1
00:00:04,622 --> 00:00:07,508
Wow, we haven't been on a
double date in a long time, huh?
2
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,068
- I know.
- Is this shirt cool or what?
3
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:11,303
Yeah, you look good.
We both look good.
4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,680
We should look this good
for each other.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,348
Why?
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,016
Yeah, never mind.
7
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,948
So what, do you wanna share
a salad to start, or what...
8
00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:24,817
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Ah.
9
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,769
Don't burn stuff to talk about
when it's just us.
10
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,471
That whole...
What are you gonna order thing?
11
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,282
That is valuable small talk
for when stuff gets awkward.
12
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,867
Don't waste the small talk.
13
00:00:34,084 --> 00:00:35,334
[Clears throat]
14
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:41,625
I saw an albino dude
on the train today.
15
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:42,793
Love it.
16
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,921
Save it in case Roxanne
gets caught lying about her age.
17
00:00:46,759 --> 00:00:49,509
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
18
00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:50,801
You heard me.
19
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,778
[All laughing]
20
00:00:52,903 --> 00:00:54,163
Well, there you go.
21
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,664
So Roxanne tells me
you created an Internet company.
22
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,216
Yeah, but I just sold it actually.
23
00:00:57,341 --> 00:00:58,642
It's called mendeavors.com.
24
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:02,021
No way! I love that site.
All those videos are so helpful.
25
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,256
I still think 50%
of mendeavors traffic
26
00:01:04,381 --> 00:01:06,108
is people looking for gay porn.
27
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:09,236
I think 50% of all traffic
is people looking for gay porn.
28
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,598
I watched the video
on how to change a tire,
29
00:01:12,723 --> 00:01:13,966
how to tie a bow tie.
30
00:01:14,091 --> 00:01:16,327
Oh, and it helped me restring
my racquetball racquet.
31
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,604
Oh, dude, I used to play
a lot of racquetball.
32
00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:22,207
I'm sorry, you used to play
a lot of what ball?
33
00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:24,143
Well, yeah, I used to play
racquetball before I met you.
34
00:01:24,268 --> 00:01:25,844
Like, all the time.
35
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:27,713
I didn't know you played racquetball.
36
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,549
I did not know anyone
played racquetball.
37
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,218
Ha, ha, ha.
Laugh all you want.
38
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:33,761
You know, racquetball is actually...
39
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,095
Both: A surprisingly good
work out.
40
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,931
Yeah, that's...
[Laughing]
41
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,641
Oh, man.
44
00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:45,998
- What... hi, I'm Whitney.
- I'm Alex.
45
00:01:46,123 --> 00:01:48,776
You know that I did exist
before we met, right?
46
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,353
I just... I didn't realize
you were so exotic.
47
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,072
Are you just saying all this
to impress, um...
48
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,032
- Rob.
- Rob?
49
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:57,117
Hey, mission accomplished, buddy.
50
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,454
So I'm gonna let you guys
talk about me while I'm gone.
51
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,791
Well, you know we will, man.
52
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,317
Anybody know where the...
53
00:02:05,442 --> 00:02:07,002
The men's room, yeah.
It's outside to the left.
54
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,954
It's got a bear on the door.
55
00:02:09,079 --> 00:02:11,323
Don't ask me why 'cause there
definitely are girl bears too.
56
00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:15,084
[Laughter]
57
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:16,887
What?
This guy's awesome.
58
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,364
Yeah. I don't know.
59
00:02:18,489 --> 00:02:20,641
I think there's something weird
about Rob.
60
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,168
Roxanne, come on.
He's great.
61
00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:25,813
- I mean, I wanna date him.
- Yeah, you should.
62
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,425
No, he's nice,
but he's oddly curious.
63
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,809
I mean, that is a lot of questions
64
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,696
for someone who's not
prescribing me antidepressants.
65
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,315
Roxanne, you are used
to dating narcissists,
66
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,851
so you're just freaking out
because Rob actually wants
67
00:02:38,976 --> 00:02:40,953
to talk about something
other than himself.
68
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,996
Yeah, I mean, Roxanne,
that's really true.
69
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:44,757
I mean, he was, like,
all interested in me.
70
00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:47,668
It made me feel kinda like,
I don't know... special.
71
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,247
Look, he might be great on paper,
72
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,134
but I just... I feel like
he's hiding something.
73
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,002
He's not hiding anything, okay?
74
00:02:57,127 --> 00:02:58,253
I actually think
I know more about Rob
75
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,139
than I know about Alex, if...
76
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,765
That's even your name.
77
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,851
Well, sometime's you call me
"Bunny Bunny."
78
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,603
[Laughs nervously]
No.
79
00:03:08,572 --> 00:03:09,481
Look, whatever.
80
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,816
I'm just telling you guys.
81
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,318
I feel like he's gonna ask me
82
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,520
to join a religion I can't afford...
83
00:03:14,645 --> 00:03:15,737
Or tell me he's really a woman.
84
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:17,356
Well, yeah, that would be awesome.
85
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,700
'Cause then I could date him.
86
00:03:20,674 --> 00:03:22,261
I just think it's weird
87
00:03:22,386 --> 00:03:23,729
that we've been together
for three years
88
00:03:23,854 --> 00:03:26,498
and I had no idea that
you play racquetball or poker.
89
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,450
What, like, that's exciting for you?
90
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,460
Like, I'm mysterious?
Like, maybe I'm a secret agent?
91
00:03:30,626 --> 00:03:33,372
Uh, you playing racquetball
92
00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:34,940
doesn't make me think
you're a secret agent.
93
00:03:35,065 --> 00:03:38,427
It makes me think you're secretly 55.
94
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,497
Well, what if I told you
I was in an acappella group?
95
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,272
That would not be good.
96
00:03:44,479 --> 00:03:45,642
Then I was not in one.
97
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,656
Okay, I just feel like
there are certain things
98
00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,224
that I should know about you,
99
00:03:52,349 --> 00:03:53,459
like you know,
what countries you've been to,
100
00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:54,943
or if you've broken a bone.
101
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,320
Uh, I broke my hand in high school.
102
00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:57,529
Oh, as a result of hate crime
103
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,323
because you were in
an acappella group?
104
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:02,201
No, I punched a wall actually...
105
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:06,505
After I got second place
in a science fair.
106
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,665
How many women have you slept with?
107
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,126
S... uh...
108
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,754
Same amount as last time
I answered that question.
109
00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:16,648
- Have you ever killed a man?
- Uh-uh.
110
00:04:16,773 --> 00:04:18,675
- Ever killed a woman?
- Not yet.
111
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,486
Look, Whit,
there's no big mystery, okay?
112
00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,489
Racquetball and poker...
Those were two things
113
00:04:23,614 --> 00:04:24,932
that I used to do
that I don't do anymore.
114
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,625
- Well, why not?
- Because that's what happens
115
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:27,926
when guys get into relationships.
116
00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:29,728
You know, they take some
of their old hobbies
117
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,765
and they exchange them
for some new hobbies.
118
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:36,818
Like, uh, having sex
on a regular basis.
119
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,904
That's a shared hobby.
120
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,657
Okay, but what are we gonna do
during the day, you know?
121
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,034
I mean, there's gotta be
some stuff you miss.
122
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,911
Um...
123
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,279
Well, I guess now that
I think about it
124
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:48,288
I kinda miss having Thai food.
125
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,549
[Groans]
126
00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:52,459
Let's order it.
127
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,653
- But Whit, you don't like it.
- I like it.
128
00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:58,757
I just don't like fire shooting
out of every hole in my body.
129
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:03,261
Well, you just ruined our
one shared hobby there.
130
00:05:07,364 --> 00:05:09,459
{pub}I mean, Alex says he doesn't care.
131
00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:12,229
But I just... I feel like we don't
do enough things together.
132
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,480
It is important.
133
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,748
I mean, Lance and I got divorced
134
00:05:14,873 --> 00:05:16,316
because we had nothing in common.
135
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,717
I liked wine and old movies.
136
00:05:17,842 --> 00:05:19,886
- And he liked... Heather...
- Right.
137
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:23,365
And that Asian girl
whose name I did not catch.
138
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,142
I mean, I could play poker with Alex.
139
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:28,828
But I feel like I've worked so
hard to not have to take money
140
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,456
from sad, sweaty men.
141
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:32,782
This is all Rob's fault.
142
00:05:32,907 --> 00:05:34,150
I told you something was
weird about him,
143
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:35,368
and now I know what it is.
144
00:05:35,493 --> 00:05:37,237
He destroys everything he touches.
145
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,039
Roxanne, I know
what you're doing, okay?
146
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,441
You're afraid of getting hurt,
so you're finding flaws in Rob
147
00:05:41,566 --> 00:05:42,968
that do no exist.
148
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,277
You're right.
149
00:05:44,402 --> 00:05:47,414
I've got to stop making up
flaws about him...
150
00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:49,224
And start focusing on the reones.
151
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,551
Okay.
152
00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:52,836
- Hi.
- Hey.
153
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,121
Namaste, my bitches.
154
00:05:55,246 --> 00:05:57,757
So sorry, my bikram
yoga session ran late.
155
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,443
Lil, you something on your forehead.
156
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,595
No, that's my bindi.
157
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,656
Yeah, I've been trying to
embrace my Indian side for Neal.
158
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:08,493
So you put a tiny
bike reflector on your face?
159
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:11,204
It's a hindu symbol
that represents the third eye.
160
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,472
When I met Neal's mom last week,
161
00:06:12,597 --> 00:06:17,127
I got the impression she wished
I was more Indian.
162
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,503
- More Indian?
- Yeah.
163
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:21,948
I'm not sure that's something
you just add to cart.
164
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,617
No, she's worried
I'm not gonna embrace
165
00:06:23,742 --> 00:06:25,285
Neal's family traditions.
166
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,345
But I'm actually into it, you know?
167
00:06:27,511 --> 00:06:28,788
My parents were hippie atheists,
168
00:06:28,913 --> 00:06:30,674
so we never celebrated anything.
169
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:35,562
But they did throw me a party
when I dated my first black guy.
170
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,796
You're so good, Lil.
171
00:06:36,921 --> 00:06:39,065
You're always working
at your relationship.
172
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,500
You know what?
173
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:42,068
I'm gonna play racquetball with Alex.
174
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,603
Yeah!
175
00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:46,448
That seems... gawky.
176
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,341
Everyone says that
relationships take work
177
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:50,110
and I need to put more effort in.
178
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:53,380
I mean, I haven't been on top
in, like, two years.
179
00:06:53,505 --> 00:06:55,115
I never know what to do
with my hands, you know?
180
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,808
It's like...
181
00:07:03,448 --> 00:07:05,792
Seriously, Whit, you don't
have to do this, you know?
182
00:07:05,917 --> 00:07:08,819
Yeah, we do.
This is our new thing.
183
00:07:10,672 --> 00:07:11,806
[Grunts]
184
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:17,003
- What?
- Oh, no, nothing.
185
00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:18,254
I'm just waiting for the rest
of the roller derby team
186
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,006
to get here.
187
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:21,207
Very funny.
188
00:07:21,332 --> 00:07:23,560
Give me a racquet,
and get ready to lose.
189
00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:25,320
Okay.
Here you go.
190
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,396
I'm about to take the balls out.
191
00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:27,547
They're small and they're blue.
192
00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:29,316
So you get one joke.
Use it wisely.
193
00:07:29,441 --> 00:07:31,884
You have 30 seconds.
Go.
194
00:07:32,009 --> 00:07:34,220
Ooh, um, Alex, your balls are so...
195
00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:35,355
No, no, no.
196
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,491
Um... prom night went wrong, so... nah.
197
00:07:38,616 --> 00:07:40,193
Okay, um...
198
00:07:40,318 --> 00:07:43,505
I'm in the area of smurfette's chin.
199
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,173
Mm-hmm.
There's something there.
200
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,867
Um, oh, oh, uh, uh, blue man group,
201
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:49,970
- uh, on fire island.
- Ten seconds.
202
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,038
Ha. I got it.
Little boy blue, go blow your...
203
00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:54,841
- Time!
- No!
204
00:07:54,966 --> 00:07:56,867
All right, now, we play to 15,
205
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,604
and you can't let the ball
bounce twice.
206
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,882
I know.
I looked this up on Wikipedia.
207
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,319
[Laughing]
Okay.
208
00:08:11,649 --> 00:08:13,943
All right, I'm ready.
209
00:08:14,068 --> 00:08:15,870
'Kay.
210
00:08:17,388 --> 00:08:18,873
[Grunts]
211
00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:21,434
- One, nothing.
- Too fast.
212
00:08:21,559 --> 00:08:23,770
Okay, let's go.
Let's go.
213
00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:24,713
- All right.
- Okay.
214
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:25,922
- Ready?
- Uh-huh.
215
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,281
Okay.
216
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,427
[Grunts]
217
00:08:30,702 --> 00:08:32,045
Two, nothing.
218
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,305
The grunting is unnecessary
and it's really echo-y in here.
219
00:08:34,471 --> 00:08:35,473
All the good players do it.
220
00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:38,101
No, I can see that.
221
00:08:38,543 --> 00:08:39,686
Oh, yeah!
222
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:41,971
I didn't know we were starting.
223
00:08:42,096 --> 00:08:44,607
You served.
224
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,903
Three, zero.
225
00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:51,181
Four, zero.
226
00:08:51,306 --> 00:08:52,965
You can't kick it.
227
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,617
You can't catch it!
228
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:58,705
I hit it.
229
00:08:59,314 --> 00:09:00,573
Ten, nothing.
230
00:09:00,698 --> 00:09:03,410
I hit it!
That's a point.
231
00:09:03,535 --> 00:09:05,745
Okay, fine.
Ten, one.
232
00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:07,747
That's still not close.
233
00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:10,008
I'm coming back.
234
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:13,810
11, 1.
235
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,005
14.
236
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,508
[Grunts]
237
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:19,809
15, 1.
Game over.
238
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,661
Thanks. That was just as fun
as I remember it.
239
00:09:21,786 --> 00:09:23,930
I don't even need to take a shower.
240
00:09:24,055 --> 00:09:25,365
Two out of three.
241
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:27,484
Come on, we still got 56 minutes
of court time.
242
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,835
Let's go!
243
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,477
All right, I'll be here.
244
00:09:33,882 --> 00:09:37,310
So, Roxanne, who is this Rob guy
245
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,204
that Alex keeps going
on and on about?
246
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,347
No, I'm looking to get out
of the Rob business.
247
00:09:41,472 --> 00:09:43,750
I mean, he asks too many questions.
248
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,518
What's your birthday?
Where are you from?
249
00:09:45,643 --> 00:09:49,589
Why are you crying?
Who cares?
250
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:52,909
Yeah, you shouldn't have
to take that, Roxanne.
251
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,711
I'm telling you, I have
a sixth sense about this.
252
00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:57,630
Plus, I googled him and
it came up "no results found."
253
00:09:57,755 --> 00:10:01,809
So clearly, he is not a person.
254
00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:03,336
Google?
You're still relying on that?
255
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:05,972
Google is for amateurs, trust me.
256
00:10:06,097 --> 00:10:08,399
I got a way we can find out
the real deal about old Rob.
257
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,367
What are you doing?
258
00:10:12,604 --> 00:10:16,549
Could also just do
a background check.
259
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,359
- Hey, hey, Whit!
- Hi.
260
00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,073
Oh, God, Whit.
You look like you're in pain.
261
00:10:24,198 --> 00:10:25,108
I am.
262
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,060
Stupid racquetball.
263
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:29,829
I feel like a porn star
after horseback riding lessons.
264
00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:32,065
Why would a porn star
take riding lessons?
265
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:35,927
Aren't they busy having sex
and regretting... everything?
266
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,720
Wasn't a perfect metaphor, Neal.
267
00:10:37,886 --> 00:10:40,072
What about tantric sex?
268
00:10:40,197 --> 00:10:42,926
- We should try that.
- Because it's Indian.
269
00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:46,212
Yeah. They talk about it
in the kama sutra.
270
00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:48,581
Which is... Indian!
271
00:10:48,706 --> 00:10:50,350
What's the point of that?
272
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,218
Who has sex and doesn't get
to finish?
273
00:10:52,343 --> 00:10:54,696
Women.
274
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,974
Alex and I, we need
to find something else to do
275
00:10:58,099 --> 00:11:02,120
now that this is...
Off the table for a couple days.
276
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:04,364
Oh, well, you said he likes
Thai food, right?
277
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,932
I'm doing a whole Thai thing
for my blog
278
00:11:06,057 --> 00:11:07,433
so I need to review
this place in wicker park.
279
00:11:07,558 --> 00:11:09,118
- I'll take you guys tonight.
- Okay, yeah.
280
00:11:09,243 --> 00:11:10,136
I mean, I just feel like racquetball
281
00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:11,404
was a little ambitious.
282
00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:14,757
I feel like it's a sport
for people in prison.
283
00:11:14,923 --> 00:11:16,042
Hey, you know what you get
284
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:17,577
when you start a game of racquetball
285
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:19,412
and you don't get to finish?
286
00:11:19,537 --> 00:11:21,222
I already did that.
Blue balls.
287
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,283
[Laughs]
Oh, man.
288
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,976
That's actually way better
than what I was gonna say.
289
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:35,395
{pub}Lily, this isn't Thai.
This is Indian.
290
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,897
Well, India's very close to Thailand.
291
00:11:37,022 --> 00:11:39,824
It's mostly the same spices
and flavors.
292
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:43,619
I'm not sure if that's racist
or just true.
293
00:11:43,785 --> 00:11:45,839
It's both.
294
00:11:45,964 --> 00:11:47,207
Chef Kudchakachakhar
295
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,243
Hello again.
Hi.
296
00:11:49,368 --> 00:11:51,178
Thanks, mom.
One snide comment,
297
00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:54,505
and I'm stuck with Madonna
in her most annoying phase.
298
00:11:54,671 --> 00:11:57,508
I'm sorry.
Do you wanna go somewhere else?
299
00:11:57,674 --> 00:11:59,653
Oh, it's okay, Whit.
You hate Indian food too,
300
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:02,138
so it really makes the sacrifice
no less touching.
301
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,792
I do not hate Indian food.
302
00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:07,528
I'm just not always in the mood
for warm orange yogurt
303
00:12:07,653 --> 00:12:10,605
that makes me sweat and cry.
304
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:13,200
Hey, he's giving us his best table.
305
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:14,567
I think it's the sari.
306
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:19,163
No, I think he just feels sorry.
307
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,994
So, uh, should we start
with some samosas?
308
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,247
[Correcting]
Samosas.
309
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,247
Samosas?
310
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:29,832
- Samosas.
- Samosas.
311
00:12:29,998 --> 00:12:31,042
- Samosas.
- Samosas.
312
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,352
- Samosas.
- Samosa... what am I saying?
313
00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:35,213
Samosas, but it's okay.
I knew what you meant.
314
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:41,385
So what else look to people?
Saag paneer.
315
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,597
What? What's wrong?
316
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:47,701
Hon, you might wanna dial down
the intensity
317
00:12:47,826 --> 00:12:49,143
on the whole Indian thing.
318
00:12:50,095 --> 00:12:51,979
Oh, I'm being intense.
319
00:12:52,145 --> 00:12:54,308
I'm sorry, I thought I was
embracing your culture.
320
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:58,236
Lil, I'm from Ohio.
I'm not from India.
321
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,613
Neither am I.
322
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:02,143
Your mom reminded me of that,
like, three times during dinner.
323
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,160
I saw an albino dude on the train.
324
00:13:08,847 --> 00:13:11,391
[Mouthing words]
325
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:14,628
Now I feel silly.
I just want your mom to like me.
326
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,663
Babe, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
327
00:13:16,788 --> 00:13:19,800
but... I don't care
what my mom thinks.
328
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,802
My mom doesn't even like my dad
329
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,387
and he's way more Indian than you.
330
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,240
Oh, thank God.
331
00:13:26,365 --> 00:13:27,674
'Cause I'm wrapped so tight
in this thing
332
00:13:27,799 --> 00:13:31,078
I haven't peed since, like, 4:00.
333
00:13:31,203 --> 00:13:33,187
Look, you don't have to have
everything in common, see?
334
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:34,514
It's very sweet that you tried,
335
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,065
but you can't force these things.
336
00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:39,485
I mean, you're not athletic,
and you know what, that's cool.
337
00:13:42,381 --> 00:13:45,542
First of all, racquetball is a prank
338
00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,661
that somehow caught on.
339
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,797
- Second, I'm very athletic.
- Okay.
340
00:13:50,922 --> 00:13:54,434
I mean, come on.
341
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,627
- I played basketball.
- As a kid.
342
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:59,606
As a teen, competitively in Europe.
343
00:13:59,731 --> 00:14:00,631
What?
344
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,801
[Laughing]
Okay.
345
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,554
As a part of a traveling
all-star team.
346
00:14:07,105 --> 00:14:08,315
I'm sorry, what?
347
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,449
I can't tell if she's kidding.
348
00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:10,808
Why have I not heard about this?
349
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:13,519
I told you about this,
like, the first week we met.
350
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,221
I feel like if you were
that good at something,
351
00:14:15,346 --> 00:14:17,758
I would definitely hear about it
every single day.
352
00:14:17,883 --> 00:14:19,493
I think I'm gonna need
something proof about this.
353
00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:20,794
- Okay, great!
- Yeah.
354
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,278
Holla.
Name the day.
355
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:23,797
Tomorrow.
356
00:14:23,922 --> 00:14:25,532
That's soon.
357
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,033
Okay, bring it.
358
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,784
All right, I'm clearing
the entire afternoon.
359
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:29,770
Great.
360
00:14:29,895 --> 00:14:31,104
Oh, you're not gonna need to do that.
361
00:14:31,229 --> 00:14:32,997
This'll only take a minute.
362
00:14:38,536 --> 00:14:40,880
[Cheering]
363
00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:45,752
[Hip-hop music]
364
00:14:45,877 --> 00:14:53,234
♪ ♪
365
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:11,712
- Want a few warm-up shots?
- Nope. Check it.
366
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,996
Oh! 'Kay.
Take it easy.
367
00:15:14,162 --> 00:15:16,383
Okay. What?
368
00:15:16,508 --> 00:15:17,985
What-what?
What's the problem?
369
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:20,678
What! Oh!
370
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:24,624
Two, zero.
371
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,059
Make it take it?
372
00:15:26,184 --> 00:15:28,094
Okay, so that's
how it's gonna be, huh?
373
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,520
All right.
374
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:38,229
Five, nothing, bitch.
375
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,316
Okay.
376
00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:44,693
Oh, my God.
She's good!
377
00:15:44,859 --> 00:15:46,654
♪ Go, Whitney!
Go, Whitney! ♪
378
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,481
♪ hey, hey!
Go, Whitney! ♪
379
00:15:48,606 --> 00:15:49,816
It's just so unexpected,
380
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:51,992
like the first time you see
a monkey make an omelet.
381
00:15:56,079 --> 00:15:58,290
[Cheering]
Whitney!
382
00:16:02,335 --> 00:16:03,212
Ugh.
383
00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:04,880
No way!
384
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:07,534
Aww.
385
00:16:07,659 --> 00:16:09,519
[Cheering]
386
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,762
Get your head in the game,
Miller, come on!
387
00:16:14,764 --> 00:16:16,267
What-what!
388
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,231
Come on, traveling!
You walked!
389
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,356
Oh, 12 to 4.
390
00:16:22,824 --> 00:16:24,034
Oh, and do we need all the grunting?
391
00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:25,943
It's just kinda echo-y in here.
392
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:32,866
- [Grunts]
- Oh!
393
00:16:33,032 --> 00:16:34,952
- All right, that was a foul.
- That was all ball.
394
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:37,164
- That was a foul!
- All ball!
395
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,657
Boop.
396
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,210
Dang it.
Come on!
397
00:16:43,762 --> 00:16:46,672
Damn it! Damn it!
[Bleep] [Bleep].
398
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,048
Alex, take it easy.
399
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,260
I am taking it easy.
This is me taking it easy.
400
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:57,934
Hey, what would the funniest
song to put under this be?
401
00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,019
No, you know what?
402
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,811
I'm gonna write a little something.
403
00:17:00,977 --> 00:17:02,389
- [Gasp]
- Oh!
404
00:17:02,514 --> 00:17:05,274
Still rolling.
405
00:17:07,385 --> 00:17:09,753
- Hi.
- Hey.
406
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,837
You know,
407
00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:21,458
I'm sorry I, uh...
408
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,677
I don't know what happened
back there.
409
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:28,047
Uh, you went insane.
410
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:34,219
Yeah, I mean, that's what happened.
411
00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:35,822
You know, when I was leaving,
it looked like you were trying
412
00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:38,291
to jam the ball into the rafters?
413
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:39,860
Yeah, that's what I was trying to do.
414
00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:41,094
- Did you end up doing it?
- Yeah, I got it up there.
415
00:17:41,219 --> 00:17:42,895
It's all stuck, yeah.
416
00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:44,598
This is very interesting.
417
00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:46,066
Among all the things
I didn't know about you,
418
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,526
turns out you're also
not the best loser.
419
00:17:49,692 --> 00:17:54,990
I didn't lose.
I just... quit...
420
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:57,534
While you were winning.
421
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,312
It's all making sense
to me now though.
422
00:17:59,437 --> 00:18:02,916
I mean, I remember
we went to play mini golf
423
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,876
and you jammed your putter
into the clown's mouth.
424
00:18:06,278 --> 00:18:07,211
Oh, yeah.
425
00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:10,657
Well, it was mocking me.
426
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:12,626
Maybe that's why I gave up
all this stuff.
427
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,462
Everybody wanted to stop
playing with me.
428
00:18:15,587 --> 00:18:17,330
I'm just glad that I'm not
the reason that you gave up
429
00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:18,555
all that stuff.
430
00:18:19,024 --> 00:18:20,600
Oh, no, you're the reason
why I just got banned
431
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,136
from the "y."
432
00:18:23,261 --> 00:18:24,571
Today was weird.
433
00:18:24,696 --> 00:18:27,397
I'm not used to being
the calm, sane one.
434
00:18:27,563 --> 00:18:30,410
Well, you know,
that'll all change really soon.
435
00:18:30,535 --> 00:18:34,047
Hey, can I admit something to you?
436
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:35,832
Sure.
437
00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:38,835
Watching you out there today...
438
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,354
Pretty hot.
439
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:42,204
Really?
440
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:43,924
Yeah.
441
00:18:44,049 --> 00:18:45,358
[Snickering]
442
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:47,928
No.
443
00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:49,095
Uh, what do you say?
444
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,964
You wanna maybe go hit the showers?
445
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,667
Oh, um, I actually
don't need a shower.
446
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,342
I didn't really break a sweat.
447
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,511
So, sorry.
448
00:19:00,555 --> 00:19:01,708
[Knocking]
449
00:19:01,833 --> 00:19:03,226
Come in.
450
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,352
Ah ha! I knew it!
451
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:08,188
Rob is officially creepy.
452
00:19:08,354 --> 00:19:09,606
I ran a background check.
453
00:19:09,772 --> 00:19:12,150
Turns out he's an identity thief.
454
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:13,569
Pretty good one too.
455
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:15,362
He was just arrested
for forging passports.
456
00:19:15,528 --> 00:19:16,656
Hmm!
457
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,358
Ah ho!
458
00:19:18,483 --> 00:19:20,659
That's why he was asking you
so many questions.
459
00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:25,163
Ah, no wonder he wanted
to know my mom's maiden name.
460
00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:26,832
And you thought I was crazy.
461
00:19:26,998 --> 00:19:28,802
Sorry, I just...
462
00:19:28,927 --> 00:19:30,168
Luckily you didn't sleep with him.
463
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:31,605
Yeah, right.
464
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:34,224
[Wheezing laughter]
So...
465
00:19:34,349 --> 00:19:35,809
Roxanne!
466
00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:38,945
[Stammering]
467
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,220
Oh... yeah.
468
00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:51,189
{pub}Let's do something
we haven't done in a long time.
469
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:52,691
Really?
470
00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:55,693
- Oh, we're not doing that.
- Aw.
471
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,446
Wanna talk dirty?
472
00:19:57,612 --> 00:19:59,196
Uh, yeah.
473
00:19:59,321 --> 00:20:00,616
Yeah, you're a bad girl.
474
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,200
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
475
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:04,455
How am I a bad girl?
476
00:20:04,696 --> 00:20:06,038
Uh...
477
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:08,457
Uh, you just... you do bad things.
478
00:20:08,623 --> 00:20:09,707
Mm.
479
00:20:09,832 --> 00:20:11,314
What kind of bad things?
480
00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:16,113
Uh, you...
You didn't reorder the checks.
481
00:20:16,238 --> 00:20:17,966
So we can't pay our bills on time.
482
00:20:19,024 --> 00:20:19,817
Yeah.
483
00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:22,286
Well, that doesn't
make me a bad girl.
484
00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:24,688
That just makes me a busy girl.
485
00:20:24,813 --> 00:20:26,099
Yeah, but you're a busy girl
486
00:20:26,348 --> 00:20:27,792
who leaves peanut butter
on the spoons
487
00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:29,627
and puts them in the dishwasher.
488
00:20:29,752 --> 00:20:31,395
Yeah, bad girl, yeah.
489
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,665
Yeah, well, at least
I don't put bowls on the bottom
490
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:37,068
which blocks the water.
491
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:38,569
Oh, but you know what?
492
00:20:38,694 --> 00:20:41,072
It doesn't matter actually
where you put the bowls
493
00:20:41,197 --> 00:20:42,606
because we have jets on the top
494
00:20:42,731 --> 00:20:44,608
and the bottom of the dishwasher.
495
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:45,661
Oh, bad girl.
496
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,871
I think living together
has kind of ruined this.
497
00:20:49,956 --> 00:20:53,085
Yeah, we're so bad at this.
Yeah, so bad.
498
00:20:53,526 --> 00:20:56,713
- Like this.
- Just stop.
499
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:59,674
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com