1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,506 - Hey. - Oh, hey. You work the lunch shift? 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,426 Yeah. Got 8 pounds of salmon that's about to go bad. 3 00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,678 - Do you know how to cook it? - Not really. 4 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,557 Damn it. Should've liberated the iffy chicken. 5 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:20,769 So, what are you and Professor Fussyface up to tonight? 6 00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:23,397 Star Wars on Blu-ray. 7 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,733 Haven't you seen that movie a thousand times? 8 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,568 Not on Blu-ray. 9 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,279 Only twice on Blu-ray. 10 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,197 Oh, Leonard. Ugh. 11 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,535 I know. It's high-resolution sadness. 12 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,288 Well, I was gonna take myself out to a movie tonight. 13 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,581 You wanna go? 14 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,208 - Really? Do we do that? - What do you mean? 15 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,795 You know, we haven't spent time alone together since we broke up. 16 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,965 It's not a date, Leonard. It's a man and a woman hanging out... 17 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,843 ...not having sex at the end of the night. 18 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,929 Sounds like most of my dates. 19 00:00:57,807 --> 00:01:01,060 Oh, dear Lord. Get away from me, you monster. 20 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,312 What is that about? 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,232 He's smart and crazy enough. He may have actually created a monster. 22 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,234 Shoo, shoo. 23 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:10,569 Be gone. 24 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,029 What the hell is going on? 25 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,032 There's a bird outside the window and he won't go away. 26 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,326 That is the hell that is going on. 27 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:21,246 We have no worms or seeds here. Shoo, shoo. 28 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,334 Really? On top of everything else, you're afraid of birds? 29 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:29,880 It's called ornithophobia, and someday it will be recognized as a true disability... 30 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:34,635 ...and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. 31 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,180 Which is unfortunate, because I have a fear of nets. 32 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,766 So movies, yes or no? 33 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,518 - Oh, movies, yes. - Mm. 34 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:45,854 Great. I'll see you later. And remember, he's more afraid of you... 35 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,773 - ...than you are of him. - That doesn't help. 36 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,024 Oh. 37 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,568 I was talking to the bird. 38 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:58,242 Go away, bird. Go away, bird. Go away, bird. 39 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,869 Sheldon, just ignore him. 40 00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:04,581 Good idea. Attention is what birds want. 41 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,000 Oh. 42 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,128 Much better. All right. 43 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,421 Now I'll just get along with my life. 44 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,261 Make a pot of tea, Leonard, it's gonna be a long night. 45 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,098 Bird still there? 46 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,894 - Quick, what does a hawk sound like? - I don't know, uh... 47 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:10,230 Scree, scree. 48 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:13,817 Please, that's a seagull. If you're not going to help, don't help. 49 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,653 Sorry. Hey, do you think I'm over-dressed? 50 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,532 Uh, it depends on the activity. For a prostate exam, yes. 51 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,204 If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins. 52 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,414 I'm going to the movies with Penny. 53 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,416 I don't want her to think I think it's a date. 54 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,959 - Do you think it's a date? - No. 55 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,545 But she might think I think it's a date, even though I don't. 56 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,006 Or you think she thinks you think it's a date. 57 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:39,092 - Are we over-thinking this? - Not at all. 58 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:44,848 - You're right. I'm fine. I'm wearing this. - Really? A blazer? All right. 59 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,649 Yes, hello. Uh, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 60 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:56,693 I'm at 2311 North Los Robles Avenue. 61 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,571 I'd like to report a dangerous wild animal. 62 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,365 A blue jay. 63 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:07,371 I'm sorry, this is Animal Control. I don't understand the laughter. 64 00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,289 No, the bird is not in my home. 65 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,335 If he was in my home, I obviously would've called 911. 66 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,672 I have no doubt that there are things that you're frightened of. 67 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,841 Uh, being stuck in a dead-end public service job. 68 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,677 Or your wife stepping out on you... 69 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,638 ...because you're stuck in a dead-end public service job. 70 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,932 Or spiders. 71 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,644 Don't you think I tried making cat noises? 72 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,442 Too casual? 73 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,237 For an audience with the Queen, yes. 74 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,490 For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a trash can... 75 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,367 ...you look great. 76 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,593 What am I thinking? Whiskers. 77 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,434 Oh, hey, if we hurry we can make the Jennifer Aniston movie. 78 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,685 Oh, yeah, sure. 79 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,770 Yeah, uh, there's also an amazing documentary... 80 00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:17,107 ...about building a dam on a river in South America. 81 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,278 Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston. 82 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,947 And she's not building a dam. 83 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:28,493 - Can't argue with that. I'll get the tickets. - Okay. 84 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,497 Actually, you know what? 85 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,167 I think it's about time I pick a movie we see. 86 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,502 Wha...? You picked plenty of movies. 87 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,340 No, you always picked and it was always the same. 88 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,300 An hour and a half of beach houses... 89 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,971 ...until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along. 90 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,975 Come on, that is a great movie. And it starts in ten minutes. 91 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,895 But I hate those movies. 92 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,355 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 93 00:05:56,522 --> 00:06:00,609 The only reason I went is because you wanted to see them and I wanted sex. 94 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,029 To this day I can't see a Sandra Bullock poster... 95 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,115 ...without getting both bored and aroused. 96 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,535 So while we were going out, how often would you pretend... 97 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,662 ...to like things just to have sex with me? 98 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,831 All the time. 99 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,876 You're kidding. 100 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,378 Does this sound familiar? 101 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,130 "I'd love to go shoe shopping with you." 102 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,384 "Hiking, it's great." 103 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,011 "it's 2 a.m., of course, I wanna go to Koreatown... 104 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:31,390 ...and sing karaoke with your friends. Who wouldn't?" 105 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,768 Okay. We were going out. You were gonna get sex anyway. 106 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:39,815 Really? You would've slept with me after a three hour documentary on dams? 107 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,485 No. No woman would. 108 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,072 See, now, that's the great thing. We're out as friends. 109 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,241 This is not a date. Sex is off the table. 110 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,743 So let's go learn why hydroelectric power... 111 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:55,330 ...might not be the environmental bargain you think it is. 112 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,584 Sorry, spoiler alert. 113 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:04,131 - Ugh. All right. Fine. - Thanks. 114 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,174 Uh, tickets are 11 bucks. 115 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,097 Not a date. 116 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,894 Come on, Sheldon. Star Wars. 117 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,855 I'm pushing play. I mean it. 118 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,525 Yeah, if we don't start soon, George Lucas is gonna change it again. 119 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,656 This would go a lot faster if you put your diploma to work... 120 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,742 ...and help me set up this high-frequency tone generator. 121 00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:36,037 I have a master's degree from MIT. 122 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,791 Yeah, but you've got a can-do attitude, and that's what's important. 123 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,587 I really don't get your problem with birds. 124 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:48,175 The question you should be asking is, what is their problem with me? 125 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:52,429 My first memory, a hummingbird dive-bombing my stroller... 126 00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,640 ...to get at the apple juice in my sippy cup. 127 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,726 Hummingbirds are pretty. 128 00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:01,438 Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world. 129 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,942 Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo. 130 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,072 Or a dolphin. I go back and forth. 131 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,576 Age 7, a blood-thirsty chicken chases me up a tree. 132 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:19,831 Age 12, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth. 133 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:24,085 Age 16, a parrot in a pet store calls me fat ass. 134 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,880 Need I go on? 135 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,883 Yes, please. This is way better than the movie, heh. 136 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,011 All right, Sheldon. Your bird death ray is ready. 137 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,474 It's not a death ray. It's just a little ultrasonic blast to scare him off. 138 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,519 Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be living here. 139 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:44,064 I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me... 140 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,899 ...for not using my death ray. 141 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:49,819 All right. And in three, two, one. 142 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,373 That is one tough birdie. 143 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,752 Come on, you enjoyed the movie. 144 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,673 I saw you tearing up when the village flooded and everyone had to relocate. 145 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,592 No, I was thinking how come they get to leave and I can't. 146 00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,888 I'm gonna get some fries. You want anything? 147 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,557 - Uh, no, thanks. - Are you sure? 148 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,643 Because you always say no, and then you eat half my fries. 149 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,145 I just eat the little crispy ones you don't like. 150 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:28,858 No, I love them. I save them for the end, but they're gone because you ate them. 151 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,528 And why did I let you eat them? 152 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,321 - To get sex. - Exactly. 153 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,741 But this is not a date. 154 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,119 So I ask again. Would you like anything? 155 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,998 - All right. I'd like an order of fries. - Great. That'll be 5 dollars. 156 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,335 I am having the best time. 157 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,213 I'm so glad you suggested we do this. 158 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,217 - Oh. Sorry. - No problem. 159 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:57,846 - What you writing there? - Uh, a screenplay. 160 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,099 It's about a guy whose roommate is having sex and tells him to go... 161 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,518 ...and work on his screenplay. 162 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,898 "I Hope Alex Gets Crabs: The Movie." 163 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,942 - It's a working title. - Oh. Ha, ha. 164 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,277 - I'm Kevin. - Oh, Penny. 165 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,570 Nice to meet you. 166 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:17,032 - I'll let you get back to your date. - Oh, no, no. This isn't a date. No. 167 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:19,993 Right? 168 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,704 Uh, right. 169 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,165 So have you written anything I might have seen? 170 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,876 That depends. How much time do you spend on Yelp? 171 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,724 This is ridiculous. 172 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,018 I'm a grown man from Texas. 173 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:49,689 This isn't a terrifying bird like a swan or a goose. 174 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,734 It's just a blue jay. 175 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,533 That's a pretty big blue jay. 176 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:22,263 One, two, three. 177 00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:24,474 Go. Shoo. 178 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:30,522 Bird in the apartment. Bird in the apartment. 179 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,857 No! 180 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,740 So it is an amazing documentary. 181 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,618 They need electricity from the dam... 182 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:47,497 ...but at the same time, they wanna preserve the environment. 183 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,084 You're kidding me. 184 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:57,465 - Uh, can I see you for a sec over here? - Oh, sure. Just one sec? 185 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,259 No problem. 186 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,845 - What's up? - I know what you're doing. 187 00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:04,055 - What? - You're going to talk to that guy... 188 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,475 - ...because I said we weren't on a date. - I'm talking to him because he's cute. 189 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,395 - Uh, come on. He's not that cute. - Yes, he is... 190 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,898 ...with his dorky T-shirt and his little hipster glasses. 191 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,157 I wear dorky T-shirts and glasses. 192 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:26,494 Yes, but when you're tall and have great cheekbones, you're doing it ironically. 193 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,916 - So, what if I start talking to a girl? - You should. 194 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,753 - Yeah, heh. I'm serious, I'll do it. - Good, go. 195 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,547 There's some girls right over there. 196 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:44,053 - What are you waiting for? - They're in a group. I'm scared. 197 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,850 Sheldon, what do you expect us to do? 198 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,188 You're biologists. Biology is the study of living things. 199 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,523 That's a living thing. Get cracking. 200 00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:01,070 I specialize in microorganisms and Amy studies brains. 201 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:04,532 Yeah, neither of us minored in bird shooing. 202 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,285 Oh, come, now. Your undergraduate work... 203 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,705 ...must've included a varmints and critters class. 204 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,125 Come back in, Sheldon. He's not gonna hurt you. 205 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:17,670 He looks friendly. I think he might be someone's pet. 206 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,756 What? No, Bernadette. Don't be a hero. 207 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,094 - Aw, he's a sweetie. - Yes. He's very sweet. 208 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:30,058 Now slowly and carefully flush him down the toilet. 209 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:37,023 Sheldon, the only way to get past this fear is to interact with it. 210 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,901 Just like you did with the mailman. 211 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:44,781 Every year, tens of people around the world are killed by birds. 212 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,451 I'm not going to be another statistic. 213 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:52,080 Look how sweet he is. Come over and say hi. 214 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,920 Come on, you can do it. 215 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,171 Don't be scared. 216 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,761 Oh, just pet the bird, you big baby. 217 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,812 I did it, heh. 218 00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,274 I actually did it. 219 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,110 Okay, now flush him. 220 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,323 So, Leonard, what do you do for fun? 221 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,409 Um, let's see. 222 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,494 Hiking. 223 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,622 Karaoke in Koreatown. 224 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,877 Any Jennifer Anniston movie. 225 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,422 - Hey, sorry I ditched you. - No, it's fine. Ditch away. 226 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,424 Oh, no. We were gonna hang out. Let's hang out. 227 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,802 - It's cool. Go back to Kevin. - No, he had to leave. 228 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,178 Interesting. 229 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,806 So now that he's gone, you wanna hang out with me. 230 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,391 - This must be Penny. - Yep. 231 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,560 I totally get it. 232 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,357 - Uh, I'm sorry. Get what? - Don't worry about it. 233 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,484 There's guys over there. Go talk to them. 234 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:07,572 - No, no. I wanna know what you told her. - That's kind of between me and... 235 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,532 - Laura. - Laura. 236 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,410 Oh, okay, I see. So while he was telling you things... 237 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,372 ...did he mention he owns not one, but two Star Trek uniforms? 238 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,374 - Really? - Yeah. Wears them. 239 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,710 Not just for Halloween. 240 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,172 Hey, pal. 241 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,718 You didn't see me telling Kevin that you thought cold wars... 242 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,387 ...were only fought in winter. 243 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,598 Okay, then I'll return the favor... 244 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,059 - ...and I won't tell... - Laura. 245 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:40,855 ...Laura that half the dirty movies you own are animated. 246 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,987 When you were telling Kevin about your acting career... 247 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,823 ...did you mention your long-running role as waitress... 248 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:54,410 ...in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory? 249 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,789 Did you tell her about your lucky asthma inhaler? 250 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,334 Oh, yeah? Spell asthma. 251 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:06,005 A-S... 252 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,966 Take me home. 253 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,759 Maybe I'm not done hanging out... 254 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,223 You're right, it's getting late. 255 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,689 It's remarkable. 256 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:26,901 All that time spent in fear. For what? 257 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,237 He's magnificent. 258 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:35,034 Ah! Oh, dear. I just realized I haven't offered you a beverage. 259 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,752 Aw, it's just like my grandma with her parrot. 260 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:48,339 And after she lost her marbles, with her remote control. 261 00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:54,887 My phone's on the desk over there. Take a picture of us together. 262 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,766 Make it good enough to go on a mug, a mouse pad and a calendar. 263 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,150 If you were a dove, I'd call you Lovey Dovey. 264 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:11,404 Oh, who am I kidding? This isn't a moment for strict adherence to the literal. 265 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,323 You're just my little Lovey Dovey, aren't you? 266 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:19,579 I guess you gotta have hollow bones to get some sugar around here. 267 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,500 I still think he looks like someone's pet. 268 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,210 Maybe we should put up posters. 269 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,630 Yes, it should have a big picture of him and the words: 270 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:33,426 "Is this your bird? Not anymore." 271 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,472 We're gonna have so much fun together. 272 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:40,016 You can carry messages to all my enemies. 273 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,267 And, um... 274 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:45,646 I can tie a string to your leg and fly you like a kite. 275 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,399 If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. 276 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,528 One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. 277 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:56,199 It was both tragic and hysterical. 278 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:02,622 Nonsense. No, Lovey Dovey doesn't sleep in a cage. 279 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:06,125 No, Lovey Dovey sleeps in his very own nest... 280 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,837 ...which I'm going to get off the window sill and put in my room. 281 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,507 Isn't that right, L.D.? 282 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:17,804 No. 283 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,430 Where are you going? 284 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,017 Come back, Lovey Dovey. This is your home now. 285 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:27,271 I already ordered 20 pounds of bird feed off of Amazon. 286 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,443 - He's gone. - I'm sorry, Sheldon. 287 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,570 How could he do this to me? 288 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:39,158 Get back here you stupid bird so I can love you! 289 00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:18,573 Okay, so we went out, saw a movie... 290 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,285 ...met some nice people, said horrible things about each other in public. 291 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:25,288 All in all, a pretty magical night. 292 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,666 Okay, I'm not innocent in all this, but you basically called me stupid... 293 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,711 ...you asthmatic dumb-ass. 294 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:36,549 I know, uh, I crossed the line. And I'm sorry. 295 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:40,219 And no, no, uh, I really mean it. It's not like when we were going out... 296 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,639 ...I'd just apologize for everything so we could end up in bed. 297 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:49,520 This is a 100 percent "sex is off the table" I'm sorry. 298 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,940 All right. Thank you. I'm sorry too. 299 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,819 Just to be clear, sex is off the table, right? 300 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,614 Way off. 301 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,701 Maybe we're not ready to hang out as friends. 302 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,745 I don't know. Up until the last part... 303 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:09,207 ...I was enjoying take-charge Leonard with a little backbone. 304 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:13,586 Picking the movie, knowing what he wants, a little cocky. 305 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,171 - Really? - Yeah. 306 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:19,467 Well, then, I'm putting sex back on the table. 307 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,764 What do you think about that? 308 00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,557 Hmm, maybe I like it. 309 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:30,770 If that's what you like, I can be that guy. I'll be anything you want me to be. 310 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:32,855 Good night, Leonard. 311 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,988 I am such an asthmatic dumb-ass. 312 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,450 I had a weird night. 313 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,577 Mine was great. 314 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,580 I'm going to be a mommy.