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Sync by Mlmlte. Corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
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Look at us...
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Watching romantic movie
on a Saturday night.
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Okay.
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Why is that chick wearing heels
to a picnic?
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Can we just watch the movie?
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Okay, but can we just agree
that all of that picnic stuff
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- didn't fit into that basket?
- Right.
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Maybe it was an important picnic
to her.
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She took two trips, so that's
how all that got there.
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Oh, sorry, I didn't realize
she was your girlfriend.
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Whit, we've had this movie
for two weeks.
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It's holding up our queue.
Can we just power through it?
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Okay, fine.
I'm done.
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- Okay.
- Yeah.
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If we're ever
in a rainstorm
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and you try to make out
with me,
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I will leave you for
an actual man.
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Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
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You heard me.
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Oh, hey, Lil.
That's a cute dress.
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Is that new?
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Oh, crap.
This is my night gown.
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Good, 'cause you look like
you went to follow a noise
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in a horror movie.
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Oh, my God.
I'm a mess.
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I can't sleep,
I can't find my cell phone.
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Neal is sending major signals
he's about to propose
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and it's making me crazy.
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Can we just agree that
proposals are outdated and lame?
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And representing the point
of view of normal people,
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it's the most romantic moment
in a woman's life.
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Look what it does to you.
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You're shaky, you're sweaty,
you're nervous.
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It's like you're being hunted
for sport.
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I heard that.
Who's being hunted?
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Lily thinks
Neal's gonna propose.
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Ooh! That's
why you're falling apart.
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Oh, sorry. Hang on.
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Just got a text from new guy.
We're getting pretty serious.
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Where'd you meet him?
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Oh, we haven't met.
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What does he look like?
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I do not know.
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See, he commented on my comments
on yelp.
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This is what dating
is like now.
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You may need to kill me
in my sleep.
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Pretty sure the stranger
you're texting with
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will take care of that.
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Wait a second.
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Wheels are turning.
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Getting an idea.
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What if I proposed to Neal?
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Oh, my God.
That is so romantic.
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And so passive aggressive.
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Do it.
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You should not have to wait
around for a guy to propose.
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It's an antiquated tradition.
It's like Columbus day.
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Oh, my God,
I can't hear this one again.
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He didn't discover anything.
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Lily proposing
is a terrible idea.
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The worst!
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Unless--wait.
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Is her goal to get engaged or
destroy society as we know it?
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Okay, I can't believe you guys
are against this.
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00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:06,028
I'm sure Neal would appreciate
having the pressure taken off.
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Yeah, it'll take the pressure
off his jeans
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caused by having testicles.
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I'm confused.
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Proposals involve
everything guys hate.
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Jewelry and effort.
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Yeah, but it's like the last
romantic thing that guys
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get to be in control of.
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Plus, if women were allowed
to propose,
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every guy would get proposed to
on the third date.
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Do you really think women are
that desperate to get married?
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Yes.
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I can think of six women
that I have dated
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who absolutely would've
proposed to me...
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If it had been socially
acceptable.
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The reason they didn't proposed you
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is 'cause that's not what
you paid them for.
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Watch.
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I'll do a little recon.
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I'll track down some of my exes,
and prove it.
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Why would any woman ever
admit that to you?
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I always get people
to tell me the truth, Whitney.
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That's my job.
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You're the worst cop ever.
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Nah.
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There's way worse cops
than me.
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I can't believe you're
defending this old-fashioned
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romance nonsense.
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I don't think it's nonsense.
I think it's kinda nice.
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You do?
No, you don't.
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You're with me on this.
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No, there's the way I am,
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and then there's you who hates
love and hugs and feelings.
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I have a very romantic side.
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Maybe you just haven't bothered
to unfurl it.
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The last time I tried
to hold your hand in public
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you acted like my hand
was made of fire.
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We shook, it was over.
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And you gave up after being
shot down once?
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00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:05,194
What does that say about you,
John cusack?
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00:05:05,228 --> 00:05:06,514
Don't turn this
around on me.
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00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,532
No, you don't turn this
around on me.
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I don't even know
what that means.
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No, I don't even know
what that means.
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Look, it's all right.
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It's just, you know, I kinda
had to give up on romance
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when I fell in love with you.
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What kind of monster
do you think I am?
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A pretty one?
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Ok, if I'm gonna propose to Neil,
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I need to think of a gift,
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like the male equivalent
of a ring.
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Okay, you're not allowed
to weigh in on this.
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Raw vegan good was your idea.
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Is this gum? 'Cause I've been
chewing this since we got here.
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I only picked this place
because texty might be here
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and I wanna get a good look
at him.
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Yeah, this is a bad plan.
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He tweeted that
he comes here a lot,
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not that he lives here.
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Although, a lot of these people
look like they live here.
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How would you even know
if it's him?
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He exudes a very specific
blend of confidence
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and sexual energy
in his texts.
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When I see him...
I'll know.
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Ooh, is that him?
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He wouldn't wear a hat.
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All right, proposal gift.
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Um, what do men like?
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Right, like I get down
on my knees and give him a...
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Anyone?
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Anyone but Whitney.
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Agh. Look at this text
from Alex.
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"Thinking of you, baby.
X-O-X-O."
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- Aww.
- No, not "aww."
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Okay, he is trying to prove
a point that I'm not romantic.
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And I am romantic.
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This one says I love you.
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Oh, he is such an ass!
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He just sent a rose made out
of text characters.
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00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,092
This is war.
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00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:07,551
Listen.
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Kylee, you're not hearing me.
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I am asking you if you would've
proposed before I quote-unquote
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crashed your car
into your other car.
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Hello?
Hello?
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Ah, dammit.
I lost her.
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All of my exes have
terrible reception.
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Hi.
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Did you get my texts?
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Did you hate them?
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No, I loved them...
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Because I love you
and I love love.
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In fact, I was so touched that
I got us matching heart lockets
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at things remembered.
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You really wanna do this,
huh?
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'Cause, uh, I'll put mine on
right now.
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I'm never taking mine off.
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Mine just ripped out
some neck beard.
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And I still love it.
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So...I'm gonna go.
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'Cause this is really weird.
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- Your move, tough guy.
- Oh, yeah?
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Well, how about I take you out
tomorrow night
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and get all kinds of crazy
romantic on you?
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That sounds delightful.
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Oh, it'll be delightful,
all right.
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It'll be the most romantically
delightful night of your life.
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Bring it.
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Oh, I will.
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Hey, your breath is crazy bad.
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I just ate a burger
made out of dirt.
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But a real romantic would still
wanna kiss his girlfriend.
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So?
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Is this not the perfect place
to find my proposal gift?
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I don't know,
are you proposing to Neal
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or Harry Potter?
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I told you, okay?
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It's a tradition
in some Indian weddings
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for the groom to present
the bride's family
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with a ceremonial sword.
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And I'm flipping the script.
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00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:40,961
Maybe I can find something
for my big date with Alex.
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00:09:40,995 --> 00:09:45,126
Ooh. That dagger's on sale.
190
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:47,101
So you guys are basically
playing a game
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00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:48,630
of romantic chicken?
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00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,971
He wants me to admit
that I hate romance.
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00:09:51,005 --> 00:09:52,383
I mean, what kind of person
would that make me?
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A you kinda person?
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00:09:55,944 --> 00:09:57,811
You have got to stop
texting him, Roxanne.
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00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:58,640
You're turning into a tween.
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00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:04,585
Ha! No, I'm not.
Okay, just leave me alone. God!
198
00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:07,754
Okay, yeah, I'm gonna take
a little break.
199
00:10:07,789 --> 00:10:08,822
And I do not hate romance.
200
00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:09,923
I just hate
the fake stupid kind
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00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,492
where we're supposed
to pretend
202
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:12,779
like it's still a thousand
years ago.
203
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:15,829
I don't know. Maybe it was
a more romantic time.
204
00:10:15,864 --> 00:10:20,328
Knights in shining armor...
Damsels in distress.
205
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,869
It was not more romantic
back then.
206
00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:23,137
It was terrifying.
207
00:10:23,171 --> 00:10:25,038
You would just sit up
in a tower all day,
208
00:10:25,073 --> 00:10:29,879
waiting for your dad to sell you
to some guy for three goats.
209
00:10:30,045 --> 00:10:34,047
It's better than one goat.
210
00:10:34,082 --> 00:10:35,482
Welcome to World of Weaponry.
211
00:10:35,517 --> 00:10:37,971
May I answer any questions
for you?
212
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:42,767
Yes, are we the first girls
to ever set foot in this store?
213
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,025
Um, I'm looking for a sword
to give to my boyfriend
214
00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:48,061
as an engagement present...
Something classic and strong.
215
00:10:48,096 --> 00:10:51,431
He also wears a lot of blazers
if that's helpful.
216
00:10:51,466 --> 00:10:52,666
I see.
217
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,635
I recommend the black steel
warrior.
218
00:10:54,669 --> 00:10:57,004
Classic symbol
of the Japanese Samurai.
219
00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:59,951
We just got some in
from China.
220
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,327
I'll go grab one.
221
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:03,143
Are you sure
I should do this?
222
00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:04,912
Am I gonna regret not having
that special moment
223
00:11:04,946 --> 00:11:06,291
where he asks me?
224
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,081
Well, you're gonna have
a sword in your hand.
225
00:11:08,116 --> 00:11:12,088
If you change your mind,
you can make him ask you.
226
00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:15,989
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.
227
00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:18,928
All right, it wasn't easy,
but I got you guys a table
228
00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:20,294
at Carvaggio.
229
00:11:20,328 --> 00:11:22,348
It's the most romantic
restaurant in Chicago.
230
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:23,997
Ah!
231
00:11:24,032 --> 00:11:26,978
Whitney's gonna hate it!
232
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,336
Ah!
233
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:30,804
I don't want her to blame me
234
00:11:30,838 --> 00:11:31,972
for something
in our relationship
235
00:11:32,006 --> 00:11:35,611
that isn't a problem
and not my fault.
236
00:11:35,777 --> 00:11:37,144
Listen.
237
00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:39,574
I've got big news about me
and Lily.
238
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,149
I am gonna propose to her
tonight
239
00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:43,517
at the Rose Garden
in Grant Park.
240
00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:44,718
It's where we met.
241
00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,706
And, uh, I want you guys
to come.
242
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,291
Oh, man,
that's super romantic.
243
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,208
Thanks.
244
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:52,059
Lily's gonna love it.
245
00:11:52,093 --> 00:11:55,028
And Whitney's gonna hate it!
246
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:00,603
Here we are.
247
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:03,014
Just... being romantic.
248
00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:04,929
Finally.
249
00:12:04,963 --> 00:12:08,019
All these wasted years.
250
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,234
Both of us just wishing
251
00:12:10,268 --> 00:12:12,231
the other one would be
more romantic.
252
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,141
Me slightly more than you.
253
00:12:17,175 --> 00:12:20,531
Because as the man says,
254
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:24,786
love is the chain...
255
00:12:25,016 --> 00:12:28,419
that binds two hearts
together.
256
00:12:28,453 --> 00:12:32,251
And that is a quote about love
that I have always known.
257
00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:36,093
That's beautiful.
258
00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:39,217
Like your face.
259
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,803
I would like to sketch you.
260
00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:42,804
Mm.
261
00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:46,937
Just you and your locket.
262
00:12:46,972 --> 00:12:50,019
But for now, I'll just settle
on holding your hand.
263
00:12:50,308 --> 00:12:52,980
Shhhh...
264
00:12:53,811 --> 00:12:56,943
Kahh.
265
00:12:57,282 --> 00:13:00,351
Or you can admit that
I'm more romantic than you are
266
00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:05,201
and all this goes away.
267
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:09,747
That's gotta burn
a little bit, right?
268
00:13:09,913 --> 00:13:11,374
Flower for the lady?
269
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,531
You know what?
No, my girlfriend hates roses.
270
00:13:13,565 --> 00:13:15,266
Oh, I actually never
said that.
271
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,568
I said that I think it's weird
that men show women affection
272
00:13:17,602 --> 00:13:19,048
by ripping something beautiful
out of the ground
273
00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:20,675
and making them watch it die
very slowly.
274
00:13:20,906 --> 00:13:23,594
It's totally different.
275
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:24,595
So no flower?
276
00:13:24,976 --> 00:13:27,478
Oh, no. We'll take
the whole bunch.
277
00:13:27,512 --> 00:13:30,935
Bring it.
278
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:36,053
Mm.
279
00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:38,401
Probably gonna be a little
more for the basket.
280
00:13:40,091 --> 00:13:41,696
I don't know.
Here. Thank you.
281
00:13:41,927 --> 00:13:44,907
These are beautiful.
I love them.
282
00:13:45,197 --> 00:13:47,994
Perhaps I'll hold them
in my portrait.
283
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,702
Well, I love you.
284
00:13:51,736 --> 00:13:53,170
To romance.
285
00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:54,709
To romance.
286
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,294
Ah.
287
00:13:59,978 --> 00:14:03,301
Yeah, this is
how we drink now.
288
00:14:24,669 --> 00:14:27,238
- Ah, what a night, huh?
- Yeah.
289
00:14:27,272 --> 00:14:29,240
Thanks for feeding my dessert
to me.
290
00:14:29,274 --> 00:14:30,574
You're welcome.
291
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,476
You sure the ride over here
wasn't a bit much?
292
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:34,251
No! Fft.
293
00:14:34,376 --> 00:14:38,115
When you're pedaling
for love...
294
00:14:38,149 --> 00:14:41,318
You can get anywhere.
295
00:14:41,353 --> 00:14:43,382
All right, well, this is
the last stop of the night.
296
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:47,825
- So I hope you like it.
- Oh, a picnic!
297
00:14:47,859 --> 00:14:53,100
Where I will be...
Belly dancing?
298
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:54,936
You read my mind.
299
00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:58,435
And my heart.
300
00:15:27,933 --> 00:15:30,096
Fine, fine! Fine.
Please stop.
301
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,303
You can go back in the bush.
Thank you very much.
302
00:15:32,337 --> 00:15:34,605
Very, very good.
Go on.
303
00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:35,873
Just go, go.
Go, swans.
304
00:15:35,907 --> 00:15:36,852
Take it.
305
00:15:37,409 --> 00:15:40,244
Okay, fine.
You win.
306
00:15:40,278 --> 00:15:42,212
So you admit
that you're not romantic?
307
00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:43,881
I guess.
I am sorry.
308
00:15:43,915 --> 00:15:45,416
I mean, there must be
something wrong with me.
309
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:47,885
I guess I'm missing a gene
in my DNA
310
00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:50,421
that makes me think that
all of this is magical.
311
00:15:50,455 --> 00:15:53,424
I guess I have a dead soul.
312
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:55,893
But come on!
This is the worst.
313
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:58,541
It's corny, it's cheesy.
I'm sweating.
314
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:03,567
I am having a physical
reaction to how bad this is.
315
00:16:03,601 --> 00:16:05,569
Wait, you don't think
Lily's gonna like this?
316
00:16:05,603 --> 00:16:06,870
Neal? What?
317
00:16:06,905 --> 00:16:09,343
This is for Lily.
I'm proposing to Lily.
318
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:13,077
Where are my swans?
Where's my guys?
319
00:16:13,111 --> 00:16:15,891
Wow, um,
Lily is gonna love this.
320
00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:17,915
It's great.
Swans? Swans?
321
00:16:17,949 --> 00:16:19,562
They're coming.
322
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,397
Could've used a heads up.
Why didn't I know about this?
323
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:22,886
Yeah, I didn't wanna tell you
324
00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:25,860
'cause I was afraid
you might ruin it.
325
00:16:26,091 --> 00:16:27,891
Hey. Sorry we're late.
Did we miss it?
326
00:16:27,926 --> 00:16:28,946
No, they're on their way.
327
00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:32,730
I gotta go find my swans.
328
00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:35,699
I don't know what that means.
329
00:16:35,734 --> 00:16:37,534
Alex, Whitney, I would like you
to meet Shannon.
330
00:16:37,569 --> 00:16:38,569
- Hi.
- Hi.
331
00:16:38,603 --> 00:16:39,803
- I'm Whitney.
- Shannon.
332
00:16:39,838 --> 00:16:41,171
- Hey, how are you?
- Nice to meet you.
333
00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:42,752
Shannon and I dated
for four months in college.
334
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,587
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
335
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:46,176
You know, it's funny.
336
00:16:46,211 --> 00:16:48,545
Here we are, about to witness
a proposal happen,
337
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:49,717
the way God intended it,
338
00:16:49,948 --> 00:16:53,550
and Shannon told me the most
interesting thing today
339
00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:54,551
about proposals.
340
00:16:54,586 --> 00:16:56,053
Do you remember?
341
00:16:56,087 --> 00:16:59,156
Oh, we were just talking about
how if me proposing to Mark
342
00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:01,743
had been on the table back then
I probably would've asked him
343
00:17:01,868 --> 00:17:04,261
to marry me.
344
00:17:04,295 --> 00:17:07,364
That's so funny.
345
00:17:07,399 --> 00:17:10,139
Isn't that funny?
346
00:17:10,264 --> 00:17:12,657
- I don't buy it.
- What?
347
00:17:13,238 --> 00:17:15,205
Your ex-boyfriend calls you up
out of the blue,
348
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,274
and you just give that up
on day one?
349
00:17:17,308 --> 00:17:19,276
I don't think so.
350
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:23,347
I don't like
what you're implying.
351
00:17:23,381 --> 00:17:25,115
Don't sell women out
like this.
352
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:29,386
How did he get you
to come here tonight?
353
00:17:29,421 --> 00:17:30,721
He told me he'd get
354
00:17:30,755 --> 00:17:35,304
my brother's manslaughter
sentence reduced.
355
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:38,829
I said I'd try.
356
00:17:38,863 --> 00:17:41,532
And now I'm not going to.
357
00:17:41,566 --> 00:17:44,368
Guys, she's coming.
She's parking the car.
358
00:17:44,402 --> 00:17:48,859
I told her she was gonna be
part of a flash mob.
359
00:17:50,107 --> 00:17:51,696
Roxanne, come on.
Seriously?
360
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:55,045
He's been blowing me up ever
since I sent him naked pictures.
361
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,284
You sent naked photos
of yourself to that guy?
362
00:17:57,450 --> 00:17:59,716
No! I sent him pictures
of some porn star's boobs
363
00:17:59,751 --> 00:18:01,885
and said they were mine.
364
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,792
Her name was Roxanne,
though, so.
365
00:18:05,924 --> 00:18:08,087
Hi.
366
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:14,164
Neal?
367
00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:15,933
Lily?
368
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,671
A year ago,
369
00:18:20,705 --> 00:18:24,575
I came here to a wedding
I didn't want to go to
370
00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:29,442
and I knew that night
that I had met my wife.
371
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,802
You make all of my days better
372
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:34,572
and I don't ever want to spend
another one without you.
373
00:18:37,953 --> 00:18:40,202
Lily...
374
00:18:40,425 --> 00:18:45,662
Tonight, back where
I first set eyes on you,
375
00:18:45,697 --> 00:18:51,046
in front of
all of our... friends,
376
00:18:51,469 --> 00:18:57,720
will you please...
say that you'll marry me?
377
00:18:57,976 --> 00:19:02,412
Yes, I will.
Yes, yes, yes!
378
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:08,185
That was so beautiful
and touching and romantic.
379
00:19:10,846 --> 00:19:13,027
Holy balls!
380
00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:16,113
Check it out.
Suck it.
381
00:19:16,279 --> 00:19:17,628
Moved to tears.
382
00:19:17,662 --> 00:19:22,299
Oh, who's romantic now,
bitches?
383
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:26,624
I'm sorry.
Congratulations.
384
00:19:26,871 --> 00:19:29,627
You know what?
This was perfect.
385
00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:36,780
What are you smiling about?
386
00:19:36,814 --> 00:19:41,018
Did I mispronounce suck it?
387
00:19:41,052 --> 00:19:43,516
You see, I have feelings.
My heart's not made of stone.
388
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,290
- Yeah, because I softened it.
- What?
389
00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:50,060
Three years ago, all this
would've made you vomit,
390
00:19:50,094 --> 00:19:51,461
all right.
391
00:19:51,496 --> 00:19:56,070
But you met me and I turned on
your heart light.
392
00:19:56,501 --> 00:20:00,616
Oh, and may I politely
invite you to suck it?
393
00:20:00,838 --> 00:20:04,069
How about we both suck it?
394
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,243
Uh...Oh.
395
00:20:06,277 --> 00:20:07,289
What?
396
00:20:07,545 --> 00:20:09,880
"I will call the police
if you don't stop sending
397
00:20:09,914 --> 00:20:12,247
"naked pictures of yourself
to my son.
398
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:17,091
He is 15."
399
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,722
Come on, I wanna go to bed.
400
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:25,349
Come on, one more time!
401
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:29,228
I paid Lily like 300 bucks
for this thing.
402
00:20:29,894 --> 00:20:31,782
All right, fine.
403
00:20:31,817 --> 00:20:33,834
- You ready?
- Yeah.
404
00:20:33,869 --> 00:20:36,569
I am the seventh daughter
of the great shogun warrior.
405
00:20:36,888 --> 00:20:39,405
I will now defeat you
with my shaolin sword.
406
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:42,908
You have stained the honor
of my family. Ha, ha, ha.
407
00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:47,288
Now you must taste my fury!
I will--
408
00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:49,164
I think we're done.
409
00:20:49,391 --> 00:20:55,919
Sync by Mlmlte. Corrections by Alice
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