1
00:00:04,456 --> 00:00:05,475
What are you doing?
2
00:00:05,476 --> 00:00:08,010
Oh, uh, Priya's calling
in a few minutes on Skype,
3
00:00:08,011 --> 00:00:10,178
and we are gonna have
a dinner date.
4
00:00:12,014 --> 00:00:14,482
It's 8:00 in the morning
in Mumbai.
5
00:00:14,484 --> 00:00:16,634
How can she have dinner?
6
00:00:16,636 --> 00:00:17,685
Fine, whatever.
7
00:00:17,687 --> 00:00:19,070
Priya will be having breakfast.
8
00:00:19,072 --> 00:00:22,306
All right, so technically
it's not a dinner date.
9
00:00:22,308 --> 00:00:25,826
I suppose you could call it
a, uh, dinfast date.
10
00:00:25,828 --> 00:00:27,912
But if you did,
you'd open yourself
11
00:00:27,914 --> 00:00:29,647
to peer-based mocking, such as,
12
00:00:29,649 --> 00:00:33,201
"Hey, Leonard, how was your
dinfast with Priya last night?"
13
00:00:33,203 --> 00:00:35,119
That doesn't sound like mocking.
14
00:00:35,121 --> 00:00:37,038
You didn't let me finish.
15
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,090
Dinfast.
16
00:00:39,092 --> 00:00:41,158
Are those soy-based candles?
17
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,710
I don't know. Why?
18
00:00:42,712 --> 00:00:45,630
Paraffin candles
may contain carcinogens.
19
00:00:45,632 --> 00:00:47,998
Unless lung cancer
is the ambiance
20
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,468
you were going for
at your dinfast.
21
00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:52,803
Dinfast.
22
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:55,389
Listen, I don't
want to be rude,
23
00:00:55,391 --> 00:00:57,275
but Priya's gonna be
calling any minute, so...
24
00:00:57,277 --> 00:00:59,143
Oh, yes, Priya.
25
00:00:59,145 --> 00:01:03,147
Leonard, you know
I make a point of
26
00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:06,033
never interfering
in your personal affairs.
27
00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:11,105
Yes, I've always
admired that about you.
28
00:01:11,107 --> 00:01:12,540
As well you should.
29
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,825
But I'm going to make
an exception here.
30
00:01:14,827 --> 00:01:16,494
Oh, good.
31
00:01:16,496 --> 00:01:20,815
Priya has moved back to India
to pursue her law career.
32
00:01:20,817 --> 00:01:22,533
Instead of
desperately trying
33
00:01:22,535 --> 00:01:26,654
to keep this intercontinental
relationship alive,
34
00:01:26,656 --> 00:01:30,708
you could use that time
to take up a hobby.
35
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:33,060
A hobby?
36
00:01:33,062 --> 00:01:34,395
Yes.
37
00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:37,648
I read recently
about a fellow in Kansas
38
00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:40,234
with an enormous
ball of twine.
39
00:01:42,037 --> 00:01:45,122
I bet you could give him
a run for his money.
40
00:01:45,124 --> 00:01:48,326
You know, some people
might say that it's great
41
00:01:48,328 --> 00:01:50,561
that we're trying to make
things work long distance.
44
00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:59,620
When I rise to power,
those people will be sterilized.
45
00:01:59,622 --> 00:02:02,740
You video-chat with
Amy all the time.
46
00:02:02,742 --> 00:02:04,125
How is this different?
47
00:02:04,127 --> 00:02:05,626
Don't you like Amy?
48
00:02:05,628 --> 00:02:07,411
Of course I like Amy.
49
00:02:07,413 --> 00:02:08,713
Well, there's the difference.
50
00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:14,251
Excuse me,
that's Priya.
51
00:02:14,253 --> 00:02:15,436
Hi, Leonard.
52
00:02:15,438 --> 00:02:16,437
Hey, honey.
53
00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:17,638
I miss you.
54
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:18,839
Oh, I miss you, too.
55
00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:21,175
I miss the old days
when your romantic partners
56
00:02:21,177 --> 00:02:23,227
could be returned
to the video store.
57
00:02:26,264 --> 00:02:28,399
Thanks for
letting me stay here
58
00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:30,434
while Leonard
Skypes with his girlfriend.
59
00:02:30,436 --> 00:02:32,069
Oh, it's no problem.
60
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:33,788
It's actually kind of nice.
61
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:35,439
You reading, me reading.
62
00:02:35,441 --> 00:02:38,108
We're like an old
married couple.
63
00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,411
If we were
an old married couple,
64
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:44,065
the wife would serve
iced tea and snickerdoodles.
65
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:48,002
I don't have iced tea
and snickerdoodles.
66
00:02:48,804 --> 00:02:52,256
A good wife
would go to the store.
67
00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:55,643
I want a divorce.
68
00:02:55,645 --> 00:02:57,645
Good. On the way
to see the lawyer,
69
00:02:57,647 --> 00:02:59,513
pick up some tea and cookies.
70
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:07,271
I must say,
I am enjoying your new chair.
71
00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:08,639
It's great,
isn't it?
72
00:03:08,641 --> 00:03:09,640
It is.
73
00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:10,941
Aligns the lumbar,
74
00:03:10,943 --> 00:03:14,362
cradles the coccyx,
balances the buttocks.
75
00:03:14,364 --> 00:03:16,781
This is a chair
worthy of the name.
76
00:03:16,783 --> 00:03:17,865
What name?
77
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,185
Chair.
78
00:03:22,987 --> 00:03:24,705
Oh, all right, well,
I'm glad you like it.
79
00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:26,507
I mean, I still can't
get over the fact
80
00:03:26,509 --> 00:03:27,875
someone just
threw it away.
81
00:03:29,728 --> 00:03:31,379
What?
82
00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:32,830
Yeah, it was just
sitting on the street.
83
00:03:32,832 --> 00:03:35,015
I paid a homeless guy ten bucks
to help me get it up here.
84
00:03:36,719 --> 00:03:40,688
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
85
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,523
What is wrong?
86
00:03:42,525 --> 00:03:45,008
I've been sitting in garbage!
87
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,545
Sheldon, take it easy.
88
00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:50,364
You take it easy! I need
to use your shower.
89
00:03:52,117 --> 00:03:55,453
I went into this marriage
with so much hope.
90
00:03:57,205 --> 00:03:59,507
There's a wet Band-Aid
on the shower floor!
91
00:04:03,462 --> 00:04:07,081
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
92
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:10,434
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
93
00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:12,052
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
94
00:04:12,054 --> 00:04:14,588
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
95
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:17,258
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
96
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,927
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
97
00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:21,846
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
98
00:04:21,848 --> 00:04:23,814
♪ Bang! ♪
99
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,339
The Big Bang Theory 5x02
The Infestation Hypothesis
Original Air Date on September 22, 2011
100
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:28,440
== sync, corrected by Revan ==
101
00:04:28,284 --> 00:04:29,848
This is fun.
102
00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:33,050
I've never used a hydraulic
thermoforming press before.
103
00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:34,385
Pretty sweet, huh?
104
00:04:34,387 --> 00:04:38,274
This little baby set
the university back 175 grand.
105
00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:39,324
That's three minutes.
106
00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:40,709
Should we see what we got?
107
00:04:40,711 --> 00:04:41,727
Hang on.
108
00:04:47,535 --> 00:04:48,567
Oh, yeah.
109
00:04:48,569 --> 00:04:51,754
This is one good-looking panini.
110
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,342
Hand me the tuna melt.
111
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:55,360
Yep.
112
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:58,530
Thank you.
113
00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:03,151
How's it going with
the long-distance love affair?
114
00:05:03,153 --> 00:05:04,953
Not easy, but we're
making it work.
115
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:10,208
When you say "making it work,"
does that include
116
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,794
doing the cyber nasty?
117
00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:13,912
What?
118
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,498
You know,
the virtual pickle tickle.
119
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,752
The digital...
♪ Bow-chicka-bow-bow. ♪
120
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,671
Come on, dude.
121
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,422
This is my sister
you're talking about.
122
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,725
Hey, Leonard jiggling his junk
at her through a webcam
123
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,043
has got to be easier
for you to deal with
124
00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:31,096
than him actually
touching her with it.
125
00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:33,898
There's no junk jiggling.
126
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,216
We just talk.
127
00:05:35,218 --> 00:05:37,068
Are you sane?
128
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,354
With high-speed Internet,
you have at your fingertips
129
00:05:39,356 --> 00:05:41,106
the greatest advancement
in the field of sex
130
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:44,092
since the invention
of the washcloth.
131
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:46,945
I can't do that.
132
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,780
Well, if you don't,
133
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:52,283
you're gonna lose Priya
to some fancy guy in a turban
134
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,203
who grew up with
Kama Sutra coloring books.
135
00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:57,572
How can you
be so racist?
136
00:05:57,574 --> 00:05:59,791
Oh, come on, tell me I'm wrong.
137
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:01,793
Oh, Leonard, good.
138
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,927
There you are.
139
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,930
I need you to check my head
for chair lice.
140
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:09,751
I did it last night,
I'm not doing it again.
141
00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:12,470
Just his head, right?
142
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,940
I don't want
to talk about it.
143
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,644
You didn't catch bugs
from Penny's chair.
144
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,062
Yes, I did.
145
00:06:21,064 --> 00:06:23,398
And now they're cavorting
at the base of my hair follicles
146
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,935
like dancing hippies
at the Redwood National Forest.
147
00:06:26,937 --> 00:06:30,271
Sheldon, you do this
all the time.
148
00:06:30,273 --> 00:06:32,407
You fixate on some crazy idea
149
00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:34,209
and then blow it
way out of proportion.
150
00:06:34,211 --> 00:06:36,411
Name one time
I've ever done that.
151
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,966
How about when you put
GPS trackers in your garbage
152
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,885
because you were convinced
North Korean spies
153
00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:45,854
were stealing your doodles?
154
00:06:46,922 --> 00:06:50,158
The chicken nuggets you were
sure were human nuggets.
155
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:52,343
The strangely-shaped cloud
156
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:55,013
that was following you
around town.
157
00:06:56,465 --> 00:06:58,433
The time you put on
my shirt by mistake
158
00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:01,236
and were convinced
you'd started growing again.
159
00:07:01,238 --> 00:07:03,238
I said, "Name one."
160
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,607
You really need to work on
your listening skills.
161
00:07:09,528 --> 00:07:11,312
Penny.
162
00:07:11,314 --> 00:07:13,164
Penny. Penny.
163
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,667
Yello.
164
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,836
You need to remove that
chair from the building.
165
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,504
It's a health hazard.
166
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,339
Okay, relax.
I took off the slipcovers,
167
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,341
had them dry-cleaned and then
fumigated the cushions.
168
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,909
Really?
169
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,344
Yeah. It's cleaner
than my couch.
170
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,013
Found half a Hot Pocket
in there.
171
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:37,322
It certainly looks okay.
172
00:07:39,108 --> 00:07:41,309
Has a strong toxic
chemical smell.
173
00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:42,977
That's reassuring.
174
00:07:42,979 --> 00:07:45,897
Why don't you give
it a try, Sheldon?
175
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:49,734
All right.
176
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,177
It is a comfortable chair.
177
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,330
Why don't you just admit
you overreacted?
178
00:08:02,332 --> 00:08:04,249
No, thank you.
179
00:08:23,854 --> 00:08:27,539
It's like living with
a Chihuahua.
180
00:08:29,391 --> 00:08:31,058
Penny.
181
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,578
Penny. Penny.
182
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,830
What's up, buttercup?
183
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,916
You have to get rid
of the chair.
184
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,434
Nope.
185
00:08:42,371 --> 00:08:43,588
Penny.
186
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,123
Penny. Penny.
187
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,842
What's the word, hummingbird?
188
00:08:47,844 --> 00:08:52,013
For your safety,
please wait in my apartment
189
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,599
as I call the authorities
so they may remove
190
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,601
the chair of death.
191
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,270
No.
192
00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:02,307
Penny!
193
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,091
Penny! Penny!
194
00:09:04,093 --> 00:09:07,645
What's the gist, physicist?
195
00:09:09,431 --> 00:09:13,434
Under my authority
as a self-appointed member
196
00:09:13,436 --> 00:09:15,787
of the Centers for
Disease Control street team...
197
00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:18,990
...these premises are condemned.
198
00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:26,113
As a man with a keen
sense of style,
199
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:30,084
I must tell you, that chair
does not work with the room.
200
00:09:33,589 --> 00:09:34,672
Penny!
201
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:35,924
Penny!
202
00:09:41,096 --> 00:09:42,630
Penny.
203
00:09:46,814 --> 00:09:48,626
So, here we are.
204
00:09:48,627 --> 00:09:49,993
Back in bed together.
205
00:09:49,995 --> 00:09:53,080
Yep, here we are.
206
00:09:56,051 --> 00:09:59,286
Okay, so I-I guess
I'll just jump right in.
207
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,587
All right.
208
00:10:02,423 --> 00:10:06,643
Uh, you're a naughty girl.
209
00:10:07,779 --> 00:10:12,950
And-And, uh, I-I want
to punish you with my love?
210
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,104
What?
211
00:10:17,106 --> 00:10:18,755
Not good?
212
00:10:18,757 --> 00:10:20,657
That's terrible. Try again.
213
00:10:20,659 --> 00:10:21,658
Okay.
214
00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:25,445
Uh, uh, you're... not naughty.
215
00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:28,415
Uh, you're-you're-you're dirty.
216
00:10:28,417 --> 00:10:30,817
You're...
217
00:10:30,819 --> 00:10:33,987
You're a-a dirty girl?
218
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:35,839
Oh, yes.
219
00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:37,341
Yes, I am.
220
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:38,342
Yeah, yeah. Uh, okay.
221
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:41,044
You're a, you're a...
222
00:10:41,046 --> 00:10:43,764
You're a-a dirty...
223
00:10:43,766 --> 00:10:46,333
disgusting...
224
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:48,602
revolting girl.
225
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:51,555
Ugh!
226
00:10:51,557 --> 00:10:54,257
God, Leonard, stop talking.
227
00:10:54,259 --> 00:10:56,393
Why don't you just give me
five minutes?
228
00:10:56,395 --> 00:10:59,479
I'll Google how to do this.
I'll call you right back.
229
00:10:59,481 --> 00:11:02,516
Shh-shh-shh. Just be quiet
and do what I tell you.
230
00:11:02,518 --> 00:11:05,068
Okay, like usual. Good.
231
00:11:05,070 --> 00:11:07,037
Take off your shirt.
232
00:11:07,039 --> 00:11:10,407
All rightie. Shirt coming off.
233
00:11:12,994 --> 00:11:16,463
Ta-da! Man nipples.
234
00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:17,864
I said be quiet.
235
00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:19,916
Yes, ma'am.
236
00:11:19,918 --> 00:11:22,535
Now take off your shorts.
237
00:11:22,537 --> 00:11:25,922
Taking shorts off.
238
00:11:27,342 --> 00:11:29,042
There we go.
239
00:11:29,044 --> 00:11:31,928
Naked, naked, naked!
240
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,430
Wonderful.
241
00:11:33,432 --> 00:11:35,349
Now I'll take off my clothes.
242
00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:38,035
Cool.
243
00:11:43,391 --> 00:11:45,275
Uh-oh!
244
00:11:47,078 --> 00:11:48,745
Here I am, baby.
245
00:11:48,747 --> 00:11:50,847
You miss these?
246
00:11:50,849 --> 00:11:52,682
Oh, damn it!
247
00:11:52,684 --> 00:11:54,351
Oh, Leonard! Already?
248
00:11:54,353 --> 00:11:56,586
No, no! No-no-no!
249
00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:02,008
The screen froze.
250
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:04,094
It's probably just buffering
Just give it a second.
251
00:12:04,096 --> 00:12:05,529
Fine.
252
00:12:12,136 --> 00:12:16,106
So, how are your mom and dad?
253
00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:18,725
Yeah, I really don't want to
talk about my parents now.
254
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:20,593
Yeah. Sure, sure.
255
00:12:22,029 --> 00:12:23,430
If your video's frozen,
256
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:27,617
try resetting
the TCP/IP stack.
257
00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:28,985
Oh...!
258
00:12:30,204 --> 00:12:32,239
I didn't even think of that.
Thanks.
259
00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:34,241
You're welcome.
Please let me know when
260
00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:35,792
you and your girlfriend
are done
261
00:12:35,794 --> 00:12:37,794
hogging the bandwidth
for your self-abuse.
262
00:12:37,796 --> 00:12:41,998
I'm trying to stream
a movie on Netflix in here.
263
00:12:43,217 --> 00:12:44,935
Five, six, seven, eight.
264
00:12:44,937 --> 00:12:48,121
♪ Tall and tan and young
and lovely ♪
265
00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:51,725
♪ The girl from Ipanema
goes walking ♪
266
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:55,645
♪ And when she passes,
each one she passes goes... ♪
267
00:12:55,647 --> 00:12:58,532
Amy? Amy? Amy?
268
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,984
♪ Oh... ♪
269
00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:10,076
You are aware that your
ritualistic knocking behavior is
270
00:13:10,078 --> 00:13:11,678
symptomatic of obsessive/
compulsive disorder?
271
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,147
Is not.
272
00:13:14,149 --> 00:13:15,749
Is not, is not.
273
00:13:16,817 --> 00:13:19,202
Denial. Denial, denial.
Come in.
274
00:13:19,204 --> 00:13:21,087
Thank you.
275
00:13:21,089 --> 00:13:22,672
Would you like to hear me play
276
00:13:22,674 --> 00:13:24,508
a bossa nova standard
on the harp?
277
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,376
No.
278
00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:27,711
How about the theme song
279
00:13:27,713 --> 00:13:29,829
to the classic television show
Diff'rent Strokes?
280
00:13:29,831 --> 00:13:31,932
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat... ♪
281
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:33,266
No.
282
00:13:35,002 --> 00:13:38,021
Well, that's every song
I know. What's up?
283
00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:40,857
You're good friends with Penny,
right?
284
00:13:40,859 --> 00:13:43,843
Best friends, besties, BFFs,
peas in a pod,
285
00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:46,780
sisters who would share
traveling pants. Go on.
286
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,681
I was hoping
287
00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:52,285
she might listen to you
about the dangers
288
00:13:52,287 --> 00:13:54,921
of owning unhygienic
furniture.
289
00:13:54,923 --> 00:13:58,124
For general educational
purposes, or has she acquired
290
00:13:58,126 --> 00:14:00,026
a bar stool dipped in cholera?
291
00:14:00,028 --> 00:14:03,880
Cholera is water-borne.
You're mocking me.
292
00:14:03,882 --> 00:14:06,216
Yes, I am.
293
00:14:06,218 --> 00:14:08,935
Penny has dragged a chair in
off the street
294
00:14:08,937 --> 00:14:11,371
whose unknown provenance
jeopardizes
295
00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:12,372
the health and welfare
296
00:14:12,374 --> 00:14:14,224
of every resident in
our building.
297
00:14:14,226 --> 00:14:17,377
Sheldon, just because you have
a focus on cleanliness
298
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:18,395
bordering on the psychotic
299
00:14:18,397 --> 00:14:20,564
doesn't mean
I have to participate.
300
00:14:20,566 --> 00:14:24,134
All right, name your price.
301
00:14:25,987 --> 00:14:29,806
Kiss me where I've never
been kissed before.
302
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:34,711
You mean like Salt Lake City?
303
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,581
Never mind. I'll talk to Penny.
304
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:38,982
Thank you.
305
00:14:38,984 --> 00:14:41,201
Will you listen to me
play my harp now?
306
00:14:41,203 --> 00:14:43,787
No. I dislike the sound
of the harp.
307
00:14:43,789 --> 00:14:46,806
Its overuse in classic
television sitcoms
308
00:14:46,808 --> 00:14:48,008
always makes me think
309
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:51,011
I'm going to experience
an episode from my past.
310
00:14:52,214 --> 00:14:53,913
I'm sorry, Mommy.
Don't be mad at me.
311
00:14:53,915 --> 00:14:55,649
Don't do that!
312
00:14:58,853 --> 00:15:00,354
I don't know about this, Howard.
313
00:15:00,356 --> 00:15:02,072
What? You're having
trouble
314
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:03,774
with the long-distance
lovemaking.
315
00:15:03,776 --> 00:15:05,809
This is your answer.
316
00:15:05,811 --> 00:15:07,061
There are two
interfaces
317
00:15:07,063 --> 00:15:08,395
that simulate
a human mouth.
318
00:15:08,397 --> 00:15:11,115
You have one,
Priya has one in India.
319
00:15:11,117 --> 00:15:12,783
When you move your lips
and tongue on yours,
320
00:15:12,785 --> 00:15:15,486
it transmits exactly
what you're doing to hers.
321
00:15:15,488 --> 00:15:17,771
See? Internet kissing.
322
00:15:25,279 --> 00:15:26,830
Give it a try.
323
00:15:26,832 --> 00:15:29,550
I don't think so.
324
00:15:30,168 --> 00:15:32,219
I'll try it.
325
00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:38,625
Like this?
326
00:15:38,627 --> 00:15:41,628
Almost. Really get
your tongue in there.
327
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:43,463
to activate the motion sensor.
328
00:15:43,465 --> 00:15:46,517
Like this?
329
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,936
Close. Really French it.
330
00:15:57,412 --> 00:15:58,495
Better?
331
00:15:58,497 --> 00:16:01,198
Yeah, you got it, you got it.
332
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:06,319
I'm impressed.
This is very lifelike.
333
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:09,373
Whoa! You just bit my tongue!
334
00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:12,042
I-I nibbled.
I was being playful.
335
00:16:13,511 --> 00:16:16,630
Why do you have to make
everything weird?
336
00:16:16,632 --> 00:16:17,881
Sorry.
337
00:16:21,886 --> 00:16:23,837
Better?
338
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:25,389
Oh, yeah.
339
00:16:31,846 --> 00:16:33,480
Pretty cool, huh?
340
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:36,516
Probably would cost, like,
200 bucks in a store.
341
00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:37,985
I do appreciate
a bargain.
342
00:16:37,987 --> 00:16:41,622
This entire ensemble once
belonged to my dead grandmother.
343
00:16:41,624 --> 00:16:42,573
You're kidding.
344
00:16:42,575 --> 00:16:44,791
Everything except bra
and panties.
345
00:16:44,793 --> 00:16:49,079
And they're a leopard-spotted
secret I share with Victoria.
346
00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,832
And now me.
347
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:55,535
I just have one question
about the chair.
348
00:16:55,537 --> 00:16:56,920
And what's that?
349
00:16:56,922 --> 00:17:00,174
Aren't you worried about it
being unhygienic?
350
00:17:01,726 --> 00:17:04,377
No, it's completely fine...
351
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:08,131
Hmm. I get it.
352
00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:09,183
Sheldon sent you.
353
00:17:09,185 --> 00:17:10,400
He put you up to this.
354
00:17:10,402 --> 00:17:11,685
- No, he didn't.
- Really?
355
00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:14,655
Yes, he did.
He absolutely did.
356
00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:18,208
My God, Amy, that's really
crappy of you.
357
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:19,559
It is?
358
00:17:19,561 --> 00:17:22,162
Yeah! Letting Sheldon use you
to manipulate me?
359
00:17:22,164 --> 00:17:23,563
I thought you were my friend.
360
00:17:23,565 --> 00:17:26,250
No, I am your friend.
Please don't be mad at me.
361
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:27,251
I can't even believe this.
362
00:17:27,253 --> 00:17:28,902
You know, maybe you
should just go.
363
00:17:28,904 --> 00:17:31,726
No! No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I take it all back! Look!
364
00:17:31,727 --> 00:17:33,436
I'm, uh, I'm sitting in your
chair.
365
00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:34,842
There's nothing wrong
with it. It's a great chair.
366
00:17:34,843 --> 00:17:37,911
Please let me continue
to be part of your world.
367
00:17:37,913 --> 00:17:39,579
Ow!
368
00:17:39,581 --> 00:17:40,948
What's wrong?
369
00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,300
Something in the chair's
biting my tushy.
370
00:17:43,302 --> 00:17:44,584
It's not important. Ow!
371
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:46,436
Wait. Get up, get up!
372
00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:59,266
Swear you won't tell
Sheldon what happened!
373
00:17:59,268 --> 00:18:00,701
I swear!
374
00:18:04,439 --> 00:18:06,773
Can I tell my doctor?
I'm probably gonna need shots!
375
00:18:06,775 --> 00:18:08,625
Yeah, sure!
376
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,258
Oh, hey, babe, I think I figured
this thing out.
377
00:18:17,259 --> 00:18:18,625
Oh, Leonard, listen...
378
00:18:18,627 --> 00:18:20,477
No, you listen!
You're my woman,
379
00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:22,012
and I'm gonna
make you feel things
380
00:18:22,014 --> 00:18:24,148
you have never felt before.
381
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,933
Leonard...
382
00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:27,267
That's right, say my name...
383
00:18:27,269 --> 00:18:28,986
and beg me for more, 'cause...
384
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:32,372
I'm gonna give it to you.
385
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,826
My parents are here.
386
00:18:39,864 --> 00:18:41,331
Hello, Leonard...
387
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:45,035
if I may also
say your name.
388
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,009
Check it out.
Free chair.
389
00:18:52,011 --> 00:18:53,460
Yeah.
390
00:18:53,462 --> 00:18:55,929
Hey, you know, if this was in
Sheldon and Leonard's apartment,
391
00:18:55,931 --> 00:18:58,665
I wouldn't wind up sitting on
the floor all the time.
392
00:18:58,667 --> 00:19:01,185
On three?
393
00:19:03,472 --> 00:19:05,639
Three!
Three!
394
00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:09,526
What kind of idiot throws away
a terrific chair like this?
395
00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:13,528
== sync, corrected by Revan ==