamond in the sky 348 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:26,123 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle little star 349 00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:31,662 ♪ How I wonder what you are ♪ 350 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:34,221 You know who you remind me of? 351 00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,333 No. 352 00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:39,495 Bobby Meserve. 353 00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:41,732 Who's that? 354 00:25:43,408 --> 00:25:45,569 He's the first boy I kissed. 355 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,207 Boys had kissed me before. 356 00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:56,050 But he was the first boy I kissed. 357 00:25:58,590 --> 00:26:00,217 He was so... 358 00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:05,054 ...so pretty. 359 00:26:12,871 --> 00:26:15,704 I like the way you look at me. 360 00:26:51,076 --> 00:26:53,169 [Lucy] I love them. What else you got? 361 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:57,977 This is all of it, which, considering where it came from, is pretty damn good. 362 00:26:58,049 --> 00:27:02,213 I think the one with his hands down your pants is a keeper. 363 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:03,720 Wow. 364 00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:06,552 - What is it? - You can really see it's me. 365 00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:09,185 Not for long. Photoshop the shit out of his face. 366 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:10,352 Not a problem. 367 00:27:10,428 --> 00:27:12,726 When Danielle's done, Mom won't know it's you. 368 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,425 - Sweet. - Thank you. 369 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:19,027 Come here. Do you wanna stay at my house? 370 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:22,267 Why? Are you going to nurse me back to health? 371 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:25,275 You're right. That's never really been my calling. 372 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,106 Remember when I had chickenpox? 373 00:27:27,178 --> 00:27:30,545 You stood in the doorway of my bedroom, threw a box of saltines at me. 374 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,618 - Told Mom and Dad you fed me lunch. - Technically, true. 375 00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:37,644 I was not much of a cook, either. The offer still stands. 376 00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:39,781 I know. 377 00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:45,458 Get out of here. 378 00:27:45,530 --> 00:27:48,499 Scott, I love you, I love you, I love you! 379 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,433 No problem, she needs to clear the air. It's a big scoop. 380 00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:56,270 I figured if I was gonna do a solid for a reporter, may as well be a hottie. 381 00:27:56,374 --> 00:27:59,138 - I owe you, Scott. Big time. - See you tonight? 382 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,110 il Misto. 7:30. 383 00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:04,915 Yes! 384 00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:06,677 Yes! 385 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,611 Hello, Gibson. 386 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,851 I just heard the damnedest story. 387 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:17,325 It was so ludicrous, I had to tell you in person. 388 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:26,865 I heard my magazine bailed out some psychotic photographer. 389 00:28:26,971 --> 00:28:32,307 Now, I thought, what kind of idiot 390 00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,904 would risk my holdings, not to mention their entire career, 391 00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:38,744 over some addled pap who nabs the occasional sagging tit 392 00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:41,216 or rumpled ass of some future Hollywood Square? 393 00:28:44,422 --> 00:28:46,720 Do you mind if I speak frankly? 394 00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:48,349 Oh, by all means. 395 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:52,396 Why do you give a shit? Have you seen the sell-through? 396 00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:57,401 Fifty-nine percent. People Magazine would suck your dick for those numbers. 397 00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:01,530 [laughs] Lucy, you haven't answered my question yet. 398 00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:04,700 - Am I going to get...? - Sued? Yeah, most likely. 399 00:29:04,776 --> 00:29:07,939 But that price tag is going to pale compared to what you pull in. 400 00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:11,538 Besides, you always told me, scared money doesn't make money. 401 00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:13,584 Neither does stupid money. 402 00:29:13,651 --> 00:29:17,587 What's a few million to you? You made that clearing your throat. 403 00:29:17,655 --> 00:29:22,490 Don Konkey had this week's cover sitting inside of him. 404 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,529 It was business. It was really good business. 405 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:29,124 OK. What's the cover? 406 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:34,160 Photos of Jack Dawson fondling another guy's nut sac. 407 00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:38,667 - Jack Dawson? - Mm-hmm. 408 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:45,810 That's not your average Hollywood fag story, I'll give you that. 409 00:29:47,385 --> 00:29:49,250 Oh, Lucy. 410 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,620 Well, I guess I came all this way for nothing. 411 00:29:53,691 --> 00:29:58,060 Actually, I think it's a pretty good time to talk about my raise. 412 00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:00,825 Have a seat, sweet pea. 413 00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:07,900 - There you are. - Hi! Hey. 414 00:30:07,972 --> 00:30:10,338 - You look amazing. - Oh, thank you. 415 00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:12,932 - Scott, party of two. - Follow me. 416 00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:14,478 Um, where's Selena? 417 00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:17,640 I didn't think we needed her here at this juncture. 418 00:30:17,715 --> 00:30:19,342 What do you mean? 419 00:30:19,417 --> 00:30:22,386 I have to have this on my editor's desk by noon tomorrow. 420 00:30:22,453 --> 00:30:25,718 Relax, Will, let's have some nice ltalian food, some wine. 421 00:30:25,790 --> 00:30:27,451 There's plenty of time, right? 422 00:30:27,525 --> 00:30:30,585 A bottle of the Santa Margherita, please. 423 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:32,493 Pinot Grigio's OK? 424 00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:36,657 - Scott, I need this story. - Sure, after we catch up. 425 00:30:36,734 --> 00:30:39,225 [laughs] What's the rush, right? 426 00:30:39,337 --> 00:30:42,704 Want me to call Luce, tell her to cool her heels? 427 00:30:42,774 --> 00:30:46,232 Your company reps Venus Smith, right? 428 00:30:46,377 --> 00:30:48,436 Yeah. She's a top feeder. 429 00:30:49,647 --> 00:30:52,377 I happen to know the doctor who stapled her stomach. 430 00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:55,351 There's no proof that she actually had that surgery... 431 00:30:55,420 --> 00:30:56,853 Don't screw with me, Scott. 432 00:30:56,921 --> 00:31:00,982 It's not speculative. I know. I talked with him. I have his story. 433 00:31:01,059 --> 00:31:05,621 Now, you have Selena in my office tomorrow morning, or I'm running it. 434 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:10,030 Then I'll have "Luce" call your boss and tell him it was all preventable. 435 00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:13,070 - You're full of shit. - Try me. 436 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:16,636 - Your wine. - Thank you. 437 00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:18,174 It's on him. 438 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:27,576 [chuckles] 439 00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:37,755 Dad, I think it's time. 440 00:31:42,333 --> 00:31:43,357 I know. 441 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:57,575 People, Us, OK, Star, everyone's going full bore 442 00:31:57,649 --> 00:32:01,710 - on your girlfriend's episode today. - It's her pain meds. 443 00:32:01,786 --> 00:32:04,346 We're adjusting the prescription. 444 00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:06,049 Know what might help sell that? 445 00:32:06,124 --> 00:32:11,426 If you look the press in the eye when you feed them that bullshit. 446 00:32:13,331 --> 00:32:14,798 What the hell am I doing here? 447 00:32:14,866 --> 00:32:19,235 We're covering it as "Julia Mallory's courageous battle with addiction." 448 00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:23,706 And how she's doing better thanks to her hot-ass boyfriend, Holt McLaren. 449 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,743 Am I supposed to thank you? 450 00:32:25,843 --> 00:32:30,610 Mm-hmm, yes. But not for that. 451 00:32:32,817 --> 00:32:34,978 - [classical music plays] - [food sizzling] 452 00:32:39,590 --> 00:32:41,558 Hello? 453 00:32:44,162 --> 00:32:47,427 What the hell are you guys doing here? 454 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:52,500 Well, if it isn't Mr. Ethics. I hope you brought your appetite. 455 00:32:57,542 --> 00:32:59,635 - Jack Dawson's gay? - Mm-hmm. 456 00:33:02,146 --> 00:33:03,841 And how do you know that? 457 00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:06,679 Because I have pictures of him and an unidentified man 458 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:10,482 frolicking by his pool. We're running it on tomorrow's cover. 459 00:33:10,555 --> 00:33:12,648 Holy shit. 460 00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:15,989 So unless America is suddenly OK with their action hero 461 00:33:16,060 --> 00:33:19,894 taking it up the ass, I think that pretty much opens the path 462 00:33:19,964 --> 00:33:23,491 for you getting the lead in Hard Charger. 463 00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:26,093 If you're gonna be the next big action hero, 464 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:28,331 you're going to have to bulk up. 465 00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:31,269 No, I'm a vegetarian. 466 00:33:32,910 --> 00:33:34,377 Then you're in for a treat. 467 00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:39,441 We're the top of the food chain. We can eat whatever we want. 468 00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:41,985 What about its pain and suffering? 469 00:33:43,388 --> 00:33:45,356 I didn't feel a thing. 470 00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:51,526 If God didn't want us to eat the weak, 471 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,723 then why did he make them so delicious? 472 00:33:55,533 --> 00:34:00,971 Besides, this isn't some indie bullshit where you play a tortured, 473 00:34:01,072 --> 00:34:06,032 Iove-struck, down-and-outter. No, this is a full-on, 474 00:34:06,110 --> 00:34:09,807 fight for your life, kill-or-be killed, 475 00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:13,373 hero-gets-the-girl action movie. 476 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,736 Could you guys tell me what the hell you want? 477 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:42,576 It's simple, really. We want to make you dinner. 478 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:46,138 - Maurice, don't burn that garlic. - I'm not. 479 00:34:46,217 --> 00:34:48,344 If you burn the garlic, you ruin the dish. 480 00:34:49,387 --> 00:34:54,689 See, when you pan-roast garlic, you're turning a starch into a sugar. 481 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:57,592 Then it makes it really sweet, but then if you burn it, 482 00:34:57,662 --> 00:34:58,993 it makes it too bitter. 483 00:34:59,063 --> 00:35:03,796 So it just takes a little bit of heat to render its sweetness. 484 00:35:03,868 --> 00:35:05,836 Hey, you got fennel? 485 00:35:07,038 --> 00:35:09,336 - What? - You got fennel, asshole? 486 00:35:09,407 --> 00:35:13,468 I don't know. I don't cook much. 487 00:35:13,544 --> 00:35:18,106 Man, then you are in for a treat, man. A home-cooked meal? [laughs] 488 00:35:18,216 --> 00:35:21,982 Maurice, he is an incredible cook. He studied in ltaly for two years. 489 00:35:22,086 --> 00:35:24,418 - Two and a half. - My bad. 490 00:35:24,522 --> 00:35:28,959 Do you know what Maurice is gonna prepare for your dinner? 491 00:35:31,496 --> 00:35:34,056 Your dick. [laughs] 492 00:35:36,701 --> 00:35:37,725 You're joking. 493 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:41,168 Oh,God! No! No! 494 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,298 God! Oh! 495 00:35:43,374 --> 00:35:48,334 That is a nice-sized cock for a white boy. You might have some leftovers. 496 00:35:48,446 --> 00:35:51,176 What do you want? Please! Jesus Christ, what do you want? 497 00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:54,708 You, uh... 498 00:35:54,785 --> 00:35:57,345 - Oh, God! - You know what this shit is? 499 00:35:57,455 --> 00:36:01,357 This is gonna cauterize you so that you don't bleed to death 500 00:36:01,425 --> 00:36:03,484 while you're enjoying your dick dinner. 501 00:36:03,594 --> 00:36:08,361 You see, first Maurice is going to chop off your dick, 502 00:36:08,466 --> 00:36:13,335 and then he's going to slice it into bite-sized pieces 503 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,565 to make it easier to chew. 504 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,801 Then we're gonna simmer it with some tomato, 505 00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:21,072 - and some fennel... - What do you want?! 506 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:23,943 I want you to stop asking me dumb-ass questions 507 00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:25,948 and tell me what I came here for. 508 00:36:31,556 --> 00:36:36,255 Tyreese. Tyreese. 509 00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:37,885 It's Tyreese. 510 00:36:40,331 --> 00:36:42,492 - The Prince? - Yes. The Prince. 511 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,970 Shh. Shh. Thank you. 512 00:36:57,982 --> 00:37:01,816 You need to season this butcher block. It's drying out. 513 00:37:09,827 --> 00:37:12,125 [Lucy] That wasn't so bad, was it? 514 00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:14,164 [Holt] No, it was good. 515 00:37:14,265 --> 00:37:16,893 - Hey, thanks for the heads-up. - Mm-hm. 516 00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:26,109 Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? 517 00:37:26,210 --> 00:37:30,306 - No, you're the first. - Wow, you're tough. 518 00:37:30,381 --> 00:37:32,815 You're on the verge of owning this town 519 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:35,750 and that's the best you can do, some generic compliment? 520 00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:39,586 What exactly is beautiful about me? Be specific. 521 00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:43,558 Is it my... my face? 522 00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:47,155 Is it my ass? My... 523 00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:51,167 Yes, and definitely, yeah. 524 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,168 - You're a moron. - And you're a nine. 525 00:37:56,841 --> 00:38:01,505 - Oh. Only a nine? - Mm. 526 00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:04,640 If you want to be a ten, it's really simple. 527 00:38:04,715 --> 00:38:06,478 OK, enlighten me. 528 00:38:10,154 --> 00:38:11,587 Shut up. 529 00:38:21,399 --> 00:38:22,889 Good night, Holt. 530 00:38:25,002 --> 00:38:26,867 Yeah, could have been. 531 00:38:34,779 --> 00:38:37,942 Aw, man! Shit, dawg. Again? 532 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:39,539 [hip-hop plays] 533 00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:42,950 Yeah, man, you can't be beating me at my own game, now. 534 00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:44,715 You should stick to the lnternet. 535 00:38:44,789 --> 00:38:47,849 You should have seen me last night by the airport. 536 00:38:47,925 --> 00:38:50,758 Nigga was cleaning up. 537 00:38:52,196 --> 00:38:55,290 Must've been with a broom, 'cause I ain't seen none of that here. 538 00:38:55,366 --> 00:38:56,458 Oh... 539 00:38:56,534 --> 00:38:59,025 - He's got a point. - Gimme them cards. 540 00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:03,563 My niggas. Mind if I sit in for a couple hands? 541 00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:09,079 Shit, man, your money feels just as good in my pocket as these punks'. 542 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:15,183 Wanna sit next to my boy. Down with that, Prince? 543 00:39:15,252 --> 00:39:18,085 Yeah, Tweet. Of course, man. 544 00:39:21,058 --> 00:39:22,320 All right, whose deal? 545 00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:25,226 Shit, you're holding the cards, nigga. 546 00:39:30,668 --> 00:39:31,794 Yeah. 547 00:39:50,621 --> 00:39:53,249 [coughing] 548 00:40:05,936 --> 00:40:08,598 Man! Again! 549 00:40:08,672 --> 00:40:11,368 Man, this must be your lucky night, boy. 550 00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:17,172 Can someone open a window? It's hot in here. 551 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:19,682 Prince, how's the knee, man? 552 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:23,311 It's good, Tweet. You know, just a little strain. 553 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:25,946 Good. You gotta take care of that shit, man. 554 00:40:26,023 --> 00:40:29,390 You can't play no basketball if your knees are gone. Right? 555 00:40:30,694 --> 00:40:32,321 True. 556 00:40:32,396 --> 00:40:33,727 You in or out? 557 00:40:35,833 --> 00:40:39,291 - I got physical rehab tomorrow. - You can't win and run. 558 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:42,396 Sit down, baby, hang out. Come on, sit down. Sit down. 559 00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:50,213 Yes, knees are very, very important. 560 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:53,842 Never mind basketball. Just every day walking around. 561 00:40:53,951 --> 00:40:55,714 Playing with your kids. 562 00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:57,344 Hell... 563 00:40:59,924 --> 00:41:03,860 ...you can't even handle your business if your legs don't work. 564 00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:08,024 Take the anterior cruciate. 565 00:41:09,166 --> 00:41:13,330 Man, when that bitch pops... Whoo! That's a world of hurt. 566 00:41:13,404 --> 00:41:16,271 Add to that the medial collateral. 567 00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:18,900 Shit, then we're talking major damage. 568 00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:22,878 Now, if done just... 569 00:41:23,614 --> 00:41:27,550 ...right, I mean, say it was deliberate, 570 00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:31,384 chances are that nigga never gonna stand upright again, 571 00:41:31,455 --> 00:41:33,685 never mind play no basketball. 572 00:41:33,791 --> 00:41:37,227 A lot depends on how it happens. 573 00:41:37,294 --> 00:41:41,856 A fall on the court, knee on knee, boom... 574 00:41:41,932 --> 00:41:44,492 Most likely you'll walk away from those. 575 00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:49,733 Four to six weeks, you're back covering Shaq's ass. 576 00:41:49,807 --> 00:41:54,642 But say a pipe or baseball bat... 577 00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:57,413 Now those are different. 578 00:41:57,481 --> 00:42:01,042 And some injuries are permanent. 579 00:42:07,391 --> 00:42:10,827 Take my boy, Aundre G. 580 00:42:10,895 --> 00:42:13,921 Y'all don't mind if he sits in a hand, do you? 581 00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:15,727 Naw, he good. 582 00:42:21,405 --> 00:42:23,839 I got a call. 583 00:42:23,908 --> 00:42:25,466 Cops were all up in my shit. 584 00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:28,011 [laughs] Worked out good though. 585 00:42:28,078 --> 00:42:31,809 Gimme a chance to have some quality time with Mr. G. 586 00:42:34,752 --> 00:42:36,276 Give me some creative space. 587 00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:39,245 Tweety! Nah, Tweety, come on, man! 588 00:42:39,323 --> 00:42:41,018 Tweety, naw, man... 589 00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,824 [pretending to sob] Mama! 590 00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:47,830 Don't be such a bitch, Prince. 591 00:42:47,898 --> 00:42:50,059 Have some dignity, nigga. 592 00:42:50,167 --> 00:42:52,533 You scared, Prince? 593 00:42:52,937 --> 00:42:54,302 Go to church. 594 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,935 Tweety does. Tweety loves church. 595 00:42:58,943 --> 00:43:01,639 [muffled shouting] 596 00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:13,417 - Worthless piece of shit! - No, listen to me! 597 00:43:13,557 --> 00:43:16,321 They... They came to my house. 598 00:43:16,393 --> 00:43:19,885 They were going to cut my dick off and feed it to me. 599 00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:22,899 - You gave up a source. - They were going to kill me. 600 00:43:22,967 --> 00:43:26,300 He's done. They don't even know if he's going to live. 601 00:43:26,370 --> 00:43:30,238 I did the same thing you'd have done if they threatened to cut your dick off. 602 00:43:30,307 --> 00:43:33,868 You're a riot. How do you even live with yourself? 603 00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:38,005 Excuse me? You blackmail a man to get a story, 604 00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:42,246 then threaten to ruin him, and then when the shit storm that you created 605 00:43:42,319 --> 00:43:45,288 comes to fruition, it's me who's the asshole? 606 00:43:45,389 --> 00:43:49,155 - Where are you in all of this? - I'm not the one who gave up a source. 607 00:43:49,226 --> 00:43:50,488 Oh, give me a... 608 00:43:52,663 --> 00:43:56,030 Know what I remember when I brought you in as editor of Dirt and Now? 609 00:43:56,133 --> 00:43:58,158 You moved into Pembroke's old office 610 00:43:58,235 --> 00:44:01,727 and he had that beautiful antique mirror, remember that? 611 00:44:01,805 --> 00:44:03,864 My God, it was worth thousands. 612 00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:07,069 First thing you did was have that taken down. 613 00:44:08,612 --> 00:44:11,911 - So? - So maybe it's time to put it back up. 614 00:44:27,965 --> 00:44:30,024 Is that what you think? 615 00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:33,661 That you can just shit all over me and this magazine? 616 00:44:33,771 --> 00:44:35,261 This is Dirt Now. 617 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,433 We've outsold every other weekly two weeks running, 618 00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:41,069 and we're about to make it a third. 619 00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:45,308 So you listen to me, you insignificant piece of shit. 620 00:44:45,382 --> 00:44:49,284 You're giving me this story because if you don't, 621 00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:52,186 Dirt Now will have a camera up your client's ass 622 00:44:52,256 --> 00:44:53,917 every second of every day. 623 00:44:53,991 --> 00:44:56,653 If she so much as blinks at another contestant, 624 00:44:56,727 --> 00:44:59,025 we're going to run that she's screwing him. 625 00:44:59,096 --> 00:45:02,395 Every pit stain, every ounce of cellulite, every photograph 626 00:45:02,466 --> 00:45:05,492 that makes her look retarded, will be splashed, full-color, 627 00:45:05,569 --> 00:45:10,097 in the pages of our magazine, and that's off the top of my head. 628 00:45:10,174 --> 00:45:12,108 Wait until I give it some real thought. 629 00:45:12,176 --> 00:45:16,476 You've got 20 minutes to get her contestant-nailing ass over here 630 00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:21,280 before I make her a pin-up girl for every STD known to man. 631 00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,748 - Lucy, I'm... - I'm gonna run this story. 632 00:45:28,826 --> 00:45:31,590 - Cover in-set. - Thank you. 633 00:45:31,695 --> 00:45:33,663 No. Thank you. 634 00:45:57,821 --> 00:45:58,981 Be gentle. 635 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:01,990 - Is he friendly? - Sure. 636 00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:04,084 Bye. 637 00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:06,493 - Bye. - Bye. 638 00:46:09,299 --> 00:46:11,426 You're gonna want to see this. 639 00:46:14,238 --> 00:46:15,364 Your friend, Leo? 640 00:46:16,707 --> 00:46:20,074 Turns out he's Lucy Spiller's brother. 641 00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:23,910 - That tabloid bitch? - Mm-hmm.