1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,770 The one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:05,648 My meeting was about 3 00:00:05,649 --> 00:00:07,923 transferring her back to her New York office, 4 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,510 and I want you to come with me. 5 00:00:09,613 --> 00:00:11,747 You weren't even the last one to kiss her before Louis. I was. 6 00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:13,906 The last person she was with before she left was me. 7 00:00:13,907 --> 00:00:16,415 There's not a woman in this room who didn't take some pleasure 8 00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,192 in your downfall, myself included. 9 00:00:18,193 --> 00:00:19,845 How about working for me instead? 10 00:00:19,846 --> 00:00:21,363 The newspaper's just the cornerstone 11 00:00:21,364 --> 00:00:23,481 of what I hope is gonna be a new media empire. 12 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,792 I wrote a novel. No one was supposed to see it, 13 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,904 but then Vanessa found it and sent it to a publisher, 14 00:00:27,905 --> 00:00:29,412 so I need to find out which one. 15 00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:32,016 But isn't being published a writer's goal? 16 00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:35,064 Not for this book. It's a-- it's a scathing social satire 17 00:00:35,065 --> 00:00:36,048 about everyone I know. 18 00:00:36,049 --> 00:00:38,576 Have you not told Louis because it might be Chuck's? 19 00:00:38,577 --> 00:00:40,856 I can't be this close to having all my dreams come true 20 00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,932 only to have them yanked away. 21 00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:43,754 Look, I know it's scary, 22 00:00:43,755 --> 00:00:46,359 but I think you should know who the father is. 23 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,104 And what if I lose everything? 24 00:00:55,392 --> 00:01:03,343 Sync by YYeTs.net Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 25 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:08,044 Adapted to 720p IMMERSE Release by Smut subcentral.de 26 00:01:09,956 --> 00:01:11,419 They say the only way 27 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:15,205 to conquer your fear is to face what you fear the most. 28 00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:24,581 You must walk into the belly of the beast... 29 00:01:29,536 --> 00:01:33,024 And risk the possibility of failure. 30 00:01:40,884 --> 00:01:43,029 But try to hide from the fear, 31 00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:45,716 and you risk it swallowing you whole. 32 00:01:46,532 --> 00:01:48,551 Go away. I'm preparing for my interview 33 00:01:48,552 --> 00:01:49,561 with "Hello!" magazine. 34 00:01:49,562 --> 00:01:53,304 But doctor office call again. They have test results. 35 00:01:53,332 --> 00:01:54,963 Hang up, or I'll tell the reporter 36 00:01:54,964 --> 00:01:56,433 you're undocumented. 37 00:02:00,297 --> 00:02:00,876 Hey. 38 00:02:00,877 --> 00:02:02,220 We have problem. 39 00:02:02,221 --> 00:02:04,647 Doctor's office call four times to say paternity test 40 00:02:04,648 --> 00:02:05,869 ready for pickup. 41 00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:06,979 Miss Blair say she busy, 44 00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:13,696 When does Louis get back from his trip? 45 00:02:13,697 --> 00:02:14,628 Tonight. 46 00:02:14,629 --> 00:02:16,691 And Miss Blair had promised us that she find out 47 00:02:16,692 --> 00:02:19,089 who baby daddy is before Prince Louis get home. 48 00:02:19,168 --> 00:02:20,412 All right, I have a couple things to do this morning, 49 00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:21,708 but when I'm done, I will march her 50 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,885 to the doctor's office myself if I have to. 51 00:02:27,993 --> 00:02:30,308 Miss Serena, welcome home! 52 00:02:30,309 --> 00:02:32,592 Dorota, I'm so happy to see you. 53 00:02:37,338 --> 00:02:38,907 We missed you so much. 54 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,000 I go tell Miss Blair you are home. 55 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:42,104 Okay. 56 00:02:45,018 --> 00:02:46,975 Whoa. That is not the look 57 00:02:46,976 --> 00:02:49,492 of a girl in an empire state of mind. 58 00:02:49,493 --> 00:02:52,711 Last week at grandma's was great, 59 00:02:52,712 --> 00:02:55,637 but I don't know. I think it was a mistake to come back. 60 00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:57,611 Stop worrying about your mom. 61 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,296 Cece won't tell a soul you're here, 62 00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:00,678 and she promised to call my mom 63 00:03:00,679 --> 00:03:02,418 to make sure she doesn't say anything either. 64 00:03:02,419 --> 00:03:04,066 But even if that's true, 65 00:03:04,737 --> 00:03:07,816 what about Blair or Dan or everyone else? 66 00:03:07,817 --> 00:03:09,337 I don't think they'll be thrilled to find out 67 00:03:09,338 --> 00:03:11,096 the psychotic freak is back in town. 68 00:03:11,305 --> 00:03:14,315 Please, this place is a mecca for psychotic freaks. 69 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:17,296 Everyone goes off the rails at some point around here. 70 00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:20,003 It's practically a rite of passage 71 00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:21,004 on the Upper East Side. 72 00:03:21,005 --> 00:03:23,420 It's our version of a bar mitzvah. 73 00:03:23,472 --> 00:03:27,360 Well, maybe for someone who's from here, but me... 74 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:30,471 You a Rhodes? You'll be fine. 75 00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:32,670 Come on. 76 00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:41,660 I suffer through mediocre sex with an editor's assistant 77 00:03:41,661 --> 00:03:43,056 to find out who's publishing your book, 78 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,133 and this is how you thank me? 79 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,975 Chuck, you felt nothing after "Field of Dreams," 80 00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:49,388 so I'm taking it to the next level. 81 00:03:49,389 --> 00:03:50,876 If that movie can't make you feel, 82 00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:53,084 then maybe this little guy can. 83 00:03:54,437 --> 00:03:56,666 The only thing this mongrel makes me feel is disgust. 84 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,584 Take it back to the pound, or I will. 85 00:03:58,585 --> 00:03:59,451 Sorry. I have a meeting. 86 00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:00,972 I gotta kill this book once and for all. 87 00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,259 I have to see my old mentor Noah shapiro. 88 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:05,241 It'll take some persuading, but I think it'll help. 89 00:04:05,242 --> 00:04:07,826 I have some knee pads in the bedroom if you need them. 90 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:10,916 I think simple conversation will do the trick, but thank you. 91 00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:14,572 Whoa. Who's this little guy? 92 00:04:15,264 --> 00:04:16,360 He's Chuck's new, uh-- 93 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:19,105 drunken mistake. Never sleep with a girl from P.E.T.A. 94 00:04:19,502 --> 00:04:20,740 What, did we have plans or something? 95 00:04:20,741 --> 00:04:21,668 Is that why you're here? 96 00:04:21,669 --> 00:04:24,167 No, no, I'm just here to wish you good luck on your first day. 97 00:04:24,168 --> 00:04:25,225 Good luck. 98 00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:27,292 Thank you. 99 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,224 Remember to walk the dog. 100 00:04:36,173 --> 00:04:37,268 What, are you gonna keep him? 101 00:04:37,269 --> 00:04:37,915 Of course not. 102 00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:40,056 Well, you should. You might need a new buddy. 103 00:04:40,057 --> 00:04:41,515 I won't be around much between school 104 00:04:41,516 --> 00:04:42,888 and my new job at "The Spectator." 105 00:04:42,889 --> 00:04:44,586 You do know this is not the kind of job 106 00:04:44,587 --> 00:04:46,456 you should get from a chick at a Hollywood party. 107 00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:48,075 Diana's completely rebuilding the paper, 108 00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:49,240 and even though I'm only an intern, 109 00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:51,252 she says there's a lot of opportunity to move up. 110 00:04:51,253 --> 00:04:53,878 Nathaniel, you and I both know the only reason 111 00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:57,020 this woman's hired you is so you can please her in the bedroom, 112 00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:58,381 not the boardroom. 113 00:04:58,784 --> 00:05:00,897 Now... if you'll excuse me, 114 00:05:01,305 --> 00:05:05,268 I have to call Victor, get this thing... out of here. 115 00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,669 Mmm! Yum. 116 00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:17,377 You're back! 117 00:05:17,378 --> 00:05:18,463 Yeah! 118 00:05:18,925 --> 00:05:22,066 Oh, I thought I'd lost you to the land of pole dancing classes 119 00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:22,944 and gluten-free foods. 120 00:05:22,945 --> 00:05:25,648 I am back, and look who I brought with me. 121 00:05:26,116 --> 00:05:27,781 Okay. And why? 122 00:05:27,841 --> 00:05:29,980 She's hit a rough patch with her mother. 123 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:30,956 You know how that is. 124 00:05:30,957 --> 00:05:32,979 I thought maybe she could stay in the guest room 125 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,741 until we figure things out. 126 00:05:37,057 --> 00:05:39,728 I'll allow it. Welcome back. 127 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:44,919 Well, thank you for letting me stay at your place. 128 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,091 I love your apartment. 129 00:05:46,092 --> 00:05:47,533 Oh, you should have seen the place 130 00:05:47,534 --> 00:05:50,803 I found Charlie living. "Squalor" is too nice a word. 131 00:05:50,804 --> 00:05:53,047 But now you have heated bathroom floors 132 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,276 and the future Princess of Monaco 133 00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:57,155 as your landlord. Speaking of which, 134 00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,529 B., where's your prince? 135 00:05:59,387 --> 00:06:01,844 Cologne for a charity event. He'll be back tonight. 136 00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:04,005 Which is why Miss Blair must be going. 137 00:06:04,314 --> 00:06:06,299 Many things to do before he returns. 138 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,157 Like possibly find a new maid. 139 00:06:08,164 --> 00:06:09,736 An employee with one child is annoying. 140 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,319 Two is grounds for termination. 141 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,124 Oh, my gosh. Dorota, I forgot. Congratulations. 142 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,399 Thank you. I must say, 143 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,414 best part of pregnancy is knowing who father is. 144 00:06:20,351 --> 00:06:21,327 Well... 145 00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:23,635 Sorry to eclair and run, ladies, 146 00:06:23,636 --> 00:06:25,315 but I have an interview today, 147 00:06:25,316 --> 00:06:26,679 and I need to go over my talking points. 148 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,012 Wait. No, no. Does this mean you're not going 149 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,744 to the Jenny Packham show tonight? 150 00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:32,724 We were finally invited to model together. 151 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,951 Well, as much as it pains me, 152 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:36,091 I guess you'll have to storm the catwalk without me. 153 00:06:36,376 --> 00:06:37,656 Bisous, mes cheres. 154 00:06:39,937 --> 00:06:41,499 Now time to do thing you swore 155 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,148 to Mr. Humphrey you do before prince home. 156 00:06:44,149 --> 00:06:46,145 If you mean shopping, absolutely. 157 00:06:46,975 --> 00:06:49,345 See? I told you. That went great. 158 00:06:49,361 --> 00:06:51,677 Now that you've survived Blair, let's go talk to my mom. 159 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:56,124 I can go prime her first so it's not too big of a surprise. 160 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,653 You can unpack and have the car bring you there after. 161 00:06:59,034 --> 00:07:01,533 She will welcome you with open arms. You'll see. 162 00:07:08,424 --> 00:07:11,821 So Dan Humphrey wrote an actual novel. 163 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:12,196 Yeah. 164 00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:16,127 And I was confident you'd remain an epic disappointment. 165 00:07:16,128 --> 00:07:18,426 Well, I never intended to publish "Inside." 166 00:07:18,427 --> 00:07:19,328 Somehow it fell 167 00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:21,405 into Simon & Schuster's laps anonymously, 168 00:07:22,018 --> 00:07:23,179 and since they're your publisher, 169 00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:25,229 I was hoping you could get the book killed. 170 00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,583 It's a satire of my entire life 171 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:30,742 and everyone I know, and if it's released, 172 00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,009 I'll be a pariah. 173 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,872 My, you turned out to be an even bigger coward 174 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,552 than I thought. 175 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:42,289 The best way to make sure your book fades into oblivion-- 176 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,396 leave it alone. 177 00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:44,448 What, let it come out? 178 00:07:44,449 --> 00:07:46,680 Have you seen what's on the best seller list? 179 00:07:46,681 --> 00:07:49,517 Unless you're friends with Rizzoli and Isles 180 00:07:49,518 --> 00:07:51,315 or related to a bounty hunter, 181 00:07:51,316 --> 00:07:53,983 no one will give a crap about your world. 182 00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:55,203 You'll be lucky if your book 183 00:07:55,204 --> 00:07:57,612 makes it into the remainder bin at strand. 184 00:07:57,724 --> 00:08:01,884 Trust me. Let it come out, and vanish. 185 00:08:04,237 --> 00:08:05,292 Ready to go? 186 00:08:05,645 --> 00:08:08,735 Dan Humphrey, Alessandra Steele, my agent. 187 00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:09,592 Nice to meet you. 188 00:08:09,593 --> 00:08:10,645 You, too. 189 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,715 Um, well, if you really think it's best for me to do nothing, 190 00:08:13,716 --> 00:08:16,133 then that's what I'll do. Thank you. 191 00:08:16,211 --> 00:08:17,801 And please don't tell anyone. 192 00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,409 Wait outside a second. 193 00:08:27,577 --> 00:08:30,504 I need to call my old friend Jonathan Karp. 194 00:08:33,988 --> 00:08:36,560 I should go. I'm gonna be late for my panic meeting. 195 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:38,485 You okay? 196 00:08:38,939 --> 00:08:39,899 Yeah. 197 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,683 With Eric gone, it's pretty lonely. 198 00:08:43,684 --> 00:08:45,784 I feel like all I do is play "Angry Birds" 199 00:08:45,785 --> 00:08:48,472 and grill Larissa for gossip. 200 00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:49,818 Well, there's only one more month, 201 00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:50,816 and Serena's back today. 202 00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:53,376 Ohh. Mwah. True. It'll be so good to see her. 203 00:08:56,913 --> 00:08:58,740 Carol, I am so glad you called. 204 00:08:58,741 --> 00:09:01,124 I'm sorry I've been out of touch. 205 00:09:01,405 --> 00:09:03,239 Have you heard anything from Charlie? 206 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,963 No. Why? Is everything okay? 207 00:09:04,964 --> 00:09:07,604 She's taken off, and I think she might be 208 00:09:07,605 --> 00:09:09,975 on the west coast, and mom's not returning my calls. 209 00:09:09,976 --> 00:09:11,439 Have you spoken to her? 210 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,211 A few times, 211 00:09:12,212 --> 00:09:14,320 but Serena's back from Los Angeles, 212 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,179 so I'll see if she's heard from Charlie. 213 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,722 Serena was in L.A.? 214 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,355 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 215 00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:23,067 Listen... why don't I fly up? 216 00:09:23,068 --> 00:09:25,436 It would be really good for me to be around 217 00:09:25,437 --> 00:09:26,964 family right now anyway. 218 00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:30,240 Sure. Come. Um, I could definitely use the company. 219 00:09:30,241 --> 00:09:32,599 And in the meantime, I'll let you know if I hear anything. 220 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,124 Okay. Bye-bye, sweetie. 221 00:09:45,288 --> 00:09:46,966 Did you pick up the test results? 222 00:09:47,056 --> 00:09:50,160 I'm just opening the door to the doctor's office. 223 00:09:50,161 --> 00:09:51,633 I'd better hang up, though. 224 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:54,465 It's so rude to talk on the phone... 225 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,501 Hi. 226 00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:58,946 Oh. 227 00:10:02,072 --> 00:10:04,735 Turns out that the rumored U.E.S. novel 228 00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:06,833 is fact, not fiction, 229 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:10,169 and I have the inside scoop on who the author is. 230 00:10:10,186 --> 00:10:13,273 Patience, pets. Your answer's coming. 231 00:10:22,936 --> 00:10:25,276 Right now the median age of this paper's readership 232 00:10:25,277 --> 00:10:28,957 is over 50, and its online presence all but nonexistent. 233 00:10:29,055 --> 00:10:31,212 They don't even have an app, for God's sake. 234 00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:34,229 So... first course of business is rebranding. 235 00:10:34,361 --> 00:10:35,376 That's why I'm having the paper 236 00:10:35,377 --> 00:10:37,780 sponsor the Jenny Packham party tonight. 237 00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:40,545 Show we're a little more glamorous now that I'm here. 238 00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:42,557 So where can I start? 239 00:10:46,332 --> 00:10:49,341 How about by making me scream? 240 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,395 What? Right here with a full office? 241 00:10:52,396 --> 00:10:54,588 I mean, the staff might think you're playing favorites. 242 00:10:54,643 --> 00:10:57,013 Besides, I don't like an audience. 243 00:11:00,707 --> 00:11:02,821 Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention? 244 00:11:04,321 --> 00:11:05,600 You're all fired. 245 00:11:05,836 --> 00:11:07,484 Don't bother cleaning out your desks. 246 00:11:07,677 --> 00:11:08,717 Good luck. 247 00:11:22,821 --> 00:11:25,653 All right. Come on. Hey, take a deep breath. 248 00:11:26,012 --> 00:11:27,404 Let's open that bad boy. 249 00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:29,132 What?! Here? 250 00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:31,959 The results of this test could alter the course of my life. 251 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:32,827 You want me to face that 252 00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:34,396 in front of pigeons and--and street vendors? 253 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:36,106 You said yourself that the odds are in Louis' favor. 254 00:11:36,107 --> 00:11:38,125 And he will be an amazing father. 255 00:11:40,944 --> 00:11:43,392 But... what if it's Chuck's? 256 00:11:43,516 --> 00:11:44,547 I know. 257 00:11:44,548 --> 00:11:46,027 You're right. I'll open it, 258 00:11:46,028 --> 00:11:49,319 immediately after my interview with "Hello!" magazine. 259 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,719 I can't face the press if I've just heard unsettling news. 260 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,093 I need to look like Grace Kelly, not Grace Coddington. 261 00:11:54,094 --> 00:11:55,618 I have to manage some business of my own, 262 00:11:55,619 --> 00:11:57,564 but go do your interview. 263 00:11:57,565 --> 00:11:58,460 I'll meet you back at your apartment, 264 00:11:58,461 --> 00:11:59,372 and we can open it then. 265 00:11:59,373 --> 00:12:01,293 That is much more civilized... 266 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,100 Unlike your hair, Humphrey. 267 00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:05,114 You look like a muppet. 268 00:12:06,704 --> 00:12:09,010 Oh, the whole summer was amazing, 269 00:12:09,011 --> 00:12:10,867 but getting the job with Jane made it feel 270 00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:12,640 like it all happened for a reason, you know? 271 00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:14,919 I start setting up her New York office tomorrow. 272 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,600 Oh, that is so wonderful, sweetheart. 273 00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:18,169 I am so proud of you. 274 00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:21,667 By the way, have you heard anything from your cousin? 275 00:12:21,668 --> 00:12:23,802 I got a call from Carol this morning, very concerned. 276 00:12:23,803 --> 00:12:26,841 I guess Charlie might have run away to Los Angeles. 277 00:12:26,899 --> 00:12:28,501 Grandma didn't call you? 278 00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:31,852 So that's what she was calling about. 279 00:12:31,853 --> 00:12:33,648 Look, Carol was cutting her off, 280 00:12:33,649 --> 00:12:35,720 and by the way, Charlie's 19. 281 00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:37,597 So it's not like she's running away. 282 00:12:37,598 --> 00:12:38,651 She's just leaving home. 283 00:12:38,652 --> 00:12:41,185 I know, but your grandmother should not be lying to Carol. 284 00:12:41,186 --> 00:12:44,669 After all, Charlie has had sade serious mental health issues. 285 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,155 Mom, I saw her myself. She's fine, I promise. 286 00:12:48,156 --> 00:12:49,380 Well, that's not for you to decide. 287 00:12:49,381 --> 00:12:50,447 Carol is her mother, 288 00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:52,801 and I'm not gonna participate in deceiving her. 289 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,723 Sorry, Charlie, but it looks like your Upper East Side dream 290 00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:04,145 just turned into a nightmare. 291 00:13:05,538 --> 00:13:08,020 When I interviewed Prince Louis for this article, 292 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,629 he said that family's very important to you. 293 00:13:11,353 --> 00:13:13,816 That's one of the many things he loves about you. 294 00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:15,360 He said that? 295 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,517 So... what about the two of you? 296 00:13:18,976 --> 00:13:20,664 When will you be starting a family? 297 00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:24,095 Oh, well, that's a very personal question. 298 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:25,568 We can skip it. 299 00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:28,604 Anyway, your fiance answered for you. 300 00:13:28,748 --> 00:13:30,205 According to him, 301 00:13:30,328 --> 00:13:31,696 it's a long way off. 302 00:13:31,697 --> 00:13:34,476 "Blair hasn't expressed an interest in being a mother yet, 303 00:13:34,477 --> 00:13:36,650 "and I'm nowhere near ready to be a father 304 00:13:36,651 --> 00:13:38,220 at this point in my life." 305 00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:43,165 Is it the translation? I'm quite sure it's accurate. 306 00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:44,749 No. I'm sure it is. 307 00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,256 You have your answer. 308 00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:49,224 Well, thank you for your time. 309 00:13:49,225 --> 00:13:51,657 I'm sure the two of you will be very happy. 310 00:14:04,757 --> 00:14:06,231 Alessandra, hi. I'm, uh-- 311 00:14:06,232 --> 00:14:08,681 Dan Humphrey. I'm good with names. 312 00:14:09,189 --> 00:14:11,589 If you're looking for Noah, he's not here. 313 00:14:11,597 --> 00:14:13,533 I just came by to grab some of his things. 314 00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:14,652 Do you know when he'll be back? 315 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:15,884 He won't. 316 00:14:16,109 --> 00:14:17,308 Well, I really need to talk to him. 317 00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:18,968 I confided in him a personal matter, 318 00:14:18,969 --> 00:14:21,008 and he--he might have-- he might have said something 319 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:21,979 he wasn't supposed to say. 320 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,336 Yeah, I promise you, he doesn't have time 321 00:14:23,337 --> 00:14:24,882 for petty gossip right now. 322 00:14:24,901 --> 00:14:27,108 His hands are full with the release of his new book. 323 00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,988 Now if you don't mind, I have a lot to deal with. 324 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:31,556 He didn't mention anything about a book 325 00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:32,524 this morning when I saw him. 326 00:14:32,525 --> 00:14:34,238 Nobody knew about it, not even me. 327 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,664 Noah submitted it secretly 328 00:14:35,665 --> 00:14:38,337 because he wanted his editor's honest reaction. 329 00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:41,145 I would kill him if the book wasn't so brilliant, 330 00:14:41,676 --> 00:14:43,377 and I'm only on page 60. 331 00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:45,924 It's called "Inside." 332 00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:48,629 Oh, hold on a sec. 333 00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,565 Yeah. The reservation's for tonight. 334 00:14:51,939 --> 00:14:53,443 Club a steakhouse. 335 00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:56,188 Ask Noah if he wants anyone else there. 336 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,223 Look, I will make sure that you get a signed copy 337 00:14:59,224 --> 00:15:00,441 when it's released. 338 00:15:01,165 --> 00:15:02,604 It's about people your age. 339 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:04,176 You'll love it. 340 00:15:04,865 --> 00:15:06,789 Poor Lonely Boy. 341 00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:08,776 You just learned the true meaning 342 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:11,432 of publish or perish. 343 00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:18,457 Hey, Max, it's me, Ivy. 344 00:15:18,957 --> 00:15:21,228 I think I made a big mistake. 345 00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:23,645 I should have come with you to Portland. 346 00:15:23,844 --> 00:15:26,695 So I, uh, got a bus ticket, 347 00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:28,847 and I'll see you as soon as I can. 348 00:15:28,848 --> 00:15:30,320 I hope you can forgive me. 349 00:15:30,968 --> 00:15:32,368 Hey. What are you doing? 350 00:15:32,369 --> 00:15:33,481 I'm leaving. 351 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,869 I heard what your mom said. 352 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,513 Wait. So you showed up at her place after all? 353 00:15:41,445 --> 00:15:43,699 But, Charlie, I can turn my mom around. 354 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,193 I'll go back there right now. 355 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,962 It's not your mom. It's mine. 356 00:15:48,316 --> 00:15:50,639 She doesn't want me in New York. 357 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,585 Being here is like a dream come true, 358 00:15:54,156 --> 00:15:58,008 but... maybe she's right. I don't belong here. 359 00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:59,360 Just because you weren't born here 360 00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:00,955 doesn't mean you don't belong here. 361 00:16:00,956 --> 00:16:02,877 I'm sorry, Serena. 362 00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:05,801 Thanks again for everything. 363 00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:14,874 Hey, um, if you really are leaving, 364 00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,867 could you do me a favor and, uh, return my tickets 365 00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,964 to the Jenny Packham show? It's... 366 00:16:19,965 --> 00:16:22,112 Already bad enough that I canceled being a model 367 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:22,955 so last minute. 368 00:16:22,956 --> 00:16:24,904 I think that if I let my tickets go to waste, 369 00:16:24,905 --> 00:16:25,986 they'll never invite me back. 370 00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:28,660 Of course. It's the least I can do. 371 00:16:28,665 --> 00:16:31,353 Thank you. Call me from L.A. 372 00:16:46,026 --> 00:16:47,674 Disaster averted. 373 00:16:48,184 --> 00:16:50,290 Andre Leon talley got everyone in a panic 374 00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:52,400 about leaking images of Jenny Packham's show 375 00:16:52,401 --> 00:16:53,608 on his Twitter tonight. 376 00:16:53,609 --> 00:16:55,289 They were gonna cancel the party. 377 00:16:55,452 --> 00:16:56,776 I suggested that no one be allowed 378 00:16:56,777 --> 00:16:58,583 to bring their cameras into the party 379 00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:01,144 or even their cell phones, and now the show's back on. 380 00:17:03,037 --> 00:17:04,334 Care to celebrate? 381 00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,188 I'd love to celebrate. 382 00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:11,003 In fact, I love celebrating with you 383 00:17:11,004 --> 00:17:12,882 as many times a day as possible. 384 00:17:13,216 --> 00:17:15,695 But I'm just starting to wonder if that's all you hired me for. 385 00:17:15,845 --> 00:17:16,682 And you know what? 386 00:17:16,683 --> 00:17:18,895 I think my mom could still get me the job with the senator. 387 00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,235 Oh, you're not serious. 388 00:17:20,236 --> 00:17:21,871 And why wouldn't I be? 389 00:17:22,225 --> 00:17:24,204 I came to work for you so I could establish myself 390 00:17:24,205 --> 00:17:26,184 outside of my family's influence. 391 00:17:26,185 --> 00:17:27,748 Now if this just some big joke to you, 392 00:17:27,749 --> 00:17:28,928 I might as well take an internship 393 00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:30,468 that looks good on my resume. 394 00:17:31,304 --> 00:17:33,113 This is no joke, 395 00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,827 and I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. 396 00:17:37,212 --> 00:17:38,428 Sit down. 397 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,356 Do you know Walter McCreedy and his wife Nola? 398 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,787 Congressman McCreedy? Of course. 399 00:17:48,788 --> 00:17:50,884 I play squash with him at the club sometimes. 400 00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,772 She's a famous socialite. He's a hot young congressman. 401 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,276 They're gonna be at the show tonight. 402 00:17:55,277 --> 00:17:56,748 I want an interview with them. 403 00:17:56,749 --> 00:17:59,197 And since you fired all your actual reporters, 404 00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:01,643 you're willing to let me do this? 405 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,183 This is how you learn. 406 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,876 Dorota, pick up my dresses at the tailor. 407 00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:51,432 I'm going to the Jenny Packham party. 408 00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:53,809 But you have date with Prince Louis tonight. 409 00:18:54,097 --> 00:18:57,132 And Mr. Humphrey on his way over to help with letter opening. 410 00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:59,309 Mention that name again, and you'll be exiled 411 00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:00,728 to work the rest of your days 412 00:19:00,729 --> 00:19:03,264 in someplace horrible, like the Upper West Side. 413 00:19:03,265 --> 00:19:04,860 You know what happens to housekeepers there. 414 00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:06,508 The Zabars zombies. 415 00:19:31,149 --> 00:19:33,385 Oh, excuse me. I'm here to return 416 00:19:33,386 --> 00:19:34,880 Serena Van Der Woodsen's tickets. 417 00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:36,740 Good. You're here. Come with me. 418 00:19:36,744 --> 00:19:40,053 Oh, wait. You don't understand. Let me explain. 419 00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:42,857 So this is the dress that you'll be wearing tonight. 420 00:19:42,858 --> 00:19:44,472 We'll need to make some tiny adjustments, 421 00:19:44,473 --> 00:19:46,329 but that's what tape and pins are for, right? 422 00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:49,719 I'm sorry, but I think there's a misunderstanding. 423 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,034 I'm not Serena. I'm just here to drop those off for her. 424 00:19:53,035 --> 00:19:55,178 Right. You're her cousin, Charlie Rhodes. 425 00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:58,319 Have some champagne while you wait. 426 00:20:20,778 --> 00:20:22,457 How about it, Charlie? 427 00:20:22,605 --> 00:20:24,527 One last Cinderella moment 428 00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:27,424 before you turn back into a bumpkin. 429 00:20:35,677 --> 00:20:37,101 Hello, my love. 430 00:20:37,349 --> 00:20:39,996 Put that depressing Russian literature down 431 00:20:39,997 --> 00:20:41,656 and get dressed. I'm taking you out. 432 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,607 I wish. I would do anything to go to a party right now, 433 00:20:44,608 --> 00:20:46,962 but don't let me stop you. If you wanna go out, go out. 434 00:20:46,963 --> 00:20:48,779 You're not the one under house arrest. 435 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:51,440 Neither are you. You know all of those meetings I've been having 436 00:20:51,441 --> 00:20:53,225 with panic about the new album? 437 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,395 Well, half of them weren't with panic. 438 00:20:55,396 --> 00:20:56,792 They were with your lawyer. 439 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,752 I wanted to see if he could convince the judge 440 00:20:58,753 --> 00:21:00,341 to grant you an early release. 441 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,699 I just got the call. 442 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,396 You are officially a free woman. 443 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:06,481 Oh, my God. Rufus, is this for real? 444 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:10,119 100%. Your ankle monitor was deactivated an hour ago. 445 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,687 So I thought we could go to that fashion show to celebrate. 446 00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:17,427 An actual event where I don't have to tend the bar myself, 447 00:21:17,428 --> 00:21:18,947 with people I'm not related to, 448 00:21:18,948 --> 00:21:21,221 and--and clothes I didn't order online? 449 00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:22,373 Mm-hmm. 450 00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:24,935 Rufus, oh, you must really... 451 00:21:24,936 --> 00:21:25,882 Love me, don't you? 452 00:21:25,883 --> 00:21:28,676 Very much. Now hurry up and get changed. 453 00:21:28,677 --> 00:21:29,471 Mmm. 454 00:21:29,472 --> 00:21:31,539 An officer's gonna be here any minute to remove your monitor. 455 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:32,168 Oh. 456 00:21:32,169 --> 00:21:34,999 Okay? Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Wait. 457 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,219 What about Carol? Her flight's gonna be here soon. 458 00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:38,975 Text her. Have her meet us at the party. 459 00:21:38,976 --> 00:21:41,623 They say freedom comes at a price. 460 00:21:41,624 --> 00:21:43,200 Better watch out, Charlie. 461 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:46,401 I think you're going to be the one footing this bill. 462 00:21:48,049 --> 00:21:49,638 Noah Shapiro's trying to steal my book. 463 00:21:49,639 --> 00:21:51,547 So he's doing you a favor. 464 00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:53,341 Now you have nothing to worry about. 465 00:21:54,377 --> 00:21:55,320 It just seems wrong. 466 00:21:55,321 --> 00:21:58,208 There's nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey. 467 00:21:58,209 --> 00:22:00,450 But since you seem to be so afflicted with it, 468 00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:01,807 you have two options. 469 00:22:01,808 --> 00:22:04,328 Either you go tell Simon & Schuster and the world 470 00:22:04,329 --> 00:22:07,241 that Noah Shapiro is a credit-stealing liar, 471 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,926 or you stay quiet forever and simply let it go. 472 00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:13,580 Whatever you decide, do it already. 473 00:22:13,701 --> 00:22:15,208 I might not be able to feel anything, 474 00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,097 but at least I'm not paralyzed. 475 00:22:25,497 --> 00:22:27,036 Careful, Dan. 476 00:22:27,037 --> 00:22:30,541 He who runs from the fear falls into the pit. 477 00:22:30,565 --> 00:22:33,311 Looks like you're about to take a tumble. 478 00:22:57,137 --> 00:22:58,178 Your phone. 479 00:22:58,401 --> 00:23:00,673 Oh. And not soon enough. 480 00:23:00,723 --> 00:23:01,970 Blair Waldorf. 481 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,411 Uh, this belongs to one of the models. 482 00:23:04,412 --> 00:23:05,392 Check it under the name Charlie Rho-- 483 00:23:05,393 --> 00:23:07,953 Excuse me. I'm Blair Waldorf. 484 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,684 Where should I report for hair and makeup? 485 00:23:09,685 --> 00:23:11,722 Oh. I was told you weren't participating. 486 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,077 Mm, now you're being told differently. Keep up. 487 00:23:14,099 --> 00:23:15,413 Right this way. 488 00:23:26,375 --> 00:23:28,184 There's the congressman and his wife. 489 00:23:28,344 --> 00:23:30,180 Just remember this is a lifestyle piece, 490 00:23:30,181 --> 00:23:33,236 so find out what restaurants they've been going to lately, 491 00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:35,373 you know, where they summered, that sort of thing. 492 00:23:35,577 --> 00:23:37,883 Oh, and I heard that they just came back from Mykonos. 493 00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:39,340 I'd love to hear more about that. 494 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:41,837 All right, perfect. 495 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,759 Jenny Packham wanted this to be a deconstructed fashion show, 496 00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,988 so instead of a runway, 497 00:23:59,989 --> 00:24:02,196 you'll be walking through the party with escorts-- 498 00:24:02,197 --> 00:24:03,221 either a professional model 499 00:24:03,222 --> 00:24:04,952 or a special guest like yourself. 500 00:24:05,237 --> 00:24:06,728 Thank you, Joanna. 501 00:24:06,729 --> 00:24:08,860 If you have any eligible Rockefellers or Whitneys, 502 00:24:08,861 --> 00:24:10,446 Charlie will take one of those. 503 00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:13,175 I myself am fine with a model or a witty gay. 504 00:24:13,176 --> 00:24:15,209 All right. I'll see what I can do. 505 00:24:16,517 --> 00:24:18,662 What are you even doing here, by the way? 506 00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,955 I'm not so sure myself. 507 00:24:22,810 --> 00:24:25,296 I feel a little like Alice in Wonderland. 508 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,074 Well, Manhattan will do that to a girl. 509 00:24:27,973 --> 00:24:30,740 You'll be happy to know it never wears off. 510 00:24:31,292 --> 00:24:32,740 Well, it doesn't matter. 511 00:24:32,993 --> 00:24:34,743 I'm leaving right after the fashion show, 512 00:24:34,744 --> 00:24:36,105 heading back to L.A. 513 00:24:37,084 --> 00:24:40,573 My mom doesn't want me to live in New York. 514 00:24:40,584 --> 00:24:43,650 It's not worth fighting her about. 515 00:24:43,651 --> 00:24:45,090 And how old are you again? 516 00:24:45,757 --> 00:24:49,281 It's just she has a few things she can hold over my head. 517 00:24:49,527 --> 00:24:51,961 Don't you have a few things you can hold over hers? 518 00:24:54,377 --> 00:24:57,091 Yeah. Actually, I do. 519 00:24:57,092 --> 00:24:59,268 I'll bet. She is a Rhodes, isn't she? 520 00:25:00,153 --> 00:25:00,944 I'm starting to realize 521 00:25:00,945 --> 00:25:03,084 that mothers have some of the darkest secrets of all. 522 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,711 Blair, you'll be escorted by Simon Doonan. 523 00:25:05,712 --> 00:25:07,475 Why don't you come with me to meet him? 524 00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:09,700 And Chris Benz will be here any minute to escort you. 525 00:25:16,527 --> 00:25:18,526 Forget what your mother wants, Charlie. 526 00:25:18,952 --> 00:25:19,999 It's your life. 527 00:25:20,860 --> 00:25:21,961 What do you want? 528 00:25:29,453 --> 00:25:32,958 Ah, restaurants. Boulud Sud. Walter loves brushstroke. 529 00:25:32,959 --> 00:25:33,911 Yes, nice. 530 00:25:33,912 --> 00:25:35,361 I never realized you were a journalist, Nate. 531 00:25:35,362 --> 00:25:36,186 Well, neither did I 532 00:25:36,187 --> 00:25:38,472 until the opportunity presented itself, 533 00:25:38,473 --> 00:25:39,537 and I went for it. 534 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:40,605 Good for you. 535 00:25:40,936 --> 00:25:41,960 Thank you. 536 00:25:42,104 --> 00:25:45,039 So I heard you two just got back from Mykonos. 537 00:25:45,048 --> 00:25:46,122 You wanna tell me about that? 538 00:25:46,123 --> 00:25:47,667 Um, you're mistaken. I had to go to Athens 539 00:25:47,668 --> 00:25:48,630 on a congressional trip. 540 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,270 You bastard. 541 00:25:50,524 --> 00:25:52,476 I knew it. Were you with her? 542 00:25:52,558 --> 00:25:53,388 We're at a party, Nola. Calm down. 543 00:25:53,389 --> 00:25:55,913 I don't care where we are. 544 00:25:56,112 --> 00:25:58,320 That's it. I'm done. My lawyer will call you tomorrow, 545 00:25:58,321 --> 00:25:59,650 and you'd better not put up a fight, 546 00:25:59,651 --> 00:26:03,153 or I will release those photos to everyone in your district. 547 00:26:03,169 --> 00:26:04,970 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything personal. 548 00:26:04,971 --> 00:26:06,925 I had no idea what was going on. 549 00:26:06,975 --> 00:26:09,120 And here I thought you were the nice one in your family. 550 00:26:09,586 --> 00:26:10,679 Congressman. 551 00:26:28,028 --> 00:26:29,425 Rufus and Lily Humphrey. 552 00:26:29,550 --> 00:26:31,641 No phones? I like this party already. 553 00:26:43,337 --> 00:26:45,002 Come on. Let's take a lap, see who's here. 554 00:26:45,003 --> 00:26:46,507 What's Lily doing here? 555 00:26:46,602 --> 00:26:48,100 Oh, I don't know. 556 00:26:48,371 --> 00:26:50,941 What happened? What's she doing here? 557 00:26:54,122 --> 00:26:55,235 What's wrong? 558 00:26:55,366 --> 00:26:57,036 I was so excited to have my freedom back, 559 00:26:57,037 --> 00:26:59,380 I didn't think about what it would actually be like 560 00:26:59,381 --> 00:27:00,103 when it happened. 561 00:27:00,104 --> 00:27:01,754 It's gonna be great. 562 00:27:02,466 --> 00:27:05,013 The last time I was at a party like this, I was co-hosting it. 563 00:27:05,014 --> 00:27:06,759 Now I'm here as a former convict. 564 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,370 You remember what happened at the pink party. 565 00:27:08,371 --> 00:27:10,403 I mean, I'm sure that the judge was more forgiving 566 00:27:10,404 --> 00:27:11,584 than these people will be. 567 00:27:11,585 --> 00:27:15,107 Maybe. Lily, you have served your time 568 00:27:15,108 --> 00:27:16,809 with dignity and grace. 569 00:27:16,810 --> 00:27:17,768 You've earned the right to move on 570 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:19,383 to the next chapter of your life. 571 00:27:19,384 --> 00:27:20,726 So if anybody here has a problem with that, 572 00:27:20,727 --> 00:27:23,410 they don't get to be a part of the adventure, okay? 573 00:27:26,665 --> 00:27:27,635 Ready? 574 00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,241 Okay. 575 00:27:32,582 --> 00:27:34,327 Lily, so good to see you. 576 00:27:34,328 --> 00:27:36,236 Jamie, wow. How are you? 577 00:27:37,016 --> 00:27:38,849 You look so good. Thanks. 578 00:27:38,850 --> 00:27:39,679 I'm gonna get a drink. Okay. 579 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,642 I'll catch up with you guys after the show. 580 00:27:41,694 --> 00:27:42,634 See? 581 00:27:57,657 --> 00:27:58,632 That's her. 582 00:28:08,838 --> 00:28:11,101 Charlie! What are you doing here? 583 00:28:11,632 --> 00:28:14,273 Please don't tell my mom that I'm here. 584 00:28:15,518 --> 00:28:17,045 You can tell her yourself. 585 00:28:36,808 --> 00:28:37,901 Blair, we need to talk. 586 00:28:37,902 --> 00:28:39,355 Do you mind if I take over from here? 587 00:28:39,356 --> 00:28:40,524 Not at all. 588 00:28:40,695 --> 00:28:42,851 Well, I mind. Humphreys are not escort material. 589 00:28:42,852 --> 00:28:45,506 Let's see if we can change that stereotype. 590 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:47,908 Dorota pieced this together. 591 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,294 Apparently, she's broken quite a few things in your home 592 00:28:50,295 --> 00:28:50,935 you don't know about. 593 00:28:50,936 --> 00:28:52,403 Don't worry. She swore she didn't read it. 594 00:28:52,404 --> 00:28:54,357 What are you doing? 595 00:28:54,418 --> 00:28:56,535 Put that away. Don't you have your own life to ruin? 596 00:28:56,536 --> 00:28:58,417 Actually, uh, yeah. Yeah, I do, 597 00:28:58,418 --> 00:29:00,208 but for some reason, I'm here trying to help you. 598 00:29:00,209 --> 00:29:02,061 You can't hide from this forever. 599 00:29:02,774 --> 00:29:05,503 Why not? Apparently, fatherhood holds no appeal for Louis, 600 00:29:05,504 --> 00:29:07,072 and Chuck will always be Chuck. 601 00:29:07,073 --> 00:29:09,568 If anything, I'm not hiding. I'm facing the truth. 602 00:29:09,569 --> 00:29:11,855 It doesn't matter what test results say. 603 00:29:11,856 --> 00:29:13,226 I'm in this completely alone. 604 00:29:13,227 --> 00:29:15,094 It doesn't matter about the implications 605 00:29:15,095 --> 00:29:16,157 for Chuck or Louis. 606 00:29:16,158 --> 00:29:18,086 Don't you wanna know who the father of your child is? 607 00:29:18,087 --> 00:29:20,892 The only thing I want is to finish this fashion show 608 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,260 sans outer borough escort. 609 00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:24,471 You're right. It's your problem, so why don't you take this? 610 00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,068 This is yours as well. 611 00:29:26,217 --> 00:29:27,913 Did you not hear me? I said I don't want it. 612 00:29:27,914 --> 00:29:29,263 Well, it's not mine, so take it. 613 00:29:29,264 --> 00:29:30,200 No. 614 00:29:30,651 --> 00:29:31,642 You got it. 615 00:29:37,328 --> 00:29:38,512 Oh, B. 616 00:29:39,123 --> 00:29:41,436 Your refusal to find out who's the father 617 00:29:41,437 --> 00:29:44,742 has made you cause one mother of a scene. 618 00:29:52,022 --> 00:29:54,043 You knew if I asked Walter McCreedy about Mykonos 619 00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:56,683 it would cause a scene, but I just destroyed a marriage. 620 00:29:56,684 --> 00:29:57,852 What's going on here? 621 00:29:57,853 --> 00:29:59,802 The truth is, I'm not interested 622 00:29:59,803 --> 00:30:01,450 in interviews with New York's elite. 623 00:30:01,451 --> 00:30:03,084 I want their secrets and scandals. 624 00:30:03,085 --> 00:30:04,441 Oh, aren't you a little late to that party? 625 00:30:04,442 --> 00:30:06,130 Gossip Girl has that covered. 626 00:30:06,131 --> 00:30:07,150 For now. 627 00:30:07,262 --> 00:30:09,210 So you arranged to have everyone's phones checked 628 00:30:09,211 --> 00:30:11,487 to get at least one story that you didn't already have? 629 00:30:11,517 --> 00:30:14,097 It'll never work. When you try to use what you filmed, 630 00:30:14,098 --> 00:30:14,867 you'll be blacklisted. 631 00:30:14,868 --> 00:30:16,203 Gossip Girl doesn't create scandal. 632 00:30:16,204 --> 00:30:18,085 She just whispers about what's already out there. 633 00:30:18,086 --> 00:30:19,572 And I would have told you that if you'd bothered to tell me 634 00:30:19,573 --> 00:30:21,606 what you were doing instead of using me. 635 00:30:21,941 --> 00:30:23,299 I mean, you had everyone's phones taken. 636 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,704 Why didn't you just, you know, look at some of them? 637 00:30:29,278 --> 00:30:31,938 Nate, that's brilliant! And if we act fast, 638 00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:34,012 we can return them before anyone knows they're gone! 639 00:30:34,013 --> 00:30:34,693 Whoa, no. 640 00:30:34,694 --> 00:30:36,874 This is a one-stop shop of illicit e-mails, 641 00:30:36,875 --> 00:30:38,876 incriminating photos, and sex. 642 00:30:38,877 --> 00:30:40,378 Are you sure you didn't work for news corp? 643 00:30:40,379 --> 00:30:41,445 Diana, just... 644 00:30:41,446 --> 00:30:43,912 This is your idea, and it's a good one. 645 00:30:43,913 --> 00:30:45,201 Don't doubt yourself. 646 00:30:45,202 --> 00:30:46,278 It's not--I just think that, you know, 647 00:30:46,279 --> 00:30:48,451 maybe you should dip your toe into illegal activities 648 00:30:48,452 --> 00:30:51,264 before you, you know, just dive right into it. 649 00:30:51,265 --> 00:30:53,478 If you want any real success, Nate, 650 00:30:53,530 --> 00:30:55,606 you need to take a risk once in a while. 651 00:30:55,607 --> 00:30:58,060 You can stay and help me rebuild "The Spectator," 652 00:30:58,061 --> 00:31:00,072 or you can go home and call your mum. 653 00:31:02,495 --> 00:31:03,560 I'm sure there's still a position 654 00:31:03,561 --> 00:31:05,553 in a senator's office somewhere. 655 00:31:08,447 --> 00:31:10,582 All right, meet me back at the office in 20 minutes, 656 00:31:10,583 --> 00:31:11,889 not a minute later. 657 00:31:36,426 --> 00:31:39,105 I can't believe you thought you would get away with this. 658 00:31:40,278 --> 00:31:41,405 You don't understand. 659 00:31:41,406 --> 00:31:43,822 Did you honestly think I wouldn't come looking for you 660 00:31:43,823 --> 00:31:45,628 when you wrote that check? 661 00:31:46,409 --> 00:31:48,022 Well, get changed. I'm gonna tell Lily we're leaving. 662 00:31:48,023 --> 00:31:51,033 It's time for you to go back to your real life 663 00:31:51,046 --> 00:31:52,866 like you should have months ago. 664 00:31:53,364 --> 00:31:54,524 Actually... 665 00:31:55,711 --> 00:31:57,365 I think I wanna stay. 666 00:31:57,450 --> 00:32:00,179 It's not up to you, Ivy. 667 00:32:00,755 --> 00:32:03,260 Yeah, it kind of is. 668 00:32:04,234 --> 00:32:05,908 What are you gonna do about it? 669 00:32:05,946 --> 00:32:06,932 Call the police? 670 00:32:06,933 --> 00:32:09,605 I'd be happy to tell 'em the whole story 671 00:32:09,776 --> 00:32:12,802 about how you hired a struggling actress 672 00:32:12,803 --> 00:32:14,686 to pretend to be your daughter 673 00:32:14,687 --> 00:32:18,414 so that she could gain access to your real daughter's trust fund 674 00:32:18,831 --> 00:32:21,866 just so you could take the money for yourself? 675 00:32:23,869 --> 00:32:26,701 I think the authorities would have a problem with that, 676 00:32:27,361 --> 00:32:28,864 and your family would, too. 677 00:32:28,865 --> 00:32:30,088 You wouldn't. 678 00:32:30,424 --> 00:32:33,195 I came from nothing. 679 00:32:34,146 --> 00:32:36,453 Everything here sparkles. 680 00:32:37,339 --> 00:32:40,325 And that family that you can't stand 681 00:32:40,357 --> 00:32:44,279 has been kinder to me than my own family ever was. 682 00:32:45,076 --> 00:32:47,038 I'm not walking away from that. 683 00:32:47,713 --> 00:32:50,265 And if you try to take me down, Carol, 684 00:32:50,553 --> 00:32:52,138 you're coming with me. 685 00:32:58,818 --> 00:33:00,532 Blair, I'm sorry. 686 00:33:01,442 --> 00:33:03,278 I was totally out of line. 687 00:33:03,469 --> 00:33:04,681 Truth is I think I've been using you to avoid 688 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,544 facing some problems of my own. 689 00:33:06,591 --> 00:33:09,039 I promised to hold your hand, but maybe I've been forcing it. 690 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,994 No. I turned to you, Dan, 691 00:33:12,510 --> 00:33:13,811 because I knew you were the only one 692 00:33:13,812 --> 00:33:15,979 who'd protect me from my own worst instincts. 693 00:33:15,980 --> 00:33:16,885 For what it's worth, 694 00:33:16,886 --> 00:33:18,574 when Georgina showed up on my doorstep 695 00:33:18,575 --> 00:33:21,395 and told me she was pregnant, I mean, the last thing 696 00:33:21,396 --> 00:33:25,012 I wanted to be was a father, but then milo was born, 697 00:33:25,013 --> 00:33:27,581 and I fell in love with him. 698 00:33:29,904 --> 00:33:33,013 Chuck or Louis--it'll be the same for either of them. 699 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:35,118 And if I open that envelope... 700 00:33:36,907 --> 00:33:39,173 Will you be able to hide from your problems then? 701 00:33:40,067 --> 00:33:42,154 I think if you have the courage to face your future, 702 00:33:42,155 --> 00:33:44,568 then I should have the courage to face mine. 703 00:33:54,167 --> 00:33:56,362 There once was a Princess B., 704 00:33:56,493 --> 00:34:00,035 undone by the question "Who's the daddy?" 705 00:34:00,036 --> 00:34:01,944 But it's time to find out-- 706 00:34:02,211 --> 00:34:03,607 Will it be Chuck, 707 00:34:03,898 --> 00:34:05,849 or will it be Louis? 708 00:34:23,488 --> 00:34:24,948 I need to talk to you. 709 00:34:25,018 --> 00:34:26,805 I thought we said everything we needed to say 710 00:34:26,806 --> 00:34:28,562 last time we saw each other. 711 00:34:29,992 --> 00:34:31,107 Chuck... 712 00:34:32,530 --> 00:34:34,689 Is this another misguided attempt by Dan 713 00:34:34,690 --> 00:34:36,479 to get me to feel something? 714 00:34:37,225 --> 00:34:38,555 I'm pregnant. 715 00:34:43,328 --> 00:34:44,994 It's Louis'. 716 00:34:47,924 --> 00:34:48,893 I... 717 00:34:51,446 --> 00:34:54,011 I didn't want you to find out from someone else 718 00:34:54,012 --> 00:34:56,976 and wonder if the baby was yours. 719 00:34:56,977 --> 00:34:58,786 That's very considerate. 720 00:34:59,063 --> 00:35:00,614 Yes, well... 721 00:35:04,015 --> 00:35:05,511 If I know anything about Chuck Bass, 722 00:35:05,512 --> 00:35:07,748 it's that fatherhood isn't part of the lifestyle. 723 00:35:07,749 --> 00:35:09,164 You must have been very relieved 724 00:35:09,165 --> 00:35:12,280 when you realized you weren't carrying my offspring. 725 00:35:13,209 --> 00:35:15,793 That certainly would have derailed your fairy tale. 726 00:35:15,904 --> 00:35:19,355 This fairy tale is... complicated. 727 00:35:26,149 --> 00:35:28,743 Blair, meet my dog, Monkey. 728 00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:34,024 But... I saw "Gossip Girl." I thought you got rid of him. 729 00:35:34,025 --> 00:35:35,646 I just sent him to get fixed. 730 00:35:35,647 --> 00:35:38,100 I thought it was the responsible thing to do. 731 00:35:41,293 --> 00:35:42,171 I should go. 732 00:35:42,172 --> 00:35:43,193 Yes. 733 00:35:43,356 --> 00:35:44,753 Louis is waiting for me. 734 00:35:44,754 --> 00:35:45,919 Of course. 735 00:35:48,218 --> 00:35:51,246 There is a part of me that really wanted it to be yours. 736 00:36:09,495 --> 00:36:11,696 It's impossible, you know. He's got to say to himself, 737 00:36:11,697 --> 00:36:14,219 "I'm a writer! I'm a writer!" 738 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,018 He can hook up with a rookie. All those people 739 00:36:16,019 --> 00:36:19,104 were just drinking themselves into the grave, you know? 740 00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:20,588 Noah. 741 00:36:21,540 --> 00:36:23,306 Hey, uh, I need to talk to you. 742 00:36:23,307 --> 00:36:26,257 Everyone, this is Dan Humphrey. 743 00:36:26,258 --> 00:36:28,114 He was my inspiration 744 00:36:28,115 --> 00:36:30,396 for the character of Dylan hunter. 745 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:31,869 Isn't that right, Daniel? 746 00:36:34,511 --> 00:36:35,508 No. 747 00:36:38,323 --> 00:36:40,608 You didn't write this book. I did. 748 00:36:43,577 --> 00:36:44,781 Bravo! 749 00:36:44,782 --> 00:36:46,445 He did it! 750 00:36:47,256 --> 00:36:49,540 I told you I'd get him to step forward. 751 00:36:49,748 --> 00:36:51,870 I'm sorry. Did you-- did you do this on purpose? 752 00:36:51,871 --> 00:36:54,302 Destiny is a scary thing to face. 753 00:36:54,303 --> 00:36:56,359 We all need a little push. 754 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,841 You deserve to see what comes of it yourself, 755 00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:03,182 and you will. This is elise and mark from s&s. 756 00:37:03,183 --> 00:37:05,609 This is Jonathan Karp, your editor. 757 00:37:05,610 --> 00:37:08,483 You already know Alessandra. Sit. Join us. 758 00:37:08,484 --> 00:37:10,360 We've got a lot to talk about. 759 00:37:21,238 --> 00:37:23,966 To my beautiful wife, her freedom, 760 00:37:24,745 --> 00:37:27,262 and the end of the ankle bracelet. 761 00:37:27,263 --> 00:37:29,942 Oh, and to the return of my Alaia dresses. 762 00:37:29,943 --> 00:37:33,241 How about we toast to second chances, 763 00:37:33,331 --> 00:37:34,974 for Lily and me? 764 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:38,103 And, mom, thank you for understanding 765 00:37:38,104 --> 00:37:40,147 that this is where I'm meant to be. 766 00:37:40,342 --> 00:37:41,620 Cheers. 767 00:37:42,854 --> 00:37:43,971 Cheers. 768 00:37:46,282 --> 00:37:48,595 You know, Charlie, Serena's room is empty, 769 00:37:48,596 --> 00:37:51,069 and you are welcome to stay here. 770 00:37:51,070 --> 00:37:52,064 We'd love to have you. 771 00:37:52,065 --> 00:37:54,492 No, no, no. That-- that would be an imposition. 772 00:37:54,493 --> 00:37:56,984 No, really. Eric has only been gone a few days, 773 00:37:56,985 --> 00:37:58,030 and Rufus and I are already 774 00:37:58,031 --> 00:37:59,316 going through empty nest syndrome. 775 00:37:59,317 --> 00:38:02,062 Yeah, making breakfast for two feels so wrong. 776 00:38:04,190 --> 00:38:05,337 I would love to. 777 00:38:05,338 --> 00:38:07,956 Being around family would mean a lot to me. 778 00:38:07,957 --> 00:38:09,057 Great. 779 00:38:11,245 --> 00:38:12,837 Okay, well, um... 780 00:38:13,006 --> 00:38:15,211 I'm gonna go crash in the guest room. 781 00:38:15,212 --> 00:38:16,766 I have an early flight. 782 00:38:17,208 --> 00:38:19,482 What are you talking about? It's only 9:00. 783 00:38:19,483 --> 00:38:20,305 You should go out. 784 00:38:20,306 --> 00:38:21,849 We could all go out. 785 00:38:21,850 --> 00:38:23,396 Maybe--maybe another time. 786 00:38:23,397 --> 00:38:26,238 I'm sure I'll be back again soon anyway. 787 00:38:27,198 --> 00:38:28,445 Hey. So... 788 00:38:30,986 --> 00:38:32,445 I'm gonna make sure that Cece 789 00:38:32,446 --> 00:38:35,339 reinstates your access to my trust. 790 00:38:35,935 --> 00:38:39,622 You are on your own now. Good luck. 791 00:39:02,244 --> 00:39:05,873 The true author of a tell-all tome has been revealed, 792 00:39:05,874 --> 00:39:09,747 and the author's name is one everyone will recognize, 793 00:39:09,748 --> 00:39:10,956 but the question is, 794 00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:12,874 will anyone want to say it again 795 00:39:12,875 --> 00:39:14,607 once the book is out? 796 00:39:20,651 --> 00:39:21,876 You're pregnant. 797 00:39:25,145 --> 00:39:26,256 You're pregnant. 798 00:39:26,257 --> 00:39:29,480 Oh, you're happy. 799 00:39:30,770 --> 00:39:33,627 But... your "Hello!" magazine interview-- 800 00:39:33,628 --> 00:39:34,616 I heard your answers. 801 00:39:34,617 --> 00:39:37,258 I-I just said those things to protect you. 802 00:39:37,278 --> 00:39:39,934 I knew if I even hinted at wanting children, 803 00:39:39,997 --> 00:39:42,038 you would be under constant baby watch. 804 00:39:42,039 --> 00:39:43,956 The press would never leave you alone. 805 00:39:44,639 --> 00:39:46,160 You did that for me? 806 00:39:47,738 --> 00:39:49,365 You really are a prince. 807 00:39:49,366 --> 00:39:51,398 A very happy prince. 808 00:39:52,112 --> 00:39:54,413 The truth is, I can't wait to be a father. 809 00:39:54,414 --> 00:39:56,367 And now I'm going to be one. 810 00:39:56,489 --> 00:39:58,792 Let's go celebrate. Where would you like to go? 811 00:39:58,793 --> 00:40:02,918 Oh, someplace with souffles. My morning sickness is gone. 812 00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:05,076 I know a place. 813 00:40:06,885 --> 00:40:11,098 They closed an hour ago, but they'll reopen for us. 814 00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:18,357 91 ready. 815 00:40:18,358 --> 00:40:22,079 Face your fears, and the rewards can be profound. 816 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,561 You could discover the true depth of a relationship. 817 00:40:31,311 --> 00:40:34,316 Or what you're capable of withstanding. 818 00:40:52,746 --> 00:40:54,489 I'm so happy you're here. 819 00:40:54,490 --> 00:40:56,217 You know, I don't think I realized 820 00:40:56,218 --> 00:40:59,749 until I saw you in L.A. how much I needed family around 821 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:03,127 or how much you needed me to help you shop. 822 00:41:04,371 --> 00:41:05,949 What are you looking for over there? 823 00:41:06,445 --> 00:41:07,682 My phone. 824 00:41:08,167 --> 00:41:09,678 I think I left it at the fashion show 825 00:41:09,679 --> 00:41:11,671 when the assistant checked it in. 826 00:41:12,247 --> 00:41:13,870 I totally forgot. 827 00:41:13,871 --> 00:41:14,877 Well, I'm sure they still have it. 828 00:41:14,878 --> 00:41:16,785 We'll call in the morning and find out. 829 00:41:19,126 --> 00:41:21,758 The problem is, the more you gain... 830 00:41:23,937 --> 00:41:26,330 People trust their phones way too much. 831 00:41:26,331 --> 00:41:28,277 The more you stand to lose. 832 00:41:28,278 --> 00:41:30,446 There's just this, uh, one phone that didn't have a tag on it, 833 00:41:30,447 --> 00:41:32,001 so I didn't put it back. 834 00:41:32,102 --> 00:41:34,788 You know whose it is? Maybe someone at coat check? 835 00:41:37,894 --> 00:41:39,911 Do you know someone called Ivy? 836 00:41:41,152 --> 00:41:43,856 Get ready to find out what you're made of, 837 00:41:43,893 --> 00:41:46,548 because to survive on the Upper East Side, 838 00:41:46,549 --> 00:41:48,578 you better be fearless. 839 00:41:48,811 --> 00:41:51,464 X.O.X.O. Gossip Girl.