1 00:00:00,098 --> 00:00:01,271 Your one and only source 2 00:00:01,272 --> 00:00:03,914 Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite. 3 00:00:03,915 --> 00:00:04,832 My meeting was about 4 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,794 Transferring her back to her new york office, 5 00:00:06,795 --> 00:00:08,312 And I want you to come with me. 6 00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,860 You weren't even the last one to kiss her before louis. I was. 7 00:00:10,861 --> 00:00:13,058 The last person she was with before she left was me. 8 00:00:13,059 --> 00:00:15,407 There's not a woman in this room who didn't take some pleasure 9 00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:17,220 In your downfall, myself included. 10 00:00:17,221 --> 00:00:18,693 How about working for me instead? 11 00:00:18,694 --> 00:00:20,505 The newspaper's just the cornerstone 12 00:00:20,506 --> 00:00:22,592 Of what I hope is gonna be a new media empire. 13 00:00:22,593 --> 00:00:24,955 (dan) I wrote a novel. No one was supposed to see it, 14 00:00:24,956 --> 00:00:26,955 But then vanessa found it and sent it to a publisher, 15 00:00:26,956 --> 00:00:28,391 So I need to find out which one. 16 00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:30,991 But isn't being published a writer's goal? 17 00:00:30,992 --> 00:00:34,026 Not for this book. It's a-- it's a scathing social satire 18 00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:35,316 About everyone I know. 19 00:00:35,317 --> 00:00:37,492 (dan) have you not told louis because it might be chuck's? 20 00:00:37,493 --> 00:00:39,838 (blair) I can't be this close to having all my dreams come true 21 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,999 Only to have them yanked away. 22 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,304 Look, I know it's scary, 23 00:00:43,305 --> 00:00:45,199 But I think you should know who the father is. 24 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,028 And what if I lose everything? 25 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:51,808 And who am I? 26 00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:54,307 That's a secret I'll never tell. 27 00:00:54,308 --> 00:00:56,633 You know you love me. 28 00:00:56,634 --> 00:01:00,636 X.O.X.O., gossip girl. 29 00:01:04,196 --> 00:01:09,091 ♪ I could stick around and get along with you, hello ♪ 30 00:01:09,092 --> 00:01:10,914 (gossip girl) they say the only way 31 00:01:10,915 --> 00:01:14,010 To conquer your fear is to face what you fear the most. 32 00:01:14,011 --> 00:01:18,547 ♪ hello, oh, oh, oh ♪ 33 00:01:18,548 --> 00:01:20,626 ♪ you're all right, but I'm here, darling ♪ 34 00:01:20,627 --> 00:01:23,274 You must walk into the belly of the beast... 35 00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:25,855 ♪ don't get too excited 'cause that's all you'll get from me ♪ 36 00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:27,586 ♪ hey, yeah, I think you're cute ♪ 37 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,646 ♪ but really you should know ♪ 38 00:01:29,647 --> 00:01:31,782 And risk the possibility of failure. 39 00:01:31,783 --> 00:01:34,310 ♪ I just came to say hello ♪ 40 00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:37,933 ♪ hello ♪ 41 00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:41,898 But try to hide from the fear, 42 00:01:41,899 --> 00:01:44,543 And you risk it swallowing you whole. 43 00:01:44,544 --> 00:01:45,875 (knock on door) 44 00:01:45,876 --> 00:01:47,795 Go away. I'm preparing for my interview 45 00:01:47,796 --> 00:01:48,863 With "hello!" magazine. 46 00:01:48,864 --> 00:01:51,810 But doctor office call again. They have test results. 47 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:54,194 Hang up, or I'll tell the reporter 48 00:01:54,195 --> 00:01:55,671 You're undocumented. 49 00:01:55,672 --> 00:01:58,573 ♪ I'm-a let you try to convince me to hello ♪ 50 00:01:58,574 --> 00:01:59,511 (cell phone rings) 51 00:01:59,512 --> 00:02:00,295 Hey. 52 00:02:00,296 --> 00:02:01,318 We have problem. 53 00:02:01,319 --> 00:02:03,827 Doctor's office call four times to say paternity test 54 00:02:03,828 --> 00:02:04,847 Ready for pickup. 55 00:02:04,848 --> 00:02:06,275 Miss blair say she busy, 56 00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:08,796 But reading grace kelly biography all day 57 00:02:08,797 --> 00:02:10,966 Is not busy. Is denial. 58 00:02:10,967 --> 00:02:12,584 When does louis get back from his trip? 59 00:02:12,585 --> 00:02:13,652 Tonight. 60 00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:15,967 And miss blair had promised us that she find out 61 00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:17,938 Who baby daddy is before prince louis get home. 62 00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:19,643 All right, I have a couple things to do this morning, 63 00:02:19,644 --> 00:02:21,127 But when I'm done, I will March her 64 00:02:21,128 --> 00:02:23,003 To the doctor's office myself if I have to. 65 00:02:23,004 --> 00:02:25,674 ♪ but I'm here, darling, to enjoy the party, hey ♪ 66 00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:27,647 ♪ you're all right, but I'm here, darling ♪ 67 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,050 Miss serena, welcome home! 68 00:02:29,051 --> 00:02:31,019 Dorota, I'm so happy to see you. 69 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,025 (cell phone rings) 70 00:02:36,314 --> 00:02:37,791 We missed you so much. 71 00:02:37,792 --> 00:02:40,215 I go tell miss blair you are home. 72 00:02:40,216 --> 00:02:41,634 Okay. (giggles) 73 00:02:43,892 --> 00:02:46,043 Whoa. That is not the look 74 00:02:46,044 --> 00:02:48,399 Of a girl in an empire state of mind. 75 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,603 Last week at grandma's was great, 76 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:54,692 But I don't know. I think it was a mistake to come back. 77 00:02:54,693 --> 00:02:56,466 Stop worrying about your mom. 78 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,531 Cece won't tell a soul you're here, 79 00:02:58,532 --> 00:03:00,101 And she promised to call my mom 80 00:03:00,102 --> 00:03:01,736 To make sure she doesn't say anything either. 81 00:03:01,737 --> 00:03:02,885 But even if that's true, 82 00:03:02,886 --> 00:03:06,609 What about blair or dan or everyone else? 83 00:03:06,610 --> 00:03:08,521 I don't think they'll be thrilled to find out 84 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,967 The psychotic freak is back in town. 85 00:03:09,968 --> 00:03:13,336 Please, this place is a mecca for psychotic freaks. 86 00:03:13,337 --> 00:03:15,990 Everyone goes off the rails at some point around here. 87 00:03:15,991 --> 00:03:19,081 It's practically a rite of passage 88 00:03:19,082 --> 00:03:20,482 On the upper east side. 89 00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:22,210 It's our version of a bat mitzvah. 90 00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:25,958 Well, maybe for someone who's from here, but me... 91 00:03:25,959 --> 00:03:29,468 You a rhodes? You'll be fine. 92 00:03:29,469 --> 00:03:30,351 (sighs) 93 00:03:30,352 --> 00:03:31,990 Come on. 94 00:03:37,881 --> 00:03:40,897 I suffer through mediocre sex with an editor's assistant 95 00:03:40,898 --> 00:03:42,432 To find out who's publishing your book, 96 00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:43,871 And this is how you thank me? 97 00:03:43,872 --> 00:03:44,422 (whimpering) 98 00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:47,123 Chuck, you felt nothing after "field of dreams," 99 00:03:47,124 --> 00:03:49,782 If that movie can't make you feel, 100 00:03:49,783 --> 00:03:51,977 Then maybe this little guy can. 101 00:03:51,978 --> 00:03:56,034 The only thing this mongrel makes me feel is disgust. 102 00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,909 Take it back to the pound, or I will. 103 00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:58,834 Sorry. I have a meeting. 104 00:03:58,835 --> 00:04:00,059 I gotta kill this book once and for all. 105 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:02,487 I have to see my old mentor noah shapiro. 106 00:04:02,488 --> 00:04:04,149 It'll take some persuading, but I think it'll help. 107 00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:06,989 I have some knee pads in the bedroom if you need them. 108 00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:09,693 I think simple conversation will do the trick, but thank you. 109 00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:13,316 Whoa. Who's this little guy? 110 00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:15,269 He's chuck's new, uh-- 111 00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:17,971 Drunken mistake. Never sleep with a girl from p.E.T.A. 112 00:04:17,972 --> 00:04:20,029 What, did we have plans or something? 113 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:20,869 Is that why you're here? 114 00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:23,167 No, no, I'm just here to wish you good luck on your first day. 115 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:23,960 Good luck. 116 00:04:25,071 --> 00:04:26,270 Thank you. 117 00:04:26,271 --> 00:04:28,225 Remember to walk the dog. 118 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,082 What, are you gonna keep him? 119 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,051 Of course not. 120 00:04:37,052 --> 00:04:38,840 Well, you should. You might need a new buddy. 121 00:04:38,841 --> 00:04:40,819 I won't be around much between school 122 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:42,113 And my new job at "the spectator." 123 00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:43,718 You do know this is not the kind of job 124 00:04:43,719 --> 00:04:45,484 You should get from a chick at a hollywood party. 125 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,169 Diana's completely rebuilding the paper, 126 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,559 And even though I'm only an intern, 127 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,558 She says there's a lot of opportunity to move up. 128 00:04:50,559 --> 00:04:52,869 Nathaniel, you and I both know the only reason 129 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:55,738 This woman's hired you is so you can please her in the bedroom, 130 00:04:55,739 --> 00:04:57,134 Not the boardroom. 131 00:04:57,135 --> 00:04:59,778 Now... If you'll excuse me, 132 00:04:59,779 --> 00:05:04,373 I have to call victor, get this thing... Out of here. 133 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:16,352 You're back! 134 00:05:16,353 --> 00:05:17,842 Yeah! (laughs) 135 00:05:17,843 --> 00:05:20,908 Oh, I thought I'd lost you to the land of pole dancing classes 136 00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:22,228 And gluten-free foods. 137 00:05:22,229 --> 00:05:24,578 I am back, and look who I brought with me. 138 00:05:24,579 --> 00:05:26,559 Okay. And why? 139 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,194 She's hit a rough patch with her mother. 140 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,377 You know how that is. 141 00:05:30,378 --> 00:05:32,106 I thought maybe she could stay in the guest room 142 00:05:32,107 --> 00:05:33,434 Until we figure things out. 143 00:05:36,072 --> 00:05:38,441 I'll allow it. Welcome back. 144 00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:40,075 (sighs) 145 00:05:41,323 --> 00:05:44,079 Well, thank you for letting me stay at your place. 146 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,110 I love your apartment. 147 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,630 Oh, you should have seen the place 148 00:05:46,631 --> 00:05:49,449 I found charlie living. "squalor" is too nice a word. 149 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,276 But now you have heated bathroom floors 150 00:05:52,277 --> 00:05:54,333 And the future princess of monaco 151 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,207 As your landlord. Speaking of which, 152 00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,374 B., where's your prince? 153 00:05:57,375 --> 00:06:00,881 Cologne for a charity event. He'll be back tonight. 154 00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,751 Which is why miss blair must be going. 155 00:06:02,752 --> 00:06:05,256 Many things to do before he returns. 156 00:06:05,257 --> 00:06:07,078 Like possibly find a new maid. 157 00:06:07,079 --> 00:06:08,863 An employee with one child is annoying. 158 00:06:08,864 --> 00:06:10,296 Two is grounds for termination. 159 00:06:10,297 --> 00:06:13,228 Oh, my gosh. Dorota, I forgot. Congratulations. 160 00:06:13,229 --> 00:06:15,331 Thank you. (chuckles) I must say, 161 00:06:15,332 --> 00:06:18,333 Best part of pregnancy is knowing who father is. 162 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,124 (inhales sharply) well... 163 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:24,426 Sorry to eclair and run, ladies, but I have an interview today, 164 00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:25,974 And I need to go over my talking points. 165 00:06:25,975 --> 00:06:27,376 Wait. No, no. Does this mean you're not going 166 00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:28,648 To the jenny packham show tonight? 167 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:31,671 We were finally invited to model together. 168 00:06:31,672 --> 00:06:33,097 Well, as much as it pains me, 169 00:06:33,098 --> 00:06:34,992 I guess you'll have to storm the catwalk without me. 170 00:06:34,993 --> 00:06:36,594 Bisous, mes cheres. 171 00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,656 (under breath) now time to do thing you swore 172 00:06:40,657 --> 00:06:42,961 To mr. Humphrey you do before prince home. 173 00:06:42,962 --> 00:06:45,111 If you mean shopping, absolutely. 174 00:06:46,164 --> 00:06:48,136 See? I told you. That went great. 175 00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:50,501 Now that you've survived blair, let's go talk to my mom. 176 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,740 I can go prime her first so it's not too big of a surprise. 177 00:06:54,741 --> 00:06:57,513 You can unpack and have the car bring you there after. 178 00:06:57,514 --> 00:07:00,326 She will welcome you with open arms. You'll see. 179 00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:10,891 So dan humphrey wrote an actual novel. 180 00:07:10,892 --> 00:07:11,426 Yeah. 181 00:07:11,427 --> 00:07:15,081 And I was confident you'd remain an epic disappointment. 182 00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:17,566 Well, I never intended to publish "inside." 183 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:18,528 Somehow it fell 184 00:07:18,529 --> 00:07:20,175 Into simon & schuster's laps anonymously, 185 00:07:20,176 --> 00:07:22,485 And since they're your publisher, 186 00:07:22,486 --> 00:07:24,358 I was hoping you could get the book killed. 187 00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,524 It's a satire of my entire life 188 00:07:26,525 --> 00:07:29,608 And everyone I know, and if it's released, 189 00:07:29,609 --> 00:07:31,117 I'll be a pariah. 190 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:35,095 My, you turned out to be an even bigger coward 191 00:07:35,096 --> 00:07:36,701 Than I thought. 192 00:07:36,702 --> 00:07:41,504 The best way to make sure your book fades into oblivion-- 193 00:07:41,505 --> 00:07:42,766 Leave it alone. 194 00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:43,718 What, let it come out? 195 00:07:43,719 --> 00:07:45,594 Have you seen what's on the best seller list? 196 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:48,540 Unless you're friends with rizzoli and isles 197 00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:50,466 Or related to a bounty hunter, 198 00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:53,122 No one will give a crap about your world. 199 00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:54,329 (cell phone alert chimes) you'll be lucky if your book 200 00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:56,560 Makes it into the remainder bin at strand. 201 00:07:56,561 --> 00:08:00,379 Trust me. Let it come out, and vanish. 202 00:08:02,994 --> 00:08:04,218 Ready to go? 203 00:08:04,219 --> 00:08:07,854 Dan humphrey, alessandra steele, my agent. 204 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:08,844 Nice to meet you. 205 00:08:08,845 --> 00:08:09,534 You, too. 206 00:08:09,535 --> 00:08:12,538 Um, well, if you really think it's best for me to do nothing, 207 00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:15,095 Then that's what I'll do. Thank you. 208 00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:16,677 And please don't tell anyone. 209 00:08:25,157 --> 00:08:26,395 Wait outside a second. 210 00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:29,547 I need to call my old friend jonathan karp. 211 00:08:33,248 --> 00:08:35,560 I should go. I'm gonna be late for my panic meeting. 212 00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:37,244 You okay? 213 00:08:37,245 --> 00:08:38,789 Yeah. 214 00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:42,862 With eric gone, it's pretty lonely. 215 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:55,286 (cell phone rings) 216 00:08:55,287 --> 00:08:58,027 Carol, I am so glad you called. 217 00:08:58,028 --> 00:08:59,498 I'm sorry I've been out of touch. 218 00:08:59,499 --> 00:09:02,186 Have you heard anything from charlie? 219 00:09:02,187 --> 00:09:04,039 No. Why? Is everything okay? 220 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,596 She's taken off, and I think she might be 221 00:09:06,597 --> 00:09:09,070 On the west coast, and mom's not returning my calls. 222 00:09:09,071 --> 00:09:10,387 Have you spoken to her? 223 00:09:10,388 --> 00:09:11,534 A few times, 224 00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:13,555 But serena's back from los angeles, 225 00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:15,223 So I'll see if she's heard from charlie. 226 00:09:15,224 --> 00:09:16,547 Serena was in l.A.? 227 00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,208 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 228 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:22,036 Listen... Why don't I fly up? 229 00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:24,658 It would be really good for me to be around 230 00:09:24,659 --> 00:09:26,041 Family right now anyway. 231 00:09:26,042 --> 00:09:29,196 Sure. Come. Um, I could definitely use the company. 232 00:09:29,197 --> 00:09:31,667 And in the meantime, I'll let you know if I hear anything. 233 00:09:31,668 --> 00:09:32,951 Okay. Bye-bye, sweetie. 234 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:45,814 Did you pick up the test results? 235 00:09:45,815 --> 00:09:49,131 I'm just opening the door to the doctor's office. 236 00:09:49,132 --> 00:09:50,613 I'd better hang up, though. 237 00:09:50,614 --> 00:09:52,847 It's so rude to talk on the phone... 238 00:10:00,589 --> 00:10:03,779 Turns out that the rumored u.E.S. Novel 239 00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:05,721 Is fact, not fiction, 240 00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:09,023 And I have the inside scoop on who the author is. 241 00:10:09,024 --> 00:10:12,289 Patience, pets. Your answer's coming. 242 00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:22,524 Right now the median age of this paper's readership 243 00:10:22,525 --> 00:10:25,792 Is over 50, and its online presence all but nonexistent. 244 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,138 They don't even have an app, for god's sake. 245 00:10:28,139 --> 00:10:31,148 So... First course of business is rebranding. 246 00:10:31,149 --> 00:10:32,826 That's why I'm having the paper 247 00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:34,799 Sponsor the jenny packham party tonight. 248 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,542 Show we're a little more glamorous now that I'm here. 249 00:10:37,543 --> 00:10:39,425 So where can I start? 250 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:46,268 (whispers) how about by making me scream? 251 00:10:46,269 --> 00:10:49,466 What? Right here with a full office? 252 00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,477 I mean, the staff might think you're playing favorites. 253 00:10:51,478 --> 00:10:53,982 Besides, I don't like an audience. 254 00:10:57,968 --> 00:10:59,918 Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention? 255 00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:02,694 You're all fired. 256 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:04,775 Don't bother cleaning out your desks. 257 00:11:04,776 --> 00:11:06,305 Good luck. 258 00:11:19,872 --> 00:11:22,602 All right. Come on. Hey, take a deep breath. 259 00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:24,522 Let's open that bad boy. 260 00:11:24,523 --> 00:11:26,045 What?! Here? 261 00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:29,233 The results of this test could alter the course of my life. 262 00:11:29,234 --> 00:11:30,031 You want me to face that 263 00:11:30,032 --> 00:11:31,722 In front of pigeons and--and street vendors? 264 00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:33,230 You said yourself that the odds are in louis' favor. 265 00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:34,923 And he will be an amazing father. 266 00:11:38,121 --> 00:11:40,429 But... What if it's chuck's? 267 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:41,986 I know. 268 00:11:41,987 --> 00:11:43,316 You're right. I'll open it, 269 00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:46,184 Immediately after my interview with "hello!" magazine. 270 00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:48,729 I can't face the press if I've just heard unsettling news. 271 00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:51,323 I need to look like grace kelly, not grace coddington. 272 00:11:51,324 --> 00:11:52,818 I have to manage some business of my own, 273 00:11:52,819 --> 00:11:54,587 But go do your interview. 274 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,027 I'll meet you back at your apartment, 275 00:11:56,028 --> 00:11:56,900 And we can open it then. 276 00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:58,207 That is much more civilized... 277 00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,024 Unlike your hair, humphrey. 278 00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:01,668 You look like a muppet. 279 00:12:03,795 --> 00:12:06,060 Oh, the whole summer was amazing, 280 00:12:06,061 --> 00:12:08,181 But getting the job with jane made it feel 281 00:12:08,182 --> 00:12:09,933 Like it all happened for a reason, you know? 282 00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:12,052 I start setting up her new york office tomorrow. 283 00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:13,926 Oh, that is so wonderful, sweetheart. 284 00:12:13,927 --> 00:12:15,216 I am so proud of you. 285 00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:16,093 (giggles) 286 00:12:16,094 --> 00:12:18,829 By the way, have you heard anything from your cousin? 287 00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:21,047 I got a call from carol this morning, very concerned. 288 00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,458 I guess charlie might have run away to los angeles. 289 00:12:23,459 --> 00:12:25,360 Grandma didn't call you? 290 00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:28,857 So that's what she was calling about. 291 00:12:28,858 --> 00:12:30,852 Look, carol was cutting her off, 292 00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,857 And by the way, charlie's 19. 293 00:12:32,858 --> 00:12:34,906 So it's not like she's running away. 294 00:12:34,907 --> 00:12:36,058 She's just leaving home. 295 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:38,479 I know, but your grandmother should not be lying to carol. 296 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,250 After all, charlie has had sade serious mental health issues. 297 00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:45,454 Mom, I saw her myself. She's fine, I promise. 298 00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:46,759 Well, that's not for you to decide. 299 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:47,887 Carol is her mother, 300 00:12:47,888 --> 00:12:49,876 And I'm not gonna participate in deceiving her. 301 00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:58,866 Sorry, charlie, but it looks like your upper east side dream 302 00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:01,400 Just turned into a nightmare. 303 00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:04,877 When I interviewed prince louis for this article, 304 00:13:04,878 --> 00:13:07,492 He said that family's very important to you. 305 00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:10,876 That's one of the many things he loves about you. 306 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,441 He said that? 307 00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:15,534 So... What about the two of you? 308 00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:17,916 When will you be starting a family? 309 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:21,129 Oh, well, that's a very personal question. 310 00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:22,357 We can skip it. 311 00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:25,695 Anyway, your fiance answered for you. 312 00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:27,215 According to him, 313 00:13:27,216 --> 00:13:28,965 It's a long way off. 314 00:13:28,966 --> 00:13:30,884 "blair hasn't expressed an interest 315 00:13:30,885 --> 00:13:31,924 "in being a mother yet, 316 00:13:31,925 --> 00:13:34,034 "and I'm nowhere near ready to be a father 317 00:13:34,035 --> 00:13:35,513 At this point in my life." 318 00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:40,410 Is it the translation? I'm quite sure it's accurate. 319 00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:41,859 No. I'm sure it is. 320 00:13:43,153 --> 00:13:44,500 You have your answer. 321 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,329 Well, thank you for your time. 322 00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:49,012 I'm sure the two of you will be very happy. 323 00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:03,683 Alessandra, hi. I'm, uh-- 324 00:14:03,684 --> 00:14:05,715 Dan humphrey. I'm good with names. 325 00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:08,464 If you're looking for noah, he's not here. 326 00:14:08,465 --> 00:14:10,622 I just came by to grab some of his things. 327 00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:11,617 Do you know when he'll be back? 328 00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,527 He won't. 329 00:14:12,528 --> 00:14:14,639 Well, I really need to talk to him. 330 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,377 I confided in him a personal matter, 331 00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,345 And he--he might have-- he might have said something 332 00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:19,386 He wasn't supposed to say. 333 00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:20,903 Yeah, I promise you, he doesn't have time 334 00:14:20,904 --> 00:14:21,913 For petty gossip right now. 335 00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:23,880 His hands are full with the release of his new book. 336 00:14:23,881 --> 00:14:26,544 Now if you don't mind, I have a lot to deal with. 337 00:14:26,545 --> 00:14:28,653 He didn't mention anything about a book 338 00:14:28,654 --> 00:14:29,876 This morning when I saw him. 339 00:14:29,877 --> 00:14:31,165 Nobody knew about it, not even me. 340 00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:32,798 Noah submitted it secretly 341 00:14:32,799 --> 00:14:35,217 Because he wanted his editor's honest reaction. 342 00:14:35,218 --> 00:14:37,695 I would kill him if the book wasn't so brilliant, 343 00:14:38,706 --> 00:14:40,338 And I'm only on page 60. 344 00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:43,552 It's called "inside." 345 00:14:44,195 --> 00:14:46,036 Oh, hold on a sec. 346 00:14:46,037 --> 00:14:48,546 Yeah. The reservation's for tonight. 347 00:14:48,547 --> 00:14:50,493 Club a steakhouse. 348 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,301 Ask noah if he wants anyone else there. 349 00:14:53,302 --> 00:14:56,196 Look, I will make sure that you get a signed copy 350 00:14:56,197 --> 00:14:57,558 When it's released. 351 00:14:58,547 --> 00:14:59,836 It's about people your age. 352 00:14:59,837 --> 00:15:01,248 You'll love it. 353 00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:03,723 Poor lonely boy. 354 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:06,034 You just learned the true meaning 355 00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,482 Of publish or perish. 356 00:15:10,292 --> 00:15:13,236 Hey, max, it's me, ivy. 357 00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:16,296 I think I made a big mistake. 358 00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:18,311 I should have come with you to portland. 359 00:15:18,312 --> 00:15:21,718 So I, uh, got a bus ticket, 360 00:15:21,719 --> 00:15:23,573 And I'll see you as soon as I can. 361 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,215 I hope you can forgive me. 362 00:15:25,832 --> 00:15:27,213 Hey. What are you doing? 363 00:15:27,214 --> 00:15:28,535 I'm leaving. 364 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,674 I heard what your mom said. 365 00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:35,265 Wait. So you showed up at her place after all? 366 00:15:36,215 --> 00:15:38,557 But, charlie, I can turn my mom around. 367 00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:40,000 I'll go back there right now. 368 00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:42,708 It's not your mom. It's mine. 369 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,467 She doesn't want me in new york. 370 00:15:45,468 --> 00:15:48,409 Being here is like a dream come true, 371 00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:52,633 But... Maybe she's right. I don't belong here. 372 00:15:52,634 --> 00:15:54,480 Just because you weren't born here 373 00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:55,914 Doesn't mean you don't belong here. 374 00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:57,584 I'm sorry, serena. 375 00:15:58,232 --> 00:16:00,882 Thanks again for everything. 376 00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:09,896 Hey, um, if you really are leaving, 377 00:16:09,897 --> 00:16:12,875 Could you do me a favor and, uh, return my tickets 378 00:16:12,876 --> 00:16:14,669 To the jenny packham show? It's... 379 00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:17,169 Already bad enough that I canceled being a model 380 00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:18,151 So last minute. 381 00:16:18,152 --> 00:16:19,885 I think that if I let my tickets go to waste, 382 00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:21,239 They'll never invite me back. 383 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,426 Of course. It's the least I can do. 384 00:16:23,427 --> 00:16:26,471 Thank you. Call me from l.A. 385 00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:42,415 Disaster averted. 386 00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:45,482 Andre leon talley got everyone in a panic 387 00:16:45,483 --> 00:16:47,447 About leaking images of jenny packham's show 388 00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:48,725 On his twitter tonight. 389 00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:50,013 They were gonna cancel the party. 390 00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:51,953 I suggested that no one be allowed 391 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:53,391 To bring their cameras into the party 392 00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:56,000 Or even their cell phones, and now the show's back on. 393 00:16:57,495 --> 00:16:59,220 Care to celebrate? 394 00:17:02,249 --> 00:17:03,751 I'd love to celebrate. 395 00:17:03,752 --> 00:17:05,992 In fact, I love celebrating with you 396 00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:07,826 As many times a day as possible. 397 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,455 But I'm just starting to wonder if that's all you hired me for. 398 00:17:10,456 --> 00:17:11,905 And you know what? 399 00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,827 I think my mom could still get me the job with the senator. 400 00:17:13,828 --> 00:17:15,460 Oh, you're not serious. 401 00:17:15,461 --> 00:17:16,731 And why wouldn't I be? 402 00:17:16,732 --> 00:17:19,051 I came to work for you so I could establish myself 403 00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:20,941 Outside of my family's influence. 404 00:17:20,942 --> 00:17:22,819 Now if this ju some big joke to you, 405 00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:24,273 I might as well take an internship 406 00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:25,613 That looks good on my resume. 407 00:17:25,614 --> 00:17:27,886 This is no joke, 408 00:17:27,887 --> 00:17:30,805 And I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. 409 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,618 Sit down. 410 00:17:39,252 --> 00:17:42,317 Do you know walter mccreedy and his wife nola? 411 00:17:42,318 --> 00:17:44,124 Congressman mccreedy? Of course. 412 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:45,731 I play squash with him at the club sometimes. 413 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,739 She's a famous socialite. He's a hot young congressman. 414 00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,108 They're gonna be at the show tonight. 415 00:17:50,109 --> 00:17:51,767 I want an interview with them. 416 00:17:51,768 --> 00:17:53,717 And since you fired all your actual reporters, 417 00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:56,391 You're willing to let me do this? 418 00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:58,309 This is how you learn. 419 00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:44,728 Dorota, pick up my dresses at the tailor. 420 00:18:44,729 --> 00:18:46,435 I'm going to the jenny packham party. 421 00:18:46,436 --> 00:18:48,327 But you have date with prince louis tonight. 422 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:52,205 And mr. Humphrey on his way over to help with letter opening. 423 00:18:52,206 --> 00:18:54,411 Mention that name again, and you'll be exiled 424 00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:55,733 To work the rest of your days 425 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,219 In someplace horrible, like the upper west side. 426 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,916 You know what happens to housekeepers there. 427 00:18:59,917 --> 00:19:01,330 The zabars zombies. 428 00:19:26,341 --> 00:19:28,266 Oh, excuse me. I'm here to return 429 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,715 Serena van der woodsen's tickets. 430 00:19:29,716 --> 00:19:31,436 Good. You're here. Come with me. 431 00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:34,616 Oh, wait. You don't understand. Let me explain. 432 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,785 So this is the dress that you'll be wearing tonight. 433 00:19:37,786 --> 00:19:39,674 We'll need to make some tiny adjustments, 434 00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:41,371 But that's what tape and pins are for, right? 435 00:19:41,372 --> 00:19:44,660 I'm sorry, but I think there's a misunderstanding. 436 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:48,083 I'm not serena. I'm just here to drop those off for her. 437 00:19:48,084 --> 00:19:49,765 Right. You're her cousin, charlie rhodes. 438 00:19:50,851 --> 00:19:53,350 Have some champagne while you wait. 439 00:20:15,401 --> 00:20:17,323 How about it, charlie? 440 00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:19,756 One last cinderella moment 441 00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:22,334 Before you turn back into a bumpkin. 442 00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:31,945 Hello, my love. 443 00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:34,689 Put that depressing russian literature down 444 00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:36,779 And get dressed. I'm taking you out. 445 00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:39,640 I wish. I would do anything to go to a party right now, 446 00:20:39,641 --> 00:20:41,962 But don't let me stop you. If you wanna go out, go out. 447 00:20:41,963 --> 00:20:43,622 You're not the one under house arrest. 448 00:20:43,623 --> 00:20:46,557 Neither are you. You know all of those meetings I've been having 449 00:20:46,558 --> 00:20:47,984 With panic about the new album? 450 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,402 Well, half of them weren't with panic. 451 00:20:50,403 --> 00:20:51,597 They were with your lawyer. 452 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,748 I wanted to see if he could convince the judge 453 00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:55,244 To grant you an early release. 454 00:20:55,245 --> 00:20:56,814 I just got the call. 455 00:20:56,815 --> 00:20:59,234 You are officially a free woman. 456 00:20:59,235 --> 00:21:01,621 Oh, my god. Rufus, is this for real? 457 00:21:01,622 --> 00:21:04,932 100%. Your ankle monitor was deactivated an hour ago. 458 00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:08,221 So I thought we could go to that fashion show to celebrate. 459 00:21:08,222 --> 00:21:12,303 An actual event where I don't have to tend the bar myself, 460 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:14,012 With people I'm not related to, 461 00:21:14,013 --> 00:21:16,058 And--and clothes I didn't order online? 462 00:21:16,059 --> 00:21:17,459 Mm-hmm. 463 00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:19,675 Rufus, oh, you must really... 464 00:21:19,676 --> 00:21:21,165 (kisses) love me, don't you? 465 00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:23,583 Very much. Now hurry up and get changed. 466 00:21:23,584 --> 00:21:24,834 Mmm. 467 00:21:24,835 --> 00:21:26,728 An officer's gonna be here any minute to remove your monitor. 468 00:21:26,729 --> 00:21:27,607 Oh. 469 00:21:27,608 --> 00:21:28,372 Okay? 470 00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:29,980 Oh, my god. Oh, wait. Wait. 471 00:21:29,981 --> 00:21:31,971 What about carol? Her flight's gonna be here soon. 472 00:21:31,972 --> 00:21:33,759 Text her. Have her meet us at the party. 473 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,454 They say freedom comes at a price. 474 00:21:36,455 --> 00:21:38,089 Better watch out, charlie. 475 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:41,141 I think you're going to be the one footing this bill. 476 00:21:42,546 --> 00:21:44,499 Noah shapiro's trying to steal my book. 477 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,620 So he's doing you a favor. 478 00:21:46,621 --> 00:21:47,973 Now you have nothing to worry about. 479 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,306 It just seems wrong. 480 00:21:50,307 --> 00:21:52,891 There's nothing more boring than a sense of morality, humphrey. 481 00:21:52,892 --> 00:21:55,063 But since you seem to be so afflicted with it, 482 00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,581 You have two options. 483 00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:59,024 Either you go tell simon & schuster and the world 484 00:21:59,025 --> 00:22:01,750 That noah shapiro is a credit-stealing liar, 485 00:22:01,751 --> 00:22:05,630 Or you stay quiet forever and simply let it go. 486 00:22:05,631 --> 00:22:08,520 Whatever you decide, do it already. 487 00:22:08,521 --> 00:22:10,196 I might not be able to feel anything, 488 00:22:10,197 --> 00:22:11,945 But at least I'm not paralyzed. 489 00:22:20,361 --> 00:22:21,806 Careful, dan. 490 00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:25,393 He who runs from the fear falls into the pit. 491 00:22:25,394 --> 00:22:28,306 Looks like you're about to take a tumble. 492 00:22:46,428 --> 00:22:48,025 (cell phone alert chimes) your phone. 493 00:22:48,026 --> 00:22:50,526 Oh. And not soon enough. 494 00:22:50,527 --> 00:22:52,200 Blair waldorf. 495 00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:54,835 Uh, this belongs to one of the models. 496 00:22:54,836 --> 00:22:56,187 Check it under the name charlie rho-- 497 00:22:56,188 --> 00:22:58,120 Excuse me. I'm blair waldorf. 498 00:22:58,121 --> 00:22:59,805 Where should I report for hair and makeup? 499 00:22:59,806 --> 00:23:02,070 Oh. I was told you weren't participating. 500 00:23:02,071 --> 00:23:03,933 Mm, now you're being told differently. Keep up. 501 00:23:03,934 --> 00:23:05,657 Right this way. 502 00:23:16,433 --> 00:23:18,256 There's the congressman and his wife. 503 00:23:18,257 --> 00:23:20,580 Just remember this is a lifestyle piece, 504 00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:23,017 So find out what restaurants they've been going to lately, 505 00:23:23,018 --> 00:23:25,402 You know, where they summered, that sort of thing. 506 00:23:25,403 --> 00:23:28,184 Oh, and I heard that they just came back from mykonos. 507 00:23:28,185 --> 00:23:29,469 I'd love to hear more about that. 508 00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:32,159 All right, perfect. 509 00:23:46,109 --> 00:23:49,049 Jenny packham wanted this to be a deconstructed fashion show, 510 00:23:49,050 --> 00:23:50,364 So instead of a runway, 511 00:23:50,365 --> 00:23:52,522 You'll be walking through the party with escorts-- 512 00:23:52,523 --> 00:23:53,681 Either a professional model 513 00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:55,043 Or a special guest like yourself. 514 00:23:55,044 --> 00:23:56,871 Thank you, joanna. 515 00:23:56,872 --> 00:23:59,123 If you have any eligible rockefellers or whitneys, 516 00:23:59,124 --> 00:24:00,609 Charlie will take one of those. 517 00:24:00,610 --> 00:24:03,141 I myself am fine with a model or a witty gay. 518 00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:05,304 (joanna) all right. I'll see what I can do. 519 00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:08,702 What are you even doing here, by the way? 520 00:24:09,735 --> 00:24:11,993 (sighs) I'm not so sure myself. 521 00:24:12,717 --> 00:24:15,252 I feel a little like alice in wonderland. 522 00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:17,317 Well, manhattan will do that to a girl. 523 00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:20,809 You'll be happy to know it never wears off. 524 00:24:21,348 --> 00:24:22,534 Well, it doesn't matter. 525 00:24:23,049 --> 00:24:25,130 I'm leaving right after the fashion show, 526 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,386 Heading back to l.A. 527 00:24:27,004 --> 00:24:30,732 My mom doesn't want me to live in new york. 528 00:24:30,733 --> 00:24:33,806 It's not worth fighting her about. 529 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,304 And how old are you again? 530 00:24:35,305 --> 00:24:39,198 It's just she has a few things she can hold over my head. 531 00:24:39,199 --> 00:24:42,172 Don't you have a few things you can hold over hers? 532 00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:47,241 Yeah. Actually, I do. 533 00:24:47,242 --> 00:24:49,497 I'll bet. She is a rhodes, isn't she? 534 00:24:49,498 --> 00:24:51,384 I'm starting to realize 535 00:24:51,385 --> 00:24:53,510 That mothers have some of the darkest secrets of all. 536 00:24:53,511 --> 00:24:55,883 Blair, you'll be escorted by simon doonan. 537 00:24:55,884 --> 00:24:57,484 Why don't you come with me to meet him? 538 00:24:57,485 --> 00:24:59,680 And chris benz will be here any minute to escort you. 539 00:25:06,428 --> 00:25:08,332 Forget what your mother wants, charlie. 540 00:25:08,912 --> 00:25:10,656 It's your life. 541 00:25:10,657 --> 00:25:12,153 What do you want? 542 00:25:19,336 --> 00:25:23,216 Ah, restaurants. Boulud sud. Walter loves brushstroke. 543 00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:24,576 Yes, nice. 544 00:25:24,577 --> 00:25:25,903 I never realized you were a journalist, nate. 545 00:25:25,904 --> 00:25:26,806 Well, neither did I 546 00:25:26,807 --> 00:25:28,402 Until the opportunity presented itself, 547 00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:29,687 And I went for it. 548 00:25:29,688 --> 00:25:30,675 Good for you. 549 00:25:30,676 --> 00:25:32,011 Thank you. 550 00:25:32,012 --> 00:25:34,802 So I heard you two just got back from mykonos. 551 00:25:34,803 --> 00:25:36,281 You wanna tell me about that? 552 00:25:36,282 --> 00:25:38,189 Um, you're mistaken. I had to go to athens 553 00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:39,209 On a congressional trip. 554 00:25:39,210 --> 00:25:40,150 You bastard. 555 00:25:40,151 --> 00:25:42,201 I knew it. Were you with her? 556 00:25:42,202 --> 00:25:44,140 We're at a party, nola. Calm down. 557 00:25:44,141 --> 00:25:45,707 (clenches teeth) I don't care where we are. 558 00:25:45,708 --> 00:25:48,624 That's it. I'm done. My lawyer will call you tomorrow, 559 00:25:48,625 --> 00:25:50,094 And you'd better not put up a fight, 560 00:25:50,095 --> 00:25:52,858 Or I will release those photos to everyone in your district. 561 00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:55,457 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything personal. 562 00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:56,867 I had no idea what was going on. 563 00:25:56,868 --> 00:25:59,184 And here I thought you were the nice one in your family. 564 00:25:59,185 --> 00:26:00,742 Congressman. 565 00:26:17,792 --> 00:26:19,479 Rufus and lily humphrey. 566 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,650 No phones? I like this party already. 567 00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:35,109 Come on. Let's take a lap, see who's here. 568 00:26:38,176 --> 00:26:40,993 What happened? What's she doing here? 569 00:26:43,658 --> 00:26:45,174 What's wrong? 570 00:26:45,175 --> 00:26:47,674 I was so excited to have my freedom back, 571 00:26:47,675 --> 00:26:49,660 I didn't think about what it would actually be like 572 00:26:49,661 --> 00:26:50,789 When it happened. 573 00:26:50,790 --> 00:26:51,793 It's gonna be great. 574 00:26:51,794 --> 00:26:55,507 The last time I was at a party like this, I was co-hosting it. 575 00:26:55,508 --> 00:26:57,118 Now I'm here as a former convict. 576 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:58,872 You remember what happened at the pink party. 577 00:26:58,873 --> 00:27:00,893 I mean, I'm sure that the judge was more forgiving 578 00:27:00,894 --> 00:27:02,035 Than these people will be. 579 00:27:02,036 --> 00:27:05,605 Maybe. Lily, you have served your time 580 00:27:05,606 --> 00:27:07,122 With dignity and grace. 581 00:27:07,123 --> 00:27:08,618 You've earned the right to move on 582 00:27:08,619 --> 00:27:09,833 To the next chapter of your life. 583 00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:11,250 So if anybody here has a problem with that, 584 00:27:11,251 --> 00:27:13,232 They don't get to be a part of the adventure, okay? 585 00:27:15,944 --> 00:27:17,606 Ready? 586 00:27:18,702 --> 00:27:20,249 Okay. 587 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:24,490 Lily, so good to see you. 588 00:27:24,491 --> 00:27:26,168 Jamie, wow. How are you? 589 00:27:26,868 --> 00:27:28,177 You look so good. 590 00:27:28,178 --> 00:27:29,207 Thanks. 591 00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:30,354 I'm gonna get a drink. Okay. 592 00:27:30,355 --> 00:27:31,610 I'll catch up with you guys after the show. 593 00:27:31,611 --> 00:27:32,768 See? 594 00:27:58,650 --> 00:28:00,857 Charlie! What are you doing here? 595 00:28:01,540 --> 00:28:04,029 Please don't tell my mom that I'm here. 596 00:28:05,062 --> 00:28:06,969 You can tell her yourself. 597 00:28:26,888 --> 00:28:28,231 Blair, we need to talk. 598 00:28:28,232 --> 00:28:29,468 Do you mind if I take over from here? 599 00:28:29,469 --> 00:28:30,558 Not at all. 600 00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:33,176 (scoffs) well, I mind. Humphreys are not escort material. 601 00:28:33,177 --> 00:28:35,251 Let's see if we can change that stereotype. 602 00:28:35,252 --> 00:28:37,602 Dorota pieced this together. 603 00:28:37,603 --> 00:28:40,393 Apparently, she's broken quite a few things in your home 604 00:28:40,394 --> 00:28:41,486 You don't know about. 605 00:28:41,487 --> 00:28:42,935 Don't worry. She swore she didn't read it. 606 00:28:42,936 --> 00:28:44,786 What are you doing? (chuckles nervously) 607 00:28:44,787 --> 00:28:46,721 Put that away. Don't you have your own life to ruin? 608 00:28:46,722 --> 00:28:48,701 Actually, uh, yeah. Yeah, I do, 609 00:28:48,702 --> 00:28:50,526 But for some reason, I'm here trying to help you. 610 00:28:50,527 --> 00:28:51,991 You can't hide from this forever. 611 00:28:51,992 --> 00:28:55,761 Why not? Apparently, fatherhood holds no appeal for louis, 612 00:28:55,762 --> 00:28:57,394 And chuck will always be chuck. 613 00:28:57,395 --> 00:29:00,042 If anything, I'm not hiding. I'm facing the truth. 614 00:29:00,043 --> 00:29:01,507 It doesn't matter what test results say. 615 00:29:01,508 --> 00:29:03,338 I'm in this completely alone. 616 00:29:03,339 --> 00:29:05,057 It doesn't matter about the implications 617 00:29:05,058 --> 00:29:06,575 For chuck or louis. 618 00:29:06,576 --> 00:29:08,611 Don't you wanna know who the father of your child is? 619 00:29:08,612 --> 00:29:10,868 The only thing I want is to finish this fashion show 620 00:29:10,869 --> 00:29:12,575 Sans outer borough escort. 621 00:29:12,576 --> 00:29:15,081 You're right. It's your problem, so why don't you take this? 622 00:29:15,082 --> 00:29:16,123 This is yours as well. 623 00:29:16,124 --> 00:29:18,047 Did you not hear me? I said I don't want it. 624 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,457 Well, it's not mine, so take it. 625 00:29:19,458 --> 00:29:20,554 No. 626 00:29:20,555 --> 00:29:21,504 You got it. 627 00:29:27,021 --> 00:29:28,636 Oh, b. 628 00:29:28,637 --> 00:29:31,526 Your refusal to find out who's the father 629 00:29:31,527 --> 00:29:34,588 Has made you cause one mother of a scene. 630 00:29:39,916 --> 00:29:42,222 You knew if I asked walter mccreedy about mykonos 631 00:29:42,223 --> 00:29:44,566 It would cause a scene, but I just destroyed a marriage. 632 00:29:44,567 --> 00:29:45,819 What's going on here? 633 00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:47,964 The truth is, I'm not interested 634 00:29:47,965 --> 00:29:49,382 In interviews with new york's elite. 635 00:29:49,383 --> 00:29:51,201 I want their secrets and scandals. 636 00:29:51,202 --> 00:29:52,489 Oh, aren't you a little late to that party? 637 00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:53,729 Gossip girl has that covered. 638 00:29:53,730 --> 00:29:54,843 For now. 639 00:29:54,844 --> 00:29:57,367 So you arranged to have everyone's phones checked 640 00:29:57,368 --> 00:29:59,157 To get at least one story that you didn't already have? 641 00:29:59,158 --> 00:30:01,892 It'll never work. When you try to use what you filmed, 642 00:30:01,893 --> 00:30:02,848 You'll be blacklisted. 643 00:30:02,849 --> 00:30:04,204 Gossip girl doesn't create scandal. 644 00:30:04,205 --> 00:30:06,067 She just whispers about what's already out there. 645 00:30:06,068 --> 00:30:07,836 And I would have told you that if you'd bothered to tell me 646 00:30:07,837 --> 00:30:09,453 What you were doing instead of using me. 647 00:30:09,454 --> 00:30:11,536 I mean, you had everyone's phones taken. 648 00:30:11,537 --> 00:30:13,470 Why didn't you just, you know, look at some of them? 649 00:30:16,705 --> 00:30:20,078 Nate, that's brilliant! And if we act fast, 650 00:30:20,079 --> 00:30:22,274 We can return them before anyone knows they're gone! 651 00:30:22,275 --> 00:30:23,257 Whoa, no. 652 00:30:23,258 --> 00:30:24,972 This is a one-stop shop of illicit e-mails, 653 00:30:24,973 --> 00:30:26,695 Incriminating photos, and sex. 654 00:30:26,696 --> 00:30:28,461 Are you sure you didn't work for news corp? 655 00:30:28,462 --> 00:30:29,777 Diana, just... 656 00:30:29,778 --> 00:30:31,685 This is your idea, and it's a good one. 657 00:30:31,686 --> 00:30:32,938 Don't doubt yourself. 658 00:30:32,939 --> 00:30:34,988 It's not--I just think that, you know, 659 00:30:34,989 --> 00:30:36,666 Maybe you should dip your toe into illegal activities 660 00:30:36,667 --> 00:30:38,875 Before you, you know, just dive right into it. 661 00:30:38,876 --> 00:30:40,819 If you want any real success, nate, 662 00:30:40,820 --> 00:30:43,296 You need to take a risk once in a while. 663 00:30:43,297 --> 00:30:45,828 You can stay and help me rebuild "the spectator," 664 00:30:45,829 --> 00:30:47,633 Or you can go home and call your mum. 665 00:30:50,037 --> 00:30:51,684 I'm sure there's still a position 666 00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:53,548 In a senator's office somewhere. 667 00:30:55,973 --> 00:30:58,585 All right, meet me back at the office in 20 minutes, 668 00:30:58,586 --> 00:30:59,992 Not a minute later. 669 00:31:24,312 --> 00:31:26,776 I can't believe you thought you would get away with this. 670 00:31:27,974 --> 00:31:29,527 You don't understand. 671 00:31:29,528 --> 00:31:31,900 Did you honestly think I wouldn't come looking for you 672 00:31:31,901 --> 00:31:33,359 When you wrote that check? 673 00:31:34,219 --> 00:31:36,245 Well, get changed. I'm gonna tell lily we're leaving. 674 00:31:36,246 --> 00:31:38,556 It's time for you to go back to your real life 675 00:31:38,557 --> 00:31:40,747 Like you should have months ago. 676 00:31:41,291 --> 00:31:42,517 Actually... 677 00:31:43,185 --> 00:31:45,007 I think I wanna stay. 678 00:31:45,008 --> 00:31:47,797 It's not up to you, ivy. 679 00:31:48,329 --> 00:31:51,122 Yeah, it kind of is. 680 00:31:52,024 --> 00:31:53,730 What are you gonna do about it? 681 00:31:53,731 --> 00:31:54,966 Call the police? 682 00:31:54,967 --> 00:31:57,091 I'd be happy to tell 'em the whole story 683 00:31:57,092 --> 00:32:00,800 About how you hired a struggling actress 684 00:32:00,801 --> 00:32:02,413 To pretend to be your daughter 685 00:32:02,414 --> 00:32:05,842 So that she could gain access to your real daughter's trust fund 686 00:32:05,843 --> 00:32:09,579 Just so su could take the money for yourself? 687 00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:14,325 I think the authorities would have a problem with that, 688 00:32:14,326 --> 00:32:16,892 And your family would, too. 689 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:17,990 You wouldn't. 690 00:32:17,991 --> 00:32:20,930 I came from nothing. 691 00:32:20,931 --> 00:32:22,243 (sighs) 692 00:32:22,244 --> 00:32:24,026 Everything here sparkles. 693 00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:28,017 And that family that you can't stand 694 00:32:28,018 --> 00:32:31,870 Has been kinder to me than my own family ever was. 695 00:32:32,529 --> 00:32:34,692 I'm not walking away from that. 696 00:32:34,693 --> 00:32:37,732 And if you try to take me down, carol, 697 00:32:37,733 --> 00:32:40,040 You're coming with me. 698 00:32:46,708 --> 00:32:48,041 Blair, I'm sorry. 699 00:32:49,046 --> 00:32:50,981 I was totally out of line. 700 00:32:50,982 --> 00:32:52,892 Truth is I think I've been using you to avoid 701 00:32:52,893 --> 00:32:54,378 Facing some problems of my own. 702 00:32:54,379 --> 00:32:56,965 I promised to hold your hand, but maybe I've been forcing it. 703 00:32:56,966 --> 00:32:59,694 No. I turned to you, dan, 704 00:32:59,695 --> 00:33:01,726 Because I knew you were the only one 705 00:33:01,727 --> 00:33:04,278 Who'd protect me from my own worst instincts. 706 00:33:04,279 --> 00:33:05,176 For what it's worth, 707 00:33:05,177 --> 00:33:06,801 When georgina showed up on my doorstep 708 00:33:06,802 --> 00:33:08,984 And told me she was pregnant, I mean, the last thing 709 00:33:08,985 --> 00:33:12,850 I wanted to be was a father, but then milo was born, 710 00:33:12,851 --> 00:33:15,430 And I fell in love with him. 711 00:33:17,452 --> 00:33:20,793 Chuck or louis--it'll be the same for either of them. 712 00:33:20,794 --> 00:33:23,398 And if I open that envelope... 713 00:33:24,504 --> 00:33:27,024 Will you be able to hide from your problems then? 714 00:33:28,034 --> 00:33:30,435 I think if you have the courage to face your future, 715 00:33:30,436 --> 00:33:32,593 Then I should have the courage to face mine. 716 00:33:41,833 --> 00:33:44,133 There once was a princess b., 717 00:33:44,134 --> 00:33:47,814 Undone by the question "who's the daddy?" 718 00:33:47,815 --> 00:33:49,458 But it's time to find out-- 719 00:33:49,459 --> 00:33:51,166 Will it be chuck, 720 00:33:51,167 --> 00:33:53,681 Or will it be louis? 721 00:34:10,904 --> 00:34:12,766 I need to talk to you. 722 00:34:12,767 --> 00:34:14,817 I thought we said everything we needed to say 723 00:34:14,818 --> 00:34:16,871 Last time we saw each other. 724 00:34:17,608 --> 00:34:18,994 Chuck... 725 00:34:20,109 --> 00:34:22,636 Is this another misguided attempt by dan 726 00:34:22,637 --> 00:34:24,843 To get me to feel something? 727 00:34:24,844 --> 00:34:26,674 I'm pregnant. 728 00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:32,796 It's louis'. 729 00:34:39,114 --> 00:34:42,071 I didn't want you to find out from someone else 730 00:34:42,072 --> 00:34:45,201 And wonder if the baby was yours. 731 00:34:45,202 --> 00:34:46,830 That's very considerate. 732 00:34:46,831 --> 00:34:48,948 Yes, well... 733 00:34:51,621 --> 00:34:53,664 If I know anything about chuck bass, 734 00:34:53,665 --> 00:34:56,028 It's that fatherhood isn't part of the lifestyle. 735 00:34:56,029 --> 00:34:57,358 You must have been very relieved 736 00:34:57,359 --> 00:34:59,861 When you realized you weren't carrying my offspring. 737 00:35:00,811 --> 00:35:03,753 That certainly would have derailed your fairy tale. 738 00:35:03,754 --> 00:35:06,906 This fairy tale is... Complicated. 739 00:35:13,634 --> 00:35:16,474 Blair, meet my dog, monkey. 740 00:35:18,127 --> 00:35:22,163 But... I saw "gossip girl." I thought you got rid of him. 741 00:35:22,164 --> 00:35:23,789 I just sent him to get fixed. 742 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:26,065 I thought it was the responsible thing to do. 743 00:35:29,234 --> 00:35:30,025 I should go. 744 00:35:30,026 --> 00:35:31,172 Yes. 745 00:35:31,173 --> 00:35:32,813 Louis is waiting for me. 746 00:35:32,814 --> 00:35:33,750 Of course. 747 00:35:35,603 --> 00:35:38,921 There is a part of me that really wanted it to be yours. 748 00:35:57,300 --> 00:35:59,706 It's impossible, you know. He's got to say to himself, 749 00:35:59,707 --> 00:36:01,995 "I'm a writer! I'm a writer!" 750 00:36:01,996 --> 00:36:04,127 He can hook up with a rookie. All those people 751 00:36:04,128 --> 00:36:06,845 Were just drinking themselves into the grave, you know? 752 00:36:06,846 --> 00:36:08,307 Noah. 753 00:36:09,555 --> 00:36:11,335 Hey, uh, I need to talk to you. 754 00:36:11,336 --> 00:36:14,033 Evyone, this is dan humphrey. 755 00:36:14,034 --> 00:36:16,381 He was my inspiration 756 00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,142 For the character of dylan hunter. 757 00:36:18,143 --> 00:36:19,992 Isn't that right, daniel? 758 00:36:21,964 --> 00:36:23,403 No. 759 00:36:25,938 --> 00:36:28,230 You didn't write this book. I did. 760 00:36:30,892 --> 00:36:32,918 Bravo! 761 00:36:32,919 --> 00:36:34,988 He did it! (laughs) 762 00:36:34,989 --> 00:36:37,289 I told you I'd get him to step forward. 763 00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:39,478 I'm sorry. Did you-- did you do this on purpose? 764 00:36:39,479 --> 00:36:41,956 Destiny is a scary thing to face. 765 00:36:41,957 --> 00:36:44,014 We all need a little push. 766 00:36:44,015 --> 00:36:46,561 You deserve to see what comes of it yourself, 767 00:36:46,562 --> 00:36:50,878 And you will. This is elise and mark from s&s. 768 00:36:50,879 --> 00:36:53,609 This is jonathan karp, your editor. 769 00:36:53,610 --> 00:36:56,151 You already know alessandra. Sit. Join us. 770 00:36:56,152 --> 00:36:58,139 We've got a lot to talk about. 771 00:37:08,942 --> 00:37:12,243 To my beautiful wife, her freedom, 772 00:37:12,244 --> 00:37:15,420 And the end of the ankle bracelet. 773 00:37:15,421 --> 00:37:18,182 Oh, and to the return of my alaia dresses. 774 00:37:18,183 --> 00:37:20,729 How about we toast to second chances, 775 00:37:20,730 --> 00:37:22,552 For lily and me? 776 00:37:22,553 --> 00:37:26,162 And, mom, thank you for understanding 777 00:37:26,163 --> 00:37:28,378 That this is where I'm meant to be. 778 00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:30,037 (lily and ivy) cheers. 779 00:37:34,214 --> 00:37:36,763 You know, charlie, serena's room is empty, 780 00:37:36,764 --> 00:37:39,166 And you are welcome to stay here. 781 00:37:39,167 --> 00:37:40,030 We'd love to have you. 782 00:37:40,031 --> 00:37:42,032 No, no, no. That-- that would be an imposition. 783 00:37:42,033 --> 00:37:45,068 No, really. Eric has only been gone a few days, 784 00:37:45,069 --> 00:37:46,335 And rufus and I are already 785 00:37:46,336 --> 00:37:47,698 Going through empty nest syndrome. 786 00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:49,690 Yeah, making breakfast for two feels so wrong. 787 00:37:51,625 --> 00:37:53,273 I would love to. 788 00:37:53,274 --> 00:37:55,796 Being around family would mean a lot to me. 789 00:37:55,797 --> 00:37:56,840 (lily) great. 790 00:37:58,554 --> 00:38:00,519 Okay, well, um... 791 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,030 I'm gonna go crash in the guest room. 792 00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:04,501 I have an early flight. 793 00:38:04,502 --> 00:38:07,350 What are you talking about? It's only 9:00. 794 00:38:07,351 --> 00:38:08,277 You should go out. 795 00:38:08,278 --> 00:38:09,754 We could all go out. 796 00:38:09,755 --> 00:38:11,429 Maybe--maybe another time. 797 00:38:11,430 --> 00:38:13,733 I'm sure I'll be back again soon anyway. 798 00:38:15,062 --> 00:38:16,406 So... 799 00:38:18,872 --> 00:38:20,322 (lowered voice) I'm gonna make sure that cece 800 00:38:20,323 --> 00:38:23,613 Reinstates your access to my trust. 801 00:38:23,614 --> 00:38:27,367 You are on your own now. Good luck. 802 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:44,155 ♪ movin' away ♪ 803 00:38:45,509 --> 00:38:50,282 ♪ crazy destiny ♪ 804 00:38:50,283 --> 00:38:52,385 The true author of a tell-all tome 805 00:38:52,386 --> 00:38:54,092 Has been revealed, 806 00:38:54,093 --> 00:38:57,409 And the author's name is one everyone will recognize, 807 00:38:57,410 --> 00:38:59,071 But the question is, 808 00:38:59,072 --> 00:39:00,970 Will anyone want to say it again 809 00:39:00,971 --> 00:39:02,631 Once the book is out? 810 00:39:08,488 --> 00:39:09,620 You're pregnant? 811 00:39:13,073 --> 00:39:14,555 (laughs) you're pregnant. 812 00:39:15,509 --> 00:39:17,288 Oh, you're happy. (sighs) 813 00:39:18,037 --> 00:39:21,466 But... Your "hello!"magazine interview-- 814 00:39:21,467 --> 00:39:22,667 I heard your answers. 815 00:39:22,668 --> 00:39:24,860 I-I just said those things to protect you. 816 00:39:24,861 --> 00:39:27,354 I knew if I even hinted at wanting children, 817 00:39:27,355 --> 00:39:29,855 You would be under constant baby watch. 818 00:39:29,856 --> 00:39:31,635 The press would never leave you alone. 819 00:39:32,112 --> 00:39:33,773 You did that for me? 820 00:39:35,314 --> 00:39:37,040 You really are a prince. 821 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:39,022 A very happy prince. 822 00:39:40,028 --> 00:39:41,976 The truth is, I can't wait to be a father. 823 00:39:41,977 --> 00:39:43,986 And now I'm going to be one. 824 00:39:43,987 --> 00:39:46,581 Let's go celebrate. Where would you like to go? 825 00:39:46,582 --> 00:39:50,489 Oh, someplace with souffles. My morning sickness is gone. 826 00:39:51,376 --> 00:39:52,620 I know a place. 827 00:39:54,399 --> 00:39:58,648 They closed an hour ago, but they'll reopen for us. 828 00:40:05,152 --> 00:40:06,248 Ready. 829 00:40:06,249 --> 00:40:08,523 Face your fears, and the rewards 830 00:40:08,524 --> 00:40:11,088 Can be profound. You could discover 831 00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:13,131 The true depth of a relationship. 832 00:40:19,205 --> 00:40:21,817 Or what you're capable of withstanding. 833 00:40:40,887 --> 00:40:42,236 I'm so happy you're here. 834 00:40:42,237 --> 00:40:44,159 You know, I don't think I realized 835 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,305 Until I saw you in l.A. How much I needed family around 836 00:40:47,306 --> 00:40:50,882 Or how much you needed me to help you shop. (chuckles) 837 00:40:52,221 --> 00:40:53,497 What are you looking for over there? 838 00:40:54,095 --> 00:40:55,524 My phone. 839 00:40:55,525 --> 00:40:57,813 I think I left it at the fashion show 840 00:40:57,814 --> 00:40:59,437 When the assistant checked it in. 841 00:40:59,438 --> 00:41:01,517 I totally forgot. 842 00:41:01,518 --> 00:41:02,988 Well, I'm sure they still have it. 843 00:41:02,989 --> 00:41:04,420 We'll call in the morning and find out. 844 00:41:06,894 --> 00:41:09,478 The problem is, the more you gain... 845 00:41:11,630 --> 00:41:14,036 People trust their phones way too much. 846 00:41:14,037 --> 00:41:16,199 The more you stand to lose. 847 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,530 There's just this, uh, one phone that didn't have a tag on it, 848 00:41:18,531 --> 00:41:19,714 So I didn't put it back. 849 00:41:19,715 --> 00:41:22,297 You know whose it is? Maybe someone at coat check? 850 00:41:25,402 --> 00:41:27,781 Do you know someone called ivy? 851 00:41:28,970 --> 00:41:31,275 Get ready to find out what you're made of, 852 00:41:31,276 --> 00:41:34,302 Because to survive on the upper east side, 853 00:41:34,303 --> 00:41:36,314 You better be fearless. 854 00:41:36,315 --> 00:41:39,288 X.O.X.O. Gossip girl.