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Previously on Desperate housewives.
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We have some serious problems
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that are gonna require serious work.
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Lynette and Tom struggled
with their separation.
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Mike heard a confession...
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I killed Gaby's stepfather.
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Aah! Uhh!
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And me and the girls helped cover it up.
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That could change
his life with Susan forever.
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Bree showed Gaby the note...
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Let's say someone knows.
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I say until they tell us what they want,
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we just act like everything's normal.
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And decided she needed
to end her relationship
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with detective Vance.
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You know, Bree, I would
have done anything for you.
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You have made a very big mistake.
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It's often said that children learn
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their most important lessons
outside the classroom.
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They learn to find peaceful
ways to resolve conflict...
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to make smart choices about nutrition...
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to master the art of conversation.
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But for Gabrielle Solis,
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the art of morning drop-off...
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What's taking so long? Come on! Let's go!
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Was something she'd never learned.
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You slow down, push the kid out,
and drive off!
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Why is it so hard?!
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You realize I have to go
to this school, right?
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Oh, come on. I'm behind
the wheelchair kid?
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That's it, Juanita. Get out.
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I'm not allowed till
we get to the green zone
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and a volunteer opens the door.
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Remember what happened last week?
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Yeah, last week I made it
to my hot stone massage.
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Just keep your head down,
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pretend like you don't
speak english, and run.
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Hold it!
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Ohh.
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Hi, Dana. I didn't see you there.
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Looks like someone didn't learn her lesson
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You're out.
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Wh... Hey!
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I need that!
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Your drop-off privileges
have been revoked.
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From now on, you'll be
parking in the "B" lot
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- and walking Juanita to class.
- The "B" lot?
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That's, like, a mile away.
These don't walk.
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They do now.
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Oh, yeah? Well, who died
and made you boss?
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Margaret Frye. Cancer.
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Oh. Right. I still owe for those flowers.
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Oh, relax, Pam! You'll still
make it to weight watchers!
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Problem here, Dana?
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Oh, great. Now the pips are here.
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It's Solis again.
She's holding up traffic.
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Yeah, and I'm not moving till
you give me back my placard.
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Oh, Pam, eat a carrot!
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Tell you what.
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If you can take the placard
from me, you can keep it.
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You know what? I'm not a child.
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I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction...
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Oh!
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You know what, Dana?
Just because you're head of P.T.A.
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doesn't mean you get to make the laws!
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Oh, I have news for you.
Here at Oakridge, I am the law.
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Yes, some of our most important lessons
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are learned outside the class room.
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And when it came to school politics,
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Gabrielle's education was just beginning.
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When it came to her separation,
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Lynette Scavo was determined
to do everything by the book.
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She made sure her visitation days
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were evenly divided.
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She kept perfect records
of her household expenses.
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She found healthy ways
to relieve her stress.
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Yes, Lynette was confident
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her by-the-book approach
was the right one,
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sadly, not everyone was on the same page.
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Well, look who cleaned
out the sad-sack aisle
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at the bookstore.
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At least your divorce is good
for the publishing industry.
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We're not using the "D" word.
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It's a separation.
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Tom and I are going to
"Heal through counseling"
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so we can find "A road to reconnection"
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and if not,
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"Murder on the orient express."
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Penny, your dad's here!
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Explain something to me.
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If you're trying to win back your husband,
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why do you dress like you
sell oranges by the freeway?
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Hey. Sorry I'm late.
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I had to stop at the store,
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and it took longer than I expected.
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Because you tawt you taw a puddy tat?
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Ha ha.
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It's just a teeth whitener.
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Teeth whitening, huh?
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And unless sweat suits are
the new business casual,
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it looks like you're working out, too.
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I'm trying. It helps cheer me
up when the kids aren't around.
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- Daddy!
- Hey!
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Oh! Remember to get Parker at practice.
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- I love you. Have fun at your dad's.
- I love you. Bye.
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Drive safe.
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Hmm.
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I've got a new book title for you...
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"Your husband's banging somebody."
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What?
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Chapter one... white teeth.
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Chapter two... working out.
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Chapter three... the nasty.
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He's just trying to take
better care of himself.
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Oh, Lynette.
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I expect you to be naive about hair,
makeup, and fashion,
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but about this?
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Trust me. Tom has hooked up.
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He's not. He's not. If he was...
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dating someone,
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he would tell me.
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He would.
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Right?
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- That doesn't look too suspicious.
- Oh.
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I'm sorry. Just...
every time I check the mail,
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I'm afraid it's gonna be
another one of those letters.
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It's been three weeks.
Maybe we're out of the woods.
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Please don't say "Woods."
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I'm just saying, if someone
was trying to blackmail us,
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they're not very good at it,
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since they haven't asked
for money or anything.
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Well, what happened to them?
Did they just disappear?
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If we're lucky.
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Now that Chuck the cop
is out of your life,
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Susan's acting normal,
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I think we're in the clear.
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Oh, good. Here they are. Hmm.
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Oh, Danielle and Benjamin.
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Fun. What's the occasion?
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Her husband left her.
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Ugh. Okay. Well, I'd stay and say hi,
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but that would involve a lot
of listening and sad nodding.
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Oh, honey, I am so sorry
about you and Leo.
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Thanks, mom.
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Not that I didn't see it coming.
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That didn't take long.
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Neither did the marriage.
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So how are you holding up?
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My husband left me. It sucks.
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But you know how that feels.
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You just got dumped by that cop, right?
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Um...
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Actually, I am the one
who ended it with Chuck.
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He wanted to marry me, bought me a ring,
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but that's not important.
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This week...
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or weeks is about you.
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We are gonna make a plan to
put your life back together.
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A plan? Mom, this all just happened.
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Give me a few days to eat
ice cream and veg out.
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Of course, honey.
I promised you on your wedding day
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that I would be here when he left you.
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You know what?
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Maybe we'll just crash on Andrew's floor.
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What? That's so uncomfortable.
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Not as bad as staying here and
getting picked apart by you.
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I promise I won't criticize you.
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Besides, if you sleep on Andrew's floor,
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you'll need a tetanus shot.
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What? I said I wouldn't criticize you.
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I didn't say anything about your brother.
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Okay, I know that last night
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I said you could take
all the time you need
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to work through what
Carlos and I told you,
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but...
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while you're taking all the time you need,
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you think you could maybe...
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tell me that you still love me?
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I mean...
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if you still love me?
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There is nothing you could do
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that would make me stop loving you.
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Mike, it was so hard
to keep this from you,
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like, the hardest thing I've ever done.
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Well, at least I understand
why you've been so distant.
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And to be honest,
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I'm kind of relieved you
weren't having an affair.
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Well, now that you know,
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I just want everything
to go back to normal.
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Okay, but I hope you realize
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it might not be that easy.
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Take it from a guy who's
done things like this.
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They don't just disappear.
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Yeah, I know that.
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But I think if I focus on other stuff
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and move on with my life,
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it'll be okay.
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Great.
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And first step?
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I'm taking a painting
class at the college.
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It's being taught by Andre Zeller.
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Okay, that means nothing to you.
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It's like I'm taking a football class
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from Peyton Manning.
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Whoa.
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It's just what I need.
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I think it'll be a great way
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to take my mind off
everything that's happened.
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So I'm gonna get my portfolio together.
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Mr. Zeller has to approve
all his students.
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Not that I'm worried.
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Oh, and, Mike,
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from now on, I swear,
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no more secrets between us.
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Is that my school?
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The tiny, little building way down there?
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It would've been faster
if we just walked from home.
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Hey.
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First time in the "B" lot, huh?
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- Welcome.
- What are you in for?
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Practically nothing.
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I let my kid get out
of the car by herself.
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00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,000
- Ooh.
- Dana take your placard?
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00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,910
Yeah, but I'll get it
back in a day or two.
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00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,620
Are you kidding?
228
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,660
She'll have you in here
for the rest of the year.
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00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,840
What? She can't do that.
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00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,050
Oh, you wanna bet?
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00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,810
I took a cell phone
call in the green zone.
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00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,560
That was two months ago.
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00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,740
My kid had peanut butter
crackers in his lunchbox.
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00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,400
I'm looking at four to six.
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00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,850
This is crazy.
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00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,690
No, this is Dana.
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00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:29,390
Dana "The pain-a." Pfft!
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00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,310
Dana "You better not complain-a."
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00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,790
Dana "Power's driving me insane-a."
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00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,940
Oh, my god. Is this what
the "B" lot does to you?
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00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:40,010
That, four kids,
and the flask in her purse.
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00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,810
Well, if everyone thinks
she's such a pain-a,
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00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:43,930
how'd she get the job?
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It's an elected position.
We voted for her.
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Well, not me. I don't vote.
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00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,890
All right, when's the next P.T.A. meeting?
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There's one thursday.
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00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,530
Okay. I say we band together,
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00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:59,800
storm that meeting, and go all
"Braveheart" on Dana's ass.
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00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,020
Who's with me?
251
00:12:03,380 --> 00:12:04,830
You guys not seen "Braveheart"?
252
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:08,310
I know it's an old reference,
but this is when you go, "Yeah!"
253
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,420
Yeah.
254
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Oh, god. Come on.
255
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:14,660
If every fed-up mom in
this "B" lot shows up,
256
00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:17,070
we can break our shackles,
get our placards back.
257
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,010
We can... oh! The movie "300."
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00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:21,980
This is Sparta!
259
00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:23,030
You've seen that, right?
260
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,450
Yeah!
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00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:27,320
Okay. I'll see you ladies thursday.
262
00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:35,960
Mm-hmm.
263
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:39,130
This is excellent work.
264
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,960
Thank you, Mr. Zeller.
265
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,090
Now I know what you're thinking...
266
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,020
why does a professional
artist who can do this
267
00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:49,680
want to take a painting class?
268
00:12:50,090 --> 00:12:51,560
That is what I'm thinking.
269
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,800
Well, mainly because I'm
a huge fan of your work.
270
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,080
That series you did based
on Dante's "Inferno,"
271
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,910
the one with the guy chewing
the other guy's head off...
272
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,310
I wish I could paint like that.
273
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:04,560
You're very kind,
274
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,120
but then again, look what
you've done with these bunnies.
275
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:08,850
Um, do you start with watercolor
276
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:10,550
and then outline with rapidograph...
277
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:12,650
Actually, it's the other way around.
278
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:14,460
I have a very steady hand.
279
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:15,810
Well, clearly.
280
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,880
My compliments, Ms. Delfino.
281
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,700
Technically, this is very impressive.
282
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,570
Oh, thank you.
283
00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:23,650
So...
284
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:26,230
obviously, I'm in.
285
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,880
No. Obviously, you're out.
286
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,340
What?
287
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,750
Don't get me wrong.
You're a fine illustrator,
288
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,530
but this isn't what I call art.
289
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:39,630
Excuse me, but my paintings
have been in dozens of books,
290
00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:41,320
some of them bestsellers.
291
00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:44,760
Perhaps you've heard of
"Doctor porcupine"?
292
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,530
He has a very prickly bedside manner.
293
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:50,200
Right. But see, when you say "Art,"
294
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,270
you mean a hedgehog with a stethoscope,
295
00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:54,540
and to me, art means
reaching down your throat,
296
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:57,570
tearing your guts out,
and smearing it all over canvas.
297
00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:01,220
Anger, passion... that's what interests me.
298
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:02,690
Well, uh,
299
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:05,670
"Doctor porcupine loses a
patient and kills a hooker"
300
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,320
doesn't have the same ring to it.
301
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:10,130
I'm looking for serious
students of the medium.
302
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,340
You're a bored housewife
trying to kill time
303
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:15,470
between spin class and driving
your kid to soccer practice.
304
00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:16,770
Hey, that's not fair.
305
00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:20,080
Um, just because
I've done children's books
306
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,940
doesn't mean I can't do anything else.
307
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:24,400
Really? Do you have any work
308
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,020
that reflects what
I've been talking about?
309
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,210
Of course I do.
310
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,890
I'll bring it in tomorrow.
311
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:36,370
I would bring it in now,
but I have to pick up my son...
312
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:38,440
from prison.
313
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:44,100
In 1985, musician Bob Geldof
314
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:47,100
organized a benefit concert
to fight famine in...
315
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,130
There you are.
316
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:49,840
Though I don't know why I'm surprised.
317
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,840
It's where you've been
the last three days.
318
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,830
Guatemala. It's Guatemala!
319
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,910
- Ethiopia.
- Loser.
320
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,620
Ethiopia is correct! Congratulations.
321
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:01,710
Well, given that you won't be
322
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:04,340
making your fortune off game shows,
323
00:15:05,050 --> 00:15:07,440
perhaps it's time we had
that talk about your future.
324
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,230
Mom, I'm still healing.
325
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:10,410
My marriage fell apart.
326
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,950
You, of all people,
should know how that feels.
327
00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:15,420
Yes, and I sat in that
same chair "Healing"
328
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:18,430
and eventually turned
into a raging alcoholic.
329
00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:19,500
Oh, man.
330
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,340
Wine sounds really good right now.
331
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:22,940
We should get a bottle.
332
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:25,690
What, you can't even have a sip?
333
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,940
No! Now you need to think about
334
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,460
putting your life back together,
getting a job.
335
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,590
You have a son to consider.
336
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,660
Oh, jeez.
337
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,590
I found you!
338
00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:40,690
Now go hide, and we'll play again!
339
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:45,510
One, two, three...
340
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:47,630
Okay, there is something
I've been thinking about doing.
341
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:49,750
Oh. What job?
342
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:52,060
Retail? Waitressing?
343
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,500
Better. My own business.
344
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,180
I designed this exercise equipment,
345
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,450
and I think I could
sell it on the internet.
346
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,220
Danielle, what do you know
about starting a business?
347
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:05,980
I already have the design,
and I wrote up a business plan.
348
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,260
I think it could really work.
349
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:10,960
All I need is a little
seed money. Say $5,000?
350
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,180
$5,000?
351
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,570
Well, I need the supplies,
352
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:15,580
and I have to rent a place to work out of.
353
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:21,550
I will give you $500,
and you can use the test kitchen.
354
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,290
Seriously?
355
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:27,020
Mom, thank you so much.
This means a lot to me.
356
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,340
Well, I am very proud of you.
And you know what?
357
00:16:29,340 --> 00:16:32,690
You are setting a wonderful
example for Benjamin.
358
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,630
Oh, crap.
359
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,340
Ready or not, here I come!
360
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,910
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
361
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,180
I hope you don't mind If I have my lunch
362
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,890
while we go over our schedules.
363
00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:47,120
That's lunch?
364
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,280
Protein shake.
365
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:52,290
Just trying to stay, uh, lean and mean.
366
00:16:52,690 --> 00:16:54,010
I did that once.
367
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,940
All I got was mean.
368
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,820
Hey, I had to move my meeting
to wednesday afternoon.
369
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:00,750
Think you can pick up the kids?
370
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:03,180
I'll cover Penny's orthodontist on friday.
371
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,540
Sure. And saturday,
Parker has that birthday.
372
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:07,470
Since that's your day,
373
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:10,870
you can have him longer on sunday,
if you want.
374
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,070
Great. Yeah. Okay.
375
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,800
That is everything on my end. You?
376
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:19,650
Um, I heard back from
that couples counselor.
377
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:22,720
She can squeeze us in thursday at 6:00.
378
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:26,340
I mean, if you still
want to go to therapy.
379
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:28,850
Absolutely.
380
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:29,920
Oh.
381
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,840
I can make thursday work.
382
00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:34,700
Good. I'll book the appointment.
383
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:37,960
Hello?
384
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,470
Hey.
385
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,140
Y... hey, can I call you back?
386
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:50,090
Okay. O-okay. Hold-hold on a sec.
387
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,530
Um, this is a work thing.
388
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,840
Is there anything else you need from me?
389
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,010
Uh, no.
390
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:57,450
Okay. Okay.
391
00:17:57,450 --> 00:18:01,420
- I will... see you thursday.
- Okay.
392
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,290
Hey, sorry about that. I, uh, I was in...
393
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,420
Let me get this straight, Jill.
394
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,270
For back to school night appetizers,
395
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,940
you're suggesting pretzels?
396
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:21,880
What are we, a public school?
397
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:25,320
- Hey. Sorry.
- Hey.
398
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,730
Did you guys know there was
an A.A. meeting in the gym?
399
00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:29,700
I sat through five
"I left my kid in the car"
400
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:30,670
"while drinking" stories
401
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:32,690
before I realized I was
in the wrong place.
402
00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:34,270
Doughnut?
403
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:38,260
Gabrielle Solis.
404
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:41,610
What brings you to your
first ever P.T.A. meeting?
405
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,690
Same thing that brought
our founding fathers to...
406
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:49,010
wherever they went
407
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:51,550
when all that crap happened
with England... freedom.
408
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:55,050
- Freedom?
- Yeah, that's right.
409
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,540
Freedom to oppose an unjust ruler
410
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,890
and her unjust placard-stealing ways.
411
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:03,300
We are here to tell you your
reign of terror is over.
412
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,680
Right, girls?
413
00:19:06,590 --> 00:19:08,430
Guys, come on!
414
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,620
Melissa, have you forgotten about
415
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:14,090
the blood blister you got
hiking from the "B" lot?
416
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:17,100
And you... other woman,
417
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,230
you were 20 minutes late to your manicure.
418
00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:20,680
Show 'em your hands.
419
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,650
This can't go on.
420
00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:26,800
She's right.
421
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,630
Yeah. Tell her, Gaby.
422
00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:31,920
According to your sacred rule book,
423
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,890
which, by the way, is a snore fest,
424
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,080
a group of five parents can
seek a vote of no confidence
425
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,360
in a president.
426
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:44,450
So... I guess we'll be
taking that vote now.
427
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:47,220
Melissa, Rachel...
428
00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,640
You sure you want to do this?
429
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,580
No. It's an obvious bribe.
430
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:00,990
- Well, it worked.
- Yeah.
431
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:02,650
What?
432
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,860
Guess we won't be having
that vote after all.
433
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,470
So what? What more can you do to me?
434
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,630
I already park in the "B" lot.
435
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:31,160
Nice, mom.
436
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:41,090
Hello!
437
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:44,830
Mom. I, uh, I asked you
not to come in here.
438
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,360
I am not staying. I just thought
439
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:50,250
my little entrepreneurs
could use some lemonade.
440
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,240
So...
441
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,510
This is it, the big internet start-up.
442
00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:57,210
Yes, and for your information,
443
00:20:57,210 --> 00:21:00,740
as soon as we put up the site,
they started selling like crazy.
444
00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:02,850
Over 200 of 'em.
445
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:05,530
Well, I stand corrected. Good for you.
446
00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:09,120
So how exactly does this
exercise equipment work?
447
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,760
Uh uh well, it kind of incorporates pilates
448
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,620
and stretching.
449
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,540
It's really more for serious athletes.
450
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:19,430
That might be another order.
I should get that.
451
00:21:19,430 --> 00:21:21,770
But could you take Benjamin
to go get some lunch?
452
00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:23,870
Of course. Benjy.
453
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,740
Hello. X-stasy sex swing.
454
00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:33,380
We put the swing back in your sex life.
455
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:35,650
Yes, it can support up to 300 pounds.
456
00:21:35,650 --> 00:21:37,380
And we guarantee maximum pleasure
457
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,880
for you and your partner.
458
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,680
Ready?
459
00:21:46,420 --> 00:21:47,330
Is this for me?
460
00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:49,090
Unless you know another Penny Scavo
461
00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:51,830
with an incredibly generous mom.
462
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,400
- Look, it even has a camera.
- Cool!
463
00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:57,340
But my birthday was last month.
464
00:21:57,340 --> 00:22:00,500
I know, but this way,
when you're at your dad's,
465
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,020
we can video chat,
466
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,370
like, when you need help with homework
467
00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:06,130
or you've been having trouble with math.
468
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:07,560
No, I haven't.
469
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,300
Well, you might. So... bring it.
470
00:22:10,570 --> 00:22:11,820
Okay?
471
00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:21,770
Hey, sweetie. Long time no see.
472
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,470
Mom, you just dropped me off..
473
00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:26,460
Really? It feels like forever.
474
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:29,250
The gum you gave me in
the car still has flavor.
475
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,880
Well, I miss you.
476
00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:32,900
Actually, since you called,
477
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:35,450
we're multiplying mixed fractions,
and I'm kind of...
478
00:22:35,450 --> 00:22:37,160
I know what you mean.
Can you move your head?
479
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,030
Uh, sure.
480
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,540
So do I need a common denominator?
481
00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:44,020
Honey, the sun's creating a glare.
482
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:46,880
Would you mind turning
your screen just a scooch?
483
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,280
Okay.
484
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,480
Dad's new place looks nice.
485
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,630
Yeah, it is.
486
00:22:53,630 --> 00:22:56,420
Hey! You know what might be fun?
487
00:22:56,420 --> 00:22:57,910
Why don't you give me a tour?
488
00:22:58,730 --> 00:23:02,080
Just turn your tablet
around and scan the room.
489
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:07,470
Oh, big-screen TV.
490
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:10,430
There's a 9.0 on the predictability scale.
491
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,950
Empty pizza box, dirty plate, dirty glass.
492
00:23:15,330 --> 00:23:17,780
It's nice he's kept
the same decorating scheme.
493
00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:19,480
My arms are getting tired.
494
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,540
Little longer. Think light thoughts.
495
00:23:22,890 --> 00:23:24,350
Stop. Go back.
496
00:23:24,350 --> 00:23:28,590
I want to see your dad's
new lovely... curtains.
497
00:23:30,670 --> 00:23:31,510
Wow.
498
00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:34,010
They're nice.
499
00:23:34,070 --> 00:23:36,360
But they seem a little young for him.
500
00:23:38,940 --> 00:23:40,330
Who is that?
501
00:23:40,330 --> 00:23:41,630
That's Chloe.
502
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:44,740
She lives in the building.
She's really nice.
503
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,360
Apparently.
504
00:23:48,730 --> 00:23:51,920
So... is Chloe around a lot?
505
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,420
Sometimes.
506
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:55,470
She teaches a Booty Burn Ballet class,
507
00:23:55,470 --> 00:23:57,780
so she's mostly at the fitness center.
508
00:23:58,570 --> 00:24:01,120
Hey, Mom. Dad's got black toilets.
509
00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:02,360
You wanna see them?
510
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:05,190
No, thanks. I've seen enough.
511
00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:07,510
Okay. So when I multiply these fractions...
512
00:24:07,510 --> 00:24:09,780
Okay, sweetie, I love you.
513
00:24:17,710 --> 00:24:20,420
- Oh, that's different.
- Mm-hmm.
514
00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:22,090
What does this mean to you?
515
00:24:22,090 --> 00:24:25,740
Loneliness, isolation,
516
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:30,030
not long ago, this tree
was lush and green,
517
00:24:30,030 --> 00:24:32,710
but now it's, uh, lost its leaves,
518
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,130
and winter's ahead.
519
00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:39,220
And it's just doing
what it can to survive.
520
00:24:42,820 --> 00:24:45,420
So let me guess... you're the tree.
521
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,830
Oh, okay.
522
00:24:50,830 --> 00:24:54,140
You're... mocking me again.
523
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:54,920
Well, good-bye.
524
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,140
Hold on. We're having
an artistic dialogue here.
525
00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:00,120
I bet your night went
something like this...
526
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,600
You went home and asked yourself,
527
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,290
"How do I prove to Andre
Zeller that I'm deep?"
528
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,160
So you dug down through the cupcakes
529
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,310
and the throw pillows
530
00:25:09,310 --> 00:25:13,300
and the once-a-week sex of
your life to your very core,
531
00:25:13,310 --> 00:25:15,850
and you found this sad little tree.
532
00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:18,480
"And it's so profound"
533
00:25:18,490 --> 00:25:20,700
"because the tree's lonely, just like I am"
534
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:22,780
"now that 'oprah's' off the air."
535
00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:27,180
How dare you.
536
00:25:27,910 --> 00:25:29,740
You don't know anything about me.
537
00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:32,170
What's to know? You're shallow,
538
00:25:32,180 --> 00:25:34,010
and your work is shallow, and god bless,
539
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:36,470
because if I had your life,
I'd be painting bunnies, too.
540
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:38,160
You want everything to be nice and pretty.
541
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,110
You're afraid of ugly.
542
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,810
You-you think I'm afraid of ugly?
543
00:25:47,290 --> 00:25:48,820
You want ugly?
544
00:25:49,810 --> 00:25:51,150
There.
545
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:53,160
There's some ugly for you.
546
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,860
You want passion?
547
00:25:55,650 --> 00:25:57,230
Well, here you go. There's passion.
548
00:25:57,230 --> 00:25:58,980
Passion all over the place.
549
00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:02,400
You know, I am not some
shallow soccer mom.
550
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,170
I have done things that you can't believe.
551
00:26:04,170 --> 00:26:06,010
I have anger!
552
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,260
And I have pain!
553
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:13,140
I have secrets in me that I wish...
554
00:26:13,830 --> 00:26:16,270
I could get rid of, and I can't!
555
00:26:19,860 --> 00:26:23,030
It's fine. You know, you...
you've made your mind up about me.
556
00:26:23,030 --> 00:26:26,460
So screw your class, screw your medium.
557
00:26:26,810 --> 00:26:28,500
Screw you!
558
00:27:06,820 --> 00:27:08,270
Ah, there you are.
559
00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:10,680
Hey, do you have a recipe for...
560
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:14,200
Oh. Congratulations.
561
00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:15,740
For what?
562
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,690
Well, I didn't know you and
Chuck were back together.
563
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:20,080
We're not.
564
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:23,530
Well, then why are you
wearing a sex swing?
565
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,140
A what?
566
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,920
Oh, no. This is, uh,
Danielle's new business.
567
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,320
She's making exercise equipment.
568
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,660
Uh, yeah,
569
00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:38,950
for a very specific kind of exercise.
570
00:27:42,030 --> 00:27:43,890
Sex swing?
571
00:27:44,550 --> 00:27:46,870
I've never even heard of such a thing.
572
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,490
Now don't try this one
if you get dizzy easily.
573
00:27:55,670 --> 00:27:56,790
Mom?
574
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,420
Exercise equipment?
575
00:27:59,740 --> 00:28:02,870
When I get out of this,
you are in so much trouble!
576
00:28:03,190 --> 00:28:05,030
I'll write you a check later.
577
00:28:05,860 --> 00:28:07,710
A sex swing in my test kitchen?
578
00:28:07,710 --> 00:28:11,320
Do you realize I used to make
people wear hairnets in here?
579
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,960
Danielle, I am very disappointed in you.
580
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,570
Gosh, where have I heard that before?
581
00:28:16,580 --> 00:28:19,400
Oh, don't you try to
turn this around on me!
582
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,140
For the first time in my life,
583
00:28:21,140 --> 00:28:24,440
I found something that
I'm good at and that's successful,
584
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,510
and that's still not good enough for you!
585
00:28:27,230 --> 00:28:29,540
You just live to judge me.
586
00:28:30,530 --> 00:28:31,590
Danielle.
587
00:28:31,590 --> 00:28:33,400
Danielle, where are you going?!
588
00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:38,630
No, I'm telling you. It was bad.
589
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,940
Andre probably called the looney bin,
590
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:43,690
and they're on their way here
right now with a butterfly net.
591
00:28:43,690 --> 00:28:44,980
It's okay, babe.
592
00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:48,160
No, it's not. I just ran out of there.
593
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,660
I-I-I forgot my portfolio.
594
00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:53,550
I don't know what the hell came over me.
595
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,820
Susan...
596
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:57,920
I know how badly you want
597
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,900
what happened in the woods to go away,
598
00:29:00,150 --> 00:29:02,170
but I have to tell you the truth.
599
00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:04,090
It's not going to.
600
00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:05,950
It's part of you.
601
00:29:06,780 --> 00:29:09,030
No. N... mnh.
602
00:29:09,410 --> 00:29:11,230
I-I don't want it to be.
603
00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:12,480
I don't want it to be either,
604
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,250
just like I don't want
my dark stuff to be part of me,
605
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,810
but it is.
606
00:29:17,670 --> 00:29:20,410
Mike, please. Please stop saying this.
607
00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:22,130
I'm trying to protect you.
608
00:29:24,340 --> 00:29:28,170
If you can accept this as part of you,
609
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:31,380
maybe you can figure out
how to live with it.
610
00:29:33,030 --> 00:29:34,680
But if you don't,
611
00:29:35,980 --> 00:29:38,780
that's when it jumps out without warning.
612
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,220
And trust me,
613
00:29:43,670 --> 00:29:45,590
that's a bad way to live.
614
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:53,980
So...
615
00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:57,770
things are never gonna
be the way they were?
616
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,490
Things...
617
00:30:00,490 --> 00:30:02,400
are how they are.
618
00:30:08,150 --> 00:30:09,190
You okay?
619
00:30:09,580 --> 00:30:11,540
Mommy, will you check my math worksheet?
620
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:13,040
It's really hard.
621
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,410
Sure. Sure, honey.
622
00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:38,620
In case you're wondering how I got here,
623
00:30:38,620 --> 00:30:41,910
the U.P.S. man heard
my cries and cut me down.
624
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,530
Suffice it to say, we're FedEx people now.
625
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,610
Look, I know you think
that I am judgmental.
626
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,040
Think?
627
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,200
"Danielle, you should've gone to college."
628
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,450
"Danielle, you dress like a streetwalker."
629
00:30:54,450 --> 00:30:57,440
"Danielle, I knew
your marriage wouldn't last."
630
00:30:57,450 --> 00:30:59,040
Yeah, a little bit.
631
00:30:59,970 --> 00:31:02,230
What I was going to say is you're right.
632
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,300
Why are you admitting this?
633
00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:07,360
Because I thought about what you said,
634
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,510
and I realize I am far from perfect.
635
00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:11,860
I have no right to be so critical.
636
00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:14,490
Okay, now you're freaking me out.
637
00:31:15,050 --> 00:31:16,530
Did something happen?
638
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:21,970
Just know that a certain recent... event
639
00:31:22,050 --> 00:31:25,520
made me aware that I am
in no position to judge you
640
00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:27,290
or anyone else.
641
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,530
What are you talking about?
642
00:31:31,460 --> 00:31:32,130
It doesn't matter.
643
00:31:32,130 --> 00:31:33,370
The point is...
644
00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:37,290
can you forgive me?
645
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,200
Wow.
646
00:31:41,370 --> 00:31:43,620
That's, like, the first
time you've ever said that.
647
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:47,960
Thank you. And...
648
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,420
yes, I forgive you.
649
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,810
And to prove that I am sincere,
650
00:31:53,810 --> 00:31:55,660
I would like to invest in your business
651
00:31:55,660 --> 00:31:56,810
and support you in making
652
00:31:56,810 --> 00:32:01,320
those disgusting-ly happy swings.
653
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,640
You mean like a silent partner?
654
00:32:03,650 --> 00:32:05,740
A silent, invisible,
655
00:32:05,750 --> 00:32:08,290
and completely untraceable partner
656
00:32:08,290 --> 00:32:11,900
who supports you from far, far away.
657
00:32:13,490 --> 00:32:14,910
I love you, sweetie.
658
00:32:15,550 --> 00:32:16,930
I love you, too.
659
00:32:21,010 --> 00:32:23,310
Now... go pack up your sex factory,
660
00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:25,440
and I will bake us some cookies.
661
00:32:31,410 --> 00:32:34,110
You're about to paint
a hundred bad paintings,
662
00:32:34,290 --> 00:32:35,560
so let's get those out of the way
663
00:32:35,570 --> 00:32:38,260
so you can start painting the good ones.
664
00:32:40,710 --> 00:32:41,860
What are you doing?
665
00:32:42,250 --> 00:32:44,860
Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
666
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:47,280
Sit down.
667
00:32:47,950 --> 00:32:49,040
Excuse me?
668
00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:50,890
Sit down. You're late.
669
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,270
Does that mean you're
letting me join the class?
670
00:32:57,300 --> 00:32:58,470
For now.
671
00:32:59,190 --> 00:33:02,230
But that woman who showed up
yesterday... the crazy one...
672
00:33:02,770 --> 00:33:04,780
she better be here every single day.
673
00:33:07,890 --> 00:33:09,780
I-I don't know if I like that woman.
674
00:33:09,780 --> 00:33:11,380
She scares me.
675
00:33:12,470 --> 00:33:13,430
Good.
676
00:33:15,590 --> 00:33:17,690
Okay, I want you to start
677
00:33:17,690 --> 00:33:20,650
by forgetting everything
you heard about brush technique.
678
00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:21,670
I've seen your painting.
679
00:33:21,670 --> 00:33:23,610
Either you heard it wrong,
680
00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:25,540
or it was wrong.
681
00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:33,270
Hey. Are you ready for our walk?
682
00:33:33,270 --> 00:33:34,400
Actually, change of plans.
683
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,880
I thought we'd go to that
booty burn ballet class
684
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,420
- at the fitness center.
- What's going on?
685
00:33:39,530 --> 00:33:42,460
Nothing. Can't a woman
just wanna burn her booty?
686
00:33:43,910 --> 00:33:45,650
Fine. I think you're right
about Tom seeing someone.
687
00:33:45,650 --> 00:33:47,580
She's an aerobics teacher.
688
00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:50,790
Of course she is. Cliche much?
689
00:33:50,790 --> 00:33:53,240
So I'm thinking,
I'll go to her class, and I'll...
690
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,580
Actually, I-I don't know
what the hell I'm thinking.
691
00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:57,270
You're thinking you
wanna spy on this woman
692
00:33:57,270 --> 00:33:59,490
and see what she's like,
then key her car on the way out.
693
00:33:59,490 --> 00:34:01,240
It's perfectly natural.
694
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,430
So I'm not crazy?
I shouldn't just be direct
695
00:34:03,430 --> 00:34:05,320
and ask Tom if he's seeing someone?
696
00:34:05,330 --> 00:34:06,660
Why? So he can lie to you
697
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:08,740
through his unnaturally white teeth?
698
00:34:09,350 --> 00:34:10,490
Okay, then.
699
00:34:10,660 --> 00:34:11,580
I guess we're going.
700
00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:14,260
Yeah. Uh, booty burn ballet...
701
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:15,440
think we can do this?
702
00:34:15,450 --> 00:34:17,460
Oh, please. How hard can it be?
703
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,430
Am I the only one about to pass out?
704
00:34:21,430 --> 00:34:24,220
No. I keep seeing my dead grandfather
705
00:34:24,220 --> 00:34:25,050
at the end of the tunnel,
706
00:34:25,050 --> 00:34:27,900
saying "Come toward the light."
707
00:34:27,930 --> 00:34:31,740
Keep going, ladies.
Keep your eyes on the thighs!
708
00:34:31,740 --> 00:34:34,290
Did she just use a civil
rights rallying cry
709
00:34:34,290 --> 00:34:36,580
to get us to lose ass fat?
710
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,090
First time, huh?
711
00:34:38,090 --> 00:34:40,290
Oh, what gave me away?
712
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,930
The fact that this was
light blue when I came in?
713
00:34:42,930 --> 00:34:44,850
Well, the good news is
714
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:47,160
if you have a heart attack, I'm a doctor.
715
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,020
The bad news is if you have one, I'm not.
716
00:34:50,030 --> 00:34:52,560
Okay, so if I die,
717
00:34:52,820 --> 00:34:55,040
please put me ass up in the coffin.
718
00:34:55,050 --> 00:34:57,510
I'd hate for all this work to go to waste.
719
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,710
On your feet, ladies.
720
00:35:00,460 --> 00:35:02,960
Okay, we've checked out the competition.
721
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,140
Can we go now?
722
00:35:04,140 --> 00:35:05,230
No.
723
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:06,760
I want to talk to her.
724
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,360
Okay, everybody,
725
00:35:08,390 --> 00:35:10,520
time to work those quads.
726
00:35:12,170 --> 00:35:14,540
I don't know who I hate
more right now... you or her.
727
00:35:14,550 --> 00:35:15,890
50 lunges!
728
00:35:15,890 --> 00:35:18,490
Jump towards your skinny, skinny future.
729
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,280
And we have a winner.
730
00:35:26,060 --> 00:35:27,260
Hi. It's Mrs. Solis.
731
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:29,330
Can you tell Sean I'm running
about 20 minutes late
732
00:35:29,330 --> 00:35:31,480
for my brow-waxing appointment?
733
00:35:32,970 --> 00:35:35,140
What? You can't hold it for me?
734
00:35:35,140 --> 00:35:37,630
But I've got caterpillars over my eyes.
735
00:35:39,110 --> 00:35:40,920
Fine. I'll be there in five minutes.
736
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,260
Juanita, get back in the car.
737
00:35:44,390 --> 00:35:46,320
We're going drop-off.
738
00:35:55,350 --> 00:35:57,280
Gaby, what are you doin'?
739
00:35:57,290 --> 00:35:59,580
You can't be in the carpool
lane without a placard.
740
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:02,420
Don't give a crap. It's time
somebody taught Dana a lesson.
741
00:36:02,420 --> 00:36:05,000
We need to break
the back of our oppressor.
742
00:36:14,210 --> 00:36:16,010
Mobilize the cones!
743
00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:25,300
Get out, sweetie. Go. Go. Go, go, go!
744
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,980
I'm never gonna get that eyebrow wax.
745
00:36:47,780 --> 00:36:51,240
Again, Dana, I am so sorry.
746
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,720
On the upside, that cast is so slimming.
747
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,660
It's like a hard spanx.
748
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,650
Gaby, there's a reason I asked to see you.
749
00:37:00,780 --> 00:37:03,080
You wanted to give me my placard back.
750
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,050
No. Could you hand me those painkillers?
751
00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:10,710
I just wanted to bring you up to date
752
00:37:10,710 --> 00:37:12,860
on some school-related news.
753
00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:14,250
Given my condition,
754
00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,560
they've informed me
that I'm no longer able
755
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,170
to carry out my duties
as P.T.A. president.
756
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,520
That's a bummer.
757
00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:23,480
Yes, it is.
758
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:28,750
The bylaws state I'm to
appoint an acting president,
759
00:37:28,750 --> 00:37:30,320
and I've made my decision.
760
00:37:32,210 --> 00:37:33,260
Me?
761
00:37:34,470 --> 00:37:35,860
Wait. You hate me.
762
00:37:36,050 --> 00:37:37,020
Very perceptive.
763
00:37:37,020 --> 00:37:39,340
That'll serve you well
as P.T.A. president.
764
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,120
W... okay, wait.
765
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,770
Why are you doing this?
766
00:37:44,140 --> 00:37:47,090
Let me tell you what I was
like before I took this job.
767
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,380
I was fun.
768
00:37:48,550 --> 00:37:50,310
I drank at school functions.
769
00:37:50,310 --> 00:37:52,540
My boob fell out at the holiday party.
770
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,690
I still had a husband.
771
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,700
So what turned you into this?
772
00:37:57,820 --> 00:37:59,840
The job did. Mm-hmm.
773
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,320
And it's gonna do the same to you.
774
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,970
Yeah, no time for manicures
775
00:38:03,970 --> 00:38:06,890
'cause you'll be planning the winter gala.
776
00:38:07,670 --> 00:38:09,080
No more seeing your husband
777
00:38:09,090 --> 00:38:11,500
because you'll be
organizing the bake sale.
778
00:38:11,500 --> 00:38:12,790
And no more friends,
779
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:15,920
because you'll always be
hitting them up for something.
780
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:20,080
Well, as attractive as your
little revenge fantasy sounds,
781
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,410
I'm gonna pass.
782
00:38:21,410 --> 00:38:25,270
Then I guess I'm gonna have
to go ahead and press charges.
783
00:38:26,530 --> 00:38:28,920
What are you talking about?
It was an accident.
784
00:38:29,490 --> 00:38:31,090
I have witnesses
785
00:38:31,090 --> 00:38:34,450
who heard you say you were
going to break my back.
786
00:38:34,830 --> 00:38:37,520
And I do have a broken back.
787
00:38:45,980 --> 00:38:47,650
So the winter gala...
788
00:38:48,610 --> 00:38:50,180
it's in the winter, right?
789
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:54,210
That's interesting. Interesting.
790
00:38:54,210 --> 00:38:56,290
So really, you have three careers.
791
00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:58,960
You're a aerobics instructor,
aromatherapist,
792
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:00,860
and a lingerie model.
793
00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:04,210
Well, lingerie modeling is
more of a hobby than a career.
794
00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:06,060
Oh. But when god gives you these...
795
00:39:06,650 --> 00:39:07,430
Right.
796
00:39:07,430 --> 00:39:09,450
Are you sure god gave you those?
797
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,260
I'm just kidding.
798
00:39:11,260 --> 00:39:13,540
I'm just kidding.
It's nice talking to you, Chloe.
799
00:39:14,470 --> 00:39:15,100
Ready to go?
800
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:16,090
Yes.
801
00:39:16,090 --> 00:39:16,610
So?
802
00:39:16,610 --> 00:39:19,760
Well, obviously, I'm not thrilled.
Look at her.
803
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,220
But it could be worse.
804
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:22,520
How?
805
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:23,740
She could look like that
806
00:39:23,740 --> 00:39:26,190
and have a single thought in her head.
807
00:39:26,190 --> 00:39:28,140
I mean, there's no way Tom's
ever gonna get serious
808
00:39:28,150 --> 00:39:29,490
about a woman like that, right?
809
00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:32,200
- Yeah. She's just a fling.
- Mm.
810
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,730
A palate cleanser.
811
00:39:33,730 --> 00:39:36,050
The sorbet you eat between courses.
812
00:39:36,090 --> 00:39:38,100
I'm really sorry I said that.
813
00:39:38,740 --> 00:39:41,100
I give the whole thing three weeks.
814
00:39:41,350 --> 00:39:42,400
Lynette?
815
00:39:44,670 --> 00:39:49,320
Hey! Tom. What's-what's going on?
816
00:39:49,810 --> 00:39:51,560
- I'll meet you at the car.
- Okay.
817
00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:55,200
Wh-what are you doing here?
818
00:39:57,490 --> 00:39:58,590
I know.
819
00:39:59,510 --> 00:40:00,500
Know what?
820
00:40:01,610 --> 00:40:02,540
Wh...
821
00:40:04,450 --> 00:40:05,440
Okay.
822
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,290
We just had dinner a couple of times.
823
00:40:08,290 --> 00:40:10,010
There's nothing going on.
824
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,020
Whatever.
825
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,170
So this is how you're gonna be
spending your free time now,
826
00:40:18,170 --> 00:40:19,550
spying on me?
827
00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:21,220
Well, that's a brilliant strategy, Tom.
828
00:40:21,220 --> 00:40:22,370
Act like I'm the one in the wrong.
829
00:40:22,370 --> 00:40:24,700
You're the one dating the underwear model.
830
00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,510
What are you talking about?
831
00:40:29,890 --> 00:40:31,900
Chloe? I'm not dating Chloe.
832
00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:34,350
Jeez, Lynette, give me a little credit.
833
00:40:34,350 --> 00:40:36,840
Then you have you been having
dinner with? Why are you here?
834
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,080
I am picking up Jane, Chloe's mom.
835
00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:50,320
Like I said, it's just
a couple of dinners and coffee.
836
00:40:50,710 --> 00:40:52,190
Oh, it's coffee now?
837
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,750
God, Tom, when were you
gonna tell me this?
838
00:40:55,230 --> 00:40:57,800
Thursday, in counseling.
839
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:01,770
You ready to go?
840
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:03,290
Yeah.
841
00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:06,790
Lynette, we'll talk about
this thursday, right?
842
00:41:07,390 --> 00:41:08,730
What's the point?
843
00:41:12,410 --> 00:41:16,950
Yes, we often learn
our most important lessons
844
00:41:16,950 --> 00:41:19,200
outside the classroom...
845
00:41:21,650 --> 00:41:25,750
The painful truth about
the state of a relationship...
846
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:32,120
the ugly cost of challenging authority...
847
00:41:33,810 --> 00:41:38,500
the sad fact that life's
colors aren't always rosy...
848
00:41:40,940 --> 00:41:42,210
Then there are those
849
00:41:42,210 --> 00:41:46,230
who refuse to accept
these important lessons.
850
00:41:46,990 --> 00:41:49,720
They simply wait for the chance
851
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,950
to teach a lesson of their own.
852
00:41:56,370 --> 00:41:58,640
Don't tell me you're still
stewing about that redhead.
853
00:42:00,330 --> 00:42:02,150
Well, I'm not a big fan of getting led on
854
00:42:02,150 --> 00:42:05,420
and humiliated, so, yeah, I'm not...
855
00:42:05,930 --> 00:42:07,810
Don't think I'm letting
go of this one yet.
856
00:42:07,810 --> 00:42:09,060
Suit yourself.
857
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,070
I got some missing person
reports here for you.
858
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,520
Just toss 'em over there.
859
00:42:23,330 --> 00:42:26,890
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