1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,770 The one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 2 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:04,648 My meeting was about 3 00:00:04,649 --> 00:00:06,923 transferring her back to her New York office, 4 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,510 and I want you to come with me. 5 00:00:08,613 --> 00:00:10,747 You weren't even the last one to kiss her before Louis. I was. 6 00:00:10,748 --> 00:00:12,906 The last person she was with before she left was me. 7 00:00:12,907 --> 00:00:15,415 There's not a woman in this room who didn't take some pleasure 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:17,192 in your downfall, myself included. 9 00:00:17,193 --> 00:00:18,845 How about working for me instead? 10 00:00:18,846 --> 00:00:20,363 The newspaper's just the cornerstone 11 00:00:20,364 --> 00:00:22,481 of what I hope is gonna be a new media empire. 12 00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:24,792 I wrote a novel. No one was supposed to see it, 13 00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,904 but then Vanessa found it and sent it to a publisher, 14 00:00:26,905 --> 00:00:28,412 so I need to find out which one. 15 00:00:28,413 --> 00:00:31,016 But isn't being published a writer's goal? 16 00:00:31,017 --> 00:00:34,064 Not for this book. It's a-- it's a scathing social satire 17 00:00:34,065 --> 00:00:35,048 about everyone I know. 18 00:00:35,049 --> 00:00:37,576 Have you not told Louis because it might be Chuck's? 19 00:00:37,577 --> 00:00:39,856 I can't be this close to having all my dreams come true 20 00:00:39,857 --> 00:00:41,932 only to have them yanked away. 21 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:42,754 Look, I know it's scary, 22 00:00:42,755 --> 00:00:45,359 but I think you should know who the father is. 23 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,104 And what if I lose everything? 24 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:06,843 Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 25 00:01:08,956 --> 00:01:10,419 They say the only way 26 00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:14,205 to conquer your fear is to face what you fear the most. 27 00:01:20,173 --> 00:01:23,581 You must walk into the belly of the beast... 28 00:01:28,536 --> 00:01:32,024 And risk the possibility of failure. 29 00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:42,029 But try to hide from the fear, 30 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,716 and you risk it swallowing you whole. 31 00:01:45,532 --> 00:01:47,551 Go away. I'm preparing for my interview 32 00:01:47,552 --> 00:01:48,561 with "Hello!" magazine. 33 00:01:48,562 --> 00:01:52,304 But doctor office call again. They have test results. 34 00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:53,963 Hang up, or I'll tell the reporter 35 00:01:53,964 --> 00:01:55,433 you're undocumented. 36 00:01:59,297 --> 00:01:59,876 Hey. 37 00:01:59,877 --> 00:02:01,220 We have problem. 38 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,647 Doctor's office call four times to say paternity test 39 00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:04,869 ready for pickup. 40 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:05,979 Miss Blair say she busy, 41 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:08,907 but reading Grace Kelly biography all day 44 00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:13,628 Tonight. 45 00:02:13,629 --> 00:02:15,691 And Miss Blair had promised us that she find out 46 00:02:15,692 --> 00:02:18,089 who baby daddy is before Prince Louis get home. 47 00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:19,412 All right, I have a couple things to do this morning, 48 00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:20,708 but when I'm done, I will march her 49 00:02:20,709 --> 00:02:22,885 to the doctor's office myself if I have to. 50 00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:29,308 Miss Serena, welcome home! 51 00:02:29,309 --> 00:02:31,592 Dorota, I'm so happy to see you. 52 00:02:36,338 --> 00:02:37,907 We missed you so much. 53 00:02:38,527 --> 00:02:40,000 I go tell Miss Blair you are home. 54 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:41,104 Okay. 55 00:02:44,018 --> 00:02:45,975 Whoa. That is not the look 56 00:02:45,976 --> 00:02:48,492 of a girl in an empire state of mind. 57 00:02:48,493 --> 00:02:51,711 Last week at grandma's was great, 58 00:02:51,712 --> 00:02:54,637 but I don't know. I think it was a mistake to come back. 59 00:02:54,638 --> 00:02:56,611 Stop worrying about your mom. 60 00:02:56,612 --> 00:02:58,296 Cece won't tell a soul you're here, 61 00:02:58,297 --> 00:02:59,678 and she promised to call my mom 62 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,418 to make sure she doesn't say anything either. 63 00:03:01,419 --> 00:03:03,066 But even if that's true, 64 00:03:03,737 --> 00:03:06,816 what about Blair or Dan or everyone else? 65 00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:08,337 I don't think they'll be thrilled to find out 66 00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:10,096 the psychotic freak is back in town. 67 00:03:10,305 --> 00:03:13,315 Please, this place is a mecca for psychotic freaks. 68 00:03:13,316 --> 00:03:16,296 Everyone goes off the rails at some point around here. 69 00:03:16,318 --> 00:03:19,003 It's practically a rite of passage 70 00:03:19,004 --> 00:03:20,004 on the Upper East Side. 71 00:03:20,005 --> 00:03:22,420 It's our version of a bar mitzvah. 72 00:03:22,472 --> 00:03:26,360 Well, maybe for someone who's from here, but me... 73 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,471 You a Rhodes? You'll be fine. 74 00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:31,670 Come on. 75 00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:40,660 I suffer through mediocre sex with an editor's assistant 76 00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:42,056 to find out who's publishing your book, 77 00:03:42,057 --> 00:03:44,133 and this is how you thank me? 78 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,975 Chuck, you felt nothing after "Field of Dreams," 79 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,388 so I'm taking it to the next level. 80 00:03:48,389 --> 00:03:49,876 If that movie can't make you feel, 81 00:03:49,877 --> 00:03:52,084 then maybe this little guy can. 82 00:03:53,437 --> 00:03:55,666 The only thing this mongrel makes me feel is disgust. 83 00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:57,584 Take it back to the pound, or I will. 84 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:58,451 Sorry. I have a meeting. 85 00:03:58,452 --> 00:03:59,972 I gotta kill this book once and for all. 86 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,259 I have to see my old mentor Noah shapiro. 87 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:04,241 It'll take some persuading, but I think it'll help. 88 00:04:04,242 --> 00:04:06,826 I have some knee pads in the bedroom if you need them. 89 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:09,916 I think simple conversation will do the trick, but thank you. 90 00:04:11,909 --> 00:04:13,572 Whoa. Who's this little guy? 91 00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:15,360 He's Chuck's new, uh-- 92 00:04:15,361 --> 00:04:18,105 drunken mistake. Never sleep with a girl from P.E.T.A. 93 00:04:18,502 --> 00:04:19,740 What, did we have plans or something? 94 00:04:19,741 --> 00:04:20,668 Is that why you're here? 95 00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:23,167 No, no, I'm just here to wish you good luck on your first day. 96 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:24,225 Good luck. 97 00:04:25,252 --> 00:04:26,292 Thank you. 98 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,224 Remember to walk the dog. 99 00:04:35,173 --> 00:04:36,268 What, are you gonna keep him? 100 00:04:36,269 --> 00:04:36,915 Of course not. 101 00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:39,056 Well, you should. You might need a new buddy. 102 00:04:39,057 --> 00:04:40,515 I won't be around much between school 103 00:04:40,516 --> 00:04:41,888 and my new job at "The Spectator." 104 00:04:41,889 --> 00:04:43,586 You do know this is not the kind of job 105 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,456 you should get from a chick at a Hollywood party. 106 00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:47,075 Diana's completely rebuilding the paper, 107 00:04:47,076 --> 00:04:48,240 and even though I'm only an intern, 108 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,252 she says there's a lot of opportunity to move up. 109 00:04:50,253 --> 00:04:52,878 Nathaniel, you and I both know the only reason 110 00:04:52,879 --> 00:04:56,020 this woman's hired you is so you can please her in the bedroom, 111 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:57,381 not the boardroom. 112 00:04:57,784 --> 00:04:59,897 Now... if you'll excuse me, 113 00:05:00,305 --> 00:05:04,268 I have to call Victor, get this thing... out of here. 114 00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:14,669 Mmm! Yum. 115 00:05:15,257 --> 00:05:16,377 You're back! 116 00:05:16,378 --> 00:05:17,463 Yeah! 117 00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:21,066 Oh, I thought I'd lost you to the land of pole dancing classes 118 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:21,944 and gluten-free foods. 119 00:05:21,945 --> 00:05:24,648 I am back, and look who I brought with me. 120 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,781 Okay. And why? 121 00:05:26,841 --> 00:05:28,980 She's hit a rough patch with her mother. 122 00:05:28,981 --> 00:05:29,956 You know how that is. 123 00:05:29,957 --> 00:05:31,979 I thought maybe she could stay in the guest room 124 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:33,741 until we figure things out. 125 00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,728 I'll allow it. Welcome back. 126 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,919 Well, thank you for letting me stay at your place. 127 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,091 I love your apartment. 128 00:05:45,092 --> 00:05:46,533 Oh, you should have seen the place 129 00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,803 I found Charlie living. "Squalor" is too nice a word. 130 00:05:49,804 --> 00:05:52,047 But now you have heated bathroom floors 131 00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,276 and the future Princess of Monaco 132 00:05:54,277 --> 00:05:56,155 as your landlord. Speaking of which, 133 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,529 B., where's your prince? 134 00:05:58,387 --> 00:06:00,844 Cologne for a charity event. He'll be back tonight. 135 00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:03,005 Which is why Miss Blair must be going. 136 00:06:03,314 --> 00:06:05,299 Many things to do before he returns. 137 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,157 Like possibly find a new maid. 138 00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,736 An employee with one child is annoying. 139 00:06:08,737 --> 00:06:10,319 Two is grounds for termination. 140 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,124 Oh, my gosh. Dorota, I forgot. Congratulations. 141 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:15,399 Thank you. I must say, 142 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,414 best part of pregnancy is knowing who father is. 143 00:06:19,351 --> 00:06:20,327 Well... 144 00:06:20,341 --> 00:06:22,635 Sorry to eclair and run, ladies, 145 00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:24,315 but I have an interview today, 146 00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:25,679 and I need to go over my talking points. 147 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,012 Wait. No, no. Does this mean you're not going 148 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,744 to the Jenny Packham show tonight? 149 00:06:28,745 --> 00:06:31,724 We were finally invited to model together. 150 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,951 Well, as much as it pains me, 151 00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:35,091 I guess you'll have to storm the catwalk without me. 152 00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:36,656 Bisous, mes cheres. 153 00:06:38,937 --> 00:06:40,499 Now time to do thing you swore 154 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,148 to Mr. Humphrey you do before prince home. 155 00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:45,145 If you mean shopping, absolutely. 156 00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:48,345 See? I told you. That went great. 157 00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:50,677 Now that you've survived Blair, let's go talk to my mom. 158 00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:55,124 I can go prime her first so it's not too big of a surprise. 159 00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:57,653 You can unpack and have the car bring you there after. 160 00:06:58,034 --> 00:07:00,533 She will welcome you with open arms. You'll see. 161 00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:10,821 So Dan Humphrey wrote an actual novel. 162 00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:11,196 Yeah. 163 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:15,127 And I was confident you'd remain an epic disappointment. 164 00:07:15,128 --> 00:07:17,426 Well, I never intended to publish "Inside." 165 00:07:17,427 --> 00:07:18,328 Somehow it fell 166 00:07:18,329 --> 00:07:20,405 into Simon & Schuster's laps anonymously, 167 00:07:21,018 --> 00:07:22,179 and since they're your publisher, 168 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,229 I was hoping you could get the book killed. 169 00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:26,583 It's a satire of my entire life 170 00:07:26,584 --> 00:07:29,742 and everyone I know, and if it's released, 171 00:07:29,743 --> 00:07:31,009 I'll be a pariah. 172 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,872 My, you turned out to be an even bigger coward 173 00:07:34,873 --> 00:07:36,552 than I thought. 174 00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:41,289 The best way to make sure your book fades into oblivion-- 175 00:07:41,290 --> 00:07:42,396 leave it alone. 176 00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:43,448 What, let it come out? 177 00:07:43,449 --> 00:07:45,680 Have you seen what's on the best seller list? 178 00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:48,517 Unless you're friends with Rizzoli and Isles 179 00:07:48,518 --> 00:07:50,315 or related to a bounty hunter, 180 00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:52,983 no one will give a crap about your world. 181 00:07:52,984 --> 00:07:54,203 You'll be lucky if your book 182 00:07:54,204 --> 00:07:56,612 makes it into the remainder bin at strand. 183 00:07:56,724 --> 00:08:00,884 Trust me. Let it come out, and vanish. 184 00:08:03,237 --> 00:08:04,292 Ready to go? 185 00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:07,735 Dan Humphrey, Alessandra Steele, my agent. 186 00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:08,592 Nice to meet you. 187 00:08:08,593 --> 00:08:09,645 You, too. 188 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:12,715 Um, well, if you really think it's best for me to do nothing, 189 00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:15,133 then that's what I'll do. Thank you. 190 00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:16,801 And please don't tell anyone. 191 00:08:25,081 --> 00:08:26,409 Wait outside a second. 192 00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:29,504 I need to call my old friend Jonathan Karp. 193 00:08:32,988 --> 00:08:35,560 I should go. I'm gonna be late for my panic meeting. 194 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:37,485 You okay? 195 00:08:37,939 --> 00:08:38,899 Yeah. 196 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,683 With Eric gone, it's pretty lonely. 197 00:08:42,684 --> 00:08:44,784 I feel like all I do is play "Angry Birds" 198 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,472 and grill Larissa for gossip. 199 00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:48,818 Well, there's only one more month, 200 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:49,816 and Serena's back today. 201 00:08:49,817 --> 00:08:52,376 Ohh. Mwah. True. It'll be so good to see her. 202 00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:57,740 Carol, I am so glad you called. 203 00:08:57,741 --> 00:09:00,124 I'm sorry I've been out of touch. 204 00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:02,239 Have you heard anything from Charlie? 205 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,963 No. Why? Is everything okay? 206 00:09:03,964 --> 00:09:06,604 She's taken off, and I think she might be 207 00:09:06,605 --> 00:09:08,975 on the west coast, and mom's not returning my calls. 208 00:09:08,976 --> 00:09:10,439 Have you spoken to her? 209 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,211 A few times, 210 00:09:11,212 --> 00:09:13,320 but Serena's back from Los Angeles, 211 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,179 so I'll see if she's heard from Charlie. 212 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,722 Serena was in L.A.? 213 00:09:16,867 --> 00:09:18,355 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 214 00:09:18,888 --> 00:09:22,067 Listen... why don't I fly up? 215 00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:24,436 It would be really good for me to be around 216 00:09:24,437 --> 00:09:25,964 family right now anyway. 217 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:29,240 Sure. Come. Um, I could definitely use the company. 218 00:09:29,241 --> 00:09:31,599 And in the meantime, I'll let you know if I hear anything. 219 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,124 Okay. Bye-bye, sweetie. 220 00:09:44,288 --> 00:09:45,966 Did you pick up the test results? 221 00:09:46,056 --> 00:09:49,160 I'm just opening the door to the doctor's office. 222 00:09:49,161 --> 00:09:50,633 I'd better hang up, though. 223 00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:53,465 It's so rude to talk on the phone... 224 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,501 Hi. 225 00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:57,946 Oh. 226 00:10:01,072 --> 00:10:03,735 Turns out that the rumored U.E.S. novel 227 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,833 is fact, not fiction, 228 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:09,169 and I have the inside scoop on who the author is. 229 00:10:09,186 --> 00:10:12,273 Patience, pets. Your answer's coming. 230 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,376 Right now the median age of this paper's readership 231 00:10:22,377 --> 00:10:26,057 is over 50, and its online presence all but nonexistent. 232 00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:28,312 They don't even have an app, for God's sake. 233 00:10:28,352 --> 00:10:31,329 So... first course of business is rebranding. 234 00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:32,476 That's why I'm having the paper 235 00:10:32,477 --> 00:10:34,880 sponsor the Jenny Packham party tonight. 236 00:10:34,893 --> 00:10:37,645 Show we're a little more glamorous now that I'm here. 237 00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,657 So where can I start? 238 00:10:43,432 --> 00:10:46,441 How about by making me scream? 239 00:10:47,183 --> 00:10:49,495 What? Right here with a full office? 240 00:10:49,496 --> 00:10:51,688 I mean, the staff might think you're playing favorites. 241 00:10:51,743 --> 00:10:54,113 Besides, I don't like an audience. 242 00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:59,921 Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention? 243 00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:02,700 You're all fired. 244 00:11:02,936 --> 00:11:04,584 Don't bother cleaning out your desks. 245 00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:05,817 Good luck. 246 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:22,753 All right. Come on. Hey, take a deep breath. 247 00:11:23,112 --> 00:11:24,504 Let's open that bad boy. 248 00:11:24,505 --> 00:11:26,232 What?! Here? 249 00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:29,059 The results of this test could alter the course of my life. 250 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:29,927 You want me to face that 251 00:11:29,928 --> 00:11:31,496 in front of pigeons and--and street vendors? 252 00:11:31,497 --> 00:11:33,206 You said yourself that the odds are in Louis' favor. 253 00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:35,225 And he will be an amazing father. 254 00:11:38,044 --> 00:11:40,492 But... what if it's Chuck's? 255 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,647 I know. 256 00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:43,127 You're right. I'll open it, 257 00:11:43,128 --> 00:11:46,419 immediately after my interview with "Hello!" magazine. 258 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:48,819 I can't face the press if I've just heard unsettling news. 259 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:51,193 I need to look like Grace Kelly, not Grace Coddington. 260 00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:52,718 I have to manage some business of my own, 261 00:11:52,719 --> 00:11:54,664 but go do your interview. 262 00:11:54,665 --> 00:11:55,560 I'll meet you back at your apartment, 263 00:11:55,561 --> 00:11:56,472 and we can open it then. 264 00:11:56,473 --> 00:11:58,393 That is much more civilized... 265 00:11:58,554 --> 00:12:00,200 Unlike your hair, Humphrey. 266 00:12:00,507 --> 00:12:02,214 You look like a muppet. 267 00:12:03,804 --> 00:12:06,110 Oh, the whole summer was amazing, 268 00:12:06,111 --> 00:12:07,967 but getting the job with Jane made it feel 269 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:09,740 like it all happened for a reason, you know? 270 00:12:09,741 --> 00:12:12,019 I start setting up her New York office tomorrow. 271 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,700 Oh, that is so wonderful, sweetheart. 272 00:12:13,701 --> 00:12:15,269 I am so proud of you. 273 00:12:15,876 --> 00:12:18,767 By the way, have you heard anything from your cousin? 274 00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:20,902 I got a call from Carol this morning, very concerned. 275 00:12:20,903 --> 00:12:23,941 I guess Charlie might have run away to Los Angeles. 276 00:12:23,999 --> 00:12:25,601 Grandma didn't call you? 277 00:12:27,159 --> 00:12:28,952 So that's what she was calling about. 278 00:12:28,953 --> 00:12:30,748 Look, Carol was cutting her off, 279 00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:32,820 and by the way, Charlie's 19. 280 00:12:32,821 --> 00:12:34,697 So it's not like she's running away. 281 00:12:34,698 --> 00:12:35,751 She's just leaving home. 282 00:12:35,752 --> 00:12:38,285 I know, but your grandmother should not be lying to Carol. 283 00:12:38,286 --> 00:12:41,769 After all, Charlie has had sade serious mental health issues. 284 00:12:41,964 --> 00:12:45,255 Mom, I saw her myself. She's fine, I promise. 285 00:12:45,256 --> 00:12:46,480 Well, that's not for you to decide. 286 00:12:46,481 --> 00:12:47,547 Carol is her mother, 287 00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:49,901 and I'm not gonna participate in deceiving her. 288 00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,823 Sorry, Charlie, but it looks like your Upper East Side dream 289 00:12:58,824 --> 00:13:01,245 just turned into a nightmare. 290 00:13:02,638 --> 00:13:05,120 When I interviewed Prince Louis for this article, 291 00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:07,729 he said that family's very important to you. 292 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:10,916 That's one of the many things he loves about you. 293 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,460 He said that? 294 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,617 So... what about the two of you? 295 00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:17,764 When will you be starting a family? 296 00:13:17,765 --> 00:13:21,195 Oh, well, that's a very personal question. 297 00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:22,668 We can skip it. 298 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,704 Anyway, your fiance answered for you. 299 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,305 According to him, 300 00:13:27,428 --> 00:13:28,796 it's a long way off. 301 00:13:28,797 --> 00:13:31,576 "Blair hasn't expressed an interest in being a mother yet, 302 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,750 "and I'm nowhere near ready to be a father 303 00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:35,320 at this point in my life." 304 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,265 Is it the translation? I'm quite sure it's accurate. 305 00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:41,849 No. I'm sure it is. 306 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,356 You have your answer. 307 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,324 Well, thank you for your time. 308 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,757 I'm sure the two of you will be very happy. 309 00:14:01,857 --> 00:14:03,331 Alessandra, hi. I'm, uh-- 310 00:14:03,332 --> 00:14:05,781 Dan Humphrey. I'm good with names. 311 00:14:06,289 --> 00:14:08,689 If you're looking for Noah, he's not here. 312 00:14:08,697 --> 00:14:10,633 I just came by to grab some of his things. 313 00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:11,752 Do you know when he'll be back? 314 00:14:11,753 --> 00:14:12,984 He won't. 315 00:14:13,209 --> 00:14:14,408 Well, I really need to talk to him. 316 00:14:14,409 --> 00:14:16,068 I confided in him a personal matter, 317 00:14:16,069 --> 00:14:18,108 and he--he might have-- he might have said something 318 00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:19,079 he wasn't supposed to say. 319 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,436 Yeah, I promise you, he doesn't have time 320 00:14:20,437 --> 00:14:21,982 for petty gossip right now. 321 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:24,208 His hands are full with the release of his new book. 322 00:14:24,209 --> 00:14:27,088 Now if you don't mind, I have a lot to deal with. 323 00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:28,656 He didn't mention anything about a book 324 00:14:28,657 --> 00:14:29,624 this morning when I saw him. 325 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,338 Nobody knew about it, not even me. 326 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,764 Noah submitted it secretly 327 00:14:32,765 --> 00:14:35,437 because he wanted his editor's honest reaction. 328 00:14:35,754 --> 00:14:38,245 I would kill him if the book wasn't so brilliant, 329 00:14:38,776 --> 00:14:40,477 and I'm only on page 60. 330 00:14:41,725 --> 00:14:43,024 It's called "Inside." 331 00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:45,729 Oh, hold on a sec. 332 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,665 Yeah. The reservation's for tonight. 333 00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:50,543 Club a steakhouse. 334 00:14:51,497 --> 00:14:53,288 Ask Noah if he wants anyone else there. 335 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:56,323 Look, I will make sure that you get a signed copy 336 00:14:56,324 --> 00:14:57,541 when it's released. 337 00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,704 It's about people your age. 338 00:15:00,045 --> 00:15:01,276 You'll love it. 339 00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:03,889 Poor Lonely Boy. 340 00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:05,876 You just learned the true meaning 341 00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:08,532 of publish or perish. 342 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:13,357 Hey, Max, it's me, Ivy. 343 00:15:13,857 --> 00:15:16,128 I think I made a big mistake. 344 00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:18,545 I should have come with you to Portland. 345 00:15:18,744 --> 00:15:21,595 So I, uh, got a bus ticket, 346 00:15:21,596 --> 00:15:23,747 and I'll see you as soon as I can. 347 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,220 I hope you can forgive me. 348 00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,268 Hey. What are you doing? 349 00:15:27,269 --> 00:15:28,381 I'm leaving. 350 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:30,769 I heard what your mom said. 351 00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:35,413 Wait. So you showed up at her place after all? 352 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,599 But, Charlie, I can turn my mom around. 353 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,093 I'll go back there right now. 354 00:15:40,094 --> 00:15:42,862 It's not your mom. It's mine. 355 00:15:43,216 --> 00:15:45,539 She doesn't want me in New York. 356 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:48,485 Being here is like a dream come true, 357 00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:52,908 but... maybe she's right. I don't belong here. 358 00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,260 Just because you weren't born here 359 00:15:54,261 --> 00:15:55,855 doesn't mean you don't belong here. 360 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:57,777 I'm sorry, Serena. 361 00:15:58,813 --> 00:16:00,701 Thanks again for everything. 362 00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:09,774 Hey, um, if you really are leaving, 363 00:16:09,775 --> 00:16:12,767 could you do me a favor and, uh, return my tickets 364 00:16:12,768 --> 00:16:14,864 to the Jenny Packham show? It's... 365 00:16:14,865 --> 00:16:17,012 Already bad enough that I canceled being a model 366 00:16:17,013 --> 00:16:17,855 so last minute. 367 00:16:17,856 --> 00:16:19,804 I think that if I let my tickets go to waste, 368 00:16:19,805 --> 00:16:20,886 they'll never invite me back. 369 00:16:20,887 --> 00:16:23,560 Of course. It's the least I can do. 370 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,253 Thank you. Call me from L.A. 371 00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:42,574 Disaster averted. 372 00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:45,190 Andre Leon talley got everyone in a panic 373 00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:47,300 about leaking images of Jenny Packham's show 374 00:16:47,301 --> 00:16:48,508 on his Twitter tonight. 375 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,189 They were gonna cancel the party. 376 00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:51,676 I suggested that no one be allowed 377 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,483 to bring their cameras into the party 378 00:16:53,484 --> 00:16:56,044 or even their cell phones, and now the show's back on. 379 00:16:57,937 --> 00:16:59,234 Care to celebrate? 380 00:17:02,428 --> 00:17:04,088 I'd love to celebrate. 381 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,903 In fact, I love celebrating with you 382 00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:07,782 as many times a day as possible. 383 00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:10,595 But I'm just starting to wonder if that's all you hired me for. 384 00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:11,582 And you know what? 385 00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:13,795 I think my mom could still get me the job with the senator. 386 00:17:13,796 --> 00:17:15,135 Oh, you're not serious. 387 00:17:15,136 --> 00:17:16,771 And why wouldn't I be? 388 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,104 I came to work for you so I could establish myself 389 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,084 outside of my family's influence. 390 00:17:21,085 --> 00:17:22,648 Now if this just some big joke to you, 391 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:23,828 I might as well take an internship 392 00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:25,368 that looks good on my resume. 393 00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:28,013 This is no joke, 394 00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:30,727 and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. 395 00:17:32,112 --> 00:17:33,328 Sit down. 396 00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:42,256 Do you know Walter McCreedy and his wife Nola? 397 00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:43,687 Congressman McCreedy? Of course. 398 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,784 I play squash with him at the club sometimes. 399 00:17:45,785 --> 00:17:48,672 She's a famous socialite. He's a hot young congressman. 400 00:17:48,673 --> 00:17:50,176 They're gonna be at the show tonight. 401 00:17:50,177 --> 00:17:51,648 I want an interview with them. 402 00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:54,097 And since you fired all your actual reporters, 403 00:17:54,929 --> 00:17:56,543 you're willing to let me do this? 404 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,083 This is how you learn. 405 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,776 Dorota, pick up my dresses at the tailor. 406 00:18:44,777 --> 00:18:46,332 I'm going to the Jenny Packham party. 407 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,709 But you have date with Prince Louis tonight. 408 00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:52,032 And Mr. Humphrey on his way over to help with letter opening. 409 00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:54,209 Mention that name again, and you'll be exiled 410 00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:55,628 to work the rest of your days 411 00:18:55,629 --> 00:18:58,164 in someplace horrible, like the Upper West Side. 412 00:18:58,165 --> 00:18:59,760 You know what happens to housekeepers there. 413 00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:01,408 The Zabars zombies. 414 00:19:26,049 --> 00:19:28,285 Oh, excuse me. I'm here to return 415 00:19:28,286 --> 00:19:29,780 Serena Van Der Woodsen's tickets. 416 00:19:29,781 --> 00:19:31,640 Good. You're here. Come with me. 417 00:19:31,644 --> 00:19:34,953 Oh, wait. You don't understand. Let me explain. 418 00:19:35,661 --> 00:19:37,757 So this is the dress that you'll be wearing tonight. 419 00:19:37,758 --> 00:19:39,372 We'll need to make some tiny adjustments, 420 00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:41,229 but that's what tape and pins are for, right? 421 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:44,619 I'm sorry, but I think there's a misunderstanding. 422 00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:47,934 I'm not Serena. I'm just here to drop those off for her. 423 00:19:47,935 --> 00:19:50,078 Right. You're her cousin, Charlie Rhodes. 424 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,219 Have some champagne while you wait. 425 00:20:15,678 --> 00:20:17,357 How about it, Charlie? 426 00:20:17,505 --> 00:20:19,427 One last Cinderella moment 427 00:20:19,428 --> 00:20:22,324 before you turn back into a bumpkin. 428 00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:32,001 Hello, my love. 429 00:20:32,249 --> 00:20:34,896 Put that depressing Russian literature down 430 00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:36,556 and get dressed. I'm taking you out. 431 00:20:36,557 --> 00:20:39,507 I wish. I would do anything to go to a party right now, 432 00:20:39,508 --> 00:20:41,862 but don't let me stop you. If you wanna go out, go out. 433 00:20:41,863 --> 00:20:43,679 You're not the one under house arrest. 434 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,340 Neither are you. You know all of those meetings I've been having 435 00:20:46,341 --> 00:20:48,125 with panic about the new album? 436 00:20:48,233 --> 00:20:50,295 Well, half of them weren't with panic. 437 00:20:50,296 --> 00:20:51,692 They were with your lawyer. 438 00:20:51,820 --> 00:20:53,652 I wanted to see if he could convince the judge 439 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,241 to grant you an early release. 440 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:56,599 I just got the call. 441 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,296 You are officially a free woman. 442 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,381 Oh, my God. Rufus, is this for real? 443 00:21:01,382 --> 00:21:05,019 100%. Your ankle monitor was deactivated an hour ago. 444 00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:08,587 So I thought we could go to that fashion show to celebrate. 445 00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:12,327 An actual event where I don't have to tend the bar myself, 446 00:21:12,328 --> 00:21:13,847 with people I'm not related to, 447 00:21:13,848 --> 00:21:16,121 and--and clothes I didn't order online? 448 00:21:16,216 --> 00:21:17,273 Mm-hmm. 449 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:19,835 Rufus, oh, you must really... 450 00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:20,782 Love me, don't you? 451 00:21:20,783 --> 00:21:23,576 Very much. Now hurry up and get changed. 452 00:21:23,577 --> 00:21:24,371 Mmm. 453 00:21:24,372 --> 00:21:26,439 An officer's gonna be here any minute to remove your monitor. 454 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,068 Oh. 455 00:21:27,069 --> 00:21:29,899 Okay? Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Wait. 456 00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,119 What about Carol? Her flight's gonna be here soon. 457 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,875 Text her. Have her meet us at the party. 458 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:36,523 They say freedom comes at a price. 459 00:21:36,524 --> 00:21:38,100 Better watch out, Charlie. 460 00:21:38,101 --> 00:21:41,301 I think you're going to be the one footing this bill. 461 00:21:42,949 --> 00:21:44,538 Noah Shapiro's trying to steal my book. 462 00:21:44,539 --> 00:21:46,447 So he's doing you a favor. 463 00:21:46,448 --> 00:21:48,241 Now you have nothing to worry about. 464 00:21:49,277 --> 00:21:50,220 It just seems wrong. 465 00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:53,108 There's nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey. 466 00:21:53,109 --> 00:21:55,350 But since you seem to be so afflicted with it, 467 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,707 you have two options. 468 00:21:56,708 --> 00:21:59,228 Either you go tell Simon & Schuster and the world 469 00:21:59,229 --> 00:22:02,141 that Noah Shapiro is a credit-stealing liar, 470 00:22:02,351 --> 00:22:05,826 or you stay quiet forever and simply let it go. 471 00:22:06,148 --> 00:22:08,480 Whatever you decide, do it already. 472 00:22:08,601 --> 00:22:10,108 I might not be able to feel anything, 473 00:22:10,109 --> 00:22:11,997 but at least I'm not paralyzed. 474 00:22:20,397 --> 00:22:21,936 Careful, Dan. 475 00:22:21,937 --> 00:22:25,441 He who runs from the fear falls into the pit. 476 00:22:25,465 --> 00:22:28,211 Looks like you're about to take a tumble. 477 00:22:47,237 --> 00:22:48,278 Your phone. 478 00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,773 Oh. And not soon enough. 479 00:22:50,823 --> 00:22:52,070 Blair Waldorf. 480 00:22:52,949 --> 00:22:54,511 Uh, this belongs to one of the models. 481 00:22:54,512 --> 00:22:55,492 Check it under the name Charlie Rho-- 482 00:22:55,493 --> 00:22:58,053 Excuse me. I'm Blair Waldorf. 483 00:22:58,054 --> 00:22:59,784 Where should I report for hair and makeup? 484 00:22:59,785 --> 00:23:01,822 Oh. I was told you weren't participating. 485 00:23:01,823 --> 00:23:04,177 Mm, now you're being told differently. Keep up. 486 00:23:04,199 --> 00:23:05,513 Right this way. 487 00:23:16,475 --> 00:23:18,284 There's the congressman and his wife. 488 00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:20,280 Just remember this is a lifestyle piece, 489 00:23:20,281 --> 00:23:23,336 so find out what restaurants they've been going to lately, 490 00:23:23,472 --> 00:23:25,473 you know, where they summered, that sort of thing. 491 00:23:25,677 --> 00:23:27,983 Oh, and I heard that they just came back from Mykonos. 492 00:23:27,984 --> 00:23:29,440 I'd love to hear more about that. 493 00:23:30,753 --> 00:23:31,937 All right, perfect. 494 00:23:46,285 --> 00:23:48,859 Jenny Packham wanted this to be a deconstructed fashion show, 495 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,088 so instead of a runway, 496 00:23:50,089 --> 00:23:52,296 you'll be walking through the party with escorts-- 497 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:53,321 either a professional model 498 00:23:53,322 --> 00:23:55,052 or a special guest like yourself. 499 00:23:55,337 --> 00:23:56,828 Thank you, Joanna. 500 00:23:56,829 --> 00:23:58,960 If you have any eligible Rockefellers or Whitneys, 501 00:23:58,961 --> 00:24:00,546 Charlie will take one of those. 502 00:24:00,801 --> 00:24:03,275 I myself am fine with a model or a witty gay. 503 00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,309 All right. I'll see what I can do. 504 00:24:06,617 --> 00:24:08,762 What are you even doing here, by the way? 505 00:24:10,091 --> 00:24:12,055 I'm not so sure myself. 506 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,396 I feel a little like Alice in Wonderland. 507 00:24:15,397 --> 00:24:17,174 Well, Manhattan will do that to a girl. 508 00:24:18,073 --> 00:24:20,840 You'll be happy to know it never wears off. 509 00:24:21,392 --> 00:24:22,840 Well, it doesn't matter. 510 00:24:23,093 --> 00:24:24,843 I'm leaving right after the fashion show, 511 00:24:24,844 --> 00:24:26,205 heading back to L.A. 512 00:24:27,184 --> 00:24:30,673 My mom doesn't want me to live in New York. 513 00:24:30,684 --> 00:24:33,750 It's not worth fighting her about. 514 00:24:33,751 --> 00:24:35,190 And how old are you again? 515 00:24:35,857 --> 00:24:39,381 It's just she has a few things she can hold over my head. 516 00:24:39,627 --> 00:24:42,061 Don't you have a few things you can hold over hers? 517 00:24:44,477 --> 00:24:47,191 Yeah. Actually, I do. 518 00:24:47,192 --> 00:24:49,368 I'll bet. She is a Rhodes, isn't she? 519 00:24:50,253 --> 00:24:51,044 I'm starting to realize 520 00:24:51,045 --> 00:24:53,184 that mothers have some of the darkest secrets of all. 521 00:24:53,185 --> 00:24:55,811 Blair, you'll be escorted by Simon Doonan. 522 00:24:55,812 --> 00:24:57,575 Why don't you come with me to meet him? 523 00:24:57,576 --> 00:24:59,800 And Chris Benz will be here any minute to escort you. 524 00:25:06,627 --> 00:25:08,626 Forget what your mother wants, Charlie. 525 00:25:09,052 --> 00:25:10,099 It's your life. 526 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,061 What do you want? 527 00:25:19,553 --> 00:25:23,058 Ah, restaurants. Boulud Sud. Walter loves brushstroke. 528 00:25:23,059 --> 00:25:24,011 Yes, nice. 529 00:25:24,012 --> 00:25:25,461 I never realized you were a journalist, Nate. 530 00:25:25,462 --> 00:25:26,286 Well, neither did I 531 00:25:26,287 --> 00:25:28,572 until the opportunity presented itself, 532 00:25:28,573 --> 00:25:29,637 and I went for it. 533 00:25:29,638 --> 00:25:30,705 Good for you. 534 00:25:31,036 --> 00:25:32,060 Thank you. 535 00:25:32,204 --> 00:25:35,139 So I heard you two just got back from Mykonos. 536 00:25:35,148 --> 00:25:36,222 You wanna tell me about that? 537 00:25:36,223 --> 00:25:37,767 Um, you're mistaken. I had to go to Athens 538 00:25:37,768 --> 00:25:38,730 on a congressional trip. 539 00:25:38,731 --> 00:25:40,370 You bastard. 540 00:25:40,624 --> 00:25:42,576 I knew it. Were you with her? 541 00:25:42,658 --> 00:25:43,488 We're at a party, Nola. Calm down. 542 00:25:43,489 --> 00:25:46,013 I don't care where we are. 543 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,420 That's it. I'm done. My lawyer will call you tomorrow, 544 00:25:48,421 --> 00:25:49,750 and you'd better not put up a fight, 545 00:25:49,751 --> 00:25:53,253 or I will release those photos to everyone in your district. 546 00:25:53,269 --> 00:25:55,070 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything personal. 547 00:25:55,071 --> 00:25:57,025 I had no idea what was going on. 548 00:25:57,075 --> 00:25:59,220 And here I thought you were the nice one in your family. 549 00:25:59,686 --> 00:26:00,779 Congressman. 550 00:26:18,128 --> 00:26:19,525 Rufus and Lily Humphrey. 551 00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:21,741 No phones? I like this party already. 552 00:26:33,437 --> 00:26:35,102 Come on. Let's take a lap, see who's here. 553 00:26:35,103 --> 00:26:36,607 What's Lily doing here? 554 00:26:36,702 --> 00:26:38,200 Oh, I don't know. 555 00:26:38,471 --> 00:26:41,041 What happened? What's she doing here? 556 00:26:44,222 --> 00:26:45,335 What's wrong? 557 00:26:45,466 --> 00:26:47,136 I was so excited to have my freedom back, 558 00:26:47,137 --> 00:26:49,480 I didn't think about what it would actually be like 559 00:26:49,481 --> 00:26:50,203 when it happened. 560 00:26:50,204 --> 00:26:51,854 It's gonna be great. 561 00:26:52,566 --> 00:26:55,113 The last time I was at a party like this, I was co-hosting it. 562 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,859 Now I'm here as a former convict. 563 00:26:56,860 --> 00:26:58,470 You remember what happened at the pink party. 564 00:26:58,471 --> 00:27:00,503 I mean, I'm sure that the judge was more forgiving 565 00:27:00,504 --> 00:27:01,684 than these people will be. 566 00:27:01,685 --> 00:27:05,207 Maybe. Lily, you have served your time 567 00:27:05,208 --> 00:27:06,909 with dignity and grace. 568 00:27:06,910 --> 00:27:07,868 You've earned the right to move on 569 00:27:07,869 --> 00:27:09,483 to the next chapter of your life. 570 00:27:09,484 --> 00:27:10,826 So if anybody here has a problem with that, 571 00:27:10,827 --> 00:27:13,510 they don't get to be a part of the adventure, okay? 572 00:27:16,765 --> 00:27:17,735 Ready? 573 00:27:19,122 --> 00:27:20,341 Okay. 574 00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:24,427 Lily, so good to see you. 575 00:27:24,428 --> 00:27:26,336 Jamie, wow. How are you? 576 00:27:27,116 --> 00:27:28,949 You look so good. Thanks. 577 00:27:28,950 --> 00:27:29,779 I'm gonna get a drink. Okay. 578 00:27:29,780 --> 00:27:31,742 I'll catch up with you guys after the show. 579 00:27:31,794 --> 00:27:32,734 See? 580 00:27:47,757 --> 00:27:48,732 That's her. 581 00:27:58,938 --> 00:28:01,201 Charlie! What are you doing here? 582 00:28:01,732 --> 00:28:04,373 Please don't tell my mom that I'm here. 583 00:28:05,618 --> 00:28:07,145 You can tell her yourself. 584 00:28:26,908 --> 00:28:28,001 Blair, we need to talk. 585 00:28:28,002 --> 00:28:29,455 Do you mind if I take over from here? 586 00:28:29,456 --> 00:28:30,624 Not at all. 587 00:28:30,795 --> 00:28:32,951 Well, I mind. Humphreys are not escort material. 588 00:28:32,952 --> 00:28:35,606 Let's see if we can change that stereotype. 589 00:28:36,157 --> 00:28:38,008 Dorota pieced this together. 590 00:28:38,660 --> 00:28:40,394 Apparently, she's broken quite a few things in your home 591 00:28:40,395 --> 00:28:41,035 you don't know about. 592 00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:42,503 Don't worry. She swore she didn't read it. 593 00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:44,457 What are you doing? 594 00:28:44,518 --> 00:28:46,635 Put that away. Don't you have your own life to ruin? 595 00:28:46,636 --> 00:28:48,517 Actually, uh, yeah. Yeah, I do, 596 00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:50,308 but for some reason, I'm here trying to help you. 597 00:28:50,309 --> 00:28:52,161 You can't hide from this forever. 598 00:28:52,874 --> 00:28:55,603 Why not? Apparently, fatherhood holds no appeal for Louis, 599 00:28:55,604 --> 00:28:57,172 and Chuck will always be Chuck. 600 00:28:57,173 --> 00:28:59,668 If anything, I'm not hiding. I'm facing the truth. 601 00:28:59,669 --> 00:29:01,955 It doesn't matter what test results say. 602 00:29:01,956 --> 00:29:03,326 I'm in this completely alone. 603 00:29:03,327 --> 00:29:05,194 It doesn't matter about the implications 604 00:29:05,195 --> 00:29:06,257 for Chuck or Louis. 605 00:29:06,258 --> 00:29:08,186 Don't you wanna know who the father of your child is? 606 00:29:08,187 --> 00:29:10,992 The only thing I want is to finish this fashion show 607 00:29:10,993 --> 00:29:12,360 sans outer borough escort. 608 00:29:12,361 --> 00:29:14,571 You're right. It's your problem, so why don't you take this? 609 00:29:14,572 --> 00:29:16,168 This is yours as well. 610 00:29:16,317 --> 00:29:18,013 Did you not hear me? I said I don't want it. 611 00:29:18,014 --> 00:29:19,363 Well, it's not mine, so take it. 612 00:29:19,364 --> 00:29:20,300 No. 613 00:29:20,751 --> 00:29:21,742 You got it. 614 00:29:27,428 --> 00:29:28,612 Oh, B. 615 00:29:29,223 --> 00:29:31,536 Your refusal to find out who's the father 616 00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:34,842 has made you cause one mother of a scene. 617 00:29:39,922 --> 00:29:41,943 You knew if I asked Walter McCreedy about Mykonos 618 00:29:41,944 --> 00:29:44,583 it would cause a scene, but I just destroyed a marriage. 619 00:29:44,584 --> 00:29:45,752 What's going on here? 620 00:29:45,753 --> 00:29:47,702 The truth is, I'm not interested 621 00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,350 in interviews with New York's elite. 622 00:29:49,351 --> 00:29:50,984 I want their secrets and scandals. 623 00:29:50,985 --> 00:29:52,341 Oh, aren't you a little late to that party? 624 00:29:52,342 --> 00:29:54,030 Gossip Girl has that covered. 625 00:29:54,031 --> 00:29:55,050 For now. 626 00:29:55,162 --> 00:29:57,110 So you arranged to have everyone's phones checked 627 00:29:57,111 --> 00:29:59,387 to get at least one story that you didn't already have? 628 00:29:59,417 --> 00:30:01,997 It'll never work. When you try to use what you filmed, 629 00:30:01,998 --> 00:30:02,767 you'll be blacklisted. 630 00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,103 Gossip Girl doesn't create scandal. 631 00:30:04,104 --> 00:30:05,985 She just whispers about what's already out there. 632 00:30:05,986 --> 00:30:07,472 And I would have told you that if you'd bothered to tell me 633 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,506 what you were doing instead of using me. 634 00:30:09,841 --> 00:30:11,199 I mean, you had everyone's phones taken. 635 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,604 Why didn't you just, you know, look at some of them? 636 00:30:17,178 --> 00:30:19,838 Nate, that's brilliant! And if we act fast, 637 00:30:19,839 --> 00:30:21,912 we can return them before anyone knows they're gone! 638 00:30:21,913 --> 00:30:22,593 Whoa, no. 639 00:30:22,594 --> 00:30:24,774 This is a one-stop shop of illicit e-mails, 640 00:30:24,775 --> 00:30:26,776 incriminating photos, and sex. 641 00:30:26,777 --> 00:30:28,278 Are you sure you didn't work for news corp? 642 00:30:28,279 --> 00:30:29,345 Diana, just... 643 00:30:29,346 --> 00:30:31,812 This is your idea, and it's a good one. 644 00:30:31,813 --> 00:30:33,101 Don't doubt yourself. 645 00:30:33,102 --> 00:30:34,178 It's not--I just think that, you know, 646 00:30:34,179 --> 00:30:36,351 maybe you should dip your toe into illegal activities 647 00:30:36,352 --> 00:30:39,164 before you, you know, just dive right into it. 648 00:30:39,165 --> 00:30:41,378 If you want any real success, Nate, 649 00:30:41,430 --> 00:30:43,506 you need to take a risk once in a while. 650 00:30:43,507 --> 00:30:45,960 You can stay and help me rebuild "The Spectator," 651 00:30:45,961 --> 00:30:47,972 or you can go home and call your mum. 652 00:30:50,395 --> 00:30:51,460 I'm sure there's still a position 653 00:30:51,461 --> 00:30:53,453 in a senator's office somewhere. 654 00:30:56,347 --> 00:30:58,482 All right, meet me back at the office in 20 minutes, 655 00:30:58,483 --> 00:30:59,789 not a minute later. 656 00:31:24,326 --> 00:31:27,005 I can't believe you thought you would get away with this. 657 00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:29,305 You don't understand. 658 00:31:29,306 --> 00:31:31,722 Did you honestly think I wouldn't come looking for you 659 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:33,528 when you wrote that check? 660 00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:35,922 Well, get changed. I'm gonna tell Lily we're leaving. 661 00:31:35,923 --> 00:31:38,933 It's time for you to go back to your real life 662 00:31:38,946 --> 00:31:40,766 like you should have months ago. 663 00:31:41,264 --> 00:31:42,424 Actually... 664 00:31:43,611 --> 00:31:45,265 I think I wanna stay. 665 00:31:45,350 --> 00:31:48,079 It's not up to you, Ivy. 666 00:31:48,655 --> 00:31:51,160 Yeah, it kind of is. 667 00:31:52,134 --> 00:31:53,808 What are you gonna do about it? 668 00:31:53,846 --> 00:31:54,832 Call the police? 669 00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:57,505 I'd be happy to tell 'em the whole story 670 00:31:57,676 --> 00:32:00,702 about how you hired a struggling actress 671 00:32:00,703 --> 00:32:02,586 to pretend to be your daughter 672 00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:06,314 so that she could gain access to your real daughter's trust fund 673 00:32:06,731 --> 00:32:09,766 just so you could take the money for yourself? 674 00:32:11,769 --> 00:32:14,601 I think the authorities would have a problem with that, 675 00:32:15,261 --> 00:32:16,764 and your family would, too. 676 00:32:16,765 --> 00:32:17,988 You wouldn't. 677 00:32:18,324 --> 00:32:21,095 I came from nothing. 678 00:32:22,046 --> 00:32:24,353 Everything here sparkles. 679 00:32:25,239 --> 00:32:28,225 And that family that you can't stand 680 00:32:28,257 --> 00:32:32,179 has been kinder to me than my own family ever was. 681 00:32:32,976 --> 00:32:34,938 I'm not walking away from that. 682 00:32:35,613 --> 00:32:38,165 And if you try to take me down, Carol, 683 00:32:38,453 --> 00:32:40,038 you're coming with me. 684 00:32:46,718 --> 00:32:48,432 Blair, I'm sorry. 685 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:51,178 I was totally out of line. 686 00:32:51,369 --> 00:32:52,581 Truth is I think I've been using you to avoid 687 00:32:52,582 --> 00:32:54,444 facing some problems of my own. 688 00:32:54,491 --> 00:32:56,939 I promised to hold your hand, but maybe I've been forcing it. 689 00:32:56,940 --> 00:32:59,894 No. I turned to you, Dan, 690 00:33:00,410 --> 00:33:01,711 because I knew you were the only one 691 00:33:01,712 --> 00:33:03,879 who'd protect me from my own worst instincts. 692 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:04,785 For what it's worth, 693 00:33:04,786 --> 00:33:06,474 when Georgina showed up on my doorstep 694 00:33:06,475 --> 00:33:09,295 and told me she was pregnant, I mean, the last thing 695 00:33:09,296 --> 00:33:12,912 I wanted to be was a father, but then milo was born, 696 00:33:12,913 --> 00:33:15,481 and I fell in love with him. 697 00:33:17,804 --> 00:33:20,913 Chuck or Louis--it'll be the same for either of them. 698 00:33:21,145 --> 00:33:23,018 And if I open that envelope... 699 00:33:24,807 --> 00:33:27,073 Will you be able to hide from your problems then? 700 00:33:27,967 --> 00:33:30,054 I think if you have the courage to face your future, 701 00:33:30,055 --> 00:33:32,468 then I should have the courage to face mine. 702 00:33:42,067 --> 00:33:44,262 There once was a Princess B., 703 00:33:44,393 --> 00:33:47,935 undone by the question "Who's the daddy?" 704 00:33:47,936 --> 00:33:49,844 But it's time to find out-- 705 00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:51,507 Will it be Chuck, 706 00:33:51,798 --> 00:33:53,749 or will it be Louis? 707 00:34:11,388 --> 00:34:12,848 I need to talk to you. 708 00:34:12,918 --> 00:34:14,705 I thought we said everything we needed to say 709 00:34:14,706 --> 00:34:16,462 last time we saw each other. 710 00:34:17,892 --> 00:34:19,007 Chuck... 711 00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:22,589 Is this another misguided attempt by Dan 712 00:34:22,590 --> 00:34:24,379 to get me to feel something? 713 00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:26,455 I'm pregnant. 714 00:34:31,228 --> 00:34:32,894 It's Louis'. 715 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:36,793 I... 716 00:34:39,346 --> 00:34:41,911 I didn't want you to find out from someone else 717 00:34:41,912 --> 00:34:44,876 and wonder if the baby was yours. 718 00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:46,686 That's very considerate. 719 00:34:46,963 --> 00:34:48,514 Yes, well... 720 00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:53,411 If I know anything about Chuck Bass, 721 00:34:53,412 --> 00:34:55,648 it's that fatherhood isn't part of the lifestyle. 722 00:34:55,649 --> 00:34:57,064 You must have been very relieved 723 00:34:57,065 --> 00:35:00,180 when you realized you weren't carrying my offspring. 724 00:35:01,109 --> 00:35:03,693 That certainly would have derailed your fairy tale. 725 00:35:03,804 --> 00:35:07,255 This fairy tale is... complicated. 726 00:35:14,049 --> 00:35:16,643 Blair, meet my dog, Monkey. 727 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:21,924 But... I saw "Gossip Girl." I thought you got rid of him. 728 00:35:21,925 --> 00:35:23,546 I just sent him to get fixed. 729 00:35:23,547 --> 00:35:26,000 I thought it was the responsible thing to do. 730 00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:30,071 I should go. 731 00:35:30,072 --> 00:35:31,093 Yes. 732 00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:32,653 Louis is waiting for me. 733 00:35:32,654 --> 00:35:33,819 Of course. 734 00:35:36,118 --> 00:35:39,146 There is a part of me that really wanted it to be yours. 735 00:35:57,395 --> 00:35:59,596 It's impossible, you know. He's got to say to himself, 736 00:35:59,597 --> 00:36:02,119 "I'm a writer! I'm a writer!" 737 00:36:02,180 --> 00:36:03,918 He can hook up with a rookie. All those people 738 00:36:03,919 --> 00:36:07,004 were just drinking themselves into the grave, you know? 739 00:36:07,512 --> 00:36:08,488 Noah. 740 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,206 Hey, uh, I need to talk to you. 741 00:36:11,207 --> 00:36:14,157 Everyone, this is Dan Humphrey. 742 00:36:14,158 --> 00:36:16,014 He was my inspiration 743 00:36:16,015 --> 00:36:18,296 for the character of Dylan hunter. 744 00:36:18,297 --> 00:36:19,769 Isn't that right, Daniel? 745 00:36:22,411 --> 00:36:23,408 No. 746 00:36:26,223 --> 00:36:28,508 You didn't write this book. I did. 747 00:36:31,477 --> 00:36:32,681 Bravo! 748 00:36:32,682 --> 00:36:34,345 He did it! 749 00:36:35,156 --> 00:36:37,440 I told you I'd get him to step forward. 750 00:36:37,648 --> 00:36:39,770 I'm sorry. Did you-- did you do this on purpose? 751 00:36:39,771 --> 00:36:42,202 Destiny is a scary thing to face. 752 00:36:42,203 --> 00:36:44,259 We all need a little push. 753 00:36:44,260 --> 00:36:46,741 You deserve to see what comes of it yourself, 754 00:36:46,742 --> 00:36:51,082 and you will. This is elise and mark from s&s. 755 00:36:51,083 --> 00:36:53,509 This is Jonathan Karp, your editor. 756 00:36:53,510 --> 00:36:56,383 You already know Alessandra. Sit. Join us. 757 00:36:56,384 --> 00:36:58,260 We've got a lot to talk about. 758 00:37:09,138 --> 00:37:11,866 To my beautiful wife, her freedom, 759 00:37:12,645 --> 00:37:15,162 and the end of the ankle bracelet. 760 00:37:15,163 --> 00:37:17,842 Oh, and to the return of my Alaia dresses. 761 00:37:17,843 --> 00:37:21,141 How about we toast to second chances, 762 00:37:21,231 --> 00:37:22,874 for Lily and me? 763 00:37:22,986 --> 00:37:26,003 And, mom, thank you for understanding 764 00:37:26,004 --> 00:37:28,047 that this is where I'm meant to be. 765 00:37:28,242 --> 00:37:29,520 Cheers. 766 00:37:30,754 --> 00:37:31,871 Cheers. 767 00:37:34,182 --> 00:37:36,495 You know, Charlie, Serena's room is empty, 768 00:37:36,496 --> 00:37:38,969 and you are welcome to stay here. 769 00:37:38,970 --> 00:37:39,964 We'd love to have you. 770 00:37:39,965 --> 00:37:42,392 No, no, no. That-- that would be an imposition. 771 00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:44,884 No, really. Eric has only been gone a few days, 772 00:37:44,885 --> 00:37:45,930 and Rufus and I are already 773 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,216 going through empty nest syndrome. 774 00:37:47,217 --> 00:37:49,962 Yeah, making breakfast for two feels so wrong. 775 00:37:52,090 --> 00:37:53,237 I would love to. 776 00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:55,856 Being around family would mean a lot to me. 777 00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:56,957 Great. 778 00:37:59,145 --> 00:38:00,737 Okay, well, um... 779 00:38:00,906 --> 00:38:03,111 I'm gonna go crash in the guest room. 780 00:38:03,112 --> 00:38:04,666 I have an early flight. 781 00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:07,382 What are you talking about? It's only 9:00. 782 00:38:07,383 --> 00:38:08,205 You should go out. 783 00:38:08,206 --> 00:38:09,749 We could all go out. 784 00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:11,296 Maybe--maybe another time. 785 00:38:11,297 --> 00:38:14,138 I'm sure I'll be back again soon anyway. 786 00:38:15,098 --> 00:38:16,345 Hey. So... 787 00:38:18,886 --> 00:38:20,345 I'm gonna make sure that Cece 788 00:38:20,346 --> 00:38:23,239 reinstates your access to my trust. 789 00:38:23,835 --> 00:38:27,522 You are on your own now. Good luck. 790 00:38:50,144 --> 00:38:53,773 The true author of a tell-all tome has been revealed, 791 00:38:53,774 --> 00:38:57,647 and the author's name is one everyone will recognize, 792 00:38:57,648 --> 00:38:58,856 but the question is, 793 00:38:58,857 --> 00:39:00,774 will anyone want to say it again 794 00:39:00,775 --> 00:39:02,507 once the book is out? 795 00:39:08,551 --> 00:39:09,776 You're pregnant. 796 00:39:13,045 --> 00:39:14,156 You're pregnant. 797 00:39:14,157 --> 00:39:17,380 Oh, you're happy. 798 00:39:18,670 --> 00:39:21,527 But... your "Hello!" magazine interview-- 799 00:39:21,528 --> 00:39:22,516 I heard your answers. 800 00:39:22,517 --> 00:39:25,158 I-I just said those things to protect you. 801 00:39:25,178 --> 00:39:27,834 I knew if I even hinted at wanting children, 802 00:39:27,897 --> 00:39:29,938 you would be under constant baby watch. 803 00:39:29,939 --> 00:39:31,856 The press would never leave you alone. 804 00:39:32,539 --> 00:39:34,060 You did that for me? 805 00:39:35,638 --> 00:39:37,265 You really are a prince. 806 00:39:37,266 --> 00:39:39,298 A very happy prince. 807 00:39:40,012 --> 00:39:42,313 The truth is, I can't wait to be a father. 808 00:39:42,314 --> 00:39:44,267 And now I'm going to be one. 809 00:39:44,389 --> 00:39:46,692 Let's go celebrate. Where would you like to go? 810 00:39:46,693 --> 00:39:50,818 Oh, someplace with souffles. My morning sickness is gone. 811 00:39:51,784 --> 00:39:52,976 I know a place. 812 00:39:54,785 --> 00:39:58,998 They closed an hour ago, but they'll reopen for us. 813 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,257 91 ready. 814 00:40:06,258 --> 00:40:09,979 Face your fears, and the rewards can be profound. 815 00:40:09,980 --> 00:40:13,461 You could discover the true depth of a relationship. 816 00:40:19,211 --> 00:40:22,216 Or what you're capable of withstanding. 817 00:40:40,646 --> 00:40:42,389 I'm so happy you're here. 818 00:40:42,390 --> 00:40:44,117 You know, I don't think I realized 819 00:40:44,118 --> 00:40:47,649 until I saw you in L.A. how much I needed family around 820 00:40:47,650 --> 00:40:51,027 or how much you needed me to help you shop. 821 00:40:52,271 --> 00:40:53,849 What are you looking for over there? 822 00:40:54,345 --> 00:40:55,582 My phone. 823 00:40:56,067 --> 00:40:57,578 I think I left it at the fashion show 824 00:40:57,579 --> 00:40:59,571 when the assistant checked it in. 825 00:41:00,147 --> 00:41:01,770 I totally forgot. 826 00:41:01,771 --> 00:41:02,777 Well, I'm sure they still have it. 827 00:41:02,778 --> 00:41:04,685 We'll call in the morning and find out. 828 00:41:07,026 --> 00:41:09,658 The problem is, the more you gain... 829 00:41:11,837 --> 00:41:14,230 People trust their phones way too much. 830 00:41:14,231 --> 00:41:16,177 The more you stand to lose. 831 00:41:16,178 --> 00:41:18,346 There's just this, uh, one phone that didn't have a tag on it, 832 00:41:18,347 --> 00:41:19,901 so I didn't put it back. 833 00:41:20,002 --> 00:41:22,688 You know whose it is? Maybe someone at coat check? 834 00:41:25,794 --> 00:41:27,811 Do you know someone called Ivy? 835 00:41:29,052 --> 00:41:31,756 Get ready to find out what you're made of, 836 00:41:31,793 --> 00:41:34,448 because to survive on the Upper East Side, 837 00:41:34,449 --> 00:41:36,478 you better be fearless. 838 00:41:36,711 --> 00:41:39,364 X.O.X.O. Gossip Girl.