1 00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,201 Wow. We haven't been on a double date... Hi. 2 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,535 ...in a long time, huh? I know. 3 00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:09,768 Is this shirt cool or what? 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,073 Yeah, you look good. We both look good. 5 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:13,476 We should look this good for each other. 6 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,138 Why? 7 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,808 Yeah, never mind. 8 00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:21,550 (SlGHS) 9 00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:24,122 So, what, do you want to share a salad to start, or... 10 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,521 Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah. 11 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,355 Don't burn stuff to talk about when it's just us. 12 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,122 That whole, "What are you going to order" thing, 13 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:32,062 that is valuable small talk for when stuff gets awkward. 14 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:33,593 Don't waste the small talk. 15 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:36,428 (CLEARS THROAT) 16 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,399 I saw an albino dude on the train today. 17 00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:43,840 Love it. Save it 18 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,572 in case Roxanne gets caught lying about her age. 19 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,143 WHlTNEY: Whitney is taped in front of a live studio audience. 20 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,649 You heard me. 21 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:52,944 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 22 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:54,111 Well, there you go. 23 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:57,122 So, Roxanne tells me you created an lnternet company? 24 00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,418 Yeah, but I just sold it, actually. 25 00:00:58,491 --> 00:00:59,856 It's called Mendeavors.com. It's a... 26 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,257 No way. I love that site. 27 00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,885 All those videos are so helpful. 28 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,691 I still think 50% of Mendeavors traffic 29 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,823 is people looking for gay porn. 30 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,458 I think 50% of all traffic 31 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,002 is people looking for gay porn. 32 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,264 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 33 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:14,497 I watched the video on how to change a tire, how to tie a bow tie. 34 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,906 Oh, and it helped me restring my racquetball racket. 35 00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:18,568 Oh, dude, I used to play a lot of racquetball. 36 00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:22,371 I'm sorry? You used to play a lot of what-ball? 37 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:24,442 Well, yeah. I used to play racquetball 38 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:25,779 before I met you, like, all the time. 39 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,287 I didn't know you played racquetball. 40 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:31,289 I... I did not know anyone played racquetball. (SCOFFS) 41 00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:32,847 Ha, ha, ha. Laugh all you want. 44 00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:39,530 That's... (LAUGHlNG) Oh, man! 45 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,464 I used to play all the time with the guys from the poker game. 46 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,061 What poker game? What guys? 47 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,071 What... Hi, I'm Whitney. 48 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:49,039 I'm Alex. You know that I did exist before we met, right? 49 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,010 No, I just... I didn't realize you were so exotic. 50 00:01:52,078 --> 00:01:53,875 I mean, are you just saying all this to impress, um... 51 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,611 Rob. Rob? 52 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,540 Hey, mission accomplished, buddy. (CHUCKLES) 53 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:01,152 So, I'm going to let you guys talk about me while I'm gone. 54 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,984 Well, you know we will, man. (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 55 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,652 Anybody know where the, uh... 56 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,625 The men's room, yeah. It's outside to the left. 57 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,025 Uh, it's got a bear on the door. 58 00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:11,359 Don't ask me why because there definitely are girl bears, too. 59 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,194 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 60 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,502 What? This guy is awesome. 61 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:19,128 (LAUGHS) Yeah, I don't know. 62 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,366 I think there's something weird about Rob. 63 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:23,571 Roxanne, come on. He's great. 64 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,303 I mean, I want to date him. 65 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:26,606 Yeah, you should. 66 00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:30,113 No. He's nice but he's oddly curious. 67 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,048 I mean, that is a lot of questions for someone 68 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,313 who's not prescribing me anti-depressants. 69 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:38,021 Roxanne, you are used to dating narcissists, so you're just freaking out 70 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,652 because Rob actually wants to talk about something other than himself. 71 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,690 Yeah. I mean, Roxanne, that's really true. 72 00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,287 I mean, he was, like, all interested in me. 73 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,391 It made me feel kind of like, I don't know, special. 74 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,997 Look, he might be great on paper, 75 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:55,768 but I just... I feel like he's hiding something. 76 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,707 He's not hiding anything. Okay? 77 00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,473 I actually think I know more about Rob than I know about Alex. 78 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,447 If that's even your name. 79 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,443 Oh, yeah, sometimes, you call me "Bunny Bunny." 80 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,247 (LAUGHS EMBARRASSlNGLY) What? No. 81 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,113 Look, whatever. I'm just telling you guys, 82 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:15,059 I feel like he's going to ask me to join a religion I can't afford. 83 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,527 Or tell me he's really a woman. 84 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,927 Well, then, that would be awesome 85 00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:19,396 'cause then, I could date him. 86 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,098 I just think it's weird that we've been together for three years 87 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:27,264 and I had no idea that you played racquetball or poker. 88 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,834 What, like, that's exciting for you? 89 00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:31,035 Like, I'm mysterious? Like, maybe I'm a secret agent? 90 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,901 Uh... (LAUGHS) 91 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:35,607 You playing racquetball doesn't make me think you're a secret agent. 92 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:38,549 It makes me think you're secretly 55. 93 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:41,544 Well, what if I told you I was in an acappella group? 94 00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,188 That would not be good. 95 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,455 Then, I was not in one. 96 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,524 Okay, I just feel like 97 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,326 there are certain things that I should know about you. 98 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,229 Like, you know, what countries you've been to 99 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,699 or if you've broken a bone. 100 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,099 Uh, I broke my hand in high school. 101 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,694 Oh. As a result of hate crime 102 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,102 because you were in an acappella group? 103 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,801 No, I punched a wall, actually... Oh. 104 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,544 ...after I got second place in the science fair. 105 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,374 How many women have you slept with? 106 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:10,743 Uh... 107 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,518 Same amount as last time I answered that question. 108 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,445 Have you ever killed a man? Uh-uh. 109 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,388 Have you killed a woman? Not yet. 110 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,317 Look, Whit, there's no big mystery, okay? 111 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,521 Racquetball and poker, 112 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,359 those were two things that I used to do that I don't do anymore. 113 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,489 Well, why not? 114 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,625 Because that's what happens when guys get into relationships. 115 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,760 You know? They take some of their old hobbies 116 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,362 and they exchange them for some new hobbies. 117 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,272 Like, uh, having sex on a regular basis. 118 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:39,702 That's a shared hobby. 119 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,770 Okay, but what are we going to do during the day? 120 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:44,783 You know? I mean, there's got to be some stuff you miss. 121 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,211 Um... 122 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:47,950 Well, I guess, now that I think about it, 123 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,079 I kind of miss having Thai food. 124 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,315 Ugh! 125 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,951 Let's order it. 126 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,420 But, Whit, you don't like it. 127 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,927 I do like it. I just don't like 128 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:58,793 fire shooting out of every hole in my body. 129 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:03,531 Well, you just ruined our one shared hobby there. 130 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:11,607 I mean, Alex says he doesn't care, but I just... 131 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,908 I feel like we don't do enough things together. 132 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,174 It is important. 133 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,375 I mean, Lance and l got divorced because we had nothing in common. 134 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,847 You know? I liked wine and old movies 135 00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:21,682 and he liked Heather. Right. 136 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:24,917 And that Asian girl whose name I did not catch. 137 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,687 Mmm-mmm. I mean, I could play poker with Alex. 138 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,284 God, but I feel like I've worked so hard 139 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,728 to not have to take money from sad, sweaty men. 140 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,596 Mmm. This is all Rob's fault. 141 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:35,964 I told you something was weird about him 142 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,195 and now I know what it is. Mmm. 143 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,101 He destroys everything he touches. 144 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,003 (CHUCKLES) Roxanne, I know what you're doing. Okay? 145 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,098 You're afraid of getting hurt, 146 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,643 so you're finding flaws in Rob that do not exist. 147 00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:45,869 You're right. 148 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,142 I have got to stop making up flaws about him 149 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,683 and start focusing on the real ones. Okay. 150 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,045 Hi. Hey. 151 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,816 Namaste, my bitches. 152 00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:59,653 So sorry. My Bikram yoga session ran late. 153 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,250 Lily, you've got something on your forehead. 154 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,255 No, that's my bindi. 155 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,298 Yeah, I've been trying to embrace my lndian side for Neal. 156 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,725 So, you put a tiny bike reflector on your face? 157 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:12,931 It's a Hindu symbol that represents the third eye. 158 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,370 And when I met Neal's mom last week, 159 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,376 I got the impression she wished I was more lndian. 160 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,442 More lndian? Yeah. 161 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:23,710 I'm not sure that's something you just add to cart. 162 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,848 No. She's worried I'm not going to embrace Neal's family traditions. 163 00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,784 But I'm actually into it, you know? 164 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,482 My parents were hippie atheists, 165 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,490 so we never celebrated anything. 166 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,889 But they did throw me a party 167 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,393 when I dated my first black guy. 168 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,924 You're so good, Lil. You're always working at your relationship. 169 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,833 You know what? I'm going to play racquetball with Alex. 170 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,005 Yeah. That seems gawky. 171 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,166 Everyone says that relationships take work. 172 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,835 And I need to put more effort in. 173 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,004 I mean, I haven't been on top in, like, two years. 174 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:56,547 I never know what to do with my hands. 175 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,413 You know? It's like... 176 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,658 Seriously, Whit, you really don't have to do this, you know. 177 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:10,195 Yeah, we do. This is our new thing. 178 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:13,862 (GRUNTlNG) 179 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,303 What? Oh, no, nothing. I'm just waiting 180 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,805 for the rest of the roller derby team to get here. 181 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:22,965 Very funny. 182 00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,340 Give me a racquet and get ready to lose. 183 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:26,844 Okay. Here you go. 184 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:27,937 I'm about to take the balls out. 185 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,003 They're small and they're blue. 186 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:31,015 So, you get one joke. Use it wisely. 187 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:33,108 You have 30 seconds. Go. 188 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,678 Ooh, um, Alex, your balls are so... No, no, no. 189 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,848 Prom night went wrong, so... Nah. 190 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,416 Okay, um... 191 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:45,163 I'm in the area of, um, uh, uh, Smurfette's chin. 192 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,930 Mmm-hmm. Something there. 193 00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:50,435 Um... Oh. Oh. Blue Man Group on Fire lsland. 194 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,470 Ten seconds. Ha, I've got it. 195 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:53,903 Little Boy Blue, go blow your... 196 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,133 Time. No! 197 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,132 All right, now, we play to 15 198 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:01,305 and, uh, you can't let the ball bounce twice. 199 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:03,575 I know. I looked this up on Wikipedia. 200 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,880 Hmm. (CHUCKLES) Okay. 201 00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,454 Okay, I'm ready. 202 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,385 Okay. 203 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,289 (GRUNTS) One-nothing. 204 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,959 That was fast. 205 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,299 Okay. Let's go. Let's go. 206 00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:26,663 All right. Okay. 207 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,536 Ready? Okay. Uh-huh. 208 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,209 (GRUNTS) 209 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,705 Two-nothing. The grunting is unnecessary, 210 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:35,906 and it's really echo-y in here. 211 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,244 All the good players do it. 212 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,681 No, I can see that. 213 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:43,044 (GRUNTS) I didn't know we were starting. 214 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:44,914 You served. 215 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,721 ALEX: 3-0. 216 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,086 4-0. 217 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,158 You can't kick it. 218 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,359 You can't catch it! 219 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,430 Oh! I hit it! 220 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,367 Ten-nothing. 221 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:03,703 I hit it. That's a point. 222 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,270 Okay, fine. 10-1. 223 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:08,602 That's still not close. 224 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,540 I'm coming back. 225 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,150 (GRUNTS) 11-1. 226 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,210 Okay. Fourteen. 227 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,082 (GRUNTS) 228 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:21,586 15-1. Game over. 229 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,422 Thanks. That was just as fun as I remember it. 230 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,690 I don't even need to take a shower. 231 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,423 Two out of three. Come on. 232 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,229 We've still got 56 minutes of court time. 233 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,530 Let's go. (DOOR CLOSES) 234 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,503 All right, I'll be here. 235 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,509 So, Roxanne, 236 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:40,641 who is this Rob guy that Alex keeps going on and on about? 237 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,647 Mmm. No. I'm looking to get out of the Rob business. 238 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:45,582 I mean, he asks too many questions. 239 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,677 What's your birthday? Where are you from? Why are you crying? 240 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,187 Who cares? 241 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,149 Yeah. You shouldn't have to take that, Roxanne. 242 00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,494 I'm telling you. I have a sixth sense about this. 243 00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:59,463 Plus, I googled him, and it came up, "No results found." 244 00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,932 So, clearly, he is not a person. 245 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,003 Google? You still rely on that? 246 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,596 Google is for amateurs. Trust me. 247 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:08,897 I've got a way we can find out 248 00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,135 the real deal about old Rob. 249 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:11,938 What are you doing? 250 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,672 (SlGHS) I could also just do a background check. 251 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,709 Hey, hey, Whit. Hi. 252 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,286 (GROANS) 253 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,517 Oh, God, Whit. You look like you're in pain. 254 00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,287 (SlGHS) I am. Stupid racquetball. 255 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,753 I feel like a porn star after horseback riding lessons. 256 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:31,854 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 257 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,489 Why would a porn star take riding lessons? 258 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:37,002 Aren't they busy having sex and regretting everything? 259 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,466 That wasn't a perfect metaphor, Neal. 260 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,807 Ooh, what about tantric sex? 261 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,341 We should try that. 262 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,671 Because it's lndian. (CLEARS THROAT) 263 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,440 Yeah, they talk about it in The Kama Sutra. 264 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:49,606 Mmm. Which is lndian. 265 00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:51,846 What's the point of that? 266 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,544 Who has sex and doesn't get to finish? 267 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,244 Women. 268 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:56,514 (LAUGHS) 269 00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,788 I don't know, Alex and l, we need to find something else to do 270 00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:03,158 now that this is off the table for a couple of days. 271 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,123 Oh, well, you said he likes Thai food, right? Mmm-hmm. 272 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,756 I'm doing a whole Thai thing for my blog, 273 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,232 so I need to review this place in Wicker Park. 274 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,359 I'll take you guys tonight. 275 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,097 Oh, yeah. I mean, I just feel like racquetball 276 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,638 was a little ambitious. You know? Yeah. 277 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,470 I feel like it's a sport for people in prison. 278 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,736 Hey, you know what you get 279 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,209 when you start a game of racquetball 280 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,267 and you don't get to finish? 281 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,880 I already did that. Blue balls. 282 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,040 (LAUGHS) Oh, man. 283 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,981 That's actually way better than what I was going to say. 284 00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:37,991 Lily, this isn't Thai. This is lndian. 285 00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,924 Well, lndia's very close to Thailand. 286 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,660 It's mostly the same spices and flavors. 287 00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:45,533 I'm not sure if that's racist or just true. 288 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:47,998 It's both. 289 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,902 Chef Kunchekanchekhar. Hello again. Hi. 290 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,176 Thanks, Mom. One snide comment, 291 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:56,806 and I'm stuck with Madonna in her most annoying phase. 292 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,281 (LAUGHS) 293 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,211 I'm sorry. Do you want to go somewhere else? 294 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:02,254 Come on, it's okay, Whit. You hate lndian food, too. 295 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,949 So, it really makes this sacrifice no less touching. 296 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,322 I do not hate lndian food. 297 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,419 I'm just not always in the mood for warm orange yogurt 298 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,794 that makes me sweat and cry. 299 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:16,260 Hey, he's giving us his best table. 300 00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,427 I think it's the sari. 301 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,402 No, I think he just feels sorry. 302 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,635 (SlGHS) So, uh, should we start with some samosas? 303 00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,173 Samosas. 304 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:31,107 Samosas? 305 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,445 Samosas. Samosas. 306 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:33,951 Samosas. Samosas. Samosas. Well, l... 307 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,043 Samosas. What am I saying? 308 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,884 Samosas. But it's okay. I knew what you meant. 309 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,555 So, what else looks good to people? 310 00:12:42,628 --> 00:12:43,993 Saag paneer. 311 00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:47,556 What? What's wrong? 312 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,534 Hon, you might want to dial down the intensity 313 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,968 on the whole lndian thing. 314 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,237 Oh, I'm being intense. I'm sorry. 315 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:56,706 I thought I was embracing your culture. 316 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,939 Lil, I'm from Ohio. 317 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,206 I'm not from lndia. 318 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,508 Neither am l. Your mom reminded me of that, 319 00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,071 Iike, three times during dinner. 320 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,453 I saw an albino dude on the train. 321 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:12,850 (MOUTHlNG) 322 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,486 Well, now, I feel silly. 323 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,426 I just want your mom to like me. 324 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,623 Babe, I appreciate what you're trying to do, 325 00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:22,166 but I don't care what my mom thinks. 326 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:24,736 My mom doesn't even like my dad 327 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,204 and he's way more lndian than you. 328 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,138 Oh, thank God. 329 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:30,300 Because I'm wrapped so tight in this thing, 330 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,742 I haven't peed since, like, 4:00. 331 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,040 Look, we don't have to have everything in common. See? 332 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:37,275 It's very sweet that you tried, 333 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:38,907 but you can't force these things. 334 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,975 I mean, you're not athletic. 335 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:42,350 And you know what? That's cool. 336 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:49,591 First of all, racquetball is a prank that somehow caught on. 337 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,790 Second, I'm very athletic. 338 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,333 Okay, I mean, come on. 339 00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:58,429 I played basketball. 340 00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,528 As a kid. 341 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:03,268 As a teen competitively in Europe. What? 342 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,435 (LAUGHlNG) Okay. 343 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:09,340 As a part of a traveling all-star team. 344 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,105 I'm sorry. What? 345 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,445 I can't tell if she's kidding. 346 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,678 Why have I not heard about this? 347 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,346 I told you about this, like, the first week we met. 348 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,014 I feel like ifyou were that good at something, 349 00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,990 I would definitely hear about it every single day. 350 00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:22,091 I think I'm going to need some proof about this. 351 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,651 Okay, great. Yeah. 352 00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,321 Holler. Name the day. 353 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,489 Tomorrow. 354 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,089 That's soon. 355 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,924 Okay. Bring it. 356 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:31,629 All right, I'm clearing the entire afternoon. 357 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,535 Great. Oh, you're not going to need to do that. 358 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,732 This will only take a minute. 359 00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,279 NEAL: Do that, do that. 360 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,679 LlLY: (CLAPPlNG) Yeah... NEAL: Yes! 361 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,643 (HlP HOP MUSlC PLAYlNG) 362 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,553 I love it! 363 00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:52,314 (ALL APPLAUDlNG) 364 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,521 (ALL CHEERlNG) Wow! 365 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,578 You want a few warm-up shots? Nope. Check it. 366 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,911 Whoa. Okay. Take it easy. 367 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,917 Okay. What? Oh, what? 368 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,551 What's the problem? What? Oh. 369 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,052 (ALL CHEERlNG) 370 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,422 2-0. 371 00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,017 Make it, take it. 372 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,356 Okay. So, that's how it's going to be, huh? 373 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,522 WHlTNEY: Mmm-hmm. All right. 374 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,256 (ALL CHEERlNG) 375 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,868 Five-nothing, bitch. 376 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,172 (CHEERlNG) 377 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:44,867 Okay. 378 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,370 Oh, my God, she's good. 379 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,470 (CHEERlNG) Go, Whitney. 380 00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:51,175 Go, Whitney. Hey! Hey! Go, Whitney. 381 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:52,683 It's just so unexpected. 382 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,810 Like the first time you see a monkey make an omelet. 383 00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,889 (ALL CHEERlNG) 384 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,361 (ALL CHEERlNG) Yeah! 385 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,025 (GRUNTS) 386 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,066 LlLY: No! NEAL: Oh! 387 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,031 (ALL CHEERlNG) 388 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,630 ALEX: Get your head in the game, Miller. Come on. 389 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:20,241 WHlTNEY: Oh, what? (ALEX GRUNTS) 390 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,504 (ALL CHEERlNG) 391 00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:23,878 Come on, traveling. You walked. 392 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,280 (SCOFFS) 12-4. 393 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:26,841 Oh, and do we need all the grunting? 394 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,045 It's just kind of echo-y in here. 395 00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,817 (GRUNTS) 396 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:36,388 Oh! All right. That was a foul. 397 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,929 That was all ball. Foul. That was a foul. 398 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,658 All ball! 399 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:40,923 Boop! Mmm. 400 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,735 (GRUNTS) Dang it. Come on. 401 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,040 Damn it. Damn it. (BLEEP) 402 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:50,834 Alex, take it easy. 403 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:54,106 I am taking it easy. This is me taking it easy. 404 00:16:57,049 --> 00:17:00,610 Hey, what would the funniest song to put under this be? 405 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:02,981 No, you know what? I'm going to write a little something. 406 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,818 (LAUGHS) (GASPS) Oh! 407 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,723 Still rolling. 408 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:11,322 Hi. 409 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:12,589 Hey. 410 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,191 (SlGHS) 411 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,833 You know, 412 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,400 I'm sorry l, uh... 413 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,807 I don't know what happened back there. 414 00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:29,606 Uh, you went insane. 415 00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,052 Yeah. I mean, that's what happened. 416 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,485 You know, when I was leaving, it looked like you were trying 417 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,957 to jam the ball into the rafters? 418 00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,687 Yeah, I was trying... That's what I was trying to do. 419 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:43,819 Did you end up doing it? Yeah, I got it up there. 420 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,796 It's all stuck. Yeah. Mmm-mmm. 421 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,992 This is very interesting. Among all the things I didn't know about you, 422 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,265 turns out you're also not the best loser. 423 00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:54,697 I didn't lose. 424 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,172 I just quit 425 00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,741 while you were winning. 426 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,113 It's all making sense to me now, though. 427 00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,081 I mean, I remember on our third date, 428 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,548 we went to play mini golf, 429 00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:08,780 and you jammed your putter into the clown's mouth. 430 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,014 Oh, yeah. 431 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,387 That... Well, it was mocking me. 432 00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,187 You know, maybe that's why I gave up all this stuff. 433 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,693 Everybody wanted to stop playing with me. 434 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,920 I'm just glad that I'm not the reason 435 00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:21,363 that you gave up all that stuff. 436 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,559 Oh, no. You're the reason 437 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,226 why I just got banned from the Y. 438 00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:27,095 Today was weird. 439 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,232 Like, I'm not used to being the calm, sane one. 440 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,368 Well, you know, that will all change really soon. 441 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:35,771 Hey, can I admit something to you? 442 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,240 Sure. 443 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:41,150 Uh, you know, watching you out there today, 444 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,313 pretty hot. 445 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:45,583 Really? 446 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:46,783 Yeah. 447 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,327 (CHUCKLES) No. 448 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:53,195 Uh, what do you say? You want to maybe go hit the showers? 449 00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,530 Oh, I actually don't need a shower. 450 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,229 I didn't really break a sweat. 451 00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,634 So, sorry. 452 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,603 (KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) 453 00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:05,665 Come in. 454 00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:08,008 A-ha! I knew it. 455 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,980 Rob is officially creepy. 456 00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:12,448 I ran a background check. 457 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,884 Turns out, he's an identity thief. 458 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:18,181 Pretty good one, too. He was just arrested for forging passports. 459 00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:19,481 Hmm. 460 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:20,786 (LAUGHS) Oh! 461 00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,520 That's why he was asking you so many questions. 462 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:27,228 Ah, no wonder he wanted to know my mom's maiden name. 463 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,792 And you thought I was crazy. 464 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,802 Sorry. I just... (SlGHS) 465 00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:32,962 Well, luckily, you didn't sleep with him. 466 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,472 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Yeah, right, so... 467 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,306 Roxanne. 468 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,568 (MUMBLlNG) 469 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,320 Let's do something we haven't done in a long time. 470 00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:57,628 Really? 471 00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,687 Oh, we're not doing that. Oh. 472 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,494 Do you want to talk dirty? 473 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,330 Uh, yeah. Yeah. You're... 474 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:04,699 Yeah, you're a bad girl. 475 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,237 Really? Hell, yeah. 476 00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,500 Mmm. How am l a bad girl? 477 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:12,476 Uh... Uh, you just... You do bad things. 478 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,944 Mmm. What kind of bad things? 479 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,840 Uh... You... 480 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:20,208 Uh, you didn't re-order the checks, 481 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,015 so we can't pay our bills on time. Yeah. 482 00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:26,154 Well, that doesn't make me a bad girl. 483 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,523 That just makes me a busy girl. 484 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,924 Yeah, but you're a busy girl who leaves peanut butter on the spoons 485 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,192 and puts them in the dishwasher. Yeah, bad girl. 486 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:38,669 Ooh. Yeah. Well, at least I don't put bowls on the bottom, 487 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,728 which blocks the water. 488 00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:44,942 Oh. Hey, you know what? It doesn't matter, actually, where you put the bowls 489 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,671 because we have jets on the top 490 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,509 and the bottom of the dishwasher. Oh, bad girl. 491 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:53,142 (LAUGHS) I think living together has kind of ruined this. 492 00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:55,846 Mmm? Yeah, we're so bad at this. Yeah. 493 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,713 We're so bad at this. Like, like this. 494 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,655 Just stop. Just... Please.