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Previously on Desperate housewives.
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We have some serious problems
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that are gonna require serious work.
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Lynette and Tom struggled
with their separation.
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Mike heard a confession...
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I killed Gaby's stepfather.
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Aah! Uhh!
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And me and the girls helped cover it up.
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That could change
his life with Susan forever.
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Bree showed Gaby the note...
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Let's say someone knows.
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I say until they tell us what they want,
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we just act like everything's normal.
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And decided she needed
to end her relationship
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with detective Vance.
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You know, Bree, I would
have done anything for you.
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You have made a very big mistake.
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It's often said that children learn
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their most important lessons
outside the classroom.
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They learn to find peaceful
ways to resolve conflict...
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to make smart choices about nutrition...
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to master the art of conversation.
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But for Gabrielle Solis,
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the art of morning drop-off...
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What's taking so long? Come on! Let's go!
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Was something she'd never learned.
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You slow down, push the kid out,
and drive off!
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Why is it so hard?!
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You realize I have to go
to this school, right?
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Oh, come on. I'm behind
the wheelchair kid?
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That's it, Juanita. Get out.
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I'm not allowed till
we get to the green zone
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and a volunteer opens the door.
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Remember what happened last week?
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Yeah, last week I made it
to my hot stone massage.
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Just keep your head down,
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pretend like you don't
speak english, and run.
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Hold it!
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Ohh.
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Hi, Dana. I didn't see you there.
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Looks like someone didn't learn her lesson
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You're out.
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Wh... Hey!
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I need that!
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Your drop-off privileges
have been revoked.
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From now on, you'll be
parking in the "B" lot
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- and walking Juanita to class.
- The "B" lot?
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That's, like, a mile away.
These don't walk.
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They do now.
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Oh, yeah? Well, who died
and made you boss?
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Margaret Frye. Cancer.
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Oh. Right. I still owe for those flowers.
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Oh, relax, Pam! You'll still
make it to weight watchers!
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Problem here, Dana?
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Oh, great. Now the pips are here.
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It's Solis again.
She's holding up traffic.
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Yeah, and I'm not moving till
you give me back my placard.
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Oh, Pam, eat a carrot!
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Tell you what.
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If you can take the placard
from me, you can keep it.
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You know what? I'm not a child.
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I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction...
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Oh!
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You know what, Dana?
Just because you're head of P.T.A.
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doesn't mean you get to make the laws!
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Oh, I have news for you.
Here at Oakridge, I am the law.
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Yes, some of our most important lessons
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are learned outside the class room.
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And when it came to school politics,
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Gabrielle's education was just beginning.
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When it came to her separation,
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Lynette Scavo was determined
to do everything by the book.
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She made sure her visitation days
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were evenly divided.
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She kept perfect records
of her household expenses.
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She found healthy ways
to relieve her stress.
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Yes, Lynette was confident
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her by-the-book approach
was the right one,
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sadly, not everyone was on the same page.
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Well, look who cleaned
out the sad-sack aisle
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at the bookstore.
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At least your divorce is good
for the publishing industry.
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We're not using the "D" word.
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It's a separation.
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Tom and I are going to
"Heal through counseling"
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so we can find "A road to reconnection"
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and if not,
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"Murder on the orient express."
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Penny, your dad's here!
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Explain something to me.
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If you're trying to win back your husband,
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why do you dress like you
sell oranges by the freeway?
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Hey. Sorry I'm late.
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I had to stop at the store,
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and it took longer than I expected.
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Because you tawt you taw a puddy tat?
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Ha ha.
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It's just a teeth whitener.
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Teeth whitening, huh?
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And unless sweat suits are
the new business casual,
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it looks like you're working out, too.
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I'm trying. It helps cheer me
up when the kids aren't around.
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- Daddy!
- Hey!
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Oh! Remember to get Parker at practice.
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- I love you. Have fun at your dad's.
- I love you. Bye.
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Drive safe.
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Hmm.
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I've got a new book title for you...
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"Your husband's banging somebody."
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What?
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Chapter one... white teeth.
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Chapter two... working out.
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Chapter three... the nasty.
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He's just trying to take
better care of himself.
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Oh, Lynette.
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I expect you to be naive about hair,
makeup, and fashion,
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but about this?
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Trust me. Tom has hooked up.
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He's not. He's not. If he was...
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dating someone,
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he would tell me.
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He would.
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Right?
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- That doesn't look too suspicious.
- Oh.
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I'm sorry. Just...
every time I check the mail,
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I'm afraid it's gonna be
another one of those letters.
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It's been three weeks.
Maybe we're out of the woods.
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Please don't say "Woods."
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I'm just saying, if someone
was trying to blackmail us,
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they're not very good at it,
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since they haven't asked
for money or anything.
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Well, what happened to them?
Did they just disappear?
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If we're lucky.
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Now that Chuck the cop
is out of your life,
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Susan's acting normal,
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I think we're in the clear.
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Oh, good. Here they are. Hmm.
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Oh, Danielle and Benjamin.
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Fun. What's the occasion?
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Her husband left her.
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Ugh. Okay. Well, I'd stay and say hi,
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but that would involve a lot
of listening and sad nodding.
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Oh, honey, I am so sorry
about you and Leo.
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Thanks, mom.
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Not that I didn't see it coming.
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That didn't take long.
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Neither did the marriage.
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So how are you holding up?
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My husband left me. It sucks.
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But you know how that feels.
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You just got dumped by that cop, right?
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Um...
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Actually, I am the one
who ended it with Chuck.
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He wanted to marry me, bought me a ring,
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but that's not important.
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This week...
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or weeks is about you.
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We are gonna make a plan to
put your life back together.
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A plan? Mom, this all just happened.
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Give me a few days to eat
ice cream and veg out.
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Of course, honey.
I promised you on your wedding day
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that I would be here when he left you.
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You know what?
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Maybe we'll just crash on Andrew's floor.
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What? That's so uncomfortable.
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Not as bad as staying here and
getting picked apart by you.
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I promise I won't criticize you.
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Besides, if you sleep on Andrew's floor,
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you'll need a tetanus shot.
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What? I said I wouldn't criticize you.
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I didn't say anything about your brother.
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Okay, I know that last night
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I said you could take
all the time you need
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to work through what
Carlos and I told you,
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but...
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while you're taking all the time you need,
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you think you could maybe...
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tell me that you still love me?
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I mean...
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if you still love me?
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There is nothing you could do
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that would make me stop loving you.
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Mike, it was so hard
to keep this from you,
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like, the hardest thing I've ever done.
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Well, at least I understand
why you've been so distant.
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And to be honest,
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I'm kind of relieved you
weren't having an affair.
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Well, now that you know,
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I just want everything
to go back to normal.
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Okay, but I hope you realize
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it might not be that easy.
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Take it from a guy who's
done things like this.
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They don't just disappear.
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Yeah, I know that.
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But I think if I focus on other stuff
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and move on with my life,
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it'll be okay.
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Great.
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And first step?
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I'm taking a painting
class at the college.
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It's being taught by Andre Zeller.
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Okay, that means nothing to you.
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It's like I'm taking a football class
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from Peyton Manning.
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00:10:14,496 --> 00:10:15,589
Whoa.
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It's just what I need.
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I think it'll be a great way
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to take my mind off
everything that's happened.
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So I'm gonna get my portfolio together.
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Mr. Zeller has to approve
all his students.
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Not that I'm worried.
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00:10:29,392 --> 00:10:30,689
Oh, and, Mike,
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from now on, I swear,
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no more secrets between us.
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Is that my school?
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The tiny, little building way down there?
219
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It would've been faster
if we just walked from home.
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Hey.
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First time in the "B" lot, huh?
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00:10:56,664 --> 00:10:58,576
- Welcome.
- What are you in for?
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00:10:59,037 --> 00:11:00,066
Practically nothing.
224
00:11:00,066 --> 00:11:02,053
I let my kid get out
of the car by herself.
225
00:11:02,085 --> 00:11:04,775
- Ooh.
- Dana take your placard?
226
00:11:04,775 --> 00:11:07,685
Yeah, but I'll get it
back in a day or two.
227
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,393
Are you kidding?
228
00:11:10,393 --> 00:11:12,430
She'll have you in here
for the rest of the year.
229
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:14,613
What? She can't do that.
230
00:11:14,613 --> 00:11:15,822
Oh, you wanna bet?
231
00:11:15,822 --> 00:11:18,587
I took a cell phone
call in the green zone.
232
00:11:18,986 --> 00:11:20,337
That was two months ago.
233
00:11:20,337 --> 00:11:23,514
My kid had peanut butter
crackers in his lunchbox.
234
00:11:23,514 --> 00:11:25,178
I'm looking at four to six.
235
00:11:25,178 --> 00:11:26,624
This is crazy.
236
00:11:26,624 --> 00:11:28,464
No, this is Dana.
237
00:11:28,464 --> 00:11:30,169
Dana "The pain-a." Pfft!
238
00:11:30,169 --> 00:11:32,083
Dana "You better not complain-a."
239
00:11:32,494 --> 00:11:34,565
Dana "Power's driving me insane-a."
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00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:37,712
Oh, my god. Is this what
the "B" lot does to you?
241
00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:40,782
That, four kids,
and the flask in her purse.
242
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:43,584
Well, if everyone thinks
she's such a pain-a,
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how'd she get the job?
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It's an elected position.
We voted for her.
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00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:50,006
Well, not me. I don't vote.
246
00:11:50,673 --> 00:11:52,661
All right, when's the next P.T.A. meeting?
247
00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:54,055
There's one thursday.
248
00:11:54,055 --> 00:11:57,307
Okay. I say we band together,
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00:11:57,434 --> 00:12:00,570
storm that meeting, and go all
"Braveheart" on Dana's ass.
250
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:01,796
Who's with me?
251
00:12:04,151 --> 00:12:05,604
You guys not seen "Braveheart"?
252
00:12:06,049 --> 00:12:09,085
I know it's an old reference,
but this is when you go, "Yeah!"
253
00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:11,197
Yeah.
254
00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:12,865
Oh, god. Come on.
255
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:15,431
If every fed-up mom in
this "B" lot shows up,
256
00:12:15,431 --> 00:12:17,845
we can break our shackles,
get our placards back.
257
00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:19,784
We can... oh! The movie "300."
258
00:12:19,784 --> 00:12:22,756
This is Sparta!
259
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:23,804
You've seen that, right?
260
00:12:23,804 --> 00:12:25,225
Yeah!
261
00:12:25,225 --> 00:12:28,097
Okay. I'll see you ladies thursday.
262
00:12:34,085 --> 00:12:35,115
Mm-hmm.
263
00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:38,284
This is excellent work.
264
00:12:39,553 --> 00:12:41,118
Thank you, Mr. Zeller.
265
00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:43,243
Now I know what you're thinking...
266
00:12:43,631 --> 00:12:47,170
why does a professional
artist who can do this
267
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:48,833
want to take a painting class?
268
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,715
That is what I'm thinking.
269
00:12:50,715 --> 00:12:53,957
Well, mainly because I'm
a huge fan of your work.
270
00:12:53,957 --> 00:12:57,232
That series you did based
on Dante's "Inferno,"
271
00:12:57,232 --> 00:13:00,069
the one with the guy chewing
the other guy's head off...
272
00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,463
I wish I could paint like that.
273
00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:03,715
You're very kind,
274
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:06,271
but then again, look what
you've done with these bunnies.
275
00:13:06,331 --> 00:13:08,006
Um, do you start with watercolor
276
00:13:08,006 --> 00:13:09,706
and then outline with rapidograph...
277
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,809
Actually, it's the other way around.
278
00:13:11,818 --> 00:13:13,611
I have a very steady hand.
279
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:14,961
Well, clearly.
280
00:13:15,079 --> 00:13:17,030
My compliments, Ms. Delfino.
281
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,851
Technically, this is very impressive.
282
00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,728
Oh, thank you.
283
00:13:21,644 --> 00:13:22,806
So...
284
00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:25,384
obviously, I'm in.
285
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:28,031
No. Obviously, you're out.
286
00:13:30,492 --> 00:13:31,495
What?
287
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,908
Don't get me wrong.
You're a fine illustrator,
288
00:13:33,908 --> 00:13:35,688
but this isn't what I call art.
289
00:13:35,688 --> 00:13:38,781
Excuse me, but my paintings
have been in dozens of books,
290
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:40,477
some of them bestsellers.
291
00:13:40,810 --> 00:13:43,912
Perhaps you've heard of
"Doctor porcupine"?
292
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,686
He has a very prickly bedside manner.
293
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:49,351
Right. But see, when you say "Art,"
294
00:13:49,558 --> 00:13:51,420
you mean a hedgehog with a stethoscope,
295
00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:53,697
and to me, art means
reaching down your throat,
296
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:56,726
tearing your guts out,
and smearing it all over canvas.
297
00:13:56,906 --> 00:14:00,377
Anger, passion... that's what interests me.
298
00:14:00,864 --> 00:14:01,846
Well, uh,
299
00:14:01,846 --> 00:14:04,822
"Doctor porcupine loses a
patient and kills a hooker"
300
00:14:04,822 --> 00:14:06,473
doesn't have the same ring to it.
301
00:14:06,657 --> 00:14:09,285
I'm looking for serious
students of the medium.
302
00:14:09,512 --> 00:14:11,490
You're a bored housewife
trying to kill time
303
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:14,625
between spin class and driving
your kid to soccer practice.
304
00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:15,920
Hey, that's not fair.
305
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,235
Um, just because
I've done children's books
306
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:21,092
doesn't mean I can't do anything else.
307
00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:23,550
Really? Do you have any work
308
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,177
that reflects what
I've been talking about?
309
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:27,361
Of course I do.
310
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,041
I'll bring it in tomorrow.
311
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:35,524
I would bring it in now,
but I have to pick up my son...
312
00:14:36,507 --> 00:14:37,595
from prison.
313
00:14:40,539 --> 00:14:43,255
In 1985, musician Bob Geldof
314
00:14:43,255 --> 00:14:46,252
organized a benefit concert
to fight famine in...
315
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,287
There you are.
316
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,991
Though I don't know why I'm surprised.
317
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:50,994
It's where you've been
the last three days.
318
00:14:50,994 --> 00:14:52,987
Guatemala. It's Guatemala!
319
00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:55,067
- Ethiopia.
- Loser.
320
00:14:55,778 --> 00:14:58,771
Ethiopia is correct! Congratulations.
321
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:00,863
Well, given that you won't be
322
00:15:00,864 --> 00:15:03,494
making your fortune off game shows,
323
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,590
perhaps it's time we had
that talk about your future.
324
00:15:06,591 --> 00:15:08,386
Mom, I'm still healing.
325
00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:09,569
My marriage fell apart.
326
00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:12,108
You, of all people,
should know how that feels.
327
00:15:12,109 --> 00:15:14,571
Yes, and I sat in that
same chair "Healing"
328
00:15:14,572 --> 00:15:17,583
and eventually turned
into a raging alcoholic.
329
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,654
Oh, man.
330
00:15:18,655 --> 00:15:20,490
Wine sounds really good right now.
331
00:15:20,491 --> 00:15:22,096
We should get a bottle.
332
00:15:23,581 --> 00:15:24,842
What, you can't even have a sip?
333
00:15:24,843 --> 00:15:27,092
No! Now you need to think about
334
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,611
putting your life back together,
getting a job.
335
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,741
You have a son to consider.
336
00:15:32,272 --> 00:15:33,816
Oh, jeez.
337
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:36,745
I found you!
338
00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:39,847
Now go hide, and we'll play again!
339
00:15:41,203 --> 00:15:44,664
One, two, three...
340
00:15:44,665 --> 00:15:46,786
Okay, there is something
I've been thinking about doing.
341
00:15:46,787 --> 00:15:48,908
Oh. What job?
342
00:15:48,909 --> 00:15:51,216
Retail? Waitressing?
343
00:15:51,539 --> 00:15:53,656
Better. My own business.
344
00:15:53,657 --> 00:15:56,333
I designed this exercise equipment,
345
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,602
and I think I could
sell it on the internet.
346
00:16:00,279 --> 00:16:02,374
Danielle, what do you know
about starting a business?
347
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,135
I already have the design,
and I wrote up a business plan.
348
00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:06,415
I think it could really work.
349
00:16:06,416 --> 00:16:10,110
All I need is a little
seed money. Say $5,000?
350
00:16:10,111 --> 00:16:11,330
$5,000?
351
00:16:11,331 --> 00:16:12,722
Well, I need the supplies,
352
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,732
and I have to rent a place to work out of.
353
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:20,701
I will give you $500,
and you can use the test kitchen.
354
00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,448
Seriously?
355
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,172
Mom, thank you so much.
This means a lot to me.
356
00:16:26,173 --> 00:16:28,495
Well, I am very proud of you.
And you know what?
357
00:16:28,496 --> 00:16:31,847
You are setting a wonderful
example for Benjamin.
358
00:16:31,848 --> 00:16:33,780
Oh, crap.
359
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,495
Ready or not, here I come!
360
00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:42,066
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
361
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,333
I hope you don't mind If I have my lunch
362
00:16:43,334 --> 00:16:45,040
while we go over our schedules.
363
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:46,274
That's lunch?
364
00:16:46,275 --> 00:16:47,436
Protein shake.
365
00:16:47,437 --> 00:16:51,441
Just trying to stay, uh, lean and mean.
366
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,162
I did that once.
367
00:16:53,757 --> 00:16:55,099
All I got was mean.
368
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,970
Hey, I had to move my meeting
to wednesday afternoon.
369
00:16:58,971 --> 00:16:59,903
Think you can pick up the kids?
370
00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:02,333
I'll cover Penny's orthodontist on friday.
371
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,695
Sure. And saturday,
Parker has that birthday.
372
00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:06,626
Since that's your day,
373
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:10,020
you can have him longer on sunday,
if you want.
374
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,226
Great. Yeah. Okay.
375
00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:14,956
That is everything on my end. You?
376
00:17:15,227 --> 00:17:18,807
Um, I heard back from
that couples counselor.
377
00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:21,878
She can squeeze us in thursday at 6:00.
378
00:17:22,443 --> 00:17:25,495
I mean, if you still
want to go to therapy.
379
00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:28,004
Absolutely.
380
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,076
Oh.
381
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,991
I can make thursday work.
382
00:17:31,644 --> 00:17:33,851
Good. I'll book the appointment.
383
00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:37,117
Hello?
384
00:17:38,793 --> 00:17:39,622
Hey.
385
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,296
Y... hey, can I call you back?
386
00:17:46,975 --> 00:17:49,244
Okay. O-okay. Hold-hold on a sec.
387
00:17:49,245 --> 00:17:51,683
Um, this is a work thing.
388
00:17:51,684 --> 00:17:52,997
Is there anything else you need from me?
389
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:55,164
Uh, no.
390
00:17:55,505 --> 00:17:56,600
Okay. Okay.
391
00:17:56,601 --> 00:18:00,576
- I will... see you thursday.
- Okay.
392
00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:06,443
Hey, sorry about that. I, uh, I was in...
393
00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:11,966
Let me get this straight, Jill.
394
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,812
For back to school night appetizers,
395
00:18:13,813 --> 00:18:15,481
you're suggesting pretzels?
396
00:18:16,605 --> 00:18:18,421
What are we, a public school?
397
00:18:20,176 --> 00:18:21,860
- Hey. Sorry.
- Hey.
398
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,270
Did you guys know there was
an A.A. meeting in the gym?
399
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,249
I sat through five
"I left my kid in the car"
400
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:27,210
"while drinking" stories
401
00:18:27,211 --> 00:18:29,230
before I realized I was
in the wrong place.
402
00:18:29,231 --> 00:18:30,815
Doughnut?
403
00:18:33,005 --> 00:18:34,809
Gabrielle Solis.
404
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:38,151
What brings you to your
first ever P.T.A. meeting?
405
00:18:40,462 --> 00:18:43,237
Same thing that brought
our founding fathers to...
406
00:18:44,361 --> 00:18:45,558
wherever they went
407
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,097
when all that crap happened
with England... freedom.
408
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,597
- Freedom?
- Yeah, that's right.
409
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,081
Freedom to oppose an unjust ruler
410
00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:56,436
and her unjust placard-stealing ways.
411
00:18:56,437 --> 00:18:59,849
We are here to tell you your
reign of terror is over.
412
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:01,226
Right, girls?
413
00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:04,978
Guys, come on!
414
00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:08,169
Melissa, have you forgotten about
415
00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:10,632
the blood blister you got
hiking from the "B" lot?
416
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:13,646
And you... other woman,
417
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:15,774
you were 20 minutes late to your manicure.
418
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,222
Show 'em your hands.
419
00:19:18,578 --> 00:19:20,192
This can't go on.
420
00:19:22,072 --> 00:19:23,345
She's right.
421
00:19:23,346 --> 00:19:26,172
Yeah. Tell her, Gaby.
422
00:19:26,173 --> 00:19:28,464
According to your sacred rule book,
423
00:19:28,465 --> 00:19:30,439
which, by the way, is a snore fest,
424
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,625
a group of five parents can
seek a vote of no confidence
425
00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:34,909
in a president.
426
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,990
So... I guess we'll be
taking that vote now.
427
00:19:40,991 --> 00:19:43,764
Melissa, Rachel...
428
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:47,187
You sure you want to do this?
429
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,127
No. It's an obvious bribe.
430
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,530
- Well, it worked.
- Yeah.
431
00:19:57,531 --> 00:19:59,198
What?
432
00:20:05,339 --> 00:20:08,407
Guess we won't be having
that vote after all.
433
00:20:08,552 --> 00:20:11,010
So what? What more can you do to me?
434
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,174
I already park in the "B" lot.
435
00:20:25,927 --> 00:20:27,701
Nice, mom.
436
00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:37,637
Hello!
437
00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:41,374
Mom. I, uh, I asked you
not to come in here.
438
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,909
I am not staying. I just thought
439
00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:46,791
my little entrepreneurs
could use some lemonade.
440
00:20:47,742 --> 00:20:48,781
So...
441
00:20:48,782 --> 00:20:52,051
This is it, the big internet start-up.
442
00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:53,753
Yes, and for your information,
443
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:57,288
as soon as we put up the site,
they started selling like crazy.
444
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:59,392
Over 200 of 'em.
445
00:20:59,393 --> 00:21:02,073
Well, I stand corrected. Good for you.
446
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:05,665
So how exactly does this
exercise equipment work?
447
00:21:05,666 --> 00:21:08,301
Uh uh well, it kind of incorporates pilates
448
00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:10,169
and stretching.
449
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:13,084
It's really more for serious athletes.
450
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:15,975
That might be another order.
I should get that.
451
00:21:15,976 --> 00:21:18,311
But could you take Benjamin
to go get some lunch?
452
00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:20,413
Of course. Benjy.
453
00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,286
Hello. X-stasy sex swing.
454
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,922
We put the swing back in your sex life.
455
00:21:29,923 --> 00:21:32,191
Yes, it can support up to 300 pounds.
456
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:33,926
And we guarantee maximum pleasure
457
00:21:33,927 --> 00:21:36,429
for you and your partner.
458
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:40,220
Ready?
459
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:43,875
Is this for me?
460
00:21:43,876 --> 00:21:45,637
Unless you know another Penny Scavo
461
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,377
with an incredibly generous mom.
462
00:21:49,029 --> 00:21:51,948
- Look, it even has a camera.
- Cool!
463
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:53,885
But my birthday was last month.
464
00:21:53,886 --> 00:21:57,044
I know, but this way,
when you're at your dad's,
465
00:21:57,045 --> 00:21:58,567
we can video chat,
466
00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,910
like, when you need help with homework
467
00:22:00,911 --> 00:22:02,676
or you've been having trouble with math.
468
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:04,108
No, I haven't.
469
00:22:04,109 --> 00:22:06,840
Well, you might. So... bring it.
470
00:22:07,112 --> 00:22:08,365
Okay?
471
00:22:15,685 --> 00:22:18,312
Hey, sweetie. Long time no see.
472
00:22:18,703 --> 00:22:21,012
Mom, you just dropped me off..
473
00:22:21,013 --> 00:22:23,000
Really? It feels like forever.
474
00:22:23,001 --> 00:22:25,799
The gum you gave me in
the car still has flavor.
475
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,424
Well, I miss you.
476
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,441
Actually, since you called,
477
00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:31,998
we're multiplying mixed fractions,
and I'm kind of...
478
00:22:31,998 --> 00:22:33,701
I know what you mean.
Can you move your head?
479
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:36,572
Uh, sure.
480
00:22:37,044 --> 00:22:39,082
So do I need a common denominator?
481
00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:40,562
Honey, the sun's creating a glare.
482
00:22:40,563 --> 00:22:43,420
Would you mind turning
your screen just a scooch?
483
00:22:43,421 --> 00:22:44,825
Okay.
484
00:22:46,957 --> 00:22:49,023
Dad's new place looks nice.
485
00:22:49,024 --> 00:22:50,171
Yeah, it is.
486
00:22:50,172 --> 00:22:52,961
Hey! You know what might be fun?
487
00:22:52,962 --> 00:22:54,459
Why don't you give me a tour?
488
00:22:55,271 --> 00:22:58,622
Just turn your tablet
around and scan the room.
489
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:04,017
Oh, big-screen TV.
490
00:23:04,018 --> 00:23:06,978
There's a 9.0 on the predictability scale.
491
00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:11,495
Empty pizza box, dirty plate, dirty glass.
492
00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:14,324
It's nice he's kept
the same decorating scheme.
493
00:23:14,325 --> 00:23:16,020
My arms are getting tired.
494
00:23:16,021 --> 00:23:19,081
Little longer. Think light thoughts.
495
00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:20,895
Stop. Go back.
496
00:23:20,896 --> 00:23:25,131
I want to see your dad's
new lovely... curtains.
497
00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:28,056
Wow.
498
00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:30,556
They're nice.
499
00:23:30,619 --> 00:23:32,908
But they seem a little young for him.
500
00:23:35,487 --> 00:23:36,871
Who is that?
501
00:23:36,872 --> 00:23:38,175
That's Chloe.
502
00:23:38,176 --> 00:23:41,287
She lives in the building.
She's really nice.
503
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:43,905
Apparently.
504
00:23:45,271 --> 00:23:48,461
So... is Chloe around a lot?
505
00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:49,965
Sometimes.
506
00:23:49,966 --> 00:23:52,017
She teaches a Booty Burn Ballet class,
507
00:23:52,018 --> 00:23:54,325
so she's mostly at the fitness center.
508
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,669
Hey, Mom. Dad's got black toilets.
509
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:58,907
You wanna see them?
510
00:23:58,908 --> 00:24:01,731
No, thanks. I've seen enough.
511
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:04,051
Okay. So when I multiply these fractions...
512
00:24:04,052 --> 00:24:06,322
Okay, sweetie, I love you.
513
00:24:12,393 --> 00:24:15,102
- Oh, that's different.
- Mm-hmm.
514
00:24:15,103 --> 00:24:16,770
What does this mean to you?
515
00:24:16,771 --> 00:24:20,425
Loneliness, isolation,
516
00:24:20,508 --> 00:24:24,712
not long ago, this tree
was lush and green,
517
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:27,399
but now it's, uh, lost its leaves,
518
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,818
and winter's ahead.
519
00:24:31,145 --> 00:24:33,902
And it's just doing
what it can to survive.
520
00:24:37,506 --> 00:24:40,103
So let me guess... you're the tree.
521
00:24:44,322 --> 00:24:45,512
Oh, okay.
522
00:24:45,513 --> 00:24:48,825
You're... mocking me again.
523
00:24:48,826 --> 00:24:49,602
Well, good-bye.
524
00:24:49,603 --> 00:24:51,821
Hold on. We're having
an artistic dialogue here.
525
00:24:52,823 --> 00:24:54,800
I bet your night went
something like this...
526
00:24:54,801 --> 00:24:56,288
You went home and asked yourself,
527
00:24:56,289 --> 00:24:59,974
"How do I prove to Andre
Zeller that I'm deep?"
528
00:25:00,846 --> 00:25:02,848
So you dug down through the cupcakes
529
00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:03,995
and the throw pillows
530
00:25:03,996 --> 00:25:07,989
and the once-a-week sex of
your life to your very core,
531
00:25:07,990 --> 00:25:10,533
and you found this sad little tree.
532
00:25:11,516 --> 00:25:13,169
"And it's so profound"
533
00:25:13,170 --> 00:25:15,388
"because the tree's lonely, just like I am"
534
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:17,466
"now that 'oprah's' off the air."
535
00:25:20,718 --> 00:25:21,863
How dare you.
536
00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:24,429
You don't know anything about me.
537
00:25:24,430 --> 00:25:26,859
What's to know? You're shallow,
538
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:28,698
and your work is shallow, and god bless,
539
00:25:28,699 --> 00:25:31,154
because if I had your life,
I'd be painting bunnies, too.
540
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:32,846
You want everything to be nice and pretty.
541
00:25:32,847 --> 00:25:34,793
You're afraid of ugly.
542
00:25:35,506 --> 00:25:37,494
You-you think I'm afraid of ugly?
543
00:25:41,979 --> 00:25:43,505
You want ugly?
544
00:25:44,499 --> 00:25:45,832
There.
545
00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:47,847
There's some ugly for you.
546
00:25:47,848 --> 00:25:49,544
You want passion?
547
00:25:50,339 --> 00:25:51,913
Well, here you go. There's passion.
548
00:25:51,914 --> 00:25:53,660
Passion all over the place.
549
00:25:54,663 --> 00:25:57,081
You know, I am not some
shallow soccer mom.
550
00:25:57,082 --> 00:25:58,851
I have done things that you can't believe.
551
00:25:58,852 --> 00:26:00,699
I have anger!
552
00:26:01,373 --> 00:26:02,946
And I have pain!
553
00:26:05,626 --> 00:26:07,825
I have secrets in me that I wish...
554
00:26:08,518 --> 00:26:10,955
I could get rid of, and I can't!
555
00:26:14,549 --> 00:26:17,717
It's fine. You know, you...
you've made your mind up about me.
556
00:26:17,718 --> 00:26:21,140
So screw your class, screw your medium.
557
00:26:21,499 --> 00:26:23,186
Screw you!
558
00:27:01,502 --> 00:27:02,957
Ah, there you are.
559
00:27:02,958 --> 00:27:05,369
Hey, do you have a recipe for...
560
00:27:05,740 --> 00:27:08,882
Oh. Congratulations.
561
00:27:09,624 --> 00:27:10,420
For what?
562
00:27:10,421 --> 00:27:13,379
Well, I didn't know you and
Chuck were back together.
563
00:27:13,380 --> 00:27:14,767
We're not.
564
00:27:15,048 --> 00:27:18,212
Well, then why are you
wearing a sex swing?
565
00:27:18,493 --> 00:27:19,828
A what?
566
00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:24,600
Oh, no. This is, uh,
Danielle's new business.
567
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:28,002
She's making exercise equipment.
568
00:27:28,003 --> 00:27:29,347
Uh, yeah,
569
00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:33,638
for a very specific kind of exercise.
570
00:27:36,710 --> 00:27:38,577
Sex swing?
571
00:27:39,237 --> 00:27:41,557
I've never even heard of such a thing.
572
00:27:47,447 --> 00:27:50,177
Now don't try this one
if you get dizzy easily.
573
00:27:50,358 --> 00:27:51,472
Mom?
574
00:27:51,843 --> 00:27:54,102
Exercise equipment?
575
00:27:54,422 --> 00:27:57,554
When I get out of this,
you are in so much trouble!
576
00:27:57,873 --> 00:27:59,711
I'll write you a check later.
577
00:28:00,544 --> 00:28:02,394
A sex swing in my test kitchen?
578
00:28:02,395 --> 00:28:06,009
Do you realize I used to make
people wear hairnets in here?
579
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,641
Danielle, I am very disappointed in you.
580
00:28:09,642 --> 00:28:11,259
Gosh, where have I heard that before?
581
00:28:11,260 --> 00:28:14,088
Oh, don't you try to
turn this around on me!
582
00:28:14,089 --> 00:28:15,825
For the first time in my life,
583
00:28:15,826 --> 00:28:19,128
I found something that
I'm good at and that's successful,
584
00:28:19,129 --> 00:28:21,195
and that's still not good enough for you!
585
00:28:21,917 --> 00:28:24,226
You just live to judge me.
586
00:28:25,211 --> 00:28:26,273
Danielle.
587
00:28:26,274 --> 00:28:28,089
Danielle, where are you going?!
588
00:28:30,829 --> 00:28:33,317
No, I'm telling you. It was bad.
589
00:28:33,728 --> 00:28:35,626
Andre probably called the looney bin,
590
00:28:35,627 --> 00:28:38,377
and they're on their way here
right now with a butterfly net.
591
00:28:38,378 --> 00:28:39,661
It's okay, babe.
592
00:28:39,662 --> 00:28:42,840
No, it's not. I just ran out of there.
593
00:28:42,841 --> 00:28:45,349
I-I-I forgot my portfolio.
594
00:28:46,031 --> 00:28:48,232
I don't know what the hell came over me.
595
00:28:49,204 --> 00:28:50,508
Susan...
596
00:28:51,201 --> 00:28:52,602
I know how badly you want
597
00:28:52,603 --> 00:28:54,588
what happened in the woods to go away,
598
00:28:54,837 --> 00:28:56,856
but I have to tell you the truth.
599
00:28:57,239 --> 00:28:58,773
It's not going to.
600
00:28:59,103 --> 00:29:00,639
It's part of you.
601
00:29:01,461 --> 00:29:03,716
No. N... mnh.
602
00:29:04,099 --> 00:29:05,913
I-I don't want it to be.
603
00:29:05,914 --> 00:29:07,165
I don't want it to be either,
604
00:29:07,166 --> 00:29:09,933
just like I don't want
my dark stuff to be part of me,
605
00:29:09,934 --> 00:29:11,490
but it is.
606
00:29:12,354 --> 00:29:15,091
Mike, please. Please stop saying this.
607
00:29:15,092 --> 00:29:16,818
I'm trying to protect you.
608
00:29:19,027 --> 00:29:22,850
If you can accept this as part of you,
609
00:29:23,987 --> 00:29:26,064
maybe you can figure out
how to live with it.
610
00:29:27,710 --> 00:29:29,364
But if you don't,
611
00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:33,468
that's when it jumps out without warning.
612
00:29:35,405 --> 00:29:36,901
And trust me,
613
00:29:38,357 --> 00:29:40,273
that's a bad way to live.
614
00:29:47,629 --> 00:29:48,663
So...
615
00:29:49,636 --> 00:29:52,455
things are never gonna
be the way they were?
616
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,174
Things...
617
00:29:55,175 --> 00:29:57,080
are how they are.
618
00:30:02,833 --> 00:30:03,870
You okay?
619
00:30:04,266 --> 00:30:06,224
Mommy, will you check my math worksheet?
620
00:30:06,225 --> 00:30:07,724
It's really hard.
621
00:30:10,448 --> 00:30:12,092
Sure. Sure, honey.
622
00:30:30,198 --> 00:30:31,840
In case you're wondering how I got here,
623
00:30:31,841 --> 00:30:35,133
the U.P.S. man heard
my cries and cut me down.
624
00:30:35,308 --> 00:30:37,752
Suffice it to say, we're FedEx people now.
625
00:30:39,180 --> 00:30:41,835
Look, I know you think
that I am judgmental.
626
00:30:42,267 --> 00:30:43,263
Think?
627
00:30:43,468 --> 00:30:45,422
"Danielle, you should've gone to college."
628
00:30:45,423 --> 00:30:47,676
"Danielle, you dress like a streetwalker."
629
00:30:47,677 --> 00:30:50,664
"Danielle, I knew
your marriage wouldn't last."
630
00:30:50,679 --> 00:30:52,263
Yeah, a little bit.
631
00:30:53,190 --> 00:30:55,458
What I was going to say is you're right.
632
00:30:57,106 --> 00:30:58,521
Why are you admitting this?
633
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,586
Because I thought about what you said,
634
00:31:00,587 --> 00:31:02,732
and I realize I am far from perfect.
635
00:31:02,733 --> 00:31:05,088
I have no right to be so critical.
636
00:31:05,923 --> 00:31:07,713
Okay, now you're freaking me out.
637
00:31:08,278 --> 00:31:09,756
Did something happen?
638
00:31:11,648 --> 00:31:15,196
Just know that a certain recent... event
639
00:31:15,272 --> 00:31:18,744
made me aware that I am
in no position to judge you
640
00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:20,519
or anyone else.
641
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:22,758
What are you talking about?
642
00:31:24,685 --> 00:31:25,356
It doesn't matter.
643
00:31:25,357 --> 00:31:26,597
The point is...
644
00:31:29,030 --> 00:31:30,511
can you forgive me?
645
00:31:32,220 --> 00:31:33,424
Wow.
646
00:31:34,594 --> 00:31:36,844
That's, like, the first
time you've ever said that.
647
00:31:39,122 --> 00:31:41,180
Thank you. And...
648
00:31:41,706 --> 00:31:43,640
yes, I forgive you.
649
00:31:44,508 --> 00:31:47,033
And to prove that I am sincere,
650
00:31:47,034 --> 00:31:48,881
I would like to invest in your business
651
00:31:48,882 --> 00:31:50,036
and support you in making
652
00:31:50,037 --> 00:31:54,544
those disgusting-ly happy swings.
653
00:31:54,545 --> 00:31:56,866
You mean like a silent partner?
654
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:58,969
A silent, invisible,
655
00:31:58,970 --> 00:32:01,518
and completely untraceable partner
656
00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:05,127
who supports you from far, far away.
657
00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,137
I love you, sweetie.
658
00:32:08,777 --> 00:32:10,159
I love you, too.
659
00:32:14,237 --> 00:32:16,535
Now... go pack up your sex factory,
660
00:32:16,536 --> 00:32:18,669
and I will bake us some cookies.
661
00:32:24,632 --> 00:32:27,333
You're about to paint
a hundred bad paintings,
662
00:32:27,517 --> 00:32:28,789
so let's get those out of the way
663
00:32:28,790 --> 00:32:31,487
so you can start painting the good ones.
664
00:32:33,933 --> 00:32:35,080
What are you doing?
665
00:32:35,470 --> 00:32:38,086
Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
666
00:32:39,483 --> 00:32:40,509
Sit down.
667
00:32:41,179 --> 00:32:42,267
Excuse me?
668
00:32:42,775 --> 00:32:44,119
Sit down. You're late.
669
00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:50,490
Does that mean you're
letting me join the class?
670
00:32:50,525 --> 00:32:51,692
For now.
671
00:32:52,410 --> 00:32:55,452
But that woman who showed up
yesterday... the crazy one...
672
00:32:55,996 --> 00:32:58,004
she better be here every single day.
673
00:33:01,117 --> 00:33:03,000
I-I don't know if I like that woman.
674
00:33:03,001 --> 00:33:04,601
She scares me.
675
00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:06,657
Good.
676
00:33:08,819 --> 00:33:10,915
Okay, I want you to start
677
00:33:10,916 --> 00:33:13,876
by forgetting everything
you heard about brush technique.
678
00:33:13,877 --> 00:33:14,898
I've seen your painting.
679
00:33:14,899 --> 00:33:16,835
Either you heard it wrong,
680
00:33:17,353 --> 00:33:18,761
or it was wrong.
681
00:33:24,691 --> 00:33:26,491
Hey. Are you ready for our walk?
682
00:33:26,492 --> 00:33:27,623
Actually, change of plans.
683
00:33:27,624 --> 00:33:30,105
I thought we'd go to that
booty burn ballet class
684
00:33:30,106 --> 00:33:32,640
- at the fitness center.
- What's going on?
685
00:33:32,750 --> 00:33:35,680
Nothing. Can't a woman
just wanna burn her booty?
686
00:33:37,131 --> 00:33:38,874
Fine. I think you're right
about Tom seeing someone.
687
00:33:38,875 --> 00:33:40,809
She's an aerobics teacher.
688
00:33:41,475 --> 00:33:44,010
Of course she is. Cliche much?
689
00:33:44,011 --> 00:33:46,469
So I'm thinking,
I'll go to her class, and I'll...
690
00:33:46,823 --> 00:33:48,802
Actually, I-I don't know
what the hell I'm thinking.
691
00:33:48,803 --> 00:33:50,493
You're thinking you
wanna spy on this woman
692
00:33:50,494 --> 00:33:52,711
and see what she's like,
then key her car on the way out.
693
00:33:52,712 --> 00:33:54,462
It's perfectly natural.
694
00:33:54,463 --> 00:33:56,651
So I'm not crazy?
I shouldn't just be direct
695
00:33:56,652 --> 00:33:58,549
and ask Tom if he's seeing someone?
696
00:33:58,550 --> 00:33:59,881
Why? So he can lie to you
697
00:33:59,882 --> 00:34:01,966
through his unnaturally white teeth?
698
00:34:02,572 --> 00:34:03,711
Okay, then.
699
00:34:03,883 --> 00:34:04,806
I guess we're going.
700
00:34:04,807 --> 00:34:07,488
Yeah. Uh, booty burn ballet...
701
00:34:07,489 --> 00:34:08,669
think we can do this?
702
00:34:08,670 --> 00:34:10,686
Oh, please. How hard can it be?
703
00:34:12,514 --> 00:34:14,657
Am I the only one about to pass out?
704
00:34:14,658 --> 00:34:17,447
No. I keep seeing my dead grandfather
705
00:34:17,448 --> 00:34:18,272
at the end of the tunnel,
706
00:34:18,273 --> 00:34:21,126
saying "Come toward the light."
707
00:34:21,158 --> 00:34:24,967
Keep going, ladies.
Keep your eyes on the thighs!
708
00:34:24,968 --> 00:34:27,511
Did she just use a civil
rights rallying cry
709
00:34:27,512 --> 00:34:29,802
to get us to lose ass fat?
710
00:34:30,103 --> 00:34:31,314
First time, huh?
711
00:34:31,315 --> 00:34:33,516
Oh, what gave me away?
712
00:34:33,582 --> 00:34:36,156
The fact that this was
light blue when I came in?
713
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:38,073
Well, the good news is
714
00:34:38,074 --> 00:34:40,380
if you have a heart attack, I'm a doctor.
715
00:34:40,381 --> 00:34:43,249
The bad news is if you have one, I'm not.
716
00:34:43,250 --> 00:34:45,784
Okay, so if I die,
717
00:34:46,049 --> 00:34:48,269
please put me ass up in the coffin.
718
00:34:48,270 --> 00:34:50,737
I'd hate for all this work to go to waste.
719
00:34:51,501 --> 00:34:52,931
On your feet, ladies.
720
00:34:53,689 --> 00:34:56,188
Okay, we've checked out the competition.
721
00:34:56,189 --> 00:34:57,366
Can we go now?
722
00:34:57,367 --> 00:34:58,450
No.
723
00:34:58,547 --> 00:34:59,986
I want to talk to her.
724
00:34:59,987 --> 00:35:01,588
Okay, everybody,
725
00:35:01,615 --> 00:35:03,745
time to work those quads.
726
00:35:05,395 --> 00:35:07,769
I don't know who I hate
more right now... you or her.
727
00:35:07,770 --> 00:35:09,114
50 lunges!
728
00:35:09,115 --> 00:35:11,719
Jump towards your skinny, skinny future.
729
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,502
And we have a winner.
730
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:20,487
Hi. It's Mrs. Solis.
731
00:35:20,488 --> 00:35:22,551
Can you tell Sean I'm running
about 20 minutes late
732
00:35:22,552 --> 00:35:24,707
for my brow-waxing appointment?
733
00:35:26,198 --> 00:35:28,361
What? You can't hold it for me?
734
00:35:28,362 --> 00:35:30,850
But I've got caterpillars over my eyes.
735
00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:34,142
Fine. I'll be there in five minutes.
736
00:35:34,143 --> 00:35:36,489
Juanita, get back in the car.
737
00:35:37,618 --> 00:35:39,546
We're going drop-off.
738
00:35:48,577 --> 00:35:50,509
Gaby, what are you doin'?
739
00:35:50,510 --> 00:35:52,800
You can't be in the carpool
lane without a placard.
740
00:35:52,801 --> 00:35:55,642
Don't give a crap. It's time
somebody taught Dana a lesson.
741
00:35:55,643 --> 00:35:58,224
We need to break
the back of our oppressor.
742
00:36:07,436 --> 00:36:09,232
Mobilize the cones!
743
00:36:15,534 --> 00:36:18,525
Get out, sweetie. Go. Go. Go, go, go!
744
00:36:31,986 --> 00:36:34,203
I'm never gonna get that eyebrow wax.
745
00:36:41,156 --> 00:36:44,617
Again, Dana, I am so sorry.
746
00:36:44,623 --> 00:36:48,092
On the upside, that cast is so slimming.
747
00:36:48,299 --> 00:36:50,031
It's like a hard spanx.
748
00:36:50,857 --> 00:36:54,025
Gaby, there's a reason I asked to see you.
749
00:36:54,150 --> 00:36:56,453
You wanted to give me my placard back.
750
00:36:57,216 --> 00:37:00,427
No. Could you hand me those painkillers?
751
00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:04,088
I just wanted to bring you up to date
752
00:37:04,089 --> 00:37:06,239
on some school-related news.
753
00:37:06,605 --> 00:37:07,620
Given my condition,
754
00:37:07,621 --> 00:37:09,932
they've informed me
that I'm no longer able
755
00:37:09,933 --> 00:37:12,543
to carry out my duties
as P.T.A. president.
756
00:37:13,451 --> 00:37:14,892
That's a bummer.
757
00:37:15,096 --> 00:37:16,855
Yes, it is.
758
00:37:18,609 --> 00:37:22,122
The bylaws state I'm to
appoint an acting president,
759
00:37:22,123 --> 00:37:23,692
and I've made my decision.
760
00:37:25,587 --> 00:37:26,639
Me?
761
00:37:27,842 --> 00:37:29,231
Wait. You hate me.
762
00:37:29,422 --> 00:37:30,392
Very perceptive.
763
00:37:30,393 --> 00:37:32,711
That'll serve you well
as P.T.A. president.
764
00:37:33,738 --> 00:37:35,490
W... okay, wait.
765
00:37:35,491 --> 00:37:37,141
Why are you doing this?
766
00:37:37,518 --> 00:37:40,461
Let me tell you what I was
like before I took this job.
767
00:37:40,462 --> 00:37:41,759
I was fun.
768
00:37:41,923 --> 00:37:43,681
I drank at school functions.
769
00:37:43,682 --> 00:37:45,917
My boob fell out at the holiday party.
770
00:37:46,177 --> 00:37:48,065
I still had a husband.
771
00:37:49,372 --> 00:37:51,072
So what turned you into this?
772
00:37:51,190 --> 00:37:53,210
The job did. Mm-hmm.
773
00:37:53,211 --> 00:37:55,696
And it's gonna do the same to you.
774
00:37:55,898 --> 00:37:57,342
Yeah, no time for manicures
775
00:37:57,343 --> 00:38:00,260
'cause you'll be planning the winter gala.
776
00:38:01,043 --> 00:38:02,459
No more seeing your husband
777
00:38:02,460 --> 00:38:04,875
because you'll be
organizing the bake sale.
778
00:38:04,876 --> 00:38:06,162
And no more friends,
779
00:38:06,163 --> 00:38:09,298
because you'll always be
hitting them up for something.
780
00:38:10,919 --> 00:38:13,455
Well, as attractive as your
little revenge fantasy sounds,
781
00:38:13,456 --> 00:38:14,785
I'm gonna pass.
782
00:38:14,786 --> 00:38:18,648
Then I guess I'm gonna have
to go ahead and press charges.
783
00:38:19,905 --> 00:38:22,293
What are you talking about?
It was an accident.
784
00:38:22,869 --> 00:38:24,468
I have witnesses
785
00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:27,822
who heard you say you were
going to break my back.
786
00:38:28,203 --> 00:38:30,893
And I do have a broken back.
787
00:38:39,357 --> 00:38:41,026
So the winter gala...
788
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:43,550
it's in the winter, right?
789
00:38:46,076 --> 00:38:47,582
That's interesting. Interesting.
790
00:38:47,583 --> 00:38:49,662
So really, you have three careers.
791
00:38:49,663 --> 00:38:52,334
You're a aerobics instructor,
aromatherapist,
792
00:38:52,335 --> 00:38:54,232
and a lingerie model.
793
00:38:54,233 --> 00:38:57,587
Well, lingerie modeling is
more of a hobby than a career.
794
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,432
Oh. But when god gives you these...
795
00:39:00,026 --> 00:39:00,808
Right.
796
00:39:00,809 --> 00:39:02,826
Are you sure god gave you those?
797
00:39:03,932 --> 00:39:04,638
I'm just kidding.
798
00:39:04,639 --> 00:39:06,914
I'm just kidding.
It's nice talking to you, Chloe.
799
00:39:07,842 --> 00:39:08,474
Ready to go?
800
00:39:08,475 --> 00:39:09,467
Yes.
801
00:39:09,468 --> 00:39:09,981
So?
802
00:39:09,982 --> 00:39:13,138
Well, obviously, I'm not thrilled.
Look at her.
803
00:39:13,139 --> 00:39:14,591
But it could be worse.
804
00:39:15,074 --> 00:39:15,899
How?
805
00:39:16,094 --> 00:39:17,114
She could look like that
806
00:39:17,115 --> 00:39:19,565
and have a single thought in her head.
807
00:39:19,566 --> 00:39:21,519
I mean, there's no way Tom's
ever gonna get serious
808
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:22,866
about a woman like that, right?
809
00:39:22,867 --> 00:39:25,578
- Yeah. She's just a fling.
- Mm.
810
00:39:25,579 --> 00:39:27,105
A palate cleanser.
811
00:39:27,106 --> 00:39:29,428
The sorbet you eat between courses.
812
00:39:29,469 --> 00:39:31,475
I'm really sorry I said that.
813
00:39:32,113 --> 00:39:34,478
I give the whole thing three weeks.
814
00:39:34,723 --> 00:39:35,772
Lynette?
815
00:39:38,049 --> 00:39:42,693
Hey! Tom. What's-what's going on?
816
00:39:43,185 --> 00:39:44,936
- I'll meet you at the car.
- Okay.
817
00:39:46,928 --> 00:39:48,570
Wh-what are you doing here?
818
00:39:50,867 --> 00:39:51,960
I know.
819
00:39:52,882 --> 00:39:53,873
Know what?
820
00:39:54,985 --> 00:39:55,914
Wh...
821
00:39:57,820 --> 00:39:58,811
Okay.
822
00:39:59,416 --> 00:40:01,665
We just had dinner a couple of times.
823
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,382
There's nothing going on.
824
00:40:05,130 --> 00:40:06,390
Whatever.
825
00:40:08,455 --> 00:40:11,548
So this is how you're gonna be
spending your free time now,
826
00:40:11,549 --> 00:40:12,925
spying on me?
827
00:40:12,926 --> 00:40:14,598
Well, that's a brilliant strategy, Tom.
828
00:40:14,599 --> 00:40:15,744
Act like I'm the one in the wrong.
829
00:40:15,745 --> 00:40:18,072
You're the one dating the underwear model.
830
00:40:18,073 --> 00:40:19,884
What are you talking about?
831
00:40:23,269 --> 00:40:25,273
Chloe? I'm not dating Chloe.
832
00:40:25,274 --> 00:40:27,727
Jeez, Lynette, give me a little credit.
833
00:40:27,728 --> 00:40:30,210
Then you have you been having
dinner with? Why are you here?
834
00:40:30,211 --> 00:40:33,453
I am picking up Jane, Chloe's mom.
835
00:40:40,322 --> 00:40:43,694
Like I said, it's just
a couple of dinners and coffee.
836
00:40:44,087 --> 00:40:45,569
Oh, it's coffee now?
837
00:40:45,570 --> 00:40:48,122
God, Tom, when were you
gonna tell me this?
838
00:40:48,605 --> 00:40:51,172
Thursday, in counseling.
839
00:40:54,054 --> 00:40:55,148
You ready to go?
840
00:40:55,618 --> 00:40:56,664
Yeah.
841
00:40:57,996 --> 00:41:00,166
Lynette, we'll talk about
this thursday, right?
842
00:41:00,765 --> 00:41:02,106
What's the point?
843
00:41:05,784 --> 00:41:10,326
Yes, we often learn
our most important lessons
844
00:41:10,327 --> 00:41:12,573
outside the classroom...
845
00:41:15,028 --> 00:41:19,121
The painful truth about
the state of a relationship...
846
00:41:21,699 --> 00:41:25,497
the ugly cost of challenging authority...
847
00:41:27,185 --> 00:41:31,878
the sad fact that life's
colors aren't always rosy...
848
00:41:34,317 --> 00:41:35,588
Then there are those
849
00:41:35,589 --> 00:41:39,603
who refuse to accept
these important lessons.
850
00:41:40,366 --> 00:41:43,095
They simply wait for the chance
851
00:41:43,096 --> 00:41:46,320
to teach a lesson of their own.
852
00:41:49,748 --> 00:41:52,019
Don't tell me you're still
stewing about that redhead.
853
00:41:53,704 --> 00:41:55,524
Well, I'm not a big fan of getting led on
854
00:41:55,525 --> 00:41:58,794
and humiliated, so, yeah, I'm not...
855
00:41:59,302 --> 00:42:01,185
Don't think I'm letting
go of this one yet.
856
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:02,439
Suit yourself.
857
00:42:03,135 --> 00:42:05,446
I got some missing person
reports here for you.
858
00:42:06,052 --> 00:42:07,892
Just toss 'em over there.
859
00:42:16,703 --> 00:42:20,261
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