1
00:00:03,032 --> 00:00:05,686
So, Bernadette, how goes
the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
2
00:00:05,687 --> 00:00:07,253
Well, if you don't mind
looking like
3
00:00:07,255 --> 00:00:09,055
an orange traffic cone, great.
4
00:00:09,057 --> 00:00:11,808
Girlfriends,
I have the answer
5
00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:12,976
to our dress problems.
6
00:00:12,978 --> 00:00:14,027
Really?
7
00:00:14,029 --> 00:00:16,145
12 years ago,
my cousin Irene
8
00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,263
and her entire family died
9
00:00:17,265 --> 00:00:19,265
in a horrific
carbon monoxide accident
10
00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:21,317
the night before her wedding.
11
00:00:22,486 --> 00:00:23,953
That's horrible.
12
00:00:23,955 --> 00:00:25,738
Yes and no.
13
00:00:26,824 --> 00:00:28,791
All those bridesmaids dresses
remain unused
14
00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:30,994
and available to us for free.
15
00:00:30,996 --> 00:00:32,996
So it seems
16
00:00:32,998 --> 00:00:34,797
that cloud of
odorless deadly gas
17
00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:36,582
had a silver lining after all.
18
00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:38,084
Check it out,
19
00:00:38,086 --> 00:00:39,118
still in the bags.
20
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,087
The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
21
00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,058
I don't know.
22
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:46,726
Dead people's dresses?
23
00:00:46,728 --> 00:00:48,761
Yeah, and
cap sleeve
24
00:00:48,763 --> 00:00:50,513
Eh...
25
00:00:50,515 --> 00:00:52,798
Oh, I was hoping
you wouldn't notice.
26
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,934
Irene was always
a slave to a good bargain
27
00:00:54,936 --> 00:00:56,135
when it came to clothes,
28
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:58,404
and sadly as it turned out,
space heaters.
29
00:00:59,606 --> 00:01:01,190
Ladies, please.
30
00:01:01,192 --> 00:01:05,695
These four walls once housed
an intellectual salon
31
00:01:05,697 --> 00:01:07,813
where the mind
received nourishment
32
00:01:07,815 --> 00:01:09,365
as well as the stomach.
33
00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:12,318
But through no one's fault,
Penny,
34
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,371
the quality of
dinner conversation
35
00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:17,490
in this apartment
has declined.
36
00:01:17,492 --> 00:01:21,511
And again, I'm looking at
no one in particular, Penny.
37
00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:23,963
Fine.
38
00:01:23,965 --> 00:01:25,515
What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?
39
00:01:25,517 --> 00:01:27,967
"What would you like
to talk about, Sheldon?"
40
00:01:27,969 --> 00:01:30,136
Why do you hate us?
41
00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:32,671
I've prepared a number of topics
44
00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:38,945
Okay, that time
you looked at me.
45
00:01:39,863 --> 00:01:40,947
Who didn't?
46
00:01:40,949 --> 00:01:42,365
Your skin is
like alabaster.
47
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:44,701
Do you even
have pores?
48
00:01:47,288 --> 00:01:49,789
"Faster-than-light particles
at CERN--
49
00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:51,724
"paradigm-shifting discovery
50
00:01:51,726 --> 00:01:55,078
or another Swiss export as
full of holes as their cheese?"
51
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,462
And converse.
52
00:01:57,548 --> 00:01:59,265
All right, who wants to go
53
00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:00,666
to my apartment and look at
bridal magazines?
54
00:02:00,668 --> 00:02:01,968
Oh, me.
55
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:04,804
Through no one's fault, Sheldon,
we're leaving.
56
00:02:06,590 --> 00:02:08,474
Wait for moi.
57
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,393
You're leaving?
58
00:02:10,395 --> 00:02:13,179
Sheldon, sometimes you forget,
I'm a lady.
59
00:02:13,181 --> 00:02:14,313
And with that comes
60
00:02:14,315 --> 00:02:15,898
an estrogen-fueled need
to page through
61
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,317
thick glossy magazines
that make me hate my body.
62
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,408
New topic: women.
63
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:29,445
Delightfully mysterious
or bat-crap crazy?
64
00:02:29,447 --> 00:02:30,446
Totally.
65
00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:31,897
What's wrong with cap sleeves?
66
00:02:31,899 --> 00:02:34,534
If you have the right figure
for it, they're adorable.
67
00:02:37,904 --> 00:02:41,541
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
68
00:02:41,543 --> 00:02:44,877
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
69
00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,512
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
70
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:49,031
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
71
00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:51,701
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
72
00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:54,387
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
73
00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:56,272
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
74
00:02:56,274 --> 00:02:56,934
♪ Bang! ♪
75
00:02:56,935 --> 00:03:00,435
The Big Bang Theory 5x08
The Isolation Permutation
Original Air Date on November 3, 2011
76
00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:03,836
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
77
00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:07,335
Hey, Amy, what brings you
to our neck of the woods?
78
00:03:07,336 --> 00:03:10,170
Your neurology department
loaned me a culture of prions
79
00:03:10,172 --> 00:03:12,956
for my research on bovine
spongiform encephalopathy.
80
00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:20,814
She popped by to borrow
a cup of mad cow disease.
81
00:03:22,684 --> 00:03:25,235
It's hard to make degenerative
brain maladies hilarious,
82
00:03:25,237 --> 00:03:27,071
and yet somehow you do it.
83
00:03:28,823 --> 00:03:31,025
That's fun to have
in a lunchroom.
84
00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:33,243
The real fun starts
when you get to pick the rat
85
00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:35,312
you're going to feed it to,
and maybe you choose
86
00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:38,165
the beady-eyed little mother
who's been biting you all week.
87
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,951
Please, we're eating.
88
00:03:40,953 --> 00:03:42,586
Can we get that
off the table
89
00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:43,587
and change the subject?
90
00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:44,538
Can we?
91
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:46,373
Stand back...
92
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:51,011
while I turn this conversation
into a "conver-sensation."
93
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,130
This time, it's your fault.
94
00:03:54,265 --> 00:03:56,684
I have 100
alphabetized topics from
95
00:03:56,686 --> 00:03:59,720
"artichoke-- come on, people,
it's just a giant thistle,"
96
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:05,025
to "zzz-- the onamona-poetry
of sleep."
97
00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:07,010
Amy, how long
would it take
98
00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:10,030
for that mad cow disease
to kill me?
99
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,066
I don't know,
four or five years.
100
00:04:13,568 --> 00:04:15,852
No, it's not gonna do it.
101
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:21,875
Oy. Bernadette keeps
texting me pictures
102
00:04:21,877 --> 00:04:24,461
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
103
00:04:24,463 --> 00:04:26,080
They're out shopping right now?
104
00:04:26,082 --> 00:04:27,047
Yeah.
105
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,248
Just the two of them?
106
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,866
I guess.
107
00:04:30,702 --> 00:04:34,171
That's cool, that's cool.
108
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,090
Why are they asking me
about this stuff?
109
00:04:36,092 --> 00:04:39,560
What guy knows
what a sweetheart neckline is?
110
00:04:51,055 --> 00:04:54,408
Leonard's coming down
the home stretch!
111
00:04:56,945 --> 00:04:59,163
Come on, horsey,
you can do this!
112
00:05:01,065 --> 00:05:04,451
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles,
you can do this!
113
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,921
Yes! First place.
114
00:05:07,923 --> 00:05:12,009
I would have been a great jockey
if I weren't too tall.
115
00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:16,013
And scared of horses.
116
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,264
Sheldon, you're up.
117
00:05:17,266 --> 00:05:18,766
What?
118
00:05:18,768 --> 00:05:19,933
Come on, it's your turn.
119
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:22,469
We said we'd get more fresh air.
120
00:05:22,471 --> 00:05:24,054
Sorry.
121
00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:25,389
I'm a little distracted.
122
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,558
I can't seem
to get in touch with Amy.
123
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,426
I tried e-mail, video chat,
124
00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:30,927
tweeting her,
posting on
125
00:05:30,929 --> 00:05:33,397
her Facebook wall,
texting her, nothing.
126
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,365
Did you try calling her
on the telephone?
127
00:05:36,201 --> 00:05:38,285
The telephone.
128
00:05:41,606 --> 00:05:44,408
You know, Leonard,
in your own simple way,
129
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:47,110
you may be the wisest of us all.
130
00:05:47,929 --> 00:05:49,296
Voice mail.
131
00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:53,050
Curiouser and curiouser.
132
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,718
If you're worried,
we can go over there
133
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:55,952
and see if she's all right.
134
00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,120
Okay.
135
00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:58,589
You know, I heard
in the news
136
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:02,559
a bobcat has been spotted
in her neighborhood.
137
00:06:02,561 --> 00:06:05,429
I don't think
Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
138
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:08,315
Who thinks Amy was
eaten by a bobcat?
139
00:06:09,184 --> 00:06:10,767
You do?
140
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:14,771
Leonard, I was just mentioning
an interesting local news item.
141
00:06:14,773 --> 00:06:17,991
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried
Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
142
00:06:17,993 --> 00:06:20,077
Forget about the bobcat.
143
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,830
How can I?
You won't stop talking about it!
144
00:06:25,617 --> 00:06:30,587
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
145
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:32,989
♪ Sometimes ♪
146
00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:36,343
♪ Everybody cries ♪
147
00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:44,000
♪ Everybody hurts ♪
148
00:06:45,169 --> 00:06:47,170
Sometimes.
149
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:48,589
She sounds weepy.
150
00:06:48,591 --> 00:06:50,107
I don't like weepy. Let's go.
151
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,558
Uh...
152
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,860
She's your friend.
153
00:06:52,862 --> 00:06:54,228
Step up.
154
00:06:55,613 --> 00:06:58,181
Amy. Amy. Amy.
155
00:06:58,183 --> 00:06:59,700
Bye.
156
00:06:59,702 --> 00:07:00,817
Where are you going?
157
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:03,620
I'm single, I don't
need this crap.
158
00:07:05,856 --> 00:07:07,190
Sheldon, what are you
doing here?
159
00:07:07,192 --> 00:07:08,325
You didn't respond to
160
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:10,294
any of my electronic
communications.
161
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,079
I wanted to be alone.
162
00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:16,667
Would you like to talk about it?
163
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:21,805
And keep in mind that "no"
is a perfectly viable answer.
164
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:25,142
Sheldon, my world is
crumbling around me.
165
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,377
Point of order.
166
00:07:27,379 --> 00:07:30,380
As you're in distress,
it would be customary
167
00:07:30,382 --> 00:07:32,599
for me to offer you
a hot beverage.
168
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,652
But I'm a guest in your home,
169
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:39,156
so it would be customary for you
to offer me a beverage.
170
00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:44,077
How do you want to proceed
vis-à-vis beverages?
171
00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:45,245
It doesn't matter.
172
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:47,614
Nothing matters.
173
00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:52,920
If you'd like to take your mind
off what's troubling you,
174
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:57,291
uh, word on the street is
a bobcat has been spotted.
175
00:07:58,126 --> 00:08:00,076
Penny and Bernadette
went shopping
176
00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,911
for bridesmaids dresses
without me.
177
00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:07,584
And that made
you feel... sad?
178
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,186
Yes.
179
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,938
I knew it.
180
00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:12,889
Just keep going.
181
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:14,975
I guess I'm
good at this.
182
00:08:16,644 --> 00:08:18,979
It's just, I thought
they liked hanging out with me,
183
00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:21,365
but I guess I was
fooling myself.
184
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,117
When they were
over here,
185
00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:27,937
did you fail to offer
them a beverage?
186
00:08:29,207 --> 00:08:32,876
'Cause I can see how that
could stick in someone's craw.
187
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:36,046
Sheldon, I'm going
to ask you something,
188
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,131
and I'd like you
to keep an open mind.
189
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:39,499
Always.
190
00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:42,669
At this moment, I find myself
191
00:08:42,671 --> 00:08:44,888
craving human intimacy
and physical contact.
192
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,790
Oh, boy.
193
00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:54,064
You know ours is a
relationship of the mind.
194
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,466
Proposal.
195
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:58,485
One wild night
of torrid lovemaking
196
00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:01,021
that soothes my soul
and inflames my loins.
197
00:09:05,526 --> 00:09:08,328
Counterproposal.
198
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:11,648
I will gently
stroke your head
199
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:15,485
and repeat, "Aw,
who's a good Amy""
200
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:20,540
How about this?
201
00:09:20,542 --> 00:09:23,293
French kissing--
seven minutes in heaven
202
00:09:23,295 --> 00:09:26,263
culminating in second base.
203
00:09:29,584 --> 00:09:32,436
Neck massage...
204
00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:37,057
...then you get me
that beverage.
205
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,014
We cuddle. Final offer.
206
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,567
Very well.
207
00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:56,727
Oh, boy.
208
00:10:18,516 --> 00:10:22,169
I'm just saying,
second base is right there.
209
00:10:29,926 --> 00:10:31,823
Mm, I'm thinking
about adopting
210
00:10:31,824 --> 00:10:35,276
some quirky affectation,
like a pipe or a monocle
211
00:10:35,278 --> 00:10:37,995
or a handlebar mustache.
212
00:10:37,997 --> 00:10:40,815
For all those girls out there
213
00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:43,684
looking for
the Indian Monopoly man?
214
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:48,389
This is not a safe place.
215
00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:50,708
You can't share anything here.
216
00:10:52,511 --> 00:10:56,680
The two of you need to get
your women in line!
217
00:10:58,016 --> 00:10:59,300
What?
218
00:10:59,302 --> 00:11:01,101
Last night I was strong-armed
219
00:11:01,103 --> 00:11:03,253
into an evening
of harp music and spooning
220
00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,189
with an emotional
Amy Farrah Fowler.
221
00:11:05,191 --> 00:11:06,390
This on a night
222
00:11:06,392 --> 00:11:08,258
that I had originally
designated for solving
223
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:10,594
the space-time geometry
in higher-spin gravity
224
00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:13,113
and building my Lego Death Star.
225
00:11:14,366 --> 00:11:17,735
And why? Your gal pals,
Penny and Bernadette,
226
00:11:17,737 --> 00:11:20,037
went out shopping for some
wedding nonsense without Amy,
227
00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:22,373
an action they took
with no thought or regard
228
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:25,492
as to how it would affect me,
the future of string theory
229
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:28,045
or my Lego fun time!
230
00:11:29,331 --> 00:11:31,165
What do you want us
to do about it?
231
00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:33,500
You clearly weren't listening
to my topic sentence:
232
00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:35,419
Get your women in line!
233
00:11:36,504 --> 00:11:38,973
You make them apologize to Amy
and set things right.
234
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:41,959
I am a man of science,
not someone's snuggle bunny!
235
00:11:41,961 --> 00:11:44,628
Why do I have
to talk to Penny?
236
00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:45,980
She's not my girlfriend.
237
00:11:45,982 --> 00:11:47,731
You invited her to lunch
four years ago.
238
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:50,100
Everything about her is on you;
you make it so!
239
00:11:53,638 --> 00:11:55,439
- Moo-shu is Penny.
- Thank you.
240
00:11:55,441 --> 00:11:56,857
Where's Sheldon?
241
00:11:56,859 --> 00:11:58,242
He was up late last night,
242
00:11:58,244 --> 00:12:01,445
so I gave him an early dinner
and put him to bed.
243
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:02,947
That's so sweet.
244
00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:06,200
Yeah, but now he's gonna be
up at dawn and want to play.
245
00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:08,786
So, listen, guys,
246
00:12:08,788 --> 00:12:11,372
the reason he was up late
is because he was
247
00:12:11,374 --> 00:12:12,673
taking care of Amy.
248
00:12:12,675 --> 00:12:14,208
She's kind of upset.
249
00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:15,259
Why?
250
00:12:15,261 --> 00:12:16,927
Her feelings got hurt
because you guys
251
00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:18,345
went dress shopping without her.
252
00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:20,347
I told you that
would happen.
253
00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:22,633
Okay, look, this is her first
time being a bridesmaid
254
00:12:22,635 --> 00:12:25,002
and she's just getting
a little crazy with it.
255
00:12:25,004 --> 00:12:27,556
She keeps on telling us
stories about bridesmaid
256
00:12:27,568 --> 00:12:29,794
traditions in other cultures,
and they're all about
257
00:12:29,795 --> 00:12:32,513
getting naked and
washing each other.
258
00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:40,734
Yeah, and
she keeps trying
259
00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:42,987
to figure out if our
cycles have synced up
260
00:12:42,989 --> 00:12:46,573
so we can call ourselves
"The Three Menstra-Teers""
261
00:12:48,126 --> 00:12:51,545
We thought it would be easier to look
at dresses one time without her.
262
00:12:51,547 --> 00:12:53,163
I feel terrible.
263
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:54,332
I know. Me, too.
We'll talk to her.
264
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,582
Hey, wait,
265
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:56,884
how did she find out?
266
00:12:57,802 --> 00:13:00,254
Raj did it.
267
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:06,176
And he says he
would do it again.
268
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:09,229
Hey, I'm sorry.
269
00:13:09,231 --> 00:13:12,049
You sent me the picture;
I wasn't thinking.
270
00:13:12,051 --> 00:13:13,934
- Oh, Howie.
- Well, hey, I'm usually
271
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:15,385
pretty good at
not blabbing.
272
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:17,187
You tell me
tons of stuff
273
00:13:17,189 --> 00:13:19,907
about these guys,
and I never repeat it.
274
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,827
- What do you tell him?
- Oh,
275
00:13:23,829 --> 00:13:25,062
you know, just pillow talk.
276
00:13:25,064 --> 00:13:27,614
You guys have nothing
to worry about.
277
00:13:27,616 --> 00:13:29,416
Hold on, did you talk about us
when we were dating?
278
00:13:29,418 --> 00:13:32,686
No. All your little
secrets are fine.
279
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:39,510
Yes, absolutely fine.
280
00:13:41,463 --> 00:13:44,081
I'll tell you later.
281
00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:50,437
Come on, tumor.
282
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:54,858
Come on, tumor, Mama needs an
aggressive little glioblastoma.
283
00:13:56,111 --> 00:13:58,779
Yay, brain tumor!
284
00:13:58,781 --> 00:14:03,266
Probably not the same reaction
you had when you got the news.
285
00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:06,904
- Hi.
- Hello.
286
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:08,489
What are you doing here?
287
00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,491
Well, look, we just
wanted to apologize
288
00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:12,826
for not bringing you
with us the other day.
289
00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:15,412
That's not necessary--
it's like Sesame Street says:
290
00:14:15,414 --> 00:14:17,798
"One of these things
is not like the other,
291
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,301
one of these things
should die alone."
292
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:23,670
Come on, Amy, let us
make it up to you.
293
00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:24,922
We'll have a girl's night;
294
00:14:24,924 --> 00:14:26,507
we'll do whatever
you want.
295
00:14:26,509 --> 00:14:28,125
We can go down
to the Korean baths
296
00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:29,810
and do that thing
you were talking about
297
00:14:29,812 --> 00:14:31,979
where we wash each other.
298
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:35,799
With-with loofah mitts,
no hands.
299
00:14:37,018 --> 00:14:38,886
It's okay.
I'm glad this happened.
300
00:14:38,888 --> 00:14:41,605
I can stop pretending
that some beautiful girl
301
00:14:41,607 --> 00:14:43,323
and her cute-in-
the-right-light friend
302
00:14:43,325 --> 00:14:45,576
want to hang out with me.
303
00:14:45,578 --> 00:14:47,644
Amy, we're really sorry.
304
00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:49,312
Yeah, we
feel awful.
305
00:14:49,314 --> 00:14:51,498
Don't. I'll be okay.
You're not the first girls
306
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,201
I thought were friends with me
who ended up shunning me.
307
00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:56,420
It's like elementary school,
junior high,
308
00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:58,422
high school, undergrad,
grad school,
309
00:14:58,424 --> 00:15:01,375
and that semester abroad
in Norway all over again.
310
00:15:01,377 --> 00:15:02,926
Oh, come on, Amy.
311
00:15:03,762 --> 00:15:05,679
You don't get it.
312
00:15:05,681 --> 00:15:07,431
Look at this brain.
313
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:10,267
I don't really want to.
314
00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:12,469
This is us.
315
00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:14,471
Bernadette,
you are the analytical,
316
00:15:14,473 --> 00:15:16,173
scientific left hemisphere.
317
00:15:16,175 --> 00:15:19,359
Penny, you're the creative,
spontaneous right hemisphere.
318
00:15:19,361 --> 00:15:21,612
And where's Amy?
319
00:15:21,614 --> 00:15:24,181
She's right here--
the sad little tumor
320
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:26,784
no one wants to go
dress shopping with.
321
00:15:29,287 --> 00:15:30,988
Amy, you're not a tumor.
322
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:33,373
Penny, tell her
she's not a tumor.
323
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:46,703
Did you know that when
Alexander Graham Bell
324
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,567
invented the telephone,
325
00:15:48,592 --> 00:15:51,304
he proposed answering
it with "ahoy"?
326
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:55,062
Ahoy.
327
00:15:56,097 --> 00:15:58,816
I like it.
328
00:15:58,818 --> 00:16:01,351
Amy? Is that you?
329
00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:03,520
Have you been drinking?
330
00:16:04,305 --> 00:16:07,157
I'm sorry, I bet my sweet what?
331
00:16:08,193 --> 00:16:10,828
Well, all right.
We're on our way.
332
00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:12,529
What's going on?
333
00:16:12,531 --> 00:16:17,201
It would seem Amy is drunk
in a liquor store parking lot.
334
00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:18,669
Really? Amy?
335
00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:20,454
Leonard, be glad
you can't keep a woman.
336
00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:21,922
They are a handful.
337
00:16:28,963 --> 00:16:30,347
Oh, look.
338
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:32,082
It's Sheldon and little Leonard.
339
00:16:32,084 --> 00:16:34,518
Hi, little Leonard.
340
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,720
Hi, Amy.
341
00:16:36,722 --> 00:16:38,355
Hey, Cuddles.
342
00:16:38,357 --> 00:16:40,524
Cuddles?
343
00:16:40,526 --> 00:16:42,309
Yes, Cuddles.
We cuddled.
344
00:16:42,311 --> 00:16:43,727
Grow up, Leonard.
345
00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:48,315
- Amy, what are you doing here?
- Well,
346
00:16:48,317 --> 00:16:50,534
I came here to get
a bottle of wine
347
00:16:50,536 --> 00:16:53,436
like Penny taught me to do
when you're sad.
348
00:16:53,438 --> 00:16:57,120
Yeah, but why didn't you
go back to your apartment?
349
00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:58,459
Didn't you go
to high school, Leonard?
350
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,628
Parking lots are where
all the cool kids hang out.
351
00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:05,115
Not that the rat bastards
ever invited me.
352
00:17:05,117 --> 00:17:06,667
Maybe we should
get you home.
353
00:17:06,669 --> 00:17:08,618
Oh, hang on, hang on,
hang on. Sheldon,
354
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:12,339
what would it take for you
to go into that liquor store,
355
00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:13,924
buy a bottle of hooch,
356
00:17:13,926 --> 00:17:16,376
take me across the
street to that motel,
357
00:17:16,378 --> 00:17:19,479
and have your way with me?
358
00:17:21,182 --> 00:17:24,184
Yeah, Sheldon,
what would it take?
359
00:17:26,637 --> 00:17:29,740
I'm begging both of you,
please, let's go.
360
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:31,158
Okay.
361
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,642
Come on.
362
00:17:32,644 --> 00:17:34,361
- Upsy-daisy.
- Whee!
363
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:36,997
Ooh, finally someone
found second base.
364
00:17:41,836 --> 00:17:43,904
I know how you feel.
365
00:17:43,906 --> 00:17:48,208
I got a knife slicing
through my frontal lobe, too.
366
00:17:49,494 --> 00:17:51,211
Hi.
367
00:17:51,213 --> 00:17:52,495
What do you want?
368
00:17:52,497 --> 00:17:54,932
Do you want me to give
the friendship bracelet back?
369
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:58,101
I never gave you
a friendship bracelet.
370
00:17:58,103 --> 00:18:01,772
When we first met, I made one
and pretended you gave it to me.
371
00:18:01,774 --> 00:18:03,824
You can have it back
if you want.
372
00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:08,578
No, you made that for you;
I want you to have it.
373
00:18:09,847 --> 00:18:12,065
We know you're upset,
and you have every right to be,
374
00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:14,451
but if it's okay with you,
we'd like a second chance
375
00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:15,518
to make things right.
376
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,087
We are really sorry,
377
00:18:17,089 --> 00:18:19,740
and we were trying to think
of some way to show you
378
00:18:19,742 --> 00:18:21,208
how much we
care about you.
379
00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:22,242
Which is why
380
00:18:22,244 --> 00:18:24,211
it would mean so much
if you would agree
381
00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:26,246
to be the maid of honor
at my wedding.
382
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:29,716
What? Wait, is this some kind
of practical joke?
383
00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,885
Like in Norway,
when my "friends"
384
00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:35,088
trapped me in a sauna
with a horny otter?
385
00:18:37,976 --> 00:18:41,645
No. I-I want you to be
the maid of honor.
386
00:18:41,647 --> 00:18:43,263
Oh, my gosh.
387
00:18:43,265 --> 00:18:45,983
No one's every asked me to be
the maid of honor before.
388
00:18:45,985 --> 00:18:47,267
Well, that's not true.
389
00:18:47,269 --> 00:18:49,987
Once, but then they all died.
390
00:18:51,189 --> 00:18:53,573
So is that a yes?
391
00:18:53,575 --> 00:18:55,609
Yes. Yes.
392
00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:57,277
Oh, my gosh,
393
00:18:57,279 --> 00:18:58,612
I-I have so much to do.
394
00:18:58,614 --> 00:19:00,998
There's the bridal shower
and the bachelorette party.
395
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,783
What should we do for
the bachelorette party?
396
00:19:02,785 --> 00:19:05,902
Oh, I know-- we'll go to
a Native American sweat lodge,
397
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:07,587
we'll take peyote,
roll around in the mud,
398
00:19:07,589 --> 00:19:09,706
and paint fertility symbols
on Bernadette's naked body.
399
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:11,258
So that's happening.
400
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,377
Yeah, sure, sure.
401
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:15,962
Vegas is fun, too.
402
00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:17,014
I feel like crying.
403
00:19:17,016 --> 00:19:18,682
Of course, I could
just be hormonal.
404
00:19:18,684 --> 00:19:21,601
Oh, wait. Maybe our menses are
finally syncing up. Bernadette?
405
00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:23,270
No? Penny?
406
00:19:23,272 --> 00:19:24,888
- Sorry.
- Really?
407
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:25,856
Okay, yeah.
408
00:19:25,858 --> 00:19:27,107
Yay!
409
00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:37,911
Maid of honor
Amy Farrah Fowler's
410
00:19:37,913 --> 00:19:40,497
amazing behind-the-scenes
wedding video,
411
00:19:40,499 --> 00:19:42,182
take one.
412
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,285
We're just trying on dresses--
413
00:19:45,287 --> 00:19:47,487
do we really need
to record this?
414
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:50,290
I'm sorry, are you
the maid of honor?
415
00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:53,426
I am the bride.
416
00:19:53,428 --> 00:19:56,129
So no. And action.
417
00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:58,898
What do you think?
418
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,567
I love it!
419
00:20:00,569 --> 00:20:02,335
What are you, a nun?
420
00:20:02,337 --> 00:20:06,206
Come on, bestie,
let's see some skin.
421
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:08,608
Amy! Looking sexy!
422
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:10,894
You think they don't
have mirrors in there?
423
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:13,262
I know how I look.
424
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:19,652
Oh...!
425
00:20:19,654 --> 00:20:22,372
Bernadette, you
look beautiful!
426
00:20:22,374 --> 00:20:24,938
- You do.
- Thank you.
427
00:20:24,939 --> 00:20:27,080
Not Penny beautiful,
but beautiful.
428
00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:31,764
Come on, bestie,
you're up.
429
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,416
Give me a minute.
430
00:20:33,418 --> 00:20:36,252
What is taking
you so long?
431
00:20:36,254 --> 00:20:38,287
Oh, Amy!
Get the hell out of here!
432
00:20:38,289 --> 00:20:40,590
- Sorry, sorry.
- Oh, God.
433
00:20:40,592 --> 00:20:42,141
- Amy!
- Sorry.
434
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:46,166
== sync, corrected by elderman ==