1 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:06,588 The entrance to the dungeon is a moss-covered door. 2 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:09,967 You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face... 3 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,762 ...with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. 4 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,681 What do you do? 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,308 I say, "Hey, Ma, what's for dinner?" 6 00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,313 Seventeen. 7 00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:26,775 The ogre is amused by your joke and allows you to pass. 8 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,612 By the by, I liked it too. 9 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,116 How go the wedding plans, Howard? 10 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:38,162 Great. Spent five hours last night at Macy's registering for gifts. 11 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:42,207 I'm finally gonna have that earthenware asparagus dish I've always wanted, heh. 12 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,503 See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9000 miles away. 13 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,048 I can spend my nights doing whatever I want. 14 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,924 Like playing nerd games with us... 15 00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:54,219 ...and then taking a suspiciously long shower? 16 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,515 Maybe. 17 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,561 We enter the dungeon. 18 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,730 You see a dragon. 19 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,524 Really? So we're playing Dungeons and Dragons. 20 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,818 And we walk into a dungeon and see a dragon? 21 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,324 - Isn't that a little on the nose? - When you play Chutes and Ladders... 22 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,160 ...do you complain about all the chutes and the ladders? 23 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,581 Are you gonna eat that whole pie? 24 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,167 Maybe. Why not? 25 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,753 Who do I have in my life to watch my figure for? 26 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,173 Oh, God, did you watch Bridget Jones again? 27 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,968 No, it's just that everybody's got someone. 28 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,471 Sheldon's with Amy, Howard's getting married... 29 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,307 - ...you're dating my sister. - Now that Howard's getting married... 30 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,268 ...maybe he'll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you, heh. 31 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,271 You know who I blame for my loneliness? 32 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:47,856 The United States of America. 33 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,817 Your movies and your TV shows... 34 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:54,071 ...promised streets paved with beautiful blonde women with big bazongas. 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,699 Eat another pie, you'll have your own bazongas. 36 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:01,537 That's cruel. You know it goes straight to my hips. 37 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:04,081 Gentlemen, please focus. 38 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:08,460 - You're facing a fire-breathing dragon. - Unh, I don't know if I wanna play anymore. 39 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,172 Because you don't have a girlfriend? If that becomes a reason... 40 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,717 ...not to play Dungeons and Dragons, this game's in serious trouble. 41 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:45,038 Now, I assume we use this same wax later on... 42 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,916 ...to neaten up each other's bikini regions. 43 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,044 Yeah, my bikini region is fine. 44 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,255 Who's shocked? I'm not. 45 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,760 So, Bernadette, how's the wedding planning going? 46 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,263 And I'm not asking as a prospective bridesmaid. 47 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,307 Pick me. Pick me. 48 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,978 We went cake tasting yesterday. 49 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,563 Raj came along. 50 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,900 He cried and ate half the samples. 51 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:16,945 Oh, poor guy. He's so lonely. We should set him up with someone. 52 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,199 You know, I met a really cute girl at work. 53 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,202 She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials. 54 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,497 Well, hello? She's married, heh. 55 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,793 Yeah, but her husband is in serious congestive heart failure... 56 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:36,298 ...and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group. 57 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:41,970 Okay, so future grief-stricken widow is the one to beat. 58 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,267 - You ready to order? - One moment. 59 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,186 I'm conducting an experiment. 60 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,981 With Dungeons and Dragons dice? 61 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,776 Yes. From here on in... 62 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,488 ...I've decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice. 63 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,032 Thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best... 64 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,576 ...enlighten and amaze. 65 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,082 Page 14, item seven. 66 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,167 So, what's for dinner? 67 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,878 A side of corn succotash. 68 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,298 Hmm, interesting. 69 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,509 Um, Howard, can I see you for a minute, please? 70 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:25,764 Ugh, I don't wanna show any more of your friends how I can fit in the booster seats. 71 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,017 Uh, no, that's not it. Just come with me, please? 72 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,815 Let's see what I'll be washing that succotash down with. 73 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,444 A pitcher of margaritas. 74 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,698 Do you really want that? 75 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,075 That's the great thing. It doesn't matter. 76 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:49,162 My mind is freed up to think about more important things. 77 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,956 What's it thinking about now? 78 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,250 Hamburgers and lemonade. 79 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:58,046 Um, Raj, there's someone I want you to meet. 80 00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,466 This is my friend, Emily. I know her from spin class. 81 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:06,305 No. Raj, relax. She can't hear you. She's deaf. 82 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:11,393 Emily, this is our friend Raj. 83 00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,854 - Heh. - Aw. 84 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,318 Look at you guys, just hitting it off. I am so good. 85 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,408 Hi. 86 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,370 She says, "it's nice to meet you." 87 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,874 Did she really mean that or was she signing it sarcastically? 88 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,003 Raj says, "It's nice to meet you too." Heh. 89 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,506 Uh, she says she has to go back to her family. 90 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,469 But Penny has her number if you wanna text her and get together. 91 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,804 Okay, I'm gonna play it cool. 92 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,433 Tell her, "Maybe. Whatever, babe." 93 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,521 He'll text you, heh. 94 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:01,360 Huh. Look at that. I have a date. 95 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,736 I love America again. 96 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,075 And now for dessert. 97 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,703 Come on, hot fudge sundae. Come on, hot fudge sundae. 98 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,414 Bam! That's what I'm talking about. 99 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,337 Okay. As soon as she gets here, so she knows I'm cool with it... 100 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,464 ...I'm going to make a joke about her being deaf. 101 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:29,054 I was thinking, "Hey, did you hear the one about...? 102 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,931 Oh, no, I bet you didn't." 103 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,354 Maybe we should revisit your lonely, fat guy plan, heh. 104 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,231 Oh, she's here. 105 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,235 No joke. 106 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,950 - She's sorry she's late. - Oh, tell her it doesn't matter. 107 00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,994 Tell her her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies... 108 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:57,040 ...in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens. 109 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,920 Really? That's the first thing you wanna say? 110 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,715 - I worked on it all night. Use it. - I don't know the sign for "opalescent." 111 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,218 - Then spell it. - I don't know how to spell it. 112 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,803 You're blowing this for me. 113 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,682 He likes your eyes, heh. 114 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,976 You're making me sound like a caveman. 115 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,438 "Thank you, you have nice eyes too." 116 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,232 Really? Ask her how many children she wants... 117 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,193 ...and whatever number she says, say, "Me too." 118 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,781 No. 119 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:34,703 Fine. Tell her I have a deep, sexy voice like James Earl Jones. 120 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:38,540 She doesn't know what James Earl Jones sounds like. 121 00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,626 Great. Then she won't know I'm lying. 122 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:48,675 Let's see, what else can I tell you about me that would make you like me? 123 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,302 Uh... 124 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,596 Oh, I love music. 125 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,724 Do you love music? 126 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,061 You really wanna ask her that? 127 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,647 Oh. You're right. Heh, everyone loves music. 128 00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,402 She says, "Do you play an instrument?" 129 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,113 No, but when I was 6 years old... 130 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:14,993 ...I tried to start a boy band called Frankie Goes to Bollywood. 131 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,540 But I couldn't get any other boys to join... 132 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,419 ...so my parents asked the servants to be my backup dancers. 133 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,589 Wait, when you sign servants, don't sign it like I'm bragging. 134 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,634 Sign it in a way that I sound humble, with just a hint of: 135 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:33,303 "That's right, I had servants." 136 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,225 - Do you hear yourself? - Yes, but she doesn't. 137 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,769 So get signing, hand monkey. 138 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:48,985 I think I wrote a letter to Santa Claus every day. 139 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,695 And then on Christmas morning... 140 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,616 ...under the tree is a little puppy with a red ribbon. 141 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,914 - What are you doing? - Texting Bernadette I'm gonna be late. 142 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,084 - Dude, what is she saying? - It's a funny story about a puppy. 143 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:05,585 Just smile and laugh. 144 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,257 - Quick, stop smiling. - What? Why? 145 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:13,843 The puppy died. It choked on a doll head. Sad face, sad face. 146 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,349 It's a little hard to see with the city lights... 147 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,561 ...but that W-shaped constellation is Cassiopeia. 148 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,939 And she was the mother of Andromeda, who's over there. 149 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,193 Look, pretty stars. 150 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,323 This is her car, heh. 151 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,034 She hopes she can see you again sometime. 152 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,744 Good, good. Uh... 153 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:44,207 Oh, boy, uh, help me out here. Does she want me to kiss her or not? 154 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,793 I speak sign language, I don't read minds. 155 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,338 - If you were me, would you kiss her? - Yeah, but I'm the make-out king. 156 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,059 I was so smooth on that date. 157 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,855 You? I made you smooth. You were an idiot. 158 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,481 Whatever, dude. She kissed me. 159 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,651 Yeah, well, it might have been on your lips but it was my kiss. 160 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,571 Fine. Let's agree she kissed both of us. 161 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,490 Okay. 162 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,413 Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon. 163 00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:29,169 Don't thank me. Thank the dice. 164 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,297 They told me what percentage of my face to shave. 165 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,299 Why are you still doing this? 166 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,634 Because it's working. 167 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,054 In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions... 168 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,515 ...I've co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals... 169 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,935 ...and I'm close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider... 170 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,647 ...has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle. 171 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:53,401 You left out, got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants. 172 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,282 The dice giveth and the dice taketh away. 173 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:05,080 - Is Raj out with Emily again? - Yeah. Every night for the last month. 174 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,998 Wow. I can't believe he has a girlfriend. 175 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,418 Me neither. 176 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:14,756 Here's some other fun news on the Raj-Emily front. 177 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,218 He gave her a pair of diamond earrings and leased her a car. 178 00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,844 You're kidding. 179 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,514 - Think she's taking advantage of him? - Oh, of course not. 180 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,101 She wouldn't do something like that. She's deaf. 181 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,231 Deaf women can't be gold diggers? 182 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,443 Handicapped people are nice, Leonard. Everyone knows that. 183 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:41,574 I actually have information about Raj that would be helpful with this discussion. 184 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,456 Could you tell us? 185 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,959 Let's see. 186 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,546 Snake eyes. Sorry, bud. 187 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,466 Wait. Hang on. Doubles. Roll again. 188 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,305 Okay, get this. 189 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,475 It doesn't matter if he's showering her with gifts... 190 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,520 ...because the Koothrappalis are vastly wealthy. 191 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:15,400 - What do you mean "vastly wealthy"? - Well, "wealthy" means a lot of money. 192 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,611 "Vastly" means even more. I'm not sure what's tripping you up. 193 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,948 I know they have money. I don't think it's that much. 194 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,826 No, you're wrong. As you know, a few years ago... 195 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,580 ...I achieved one of my lesser dreams and became a notary public. 196 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:33,460 Well, from time to time, I notarize banking documents for Raj. 197 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:38,047 The Koothrappalis aren't just rich, they're Richie Rich rich. 198 00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,384 Well, so how much is that? 199 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:45,013 About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck. 200 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,224 The last time we went to the zoo... 201 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,269 ...that son of a bitch made me buy him a churro. 202 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,482 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude but I need to go call Raj's sister... 203 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,650 ...who I love so much. 204 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,446 Ahem, so vastly much. 205 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,994 Okay, so he's got money, and it's a few gifts, and a car. 206 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,747 And she got him to pay off all her credit cards. 207 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,500 What? He paid off her credit cards? 208 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,377 Damn it, I could have dated Raj for a couple months. 209 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:22,258 But I wouldn't have because I'm not that kind of girl. We should really talk to Raj. 210 00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:25,053 He's not gonna listen, he's in love. 211 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,640 Can't figure out what to do? I remember those days. 212 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,268 Now if you'll excuse me, I have to... 213 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,979 ...stay right here. 214 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,401 - This is a bad idea. We should go. - No. 215 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,363 I'm the one that introduced him to her. I've gotta say something. 216 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,409 Wow. 217 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,997 - You're engaged to my friend. - Hey, Bernadette doesn't mind... 218 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:57,126 ...where I get my motor running, as long as I park in the right garage. 219 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,965 I can't believe you're engaged to my friend. 220 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,760 Oh, here she comes. 221 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:09,138 Smart. Whisper, so the deaf chick can't hear you. 222 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,437 - Hi. - Oh, hey. Hi. Nice to see you. 223 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:19,858 Um, can we talk to you about Raj? 224 00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,443 She says, "Sure, what about him?" 225 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,988 Okay. Um, gosh, how do I start? 226 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:29,033 Um, see, Raj is kind of naive. 227 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,160 He hasn't dated a whole lot of women. 228 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:34,581 And I'm concerned that, without meaning to... 229 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,875 ...you might be taking advantage of him. 230 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,502 By letting him buy you a bunch of expensive things. 231 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,797 I... Howard, focus. 232 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,757 - Tell her what I'm saying. - Right. 233 00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,384 Are you a gold digger or not? 234 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,390 Oh, something, something. Who the something do you think you are? 235 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,185 Mind your own something business and go something yourself. 236 00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,023 Oh, ha, ha, wait, I got this now. 237 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,528 - I'm so mad at you. - Okay, wait. 238 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,947 How dare you ambush my girlfriend at the gym? 239 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,908 We didn't mean for it to be an ambush. 240 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,453 It's kind of impossible not to sneak up on deaf people. 241 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,123 And, hey, since when are you so chatty? 242 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,834 - I'm hammered. - Raj, come here. 243 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,837 This girl is trouble. 244 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,966 What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex? 245 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,677 The best one I've ever had. 246 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,681 Okay, come on, you know you can do better. 247 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,059 Aha! 248 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,852 I see what's going on here. 249 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,980 You and I had our crazy night together. 250 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,691 And now you can't stand to see me with another woman. 251 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,068 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 252 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,111 It's okay, I can't get mad at your feelings. 253 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,446 I don't have feelings. 254 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,491 Yeah, that's good. Keep telling yourself that. 255 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,329 He is cuter now that I know he's rich. 256 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:03,211 I have a surprise for you. Cover your eyes. 257 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,633 Open them. 258 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,268 It's a real ruby. 259 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:25,984 It was a little expensive, but no one can put a price on love. 260 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,237 Although the people at Cartier took a pretty good shot at it. 261 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,705 Oh, Mummy, Daddy, what a nice surprise. 262 00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:42,166 No, it's not a nice surprise, it's a bad surprise. 263 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:44,836 - Penny called us. - Penny? 264 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,840 She told us you're spending all our money on your new girlfriend. 265 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,467 I just got her a couple of things. 266 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,927 She gives me things too. 267 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:57,390 Yeah, yeah. I'm a gynecologist. I know exactly what she gives you. 268 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,978 You need to find a nice Indian girl from a good family. 269 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,313 If you keep seeing this woman, you're cut off. 270 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,191 What? You're gonna make me choose between the woman I love... 271 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,070 ...and the money I have very strong feelings for? 272 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,156 It's up to you. 273 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,786 - Well, I choose love. - Heh, you're an idiot. 274 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,374 Love doesn't last. 275 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,008 Well, he's going to find out eventually. 276 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:34,302 Think about it. 277 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:43,394 My, uh, parents are making me choose between money and you. 278 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,564 I choose you. 279 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,819 No. I think we'll have to return the car. 280 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,448 And the necklace. Yeah, that too. 281 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:59,368 But none of those things matter because we have something better. 282 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,205 We have love. 283 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:15,426 - Oh, Penny, I hurt so bad. - Uh... 284 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,261 I know. I know. 285 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:22,100 Sometimes I put the TV on mute just to pretend she's still with me. 286 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:30,525 But I can't watch the closed-captioning without crying. 287 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,404 Oh, I'm so sorry. 288 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,740 I wish I can make you feel better. 289 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,367 Seriously? 290 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,619 I'm heartbroken and you're hitting on me? 291 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,371 What? No. 292 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:47,875 Look, Penny, you're great, but I had a long talk with my parents. 293 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:51,671 And they said if I date an Indian girl, I get a Maserati. 294 00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:00,138 Mm, oh, cheesecake, you're just as good as a woman... 295 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,890 ...even though I can't have sex with you. 296 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,145 Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds. 297 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,277 Should I use the restroom or wait until we get home? 298 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,280 Come on, Papa needs to void his bladder. 299 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:21,033 Oh, that's not what you wanna see after three buttermilks. 300 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,537 Here you go, boys. I'll pick it up when you're ready. 301 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,748 - Thanks for dinner, buddy. - Yeah, real big of you. 302 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,834 Hurry, hurry, hurry. 303 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,462 Oh, don't cheap out on the tip. We all know you're loaded now.