1
00:00:01,792 --> 00:00:04,446
So, Bernadette, how goes
the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
2
00:00:04,447 --> 00:00:06,013
Well, if you don't mind
looking like
3
00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:07,815
an orange traffic cone, great.
4
00:00:07,817 --> 00:00:10,568
Girlfriends,
I have the answer
5
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:11,736
to our dress problems.
6
00:00:11,738 --> 00:00:12,787
Really?
7
00:00:12,789 --> 00:00:14,905
12 years ago,
my cousin Irene
8
00:00:14,907 --> 00:00:16,023
and her entire family died
9
00:00:16,025 --> 00:00:18,025
in a horrific
carbon monoxide accident
10
00:00:18,027 --> 00:00:20,077
the night before her wedding.
11
00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:22,713
That's horrible.
12
00:00:22,715 --> 00:00:24,498
Yes and no.
13
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:27,551
All those bridesmaids dresses
remain unused
14
00:00:27,553 --> 00:00:29,754
and available to us for free.
15
00:00:29,756 --> 00:00:31,756
So it seems
16
00:00:31,758 --> 00:00:33,557
that cloud of
odorless deadly gas
17
00:00:33,559 --> 00:00:35,342
had a silver lining after all.
18
00:00:35,344 --> 00:00:36,844
Check it out,
19
00:00:36,846 --> 00:00:37,878
still in the bags.
20
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,847
The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
21
00:00:42,517 --> 00:00:43,818
I don't know.
22
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,486
Dead people's dresses?
23
00:00:45,488 --> 00:00:47,521
Yeah, and
cap sleeve
24
00:00:47,523 --> 00:00:49,273
Eh...
25
00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:51,558
Oh, I was hoping
you wouldn't notice.
26
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,694
Irene was always
a slave to a good bargain
27
00:00:53,696 --> 00:00:54,895
when it came to clothes,
28
00:00:54,897 --> 00:00:57,164
and sadly as it turned out,
space heaters.
29
00:00:58,366 --> 00:00:59,950
Ladies, please.
30
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:04,455
These four walls once housed
an intellectual salon
31
00:01:04,457 --> 00:01:06,573
where the mind
received nourishment
32
00:01:06,575 --> 00:01:08,125
as well as the stomach.
33
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:11,078
But through no one's fault,
Penny,
34
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,131
the quality of
dinner conversation
35
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,250
in this apartment
has declined.
36
00:01:16,252 --> 00:01:20,271
And again, I'm looking at
no one in particular, Penny.
37
00:01:21,523 --> 00:01:22,723
Fine.
38
00:01:22,725 --> 00:01:24,275
What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?
39
00:01:24,277 --> 00:01:26,727
"What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?"
40
00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:28,896
Why do you hate us?
41
00:01:30,198 --> 00:01:31,431
I've prepared a number of topics
44
00:01:35,655 --> 00:01:37,705
Okay, that time
you looked at me.
45
00:01:38,623 --> 00:01:39,707
Who didn't?
46
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:41,125
Your skin is
like alabaster.
47
00:01:41,127 --> 00:01:43,461
Do you even
have pores?
48
00:01:46,048 --> 00:01:48,549
"Faster-than-light particles
at CERN--
49
00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:50,484
"paradigm-shifting discovery
50
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:53,838
or another Swiss export as
full of holes as their cheese?"
51
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,222
And converse.
52
00:01:56,308 --> 00:01:58,025
All right, who wants to go
53
00:01:58,027 --> 00:01:59,426
to my apartment and look at
bridal magazines?
54
00:01:59,428 --> 00:02:00,728
Oh, me.
55
00:02:00,730 --> 00:02:03,564
Through no one's fault, Sheldon,
we're leaving.
56
00:02:05,350 --> 00:02:07,234
Wait for moi.
57
00:02:07,236 --> 00:02:09,153
You're leaving?
58
00:02:09,155 --> 00:02:11,939
Sheldon, sometimes you forget,
I'm a lady.
59
00:02:11,941 --> 00:02:13,073
And with that comes
60
00:02:13,075 --> 00:02:14,658
an estrogen-fueled need
to page through
61
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,077
thick glossy magazines
that make me hate my body.
62
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,168
New topic: women.
63
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:28,205
Delightfully mysterious
or bat-crap crazy?
64
00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,206
Totally.
65
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:30,657
What's wrong with cap sleeves?
66
00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:33,294
If you have the right figure
for it, they're adorable.
67
00:02:36,664 --> 00:02:40,301
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
68
00:02:40,303 --> 00:02:43,637
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
69
00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,272
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
70
00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:47,791
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
71
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,461
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
72
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:53,147
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
73
00:02:53,149 --> 00:02:55,032
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
74
00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:55,694
♪ Bang! ♪
75
00:02:55,695 --> 00:02:58,695
The Big Bang Theory 5x08
The Isolation Permutation
Original Air Date on November 3, 2011
76
00:02:59,196 --> 00:03:02,296
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
77
00:03:02,338 --> 00:03:05,206
Hey, Amy, what brings you
to our neck of the woods?
78
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:08,042
Your neurology department
loaned me a culture of prions
79
00:03:08,044 --> 00:03:10,828
for my research on bovine
spongiform encephalopathy.
80
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:18,686
She popped by to borrow
a cup of mad cow disease.
81
00:03:20,556 --> 00:03:23,107
It's hard to make degenerative
brain maladies hilarious,
82
00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:24,943
and yet somehow you do it.
83
00:03:26,695 --> 00:03:28,897
That's fun to have
in a lunchroom.
84
00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:31,115
The real fun starts
when you get to pick the rat
85
00:03:31,117 --> 00:03:33,184
you're going to feed it to,
and maybe you choose
86
00:03:33,186 --> 00:03:36,037
the beady-eyed little mother
who's been biting you all week.
87
00:03:36,039 --> 00:03:38,823
Please, we're eating.
88
00:03:38,825 --> 00:03:40,458
Can we get that
off the table
89
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:41,459
and change the subject?
90
00:03:41,461 --> 00:03:42,410
Can we?
91
00:03:42,412 --> 00:03:44,245
Stand back...
92
00:03:44,247 --> 00:03:48,883
while I turn this conversation
into a "conver-sensation."
93
00:03:48,885 --> 00:03:51,002
This time, it's your fault.
94
00:03:52,137 --> 00:03:54,556
I have 100
alphabetized topics from
95
00:03:54,558 --> 00:03:57,592
"artichoke-- come on, people,
it's just a giant thistle,"
96
00:03:57,594 --> 00:04:02,897
to "zzz-- the onamona-poetry
of sleep."
97
00:04:02,899 --> 00:04:04,882
Amy, how long
would it take
98
00:04:04,884 --> 00:04:07,902
for that mad cow disease
to kill me?
99
00:04:07,904 --> 00:04:09,938
I don't know,
four or five years.
100
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,724
No, it's not gonna do it.
101
00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:19,747
Oy. Bernadette keeps
texting me pictures
102
00:04:19,749 --> 00:04:22,333
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
103
00:04:22,335 --> 00:04:23,952
They're out shopping right now?
104
00:04:23,954 --> 00:04:24,919
Yeah.
105
00:04:24,921 --> 00:04:26,120
Just the two of them?
106
00:04:26,122 --> 00:04:27,738
I guess.
107
00:04:28,574 --> 00:04:32,043
That's cool, that's cool.
108
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,962
Why are they asking me
about this stuff?
109
00:04:33,964 --> 00:04:37,432
What guy knows
what a sweetheart neckline is?
110
00:04:48,927 --> 00:04:52,280
Leonard's coming down
the home stretch!
111
00:04:54,817 --> 00:04:57,035
Come on, horsey,
you can do this!
112
00:04:58,937 --> 00:05:02,323
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles,
you can do this!
113
00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,793
Yes! First place.
114
00:05:05,795 --> 00:05:09,881
I would have been a great jockey
if I weren't too tall.
115
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,885
And scared of horses.
116
00:05:13,887 --> 00:05:15,136
Sheldon, you're up.
117
00:05:15,138 --> 00:05:16,638
What?
118
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:17,805
Come on, it's your turn.
119
00:05:17,807 --> 00:05:20,341
We said we'd get more fresh air.
120
00:05:20,343 --> 00:05:21,926
Sorry.
121
00:05:21,928 --> 00:05:23,261
I'm a little distracted.
122
00:05:23,263 --> 00:05:25,430
I can't seem
to get in touch with Amy.
123
00:05:25,432 --> 00:05:27,298
I tried e-mail, video chat,
124
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:28,799
tweeting her,
posting on
125
00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:31,269
her Facebook wall,
texting her, nothing.
126
00:05:31,271 --> 00:05:33,237
Did you try calling her
on the telephone?
127
00:05:34,073 --> 00:05:36,157
The telephone.
128
00:05:39,478 --> 00:05:42,280
You know, Leonard,
in your own simple way,
129
00:05:42,282 --> 00:05:44,982
you may be the wisest of us all.
130
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,168
Voice mail.
131
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:50,922
Curiouser and curiouser.
132
00:05:50,924 --> 00:05:52,590
If you're worried,
we can go over there
133
00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:53,824
and see if she's all right.
134
00:05:53,826 --> 00:05:54,992
Okay.
135
00:05:54,994 --> 00:05:56,461
You know, I heard
in the news
136
00:05:56,463 --> 00:06:00,431
a bobcat has been spotted
in her neighborhood.
137
00:06:00,433 --> 00:06:03,301
I don't think
Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
138
00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:06,187
Who thinks Amy was
eaten by a bobcat?
139
00:06:07,056 --> 00:06:08,639
You do?
140
00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:12,643
Leonard, I was just mentioning
an interesting local news item.
141
00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:15,863
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried
Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
142
00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:17,949
Forget about the bobcat.
143
00:06:17,951 --> 00:06:20,702
How can I?
You won't stop talking about it!
144
00:06:23,489 --> 00:06:28,459
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
145
00:06:28,461 --> 00:06:30,861
♪ Sometimes ♪
146
00:06:30,863 --> 00:06:34,215
♪ Everybody cries ♪
147
00:06:37,553 --> 00:06:41,872
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
148
00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,042
Sometimes.
149
00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:46,461
She sounds weepy.
150
00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:47,979
I don't like weepy. Let's go.
151
00:06:47,981 --> 00:06:49,430
Uh...
152
00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:50,732
She's your friend.
153
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:52,100
Step up.
154
00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:56,053
Amy. Amy. Amy.
155
00:06:56,055 --> 00:06:57,572
Bye.
156
00:06:57,574 --> 00:06:58,689
Where are you going?
157
00:06:58,691 --> 00:07:01,492
I'm single, I don't
need this crap.
158
00:07:03,728 --> 00:07:05,062
Sheldon, what are you
doing here?
159
00:07:05,064 --> 00:07:06,197
You didn't respond to
160
00:07:06,199 --> 00:07:08,166
any of my electronic
communications.
161
00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:09,951
I wanted to be alone.
162
00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:14,539
Would you like to talk about it?
163
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:19,677
And keep in mind that "no"
is a perfectly viable answer.
164
00:07:19,679 --> 00:07:23,014
Sheldon, my world is
crumbling around me.
165
00:07:23,016 --> 00:07:25,249
Point of order.
166
00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:28,252
As you're in distress,
it would be customary
167
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:30,471
for me to offer you
a hot beverage.
168
00:07:31,673 --> 00:07:33,524
But I'm a guest in your home,
169
00:07:33,526 --> 00:07:37,028
so it would be customary for you
to offer me a beverage.
170
00:07:38,263 --> 00:07:41,949
How do you want to proceed
vis-à-vis beverages?
171
00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,117
It doesn't matter.
172
00:07:43,119 --> 00:07:45,486
Nothing matters.
173
00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:50,792
If you'd like to take your mind
off what's troubling you,
174
00:07:50,794 --> 00:07:55,163
uh, word on the street is
a bobcat has been spotted.
175
00:07:55,998 --> 00:07:57,948
Penny and Bernadette
went shopping
176
00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,783
for bridesmaids dresses
without me.
177
00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:05,456
And that made
you feel... sad?
178
00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:07,058
Yes.
179
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,810
I knew it.
180
00:08:09,728 --> 00:08:10,761
Just keep going.
181
00:08:10,763 --> 00:08:12,847
I guess I'm
good at this.
182
00:08:14,516 --> 00:08:16,851
It's just, I thought
they liked hanging out with me,
183
00:08:16,853 --> 00:08:19,237
but I guess I was
fooling myself.
184
00:08:19,239 --> 00:08:21,989
When they were
over here,
185
00:08:21,991 --> 00:08:25,809
did you fail to offer
them a beverage?
186
00:08:27,079 --> 00:08:30,748
'Cause I can see how that
could stick in someone's craw.
187
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:33,918
Sheldon, I'm going
to ask you something,
188
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,003
and I'd like you
to keep an open mind.
189
00:08:36,005 --> 00:08:37,371
Always.
190
00:08:37,373 --> 00:08:40,541
At this moment, I find myself
191
00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:42,760
craving human intimacy
and physical contact.
192
00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,662
Oh, boy.
193
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,936
You know ours is a
relationship of the mind.
194
00:08:51,938 --> 00:08:54,338
Proposal.
195
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,357
One wild night
of torrid lovemaking
196
00:08:56,359 --> 00:08:58,893
that soothes my soul
and inflames my loins.
197
00:09:03,398 --> 00:09:06,200
Counterproposal.
198
00:09:06,202 --> 00:09:09,520
I will gently
stroke your head
199
00:09:09,522 --> 00:09:13,357
and repeat, "Aw,
who's a good Amy""
200
00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:18,412
How about this?
201
00:09:18,414 --> 00:09:21,165
French kissing--
seven minutes in heaven
202
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:24,135
culminating in second base.
203
00:09:27,456 --> 00:09:30,308
Neck massage...
204
00:09:32,227 --> 00:09:34,929
...then you get me
that beverage.
205
00:09:40,552 --> 00:09:42,886
We cuddle. Final offer.
206
00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:45,439
Very well.
207
00:09:52,397 --> 00:09:54,599
Oh, boy.
208
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:20,041
I'm just saying,
second base is right there.
209
00:10:26,611 --> 00:10:28,508
Mm, I'm thinking
about adopting
210
00:10:28,509 --> 00:10:31,961
some quirky affectation,
like a pipe or a monocle
211
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:34,680
or a handlebar mustache.
212
00:10:34,682 --> 00:10:37,500
For all those girls out there
213
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:40,369
looking for
the Indian Monopoly man?
214
00:10:43,406 --> 00:10:45,074
This is not a safe place.
215
00:10:45,076 --> 00:10:47,393
You can't share anything here.
216
00:10:49,196 --> 00:10:53,365
The two of you need to get
your women in line!
217
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:55,985
What?
218
00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:57,786
Last night I was strong-armed
219
00:10:57,788 --> 00:10:59,938
into an evening
of harp music and spooning
220
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:01,874
with an emotional
Amy Farrah Fowler.
221
00:11:01,876 --> 00:11:03,075
This on a night
222
00:11:03,077 --> 00:11:04,943
that I had originally
designated for solving
223
00:11:04,945 --> 00:11:07,279
the space-time geometry
in higher-spin gravity
224
00:11:07,281 --> 00:11:09,798
and building my Lego Death Star.
225
00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:14,420
And why? Your gal pals,
Penny and Bernadette,
226
00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:16,722
went out shopping for some
wedding nonsense without Amy,
227
00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:19,058
an action they took
with no thought or regard
228
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,177
as to how it would affect me,
the future of string theory
229
00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:24,730
or my Lego fun time!
230
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:27,850
What do you want us
to do about it?
231
00:11:27,852 --> 00:11:30,185
You clearly weren't listening
to my topic sentence:
232
00:11:30,187 --> 00:11:32,104
Get your women in line!
233
00:11:33,189 --> 00:11:35,658
You make them apologize to Amy
and set things right.
234
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:38,644
I am a man of science,
not someone's snuggle bunny!
235
00:11:38,646 --> 00:11:41,313
Why do I have
to talk to Penny?
236
00:11:41,315 --> 00:11:42,665
She's not my girlfriend.
237
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,416
You invited her to lunch
four years ago.
238
00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:46,785
Everything about her is on you;
you make it so!
239
00:11:50,323 --> 00:11:52,124
- Moo-shu is Penny.
- Thank you.
240
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,542
Where's Sheldon?
241
00:11:53,544 --> 00:11:54,927
He was up late last night,
242
00:11:54,929 --> 00:11:58,130
so I gave him an early dinner
and put him to bed.
243
00:11:58,132 --> 00:11:59,632
That's so sweet.
244
00:11:59,634 --> 00:12:02,885
Yeah, but now he's gonna be
up at dawn and want to play.
245
00:12:02,887 --> 00:12:05,471
So, listen, guys,
246
00:12:05,473 --> 00:12:08,057
the reason he was up late
is because he was
247
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:09,358
taking care of Amy.
248
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,893
She's kind of upset.
249
00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:11,944
Why?
250
00:12:11,946 --> 00:12:13,612
Her feelings got hurt
because you guys
251
00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,030
went dress shopping without her.
252
00:12:15,032 --> 00:12:17,032
I told you that
would happen.
253
00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:19,318
Okay, look, this is her first
time being a bridesmaid
254
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,687
and she's just getting
a little crazy with it.
255
00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:24,241
She keeps on telling us
stories about bridesmaid
256
00:12:24,253 --> 00:12:26,479
traditions in other cultures,
and they're all about
257
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,198
getting naked and
washing each other.
258
00:12:35,669 --> 00:12:37,419
Yeah, and
she keeps trying
259
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,672
to figure out if our
cycles have synced up
260
00:12:39,674 --> 00:12:43,258
so we can call ourselves
"The Three Menstra-Teers""
261
00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:48,230
We thought it would be easier to look
at dresses one time without her.
262
00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:49,848
I feel terrible.
263
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:51,017
I know. Me, too.
We'll talk to her.
264
00:12:51,018 --> 00:12:52,267
Hey, wait,
265
00:12:52,269 --> 00:12:53,569
how did she find out?
266
00:12:54,487 --> 00:12:56,939
Raj did it.
267
00:12:59,359 --> 00:13:02,861
And he says he
would do it again.
268
00:13:04,364 --> 00:13:05,914
Hey, I'm sorry.
269
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:08,734
You sent me the picture;
I wasn't thinking.
270
00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:10,619
- Oh, Howie.
- Well, hey, I'm usually
271
00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:12,070
pretty good at
not blabbing.
272
00:13:12,072 --> 00:13:13,872
You tell me
tons of stuff
273
00:13:13,874 --> 00:13:16,592
about these guys,
and I never repeat it.
274
00:13:18,311 --> 00:13:20,512
- What do you tell him?
- Oh,
275
00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:21,747
you know, just pillow talk.
276
00:13:21,749 --> 00:13:24,299
You guys have nothing
to worry about.
277
00:13:24,301 --> 00:13:26,101
Hold on, did you talk about us
when we were dating?
278
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:29,371
No. All your little
secrets are fine.
279
00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:36,195
Yes, absolutely fine.
280
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:40,766
I'll tell you later.
281
00:13:43,936 --> 00:13:47,122
Come on, tumor.
282
00:13:47,124 --> 00:13:51,543
Come on, tumor, Mama needs an
aggressive little glioblastoma.
283
00:13:52,796 --> 00:13:55,464
Yay, brain tumor!
284
00:13:55,466 --> 00:13:59,951
Probably not the same reaction
you had when you got the news.
285
00:14:01,087 --> 00:14:03,589
- Hi.
- Hello.
286
00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:05,174
What are you doing here?
287
00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:07,176
Well, look, we just
wanted to apologize
288
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:09,511
for not bringing you
with us the other day.
289
00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:12,097
That's not necessary--
it's like Sesame Street says:
290
00:14:12,099 --> 00:14:14,483
"One of these things
is not like the other,
291
00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:17,986
one of these things
should die alone."
292
00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:20,355
Come on, Amy, let us
make it up to you.
293
00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:21,607
We'll have a girl's night;
294
00:14:21,609 --> 00:14:23,192
we'll do whatever
you want.
295
00:14:23,194 --> 00:14:24,810
We can go down
to the Korean baths
296
00:14:24,812 --> 00:14:26,495
and do that thing
you were talking about
297
00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:28,664
where we wash each other.
298
00:14:29,616 --> 00:14:32,484
With-with loofah mitts,
no hands.
299
00:14:33,703 --> 00:14:35,571
It's okay.
I'm glad this happened.
300
00:14:35,573 --> 00:14:38,290
I can stop pretending
that some beautiful girl
301
00:14:38,292 --> 00:14:40,008
and her cute-in-
the-right-light friend
302
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:42,261
want to hang out with me.
303
00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:44,329
Amy, we're really sorry.
304
00:14:44,331 --> 00:14:45,997
Yeah, we
feel awful.
305
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:48,183
Don't. I'll be okay.
You're not the first girls
306
00:14:48,185 --> 00:14:50,886
I thought were friends with me
who ended up shunning me.
307
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:53,105
It's like elementary school,
junior high,
308
00:14:53,107 --> 00:14:55,107
high school, undergrad,
grad school,
309
00:14:55,109 --> 00:14:58,060
and that semester abroad
in Norway all over again.
310
00:14:58,062 --> 00:14:59,611
Oh, come on, Amy.
311
00:15:00,447 --> 00:15:02,364
You don't get it.
312
00:15:02,366 --> 00:15:04,116
Look at this brain.
313
00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:06,952
I don't really want to.
314
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:09,154
This is us.
315
00:15:09,156 --> 00:15:11,156
Bernadette,
you are the analytical,
316
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:12,858
scientific left hemisphere.
317
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:16,044
Penny, you're the creative,
spontaneous right hemisphere.
318
00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:18,297
And where's Amy?
319
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:20,866
She's right here--
the sad little tumor
320
00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:23,469
no one wants to go
dress shopping with.
321
00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:27,673
Amy, you're not a tumor.
322
00:15:27,675 --> 00:15:30,058
Penny, tell her
she's not a tumor.
323
00:15:40,654 --> 00:15:43,388
Did you know that when
Alexander Graham Bell
324
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,252
invented the telephone,
325
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,989
he proposed answering
it with "ahoy"?
326
00:15:49,529 --> 00:15:51,747
Ahoy.
327
00:15:52,782 --> 00:15:55,501
I like it.
328
00:15:55,503 --> 00:15:58,036
Amy? Is that you?
329
00:15:58,038 --> 00:16:00,205
Have you been drinking?
330
00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:03,842
I'm sorry, I bet my sweet what?
331
00:16:04,878 --> 00:16:07,513
Well, all right.
We're on our way.
332
00:16:07,515 --> 00:16:09,214
What's going on?
333
00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:13,886
It would seem Amy is drunk
in a liquor store parking lot.
334
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:15,354
Really? Amy?
335
00:16:15,356 --> 00:16:17,139
Leonard, be glad
you can't keep a woman.
336
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,607
They are a handful.
337
00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,032
Oh, look.
338
00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,767
It's Sheldon and little Leonard.
339
00:16:28,769 --> 00:16:31,203
Hi, little Leonard.
340
00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:33,405
Hi, Amy.
341
00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:35,040
Hey, Cuddles.
342
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:37,209
Cuddles?
343
00:16:37,211 --> 00:16:38,994
Yes, Cuddles.
We cuddled.
344
00:16:38,996 --> 00:16:40,412
Grow up, Leonard.
345
00:16:42,749 --> 00:16:45,000
- Amy, what are you doing here?
- Well,
346
00:16:45,002 --> 00:16:47,219
I came here to get
a bottle of wine
347
00:16:47,221 --> 00:16:50,121
like Penny taught me to do
when you're sad.
348
00:16:50,123 --> 00:16:53,805
Yeah, but why didn't you
go back to your apartment?
349
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,144
Didn't you go
to high school, Leonard?
350
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:58,313
Parking lots are where
all the cool kids hang out.
351
00:16:58,315 --> 00:17:01,800
Not that the rat bastards
ever invited me.
352
00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:03,352
Maybe we should
get you home.
353
00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:05,303
Oh, hang on, hang on,
hang on. Sheldon,
354
00:17:05,305 --> 00:17:09,024
what would it take for you
to go into that liquor store,
355
00:17:09,026 --> 00:17:10,609
buy a bottle of hooch,
356
00:17:10,611 --> 00:17:13,061
take me across the
street to that motel,
357
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:16,164
and have your way with me?
358
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:20,869
Yeah, Sheldon,
what would it take?
359
00:17:23,322 --> 00:17:26,425
I'm begging both of you,
please, let's go.
360
00:17:26,427 --> 00:17:27,843
Okay.
361
00:17:27,845 --> 00:17:29,327
Come on.
362
00:17:29,329 --> 00:17:31,046
- Upsy-daisy.
- Whee!
363
00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:33,682
Ooh, finally someone
found second base.
364
00:17:38,521 --> 00:17:40,589
I know how you feel.
365
00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:44,893
I got a knife slicing
through my frontal lobe, too.
366
00:17:46,179 --> 00:17:47,896
Hi.
367
00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:49,180
What do you want?
368
00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:51,617
Do you want me to give
the friendship bracelet back?
369
00:17:51,619 --> 00:17:54,786
I never gave you
a friendship bracelet.
370
00:17:54,788 --> 00:17:58,457
When we first met, I made one
and pretended you gave it to me.
371
00:17:58,459 --> 00:18:00,509
You can have it back
if you want.
372
00:18:00,511 --> 00:18:05,263
No, you made that for you;
I want you to have it.
373
00:18:06,532 --> 00:18:08,750
We know you're upset,
and you have every right to be,
374
00:18:08,752 --> 00:18:11,136
but if it's okay with you,
we'd like a second chance
375
00:18:11,138 --> 00:18:12,203
to make things right.
376
00:18:12,205 --> 00:18:13,772
We are really sorry,
377
00:18:13,774 --> 00:18:16,425
and we were trying to think
of some way to show you
378
00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:17,893
how much we
care about you.
379
00:18:17,895 --> 00:18:18,927
Which is why
380
00:18:18,929 --> 00:18:20,896
it would mean so much
if you would agree
381
00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:22,931
to be the maid of honor
at my wedding.
382
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:26,401
What? Wait, is this some kind
of practical joke?
383
00:18:26,403 --> 00:18:28,570
Like in Norway,
when my "friends"
384
00:18:28,572 --> 00:18:31,773
trapped me in a sauna
with a horny otter?
385
00:18:34,661 --> 00:18:38,330
No. I-I want you to be
the maid of honor.
386
00:18:38,332 --> 00:18:39,948
Oh, my gosh.
387
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:42,668
No one's every asked me to be
the maid of honor before.
388
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:43,952
Well, that's not true.
389
00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:46,672
Once, but then they all died.
390
00:18:47,874 --> 00:18:50,258
So is that a yes?
391
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,294
Yes. Yes.
392
00:18:52,296 --> 00:18:53,962
Oh, my gosh,
393
00:18:53,964 --> 00:18:55,297
I-I have so much to do.
394
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:57,683
There's the bridal shower
and the bachelorette party.
395
00:18:57,685 --> 00:18:59,468
What should we do for
the bachelorette party?
396
00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:02,587
Oh, I know-- we'll go to
a Native American sweat lodge,
397
00:19:02,589 --> 00:19:04,272
we'll take peyote,
roll around in the mud,
398
00:19:04,274 --> 00:19:06,391
and paint fertility symbols
on Bernadette's naked body.
399
00:19:06,393 --> 00:19:07,943
So that's happening.
400
00:19:07,945 --> 00:19:10,062
Yeah, sure, sure.
401
00:19:10,064 --> 00:19:12,647
Vegas is fun, too.
402
00:19:12,649 --> 00:19:13,699
I feel like crying.
403
00:19:13,701 --> 00:19:15,367
Of course, I could
just be hormonal.
404
00:19:15,369 --> 00:19:18,286
Oh, wait. Maybe our menses are
finally syncing up. Bernadette?
405
00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:19,955
No? Penny?
406
00:19:19,957 --> 00:19:21,573
- Sorry.
- Really?
407
00:19:21,575 --> 00:19:22,541
Okay, yeah.
408
00:19:22,543 --> 00:19:23,792
Yay!
409
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:34,956
Maid of honor
Amy Farrah Fowler's
410
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:37,542
amazing behind-the-scenes
wedding video,
411
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,227
take one.
412
00:19:40,462 --> 00:19:42,330
We're just trying on dresses--
413
00:19:42,332 --> 00:19:44,532
do we really need
to record this?
414
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:47,335
I'm sorry, are you
the maid of honor?
415
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,471
I am the bride.
416
00:19:50,473 --> 00:19:53,174
So no. And action.
417
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:55,943
What do you think?
418
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,612
I love it!
419
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,380
What are you, a nun?
420
00:19:59,382 --> 00:20:03,251
Come on, bestie,
let's see some skin.
421
00:20:03,253 --> 00:20:05,653
Amy! Looking sexy!
422
00:20:05,655 --> 00:20:07,939
You think they don't
have mirrors in there?
423
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,307
I know how I look.
424
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,697
Oh...!
425
00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:19,417
Bernadette, you
look beautiful!
426
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,983
- You do.
- Thank you.
427
00:20:21,984 --> 00:20:24,125
Not Penny beautiful,
but beautiful.
428
00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:28,809
Come on, bestie,
you're up.
429
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,461
Give me a minute.
430
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,297
What is taking
you so long?
431
00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,332
Oh, Amy!
Get the hell out of here!
432
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,635
- Sorry, sorry.
- Oh, God.
433
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,186
- Amy!
- Sorry.
434
00:20:39,211 --> 00:20:43,211
== sync, corrected by elderman ==