1
00:00:00,887 --> 00:00:03,152
By the end of WWII President Roosevelt
2
00:00:03,272 --> 00:00:05,510
had finally succumbed
to the polio
3
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:09,977
that afflicted him
his entire life.
4
00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:12,380
Which brings me to
the Yalta Conference.
5
00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:14,532
Who can tell me three
key points brought up there?
6
00:00:14,583 --> 00:00:15,950
Annie.
7
00:00:16,018 --> 00:00:17,018
The demilitarization
of Germany--
8
00:00:17,052 --> 00:00:18,019
I'm sorry.
9
00:00:18,053 --> 00:00:20,004
Annie Kim.
10
00:00:20,038 --> 00:00:21,939
The demilitarization
of Germany,
11
00:00:21,974 --> 00:00:23,324
the establishment
of Poland's borders
12
00:00:23,358 --> 00:00:25,159
and the formation of
the United Nations.
13
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,528
Side note: The results
of Yalta would later
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00:00:27,563 --> 00:00:29,196
set the stage for the Cold War.
15
00:00:29,231 --> 00:00:31,332
Oh, boy, spoiler alert.
16
00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:36,270
Somebody just won
a ride in the wheelchair.
17
00:00:36,305 --> 00:00:38,189
I'm proud of you
for deciding on a major, Britta.
18
00:00:38,223 --> 00:00:39,640
I'd like to thank the lord
in my prayers about you,
19
00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:41,726
but you're still dressing
like a streetwalker.
20
00:00:41,777 --> 00:00:43,027
Yep, I'm getting serious.
21
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:45,196
I got a backpack,
I got a new notebook.
22
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,231
Oh, I got one of
those see-through yellow pens
23
00:00:47,282 --> 00:00:49,066
so I can do that thing
where you color in the words.
24
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,234
Highlight?
25
00:00:50,285 --> 00:00:51,702
Probably the backpack.
26
00:00:51,737 --> 00:00:52,987
Free the damascus three.
27
00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,656
Oh, thanks.
Oh, whoa.
28
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:56,791
I know this girl.
29
00:00:56,825 --> 00:00:58,459
We used to protest together
all the time
30
00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,361
and now she's locked up
in Syria.
31
00:01:00,379 --> 00:01:01,579
Oh, that's terrible.
32
00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:02,964
Yes, it's terrible.
33
00:01:02,998 --> 00:01:04,715
She's imprisoned
by an oppressive regime
34
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,968
halfway around the world
and I'm, what?
35
00:01:07,002 --> 00:01:08,252
In college?
36
00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:10,304
Where are my values?
37
00:01:10,339 --> 00:01:13,641
Man, she's got
a Facebook group?
38
00:01:13,675 --> 00:01:15,977
My first cop flashlight.
39
00:01:16,011 --> 00:01:19,230
Can't wait to get some brains
on this bad boy.
40
00:01:19,264 --> 00:01:20,948
Are you safe, ma'am?
Everything okay?
41
00:01:20,983 --> 00:01:22,383
Is this guy bothering you?
42
00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:23,985
- Huh? Huh?
- Hey!
43
00:01:24,019 --> 00:01:25,552
Who the hell
do you think you are?
44
00:01:25,570 --> 00:01:27,154
The badge says
to serve and protect!
45
00:01:27,189 --> 00:01:28,773
No, it doesn't.
46
00:01:28,824 --> 00:01:32,460
"How's my smile?"
Oh, man.
47
00:01:32,494 --> 00:01:34,278
What the hell am I
in charge of?
48
00:01:34,329 --> 00:01:35,896
See this garbage can?
49
00:01:35,914 --> 00:01:38,232
Students coming out
of the library bump into it.
50
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,501
You can serve and protect them
from a nasty boo-boo.
51
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,769
What do I do if I see a crime?
52
00:01:41,803 --> 00:01:43,771
What a security guard does--
53
00:01:43,805 --> 00:01:45,706
Call a cop.
54
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:47,291
Where'd you even get these?
55
00:01:47,342 --> 00:01:48,843
- Come on, let me keep them.
- No.
56
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:51,178
Please?
I swear they're just for sex!
57
00:01:51,203 --> 00:02:00,403
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:01,023 --> 00:02:05,526
♪ We could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
59
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:10,815
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
60
00:02:10,866 --> 00:02:16,070
♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
61
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:23,445
And this ragtag group
of cut-ups is my study group.
62
00:02:23,565 --> 00:02:26,500
Gang, this is Annie Kim
from my Poli-Sci class.
63
00:02:26,534 --> 00:02:28,869
We just figured out we had
the same G.P.A. in high school.
64
00:02:28,903 --> 00:02:31,438
Well, mine was higher if you
consider my school's ranking.
65
00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:33,607
Well, it sounds like you had
a lighter course load, so.
66
00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:34,708
Well, I was in a lot of clubs.
67
00:02:34,742 --> 00:02:36,109
I founded 17 of them.
68
00:02:36,144 --> 00:02:37,611
Well, I was actually thinking
about founding a model U.N.
69
00:02:37,645 --> 00:02:39,279
here at Greendale.
Any interest?
70
00:02:39,314 --> 00:02:40,747
I'll probably be busy,
71
00:02:40,782 --> 00:02:42,349
and you probably need to study,
72
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:43,700
so see you in class.
73
00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:46,587
Okay, goodbye.
74
00:02:46,621 --> 00:02:48,488
Wow, Annie.
75
00:02:48,506 --> 00:02:50,857
How progressive of you to have
a multicultural evil twin.
76
00:02:50,892 --> 00:02:51,858
An Asian Annie.
77
00:02:51,893 --> 00:02:53,594
Obama's America.
78
00:02:53,628 --> 00:02:55,862
Her name is Annie Kim,
79
00:02:55,897 --> 00:02:56,897
and she's not evil.
80
00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:57,931
She's my friend.
81
00:02:57,966 --> 00:02:59,199
Didn't look like it.
82
00:02:59,234 --> 00:03:00,667
Yeah, you seemed pretty
competitive with her.
83
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:02,869
You be careful, Annie.
They are ruthless.
84
00:03:02,904 --> 00:03:04,371
What?
[Gasping]
85
00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:06,172
What? Not Asians.
86
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,190
Women.
87
00:03:07,225 --> 00:03:08,742
I'm not competing with her.
88
00:03:08,776 --> 00:03:10,176
I find her adorable.
89
00:03:10,194 --> 00:03:11,511
She's like a younger me.
90
00:03:11,546 --> 00:03:13,063
You mean the younger you
that took so much Adderall
91
00:03:13,114 --> 00:03:14,514
she tried to straighten
the lines on our high school
92
00:03:14,532 --> 00:03:15,882
football field during a game?
93
00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:17,351
Ooh, be careful, Annie.
94
00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:18,385
You don't want this little girl
95
00:03:18,419 --> 00:03:19,720
to suck you back
to the dark side.
96
00:03:19,754 --> 00:03:21,888
Hey, guys,
what're you trying to do here?
97
00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,189
This is our Annie.
98
00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,592
That little twerp
is a can of Annie lite.
99
00:03:25,627 --> 00:03:27,127
She couldn't hold a candle
to the real thing
100
00:03:27,161 --> 00:03:30,130
in any category of anything.
101
00:03:30,164 --> 00:03:31,531
Aw, well, I wasn't
fishing for that.
102
00:03:31,566 --> 00:03:34,101
You're the best, kiddo.
103
00:03:34,135 --> 00:03:35,102
You know what else
was the best?
104
00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,336
The rainforests.
105
00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:38,672
Too bad the fascist oligarchies
are raping them
106
00:03:38,706 --> 00:03:42,142
to make hamburgers.
Look it up.
107
00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:43,777
[Raspberries]
108
00:03:43,811 --> 00:03:45,779
Looks like someone woke up
on the regular side of the bed.
109
00:03:45,813 --> 00:03:47,347
Britta's just having
a rough time
110
00:03:47,382 --> 00:03:49,149
because her friend's in prison.
111
00:03:49,183 --> 00:03:50,417
I went to her Facebook page.
112
00:03:50,451 --> 00:03:53,387
It says she was tear-gassed
and possibly beaten.
113
00:03:53,421 --> 00:03:55,989
I haven't been tear-gassed
in so long.
114
00:03:56,024 --> 00:03:57,574
Well, you're on a new path now.
115
00:03:57,608 --> 00:03:59,926
Oh, goody, a new path.
116
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:03,330
Is it lined with credit cards
and flat screen TVs?
117
00:04:03,364 --> 00:04:05,465
Does it go by an Ikea?
118
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,833
Maybe I don't want a new path!
119
00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:07,918
Or any path.
120
00:04:07,952 --> 00:04:10,587
Maybe my path is a war path
121
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:14,541
that leads
to the terrordome, n-words!
122
00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:16,943
Okay, maybe I went too far.
123
00:04:16,978 --> 00:04:19,412
Maybe I don't want to offend
my African-American friends,
124
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,298
but the larger point is,
125
00:04:21,349 --> 00:04:26,436
maybe I'm not done
raging against the machine.
126
00:04:26,471 --> 00:04:27,454
Raging against the what?
127
00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:28,622
That sounds dangerous.
128
00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:31,158
Don't worry.
She'll be bad at it.
129
00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:33,110
Keep clear of the can.
130
00:04:33,144 --> 00:04:37,564
Sir, step around the can.
131
00:04:37,598 --> 00:04:40,317
Mind the can, student.
132
00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:45,438
[Dramatic music]
133
00:04:45,456 --> 00:04:48,442
♪ Hello ♪
134
00:04:48,476 --> 00:04:52,662
♪ is it me you're looking for ♪
135
00:04:52,714 --> 00:04:55,849
♪ I can see it in your eyes ♪
136
00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:57,617
You just got yourself
a warning.
137
00:04:57,635 --> 00:04:59,503
I piss warnings, pig.
138
00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:04,958
♪ You're all
I ever wanted... ♪
139
00:05:13,935 --> 00:05:17,687
[Gags]
140
00:05:17,739 --> 00:05:20,841
And that's how we do that.
141
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,743
Hey!
142
00:05:22,777 --> 00:05:25,779
I got my eye on you, missy.
143
00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:37,674
[Gasps]
144
00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:40,861
Hi.
145
00:05:40,863 --> 00:05:42,529
You okay, kiddo?
146
00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:44,464
Yeah, yeah.
You know what's funny?
147
00:05:44,499 --> 00:05:45,599
This is so silly.
148
00:05:45,633 --> 00:05:47,601
Remember little Annie Kim
from Poli-Sci?
149
00:05:47,635 --> 00:05:49,803
Boy, she just...
took my model U.N. idea
150
00:05:49,837 --> 00:05:52,222
and just...
[Chuckles]
151
00:05:52,273 --> 00:05:53,840
She is quite
the little go-getter.
152
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,442
Wait, what?
153
00:05:55,476 --> 00:05:56,560
She stole your idea?
154
00:05:56,611 --> 00:05:57,727
Sneak attack.
155
00:05:57,779 --> 00:05:59,613
That's just like--
156
00:05:59,647 --> 00:06:01,615
Not women, Asians.
157
00:06:01,649 --> 00:06:04,151
Well, the real important thing
is that there is a model U.N.
158
00:06:04,185 --> 00:06:06,153
It doesn't really matter
who starts it.
159
00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:08,221
It just means her name
goes on some charter
160
00:06:08,256 --> 00:06:10,207
and she gets to put it
on her résumé.
161
00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:13,126
And lead the Greendale team
to the national model U.N.,
162
00:06:13,161 --> 00:06:16,362
and meet Kofi Annan, Boutros
Boutros Ghali, and Will.I.Am.
163
00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:18,381
[Gasps]
Boutros Boutros Ghali?
164
00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:20,467
I'm gonna find
this little brat's off-switch.
165
00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:21,534
Jeff!
166
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,036
He's just being protective.
167
00:06:23,054 --> 00:06:24,721
I'll stop him.
168
00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:26,740
I am so excited that
we finally have a model U.N.
169
00:06:26,774 --> 00:06:28,041
here at Greendale.
170
00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:29,776
I am really, really, really,
really, really, really
171
00:06:29,811 --> 00:06:31,044
into model U.N.s.
172
00:06:31,078 --> 00:06:32,913
They used to call me model U.N.
guy back in college.
173
00:06:32,947 --> 00:06:36,216
Well, that's not--
don't research that.
174
00:06:36,234 --> 00:06:38,985
The important thing here
is that I am really--
175
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,821
Pardon me, Professor Cligoris.
176
00:06:40,855 --> 00:06:42,239
Cligoris?
177
00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:44,591
Either pronunciation is fine?
Are you here for the model U.N.?
178
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:46,960
I'm here to tell you
that the entire idea
179
00:06:46,994 --> 00:06:49,946
to have a model U.N.
was hers.
180
00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:52,732
Really? So you're
Clark M. Eichelburger.
181
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,168
So I've had your photo around my
neck since I was in high school.
182
00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:56,770
I'm talking about
the Greendale model U.N.
183
00:06:56,804 --> 00:07:00,841
My Annie gave
this other Annie the idea
184
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,409
and the diabolical
little b--usybody
185
00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:04,044
stabbed her in the back.
186
00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:05,378
It's childish.
187
00:07:05,413 --> 00:07:07,781
Honestly I'm just happy
there is a model U.N.
188
00:07:07,815 --> 00:07:08,982
Annie, is this true?
189
00:07:09,016 --> 00:07:12,919
I recall other Annie
mentioned the concept,
190
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,420
but she certainly
didn't take the initiative
191
00:07:14,438 --> 00:07:16,456
to find a faculty advisor.
192
00:07:16,491 --> 00:07:18,058
I didn't know that all you had
to do was call dibs.
193
00:07:18,092 --> 00:07:19,226
I'm not calling dibs.
194
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,810
Because I'm not a petty
competitive child
195
00:07:20,862 --> 00:07:22,479
that steals ideas.
196
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:24,531
I simply refuse to acknowledge
the authority
197
00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:26,099
of your criminal model U.N.
198
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:27,234
So don't recognize it.
199
00:07:27,268 --> 00:07:28,468
It still exists.
200
00:07:28,503 --> 00:07:30,937
Oh, then Annie'll just
start her own model U.N.
201
00:07:30,955 --> 00:07:32,105
Yeah, for grown-ups.
202
00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:33,473
Well, I still don't
recognize it.
203
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:35,308
Well, it exists, baby!
204
00:07:35,343 --> 00:07:36,576
I'm sorry, I don't understand
your relationship here.
205
00:07:36,611 --> 00:07:38,211
Is he your father
or your lover?
206
00:07:38,246 --> 00:07:39,496
- [Gasps]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
207
00:07:39,547 --> 00:07:40,614
There can only be one
model U.N.
208
00:07:40,648 --> 00:07:42,082
that officially represents
this school
209
00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:43,717
so let's take our foot
off the crazy pedal
210
00:07:43,751 --> 00:07:44,985
for just a moment here.
211
00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:46,953
There's only one rational way
to settle this.
212
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,723
A head-to-head model U.N.
Battle Royale,
213
00:07:49,757 --> 00:07:55,028
the rules to which I would have
to spend the evening devising.
214
00:07:55,062 --> 00:07:56,730
We'll have the competition
tomorrow
215
00:07:56,764 --> 00:07:58,198
in the cafeteria
at 7:00 P.M.
216
00:07:58,232 --> 00:08:00,734
May the most United Nations win.
217
00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:02,235
- Fair enough.
- Totally fair.
218
00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:04,971
I'll see you in the fair papers,
other Annie.
219
00:08:04,989 --> 00:08:07,490
Oh, and you were asking
what our relationship is?
220
00:08:07,525 --> 00:08:08,692
- We're friends.
- Yeah.
221
00:08:08,743 --> 00:08:10,076
- Good friends.
- Grown-up friends.
222
00:08:10,111 --> 00:08:11,077
- Yeah.
- So.
223
00:08:11,112 --> 00:08:14,881
[Laughing]
224
00:08:14,916 --> 00:08:16,349
We're friendly.
225
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,868
So, the key to winning this thing is
226
00:08:21,988 --> 00:08:23,689
when in doubt,
agree with Annie.
227
00:08:23,723 --> 00:08:24,723
That's sweet, Jeff.
228
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:26,175
But everyone should
just have fun.
229
00:08:26,226 --> 00:08:27,860
Then again, what's more fun
than winning?
230
00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:30,295
[Laughter]
231
00:08:30,313 --> 00:08:31,397
Pierce.
232
00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:33,132
I'm offended you would
single me out.
233
00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:34,633
Did you read up on
your country's info-packet?
234
00:08:34,668 --> 00:08:35,701
Yes.
235
00:08:35,735 --> 00:08:37,870
Somalia has 1,900 miles
of coastline,
236
00:08:37,904 --> 00:08:39,205
a government that
knows its place,
237
00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:41,440
and all the guns and wives
you can afford to buy.
238
00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,375
Why have I never heard
of this paradise before?
239
00:08:43,410 --> 00:08:44,643
I studied up on my country.
240
00:08:44,678 --> 00:08:47,213
Is it okay if
we do accents, sugar?
241
00:08:47,247 --> 00:08:49,715
Troy, Georgia the country,
not the state.
242
00:08:49,749 --> 00:08:51,650
That's right.
Capital city Tbilisi,
243
00:08:51,668 --> 00:08:53,319
and former member
of the Soviet Union.
244
00:08:53,353 --> 00:08:56,222
And we kindly request y'all
mind your Ps and Qs.
245
00:08:56,256 --> 00:08:58,307
Welcome to the world's
first ever model U.N.-off.
246
00:08:58,341 --> 00:08:59,592
[Applause]
247
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,827
You will each be scored
on your U.N.'s ability
248
00:09:01,862 --> 00:09:07,366
to pass resolutions, follow
procedure, and maintain order.
249
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,970
The end goal, of course,
total world peace.
250
00:09:11,004 --> 00:09:12,404
Any questions?
251
00:09:12,439 --> 00:09:14,173
Does two U.N.s mean
there are two earths?
252
00:09:14,207 --> 00:09:16,675
Uh, yeah.
Sure, two earths.
253
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:18,210
Parallel earths
in different galaxies
254
00:09:18,245 --> 00:09:19,912
or identical earths
in parallel dimensions?
255
00:09:19,946 --> 00:09:21,013
The latter one.
256
00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:22,197
Well, what does that say
about free will?
257
00:09:22,232 --> 00:09:23,215
Abed! Professor--
258
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,350
Right, yeah, let's begin.
259
00:09:24,384 --> 00:09:25,734
Ready, set,
260
00:09:25,785 --> 00:09:26,752
peace.
[Gunshot]
261
00:09:26,786 --> 00:09:28,120
[Bell rings] Crisis alert.
262
00:09:28,154 --> 00:09:30,856
A civil war has broken out
in Ethiopia.
263
00:09:30,891 --> 00:09:33,726
Rebel forces have seized
the grain supply,
264
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,461
creating
a humanitarian disaster.
265
00:09:35,495 --> 00:09:37,196
Okay, cool heads, everyone.
266
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:40,032
America proposes a U.N.
peacekeeping force of
267
00:09:40,066 --> 00:09:41,066
10,000 troops.
268
00:09:41,101 --> 00:09:42,067
Uruguay agrees.
269
00:09:42,102 --> 00:09:43,369
Ooh, uh, China, too.
270
00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:46,405
Georgia--the country--
is much obliged.
271
00:09:46,439 --> 00:09:48,374
There's gonna be refugees.
Who can take refugees?
272
00:09:48,408 --> 00:09:49,875
The great country of Somalia.
273
00:09:49,910 --> 00:09:51,977
This gem,
this Shangri-La
274
00:09:52,012 --> 00:09:54,413
graciously invites
the Ethiopian refugees
275
00:09:54,447 --> 00:09:57,816
to enjoy safe lodging
and cool ocean breezes
276
00:09:57,851 --> 00:09:59,251
on its sand-swept beaches.
277
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:00,436
Okay, we're rolling.
278
00:10:00,487 --> 00:10:01,437
Switzerland proposes
a peace summit.
279
00:10:01,488 --> 00:10:02,888
Good idea, Switzerland.
280
00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:04,389
And maybe at the peace summit
we can discuss the possibility
281
00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:05,724
of opening a portal
to Earth II.
282
00:10:05,742 --> 00:10:07,526
Can we put a pin
in that, Switzerland?
283
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,961
Earth II is out there,
can't ignore it forever.
284
00:10:08,995 --> 00:10:11,096
Well, China has money.
Does anybody want some?
285
00:10:11,131 --> 00:10:13,732
Yes! The United States
proposes using China's money
286
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:15,417
to fund agricultural programs
287
00:10:15,452 --> 00:10:18,604
to support Ethiopia's
sustainable farms.
288
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:20,839
Which should promote economic
development and security.
289
00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:22,408
All in favor?
290
00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:23,943
It's unanimous.
291
00:10:23,977 --> 00:10:25,177
Good resolving,
blue U.N.
292
00:10:25,211 --> 00:10:26,679
You really covered
all the bases.
293
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,681
We have a unanimous decision
as well.
294
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,816
Then after one round,
we are tied.
295
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:34,486
Looks like both U.N.s
are experts at fostering unity.
296
00:10:34,521 --> 00:10:35,821
- Crap.
- Damn it.
297
00:10:35,855 --> 00:10:37,022
[Bell rings]
Crisis alert. Russia...
298
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,791
This is what the United Nations
299
00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:40,109
is doing to your freedom.
300
00:10:40,143 --> 00:10:43,479
I'm your freedom!
And I'm in a cage.
301
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,364
With the world!
302
00:10:45,398 --> 00:10:46,865
Because of them!
303
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,300
I thought I'd find you here.
304
00:10:48,335 --> 00:10:50,769
What are you gonna do,
lock me up?
305
00:10:50,787 --> 00:10:51,837
Just give me a reason.
306
00:10:51,871 --> 00:10:54,490
I'll give you a reason!
307
00:10:54,541 --> 00:10:55,541
[Lionel Ritchie's Hello.]
308
00:10:55,575 --> 00:10:56,542
Whoa!
309
00:10:56,576 --> 00:10:58,661
[Yells]
310
00:10:58,712 --> 00:11:00,329
That's it,
you're coming with me.
311
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:02,948
♪ Hello ♪
312
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:06,885
♪ is it me you're looking for ♪
313
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,253
He's pulling my cage.
314
00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:10,305
I'm being pulled in my cage
for no reason!
315
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:11,557
Is anybody seeing this?
316
00:11:11,591 --> 00:11:14,059
Is the world seeing this?
Are we facebooking this?
317
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:16,895
Crisis alert!
A tsunami has hit Vietnam.
318
00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,998
Massive--crisis alert,
famine in Ghana--
319
00:11:19,032 --> 00:11:21,800
crisis alert--tuberculosis
outbreak--crisis alert!
320
00:11:21,851 --> 00:11:23,519
Humanitarian aid.
We further resolve--
321
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,037
- Disarmament treaty.
- Crisis alert!
322
00:11:25,071 --> 00:11:26,438
To help women and children
get through famines.
323
00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:27,472
Save the orphans.
324
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:28,490
Loose nukes--
325
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:29,808
sinkhole--
North Korea--
326
00:11:29,826 --> 00:11:31,527
the prime minister in exile!
Military coup!
327
00:11:31,578 --> 00:11:34,530
The tropical paradise
of Somalia graciously yields.
328
00:11:34,581 --> 00:11:35,864
- China will pay.
- Gooder than grits.
329
00:11:35,915 --> 00:11:37,249
Switzerland is very concerned
about Earth II.
330
00:11:37,283 --> 00:11:38,316
Uruguay agrees.
331
00:11:38,334 --> 00:11:39,451
Uruguay sounds
like "you're a gay."
332
00:11:39,485 --> 00:11:40,986
Backyard barbecue!
333
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,321
Uruguay kindly requests that
334
00:11:42,355 --> 00:11:44,673
Somalia stop pronouncing it
"you're a gay."
335
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:46,291
- Hereditary monarchy!
- Resolved.
336
00:11:46,325 --> 00:11:48,260
- Graft and corruption.
- Resolved.
337
00:11:48,294 --> 00:11:49,378
Crisis alert!
338
00:11:49,429 --> 00:11:50,379
All: Resolved.
339
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:51,864
Looking good, blue U.N.
340
00:11:51,898 --> 00:11:53,899
Getting very close
to world peace.
341
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:56,035
That's my girl.
You are kicking ass.
342
00:11:56,069 --> 00:11:57,352
All right, guys,
343
00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,772
this is the home stretch.
All we gotta do is focus.
344
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,523
Oh! Damn, Pierce.
345
00:12:01,558 --> 00:12:02,841
Ooh, that wasn't me.
346
00:12:02,876 --> 00:12:04,877
I don't smell anything--
whup, I just got it.
347
00:12:04,911 --> 00:12:06,278
Oh, it's in my mouth.
348
00:12:06,312 --> 00:12:07,563
Guys, come on, focus.
349
00:12:07,614 --> 00:12:09,048
Like adults.
350
00:12:09,082 --> 00:12:10,949
We're gonna lose a point
if we don't get through this.
351
00:12:10,984 --> 00:12:13,052
Get through it?
It's almost a solid.
352
00:12:13,086 --> 00:12:14,686
[Bell rings] Crisis alert.
353
00:12:14,721 --> 00:12:16,622
A genocidal dictator
in Laos--
354
00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:18,724
Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that.
355
00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:21,210
Okay, so, looking at Turkey,
what can you do?
356
00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:23,095
So let me get this straight.
357
00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,797
You're bringing her in here
358
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,299
for "making a mess."
359
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,634
I did more than make a mess.
360
00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:30,602
I turned your whole system
inside out.
361
00:12:30,637 --> 00:12:32,271
And I shut her down.
362
00:12:32,305 --> 00:12:33,639
Young lady, you spilled paint
on a globe.
363
00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:35,607
You're as much a criminal
as this idiot is a cop.
364
00:12:35,642 --> 00:12:36,975
None whatsoever.
365
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:40,412
Okay, but, um, she's going
to do something illegal.
366
00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:41,447
Aren't you?
367
00:12:41,481 --> 00:12:43,615
Is that true?
Do you, Britta Perry,
368
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:46,485
have any intentions
of breaking any laws ever?
369
00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:47,986
I-I-
370
00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:49,988
Oh, my God.
371
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:51,990
No, it's not that simple.
372
00:12:52,025 --> 00:12:54,126
I have a life now.
373
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,561
I have a major and--
374
00:12:55,595 --> 00:12:56,561
Get out please.
375
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:58,497
I have highlighters.
376
00:12:58,531 --> 00:13:02,901
Get out!
377
00:13:02,936 --> 00:13:05,771
Okay, I know you've got a lot
on your mind right now.
378
00:13:05,805 --> 00:13:08,373
But somebody broke that thing
379
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:09,975
that comes down
from the parking booth.
380
00:13:10,009 --> 00:13:12,411
You know the thing
that comes down,
381
00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:15,280
keeps the...cars
from coming in.
382
00:13:15,315 --> 00:13:17,783
The thing. It's like a gate,
but it's just a stick.
383
00:13:17,817 --> 00:13:20,085
Comes down, from a hinge.
384
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,720
Keeps the cars out.
385
00:13:21,754 --> 00:13:24,022
Goes up and down 90 degrees.
386
00:13:24,057 --> 00:13:25,657
The arm?
387
00:13:25,692 --> 00:13:26,959
[Clucks tongue]
388
00:13:26,993 --> 00:13:28,160
[Groaning]
389
00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:31,263
Ooh, point goes to red team.
390
00:13:31,297 --> 00:13:32,531
How is this still happening?
391
00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,933
I can't remember what
regular air smells like.
392
00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:37,369
Do something or
we're gonna lose.
393
00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:41,507
Guys, this is important
to Annie.
394
00:13:41,541 --> 00:13:43,675
So whoever actually died
a few months ago, 'fess up
395
00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:44,877
so we can put a stake
through your heart.
396
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,011
[Laughter]
397
00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:47,012
Jeff!
398
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:48,113
Annie, I think
the real lesson here is
399
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,648
that a model U.N.,
much like the real U.N.,
400
00:13:49,682 --> 00:13:51,633
quickly falls apart
when faced with actual--
401
00:13:51,668 --> 00:13:54,987
Noooooo!
402
00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:59,892
I think the lesson here
is that I need to win this!
403
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,177
I want to win!
404
00:14:02,228 --> 00:14:03,345
And you!
405
00:14:03,396 --> 00:14:07,816
You suck!
You're a stupid, ugly poopface!
406
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:10,335
I'm better than you!
407
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,803
Annie, stop.
408
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,305
You're acting
like a little schoolgirl
409
00:14:13,339 --> 00:14:14,573
and not in a hot way.
410
00:14:14,607 --> 00:14:16,608
[Gasps]
411
00:14:23,349 --> 00:14:25,367
Okay.
412
00:14:25,418 --> 00:14:27,419
Uh, that made me sound creepy.
413
00:14:27,453 --> 00:14:29,538
But--but here's the thing.
414
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,684
Don't look at me.
415
00:14:45,054 --> 00:14:48,218
If embarrassment were
bountiful zinc deposits,
416
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:49,469
I'd be Zambia.
417
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,356
There's nothing
to be Zambia about, Annie.
418
00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:55,241
This is all my fault.
419
00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:57,260
I pushed you into competing
with other Annie.
420
00:14:57,278 --> 00:14:58,461
Are you kidding me?
421
00:14:58,496 --> 00:15:00,930
I practically ran to you
with that flier.
422
00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:02,866
I wanted to destroy her.
423
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,334
All because I can't handle
the thought
424
00:15:04,368 --> 00:15:06,319
of anyone getting
more gold stars than me.
425
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,438
I'm such a child.
426
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,774
You're not.
427
00:15:10,808 --> 00:15:13,276
Listen, when you really
hate someone
428
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:15,211
the way you hate Annie Kim,
429
00:15:15,246 --> 00:15:18,882
or when you feel
the way I feel about you,
430
00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:23,169
the easy loophole through
the creepiness and danger
431
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:24,504
is to treat them like a child.
432
00:15:24,555 --> 00:15:26,673
"A chip off the old block,
you're the best, kiddo."
433
00:15:26,724 --> 00:15:28,091
It's a crutch.
434
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:31,678
It's a way for me to tell you
how important you are
435
00:15:31,729 --> 00:15:33,563
from a distance.
436
00:15:33,597 --> 00:15:36,366
But now you're becoming this...
437
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,868
mature, self-possessed,
intelligent young woman,
438
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,737
and I can't keep
patting you on the head
439
00:15:40,771 --> 00:15:41,804
or talking down to you.
440
00:15:41,822 --> 00:15:44,407
But I like how close we are.
441
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:47,010
I don't want to grow up if
it means losing what we have.
442
00:15:47,044 --> 00:15:48,445
Well, tough, Annie.
443
00:15:48,479 --> 00:15:51,414
You have to grow up because the
world needs more women like you.
444
00:15:51,449 --> 00:15:54,684
Can't keep doing
this forever, kiddo.
445
00:15:54,718 --> 00:15:57,854
Can't we?
446
00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:03,843
- Nope. I can't, no.
- Nope, that's gross.
447
00:16:03,878 --> 00:16:06,546
That feels gross.
448
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,932
Well, I better go
check on the group.
449
00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:10,183
If they haven't left already.
450
00:16:10,217 --> 00:16:11,234
I'll follow you.
451
00:16:11,268 --> 00:16:13,019
From a respectable distance.
452
00:16:17,274 --> 00:16:18,975
Guys?
453
00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:21,010
I'm sorry I put you
through that.
454
00:16:21,045 --> 00:16:22,579
And I know it doesn't make up
for what happened,
455
00:16:22,613 --> 00:16:25,782
but would it help if I said
456
00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:27,917
I farted?
457
00:16:27,952 --> 00:16:30,019
Annie, no.
458
00:16:30,054 --> 00:16:32,155
I can't let you fall
on that sword because...
459
00:16:32,189 --> 00:16:33,790
I farted.
460
00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,208
No, I farted.
461
00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:36,626
I farted.
462
00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,228
Guys, I wasn't doing
the Spartacus thing.
463
00:16:38,262 --> 00:16:39,229
I farted.
464
00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:40,230
No, seriously, I--
465
00:16:40,264 --> 00:16:41,264
We all farted.
466
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:44,434
Oh, you guys!
467
00:16:44,468 --> 00:16:45,969
- Annie...
- I'm farting now.
468
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,370
Wait, why are you still here?
469
00:16:47,388 --> 00:16:49,472
Abed may have figured out
a way we can still win.
470
00:16:49,507 --> 00:16:50,640
Really? How?
471
00:16:50,674 --> 00:16:52,058
It's simple, really.
First we...
472
00:16:52,092 --> 00:16:55,228
[Whispering]
473
00:16:55,262 --> 00:16:56,262
Abed, what did I tell you?
474
00:16:56,313 --> 00:16:57,280
You can't just mumble nonsense.
475
00:16:57,314 --> 00:16:58,448
No one's cutting away.
476
00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,717
Okay, fine,
here's my actual plan.
477
00:17:13,864 --> 00:17:18,835
[Shrieks]
478
00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:19,836
What is that?
479
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:21,204
It's from Britta.
480
00:17:21,238 --> 00:17:24,740
She's promising to disrupt
the model...U.N.
481
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:27,143
She says she's gonna cause
a disruption that,
482
00:17:27,177 --> 00:17:29,679
while not completely illegal,
should be a real concern
483
00:17:29,713 --> 00:17:32,282
to campus...Security!
484
00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:34,133
Oh, no.
485
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:37,287
Maybe we should call
the real cops.
486
00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:38,888
You know, back in the '80s,
487
00:17:38,923 --> 00:17:41,057
I had this real
piece of work protestor,
488
00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:42,659
used to always give me trouble.
489
00:17:42,693 --> 00:17:44,661
You know what happened to her?
490
00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:47,263
She incited a riot
at the W.T.O.
491
00:17:47,298 --> 00:17:50,533
Got choked
until she passed out.
492
00:17:50,568 --> 00:17:55,271
By some real cop
with a real billyclub.
493
00:17:57,908 --> 00:18:01,945
Sometimes I wonder, you know?
494
00:18:01,979 --> 00:18:04,113
Well, what are you waiting for?
495
00:18:04,148 --> 00:18:08,151
Go show that hippie
how the world really works.
496
00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:14,490
Aren't you
forgetting something?
497
00:18:14,525 --> 00:18:16,960
All in favor?
498
00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:18,194
Aye?
499
00:18:18,228 --> 00:18:20,680
Could you morons say aye
any slower? Come on.
500
00:18:20,731 --> 00:18:26,736
[Garbled alien noises]
501
00:18:31,025 --> 00:18:32,342
[Clicks tongue]
502
00:18:32,376 --> 00:18:35,144
- Greetings, people of Earth II.
- What is this?
503
00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,547
We represent
the United Nations from Earth I.
504
00:18:37,581 --> 00:18:40,483
Using our Switzerland's
hadron collider
505
00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:41,951
and resources from
every nation,
506
00:18:41,986 --> 00:18:43,786
the people of our planet
have constructed
507
00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:45,722
a trans-dimensional
gateway here.
508
00:18:45,756 --> 00:18:47,040
They can't do this.
509
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:48,891
The science works out.
510
00:18:48,926 --> 00:18:50,126
- Yes.
- [Gasps]
511
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,362
We come to you with an offer.
512
00:18:52,396 --> 00:18:54,364
We he achieved world peace,
tying our score with yours.
513
00:18:54,398 --> 00:18:56,165
But we are willing
to concede our victory
514
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,468
if you agree conceding yours,
515
00:18:58,502 --> 00:19:02,538
forming one gigantic
United United Nations.
516
00:19:02,573 --> 00:19:03,606
We did it.
517
00:19:03,641 --> 00:19:04,907
You're a fool.
518
00:19:04,942 --> 00:19:07,910
Your ultimatum is itself
a technical act of aggression.
519
00:19:07,945 --> 00:19:10,880
If we simply refuse
to recognize your authority,
520
00:19:10,914 --> 00:19:14,083
we still remain ahead
and you lose.
521
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,585
But you win a simple game.
522
00:19:15,619 --> 00:19:18,721
The larger symbolic victory
will be ours.
523
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:20,890
Oh la la.
524
00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:21,991
We refuse.
525
00:19:22,026 --> 00:19:23,793
I'll take the real victory.
526
00:19:23,827 --> 00:19:28,264
A logical, effective,
common sense move, Annie Kim.
527
00:19:28,298 --> 00:19:30,767
One which flies in the very face
of the United Nations itself,
528
00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:34,137
a fundamentally symbolic
organization
529
00:19:34,171 --> 00:19:36,606
founded on the principles
of high-minded rhetoric
530
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,607
and empty gestures.
531
00:19:37,641 --> 00:19:39,776
Blue U.N. wins.
532
00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:42,311
[Cheering]
533
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:47,350
[Gibberish chanting]
534
00:19:48,819 --> 00:19:49,819
What the hell are you doing?
535
00:19:49,853 --> 00:19:50,987
Nothing.
536
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:54,557
And you can't do anything
to stop me.
537
00:19:54,575 --> 00:19:57,610
Did someone say
"can't do anything"?
538
00:19:57,661 --> 00:20:02,298
[Lionel Ritchie's Hello.]
539
00:20:02,332 --> 00:20:06,002
♪ Hello ♪
540
00:20:06,036 --> 00:20:09,739
♪ is it me you're looking for ♪
541
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:13,910
♪ I can see it in your eyes ♪
542
00:20:13,944 --> 00:20:17,914
♪ I can see it in your smile ♪
543
00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:19,649
♪ you're all I've ever wanted ♪
544
00:20:19,683 --> 00:20:21,100
[Electricity crackles]
545
00:20:21,135 --> 00:20:25,938
♪ And my arms are open wide ♪
546
00:20:25,973 --> 00:20:29,258
♪ 'cause you know
just what to say ♪
547
00:20:29,293 --> 00:20:31,027
♪ and you know
just what to do ♪
548
00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:34,030
Oh, that's--
that's nice. No?
549
00:20:34,064 --> 00:20:35,765
♪ And I want to tell you
so much ♪
550
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,100
I knew you'd come.
551
00:20:38,118 --> 00:20:40,953
- You're so busted.
- [Spits]
552
00:20:40,988 --> 00:20:43,782
♪ I love you ♪
553
00:20:49,253 --> 00:20:51,254
[Mouthing] Yes.
554
00:20:58,730 --> 00:21:02,766
[Snores]
555
00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:06,218
I told you to stop playing
Operation on me!
556
00:21:06,338 --> 00:21:08,358
I'm not your damn board game!
557
00:21:10,141 --> 00:21:12,859
At least you didn't get
my spare ribs.
558
00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:22,524
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com