1
00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:09,231
It's from
Game of Thrones.
2
00:00:09,545 --> 00:00:10,777
What do you think?
3
00:00:10,779 --> 00:00:12,680
I don't know.
4
00:00:12,682 --> 00:00:15,416
If we're going to start
a fantasy sword collection--
5
00:00:15,418 --> 00:00:18,419
and I've long thought
we should--
6
00:00:18,421 --> 00:00:20,620
is this really
the sword to start with?
7
00:00:20,622 --> 00:00:22,339
What did you
have in mind?
8
00:00:22,341 --> 00:00:26,677
Well, off the top of my head,
I'd have to go with Excalibur.
9
00:00:26,679 --> 00:00:29,463
It gives you the right
to rule England.
10
00:00:29,465 --> 00:00:32,266
It would be a replica
of a movie prop.
11
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,435
Fair enough.
12
00:00:34,437 --> 00:00:37,855
It'd give you the right to rule
a replica of England.
13
00:00:37,857 --> 00:00:40,157
Well, they don't have
an Excalibur here,
14
00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:41,859
so what do you want to do?
15
00:00:41,861 --> 00:00:44,545
Mm. Tough decision.
16
00:00:44,547 --> 00:00:47,164
There's no weaponry from
Lord of the Rings
17
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:50,650
forged in a Chinese sweatshop?
18
00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:53,754
Just Bilbo Baggins' sword
over there.
19
00:00:53,756 --> 00:00:58,342
Two grown men with a hobbit's
dagger; wouldn't we look silly?
20
00:01:00,211 --> 00:01:01,495
Okay, let's go for it.
21
00:01:01,497 --> 00:01:03,514
Oh, I see
you guys have
22
00:01:03,516 --> 00:01:04,615
found my little treasure.
23
00:01:04,617 --> 00:01:06,383
Yeah.
24
00:01:06,385 --> 00:01:07,718
It's okay, I guess.
25
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,336
Okay? It's magnificent.
26
00:01:09,338 --> 00:01:11,105
Buh-buh-buh-buh!
27
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:14,508
What do you want for it?
28
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,777
Oh, it's hard to put
a price on something
29
00:01:16,779 --> 00:01:19,430
that's a copy of something
that was on pay cable.
30
00:01:20,398 --> 00:01:22,816
But for my friends,
let's say 250?
31
00:01:22,818 --> 00:01:25,069
Oh, that's pretty steep.
32
00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:26,136
Well, it's a limited edition.
33
00:01:26,138 --> 00:01:29,373
They only made 8,000
of these bad boys.
34
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:30,824
Only 8,000?
35
00:01:30,826 --> 00:01:32,960
We're wasting precious time.
Buy it.
36
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,795
Hang on.
37
00:01:34,797 --> 00:01:36,863
Can you do any better?
38
00:01:36,865 --> 00:01:38,165
Are you kidding?
39
00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:39,917
I'm already giving you
the friends and family discount.
40
00:01:39,919 --> 00:01:41,051
Oh, did you hear that?
41
00:01:41,053 --> 00:01:42,553
We're getting the friends
and family discount.
42
00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:44,988
We are honored
and we will take it.
43
00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:46,206
Slow down.
44
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:47,508
Two hundred.
45
00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:48,509
What are you doing?
46
00:01:48,511 --> 00:01:50,260
250 is already the
discounted price.
47
00:01:50,262 --> 00:01:52,179
Will you shut up?
48
00:01:52,181 --> 00:01:53,347
Tell you what, I'll go 235.
49
00:01:53,349 --> 00:01:54,765
Nope. Maybe another time.
50
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,667
Okay, 225-- my final offer.
51
00:01:56,669 --> 00:01:59,353
Take it, take it.
52
00:01:59,355 --> 00:02:01,188
Two hundred.
53
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,940
Man, you're killing me!
54
00:02:02,942 --> 00:02:05,325
Killing you?
I can't breathe.
55
00:02:05,994 --> 00:02:08,428
210, and I'm losing money.
56
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:11,281
Oh, now, we can't let him lose
money, Leonard. I'm so sorry.
57
00:02:11,283 --> 00:02:14,451
210 and you throw in
the Iron Man helmet.
58
00:02:14,453 --> 00:02:15,619
Are you crazy?
59
00:02:15,621 --> 00:02:17,254
That helmet's signed
by Robert Downey Jr.
60
00:02:17,256 --> 00:02:18,455
So?
61
00:02:18,457 --> 00:02:20,240
Okay, if you're
going to question
62
00:02:20,242 --> 00:02:22,810
the importance of an actor's
signature on a plastic helmet
63
00:02:22,812 --> 00:02:24,711
from a movie
based on a comic book,
64
00:02:24,713 --> 00:02:28,448
then all of our lives
have no meaning!
65
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:33,020
Okay, fine.
66
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,354
Just the sword, 210.
67
00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:35,923
Thank you.
68
00:02:35,925 --> 00:02:37,391
I can eat meat this week.
69
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,310
See that?
70
00:02:40,312 --> 00:02:41,612
I just saved us 40 bucks.
71
00:02:41,614 --> 00:02:43,947
I've long said, what you
lack in academic knowledge
72
00:02:43,949 --> 00:02:46,650
you make up for
in street smarts.
73
00:02:46,652 --> 00:02:47,767
You want me to wrap it?
74
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:48,768
No, it's okay.
75
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:50,621
I'm gonna stab my friend
in the chest.
76
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,657
Hey, Stuart.
77
00:02:53,659 --> 00:02:54,725
Ah, hey, Wil.
78
00:02:54,727 --> 00:02:58,045
Hello, Wil Wheaton.
79
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,963
Hi, Sheldon.
80
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:00,998
Nice sword.
81
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,000
It's part of
my sword collection.
82
00:03:03,002 --> 00:03:05,419
- Do you have a sword collection?
- No.
83
00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:08,338
I'm not surprised.
84
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,807
Here's the
Batman 612
85
00:03:10,809 --> 00:03:13,310
with the Jim Lee alternate
cover that you wanted.
86
00:03:13,312 --> 00:03:15,179
Awesome. What do I owe you?
87
00:03:15,181 --> 00:03:15,979
40 bucks.
88
00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:17,014
Good deal.
89
00:03:17,016 --> 00:03:18,315
Sucker.
90
00:03:18,317 --> 00:03:20,851
Didn't even ask for the
friends and family discount.
91
00:03:20,853 --> 00:03:22,653
Hey, I'm having a party
at my house on Friday,
92
00:03:22,655 --> 00:03:24,137
and I was hoping
you would stop by.
93
00:03:24,139 --> 00:03:25,405
Will there be
girls there?
94
00:03:25,407 --> 00:03:26,356
Yeah, of course.
95
00:03:26,358 --> 00:03:29,693
'Cause there
wasn't last time.
96
00:03:29,695 --> 00:03:32,663
There will be girls.
97
00:03:32,665 --> 00:03:35,365
You guys are invited
if you want to come by.
98
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:36,983
Thank you.
99
00:03:36,985 --> 00:03:37,984
All right, great.
100
00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:39,503
Later.
101
00:03:41,372 --> 00:03:43,156
I see what you're doing.
102
00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:44,841
You accept
an invitation
103
00:03:44,843 --> 00:03:47,060
to a party at the home
of my sworn enemy,
104
00:03:47,062 --> 00:03:48,795
he tells everyone we're
going to be there,
105
00:03:48,797 --> 00:03:50,664
and when we don't show,
he looks the fool.
106
00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:52,049
Fiendishly clever.
107
00:03:53,551 --> 00:03:55,219
I was actually
thinking about going.
108
00:03:55,221 --> 00:03:58,438
And then declaring
the party a fiasco
109
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,274
and storming out,
leaving him humiliated
110
00:04:00,276 --> 00:04:01,692
in front of his guests.
111
00:04:01,694 --> 00:04:03,660
Love it.
112
00:04:03,662 --> 00:04:07,598
No, I was gonna grab Raj and
Howard and have a good time.
113
00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,484
Oh, great, more guys.
114
00:04:10,486 --> 00:04:13,954
It's gonna be another
Wil Wheaton sausage-fest.
115
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:18,625
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
116
00:04:18,627 --> 00:04:21,962
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
117
00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:23,580
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
118
00:04:23,582 --> 00:04:26,116
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
119
00:04:26,118 --> 00:04:28,802
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
120
00:04:28,804 --> 00:04:31,455
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
121
00:04:31,457 --> 00:04:33,373
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
122
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:34,525
♪ Bang! ♪
123
00:04:34,526 --> 00:04:37,026
The Big Bang Theory 5x05
The Russian Rocket Reaction
Original Air Date on October 13, 2011
124
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,652
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
125
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:44,466
Sheldon, can you
grab me a water?
126
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:46,049
Possibly.
127
00:04:46,051 --> 00:04:47,660
Can you or can't you?
128
00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:49,294
It's not that simple, Leonard.
129
00:04:49,296 --> 00:04:51,880
It never is, is it?
130
00:04:51,882 --> 00:04:53,048
At this moment,
131
00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:55,167
our relationship exists
132
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,336
in two mutually
contradictory states.
133
00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:01,757
Until you either do not go
or go to Wil Wheaton's party,
134
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:05,177
you are simultaneously my friend
and not my friend.
135
00:05:06,646 --> 00:05:08,263
I'm characterizing
this phenomenon
136
00:05:08,265 --> 00:05:11,400
as Schrodinger's Friendship.
137
00:05:11,402 --> 00:05:14,236
Got it. Can I have my water?
138
00:05:14,238 --> 00:05:15,521
Of course.
139
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,806
Now get it yourself,
you traitor.
140
00:05:19,642 --> 00:05:22,861
Wait, what is going on?
141
00:05:22,863 --> 00:05:24,246
In case you have forgotten,
142
00:05:24,248 --> 00:05:25,814
Schrodinger's cat is
a thought experiment...
143
00:05:25,816 --> 00:05:27,315
No, no, I didn't forget.
144
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:30,252
Um, there's this cat in a box
and until you open it,
145
00:05:30,254 --> 00:05:32,087
it's either
dead or alive or both.
146
00:05:33,006 --> 00:05:34,673
Although, back in Nebraska,
our cat got stuck
147
00:05:34,675 --> 00:05:37,342
in my brother's camp trunk,
and we did not need to open it
148
00:05:37,344 --> 00:05:39,962
to know there was all kinds
of dead cat in there.
149
00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,998
Homespun stories,
knowledge of physics
150
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,349
and a bosom that defies it.
151
00:05:44,351 --> 00:05:46,301
You're the whole package,
aren't you?
152
00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:50,139
Sorry I'm late.
153
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,940
Uh, I got great news.
154
00:05:51,942 --> 00:05:54,059
NASA picked my team's design
155
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:56,678
for the deep field
space telescope that's going on
156
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,397
the International Space Station
this spring.
157
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:01,834
Howie, that's wonderful!
158
00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:02,835
Congratulations!
159
00:06:02,837 --> 00:06:04,036
It gets better.
160
00:06:04,038 --> 00:06:06,205
Someone has to go up
with the telescope
161
00:06:06,207 --> 00:06:10,959
as a payload specialist,
and guess who that someone is.
162
00:06:10,961 --> 00:06:13,562
Muhammad Li.
163
00:06:14,363 --> 00:06:16,698
Who's Muhammad Li?
164
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:19,501
Muhammad is the most common
first name in the world,
165
00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,136
Li, the most common surname.
166
00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:22,638
As I didn't know the answer,
167
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,973
I thought that gave me
a mathematical edge.
168
00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:27,209
It's me, Sheldon.
169
00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:28,110
It's me.
170
00:06:28,112 --> 00:06:29,544
I'm going up in space!
171
00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:31,713
Technically, I'm an astronaut.
172
00:06:31,715 --> 00:06:33,599
That's amazing!
173
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,217
Hang on a second.
174
00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:37,102
NASA doesn't have
a shuttle anymore.
175
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:39,054
How are you going
to get up there?
176
00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:40,189
Oh, well, it's really cool.
177
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,241
You fly to Moscow,
they take you out to Kazakhstan,
178
00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:45,077
and then you get into a Russian
Soyuz rocket which shoots you
179
00:06:45,079 --> 00:06:46,411
into a low earth orbit.
180
00:06:46,413 --> 00:06:49,031
Or just sits there on the launch
pad because the Kazakhi mafia
181
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,116
sold the rocket fuel
on the black market.
182
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,370
Are those Russian rockets safe?
183
00:06:55,372 --> 00:06:57,789
Well, I mean, safe as it
can be when it was built
184
00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,958
by the good folks who
brought you Chernobyl.
185
00:07:01,845 --> 00:07:04,246
I'd like to propose a toast.
186
00:07:04,248 --> 00:07:06,915
The dream to go up into space
is one we all share,
187
00:07:06,917 --> 00:07:09,184
and Howard's making that
a reality.
188
00:07:09,186 --> 00:07:10,636
We're all very proud of you.
189
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,104
Cheers.
190
00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:14,806
That was a lovely toast.
191
00:07:14,808 --> 00:07:16,108
Kudos.
Thank you.
192
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:18,060
Simultaneously, a festival
of cloying clichés.
193
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,112
You sicken me.
194
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,288
You're really quiet.
195
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:30,939
Is everything okay?
196
00:07:30,941 --> 00:07:32,991
Fine.
197
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:37,713
Just a little tired.
198
00:07:37,715 --> 00:07:39,948
I hope not too tired,
because I'm feeling
199
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:42,284
particularly masculine
right now.
200
00:07:43,503 --> 00:07:46,454
All systems go,
if you catch my drift.
201
00:07:46,456 --> 00:07:50,058
I always catch your drift.
202
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,895
All right, well, something's
obviously bugging you.
203
00:07:52,897 --> 00:07:54,096
What is it?
204
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,148
I just can't believe
you signed up
205
00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,400
for the space program
without even talking to me.
206
00:07:58,402 --> 00:08:01,436
Oh, I get it.
207
00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,739
You're worried about me.
208
00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:05,524
That is so sweet.
209
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:11,079
You know, there's a saying
we have at NASA.
210
00:08:13,249 --> 00:08:16,318
What makes
the right stuff so right
211
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,371
is that it always comes home.
212
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:23,175
Just stop talking, Howard.
213
00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:26,595
This isn't the reaction
I expected
214
00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:28,997
when I told you
I was gonna be an astronaut.
215
00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:31,383
What did you think
was going to happen?
216
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,552
Honestly? Sex.
217
00:08:35,388 --> 00:08:37,005
Howard.
218
00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:39,024
Do you realize
what a big deal this is?
219
00:08:39,026 --> 00:08:42,778
What an honor it is to be
chosen to go into space?
220
00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:44,179
Yeah, I get it.
221
00:08:44,181 --> 00:08:46,481
I just wish you included me
in the decision.
222
00:08:46,483 --> 00:08:48,516
We're supposed
to be partners.
223
00:08:48,518 --> 00:08:50,452
We're supposed
to be a team.
224
00:08:52,322 --> 00:08:54,239
I'm sorry. You're right.
225
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:57,793
Okay, let's try this again.
226
00:08:57,795 --> 00:09:01,463
Bernadette, an opportunity
has come up
227
00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:06,418
that impacts both of us,
and I'd like to discuss it.
228
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,704
Okay.
229
00:09:09,706 --> 00:09:12,207
I've been offered
a chance to go up
230
00:09:12,209 --> 00:09:16,211
to the International
Space Station for three weeks.
231
00:09:16,213 --> 00:09:18,063
What are your thoughts on that?
232
00:09:18,065 --> 00:09:21,149
Well, first of all, thank you
233
00:09:21,151 --> 00:09:24,019
for including me
in the decision-making process.
234
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,405
Hey, we're a team.
235
00:09:27,408 --> 00:09:28,940
So, what do you think?
236
00:09:28,942 --> 00:09:30,742
No.
237
00:09:31,577 --> 00:09:32,828
No?
238
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:34,613
No.
239
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,833
Why not?
240
00:09:39,585 --> 00:09:42,754
Howard, my father
was a police officer.
241
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,906
We never knew
from one night to the next
242
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,842
if he was going
to come home alive.
243
00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:48,260
It was horrible.
244
00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:51,346
And I don't want to live
that way with you.
245
00:09:53,966 --> 00:10:00,272
Hey, my father abandoned me
and my mother when I was 11.
246
00:10:00,274 --> 00:10:02,524
We never saw him again.
247
00:10:02,526 --> 00:10:04,926
Oh, boo-hoo,
you're not going to space!
248
00:10:09,765 --> 00:10:12,734
Pretty cool about
Howard, huh?
249
00:10:12,736 --> 00:10:14,870
Don't talk to me as if
nothing's happened between us.
250
00:10:14,872 --> 00:10:16,288
And yes, it sure is, buddy.
251
00:10:19,242 --> 00:10:21,827
For God's sake, will you stop
with the Schroer stuff.
252
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:24,046
Would you prefer
a simpler application
253
00:10:24,048 --> 00:10:25,497
of Heisenberg's
uncertainty principle,
254
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,548
in which I could either
255
00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:28,800
know where you are
or whether I like you,
256
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,452
but not both?
257
00:10:30,454 --> 00:10:33,655
You never stop
talking, do you?
258
00:10:35,124 --> 00:10:36,808
I don't understand.
259
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,926
What differences
does it make
260
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,461
if Leonard goes to
Wil Wheaton's party?
261
00:10:39,463 --> 00:10:41,847
Wil Wheaton is
Sheldon's mortal enemy.
262
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,014
Mortal enemy?
263
00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:44,816
Mm-hmm.
Sheldon, I know you're a bit
264
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,351
of a left-handed
monkey wrench, but...
265
00:10:46,353 --> 00:10:50,138
you really have a mortal enemy?
266
00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:52,491
In fact, I have 61 of them.
267
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:55,277
Would you like to see the list?
268
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,245
Oh, say no, say no,
say no, say no.
269
00:10:57,247 --> 00:10:59,014
You just got off the list.
270
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,916
Would you like back on it?
271
00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:04,152
This'll just take a moment.
272
00:11:04,154 --> 00:11:07,422
It's on a five and a
quarter inch floppy.
273
00:11:13,463 --> 00:11:14,679
A floppy disk?
274
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:18,266
Well, I started the
list when I was nine.
275
00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:20,502
How did Wil Wheaton
get on the list?
276
00:11:20,504 --> 00:11:22,020
- Oh! Oh, God!
- Oh! Come on!
277
00:11:22,022 --> 00:11:25,357
As a child,
I loved Wesley Crusher,
278
00:11:25,359 --> 00:11:27,442
Wil Wheaton's character
on Star Trek.
279
00:11:27,444 --> 00:11:31,179
So, I drove for hours
by bus to a Star Trek convention
280
00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:33,281
at which Wil Wheaton
was scheduled to appear,
281
00:11:33,283 --> 00:11:36,184
so that I could get my Wesley
Crusher action figure signed.
282
00:11:36,186 --> 00:11:38,120
But he never
showed, because
283
00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:40,238
apparently,
it was cooler for him
284
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,341
to be the lower-left corner
on Hollywood Squares.
285
00:11:45,628 --> 00:11:46,711
Oh, damn!
286
00:11:46,713 --> 00:11:48,230
The floppy failed.
287
00:11:48,232 --> 00:11:49,331
Well,
288
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,366
whoever was in charge
of quality control
289
00:11:51,368 --> 00:11:53,752
at the Verbatim Corporation
in 1989,
290
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,972
congratulations,
you just made the list.
291
00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:02,410
Howard?
292
00:12:02,412 --> 00:12:04,596
Change your
mind about sex?
293
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:08,383
I'm still mad,
but I'll do it.
294
00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:10,886
No, I've just
been thinking.
295
00:12:12,155 --> 00:12:14,556
It doesn't matter
if I'm afraid for your safety.
296
00:12:14,558 --> 00:12:16,391
I don't want
to be the person
297
00:12:16,393 --> 00:12:18,410
who stands between you
and your dreams.
298
00:12:18,412 --> 00:12:19,861
Really?
299
00:12:19,863 --> 00:12:21,279
Really.
300
00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:23,415
If going into space means
that much to you,
301
00:12:23,417 --> 00:12:25,283
I will never say
another word about it.
302
00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:26,868
Thank you.
303
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,420
I love you.
304
00:12:28,422 --> 00:12:30,405
I love you, too.
305
00:12:33,676 --> 00:12:35,627
So, sex now?
306
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,262
Okay.
307
00:12:37,264 --> 00:12:39,130
I just forgot
to brush my teeth.
308
00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,299
I'll be right back.
309
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:50,758
♪ Oh, baby ♪
310
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:59,568
♪ I'm ♪
311
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,037
♪ I'm not in love with you... ♪
312
00:13:02,039 --> 00:13:06,291
Over my dead body
my son goes into outer space!
313
00:13:09,662 --> 00:13:12,163
I'm ready.
314
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,517
Wait, let me see
if I got this right.
315
00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:20,718
You actually asked Bernadette
316
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,403
to leave your house
in the middle of the night?
317
00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:23,804
What choice did I have?
318
00:13:23,806 --> 00:13:25,188
She went behind my back
319
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:27,208
and turned my own mother
against me.
320
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:29,877
Wow. You're not only
our first astronaut.
321
00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:33,130
You're also the first one
of us to kick a girl out of bed.
322
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:37,551
You're like a rock star.
323
00:13:37,553 --> 00:13:39,870
Little bit.
324
00:13:39,872 --> 00:13:42,973
I hate to say it,
but she did kind of betray you.
325
00:13:42,975 --> 00:13:44,642
Interesting.
326
00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:48,679
You see betrayal in others,
but not yourself.
327
00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:53,017
Going to Wheaton's party
is not betraying you.
328
00:13:53,019 --> 00:13:55,352
Oh, of course you would have
to believe that.
329
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:57,438
Evil always thinks
it's doing right.
330
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,890
"Excuse me, Stormtrooper.
331
00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:02,192
These are the droids
you're looking for."
332
00:14:03,111 --> 00:14:05,663
I'm going to a party.
333
00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:10,301
I'm not turning R2-D2 and C-3PO
over to the empire!
334
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,088
Not yet.
335
00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:16,440
So, what's gonna happen next?
336
00:14:16,442 --> 00:14:18,408
Are you and Bernadette going
to break up?
337
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:19,510
I don't know.
338
00:14:19,512 --> 00:14:21,211
If we're going
to get back together,
339
00:14:21,213 --> 00:14:23,130
she's going to have
to apologize and accept
340
00:14:23,132 --> 00:14:26,517
that I'm a grown man
who can make his own decisions.
341
00:14:26,519 --> 00:14:28,102
Then she's going to have
to convince your mother
342
00:14:28,104 --> 00:14:29,270
to let you go into space.
343
00:14:29,272 --> 00:14:30,921
Obviously.
344
00:14:33,341 --> 00:14:35,309
I had no choice.
345
00:14:35,311 --> 00:14:37,144
I had to tell
his mother.
346
00:14:37,146 --> 00:14:39,396
He can't go to space.
347
00:14:39,398 --> 00:14:43,784
He's like a baby bird.
348
00:14:43,786 --> 00:14:46,487
Do you know
he once got an asthma attack
349
00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:49,790
from reading an old library
book?
350
00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:51,542
You're kidding.
351
00:14:51,544 --> 00:14:53,544
No, I was there that day.
352
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:56,714
Sheldon threw his back out
handing him that book.
353
00:14:58,249 --> 00:15:00,217
I don't know
what I'm going to do.
354
00:15:00,219 --> 00:15:02,169
I don't want
to break up over this.
355
00:15:02,171 --> 00:15:04,338
Okay, why don't you just
tell him you made a mistake?
356
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:07,057
Do you guys think
it was a mistake?
357
00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:09,093
Am I the bad guy in this?
358
00:15:09,095 --> 00:15:11,261
It's not for
us to judge.
359
00:15:11,263 --> 00:15:13,597
We're just here to provide
comfort and support
360
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:14,765
while you come to grips
361
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,817
with what a despicable thing
you've done.
362
00:15:18,236 --> 00:15:20,821
Oh, God, you're right.
363
00:15:20,823 --> 00:15:25,859
I took our love and threw it
under his bus-sized mother.
364
00:15:28,113 --> 00:15:29,997
I need to apologize.
365
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:32,166
Well, that-that's good.
I'm glad you came to that.
366
00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:35,419
But before you do, let me just
ask you a big picture question.
367
00:15:35,421 --> 00:15:36,203
What?
368
00:15:36,205 --> 00:15:38,372
Are you
369
00:15:38,374 --> 00:15:42,960
100% positive you love and want
to marry Howard Wolowitz?
370
00:15:42,962 --> 00:15:45,429
I do, with all my heart.
371
00:15:45,431 --> 00:15:46,663
Got it.
372
00:15:46,665 --> 00:15:49,099
Just had to check.
373
00:15:50,885 --> 00:15:53,103
He's great.
374
00:15:56,358 --> 00:15:58,275
All right, Sheldon.
375
00:15:58,277 --> 00:15:59,526
We're going to Wil's.
376
00:15:59,528 --> 00:16:01,145
This is your
last chance.
377
00:16:01,147 --> 00:16:04,181
No, Leonard,
this is your last chance.
378
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,616
One day,
379
00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:08,152
a historian is going
to come to you and say,
380
00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:11,121
"Is it true you were friends
with Dr. Sheldon Cooper?"
381
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,991
And you're going to have
to choke back a hot sob
382
00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:15,292
of regret and humiliation
383
00:16:15,294 --> 00:16:17,544
as you mumble,
"I was, but
384
00:16:17,546 --> 00:16:20,414
"I chose to go to a party thrown
by the one kid
385
00:16:20,416 --> 00:16:22,750
from Stand By Me
that no one remembers."
386
00:16:25,503 --> 00:16:27,421
You want to drive?
387
00:16:27,423 --> 00:16:29,623
Sure.
388
00:16:32,761 --> 00:16:34,228
Hey, Sheldon?
389
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:36,897
Oh, good. You picked me,
you picked me.
390
00:16:36,899 --> 00:16:39,483
No, I just got a
text from Stuart.
391
00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:41,351
Brent Spiner is
at the party.
392
00:16:41,353 --> 00:16:42,686
Brent Spiner?
393
00:16:42,688 --> 00:16:44,488
Yes.
394
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,857
I don't care.
395
00:16:46,859 --> 00:16:48,809
Really?
396
00:16:48,811 --> 00:16:50,027
Brent Spiner,
397
00:16:50,029 --> 00:16:52,029
Mr. Data himself.
You love him.
398
00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:55,899
I did, but I think I've kind of
outgrown Star Trek.
399
00:16:58,703 --> 00:17:01,404
You know, stock characters,
400
00:17:01,406 --> 00:17:03,674
ludicrous plots, "beam me up."
401
00:17:03,676 --> 00:17:05,709
What a load of hooey.
402
00:17:05,711 --> 00:17:07,127
I'm going.
403
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:09,096
Live long and
prosper, Sheldon.
404
00:17:09,098 --> 00:17:10,931
Yeah, even that.
You look like a dork.
405
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,805
Howard, Bernadette's here!
406
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,807
Tell her I'm not home!
407
00:17:19,809 --> 00:17:21,809
What kind of a schmuck play
is that?!
408
00:17:21,811 --> 00:17:23,227
She can hear you shouting!
409
00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:27,764
Can we talk?
410
00:17:27,766 --> 00:17:30,400
You can. I have nothing to say.
411
00:17:30,402 --> 00:17:32,653
All right.
412
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:34,738
I just wanted to tell you
413
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,874
I'm sorry I said something
to your mother.
414
00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:39,326
I was gonna tell her eventually,
415
00:17:39,328 --> 00:17:41,495
but you went behind my back.
416
00:17:41,497 --> 00:17:43,330
I know. I'm sorry.
417
00:17:43,332 --> 00:17:44,832
I got scared.
418
00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:46,216
If you're gonna love me,
419
00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:48,469
you're gonna have to
love the whole package:
420
00:17:48,471 --> 00:17:52,256
the tenderhearted poet
and the crazy daredevil.
421
00:17:53,341 --> 00:17:55,476
I know.
422
00:17:55,478 --> 00:17:57,928
Well, don't say it if
you're not gonna mean it,
423
00:17:57,930 --> 00:18:00,397
'cause I'm not just gonna
stop with the space station.
424
00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:03,817
Yeah, I want to go to the
Moon, I want to go to Mars.
425
00:18:03,819 --> 00:18:07,604
I want to take a one-man sub to
the lowest depths of the ocean.
426
00:18:07,606 --> 00:18:08,856
Really?
427
00:18:08,858 --> 00:18:11,408
You got seasick
on Pirates of the Caribbean.
428
00:18:12,577 --> 00:18:16,864
Well, those big kids
were rocking it.
429
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:21,535
I just did what I did
because I love you so much,
430
00:18:21,537 --> 00:18:24,821
and the thought of losing you
is more than I can handle.
431
00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:26,323
Really?
432
00:18:26,325 --> 00:18:28,208
You're my soul mate.
433
00:18:30,295 --> 00:18:32,429
This is where you kiss me.
434
00:18:32,431 --> 00:18:34,631
Right, right.
435
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:39,169
Make up all you want!
436
00:18:39,171 --> 00:18:42,556
Your tuchis is not
leaving this planet!
437
00:18:50,525 --> 00:18:52,862
Hey, you know
that beautiful actress who plays
438
00:18:52,863 --> 00:18:54,780
the Borg Queen in First Contact?
439
00:18:54,782 --> 00:18:58,367
- Yeah.
- Well, I just met her gynecologist!
440
00:19:01,404 --> 00:19:02,838
What are you doing here?
441
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,790
Fighting for our friendship.
442
00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:06,925
As peculiar and annoying
as you can be,
443
00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:08,627
you're still my little buddy.
444
00:19:08,629 --> 00:19:11,213
I'm not going
to let that end here tonight.
445
00:19:11,215 --> 00:19:15,634
Now put down that drink, let's
meet Brent Spiner and go home.
446
00:19:15,636 --> 00:19:17,402
Hey, Sheldon,
I'm so glad you made it.
447
00:19:17,404 --> 00:19:19,187
I found something
I think you might like.
448
00:19:19,189 --> 00:19:22,757
What I'd like is for him
to have a more depressing home.
449
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:25,360
This is quite lovely.
450
00:19:25,362 --> 00:19:27,145
This is for you.
451
00:19:27,147 --> 00:19:31,033
An original mint-in-package
Wesley Crusher action figure.
452
00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:32,868
I remembered your story
about the time you went
453
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,486
to a convention
when you were a kid
454
00:19:34,488 --> 00:19:36,071
to get one signed,
and I didn't show up.
455
00:19:36,073 --> 00:19:37,605
Look at what I wrote.
456
00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:42,210
"To Sheldon, sorry
this took so long.
457
00:19:42,212 --> 00:19:43,578
Your friend, Wil Wheaton""
458
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,998
It's my last one.
459
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,666
I want you to have it.
460
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:53,338
Look, everyone.
Wil Wheaton is my friend!
461
00:19:55,391 --> 00:19:57,559
Oh, wow.
462
00:19:57,561 --> 00:20:00,095
I haven't seen one
of these in years.
463
00:20:01,848 --> 00:20:04,016
Remember how we used
to make these things look
464
00:20:04,018 --> 00:20:06,018
like they were masturbating?
465
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:08,570
Brent Spiner, what
have you done?!
466
00:20:08,572 --> 00:20:10,689
That was an original
mint-in-package
467
00:20:10,691 --> 00:20:12,024
Wesley Crusher
action figure
468
00:20:12,026 --> 00:20:14,242
signed by my close personal
friend, Wil Wheaton.
469
00:20:14,244 --> 00:20:15,527
Sorry, Slim.
470
00:20:15,529 --> 00:20:17,863
I've got some Mr. Data dolls
in the trunk of my car.
471
00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:19,481
You want me
to sign one for you?
472
00:20:19,483 --> 00:20:21,833
You've already signed
something, Brent Spiner.
473
00:20:21,835 --> 00:20:24,036
Your name on my list.
474
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,874
From this moment on,
you are my mortal enemy.
475
00:20:28,876 --> 00:20:32,627
Don't worry. It doesn't take
up a whole lot of your time.
476
00:20:32,629 --> 00:20:34,679
Come on, buddy.
477
00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:36,965
Let's not waste another
second on this loser.
478
00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:40,685
Love your house.
479
00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:42,554
Can we get autographed dolls?
480
00:20:42,556 --> 00:20:43,889
Sure.
481
00:20:44,624 --> 00:20:46,725
20 bucks.
482
00:20:48,611 --> 00:20:50,779
Ten.
483
00:20:52,248 --> 00:20:54,399
$18.
484
00:20:54,401 --> 00:20:55,283
$12.
485
00:20:55,285 --> 00:20:56,068
$16.
486
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:57,486
Two for $30.
487
00:20:57,488 --> 00:20:59,687
And you come
to my birthday party.
488
00:21:00,957 --> 00:21:02,857
Done.
489
00:21:02,859 --> 00:21:06,859
== sync for WEB-DL ferengi ==