1
00:00:03,033 --> 00:00:05,814
♪ We're gonna fly to school
each morning ♪

2
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,901
♪ we're gonna smile
the entire time ♪

3
00:00:09,021 --> 00:00:12,189
♪ we're gonna be more happy ♪

4
00:00:12,224 --> 00:00:14,426
♪ we're gonna finally be fine ♪

5
00:00:14,427 --> 00:00:17,272
♪ we're gonna get more calm
and normal ♪

6
00:00:17,273 --> 00:00:20,340
♪ we're gonna fix
our state of mind ♪

7
00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:23,318
♪ we're gonna be less crazy ♪

8
00:00:23,325 --> 00:00:25,820
♪ we're gonna finally
be fine ♪

9
00:00:25,821 --> 00:00:28,856
♪ we're gonna stand holding
hands in a brand new land ♪

10
00:00:28,907 --> 00:00:31,776
♪ far away
from the borderline ♪

11
00:00:31,777 --> 00:00:34,439
♪ we're gonna seem like
a mainstream dream ♪

12
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,527
♪ and be appealing
to all mankind ♪

13
00:00:38,583 --> 00:00:41,535
♪ we're gonna have more fun
and be less weird ♪

14
00:00:41,553 --> 00:00:44,603
♪ than the first two years
combined ♪

15
00:00:44,604 --> 00:00:47,222
♪ and we're gonna
live forever ♪

16
00:00:47,426 --> 00:00:50,144
♪ and we're gonna sleep
together ♪

17
00:00:50,195 --> 00:00:53,364
♪ and we're gonna finally
be sunny and shinily ♪

18
00:00:53,398 --> 00:00:56,600
♪ we're gonna finally be fine ♪

19
00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:59,670
Jeff. Jeff?

20
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,439
Oh, sorry.
Uh, what was the question?

21
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:02,907
What are we gonna do
without Pierce

22
00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:04,641
in the study group this year?

23
00:01:05,224 --> 00:01:06,948
I'm sure we'll figure it out.

24
00:01:06,949 --> 00:01:08,848
Speaking of figuring
things out,

25
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,906
me and Abed
have an announcement.

26
00:01:13,338 --> 00:01:15,068
Troy and I are living together.

27
00:01:15,069 --> 00:01:16,757
- Oh, that's...
- Oh, that's nice.

28
00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:18,835
If you want to get us a gift,
we're registered at linens 'n things.

29
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,914
We have plenty of linens.
We mainly want the things.

30
00:01:20,983 --> 00:01:22,684
How you like me now, bitches?

31
00:01:22,685 --> 00:01:24,367
Dean, you seem different.

32
00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:25,456
Are you in a play right now?

33
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,418
Over the summer, I decided it's time
to whip this place into shape.

34
00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:31,554
I'm gonna be a mean, lean,
deaning machine.

35
00:01:31,648 --> 00:01:34,040
No more paintball,
no more spaceships,

36
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:36,559
no more trampolines,
and no more...

37
00:01:37,395 --> 00:01:40,429
- What is that?
- That's probably the monkey that lives in the vents.

38
00:01:40,723 --> 00:01:43,210
I named him "Annie's boobs",
after Annie's boobs.

39
00:01:43,211 --> 00:01:45,537
See? This is the kind of
national lampoonery

40
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,739
that is coming
to an end this year.

41
00:01:47,851 --> 00:01:49,952
Homie don't dean this.

42
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,587
Okay, guys,
let's get to biology on time.

43
00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:53,677
I don't want to be
a screwup this year.

44
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:54,971
Uh, Britta.

45
00:01:57,178 --> 00:01:58,879
We're really doing this
without Pierce?

46
00:01:59,221 --> 00:02:00,776
- So sad.
- Yeah.

47
00:02:00,777 --> 00:02:02,722
We have parted ways
with our closest,

48
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,281
oldest, craziest,
most racist, oldest,

49
00:02:05,282 --> 00:02:08,301
elderly, crazy friend,
and he's not coming back.

50
00:02:08,397 --> 00:02:10,443
- I'm back.
- Pierce!

51
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:12,767
How was your summer?

52
00:02:12,802 --> 00:02:14,903
Enlightful, Annie.

53
00:02:14,908 --> 00:02:18,033
I underwent three months
of intensive soul-rezoning

54
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:20,668
at the laser lotus
celebrity center.

55
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:24,429
I stand before you a more
highly evolved Pierce Hawthorne,

56
00:02:24,430 --> 00:02:28,631
one that can accept
that this table has a...

57
00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:31,326
- has a sort of magic in it.
- Aww.

58
00:02:31,962 --> 00:02:33,202
- And I'd like to come back.
- Yeah.

59
00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:34,721
- Damn it!

60
00:02:36,164 --> 00:02:37,865
Oh, uh, sorry.

61
00:02:37,927 --> 00:02:39,527
I just had
the frustrating realization

62
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,531
that you can't come back
to the group,

63
00:02:41,532 --> 00:02:43,449
because you're not in biology
and it's all filled up.

64
00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:44,730
Well, couldn't we take
something else?

65
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,786
I mean, surely we've
evolved beyond

66
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:48,554
caring what class
we take together.

67
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,224
Oh, right Pierce.

68
00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:52,092
I'll do you one better.

69
00:02:53,609 --> 00:02:57,587
I think we've evolved beyond
reliance on a group at all.

70
00:02:57,905 --> 00:03:01,127
Aren't we just actual friends
now, no matter where we are?

71
00:03:01,608 --> 00:03:03,349
You know what's magic
about this table?

72
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,886
It magically keeps our books
from falling on the floor.

73
00:03:06,913 --> 00:03:10,056
The table's for studying,
but as friends, we've evolved.

74
00:03:10,126 --> 00:03:11,618
And let's use that first breath

75
00:03:11,619 --> 00:03:14,453
of crisp, new,
super evolved air

76
00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:18,160
to declare proudly
and in one voice, "Pierce...

77
00:03:18,943 --> 00:03:21,266
We'll see you
when we see you."

78
00:03:39,722 --> 00:03:41,445
Don't tell the monkey
I'm living here.

79
00:03:41,826 --> 00:03:46,826
Community 3x01 - Biology 101

80
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:51,327
Sync by vNaru
www.addic7ed.com

81
00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:14,856
Oh, star-burns,
I see you added a lizard

82
00:04:14,857 --> 00:04:17,176
to your special hat
and sideburns.

83
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,538
Am I missing anything?

84
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,597
Yeah! The human being
underneath it all,

85
00:04:20,717 --> 00:04:22,928
but no one's really interested
in that, are they?

86
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:23,684
No.

87
00:04:23,804 --> 00:04:25,610
I hope we did the right thing
about Pierce.

88
00:04:25,649 --> 00:04:27,084
He really seems
like he's changed.

89
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,200
What are you, nuts?

90
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,401
That's what
he wants you to think.

91
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,148
Trust me, we're better off
without him.

92
00:04:31,149 --> 00:04:33,550
Excluding Pierce is what
drove him crazy last year.

93
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,941
Wrong, being crazy
drove him excluded.

94
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,942
- What's wrong?
- Cougar town has been moved to mid-season.

95
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:42,803
That's never a good sign.

96
00:04:42,826 --> 00:04:44,163
Not cool, not cool, not cool,
not cool, not cool.

97
00:04:44,164 --> 00:04:46,599
Hey buddy, hey,
it's coming back in January.

98
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,552
- Six seasons and a movie.
- Six seasons and a movie.

99
00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,997
This is Intro to Biology.

100
00:04:55,998 --> 00:05:00,600
I'm your professor,
Dr. Marshall King, PhD.

101
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:04,354
It took me 6,205 hours
to get my degree,

102
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:08,035
and I know, because I was only
allowed in the library

103
00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:11,384
one hour per day at the San
Vicente correctional facility

104
00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:16,439
while serving a sentence
of 25 to life.

105
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:18,702
Now let's talk about that word.

106
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,253
"Life."

107
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:23,721
Sorry. It's a new phone.

108
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,543
Switching to vibrate.

109
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,662
Continue.
This is really great.

110
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,732
I stared at a crack in the
ground in my cell for years,

111
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,001
and one day,
something grew from it.

112
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:38,178
A single blade of grass.

113
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:43,568
Vibrates louder than the ringer.

114
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:47,381
Gosh. You know what?
Turning it off.

115
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:52,738
Living thing,
growing from dead stone.

116
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,571
Get out!

117
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,406
- Oh, it's off, it's off.
- Out!

118
00:05:56,454 --> 00:05:58,305
I turned it off.

119
00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:01,869
Fine. Okay, fine.
I'm leaving.

120
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:03,004
And don't bother coming back.

121
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:04,708
Seriously?
Hey, dude,

122
00:06:04,828 --> 00:06:07,768
Sean Penn called.
He says to dial it back.

123
00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,984
- Sean Penn is an actor who...
- I know who Sean Penn is.

124
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,362
I've seen Milk.
Now get out!

125
00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:16,242
Dude, learn to blend.

126
00:06:17,623 --> 00:06:21,129
I will not tolerate
monkeys living on campus.

127
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,092
If I wanted
to run a monkey hotel,

128
00:06:23,093 --> 00:06:25,361
I'd install a banana buffet.

129
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:27,311
I'd use vines as elevators,

130
00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:29,312
and I'd put tail holes
in the bathrobes,

131
00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:31,096
and I'd lower all the shower knobs.

132
00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:33,689
Wow, you've really thought this through.
And now it's your turn.

133
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,228
Brainstorm. Idea shower.

134
00:06:35,319 --> 00:06:37,220
Spray your solutions
all over me.

135
00:06:37,298 --> 00:06:39,366
Well, we could seal
all the vents

136
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:41,800
and then pump the ducts
with some kind of gas

137
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:46,356
- that knocks out monkeys.
- Monkey knockout gas!

138
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:49,142
Now that's the kind of grounded,
sensible thinking

139
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,172
I want to see this year.

140
00:06:51,368 --> 00:06:53,995
- Catherine, who's next?
- Vice Dean Laybourne,

141
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,397
from the air conditioning
repair school annex.

142
00:06:57,123 --> 00:06:59,201
- Vice Dean.
- Dean. New suit, Dean?

143
00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:01,552
New Dean, vice Dean.
New Dean.

144
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,165
I see that you
used school funds

145
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:07,014
to buy an espresso machine
for your faculty break room.

146
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:09,990
I don't recall
being consulted on that.

147
00:07:09,991 --> 00:07:12,608
- We don't consult you on anything.
- That's the problem.

148
00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:16,223
The air-conditioning repair
school annex seems to think,

149
00:07:16,397 --> 00:07:18,118
that it's separate
from Greendale,

150
00:07:18,119 --> 00:07:21,044
but it's an annex.

151
00:07:21,093 --> 00:07:23,914
An appendage, on a body,
with a head,

152
00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:26,784
and this head is saying
to this appendage,

153
00:07:26,966 --> 00:07:28,601
"whazup?"

154
00:07:29,612 --> 00:07:31,446
What you say makes sense, Dean.

155
00:07:31,447 --> 00:07:32,814
Tell you what.

156
00:07:33,247 --> 00:07:37,190
You bring your head down
to my appendage tomorrow,

157
00:07:37,194 --> 00:07:39,513
and I'll show you
"whazup."

158
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:43,230
I'll be there.

159
00:07:55,154 --> 00:07:58,140
I think I found something
that will help Abed!

160
00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,622
Abed, did you know
that Cougar Town

161
00:08:00,623 --> 00:08:05,263
is an American adaptation
of a 1990s British sitcom?

162
00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:07,276
Cougarton abbey.

163
00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:09,540
Just been 'round
Cougarton chapel.

164
00:08:09,541 --> 00:08:12,553
- I may be having an awakening.
- Come off it, Deidre.

165
00:08:12,554 --> 00:08:15,194
You've only been having
a butchers at the choir boys.

166
00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:19,176
Better than nothing.
Thanks, Britta.

167
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,991
Can you believe that guy,
kicking me out of class like that?

168
00:08:22,829 --> 00:08:25,047
It's gonna be impossible
to find a science class

169
00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:26,382
with six open spots.

170
00:08:26,388 --> 00:08:28,971
- Why would we need to do that?
- 'Cause I'm not in biology anymore.

171
00:08:28,972 --> 00:08:32,163
And neither is Pierce,
but you're both still our friends.

172
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:33,717
We've evolved.

173
00:08:34,024 --> 00:08:35,425
Right, Jeff?

174
00:08:41,682 --> 00:08:43,246
Yes, we have.

175
00:08:43,247 --> 00:08:44,997
- And we all love each other.
- Mm-hmm.

176
00:08:45,119 --> 00:08:48,988
And we all go
to the same school, so, uh...

177
00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:51,290
I guess I'll see ya
when I see ya.

178
00:08:54,193 --> 00:08:55,352
Hey, guess what.

179
00:08:55,353 --> 00:08:57,193
I was on the wait list for biology,

180
00:08:57,498 --> 00:08:59,932
somebody got kicked out.
I am...

181
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:02,315
- here to study!
- Yeah!

182
00:09:10,219 --> 00:09:13,185
- All hail, sir eats alone.
- Shut up, Leonard.

183
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,387
I heard about
your prescription socks.

184
00:09:17,953 --> 00:09:18,970
Hope you don't mind, Jeff,

185
00:09:19,004 --> 00:09:19,971
but I've got
a new favorite show,

186
00:09:19,987 --> 00:09:21,204
and I'm only on episode six.

187
00:09:21,257 --> 00:09:23,259
You guys got about
five minutes left to eat.

188
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,899
Oh, my, time flies when you're
studying the science of life.

189
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,470
Well, I think time flies
when you're joking around

190
00:09:27,471 --> 00:09:29,904
about movie titles that sound
like names for poops.

191
00:09:30,584 --> 00:09:32,435
Remains of the day.

192
00:09:32,835 --> 00:09:33,912
Wait a second.

193
00:09:33,913 --> 00:09:36,198
Were you eavesdropping
on our study session?

194
00:09:36,322 --> 00:09:38,639
I was eavesdropping
on your goof-off session,

195
00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:40,408
and you dummies missed
the most obvious one.

196
00:09:40,442 --> 00:09:41,943
No, I said,
"Green Mile."

197
00:09:41,977 --> 00:09:43,477
Operation dumbo drop!

198
00:09:45,831 --> 00:09:47,248
Too clever by half, Jeffrey.

199
00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:49,110
All right, well uh, I gotta go.

200
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:50,611
Thanks for the five minutes.

201
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:51,665
Jeffrey.

202
00:09:51,738 --> 00:09:55,107
Blimey. The barrister's
foreclosed the abbey.

203
00:09:56,644 --> 00:10:01,463
- Fancy a drink, then?
- Oi, fetch us a hemlock.

204
00:10:12,973 --> 00:10:14,179
Britta?

205
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,482
Why did everyone
on Cougarton Abbey just die?

206
00:10:16,517 --> 00:10:18,318
They only ran six episodes.

207
00:10:18,346 --> 00:10:20,448
That's the great thing about
British tv.

208
00:10:20,459 --> 00:10:21,592
They give you closure.

209
00:10:23,276 --> 00:10:25,429
Hey, no, no, no!
We'll find you a new favorite show!

210
00:10:25,464 --> 00:10:26,598
We'll find you
a new favorite show!

211
00:10:26,599 --> 00:10:27,986
Come on, buddy.

212
00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:31,526
You are human tennis elbow.

213
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,642
You are a pizza burn on the roof
of the world's mouth.

214
00:10:34,748 --> 00:10:36,917
You are the opposite of Batman.

215
00:10:42,972 --> 00:10:44,572
You don't need them, man.

216
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:47,612
- Exactly. I'll see 'em when I see 'em.
- Totally

217
00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:50,291
You and I, we should
hang out some time, huh?

218
00:10:50,366 --> 00:10:51,795
- Grab a drink?
- Sure.

219
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,940
- Where are you living now?
- The air vents.

220
00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:57,000
I live in the air vents
of the school. Shhhh!

221
00:10:57,201 --> 00:11:00,443
I'm free, Jeff. Free!

222
00:11:04,695 --> 00:11:06,768
I gotta get back in that class.

223
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:12,984
Real Dean coming through.
Oh, my goodness spacious,

224
00:11:12,998 --> 00:11:14,383
vice dean...

225
00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:16,337
Is this where Greendale's money
is going?

226
00:11:16,372 --> 00:11:18,339
More accurately, Dean,

227
00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:20,341
it's where Greendale's money
comes from.

228
00:11:20,393 --> 00:11:23,266
Our air-conditioning program
has a job placement rate

229
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:26,569
five times higher than the rest
of your school combined.

230
00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:29,497
Our alumnini donations
comprise 80%

231
00:11:29,498 --> 00:11:31,450
of your entire school's budget.

232
00:11:31,703 --> 00:11:34,702
And you want to know why
we think we deserve

233
00:11:34,703 --> 00:11:36,881
- an espresso machine?!
- Wow.

234
00:11:37,314 --> 00:11:38,900
Well, I guess
I didn't know. I...

235
00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:41,436
And you never had to, Dean.
You could have lived

236
00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:43,557
the rest of your life
in blissful ignorance

237
00:11:43,558 --> 00:11:46,660
and died a happy,
pansexual imp.

238
00:11:46,704 --> 00:11:50,555
But you wanted
to feel power this year.

239
00:11:50,556 --> 00:11:53,620
Well, now, you're going
to feel my power

240
00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:57,479
as it surges downward from me,
straight through you,

241
00:11:57,514 --> 00:12:02,151
from nostril to rectum,
now until the end of time.

242
00:12:02,185 --> 00:12:05,120
And that's "whazup."

243
00:12:06,654 --> 00:12:09,655
I forgot everything you said
before "rectum"!

244
00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:13,188
Who are these guys?

245
00:12:13,189 --> 00:12:16,044
This is my legal team
because I think it's time

246
00:12:16,045 --> 00:12:18,088
we worked out a new agreement.

247
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,357
- He doesn't look like a lawyer.
- That's a barber.

248
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,639
Because I'm also sick
of that ridiculous goatee.

249
00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:26,375
You look like
a white Lou Gossett, Jr.

250
00:12:32,649 --> 00:12:35,481
- You deserve a bigger office.
- Biggest office I ever had.

251
00:12:35,532 --> 00:12:37,604
I'm here to apologize,
Dr. King,

252
00:12:37,605 --> 00:12:39,393
and beg you for a seat
in biology.

253
00:12:39,394 --> 00:12:41,555
I tell you what, 'N Sync,
you wanna learn about life?

254
00:12:41,604 --> 00:12:42,718
Give up the phone.

255
00:12:42,719 --> 00:12:44,606
Oh. You're asking me
for a bribe?

256
00:12:44,607 --> 00:12:47,409
I can't be bought, man.
You feel me?

257
00:12:47,785 --> 00:12:49,984
See, prison was my walls.

258
00:12:49,985 --> 00:12:52,162
But you put your walls up.

259
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:54,455
You, and your phone,
and your attitude,

260
00:12:54,456 --> 00:12:56,257
and your fruit loops cologne.

261
00:12:56,545 --> 00:12:57,798
Your walls put up so tight, man,

262
00:12:57,799 --> 00:13:00,701
not even a blade of grass
could get through.

263
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:03,512
But even if it did,
you wouldn't appreciate it.

264
00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:06,414
That's why you can't
come back to my class.

265
00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:08,500
What's your problem
with me, man?

266
00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:11,424
And don't act like it's not
about me specifically

267
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,427
because you've been in...

268
00:13:18,118 --> 00:13:19,232
Busted!

269
00:13:22,999 --> 00:13:25,584
Hey!
Take it easy, Winger.

270
00:13:26,007 --> 00:13:28,905
- Everything okay?
- It is now that I have this.

271
00:13:29,062 --> 00:13:31,943
This is my ticket
to getting back in the group.

272
00:13:32,138 --> 00:13:33,884
Hey! Hey!

273
00:13:35,203 --> 00:13:37,653
I want to be
in the group so bad!

274
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:45,425
All right, let's smoke 'em
and choke 'em.

275
00:13:47,161 --> 00:13:50,463
No! No!

276
00:13:52,594 --> 00:13:53,976
What is that?

277
00:13:54,022 --> 00:13:55,974
Monkey gas!

278
00:13:57,122 --> 00:13:58,656
Monkey gas?

279
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:03,703
Oh, my g...

280
00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:42,259
Abed? All your friends are here.

281
00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:44,146
- They wanna talk to you.
- I don't get it.

282
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:46,251
How is this different
from the way he always is?

283
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,676
I don't want to push it, but this
would be a great time to baptize him.

284
00:14:48,677 --> 00:14:51,580
Abed, maybe this can be
your new favorite show.

285
00:14:51,581 --> 00:14:53,448
It's a British Sci-Fi series

286
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:55,857
that's been on the air
since 1962.

287
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:57,826
Britta, you've done enough, okay?

288
00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,261
Why don't you go start
a ruiners' club?

289
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:00,804
Oh wait, you'd probably
just ruin it.

290
00:15:00,863 --> 00:15:02,514
Well then,
I'd be doing a good job

291
00:15:02,515 --> 00:15:03,749
because it's a ruiners' club.

292
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:05,567
You ruined my analogy.

293
00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:07,185
Guys, look!

294
00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:18,853
Blimey, inspector!
Where have we wound up this time?

295
00:15:18,898 --> 00:15:23,418
The question isn't where,
constable, but when.

296
00:15:23,453 --> 00:15:25,587
Inspector, look out!
Blorgons!

297
00:15:25,602 --> 00:15:28,362
Eradicate! Eradicate!

298
00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:31,543
This is the best show I've
ever seen in my entire life.

299
00:15:31,828 --> 00:15:34,663
Having fun without me again?

300
00:15:35,798 --> 00:15:39,322
Jeff, what happened?
You look '70.

301
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:41,828
Abed has
a new favorite tv show, Jeff.

302
00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:43,946
It's called Inspector Spacetime...

303
00:15:44,032 --> 00:15:46,684
Can it, boobs.
I came here to let you know

304
00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:49,520
that your best friend Pierce
is the one that got me

305
00:15:49,521 --> 00:15:52,923
kicked out of bio class
and the study group.

306
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:55,625
It was a plan he hatched
from the beginning

307
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,925
with his pal, Professor Kane.

308
00:15:59,114 --> 00:16:03,147
But, Jeff, that's a photo
I gave our professor

309
00:16:03,148 --> 00:16:07,521
of me visiting Hawthorne Wipes'
spokesman and rap artist

310
00:16:07,522 --> 00:16:09,802
Sugar Cube in prison
during the '90s.

311
00:16:09,956 --> 00:16:13,308
Well, they look alike.

312
00:16:13,379 --> 00:16:16,307
I guess they share one
important feature in your eyes.

313
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,909
Well, that's not fair!

314
00:16:17,924 --> 00:16:20,466
Look, I...
I was standing far away,

315
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,889
and I saw the prison uniform!

316
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,125
Oh, Jeffrey!

317
00:16:23,161 --> 00:16:25,195
Oh, come on, obviously
I don't mean

318
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,492
all black people are in prison!

319
00:16:28,782 --> 00:16:31,880
Okay Jeff, clearly you have gone
off the deep end.

320
00:16:31,881 --> 00:16:34,126
Don't blame him.
The table is powerful,

321
00:16:34,153 --> 00:16:36,604
- and being cut off from it...
- Shut the...

322
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:45,600
I've become... agitated.

323
00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:48,069
I apologize.

324
00:16:48,103 --> 00:16:51,139
We'll continue this discourse
at a later date.

325
00:16:51,174 --> 00:16:52,374
Good night.

326
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,352
He just needs some space.

327
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,644
I hate you! And I'm going
to kill the one thing you love!

328
00:17:00,183 --> 00:17:01,800
I'm gonna kill it!

329
00:17:01,834 --> 00:17:06,166
As long as it breathes,
it controls our lives!

330
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,058
I just came by to tell everyone

331
00:17:12,059 --> 00:17:14,425
this year isn't gonna be
that different.

332
00:17:15,524 --> 00:17:18,714
With the notable exception,
we really won't have any money.

333
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:22,196
Have a nice night.

334
00:17:26,475 --> 00:17:28,092
What is with that guy?

335
00:17:31,399 --> 00:17:34,496
- Did you find the monkey?
- No, but here's the invoice for the gassing.

336
00:17:34,602 --> 00:17:36,834
Okay, as it turns out,
I cannot pay this...

337
00:17:37,635 --> 00:17:40,954
Or your salaries starting on...
two weeks ago.

338
00:17:41,332 --> 00:17:44,985
But, what I do have are
these vouchers

339
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:47,637
for the classes
of your choosing.

340
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:58,761
You're lucky I need
my scuba certification.

341
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,198
Okay, okay.

342
00:18:09,199 --> 00:18:11,160
I'm the one
living in your vents.

343
00:18:11,377 --> 00:18:13,344
I have no home and no job.

344
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:17,133
Does that mean you'll work
for room and board?

345
00:18:22,357 --> 00:18:25,247
Okay, I was lying
the whole time.

346
00:18:25,557 --> 00:18:27,413
I didn't want the group
to evolve.

347
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,844
I just didn't want Pierce around.
I hate him.

348
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:35,972
Okay, but Jeff, what you did
it's hard to get past that.

349
00:18:35,973 --> 00:18:37,471
I know you're already out
of the study group,

350
00:18:37,472 --> 00:18:41,371
but I'm gonna have to ask that
you stop being my friend.

351
00:18:43,482 --> 00:18:48,327
Okay, look, everybody,
here's the thing. I...

352
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,798
I am not as evolved
as I said I was.

353
00:18:50,799 --> 00:18:53,562
The biology class was full,
so I told Professor Kane

354
00:18:53,563 --> 00:18:56,811
I'd pay him a few thousand dollars to...
kick Jeff out.

355
00:18:56,812 --> 00:18:58,370
What?!
Pierce!

356
00:19:00,615 --> 00:19:02,844
I can't believe Jeff attacked
a table with a fire axe

357
00:19:02,845 --> 00:19:05,053
and still only managed to be the
second craziest man in the room.

358
00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:08,231
Okay, everybody in favor of
voting Pierce out of the group?

359
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,568
Stop! Stop!

360
00:19:10,787 --> 00:19:12,484
Pierce isn't crazy.

361
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,448
The table...

362
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,865
is... magic.

363
00:19:19,556 --> 00:19:21,516
As someone who's been
on the other side,

364
00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:23,030
I can tell you.

365
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:26,239
It is a scary, lonely,
Chang-filled world out there,

366
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,245
and sure, this group has
sprouted some legs,

367
00:19:28,246 --> 00:19:31,830
but why are we in such a rush
to leave the tide pool,

368
00:19:31,831 --> 00:19:34,362
when the only things
waiting for us on shore

369
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,606
are the sands of time.

370
00:19:36,607 --> 00:19:40,105
And the hungry seagulls
of slowly growing apart.

371
00:19:40,339 --> 00:19:42,807
Man, I really need this
biology class.

372
00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:49,799
Pierce!

373
00:19:51,002 --> 00:19:54,073
Professor Kane has never taken
a bribe from anyone in his life.

374
00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:55,262
You feel me?

375
00:19:55,263 --> 00:19:59,083
Yeah, I lied, but you seem
to have a harder time

376
00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:00,904
being the bad guy than me.

377
00:20:01,528 --> 00:20:04,447
You're right. I do.

378
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:09,121
Which, in a weird way,
makes me a pretty bad guy.

379
00:20:09,146 --> 00:20:11,001
- We're one and the same.
- Please don't.

380
00:20:12,238 --> 00:20:14,498
Jeff, but you're still
kicked out of biology.

381
00:20:14,499 --> 00:20:16,784
Oh, I'm not worried about it.

382
00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:20,165
Life has a way
of breaking through.

383
00:20:20,183 --> 00:20:22,000
So, uh, here's what
I'm thinking.

384
00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:26,013
I'm a drug dealer, right?
And you're a scientist,

385
00:20:26,014 --> 00:20:28,056
so couldn't we get, like a,

386
00:20:28,057 --> 00:20:30,280
Breaking Bad
type of thing going?

387
00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:34,383
Sorry, star-face, you just
lost your seat in my class.

388
00:20:39,668 --> 00:20:41,752
There, now the table
is good as new.

389
00:20:41,764 --> 00:20:42,880
And so is Abed.

390
00:20:42,881 --> 00:20:45,182
Britta, I'm sorry I was
overprotective of Aved.

391
00:20:45,207 --> 00:20:48,133
- I'll try and be more supportive of you.
- Well, here's your first chance.

392
00:20:48,134 --> 00:20:50,880
Helping Abed has inspired me
to finally declare a major.

393
00:20:51,013 --> 00:20:53,481
I'm gonna study Psychology.

394
00:20:53,515 --> 00:20:55,383
Like in a research capacity?

395
00:20:55,417 --> 00:20:59,387
No, in a hands-on capacity.
I'm gonna be a therapist.

396
00:21:02,925 --> 00:21:05,527
Hey, hey, hey, keep it down.

397
00:21:05,528 --> 00:21:07,595
There's a new sheriff in town.

398
00:21:09,966 --> 00:21:12,198
Oh, interesting.

399
00:21:12,199 --> 00:21:15,349
- So this is the year we all die.
- Yes, we all gonna die.