1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:03,416
Who wants the last dumpling?
2
00:00:03,536 --> 00:00:04,886
Ooh, me!
3
00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:06,254
Penny, a moment.
4
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:08,339
We just had Thai food.
5
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:11,259
In that culture,
the last morsel is called
6
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,429
the "greng jie" piece,
and it is reserved for
7
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,565
the most important
and valued member of the group.
8
00:00:22,922 --> 00:00:26,574
Thank you all
for this high honor.
9
00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:31,446
I've seen pictures
of your mother; keep eating.
10
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:39,370
All right, honey, if we're gonna
make the movie, we should go.
11
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,959
This may be hard
for you to hear,
12
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:48,046
but when I say "honey,"
I mean my fiancée.
13
00:00:49,882 --> 00:00:52,884
Yeah, well, now it means her.
14
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,604
It's okay if he
wants to come.
15
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:59,223
Fine. But next time,
we get a sitter.
16
00:01:00,809 --> 00:01:02,777
All right, I got to go to work.
I'll walk down with you.
17
00:01:02,779 --> 00:01:04,028
Wait.
18
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,931
Which is closer to the new
train store in Monrovia,
19
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,117
the movie theater
or The Cheesecake Factory?
20
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:11,202
Neither of them are close.
21
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,204
Oh, well, then I guess
it doesn't matter which one
22
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,122
of you drives me.
23
00:01:14,124 --> 00:01:15,573
Let's play a fun guessing game
24
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,291
to see who gets to take me.
25
00:01:17,293 --> 00:01:20,662
All right, this four-letter word
describes either
26
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:24,582
a printer's type size
or a compulsion to eat dirt.
27
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,334
Okay, I'm not driving him.
28
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,753
Penny, don't give up,
you can get this.
29
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,475
Aren't you going
with Sheldon?
30
00:01:34,477 --> 00:01:37,762
No, I have no interest
in model trains,
31
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,516
stores that sell them, nor
their heartbreaking clientele.
32
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,734
Oh.
33
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,937
Well, I have
some work to do, so...
34
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,705
I can't imagine
that would disturb me.
35
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,007
Carry on.
36
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:52,410
Okay.
37
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,662
Wouldn't you be
more comfortable at home?
38
00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:00,952
Not really, no.
39
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,154
All righty then.
40
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,373
Guess I'll just
get started.
41
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,792
Leonard, please. I don't need
the running commentary.
42
00:02:09,077 --> 00:02:12,713
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
43
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:16,050
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
44
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,701
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
45
00:02:17,703 --> 00:02:20,221
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
46
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,890
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
47
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:25,576
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
48
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,478
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
49
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,430
♪ Bang! ♪
50
00:02:29,455 --> 00:02:32,955
The Big Bang Theory 5x03
The Pulled Groin Extrapolation
Original Air Date on September 29, 2011
51
00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:36,456
== sync, corrected by Sp8ky ==
52
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,224
- Amy?
- Yo.
53
00:02:57,799 --> 00:02:58,577
You okay?
54
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,478
Oh, sure.
55
00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:03,414
I thought you were reading.
56
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,332
I was.
57
00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:08,085
Now I'm thinking about
what I read.
58
00:03:20,215 --> 00:03:21,615
You all right, Leonard?
59
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,934
You seem very uncomfortable.
60
00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:27,021
I-I'm fine.
61
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,939
Should I go?
62
00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:31,358
I've been told sometimes
I overstay my welcome.
63
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:34,545
Wha... who told you that?
64
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:38,949
Well, most recently
my gynecologist.
65
00:03:43,872 --> 00:03:46,690
Well, you stay
as long as you'd like.
66
00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:48,242
I'm glad to hear you say that,
67
00:03:48,244 --> 00:03:51,295
because I'm having
a wonderful time.
68
00:03:52,381 --> 00:03:56,133
I said the same thing
to my gynecologist.
69
00:03:59,971 --> 00:04:02,890
What are you going to get
at the train store, Sheldon?
70
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:04,842
Oh, I'm not
buying anything.
71
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:06,877
They're having a lecture.
72
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,979
"H-O gauge railroading.
73
00:04:08,981 --> 00:04:12,599
Half the size of O-gauge,
but twice the fun."
74
00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:15,986
Very controversial topic.
75
00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:17,888
Which side do you come down on?
76
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,990
I'll let you know after tonight.
77
00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:22,693
Unlike some people,
I'm going in with an open mind.
78
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:24,578
Who am I kidding?
79
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:27,731
Of course we all know
it's O-gauge or no gauge.
80
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:31,919
Can you believe grown men sit
around and play with toy trains?
81
00:04:31,921 --> 00:04:34,171
That's pretty big talk
for a man
82
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:37,424
with a closet full of magic
tricks at his mother's house.
83
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,462
First of all, they're not
tricks, they're illusions.
84
00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:43,630
And...
85
00:04:43,632 --> 00:04:46,183
secondly, when we get
married, they're all going up
86
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:49,019
in the attic so you can have
that closet for clothes.
87
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,939
Why would I keep clothes
at your mother's house?
88
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:53,607
Well, don't think
of it that way.
89
00:04:53,609 --> 00:04:55,759
Once we move in,
it'll be our house.
90
00:04:55,761 --> 00:04:57,227
Is she moving out?
91
00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:58,595
Why would
she move out?
92
00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,364
It's her house.
93
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,766
Hang on.
94
00:05:02,768 --> 00:05:05,953
You seriously think I'm going
to live with your mother?
95
00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:07,571
Howard, I think
I can help here.
96
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:10,207
Yes, Bernadette,
that's exactly what he thinks.
97
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,325
Why not?
98
00:05:11,327 --> 00:05:13,410
It's a great house,
plenty of room,
99
00:05:13,412 --> 00:05:15,496
and if we have kids,
Mom's there to help.
100
00:05:15,498 --> 00:05:17,381
You know, en she tells "The
Three Little Pigs" story,
101
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:21,168
she actually has hair
on her chinny-chin-chin.
102
00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:23,670
I'm not gonna live
with your mother.
103
00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:26,456
Not now, not ever.
104
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:30,144
Wow, someone obviously
has some mommy issues.
105
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:33,797
Raj, take me home.
106
00:05:33,799 --> 00:05:36,233
Don't listen to her.
Go to the movie theater.
107
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,601
Take me home now.
108
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:38,569
Movie theater!
109
00:05:39,572 --> 00:05:42,105
Okay, everybody
calm down.
110
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:43,774
There is a simple
solution here.
111
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,359
Raj, take me to the train store,
112
00:05:45,361 --> 00:05:47,661
and then I don't care
what you people do.
113
00:05:54,953 --> 00:05:56,620
How was your shower?
114
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,990
It was good, good.
115
00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:03,260
Just out of curiosity, what time
do you usually go to bed?
116
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,595
Oh, I'm up all night.
117
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,346
I'm like a possum.
118
00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:11,068
Boy, you were not liked
in high school, were you?
119
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:12,586
Not really.
120
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:14,438
- Is that my yearbook?
- Mm-hmm.
121
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,607
"Dear Leonard,
you're really good at science.
122
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:20,310
Maybe one day you'll come up
with a cure for being a dork."
123
00:06:20,312 --> 00:06:22,813
Well, it wasn't spray-painting
a lightning bolt
124
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:25,949
on my briefcase,
I can tell you that.
125
00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:27,367
If it makes you feel any better,
126
00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:29,620
the only person who signed
my yearbook was my mother.
127
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,555
- Aw.
- "Dear Amy,
128
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,157
"Self-respect and a hymen
are better than friends and fun.
129
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,492
Love, Mom."
130
00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:39,863
Well, you can add
Jerry's Junction
131
00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,465
to the list of train stores
132
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:44,868
Sheldon Cooper will never
set foot in again.
133
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:47,487
Rough night, Casey Jones?
134
00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:49,256
You don't know
the half of it.
135
00:06:49,258 --> 00:06:50,641
It was billed
136
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,594
as a lively give-and-take on
the merits of model train sizes.
137
00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:56,146
But it was actually a setup
to intimidate
138
00:06:56,148 --> 00:06:59,733
weak-minded spineless rubes
into buying H-O starter sets.
139
00:06:59,735 --> 00:07:00,851
What's in the bag?
140
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:04,271
I don't want to talk about it.
141
00:07:04,273 --> 00:07:07,157
But it's not a spine,
I'll tell you that.
142
00:07:07,159 --> 00:07:09,826
Well, I had a delightful
evening, Leonard.
143
00:07:09,828 --> 00:07:11,161
We should do this
again sometime.
144
00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:13,196
Ah, sure.
That'd be nice.
145
00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:14,281
Glad to hear it.
146
00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:16,066
I need someone to accompany me
to the wedding
147
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,285
of Dr. Moranelli
and Dr. Gustufson this Friday.
148
00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:19,920
They're kind of
the Brad and Angelina
149
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,905
of the primatology department.
150
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:23,340
Wouldn't you rather
bring Sheldon?
151
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:26,827
I would, but the last wedding
we went to was a disaster.
152
00:07:26,829 --> 00:07:29,263
He behaved like a child
the entire time.
153
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:30,597
Not my fault.
154
00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:33,850
You said there'd be
other scientists there my age.
155
00:07:37,605 --> 00:07:39,189
Doesn't matter.
You're out, he's in.
156
00:07:39,191 --> 00:07:41,642
No date to the prom,
two dates to a wedding.
157
00:07:41,644 --> 00:07:44,728
Hmm, how times change.
158
00:07:47,699 --> 00:07:50,734
Ha-ha, you have
to go to a wedding.
159
00:07:55,774 --> 00:07:56,773
I'll get it!
160
00:07:56,775 --> 00:07:57,941
Could you get it?!
161
00:07:57,943 --> 00:07:59,376
I just said
I'm getting it!
162
00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:00,777
Fine, I'll get it!
163
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:03,413
I got it!
164
00:08:04,248 --> 00:08:05,999
Oh, hi.
165
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,250
Hey.
166
00:08:07,252 --> 00:08:08,719
I don't want to fight.
167
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,837
I was just surprised
when you sprung
168
00:08:10,839 --> 00:08:12,723
the whole living-with-your-mom
stuff on me.
169
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:17,144
Yeah, well, I'm sorry I
didn't run it by you first.
170
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,262
I don't know who
you're talking to,
171
00:08:19,264 --> 00:08:20,297
but in or out!
172
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:23,367
We don't need bugs!
173
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,569
The bugs
only come here
174
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:27,771
because you're
their queen!
175
00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:32,826
Listen, how about this.
176
00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:34,745
Before we make any
kind of decision
177
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,080
about where we live,
we have a trial run.
178
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:39,082
Stay here for a weekend,
see what it's like.
179
00:08:39,084 --> 00:08:41,084
And your mom would be
okay with that?
180
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:42,369
Sure she would.
181
00:08:42,371 --> 00:08:44,988
Ma, do you mind if Bernadette
stays here this weekend?!
182
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,708
Hey, if she's willing to
give the milk away for free,
183
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:49,876
who am I to say no?!
184
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,965
See? She's
good with it.
185
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:57,500
Frankly, after all
your sleepovers
186
00:08:57,502 --> 00:09:01,388
with the little brown boy,
a girl is a big relief!
187
00:09:13,257 --> 00:09:16,460
All these years,
I've been so wrong.
188
00:09:16,462 --> 00:09:20,497
The tinier the train,
the more concentrated the fun.
189
00:09:24,502 --> 00:09:26,269
You're a brain scientist.
190
00:09:26,271 --> 00:09:28,338
Can you explain to me
why a brilliant man
191
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:29,672
likes playing
with toy trains?
192
00:09:29,674 --> 00:09:32,359
Not without cutting
his head open, no.
193
00:09:33,861 --> 00:09:36,279
How about making my
eyes like Cleopatra?
194
00:09:36,281 --> 00:09:38,231
Really? For a wedding?
195
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:39,566
Perhaps you're right.
196
00:09:39,568 --> 00:09:41,184
My cheekbones and
beckoning pelvis
197
00:09:41,186 --> 00:09:43,820
already have a certain "hello
sailor" quality to them.
198
00:09:44,822 --> 00:09:46,706
Ready.
199
00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:49,209
Aw.
200
00:09:49,211 --> 00:09:50,994
So handsome.
201
00:09:50,996 --> 00:09:53,129
Like James Bond.
202
00:09:53,131 --> 00:09:57,133
He's better than James Bond,
because he's tinier.
203
00:09:57,919 --> 00:10:00,487
I got you this
to give to me.
204
00:10:00,489 --> 00:10:03,723
Oh, sweetie,
guests don't normally
205
00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:05,225
wear corsages to a wedding.
206
00:10:05,227 --> 00:10:06,760
That's more of a prom thing.
207
00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:07,978
I never went to my prom.
208
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,729
My mom paid my cousin
to take me,
209
00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:12,816
but he just used the money
to buy drugs.
210
00:10:12,818 --> 00:10:15,435
Put the corsage on her.
211
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,086
Amy, this is for you.
212
00:10:21,058 --> 00:10:24,578
When you're done copping a
feel, that goes on my wrist.
213
00:10:27,731 --> 00:10:29,266
All aboard!
214
00:10:29,268 --> 00:10:31,918
Woo-woo!
215
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,620
It's official.
216
00:10:33,622 --> 00:10:36,006
I'm an H-O trainiac.
217
00:10:39,076 --> 00:10:42,078
So, dinner
went nice.
218
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:43,930
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
219
00:10:43,932 --> 00:10:48,718
Does your mother always
cut your meat for you?
220
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,055
Only when it's fatty.
221
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,975
Well, don't be jealous, babe.
222
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:57,360
Someday you'll get to cut it
for me.
223
00:10:57,362 --> 00:10:59,362
Bernadette!
224
00:10:59,364 --> 00:11:03,199
I found the extra head for the
Waterpik if you want to use it!
225
00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:05,535
I'm okay, Mrs. Wolowitz.
226
00:11:05,537 --> 00:11:06,769
You sure?!
227
00:11:06,771 --> 00:11:10,373
I just squirted half a
brisket outta my teeth!
228
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:13,209
Hey, Ma, how about
a little privacy?!
229
00:11:13,211 --> 00:11:15,445
Oh, I know what that means!
230
00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:17,247
Hubba-hubba!
231
00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:19,449
Oh, God.
232
00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:21,585
Relax, it'll be fine.
233
00:11:21,587 --> 00:11:23,219
Okay.
234
00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:25,922
Let me know when
you're done canoodling!
235
00:11:25,924 --> 00:11:28,224
Mommy needs a foot rub!
236
00:11:31,846 --> 00:11:34,114
♪ ♪
237
00:11:44,859 --> 00:11:46,660
Would you like to dance?
238
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,078
No, thank you.
239
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,246
I'm really not
much of a dancer.
240
00:11:51,115 --> 00:11:53,116
You're not exactly
winning any trophies
241
00:11:53,118 --> 00:11:55,168
as a conversationalist, either.
242
00:11:57,338 --> 00:11:59,789
I'm sorry.
243
00:11:59,791 --> 00:12:01,324
The bride and groom
seem happy.
244
00:12:01,326 --> 00:12:03,159
Why shouldn't they be?
245
00:12:03,161 --> 00:12:04,761
They have a feverish night of
246
00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:06,880
socially-approved
copulation ahead of them.
247
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:11,417
In some cultures, we'd stand
outside of their bedroom
248
00:12:11,419 --> 00:12:13,386
cheering as they
achieved orgasm.
249
00:12:13,388 --> 00:12:15,705
That sounds like
a late night,
250
00:12:15,707 --> 00:12:18,591
and I have work in
the morning, so...
251
00:12:18,593 --> 00:12:20,877
Leonard, you may
not have noticed,
252
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:23,346
but I am being
a delight here.
253
00:12:24,532 --> 00:12:26,883
And you're not holding up
your end of the evening.
254
00:12:26,885 --> 00:12:29,485
Oh, sorry. This wedding
just reminds me
255
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:33,106
of my kinda-sorta girlfriend
9,000 miles away.
256
00:12:33,108 --> 00:12:35,892
I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend
who's playing with a model train
257
00:12:35,894 --> 00:12:38,828
right now, you don't hear me
bitching about it.
258
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:44,233
Leonard, a word of advice--
moody self-obsession
259
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:46,619
is only attractive in men
who can play guitar
260
00:12:46,621 --> 00:12:48,955
and are considerably
taller than you.
261
00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:50,657
I'm not moody.
262
00:12:50,659 --> 00:12:51,925
I'm fun.
263
00:12:51,927 --> 00:12:54,844
You have any evidence
to support that statement?
264
00:12:54,846 --> 00:12:57,680
Well, hey, I'm just as
much fun as you are.
265
00:12:57,682 --> 00:13:00,600
Really? Are you willing to draw
a mustache on your finger
266
00:13:00,602 --> 00:13:03,269
as a conversational icebreaker?
267
00:13:03,271 --> 00:13:06,222
I am.
268
00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:10,443
Okay, fine, what
do you suggest?
269
00:13:10,445 --> 00:13:12,428
♪ ♪
270
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,263
We just had a lovely meal,
271
00:13:14,265 --> 00:13:18,034
the band... is on fire...
272
00:13:18,036 --> 00:13:20,102
and you're sitting
next to a beautiful woman
273
00:13:20,104 --> 00:13:21,821
wearing whorish makeup.
274
00:13:23,123 --> 00:13:25,107
Why don't we head out
on the dance floor
275
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:27,543
and see if I can sweat
through these dress shields.
276
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:31,030
Once again, I-I'm really
not much of a dancer.
277
00:13:31,032 --> 00:13:32,548
Don't worry...
278
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:35,168
I'll lead.
279
00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:07,116
Howard?
280
00:14:09,871 --> 00:14:11,504
Ready for bed?
281
00:14:11,506 --> 00:14:13,923
No. I need to brush my teeth,
but your mother's
282
00:14:13,925 --> 00:14:16,158
been in the bathroom
for, like, an hour.
283
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,713
Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems
doing her business. Hang on.
284
00:14:20,715 --> 00:14:22,131
Ma, give up!
285
00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:25,101
Tonight's
not your night!
286
00:14:25,103 --> 00:14:28,271
You don't know that!
I just sat down!
287
00:14:28,273 --> 00:14:30,106
Come on, take a break!
288
00:14:30,108 --> 00:14:32,258
Bernadette needs
to brush her teeth!
289
00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,293
She can come in
and brush her teeth!
290
00:14:34,295 --> 00:14:37,230
I'm not embarrassed!
291
00:14:37,232 --> 00:14:39,532
Problem solved.
292
00:14:41,018 --> 00:14:43,703
No, it's not.
I'm not going in there.
293
00:14:43,705 --> 00:14:44,954
Oh, come on, honey.
294
00:14:44,956 --> 00:14:47,040
She's just sitting in there
reading a magazine.
295
00:14:47,042 --> 00:14:48,241
You can't see anything.
296
00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,076
I go in all the time.
297
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,647
Ha! The eagle has landed!
298
00:14:58,002 --> 00:15:00,720
And we have splashdown.
299
00:15:02,507 --> 00:15:05,758
Wait here, I'm gonna
go light a candle.
300
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,395
And then we make
passionate love.
301
00:15:15,385 --> 00:15:16,986
There we go, last floor.
302
00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:18,738
I just can't figure
out what happened.
303
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:21,741
I put my left leg in,
I took my left leg out,
304
00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:26,112
I put my left leg in, and
something just snapped.
305
00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,948
The hokey pokey
is a young man's game.
306
00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:31,417
I did have a great time.
307
00:15:31,419 --> 00:15:32,752
Thank you for reminding me
308
00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:35,254
it's okay to have fun
once in a while.
309
00:15:35,256 --> 00:15:36,739
You're welcome.
310
00:15:36,741 --> 00:15:38,841
And also for breaking
the head off the ice swan
311
00:15:38,843 --> 00:15:40,760
so I could hold it against
my pulled groin.
312
00:15:40,762 --> 00:15:42,462
I excel
313
00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:45,414
at spatial reasoning, and I had
a hunch that the graceful slope
314
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:48,134
of its neck would cradle
your genitals nicely.
315
00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:52,555
Well, okay.
Again, thank you.
316
00:15:52,557 --> 00:15:55,224
And again, you're welcome.
317
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:58,478
Want to come in have a cup of tea?
318
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,146
No, thanks.
I'm gonna head home.
319
00:16:00,148 --> 00:16:02,315
'Kay. Well, good night.
320
00:16:02,317 --> 00:16:04,951
Good night.
321
00:16:10,841 --> 00:16:13,275
Ames, hi.
How was the wedding?
322
00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:18,297
Great. Until I accidentally made
Leonard fall in love with me.
323
00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:22,468
Come in, let's talk.
324
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,922
Do you want a
glass of wine?
325
00:16:25,924 --> 00:16:28,391
Wine is one of the reasons
I'm in this fix.
326
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:29,842
That and this dang pelvis.
327
00:16:32,012 --> 00:16:34,664
Okay, I'm sorry,
what exactly happened?
328
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:36,916
The inevitable--
he was lonely and vulnerable
329
00:16:36,918 --> 00:16:38,417
from missing his girlfriend,
330
00:16:38,419 --> 00:16:39,635
while I was charming,
331
00:16:39,637 --> 00:16:41,704
supportive and,
let's face it, in this dress,
332
00:16:41,706 --> 00:16:45,341
the perfect combination
of Madonna and whore.
333
00:16:45,343 --> 00:16:48,094
Oh, God,
did he make a move on you?
334
00:16:48,096 --> 00:16:49,879
No, but it's only
a matter of time.
335
00:16:49,881 --> 00:16:52,565
How could I have not
seen this coming?
336
00:16:52,567 --> 00:16:56,686
Now I'm gonna have to break
the little sad sack's heart.
337
00:16:56,688 --> 00:16:59,438
- Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay.
- Oh, Penny,
338
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,325
much as I would treasure
knowing that the two of us had
339
00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:03,993
been defiled by the same man,
340
00:17:03,995 --> 00:17:05,995
Leonard just doesn't get
my motor running.
341
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,534
So, um, what are
you gonna do?
342
00:17:11,536 --> 00:17:14,453
Do you want me to talk
to Leonard, let him down easy?
343
00:17:14,455 --> 00:17:16,822
No. I'll let him have tonight.
344
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:17,907
Then in the morning,
345
00:17:17,909 --> 00:17:19,709
I'll send him an e-mail
letting him know
346
00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:22,294
this body is never
gonna be his wonderland.
347
00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:27,199
I mean, frankly, you've got
a better shot than he does.
348
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,377
Leonard.
349
00:17:38,379 --> 00:17:39,845
Check it out.
350
00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:42,047
I bought an N-gauge locomotive.
351
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:44,149
Half the size of H-O.
352
00:17:44,151 --> 00:17:47,653
Look, it fits in my mouth.
353
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,989
Sounds like you
had a great night.
354
00:17:49,991 --> 00:17:52,057
I did.
355
00:17:52,059 --> 00:17:54,994
- How was yours?
- Not bad. I had a lot more fun
356
00:17:54,996 --> 00:17:56,728
with Amy than I
thought I would.
357
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:59,114
What exact
do you mean by that?
358
00:17:59,116 --> 00:18:00,699
Well, it turns out
she really knows
359
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:03,452
how to help a guy loosen up
and have a good time.
360
00:18:03,454 --> 00:18:07,456
Although, truth be told, my
groin's a little worse for wear.
361
00:18:08,291 --> 00:18:10,592
Ow!
362
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:14,179
Why did you do that?
363
00:18:14,181 --> 00:18:17,683
To send a message:
she is not for you.
364
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:19,084
What?
365
00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:20,436
Not for you!
366
00:18:32,197 --> 00:18:34,882
Good morning, handsome.
367
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:37,701
Morning, Mom.
368
00:18:39,004 --> 00:18:40,888
It's me.
369
00:18:43,008 --> 00:18:46,710
Yes, it is, and you're
so pretty in the morning.
370
00:18:48,313 --> 00:18:50,381
Your mom and I
made you breakfast.
371
00:18:50,383 --> 00:18:51,766
Oh, wow.
372
00:18:51,768 --> 00:18:53,985
So you guys are getting along?
373
00:18:53,987 --> 00:18:55,603
Yeah, I guess.
374
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:57,388
We're very different
people, Howard,
375
00:18:57,390 --> 00:19:00,224
so communication's
a little tricky.
376
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,110
Does he like the pancakes?!
377
00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:04,412
He didn't try them yet!
378
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:08,851
Is there any butter?
379
00:19:08,853 --> 00:19:10,870
- It's butter-flavored syrup.
- Oh.
380
00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:12,538
So, what's the word?!
381
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,790
He wants butter!
382
00:19:16,093 --> 00:19:18,327
It's butter-flavored syrup!
383
00:19:18,329 --> 00:19:20,996
I just told him that!
384
00:19:26,369 --> 00:19:28,337
I don't need any butter.
385
00:19:28,339 --> 00:19:31,757
If you want butter,
I'll get you butter.
386
00:19:35,262 --> 00:19:37,179
Well, I guess
I'll cut these by myself.
387
00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:41,181
== sync, corrected by Sp8ky ==