1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,212
-Who wants the last dumpling?
-Ooh, me.

2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,297
Penny, a moment.

3
00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,550
We just had Thai food.

4
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:13,512
In that culture, the last morsel
is called the krengjai piece.

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:19,601
And it is reserved for the most important
and valued member of the group.

6
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:27,401
Thank you all for this high honor.

7
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:32,364
I've seen pictures of your mother.
Keep eating.

8
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:40,789
AIl right, honey, if we're gonna
make the movie, we should go.

9
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,833
[RAJESH CLEARS THROAT]

10
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,961
This may be hard for you to hear...

11
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,964
...but when l say "honey,"
I mean my fiancée.

12
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:51,675
[lNAUDlBLE]

13
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,802
Yeah, well, now it means her.

14
00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,723
It's okay if he wants to come.

15
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,142
Fine. But next time, we get a sitter.

16
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,563
-I gotta to work. l'll walk down with you.
-Wait.

17
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,941
Uh, which is closer
to the new train store in Monrovia?

18
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,194
The movie theater
or The Cheesecake Factory?

19
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,321
Neither of them are close.

20
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,157
I guess it doesn't matter
which one of you drives me.

21
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,410
Let's play a fun guessing game
to see who gets to take me.

22
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:23,290
AIl right. This four-letter word
describes either a printer's type size...

23
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,626
...or a compulsion to eat dirt.

24
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,506
-Okay, l'm not driving him.
-Penny, don't give up, you can get this.

25
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,594
Aren't you going with SheIdon?

26
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:39,765
No, I have no interest in model trains,
stores that sell them...

27
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,476
...nor their heart-breaking cIientele.

28
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:47,022
Oh, well, I have some work to do,
so....

29
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:50,067
I can't imagine that wouId disturb me.
Carry on.

30
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:55,572
Okay. wouldn't you be
more comfortable at home?

31
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,745
Not really, no.

32
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,250
AIrighty then.
I guess l'll just get started.

33
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,502
PIease, I don't need
the running commentary.

34
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,877
[SlGHS]

35
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,132
-Amy?
-Yo.

36
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,969
-You okay?
-Oh, sure.

37
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,974
-I thought you were reading.
-I was.

38
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,560
Now l'm thinking about what l read.

39
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:22,534
You all right, Leonard?
You seem very uncomfortable.

40
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,245
I-- l'm fine.

41
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,497
Should l go?

44
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,466
WeIl, most recently, my gynecologist.

45
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,265
Oh, you stay as long as you'd like.

46
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:49,686
I'm glad to hear you say that
because l'm having a wonderful time.

47
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,982
Hmm. l said the same thing
to my gynecologist.

48
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,657
What are you gonna get
at the train store, Sheldon?

49
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,450
Oh, l'm not buying anything.

50
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,452
They're having a lecture.

51
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,579
"HO gage raiIroading.

52
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,208
Half the size of O gage,
but twice the fun."

53
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,586
It's a very controversial topic.

54
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,340
-Which side do you come down on?
-I'll let you know after tonight.

55
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,301
Unlike some people,
I'm going in with an open mind.

56
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:23,262
Who am I kidding?

57
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,431
Of course we all know
it's O gage or no gage.

58
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:30,519
Can you believe grown men
sit around and play with toy trains? Heh.

59
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,271
That's big talk...

60
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,899
...for a man with a cIoset full
of magic tricks at his mother's house.

61
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,113
First of all, they're not tricks.
They're illusions.

62
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,200
Secondly, when we get married,
they're all going up in the attic...

63
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,619
...so you can have that cIoset
for clothes.

64
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,622
Why would I keep clothes
at your mother's house?

65
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,165
WeIl, don't think of it that way.

66
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,376
Once we move in, it'lI be our house.

67
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,919
Is she moving out?

68
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,880
Why would she move out?
It's her house.

69
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,927
Hang on. You seriously think
I'm gonna live with your mother?

70
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,804
Howard, I think I can help here.

71
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,099
Yes, Bernadette,
that's exactly what he thinks.

72
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,144
Why not?
It's a great house, plenty of room.

73
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:16,273
If we have kids, Mom's there to help.
When she tells "The Three Little Pigs"...

74
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,734
...she actually has hair
on her chinny chin chin.

75
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,485
[CHUCKLES]

76
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:25,157
I'm not gonna live with your mother.
Not now, not ever.

77
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,618
Wow, someone obviously has
some mommy issues.

78
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,372
Raj, take me home.

79
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,875
Don't Iisten to her.
Go to the movie theater.

80
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,169
-Take me home now.
-Movie theater.

81
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,628
[GROANS]

82
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:42,382
Okay, everybody, calm down.
There is a simple solution here.

83
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,217
Raj, take me to the train store...

84
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,137
...and then l don't care
what you people do.

85
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,270
How was your shower?

86
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,106
Good, good.

87
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,860
Just out of curiosity,
what time do you usually go to bed?

88
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,821
Oh, l'm up all night.
I'm like a possum.

89
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,701
Boy, you were not liked in high school,
were you?

90
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,121
-Not really. Is that my yearbook?
-Mm-hm.

91
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,332
"Dear Leonard,
you're really good at science.

92
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,960
Maybe one day you'll come up
with a cure for being a dork."

93
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,381
It wasn't spray-painting
a lightning bolt on my briefcase.

94
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,967
-I can teIl you that.
-If it makes you feel any better...

95
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,303
...the only person who signed
my yearbook was my mother.

96
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,471
Aw.

97
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:33,975
"Dear Amy, self-respect and a hymen are
better than friends and fun. Love, Mom."

98
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:35,769
[DOOR OPENS]

99
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:40,065
WeIl, you can add Jerry's Junction
to the Iist of train stores...

100
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,402
...Sheldon Cooper
will never set foot in again.

101
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:48,031
-Rough night, Casey Jones?
-You don't know the half of it.

102
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:52,160
It was billed as a lively give-and-take
on the merits of model-train sizes.

103
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,829
But it was actually a set-up...

104
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:58,333
...to intimidate weak-minded, spineless
rubes into buying HO starter sets.

105
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,711
-What's in the bag?
-I don't wanna talk about it.

106
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,799
But it's not a spine, I'll tell you that.

107
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,845
I had a delightful evening.
We should do this again sometime.

108
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,805
Uh, sure. That'd be nice.

109
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,641
Glad to hear it. l need someone
to accompany me to the wedding...

110
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,185
...of Dr. Moranelli and Dr. Gustufson
this Friday.

111
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:20,564
They're kind of the Brad and Angelina
of the Primatology Department.

112
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,150
-Wouldn't you rather bring Sheldon?
-I would...

113
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,694
...but the last wedding we went to
was a disaster.

114
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,905
-He behaved like a chiId the entire time.
-It's not my fauIt.

115
00:07:29,073 --> 00:07:32,409
You said there'd be other scientists there
my age.

116
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,873
Doesn't matter. You're out. He's in.

117
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,125
No date to the prom,
two dates to a wedding.

118
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,586
Hmm, how times change.

119
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:49,217
Ha, ha, you have to go to a wedding.

120
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,097
[RINGS]

121
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,307
HOWARD:
I'll get it.

122
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,934
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: Could you get it?
HOWARD: l said I'm getting it!

123
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:01,354
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: Fine, l'll get it.
HOWARD: l got it!

124
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,608
Oh, hi.

125
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,026
Hey.

126
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,360
I don't wanna fight.

127
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:11,364
I was just surprised when you sprung
the living-with-your-mom stuff on me.

128
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:15,827
Yeah, well,
I'm sorry I didn't run it by you first.

129
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,622
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: I don't know
who you're talking to, but in or out!

130
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,333
We don't need bugs!

131
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,211
The bugs only come here...

132
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,172
...because you're their queen!

133
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,510
Listen, how about this?

134
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,222
Before we make any decision
about where we live, we have a trial run.

135
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,974
You know, stay here for a weekend,
see what it's like.

136
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:40,644
-Your mom would be okay with that?
-Sure, she would.

137
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:43,438
Ma, do you mind if Bernadette
stays here this weekend?

138
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,316
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: Hey, if she's
willing to give the milk away for free...

139
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,902
...who am I to say no?

140
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,239
See? She's good with it.

141
00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,740
[CHUCKLES]

142
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:57,619
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: Frankly, after alI
your sleepovers with the little brown boy...

143
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,497
...a girl is a big relief.

144
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,009
AIl these years, I've been so wrong.

145
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:17,931
The tinier the train,
the more concentrated the fun.

146
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,852
You're a brain scientist.

147
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,314
Can you explain why a brilliant man
Iikes playing with toy trains?

148
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,817
Not without cutting his head open, no.

149
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,821
How about making my eyes
Iike CIeopatra?

150
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,781
Really? For a wedding?

151
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,450
You're right.
My cheek bones and beckoning peIvis...

152
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,245
...already have a certain
"HeIlo, sailor" quaIity.

153
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,164
I'm ready.

154
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,958
PENNY:
Aw.

155
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,544
So handsome.

156
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,837
Like James Bond.

157
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:53,550
Better than James Bond
because he's tinier.

158
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,053
I got you this to give to me.

159
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,766
Oh, sweetie, guests don't normally
wear corsages to a wedding.

160
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,310
That's more of a prom thing.

161
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,644
I never went to my prom.

162
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:09,024
My mom paid my cousin to take me
but he just used the money to buy drugs.

163
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:11,860
Put the corsage on her.

164
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,282
Amy, this is for you, heh.

165
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,661
When you're done copping a feel,
that goes on my wrist.

166
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,043
AIl aboard. Woo-woo!

167
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:33,256
It's official. I'm an HO trainiac.

168
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,553
So dinner went nice.

169
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,555
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

170
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,684
Does your mother always cut your meat
for you?

171
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,480
Only when it's fatty.

172
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,566
WeIl, don't be jealous, babe.

173
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,943
Someday, you'll get to cut it for me.

174
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:58,031
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: Bernadette,
I found the extra head for the Water Pik...

175
00:10:58,199 --> 00:10:59,699
...if you wanna use it.

176
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,035
I'm okay, Mrs. wolowitz.

177
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:06,706
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: You sure? l just squirted
half a brisket out of my teeth.

178
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,459
Hey, Ma, how about a little privacy?

179
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:13,797
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
Oh, l know what that means. Hubba-hubba.

180
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:18,176
-Oh, God.
-Relax, it'll be fine.

181
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,678
BERNADETTE: Okay.
HOWARD: Heh.

182
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,222
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
Let me know when you're done canoodIing.

183
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,641
Mommy needs a foot rub.

184
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,605
Do a little dance

185
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,399
Make a little love

186
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,277
Get down tonight

187
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,780
Do a little dance

188
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,448
Make a little love

189
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,783
Get down tonight

190
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,243
Would you like to dance?

191
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,663
No, thank you.
I'm realIy not much of a dancer.

192
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:51,584
You're not exactly winning any trophies
as a conversationaIist, either.

193
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,966
I'm sorry.
The bride and groom seem happy.

194
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,136
Why shouldn't they be?
They have a feverish night...

195
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:04,305
...of sociaIly-approved copulation
ahead of them.

196
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:08,017
In some cultures,
we'd stand outside their room...

197
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:10,395
...cheering as they achieved orgasm.

198
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,983
That sounds like a Iate night,
and I have work in the morning, so....

199
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:19,571
Leonard, you may not have noticed,
but I am being a delight here.

200
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,324
You're not holding up your end
of the evening.

201
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,994
I'm sorry.
This wedding just reminds me...

202
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:29,456
...of my kind-of-sort-of girlfriend
9000 miles away.

203
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:32,417
I have a kind-of-sort-of boyfriend
playing with a model train right now.

204
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,003
You don't hear me bitching about it.

205
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,718
A word of advice.
Moody self-obsession is only attractive...

206
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:45,305
...in men who can play guitar
and are considerably taller than you.

207
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,308
I'm not moody, l'm fun.

208
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:51,186
Do you have any evidence
to support that statement?

209
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,063
WeIl, hey,
I'm just as much fun as you are.

210
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,441
Really?
Are you willing to draw a mustache...

211
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,402
...on your finger
as a conversationaI icebreaker?

212
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,321
I am.

213
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,910
Okay, fine. What do you suggest?

214
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,538
We just had a lovely meal.

215
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:14,167
The band is on fire.

216
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,046
And you're sitting next to a beautiful
woman wearing whorish makeup.

217
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,591
Why don't we head out on the floor...

218
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,427
...and see if I can sweat
through these dress shields?

219
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,388
Once again,
I'm realIy not much of a dancer.

220
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:31,100
Don't worry, I'll lead.

221
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,645
[BAND PLAYlNG "CHlCKEN DANCE"]

222
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,419
[MlMlCKlNG LIGHTSABER BUZZlNG]

223
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,175
Howard?

224
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,844
[MlMlCS LlGHTSABER
POWERlNG DOWN]

225
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,639
-Ready for bed?
-No. I need to brush my teeth...

226
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,559
...but your mother's been
in the bathroom for an hour.

227
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,436
Oh, yeah, she sometimes
has problems doing her business.

228
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:16,980
Hang on, ahem.

229
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:18,439
Ma, give up!

230
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,234
Tonight's not your night!

231
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,654
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
You don't know that, I just sat down!

232
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,447
HOWARD:
Come on, take a break.

233
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,700
Bernadette needs to brush her teeth.

234
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,662
MRS. WOLOWlTZ: She can come in
and brush her teeth. l'm not embarrassed.

235
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,331
Problem solved.

236
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,250
[CHUCKLES]

237
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,086
No, it's not. I'm not going in there.

238
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,673
Oh, come on, honey. She's just
sitting in there reading a magazine.

239
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,426
You can't see anything.
I go in alI the time.

240
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:51,347
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
Ha! The eagle has landed.

241
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,057
[TOILET FLUSHES]

242
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:57,145
And we have splash down.

243
00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:58,897
[HOWARD CLEARS THROAT]

244
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,150
Wait here.
I'm gonna go light a candle.

245
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,653
And then we make passionate love.

246
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,201
[LEONARD GRUNTlNG]

247
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,622
-There we go, last fIoor.
-I just can't figure out what happened.

248
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,207
I put my left leg in,
I took my left leg out.

249
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:22,378
I put my left leg in,
and something just snapped.

250
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,381
The Hokey-Pokey
is a young man's game.

251
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:26,591
[CHUCKLES]

252
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,009
I did have a great time.

253
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,596
Thank you for reminding me
it's okay to have fun once in a whiIe.

254
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,181
You're welcome.

255
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,224
AIso for breaking the head
off the ice swan...

256
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,186
...so I could hold it
against my pulled groin.

257
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,688
I excel at spatial reasoning,
and I had a hunch...

258
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:44,359
...that the graceful slope of its neck
would cradle your genitals nicely.

259
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,863
WeIl, okay. Again, thank you.

260
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,449
And again, you're welcome.

261
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,537
-Wanna come in, have a cup of tea?
-No, I'm gonna head home.

262
00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,706
Okay, well, good night.

263
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,416
Good night.

264
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,676
Ames, hi. How was the wedding?

265
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:13,972
Great. Until l accidentalIy made
Leonard fall in love with me.

266
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,811
Come in, let's talk.

267
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,313
Do you want a glass of wine?

268
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,565
Wine is one of the reasons
I'm in this fix.

269
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,067
That and this dang pelvis.

270
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,030
Okay, l'm sorry,
what exactIy happened?

271
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,784
The inevitable. He was Ionely and
vulnerable from missing his girlfriend.

272
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,370
While l was charming, supportive,
and let's face it...

273
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:41,165
...in this dress, the perfect combination
of Madonna and whore.

274
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:46,254
-Oh, God, did he make a move on you?
-No, but it's only a matter of time.

275
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,715
How could I have not seen this coming?

276
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:52,051
Now l'm gonna have to break
the little sad sack's heart.

277
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,221
I'm sure he'lI be okay.

278
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,181
Oh, Penny.
Much as l would treasure knowing...

279
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,350
...the two of us had been defiled
by the same man...

280
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,686
...Leonard just doesn't get
my motor running.

281
00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:09,694
So, um, what are you gonna do?
Do you want me to talk to Leonard?

282
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,947
-Let him down easy.
-No. I'll let him have tonight.

283
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,116
I'll send him an e-mail...

284
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,286
...letting him know this body
is never gonna be his wonderland.

285
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,915
I mean, frankly, you've got a better shot
than he does.

286
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,720
Leonard, check it out.

287
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,889
I bought an N gage locomotive.

288
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,016
Half the size of HO.

289
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,435
Look, it fits in my mouth.

290
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,938
Sounds like you had a great night.

291
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,066
I did.

292
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,610
-How was yours?
-Not bad.

293
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,279
I had a lot more fun with Amy
than l thought I would.

294
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,532
-What do you mean by that?
-It turns out she really knows...

295
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,285
...how to help a guy loosen up
and have a good time.

296
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:03,164
AIthough, truth be told,
my groin's a little worse for wear.

297
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,792
Ow!

298
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,172
-Why'd you do that?
-To send a message.

299
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,591
She is not for you.

300
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,177
-What?
-Not for you.

301
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,856
Good morning, handsome.

302
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,776
Morning, Mom.

303
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,572
It's me.

304
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,369
Yes, it is.
And you're so pretty in the morning.

305
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,164
Your mom and l made you breakfast.

306
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:48,751
Oh, wow, heh,
so you guys are getting aIong?

307
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,545
Yeah, l guess.

308
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,465
We're very different peopIe, Howard,
so communication's a little tricky.

309
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,843
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
Does he like the pancakes?

310
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,053
He didn't try them yet!

311
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,351
-Is there any butter? Heh.
-It's butter-flavored syrup.

312
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,019
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
So? what's the word?

313
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:09,147
He wants butter!

314
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,859
MRS. WOLOWlTZ:
It's butter-flavored syrup!

315
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,695
I just told him that!

316
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:22,869
I don't need any butter.

317
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:26,080
If you want butter, I'll get you butter.

318
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:33,212
WeIl, I guess l'll cut these by myself.

319
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,452
[English - US - SDH]