1
00:00:02,074 --> 00:00:03,197
Hi, honey.
2
00:00:03,322 --> 00:00:05,239
- Hey.
- Hi.
3
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:08,693
Ooh, got the, uh...
The old birthing plan.
4
00:00:08,727 --> 00:00:10,969
Up...To page eighteen. Wow.
5
00:00:11,135 --> 00:00:13,798
Yeah, well, planning exactly
how this is gonna go
6
00:00:13,832 --> 00:00:15,807
is the only thing that is
relaxing me right now.
7
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:18,369
I mean, I can't drink,
I can't exercise,
8
00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:21,472
sex has become
borderline repulsive, so...
9
00:00:21,506 --> 00:00:23,574
Oh, God, because of me,
not because of you, baby.
10
00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:24,809
You look great.
11
00:00:24,843 --> 00:00:27,011
Thanks. You don't think
I'm too brown...
12
00:00:27,045 --> 00:00:28,012
Okay, that's enough.
13
00:00:28,046 --> 00:00:31,115
Um, did you get the birthing DVD?
14
00:00:31,149 --> 00:00:32,282
- Yes.
- Yes.
15
00:00:34,553 --> 00:00:35,920
She doesn't look very happy.
16
00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:38,322
Does this woman not own a hairbrush?
17
00:00:38,357 --> 00:00:39,557
Or a razor?
18
00:00:39,591 --> 00:00:41,958
Someone help a sister out.
19
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,462
Oh, God, it's all so natural.
20
00:00:44,496 --> 00:00:45,712
How old is this, honey?
21
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:47,298
I'm ashamed to admit it,
but a little part of me
22
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:49,100
thought this might
actually be kinda sexy.
23
00:00:49,134 --> 00:00:50,768
Oh, it is not.
24
00:00:50,802 --> 00:00:53,537
It is so not.
25
00:00:53,572 --> 00:00:55,039
- Oh!
- Oh, God!
26
00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:56,073
- Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
27
00:00:56,108 --> 00:00:57,341
Oh, my God!
28
00:00:57,376 --> 00:00:59,477
Oh, God, it's like hair
coming out of hair.
29
00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:00,944
Oh, my God. Turn it off.
Turn it off.
30
00:01:00,962 --> 00:01:02,880
I don't know where
the thing is, but turn it off.
31
00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:05,649
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
32
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:28,255
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
33
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,384
So, Libby, tell me,
34
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,513
at what point were you 100% certain
35
00:01:35,547 --> 00:01:36,881
that you were pregnant?
36
00:01:36,915 --> 00:01:38,598
Well, I had no idea I was pregnant.
37
00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:41,218
Then I went to the bathroom,
and I said to myself,
38
00:01:41,253 --> 00:01:43,387
"Libby, you better
get off this toilet,
39
00:01:43,422 --> 00:01:44,655
you're having a baby."
40
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:49,276
And all that time,
you never felt tired or bigger?
41
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,821
I felt fantastic the whole time.
42
00:01:53,832 --> 00:01:54,832
That's amazing.
43
00:01:54,866 --> 00:01:56,300
I call bull.
44
00:01:56,334 --> 00:01:57,802
And that's our show.
45
00:01:57,836 --> 00:01:59,670
Barry, why don't you tell the viewers
46
00:01:59,704 --> 00:02:01,305
where they can go
to find out more about
47
00:02:01,339 --> 00:02:02,998
this incredible story.
48
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:08,012
H-t-t-p
49
00:02:08,046 --> 00:02:11,415
colon-backslash-backslash
50
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:16,387
the-Ava-show-dot-com
51
00:02:16,421 --> 00:02:19,765
backslash-info-underscore...
52
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,625
Can we get a new Internet guy?
53
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,594
I mean, Barry is on my last nerve.
54
00:02:23,628 --> 00:02:25,129
I mean, even my driver
could do a better job.
55
00:02:25,163 --> 00:02:27,298
Ava, y-you are not wrong.
56
00:02:27,332 --> 00:02:28,565
A-and you need to be tweeting more.
57
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,609
Calvin, I was using you
as an absurd example.
58
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,702
And while we're on the subject,
59
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,153
Missy, can you cut your hair, please?
60
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,638
We are neither in a little house,
61
00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:36,240
nor on a prairie.
62
00:02:36,274 --> 00:02:37,274
Thank you.
63
00:02:37,309 --> 00:02:40,144
Oh, thank you.
Great show. Yeah.
64
00:02:40,178 --> 00:02:41,979
I hope we don't find any stray babies
65
00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:43,705
in the ladies' room.
66
00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:45,115
Just find it hard to believe
67
00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:46,583
that someone would
not know they're pregnant.
68
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,952
I wouldn't know you were pregnant.
69
00:02:47,986 --> 00:02:50,054
From behind, you can't even tell.
70
00:02:50,088 --> 00:02:52,255
Except for your fee...
71
00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:55,426
My feet?
72
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,561
It's okay, Missy.
They're swollen.
73
00:02:57,596 --> 00:02:58,913
I can actually hear water in there.
74
00:02:58,947 --> 00:03:00,781
But you know what?
All in all,
75
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:02,900
I've been pretty lucky
with this pregnancy.
76
00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:05,035
You know? I didn't have any
morning sickness.
77
00:03:05,069 --> 00:03:06,620
I have no stretch marks.
78
00:03:06,671 --> 00:03:09,239
No freaky cravings, no heartburn,
79
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,509
no night sweats...
Hey, attention, everybody!
80
00:03:11,543 --> 00:03:13,744
In five minutes, we are gonna
meet in the conference room
81
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:16,112
to discuss what happens
before I leave, okay?
82
00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:17,364
For what? Where are you going?
83
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,384
Honey. I'm having a baby
in two weeks.
84
00:03:20,418 --> 00:03:21,868
You must accept this now,
85
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,688
and stop pretending
that I just got fat.
86
00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:29,393
Oh, tubby, tubby, tubby.
87
00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:32,212
All right, come on,
everybody, let's do this.
88
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,597
Uh, I just wanna
talk about what happens
89
00:03:33,632 --> 00:03:35,299
- when the baby comes.
- What, you breathe all weird,
90
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,269
you call your husband a bastard,
and a baby pops out. Am I right?
91
00:03:38,303 --> 00:03:39,320
Nicely done, Ava.
92
00:03:39,371 --> 00:03:41,772
No, I am talking about production.
93
00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:43,374
So I sent you all a document
94
00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:45,509
of what the chain of command
is gonna be when I'm gone.
95
00:03:45,544 --> 00:03:48,078
So let me see by a show of hands
96
00:03:48,113 --> 00:03:49,880
who has read that document.
97
00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:51,189
Okay, good.
Now raise your hands
98
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:55,652
if you are unsure of your place
in the chain of command.
99
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,355
Ava, you are the head
of the chain of command.
100
00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:00,057
I'm just having trouble
wrapping my head around the fact
101
00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,192
that this is all happening so soon.
102
00:04:02,227 --> 00:04:03,761
We've known for nine months.
103
00:04:03,795 --> 00:04:06,371
Now we just wait
until we go to the hospital.
104
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,865
Hospitals...
105
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,700
I will give you $50,000
106
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:11,268
to have your baby at a hotel.
107
00:04:11,302 --> 00:04:12,870
You know what? If you have it
at Caesar's in Vegas,
108
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,271
I can get you full spa access.
109
00:04:14,306 --> 00:04:16,307
No, honey, you're gonna
be there at the hospital.
110
00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:17,775
I'm just kidding.
111
00:04:17,809 --> 00:04:21,428
I'm your best friend,
of course I'm gonna be there.
112
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,348
Well, technically we could
go to trial, if you want to.
113
00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:25,416
But I gotta tell you,
114
00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:26,884
I'm sitting with my client right now,
115
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,203
and you do not want
to put this poor sick woman
116
00:04:29,254 --> 00:04:30,979
in front of a jury.
117
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,006
I tell you what, if I were you,
118
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,123
I'd huddle up with your team,
119
00:04:33,157 --> 00:04:34,992
and get back to us
by the end of business.
120
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,962
If they settle, they're gonna
make you partner by summer.
121
00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,863
Yeah, 'cept for I'm gonna be
on paternity leave.
122
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,566
Dude, last guy to take
his full paternity was Frank.
123
00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:43,550
Frank.
124
00:04:43,602 --> 00:04:45,436
See? You don't even remember.
125
00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:47,329
They disappeared him. It's like
he never even happened.
126
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,641
Oh, my God, yeah.
127
00:04:50,675 --> 00:04:52,009
I don't know, man.
You know what?
128
00:04:52,027 --> 00:04:53,978
Call me crazy, but I'm actually
really looking forward
129
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:55,112
to my paternity leave.
130
00:04:55,146 --> 00:04:58,248
I mean, my dad never did
anything like that.
131
00:04:58,283 --> 00:04:59,733
- He wasn't even around at all.
- What are you gonna do?
132
00:04:59,784 --> 00:05:02,853
You gonna give up your identity
to stay home and change diapers?
133
00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:06,707
They're calling to settle.
134
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,325
It's Chris.
135
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,376
Uh-huh.
136
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:11,937
Uh-huh. Great. Thanks.
137
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,800
Ha-ha! Well?
138
00:05:16,835 --> 00:05:21,505
I, uh, I gotta go.
Reagan's in labor.
139
00:05:21,539 --> 00:05:24,282
I mean, this is unbelievable.
I'm about to be a dad.
140
00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:25,542
I'm assuming it's mine, right?
141
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,094
Of course it's mine,
what am I talking about?
142
00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:28,729
Of course it...
It's not gonna be...
143
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,956
Oh, my God, I just put
the stapler into my thing.
144
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,067
Stupid Chris, they're gonna
have a stapler...
145
00:05:33,101 --> 00:05:34,852
No, I'll take it just in case.
146
00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:36,670
Oh, my God.
This is really happening.
147
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,490
Congratulations, man.
This is great.
148
00:05:39,524 --> 00:05:42,225
So should we, uh, hug
or high-five it?
149
00:05:42,243 --> 00:05:43,226
I think I need a hug.
150
00:05:43,244 --> 00:05:47,331
Okay. A-ha, there it is, man.
151
00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,783
I'll see you next week.
Don't be a Frank.
152
00:05:53,727 --> 00:05:55,723
Back it up, people.
Back it up.
153
00:05:55,848 --> 00:05:57,015
This baby is gonna
blow out any second.
154
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:59,251
There will be cervix everywhere.
155
00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:01,186
Ava, you need to calm down, okay?
156
00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:03,422
Everything is
under control, all right?
157
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:04,656
Babe, what's going on?
158
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,074
I brought a stapler,
so we're good on that.
159
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,826
She's crowning!
Oh, God, she's crowning.
160
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,244
Okay, I'm not crowning.
Shh, I'm not crowning.
161
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:10,929
That does not happen
till step 22 of the birth plan.
162
00:06:10,963 --> 00:06:12,431
I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm panicking.
163
00:06:12,465 --> 00:06:13,799
A little bit. I'm panicking.
164
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,966
How do you feel?
165
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:17,018
I feel good.
No, I feel good.
166
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:18,870
I think, ink most people
would feel really nervous
167
00:06:18,905 --> 00:06:21,881
in this situation, but I feel,
I feel...I feel right.
168
00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,049
You are incredible.
169
00:06:23,215 --> 00:06:25,010
Because panic is not
an option right now.
170
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:28,113
Let's dilate. Let's do it,
you know what I mean?
171
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,365
Mucus! Blood! Placenta!
172
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,783
You know what?
Screaming out birth words
173
00:06:31,818 --> 00:06:33,226
is not very helpful.
It's not helpful.
174
00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:34,986
- Let's go to the hospital.
- No, we have to go home first.
175
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:37,089
You know, I don't have my socks,
I don't have my iPad,
176
00:06:37,123 --> 00:06:38,723
- I don't have my headband--
- your headband?
177
00:06:38,758 --> 00:06:40,608
Yes, if I sweat, my hair gets frizzy.
178
00:06:40,774 --> 00:06:41,927
Just because I'm in labor
does not mean I have to look
179
00:06:41,961 --> 00:06:43,328
like I gave myself a home perm.
180
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,247
I will go to your house,
I will get your stuff for you.
181
00:06:45,298 --> 00:06:46,631
Take my limo.
182
00:06:46,666 --> 00:06:48,533
You're in good hands.
I helped my mother give birth.
183
00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:49,701
I know that can mess a brother up,
184
00:06:49,735 --> 00:06:51,169
but I thought it was beautiful.
185
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,504
Yeah, okay.
186
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,539
Hey, listen.
My bag is already packed.
187
00:06:54,557 --> 00:06:56,958
It's in the bedroom.
Double-check the headband.
188
00:06:57,124 --> 00:06:59,478
Don't you worry, I've got
everything under control.
189
00:06:59,512 --> 00:07:02,172
All right, move it on out.
190
00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:10,906
Barry, move! It's not
about you right now.
191
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:11,639
Oh, God!
192
00:07:11,805 --> 00:07:12,991
So...
193
00:07:13,025 --> 00:07:14,659
They're still gonna give you
three months off, right?
194
00:07:14,694 --> 00:07:15,694
Yes, although mark says
195
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:17,529
I should maybe make it
a couple weeks,
196
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,131
maybe even less.
197
00:07:19,165 --> 00:07:20,365
There was this guy Frank that...
198
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,816
I think I was actually
in his wedding...
199
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:25,904
Oh, my God. Honey.
200
00:07:25,922 --> 00:07:30,208
This is the last moment
of our lives without kids.
201
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,701
Right here. In this limousine.
202
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:34,179
You're right. Wow.
203
00:07:34,213 --> 00:07:36,047
Well, we should,
we should do something
204
00:07:36,082 --> 00:07:38,249
really wild and irresponsible,
don't you think?
205
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:40,585
Yes, although I feel
like drugs and sex
206
00:07:40,603 --> 00:07:41,711
are probably out of the question.
207
00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,972
I know! I know, I know.
208
00:07:44,023 --> 00:07:46,391
Let's stick our heads outside
of this, the sun roof thingy,
209
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,126
and scream at the top
of our lungs, you wanna do it?
210
00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:49,161
Yeah, of course.
211
00:07:49,195 --> 00:07:51,679
Like a couple of drunken prom dates.
212
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:54,474
Whoo-hoo!
213
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,309
Ahh, and there's a contraction.
214
00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:57,435
- Whoo!
- I'm gonna "whoo"
215
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:58,478
from down here, honey.
216
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,656
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
217
00:08:01,707 --> 00:08:04,276
Okay, we've got Reagan's bag.
Let's get to the hospital.
218
00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,878
Yes, but first, let's
bake them a "welcome home" cake,
219
00:08:06,913 --> 00:08:09,648
and maybe we should probably vacuum.
220
00:08:09,682 --> 00:08:12,700
Ava, I think you're stalling
to avoid going to the hospital.
221
00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:14,886
Oh, no, see, I don't do hospitals.
222
00:08:14,921 --> 00:08:17,322
All those germs and super-viruses.
223
00:08:17,356 --> 00:08:20,500
I just think that antibiotics
are making them stronger, Missy.
224
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,761
But I've seen you eat food
from the recycling.
225
00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:25,004
- What's your point?
- Ava.
226
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,509
I don't think you're afraid
of going to the hospital.
227
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,403
I think you're afraid
of what's happening
228
00:08:31,437 --> 00:08:33,104
in the hospital.
229
00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:36,775
Missy, you're right.
I am scared.
230
00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:38,243
You probably wouldn't understand
231
00:08:38,277 --> 00:08:41,997
because you're a normal,
Midwestern, non-creative type.
232
00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:44,916
You think I don't have issues?
233
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,519
I haven't cut my hair
since the seventh grade.
234
00:08:47,553 --> 00:08:49,654
So this hair was on your head
when Tupac was alive?
235
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:51,489
Ava...
236
00:08:51,507 --> 00:08:54,025
I know you're scared.
I'm scared.
237
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:57,395
But if you go to the hospital
to be with Reagan,
238
00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:58,763
I'll cut my hair.
239
00:08:58,798 --> 00:09:00,373
No, you won't.
240
00:09:04,203 --> 00:09:06,880
Anything but a mullet
or a "Rachel" from friends.
241
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,840
Oh, yeah!
242
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:10,508
Was that a really big one?
243
00:09:10,526 --> 00:09:12,777
Yeah. They're getting closer now.
244
00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:14,929
Oh, hi, ma'am?
We're having a baby.
245
00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,181
Guess you're about to be
part of our big special day,
246
00:09:17,199 --> 00:09:18,250
the three of us.
247
00:09:18,284 --> 00:09:19,985
- Lemme get you a wheelchair.
- Hey!
248
00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:21,386
Look who it is!
249
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,038
What are you doing here, neighbors?
250
00:09:23,072 --> 00:09:24,739
Well, we're having a baby, gene.
251
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:27,459
Welcome to the baby club!
252
00:09:27,493 --> 00:09:28,743
Bet you're real nervous, huh?
253
00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:31,663
No, no, I'm good.
Just, you know, been, uh,
254
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,431
been knowing that I was
gonna have a natural birth
255
00:09:33,466 --> 00:09:34,416
- the whole time--
- ha!
256
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,659
No pain killers. Good luck.
257
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,119
Yeah. Well, that's in our birth plan.
258
00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:39,829
Ha! Birth plan!
259
00:09:39,995 --> 00:09:42,974
Our first one took
32 hours, right, Terry?
260
00:09:43,009 --> 00:09:45,793
Pure agony. It's worse
than they tell ya.
261
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:48,580
- And the tearing.
- Yeah.
262
00:09:48,614 --> 00:09:50,965
Oh, but this one came out
like it was on a slide.
263
00:09:51,131 --> 00:09:52,417
Had to oil up my catcher's mitt.
264
00:09:52,451 --> 00:09:55,094
Poof! Strike!
265
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,223
- Gross!
- God.
266
00:09:58,257 --> 00:10:00,850
- Great to see you guys.
- Oh. Oh.
267
00:10:02,128 --> 00:10:05,397
Did you do it?
Do I look cute?
268
00:10:05,431 --> 00:10:06,564
Yeah...
269
00:10:06,599 --> 00:10:08,316
Great! Let's go.
270
00:10:11,037 --> 00:10:12,937
Ava?
271
00:10:12,972 --> 00:10:17,108
No. I can't do it.
I'm not going to the hospital.
272
00:10:17,143 --> 00:10:18,076
I'm sorry.
273
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,713
We had a deal.
274
00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:24,382
And you ruined my hair, didn't you?
275
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,584
Yeah.
276
00:10:26,619 --> 00:10:29,254
Get in the car.
We're going to the hospital.
277
00:10:29,288 --> 00:10:30,388
You're fired.
278
00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:34,025
No, I'm not.
Listen to me, b-word.
279
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:36,461
Get your sweet a-word in the car.
280
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:38,730
You're going to help your friend.
281
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,723
F-word!
282
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:43,451
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow! Ow!
283
00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:44,569
I don't know about you,
284
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,472
but I feel
super vulnerable like this.
285
00:10:47,506 --> 00:10:49,941
Yeah? Try it with your pants off.
286
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:51,643
Oh, God!
287
00:10:51,677 --> 00:10:53,745
Babe, are you sure you're okay?
288
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,146
You don't want me to get...
289
00:10:55,181 --> 00:10:57,182
No, I'm good. I'm awesome.
290
00:10:57,216 --> 00:10:59,217
God, where's Dr. Goldberg?
291
00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:00,618
Well, I'm sure she's
on her way by now.
292
00:11:00,636 --> 00:11:02,245
- Don't worry about it.
- Mr. and Mrs. Brinkley?
293
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,413
- Huh?
- Oh, hey.
294
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:04,789
- Hi.
- Hi.
295
00:11:04,824 --> 00:11:06,257
Hi, yeah, sorry,
we're actually waiting
296
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,193
for Dr. Goldberg.
Dr. Ruth Goldberg. So...
297
00:11:08,227 --> 00:11:10,920
Unfortunately, she's
in delivery with triplets today.
298
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:14,199
I'm Dr. Goddard.
I'll be handling your delivery.
299
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:17,986
Can you excuse us
for just one second, please?
300
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:19,854
Thank you.
301
00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:20,972
- What's wrong, dear?
- Okay.
302
00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:23,241
That doctor...Is gorgeous.
303
00:11:23,275 --> 00:11:25,527
Yeah, no, I know.
He's, like, Dutch or something.
304
00:11:25,578 --> 00:11:27,479
- Is there a problem?
- Um...
305
00:11:27,513 --> 00:11:31,366
- Yeah, actually, there is.
- Well, I mean, it's not...
306
00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:35,387
Yeah, I'm gonna...I'm gonna
level with you, here, uh...
307
00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:38,022
Doctor, you, um...
308
00:11:38,057 --> 00:11:39,924
You are very good looking.
309
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,126
You are a good looking guy.
310
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,327
I mean, your teeth are
crazy off-the-charts...
311
00:11:43,345 --> 00:11:45,013
Thank you.
That's very kind of you.
312
00:11:45,047 --> 00:11:48,683
So here's the deal.
There is no way in hell
313
00:11:48,718 --> 00:11:51,703
that I am gonna have you
up in my business
314
00:11:51,737 --> 00:11:54,739
- when things get real, okay?
- We saw a video
315
00:11:54,774 --> 00:11:58,259
where things got very real.
We're still really recovering.
316
00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:04,082
When I start pushing,
things are gonna get real-real.
317
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:06,184
I think we all know
what I'm talking about.
318
00:12:08,487 --> 00:12:10,188
I think she's talking about poop.
319
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,291
Which is why I want a female doctor,
320
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:14,926
so that I am comfortable
321
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,228
in an already very
delicate situation.
322
00:12:17,263 --> 00:12:20,064
So you can [Clicking tongue],
323
00:12:20,099 --> 00:12:22,066
- and go find me a woman.
- Quick question.
324
00:12:22,101 --> 00:12:24,285
Do we--do we even have
a choice in this matter?
325
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:25,870
No. Sorry.
326
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,339
Right, okay. So, babe, let's
just give him the birth plan.
327
00:12:28,374 --> 00:12:30,542
He's a--come on, what are we
going to do?--He's a doctor.
328
00:12:30,576 --> 00:12:33,378
It's fine, I'm sure he knows...
329
00:12:35,815 --> 00:12:37,015
This is very thorough.
330
00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,267
It's north of 30 pages.
331
00:12:39,318 --> 00:12:43,922
If I [Bleep] Myself,
nobody says a word, got it?
332
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:46,157
Got it.
333
00:12:46,192 --> 00:12:48,226
- But do you got it?
- Babe...
334
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:49,260
I-I got it.
335
00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:56,970
How we doing, babe?
How we doing?
336
00:12:57,004 --> 00:12:59,005
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good,
I'm good, I'm good...
337
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,641
oh, there I go, okay. Oh!
338
00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:03,109
- You okay?
- I'm good.
339
00:13:03,143 --> 00:13:05,478
Yeah, the doctors said
it was gonna take five hours.
340
00:13:05,496 --> 00:13:07,747
I'm gonna do it in two.
I'm doing it in two.
341
00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:08,814
All right, babe,
but it doesn't matter.
342
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:10,316
It's not a competition.
343
00:13:10,351 --> 00:13:12,835
You can always get an epidural,
you don't need to be a hero...
344
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:15,821
No, I am 100% sure
I am not getting an epidural.
345
00:13:15,839 --> 00:13:17,338
Okay? We are sticking to the plan.
346
00:13:17,504 --> 00:13:20,043
- Reagan, I'm here.
- Oh, finally, gosh.
347
00:13:20,094 --> 00:13:22,969
- I brought your bag.
- Thank you, thank you.
348
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,932
I am so sorry I haven't
been there for you
349
00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:27,967
- because I'm afraid.
- Okay.
350
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:29,392
And not just of hospitals.
351
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,504
But I'm afraid that
I wouldn't be able to help.
352
00:13:31,538 --> 00:13:33,806
But I want to,
so first thing's first,
353
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,440
you look like you're
a little bit uncomfortable.
354
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,191
- Yeah.
- So if it gets to be too much,
355
00:13:37,357 --> 00:13:39,062
I have a joint in my purse.
356
00:13:39,113 --> 00:13:43,700
Yeah, that's gonna be a no
on the toke of grass, honey.
357
00:13:43,734 --> 00:13:46,152
- But thank you.
- Yeah.
358
00:13:46,186 --> 00:13:48,121
- Where's my headband?
- What headband?
359
00:13:48,155 --> 00:13:50,356
She specifically asked you
for a headband.
360
00:13:50,391 --> 00:13:52,742
You want a headband?
I can get you a headband.
361
00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:55,161
I will get you the finest headband,
362
00:13:55,195 --> 00:14:01,134
and, just in case,
I'm gonna leave this pen
363
00:14:01,168 --> 00:14:02,468
right here on the table.
364
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:03,468
It's the pot.
365
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,760
- Yeah, we got it.
- Yeah, we know.
366
00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:06,723
Ow!
367
00:14:06,757 --> 00:14:09,175
Baby, you sure you
don't want the epidural?
368
00:14:09,209 --> 00:14:11,309
No pain killers!
369
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:15,047
Ah, I feel so much better.
370
00:14:15,065 --> 00:14:18,985
Like, hello.
So much better, honey.
371
00:14:19,019 --> 00:14:20,019
Why did I wait so long?
372
00:14:20,054 --> 00:14:21,154
I was trying to tell you.
373
00:14:21,188 --> 00:14:23,022
I mean, lots of women
get epidurals, you know?
374
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:24,123
Of course!
375
00:14:24,158 --> 00:14:27,727
Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama
376
00:14:27,761 --> 00:14:30,830
and Amelia Earhart.
377
00:14:30,864 --> 00:14:32,163
We gotta find her.
378
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:34,450
That your phone?
379
00:14:38,405 --> 00:14:40,306
- Hey, dude.
- That mark? Is that mark?
380
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:43,810
- Great.
- Tell mark our doctor's hot.
381
00:14:43,844 --> 00:14:45,178
And that it's really awkward.
382
00:14:45,212 --> 00:14:47,547
But I've, I've come to grips with it.
383
00:14:47,581 --> 00:14:50,583
Listen, I, uh, I gotta go.
I, uh, I'll see you next week.
384
00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:52,268
Okay. Great.
385
00:14:52,302 --> 00:14:53,619
Well, I'm gonna check you again,
386
00:14:53,654 --> 00:14:55,288
but I think we're about ready
to start pushing.
387
00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:56,556
Reagan, you ready?
388
00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:59,315
Oh, you just brace yourself
there, pretty boy,
389
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:00,560
'cause this baby is gonna
390
00:15:00,594 --> 00:15:03,496
shoot out like a cannonball, okay?
391
00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:07,156
I am gonna be the best
pusher you ever saw.
392
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:10,703
Eight, nine, ten.
393
00:15:10,737 --> 00:15:11,904
Good, that's great.
394
00:15:11,938 --> 00:15:14,040
That was a good one.
I can do better.
395
00:15:14,074 --> 00:15:15,458
No, I can do better than that.
396
00:15:15,492 --> 00:15:16,709
You're doing great, babe.
You're doing great.
397
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:19,045
All right. Tell me when
the next contraction is,
398
00:15:19,079 --> 00:15:20,713
because I want to get this
baby out in four pushes or less.
399
00:15:20,747 --> 00:15:21,848
Would you like the mirror?
400
00:15:21,882 --> 00:15:23,950
You can see everything
that's going on.
401
00:15:23,984 --> 00:15:25,251
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
402
00:15:25,285 --> 00:15:26,853
- That'd be amazing.
- That'd be great.
403
00:15:26,887 --> 00:15:28,971
- We can see her come out.
- And watch her come out.
404
00:15:29,006 --> 00:15:30,137
- That would be so good.
- Oh, honey.
405
00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,974
Reagan, get ready to push.
406
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,143
Okay, here we go, ready?
One, two, three...
407
00:15:37,131 --> 00:15:38,297
- Oh, no, no, no!
- Oh, God. No, no, no!
408
00:15:38,332 --> 00:15:39,897
No mirror! No mirror!
No mirror! No mirror!
409
00:15:40,063 --> 00:15:42,108
- Nobody ever should see that.
- Oh, God.
410
00:15:44,371 --> 00:15:46,172
Tell her I said good luck.
411
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,806
Thank you for all your help.
412
00:15:47,825 --> 00:15:51,110
And your hair looks kind of cute.
413
00:15:51,145 --> 00:15:53,145
Sir, you can't park here.
Ambulance only.
414
00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:54,664
Move it along, mister.
415
00:15:54,698 --> 00:15:56,582
Thanks, bro.
416
00:15:59,486 --> 00:16:00,536
Oh, God.
417
00:16:00,587 --> 00:16:02,755
Pushing's not working, Mrs. Brinkley.
418
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,874
Baby's head may be too big.
419
00:16:04,925 --> 00:16:07,093
I'm recommending a c-section.
420
00:16:07,127 --> 00:16:08,094
No, thank you.
421
00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:09,712
Actually, it's not optional.
422
00:16:09,763 --> 00:16:12,064
Well, that's not in the plan.
423
00:16:12,099 --> 00:16:14,901
I plan on having a baby
with a normal-sized head.
424
00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:16,869
Not my husband's
enormous freakin' head.
425
00:16:16,904 --> 00:16:21,040
Sorry, honey. So...
Shall I continue to push?
426
00:16:21,074 --> 00:16:22,475
Hey, doctor, you wanna
give us a minute?
427
00:16:22,509 --> 00:16:23,608
Actually, doc, you can go home,
428
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,278
'cause this isn't happening today.
429
00:16:25,312 --> 00:16:28,013
'Cause I-I gotta go.
Yeah, I gotta go.
430
00:16:28,031 --> 00:16:29,282
We'll just come back tomorrow
431
00:16:29,316 --> 00:16:31,317
when we can do this
in the right way, right, honey?
432
00:16:31,351 --> 00:16:35,421
So why don't you, uh, go outside
and pull the car around
433
00:16:35,455 --> 00:16:38,457
because it's not gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen.
434
00:16:38,492 --> 00:16:39,792
Honey, honey. Don't do this.
Not a good idea.
435
00:16:39,826 --> 00:16:41,527
Excuse me, honey, I'm a grownup.
436
00:16:41,545 --> 00:16:43,029
I'm an adult person.
437
00:16:43,063 --> 00:16:46,499
And I am a producer of quality
television programming.
438
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:48,867
So I will decide
what will and will not happen,
439
00:16:48,886 --> 00:16:52,071
and a c-section
is not happening, okay?
440
00:16:52,105 --> 00:16:53,539
Babe, you've gotta
let go of the plan.
441
00:16:53,574 --> 00:16:55,040
No, you don't understand,
the plan is the only thing
442
00:16:55,058 --> 00:16:57,209
that is keeping me
from complete chaos right now.
443
00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:59,512
Oh, honey, our lives
are changing forever.
444
00:16:59,546 --> 00:17:00,780
Do you understand that?
445
00:17:00,814 --> 00:17:02,682
I mean, we drank a $9 bottle of wine,
446
00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:03,816
and now there's another
human being on the earth.
447
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:05,217
Babe.
448
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,886
Do you understand what's about
to happen to my body?
449
00:17:07,905 --> 00:17:10,573
It's insane, okay?
We saw the video.
450
00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:12,825
It's, it's a horror-show!
451
00:17:12,859 --> 00:17:14,742
I know you didn't want
any of this to happen,
452
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,562
and this is not going
according to plan,
453
00:17:16,597 --> 00:17:18,097
but that's okay.
454
00:17:18,131 --> 00:17:20,533
Now we gotta listen
to the doctor, okay?
455
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,084
I'm here, sweetheart.
Everything's gonna be fine.
456
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,419
We're gonna get
through this together.
457
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:28,241
Are you guys ready?
458
00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:29,965
Yeah.
459
00:17:32,613 --> 00:17:39,585
♪ Oh, now I feel it
coming back again ♪
460
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:45,591
♪ like a rolling thunder
chasing the wind ♪
461
00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:50,861
♪ I can feel it ♪
462
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,066
Honey, you can keep your clothes on.
463
00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:55,952
Are you sure? They weren't
really clear about that.
464
00:17:55,986 --> 00:17:57,119
- What are you doing out here?
- Hey.
465
00:17:57,154 --> 00:17:58,321
I got her the headband.
466
00:17:58,372 --> 00:17:59,739
Listen, Reagan's gonna
have a c-section.
467
00:17:59,773 --> 00:18:01,457
- What?
- Yeah, it's okay.
468
00:18:01,491 --> 00:18:03,242
They said the baby's head
is too big, so...
469
00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:04,443
A-are you okay?
470
00:18:04,461 --> 00:18:05,778
Well, in five minutes,
471
00:18:05,796 --> 00:18:07,163
they're gonna operate
on my wife in front of me,
472
00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:09,882
and then they're gonna
pull out a human person
473
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,884
all covered in Gore,
and I'm gonna be a father,
474
00:18:11,918 --> 00:18:13,884
and how the hell am I supposed to...
475
00:18:15,555 --> 00:18:16,929
wow. Why did you do that?
476
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,224
I don't know.
477
00:18:18,258 --> 00:18:21,260
As soon as it happened,
I regretted the choice.
478
00:18:21,295 --> 00:18:23,329
But you can do this.
479
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,631
You have always taken care of Reagan,
480
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:28,601
and she is not easy like me.
481
00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:31,360
Now just go in there
and take care of her, Chris.
482
00:18:31,526 --> 00:18:32,903
- Okay.
- And here.
483
00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:36,742
Will you give her this headband?
It's absolutely gorgeous.
484
00:18:36,777 --> 00:18:39,679
- Hey, thanks, Ava.
- My pleasure.
485
00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:42,663
Love you guys.
Oh, okay...
486
00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:44,784
Oh...
487
00:18:44,818 --> 00:18:45,951
All right, you gotta
go in there, sweetie.
488
00:18:45,986 --> 00:18:47,084
Yeah, right.
489
00:18:50,257 --> 00:18:52,658
Hey, look, babe.
490
00:18:52,693 --> 00:18:53,799
Hi.
491
00:18:55,796 --> 00:18:57,136
Thanks.
492
00:18:58,465 --> 00:19:01,233
I love you, too.
Love you, too.
493
00:19:01,268 --> 00:19:02,852
Ma'am, you need
to come with me, please.
494
00:19:04,705 --> 00:19:06,305
Babe, you gotta promise me
495
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:07,773
you're not gonna look
over that curtain, okay?
496
00:19:07,808 --> 00:19:09,108
'Cause if you look over that curtain,
497
00:19:09,142 --> 00:19:10,843
you're not gonna look at me
the same way again.
498
00:19:10,877 --> 00:19:12,545
- I won't look, I promise.
- Okay.
499
00:19:12,579 --> 00:19:13,979
Mrs. Brinkley?
500
00:19:14,013 --> 00:19:16,732
We usually have music playing.
Do you have any preference?
501
00:19:16,783 --> 00:19:19,218
Our birth mix, but we don't have it,
502
00:19:19,252 --> 00:19:22,521
so I-I...Whatever you have,
that's fine.
503
00:19:22,556 --> 00:19:23,989
- W-wait, it's on my iPhone.
- It is?
504
00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:26,375
I have my iPhone.
Wait, wait, wait.
505
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,911
- It's already pre-loaded.
- Oh, gosh, oh, thank you.
506
00:19:28,962 --> 00:19:31,128
Something that's going with the plan.
507
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:37,970
♪ ♪
508
00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:39,538
Oh, wait, that's my workout mix.
509
00:19:39,556 --> 00:19:41,707
- That's my workout mix.
- Honey, it, it's...
510
00:19:41,725 --> 00:19:43,709
It's okay.
511
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:46,211
Daddy, get your camera ready.
512
00:19:46,229 --> 00:19:47,813
- Really?
- Oh, my gosh.
513
00:19:47,848 --> 00:19:51,190
All right, okay.
514
00:19:52,152 --> 00:19:53,119
Wow.
515
00:19:53,153 --> 00:19:54,720
What? What is it?
516
00:19:54,755 --> 00:19:56,589
Is it bad? Is it gross?
517
00:19:56,623 --> 00:19:57,571
Am I gross?
518
00:20:01,428 --> 00:20:04,630
No.
519
00:20:04,664 --> 00:20:06,198
You're the most beautiful thing
in the whole world,
520
00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:08,934
and I love you so much.
521
00:20:08,969 --> 00:20:12,405
I love you, too.
522
00:20:21,581 --> 00:20:24,216
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
523
00:20:24,251 --> 00:20:26,018
You've got a grip.
524
00:20:26,052 --> 00:20:28,187
You're strong, that's what you are.
525
00:20:28,221 --> 00:20:29,855
Hey, mark, it's Chris.
526
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:31,774
I'm not gonna make it in next week.
527
00:20:31,808 --> 00:20:36,862
In fact, it might be a while.
528
00:20:36,897 --> 00:20:40,239
Okay.
529
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:46,036
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