1
00:00:05,304 --> 00:00:06,503
Gas!
2
00:00:10,275 --> 00:00:11,909
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:16,582 --> 00:00:18,349
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:22,186
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:22,254 --> 00:00:24,855
(tires screeching)
6
00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:26,224
D'oh!
7
00:00:26,558 --> 00:00:28,125
(tires screeching)
8
00:00:28,193 --> 00:00:29,193
(grunts)
9
00:00:29,260 --> 00:00:30,995
♪ ♪
10
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:40,671
(yells)
11
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:53,398
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
12
00:00:53,518 --> 00:00:55,653
Mm...!
13
00:00:57,855 --> 00:00:59,790
(whistling)
14
00:01:03,228 --> 00:01:04,895
(moaning eerily)
15
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,645
Hey! Huh?
16
00:01:37,247 --> 00:01:39,730
♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪
17
00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:41,398
(Bart slurps loudly)
18
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:42,500
(scary music plays)
19
00:01:45,079 --> 00:01:46,365
It's alive!
20
00:01:52,787 --> 00:01:54,654
It's alive!
21
00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:57,324
(screams)
22
00:01:57,392 --> 00:01:58,860
Friend?
23
00:02:00,562 --> 00:02:02,129
(screams)
24
00:02:02,131 --> 00:02:03,712
(laughing)
25
00:02:03,828 --> 00:02:05,096
Bart, you want to
see something cool?
26
00:02:05,163 --> 00:02:07,436
Oh, did you pick that
big scab off your knee?
27
00:02:07,556 --> 00:02:08,350
No.
28
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,246
Don't touch the scab!
29
00:02:10,366 --> 00:02:12,734
My science fair project proves
30
00:02:12,903 --> 00:02:16,863
that an asteroid will strike
the earth on July 15, 9789.
31
00:02:17,076 --> 00:02:18,209
Who cares?
32
00:02:18,277 --> 00:02:19,810
I'll be President
of Hell by then.
33
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,912
Fine. Good luck
with your project,
34
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:23,447
which I'm sure you
haven't started yet.
35
00:02:23,515 --> 00:02:24,948
I'll tell you my project.
36
00:02:25,016 --> 00:02:27,285
A fisteroid hitting
the planet Nerd!
37
00:02:27,352 --> 00:02:29,853
That's pathetic.
38
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:32,823
Aw, geez, I put
a lot of time in this.
39
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:34,625
Back to the drawing board.
40
00:02:35,227 --> 00:02:37,828
Hmm...
41
00:02:37,895 --> 00:02:38,829
MILHOUSE:
Hey, Bart!
44
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,468
I really need that shot.
45
00:02:44,536 --> 00:02:47,104
My dog and I accidentally
touched tongues.
46
00:02:47,106 --> 00:02:50,040
How is it "accidentally"
when this is the fifth time?
47
00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:53,577
Bart, isn't that
awfully similar
48
00:02:53,645 --> 00:02:56,147
to the cootie patch
you did last year?
49
00:02:56,214 --> 00:02:57,881
That was preventative.
50
00:02:57,949 --> 00:02:59,550
This is morning-after.
51
00:02:59,617 --> 00:03:02,419
Oh, you're right.
52
00:03:04,022 --> 00:03:05,756
Oh, what am I going to do?
53
00:03:05,823 --> 00:03:07,758
Good ideas don't grow on trees.
54
00:03:07,826 --> 00:03:09,627
Hmm.
55
00:03:09,629 --> 00:03:11,562
Or do they?
56
00:03:11,564 --> 00:03:13,531
(humming wistfully)
57
00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:18,435
(grunts) Good shot!
58
00:03:18,503 --> 00:03:21,572
Not really. I was trying to
bounce it off your left testie.
59
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,107
"Testis," my friend.
60
00:03:23,175 --> 00:03:24,442
(sighs)
61
00:03:24,509 --> 00:03:26,076
Look, I need help with
my science fair project.
62
00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:29,179
To sweeten the deal,
63
00:03:29,248 --> 00:03:31,282
I'll pick you first
for basketball.
64
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:33,684
Ah! To be a mathlete!
65
00:03:33,751 --> 00:03:35,086
Without the "M."
66
00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:38,289
(throbbing dance music plays)
67
00:03:38,356 --> 00:03:41,592
Fly, orb, and find thy hoop!
68
00:03:47,999 --> 00:03:49,900
I'm in!
69
00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:53,805
(panting)
70
00:03:53,872 --> 00:03:55,005
(bird caws)
71
00:03:55,007 --> 00:03:58,408
In the event of
a primary core breach,
72
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:01,111
you have 15 seconds
to avoid a complete...
73
00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,047
(yawns)
74
00:04:09,554 --> 00:04:11,188
(snoring)
75
00:04:12,591 --> 00:04:13,824
Howdy!
(sputters)
76
00:04:13,892 --> 00:04:15,592
A woman of stature!
77
00:04:15,661 --> 00:04:17,561
Roz Davis, your new assistant.
78
00:04:17,563 --> 00:04:18,696
Assistant?
79
00:04:18,763 --> 00:04:21,699
Well, I have been pretty
overworked lately.
80
00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:24,268
But I guess I should find out
a little bit about you.
81
00:04:24,335 --> 00:04:26,870
I'm just a gal from Ohio
who never wants to
82
00:04:26,938 --> 00:04:29,306
call her daddy again and say,
"I need to borrow money."
83
00:04:29,374 --> 00:04:30,641
So your dad has money to lend?
84
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:33,343
(bird caws)
85
00:04:33,411 --> 00:04:35,412
This is where we get our coffee.
86
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,881
Just leave a little
at the bottom,
87
00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:39,216
so someone else has to
make the next pot.
88
00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:41,118
The burning smell
will let them know.
89
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,486
Genius.
90
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:44,288
Uh-oh.
It's old man Burns.
91
00:04:44,355 --> 00:04:46,857
Hello, young man Burns!
92
00:04:46,925 --> 00:04:49,327
Oh, Simpson, you do know
how to whip my buggy.
93
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,430
(chuckles)
94
00:04:53,498 --> 00:04:55,732
That sucker soaks up flattery
95
00:04:55,868 --> 00:04:58,236
like a Twinkie soaks up gravy.
96
00:04:58,238 --> 00:05:01,438
Well, when it's a handsome
guy like you talking...
97
00:05:01,506 --> 00:05:03,274
(laughing):
Well...
98
00:05:03,276 --> 00:05:05,542
Your giggle's like
strawberry wine.
99
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:06,610
Oh!
100
00:05:06,612 --> 00:05:09,046
(giggles, snorts)
101
00:05:09,114 --> 00:05:10,915
And your snort's
like a summer breeze.
102
00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:11,615
(laughing)
103
00:05:11,717 --> 00:05:13,818
(choking, coughing)
104
00:05:17,823 --> 00:05:19,924
That's not very
attractive, though.
105
00:05:19,991 --> 00:05:21,759
You okay?
I'm fine.
106
00:05:26,898 --> 00:05:30,034
Bart, I fail to see
the scientific function
107
00:05:30,268 --> 00:05:33,137
of this "Homer Humiliator"
you've devised.
108
00:05:33,205 --> 00:05:36,840
Well, we gotta
come up with something.
109
00:05:36,842 --> 00:05:39,509
Hey, what if we make
some kind of robopet?
110
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:41,212
What made you think of that?
111
00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:45,516
(panting)
112
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:46,483
(shrieks)
113
00:05:46,551 --> 00:05:48,519
Thy will be done, Lord Vader.
114
00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:50,487
Just don't hurt me.
Oh, please!
115
00:05:50,555 --> 00:05:51,956
A robopet!
116
00:05:52,024 --> 00:05:53,490
Not a bad idea.
117
00:05:53,558 --> 00:05:54,959
Bully, Bart! Bully!
118
00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:55,993
Where?
Is it Nelson?
119
00:05:56,061 --> 00:05:58,662
No, Bart, it's just
an expression.
120
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:01,131
Who hath summoned me?
121
00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:02,632
(shuddering)
122
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:03,900
♪ Everybody ♪
123
00:06:03,968 --> 00:06:06,137
♪ It's a future shock ♪
124
00:06:06,204 --> 00:06:08,805
♪ Future shock ♪
125
00:06:08,873 --> 00:06:09,906
♪ Future shock... ♪
126
00:06:09,974 --> 00:06:12,142
Baby seal, huh?
Research shows
127
00:06:12,144 --> 00:06:14,778
it's impossible to
gaze at a baby seal
128
00:06:14,846 --> 00:06:15,913
and say anything but...
129
00:06:15,981 --> 00:06:16,981
Aw...
130
00:06:17,048 --> 00:06:18,849
Precisely.
131
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:22,086
And at science fairs,
the "aw"s get the "A"s.
132
00:06:23,421 --> 00:06:25,288
Ah!
Heavens to Asimov!
133
00:06:25,356 --> 00:06:26,623
Hmm.
(grunting)
134
00:06:26,691 --> 00:06:28,993
Must make sure these
wires aren't crossed.
135
00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,997
Aw...
136
00:06:36,935 --> 00:06:39,069
(shrieks) Marge!
137
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,871
Get my seal club!
The big one!
138
00:06:40,939 --> 00:06:42,306
They're all pretty big.
139
00:06:47,745 --> 00:06:49,747
(grunts)
140
00:06:58,522 --> 00:07:00,624
I'm an experiment.
141
00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:04,228
(beeping faster and faster)
142
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:07,031
Fine.
143
00:07:07,098 --> 00:07:09,833
(beeping)
144
00:07:09,835 --> 00:07:11,868
(sighs)
145
00:07:12,004 --> 00:07:13,270
BART:
Check it out!
146
00:07:13,338 --> 00:07:14,738
ALL:
Aw...
147
00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:17,274
So the soft fur, big eyes,
and gentle motion
148
00:07:17,342 --> 00:07:19,276
are designed to make
it one hell of a pet,
149
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,045
with none of the poop.
150
00:07:21,113 --> 00:07:23,680
This is the most adorable
thing I've ever seen
151
00:07:23,748 --> 00:07:25,249
in my entire life.
152
00:07:30,522 --> 00:07:31,688
(clears throat)
153
00:07:31,756 --> 00:07:33,157
What a wonderful science fair.
154
00:07:33,224 --> 00:07:35,259
Unfortunately,
due to budget cuts,
155
00:07:35,327 --> 00:07:37,194
we could not afford
our third place ribbon.
156
00:07:37,262 --> 00:07:40,797
No in second place,
Lisa Simpson's grim description
157
00:07:40,865 --> 00:07:42,866
of our short-sighted dependence
on fossil fuels.
158
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:45,002
It's about an asteroid.
159
00:07:45,070 --> 00:07:46,971
They're all the same,
Gloomhilda.
160
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:50,140
First place goes to Bart Simpson
and Martin Prince...
161
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,209
Yeah!
(kissing)
162
00:07:52,277 --> 00:07:54,878
...for creating a furry
robotic friend
163
00:07:54,946 --> 00:07:56,680
who provides comfort
when humans fail to.
164
00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:58,315
Which they will, trust me.
165
00:07:58,383 --> 00:08:01,585
I carried you in my belly
for four and a half months.
166
00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:03,220
When you fell out on the bus,
167
00:08:03,288 --> 00:08:04,955
that's when my job ended.
168
00:08:06,691 --> 00:08:09,226
(Ping-Pong ball bouncing)
169
00:08:09,294 --> 00:08:12,096
Congratulations on
getting a ribbon, Lisa!
170
00:08:12,163 --> 00:08:15,266
You must've baked
a mighty fine pie.
171
00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:17,001
It wasn't a pie.
172
00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:18,369
It was science!
173
00:08:18,371 --> 00:08:19,736
And it's not fair.
174
00:08:19,804 --> 00:08:21,571
My project was way
better than Bart's,
175
00:08:21,639 --> 00:08:23,807
and I didn't have
help from a nerd!
176
00:08:23,874 --> 00:08:24,841
I'm my own nerd!
177
00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:26,676
Oh, sweetie.
178
00:08:26,744 --> 00:08:28,912
Being second ain't the worst
thing that can happen.
179
00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:31,048
Look at poor old
Jasper over there.
180
00:08:31,116 --> 00:08:34,051
(raspy sigh)
181
00:08:34,119 --> 00:08:35,319
(sighs)
182
00:08:35,321 --> 00:08:38,355
He lost his wife,
his kids don't call.
183
00:08:38,423 --> 00:08:40,724
Soon he'll just be
bones and beard.
184
00:08:41,093 --> 00:08:42,926
(muttering)
185
00:08:46,731 --> 00:08:48,599
(electronic barking)
186
00:08:50,435 --> 00:08:51,868
(barking)
187
00:08:55,039 --> 00:08:56,941
(laughs)
188
00:08:57,142 --> 00:08:58,942
(waltz music plays)
189
00:09:06,451 --> 00:09:07,884
Wow.
190
00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:10,154
While I was sitting here
feeling sorry for myself,
191
00:09:10,221 --> 00:09:13,958
Bart's invention actually
changed someone's life.
192
00:09:14,025 --> 00:09:17,828
And best of all, I got funding
for my Homer Humiliator.
193
00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:19,363
Hmm!
194
00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:21,698
Ooh! Ow!
195
00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:24,435
Why would a Homer
Humiliator do this to me?
196
00:09:24,503 --> 00:09:25,637
(grunts)
197
00:09:38,814 --> 00:09:39,747
(ringing)
198
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:42,316
Yello.
199
00:09:42,318 --> 00:09:43,184
Hey, Barney.
200
00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:44,986
A free movie screening?
201
00:09:44,988 --> 00:09:46,654
Of course I can go!
202
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,023
I just need somebody
to hold down the fort.
203
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,558
Hmm...
204
00:09:50,626 --> 00:09:52,159
Hm! Oh, uh, Roz?
205
00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:54,729
I have to step out for
one hour and 43 minutes.
206
00:09:54,797 --> 00:09:55,830
Could you cover for me?
207
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:57,431
Go ahead.
(whoops)
208
00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,134
Oh, uh... if an
emergency alarm goes off,
209
00:10:00,201 --> 00:10:02,703
there's earplugs
in the top drawer.
210
00:10:09,311 --> 00:10:10,144
(grunting)
211
00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:18,752
Mm-mm.
212
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:20,354
(groans)
213
00:10:20,422 --> 00:10:22,189
(laughing loudly)
214
00:10:22,257 --> 00:10:24,258
Life imitates Flart.
215
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:25,693
It says that on the poster.
216
00:10:25,761 --> 00:10:27,228
I thought of it first.
217
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:31,265
Marge, I just saw
the greatest movie!
218
00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:35,035
Guess what happens when a mop
is replaced with an octopus.
219
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:36,538
I'll give you a clue.
220
00:10:36,605 --> 00:10:37,739
It's funny!
221
00:10:37,773 --> 00:10:39,974
Take off the 3-D glasses.
222
00:10:41,744 --> 00:10:42,710
(screams)
223
00:10:42,778 --> 00:10:45,079
Simpson-- a gangly
little bird told me
224
00:10:45,147 --> 00:10:46,781
you've been lollygagging
at the Biograph.
225
00:10:46,783 --> 00:10:48,382
(stammering)
226
00:10:48,384 --> 00:10:49,517
Someone snitched?
227
00:10:49,585 --> 00:10:51,085
W-W-What are you
going to do to me?
228
00:10:51,153 --> 00:10:52,453
You're demoted.
229
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,888
Up, or down?
230
00:10:53,890 --> 00:10:55,656
Down!
(shrieks)
231
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,826
Don't tell my wife.
232
00:10:58,894 --> 00:11:00,728
(children laughing)
233
00:11:01,997 --> 00:11:04,599
So, partner,
what's next on the agenda?
234
00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:06,333
Oh, um...
235
00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:07,869
Back off, man!
236
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:09,904
Can't you see
you're embarrassing Bart?
237
00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:12,106
When did you take that picture?
238
00:11:12,174 --> 00:11:13,374
(chuckles)
239
00:11:13,441 --> 00:11:15,610
Last time you slept
over at my house.
240
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:18,246
I love when you're sleeping
and at peace.
241
00:11:18,314 --> 00:11:20,381
(groans)
242
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:23,217
Hey, Skippy, we need some more
of them loveable critters
243
00:11:23,285 --> 00:11:24,652
for our friends at the home.
244
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:26,821
(chuckles):
Unless you got any heroin.
245
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:27,922
You got any heroin?
246
00:11:29,191 --> 00:11:30,158
Hmm?
247
00:11:31,626 --> 00:11:33,327
Well, then, critters it is.
248
00:11:35,898 --> 00:11:39,133
I'm telling you guys,
Roz told oldan Burns
249
00:11:39,201 --> 00:11:41,568
I ditched work early,
and now I'm her assistant.
250
00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:43,271
I don't know, Homer.
251
00:11:43,339 --> 00:11:46,240
You're saying she's nice on the
outside, but mean on the inside?
252
00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,608
No one could pull that off.
253
00:11:47,676 --> 00:11:48,777
Enjoy.
254
00:11:48,844 --> 00:11:50,211
And as for you, Homer,
don't worry.
255
00:11:50,345 --> 00:11:54,082
You're at Moe's tavern--
lady-free since '83.
256
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:56,651
What the...?
This is a gentleman's club!
257
00:11:56,719 --> 00:11:57,751
Yeah!
258
00:11:57,819 --> 00:11:58,819
(belches)
259
00:11:58,887 --> 00:12:00,788
So, what you boys drinkin'?
260
00:12:00,856 --> 00:12:02,123
I'm buyin'.
261
00:12:02,191 --> 00:12:04,192
Can we just have
the cash value of the drink?
262
00:12:04,259 --> 00:12:05,092
Be my guest.
263
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,694
I'd rather use my money
264
00:12:06,761 --> 00:12:08,163
to buy a Moe
souvenir T-shirt.
265
00:12:09,665 --> 00:12:11,198
That comes in kid sizes, too.
266
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:13,635
HOMER:
Oh, no, this is terrible.
267
00:12:13,702 --> 00:12:15,503
What am I gonna do? Oh...
268
00:12:15,571 --> 00:12:17,104
Aren't you gonna
come to bed, Homie?
269
00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:18,372
Can't, Marge.
270
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,407
I'm fighting for my
professional life here.
271
00:12:20,476 --> 00:12:21,976
Do you know what
I just learned?
272
00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:25,646
My job is the reason
I get the checks every week.
273
00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:29,551
And now that I'm demoted,
the checks have gotten smaller.
274
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,652
Not in physical size, but...
275
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,454
I know. I know.
276
00:12:33,456 --> 00:12:36,357
♪ ♪
277
00:12:55,444 --> 00:12:57,745
I represent the Eternal Valley
funeral home,
278
00:12:57,747 --> 00:13:01,015
and I'm here to talk about
an extremely unpleasant subject:
279
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:02,917
people continuing to live.
280
00:13:02,985 --> 00:13:05,419
If we don't have a frickin'
funeral soon, people,
281
00:13:05,487 --> 00:13:07,354
you can say good-bye
to Howard's Flowers!
282
00:13:07,422 --> 00:13:09,323
Calm down, Howard Jr.
283
00:13:09,391 --> 00:13:11,893
Now, here is the zip,
the zap and the zing.
284
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,229
We're gonna rewire
Charlie Loveable here
285
00:13:14,296 --> 00:13:16,530
into the greatest threat
to seniors' lives
286
00:13:16,598 --> 00:13:18,199
since nursing homes themselves.
287
00:13:20,202 --> 00:13:22,103
Switcheroo.
288
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:24,806
(snarling)
289
00:13:31,113 --> 00:13:32,566
Impressive.
290
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,603
Hard to believe two
ten-year-old kids built this.
291
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:37,557
And I heard one of them
did all the work.
292
00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:38,558
Wow.
It's true.
293
00:13:45,952 --> 00:13:46,619
(panting)
294
00:13:46,854 --> 00:13:47,551
Am I early?
295
00:13:47,671 --> 00:13:49,042
You're late.
296
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:51,460
Since I got demoted,
I have to show my I.D.,
297
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,924
but the picture
was taken so long ago,
298
00:13:52,942 --> 00:13:54,343
I put on a lot of weight,
299
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,378
so I have to stretch out
my face and say,
300
00:13:56,446 --> 00:13:58,380
"I used to look like this."
301
00:13:58,448 --> 00:13:59,648
Late.
302
00:14:01,317 --> 00:14:03,185
You're mean.
303
00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:04,986
Now, I want a list
of a hundred ways
304
00:14:04,988 --> 00:14:07,822
to make your job worse by
close of business today.
305
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,224
- Can one of the hundred
be making the list? - No.
306
00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:12,193
Can some of them be callbacks
to earlier ones?
307
00:14:12,261 --> 00:14:13,328
Also, no.
308
00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:14,262
(groans):
Oh!
309
00:14:15,598 --> 00:14:18,667
We're live at the
Springfield Retirement Castle,
310
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,335
where long-time resident,
Alice Glick, died last night,
311
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:23,838
at the paws of this
cuddly little killer.
312
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,007
Our Channel Six
substitute medical expert
313
00:14:26,009 --> 00:14:28,243
Dr. Nick Riviera
had this to say.
314
00:14:28,311 --> 00:14:30,678
The champion
was cleared to fight.
315
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,648
Ahem, Doctor, this
press conference
316
00:14:32,715 --> 00:14:34,015
is about a nursing home death.
317
00:14:34,017 --> 00:14:35,417
The Springfield police
are in the process
318
00:14:35,485 --> 00:14:37,085
of taking all the robots
(screaming)
319
00:14:37,153 --> 00:14:39,320
into custody,
safely returning the seniors
320
00:14:39,388 --> 00:14:41,256
to their hopeless, dismal lives.
(gunfire)
321
00:14:41,657 --> 00:14:43,692
Shut that thing off.
322
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,059
(machine stops)
323
00:14:45,061 --> 00:14:46,261
I meant the TV!
324
00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:47,328
Sorry.
325
00:14:47,396 --> 00:14:49,063
(machine whirrs)
326
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:50,732
(doorbell rings)
327
00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:52,467
Hi. We need someone
328
00:14:52,535 --> 00:14:54,469
to reprogram our robots
to break out of jail.
329
00:14:54,471 --> 00:14:55,370
(stutters excitedly)
330
00:14:55,671 --> 00:14:57,405
A chance to reprogram robots?
331
00:14:57,473 --> 00:14:59,775
Well, I had a date
with a beauty queen tonight,
332
00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:01,643
but forget it.
333
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,246
(keypad beeping)
334
00:15:04,313 --> 00:15:06,748
Uh, hello, yes, hello,
Miss Wyoming?
335
00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:09,484
I-I'll have to climb
your Grand Tetons another night.
336
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:10,719
(laughs)
337
00:15:10,787 --> 00:15:12,020
The breast joke!
338
00:15:12,087 --> 00:15:13,488
I-I served it up.
339
00:15:13,555 --> 00:15:16,024
Why won't he love me?!
340
00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:17,926
(sobbing)
341
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:27,374
"Do this, do that."
Lousy Roz thinks she's so big.
342
00:15:27,397 --> 00:15:29,519
Well, looks like
it's time for another
343
00:15:29,557 --> 00:15:31,584
"End of the Walk Talk
With Homer and Ned."
344
00:15:31,704 --> 00:15:34,203
Tonight's topic:
the niceness of the evening.
345
00:15:34,271 --> 00:15:34,904
Hey.
346
00:15:35,072 --> 00:15:36,706
Homer, all nonsense aside,
347
00:15:36,774 --> 00:15:38,507
are you okalidokalaroony?
348
00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:39,776
(sighs)
349
00:15:39,844 --> 00:15:42,278
I'm having problems
with my new boss Roz.
350
00:15:42,346 --> 00:15:45,381
She's the most evil person to
come out of Ohio since LeBron.
351
00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:47,383
But at least he thought
long and hard
352
00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:50,486
before screwing everybody over,
in public, for no reason.
353
00:15:50,554 --> 00:15:52,488
You know, I knew
a backstabbing Buckeye
354
00:15:52,556 --> 00:15:54,023
named Roz at Bible camp.
355
00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,758
Twice as tall
as she should've been.
356
00:15:55,826 --> 00:15:57,293
(gasps) Is this her?
357
00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:58,495
Come on!
358
00:15:58,729 --> 00:16:01,097
The apple must be wreaking
havoc with the Twinkie!
359
00:16:01,165 --> 00:16:02,631
(gasps) It is.
360
00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:04,400
But if you've got the stones,
361
00:16:04,468 --> 00:16:06,535
I can tell you
how to slay that "Gal-ioth."
362
00:16:06,603 --> 00:16:10,206
Are you aware that "stones"
means man junk?
363
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,675
What the-- I've been
using that around the boys.
364
00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:14,110
(groans weakly)
365
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:17,546
Whew! Thank you.
366
00:16:17,614 --> 00:16:20,116
Now, it was one of
our biggest celebrations,
367
00:16:20,184 --> 00:16:22,952
the 19th Sunday after Easter.
368
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,420
We'd just had a rousing
no-fun run,
369
00:16:24,488 --> 00:16:26,622
and in the heat of the moment,
I wanted to offer
370
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:27,991
my respectful best wishes.
371
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:29,558
Peace be with you.
372
00:16:29,626 --> 00:16:32,561
Well, sir, she went crazy.
373
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:34,798
Crazier than
sleeping in on a Sunday.
374
00:16:34,865 --> 00:16:36,532
I can't stand to be touched!
375
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,601
Never tell anyone!
376
00:16:38,603 --> 00:16:39,869
And I haven't.
377
00:16:39,937 --> 00:16:41,070
Not until now.
378
00:16:41,138 --> 00:16:43,072
That's it! That's it!
379
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:45,074
My nightmare is over!
380
00:16:45,142 --> 00:16:48,277
Oh, Flanders, you are
my personal savior.
381
00:16:48,345 --> 00:16:50,013
Oh, that's nice,
but I don't approve of...
382
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,580
Hail Flanders!
383
00:16:51,648 --> 00:16:53,182
Mightier than Jesus!
384
00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:54,884
(groans)
385
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:59,889
Yes, I, uh, I hereby call
to order this meeting
386
00:16:59,957 --> 00:17:03,059
of the North American
Man-Bot Love Association.
387
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,894
I'll say this one more time:
388
00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:06,595
we really should
change that name.
389
00:17:06,597 --> 00:17:08,664
Yes, all right, I'll change it
to whatever you like,
390
00:17:08,732 --> 00:17:11,567
as long as "Man-Bot Love"
is in there somewhere.
391
00:17:11,635 --> 00:17:13,970
Now, let's look at
these blueprints, shall we?
392
00:17:14,371 --> 00:17:16,438
(excited murmuring)
393
00:17:18,408 --> 00:17:20,176
Wish I'd thought of that.
394
00:17:20,178 --> 00:17:22,879
Uh, first,
we remotely adjust them
395
00:17:22,946 --> 00:17:24,881
so they will never be
malicious again.
396
00:17:24,948 --> 00:17:26,683
There, there and there.
397
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,451
Now, arise, little ones!
398
00:17:30,086 --> 00:17:32,121
(snores, mutters)
399
00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:33,989
Hey-Hey, what's going on here?
400
00:17:34,057 --> 00:17:36,859
I better call 911.
401
00:17:36,926 --> 00:17:38,227
(busy signal beeping)
402
00:17:38,295 --> 00:17:40,729
Oh, it's always busy
when I call.
403
00:17:40,797 --> 00:17:41,664
(sighs)
404
00:17:41,732 --> 00:17:44,500
What a bunch of idiots.
405
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:49,939
Hey-- Aw, I can't
stay mad at you.
406
00:17:50,073 --> 00:17:53,209
Go on, get out of here.
407
00:17:53,276 --> 00:17:56,812
Oh, oh, Chief?
Yeah?
408
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,749
Yeah, you, too.
409
00:17:59,816 --> 00:18:00,850
(chuckles)
410
00:18:00,852 --> 00:18:03,152
Although this millennium
is still young,
411
00:18:03,219 --> 00:18:04,687
I feel it is time to award
412
00:18:04,755 --> 00:18:07,423
this giant trophy, paid for
with your health care cuts...
413
00:18:07,491 --> 00:18:08,691
(crowd groans)
414
00:18:08,759 --> 00:18:10,693
...to our beloved Roz.
415
00:18:10,928 --> 00:18:12,895
(one person clapping slowly)
416
00:18:12,963 --> 00:18:14,063
What the deuce?
417
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,531
Sarcastic clapping?
418
00:18:15,599 --> 00:18:19,335
Congratulations, Roz.
419
00:18:19,337 --> 00:18:21,336
What are you doing here,
Simpson?
420
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,706
If there isn't dry cleaning
in the back of my car,
421
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:26,175
there's gonna be
blood on my knuckles.
422
00:18:26,242 --> 00:18:29,278
Uh, I just came to say
that you're perfect.
423
00:18:29,345 --> 00:18:33,182
So perfect, I think
Mr. Burns should give you a hug.
424
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,250
(gasps)
425
00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:36,085
Who told you?
426
00:18:36,152 --> 00:18:38,554
I won't say,
but his initials are S.F.
427
00:18:38,622 --> 00:18:40,189
Stupid Flanders!
428
00:18:40,257 --> 00:18:42,191
(chanting):
Hug, hug, hug!
429
00:18:42,258 --> 00:18:43,893
EMPLOYEES (chanting):
Hug, hug, hug,
430
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,663
hug, hug, hug, hug...!
431
00:18:47,731 --> 00:18:49,331
(roaring)
432
00:18:49,399 --> 00:18:50,499
(bones cracking)
433
00:18:52,536 --> 00:18:55,370
You're fired.
434
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,473
I underestimated you.
435
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,074
I don't know what that
middle word means.
436
00:18:59,076 --> 00:19:01,344
Well, it means my perception
of you is that you were
437
00:19:01,412 --> 00:19:03,946
kind of a goof, but now I see
you're rather clever.
438
00:19:03,948 --> 00:19:04,981
What is perception?
439
00:19:05,048 --> 00:19:06,182
It's how I view you.
440
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,750
You understand that?
No.
441
00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:09,285
I used to think
you were an idiot.
442
00:19:09,353 --> 00:19:10,987
Now it turns out,
you're not such an idiot,
443
00:19:11,055 --> 00:19:13,689
in fact, you might
even be smart.
444
00:19:13,756 --> 00:19:14,958
Little help?
445
00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:18,394
(both grunting)
446
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,104
(muffled grunting)
447
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:29,872
Rub the butter around you.
448
00:19:29,874 --> 00:19:30,907
(gulps)
449
00:19:30,974 --> 00:19:32,008
Need more butter!
450
00:19:32,076 --> 00:19:33,576
And not the unsalted.
451
00:19:33,643 --> 00:19:35,677
Do you want to get
out of there or not?
452
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:43,352
Mr. J., if I don't
get my green card,
453
00:19:43,419 --> 00:19:46,456
they're gonna turn me
back into a washing machine.
454
00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:48,424
No dawdling.
Just move it along.
455
00:19:54,765 --> 00:19:55,331
(sighs)
456
00:19:57,201 --> 00:19:58,768
Oy, oy!
457
00:19:58,835 --> 00:20:00,369
My mechanical mensch!
458
00:20:00,437 --> 00:20:01,737
How I missed you.
459
00:20:01,805 --> 00:20:02,838
(grunts)
460
00:20:02,906 --> 00:20:05,541
Bless you, boys.
461
00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:09,478
Now that we got 'em back,
we'll never let 'em go again.
462
00:20:09,546 --> 00:20:11,230
'Cause there's
no stronger force
463
00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:14,523
than a senior citizen
holding onto a freebie.
464
00:20:15,018 --> 00:20:16,819
("Golden Years"
by David Bowie playing)
465
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:19,955
♪ Golden years ♪
466
00:20:20,023 --> 00:20:21,891
♪ Gold... ♪
467
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:24,026
(snarling)
468
00:20:24,094 --> 00:20:25,661
♪ Golden years... ♪
469
00:20:25,696 --> 00:20:35,736
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com