1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000
<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 23x05 ♪</font>
<font color="#00FFFF">The Food Wife</font>
Original Air Date on November 13, 2011

2
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== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

3
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And here's a marble for Lisa
for cleaning her room,

4
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and a marble for Bart
for not trashing Lisa's room.

5
00:00:12,914 --> 00:00:14,981
The jars are full,
so you've earned

6
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your Saturday Surprise Dad Day!

7
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,019
Yay!

8
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,422
This Saturday, from the dad who
brought you cemetery paintball

9
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and go-karts on real roads,

10
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,476
comes the greatest
activity yet...

11
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Video game convention!

12
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And check these out.

13
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VIP passes!

14
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,911
Is there any better feeling
than cutting in line

15
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because a plastic badge
says you're special?

16
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GTS!

17
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So many games.

18
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- Ah.
- Wow.

19
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,827
Whoa.

20
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W.O.K.?!

21
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Ooh, the Flying Tomato.

22
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Ah! TMTOLO!

23
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DL2L-to-D!

24
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Oh! ACSOL!

25
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,671
HC1?!

26
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Whoa! Guts of War Two:
Entrails of Intestinox!

27
00:01:17,929 --> 00:01:19,779
Colon slash!

28
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,564
Rectum kill!

29
00:01:21,632 --> 00:01:24,167
We've made a game that'll
reward the hardcore gamer

30
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with hundreds and hundreds
of hours of...

31
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- Finished it.
- Huh?

32
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But working on this game
cost me my marriage.

33
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I-I have twins
I've never met!

34
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Well, when you meet them,
tell them your game's too easy.

35
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This game has all the best
college marching bands.

36
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From the precision footwork
of Ohio State

37
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to the lame, dead-on-arrival
humor of Stanford.

38
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("Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)

39
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Uh-oh, I'm losing the crowd!

40
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Level cleared.

41
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Next level: study for chemistry
test on 12-hour bus ride home.

44
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Dad! Funtendo is unveiling their
new system in three minutes,

45
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in Hall G!

46
00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:16,436
And we're in Hall D.

47
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Three halls, three minutes.

48
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No problem.

49
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Out of my way! Move it!

50
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Geeks must yield to normals!

51
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Room's full.

52
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Hmm.

53
00:02:44,215 --> 00:02:45,899
Aha!

54
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Yay!

55
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:51,671
Woo-hoo!

56
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Conventions rock!

57
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Fun Dad rocks!

58
00:02:57,712 --> 00:02:59,312
I need a nap!

59
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You kids have had a big day.

60
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Head up to the tub
while I deflate your toys.

61
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,587
Save us, Fun Dad!

62
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:17,297
The kids sure had
a good time with you.

63
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,233
Yeah, I was on today.

64
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Scary on.

65
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How come they never call me
Fun Mom?

66
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Look, honey, a
family's like a team.

67
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And on every team, you have
the slam-dunking megastar

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and the referee.

69
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It's not fair.

70
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Moms want to be fun, but we're
stuck with all the mom stuff.

71
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Okay, okay, how about this:

72
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next week, you take the kids
on a Saturday Surprise Dad Day.

73
00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:47,377
What if...

74
00:03:47,445 --> 00:03:50,897
we roll pennies
and go to the dollar store?

75
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That's good, Marge!

76
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Get all the terrible
ideas out of your system.

77
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Oh.

78
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,922
I've got it!

79
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Your Saturday Surprise Mom Day
is the X-Games!

80
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Yay! X-Games! X-Games!

81
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All right!

82
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That isn't an "X," Mom.

83
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Welcome to the Cross Games,
Simpsons.

84
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A Christian fellowship expo!

85
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,156
Are there at least games here?

86
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,624
Oh, no, "games"
stands for

87
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Gathering of American Messengers
for Evangelical Sports.

88
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Sports?

89
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"Sports" stands for

90
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Strict Parental Oversight
Rather Than Sports.

91
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Come on, kids,
fun comes from inside.

92
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It isn't about
what we actually do.

93
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Yes, it is!

94
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That's all it is!

95
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You're right, you're right,
you're right.

96
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Let's go.

97
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Thank the Lord!

98
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,248
Two children
to play debtors

99
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in the Parable
of the Unjust Steward.

100
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All the other kids are at
something called the X-Games.

101
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I'm sorry, gang.

102
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I blew it.

103
00:04:56,313 --> 00:04:58,531
I hate it when
grown-ups call kids "gang."

104
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Don't worry about it, Mom.

105
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,002
Dad will take us on
a great outing next weekend.

106
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:11,144
Why do old squirrels always
crawl into <i>my</i> engine to die?

107
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,762
Oh.

108
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:15,882
Guess we'll be making an
unscheduled pit stop, gang.

109
00:05:15,933 --> 00:05:17,750
We're not a gang!
Gangs are cool!

110
00:05:20,955 --> 00:05:22,622
Uh, Mom, where are we?

111
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Nowhere scary.

112
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Everything's fine.

113
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,448
We'll just wait here
for the tow truck.

114
00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:35,785
That newborn
has earrings!

115
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Mom, we're hungry.

116
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Oh.

117
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I guess we could
make a sprint

118
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for one of these
local establishments.

119
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They're using pancakes
as spoons.

120
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Ooh, let's see
what else they do wrong.

121
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Ew!

122
00:06:08,961 --> 00:06:09,861
Ugh!

123
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They're selling CDs

124
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<i>in</i> the restaurant!

125
00:06:13,599 --> 00:06:14,782
Back to the car!

126
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:16,551
What can I get you?

127
00:06:16,619 --> 00:06:18,987
Oh, I'll just have
a side salad.

128
00:06:19,054 --> 00:06:20,989
We have no side salad.

129
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Back to the car!

130
00:06:22,224 --> 00:06:23,157
Relax, Mom.

131
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Be adventurous.

132
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,643
Yeah, just have fun.

133
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Dad would.

134
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What's the craziest thing
on the menu?

135
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She means
the most authentic.

136
00:06:34,253 --> 00:06:36,487
Well, that would be

137
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the Zelzel Minchet
Aletcha Wat.

138
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,792
Then I'll have that!

139
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,263
Okay, Marge,

140
00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:47,849
you test-drove a convertible
once; you can do this.

141
00:07:01,146 --> 00:07:03,481
Holy casserole-y!

142
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,882
That's good gloop!

143
00:07:07,086 --> 00:07:08,920
I wish I lived in Ethiopia!

144
00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:13,057
Exotic, végetarian,

145
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:15,193
I can mention it
in a college essay.

146
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,595
Mom, this
is amazing!

147
00:07:19,214 --> 00:07:21,449
Wait, wait, wait,
what is she eating?

148
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,084
They've never
served me that dish,

149
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:25,253
and I wear indigenous
beaded headgear.

150
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:26,587
Oh, this?

151
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,890
It's just a little
Zelzel Minchet Aletcha Wat.

152
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,325
It's all I ever eat here.

153
00:07:32,294 --> 00:07:36,130
They have prepared her a dish
from the non-translated page!

154
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,801
So grab a pancake
and slurp some slop!

155
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:42,170
Foodies,
heed my call!

156
00:07:42,237 --> 00:07:45,657
Commence ripping and dipping!

157
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:50,762
So, did all of your cars
break down?

158
00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:52,563
Mom, they're
here on purpose.

159
00:07:52,631 --> 00:07:54,032
They're foodies.

160
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,366
Indeed.

161
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,769
Our passion is to seek out
interesting foods,

162
00:07:57,836 --> 00:08:00,238
savor their exotic flavors,
then blog about them.

163
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,006
Yes.

164
00:08:02,074 --> 00:08:04,308
We discovered Korean barbeque
in this town.

165
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,778
Uh, before the Koreans?

166
00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:09,280
Oh, sure they cook it,
but they don't get it.

167
00:08:09,348 --> 00:08:13,484
"When you stick a pancake into a
friend's mouth, it's a goorsha."

168
00:08:13,552 --> 00:08:15,586
Everybody goorsha!

169
00:08:15,654 --> 00:08:17,388
Goorsha!

170
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,706
Goorsha! Goorsha! Goorsha! Goorsha!

171
00:08:18,791 --> 00:08:20,124
Goorsha! Goorsha!
Goorsha! Goorsha!

172
00:08:20,175 --> 00:08:21,259
Goorsha!

173
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,161
Marge, the kids
are acting ethnic!

174
00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:25,029
Relax, Homie.

175
00:08:25,097 --> 00:08:27,832
Have some leftover
Galalalalalalalalah.

176
00:08:30,853 --> 00:08:32,186
Oh, no.

177
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:35,723
I don't eat anything new
unless I've eaten it before.

178
00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:37,658
Aw, come on, Dad,
be a foodie.

179
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,343
You're already
a fatty and a drunkie.

180
00:08:39,411 --> 00:08:42,313
I don't want to think about
food, I want to like it.

181
00:08:42,381 --> 00:08:47,018
Why drive across town
to savor a bowl of mystery mush

182
00:08:47,086 --> 00:08:49,220
when there's four different
Krusty Burgers

183
00:08:49,288 --> 00:08:51,489
we can see from our house?

184
00:08:51,557 --> 00:08:55,259
Oh, and here's my favorite
restaurant: La Fridge.

185
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,730
It's open 24 hours a day
and there's no dress code.

186
00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:04,385
What kind of American man

187
00:09:04,453 --> 00:09:06,704
doesn't want to explore
global food culture?

188
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,656
And then brag about
it on the Internet.

189
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:11,125
We should start
our own food blog.

190
00:09:12,161 --> 00:09:14,962
The Three Mouthketeers.

191
00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:16,297
Three?

192
00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:19,217
You mean, one, two... me?

193
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:31,946
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪

194
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:36,667
♪ Marge and Bart and Lisa
as one now ♪

195
00:09:36,735 --> 00:09:40,237
♪ We're having fun now ♪

196
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,839
♪ Throwing down
mad foodie game ♪

197
00:09:41,907 --> 00:09:43,708
♪ Knowing all the chefs' names ♪

198
00:09:43,776 --> 00:09:45,042
♪ Rolling into K-town ♪

199
00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:46,577
♪ Bibimbap and bulgogi ♪

200
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:47,929
♪ The hotties
that I chill with ♪

201
00:09:47,996 --> 00:09:49,263
♪ Sriracha and kimchi ♪

202
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:50,648
♪ Give me house-made terrines ♪

203
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,216
♪ My duck is always confit ♪

204
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:54,735
♪ I braise with a billion more
BTUs than I need ♪

205
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,271
♪ Cook Thanksgiving turkey
in a trash bag, sous-vide ♪

206
00:09:57,356 --> 00:10:00,458
♪ A fumatore in Brindisi
FedEx me salami ♪

207
00:10:00,526 --> 00:10:03,211
♪ Don't scoop gelato
unless it's got umami ♪

208
00:10:03,278 --> 00:10:05,980
♪ I'll be frank like Bruni,
ruthless like Reichl ♪

209
00:10:06,048 --> 00:10:08,649
♪ Wiley like Dufresne
when I take the mic out ♪

210
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,017
♪ Rhyme about radicchio ♪

211
00:10:10,085 --> 00:10:11,302
♪ Criticize Colicchio ♪

212
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:12,570
♪ Every pub is gastro ♪

213
00:10:12,638 --> 00:10:14,155
♪ All my beef carpaccio ♪

214
00:10:14,223 --> 00:10:15,523
♪ Throw it in the pho, yo ♪

215
00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:17,107
♪ And don't you
call that pho pho ♪

216
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,127
♪ Talk about broth-squirting
dumplings ♪

217
00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:20,778
♪ Dumplings,
dumplings, dumplings ♪

218
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:25,216
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪

219
00:10:25,284 --> 00:10:27,752
♪ Uploading pics with ♪

220
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:31,856
♪ Our Fun Mom, Fun Mom,
Fun Mom. ♪

221
00:10:35,444 --> 00:10:37,111
People are loving
our list

222
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,897
of Springfield's top 99
Afghan restaurants.

223
00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:42,834
I feel bad for all those places
that didn't make the cut.

224
00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:45,937
All right, food
nerds, reality check.

225
00:10:46,004 --> 00:10:48,940
All the food in those
pictures is poop by now.

226
00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:52,076
Minds blown,
you're welcome.

227
00:10:52,144 --> 00:10:53,644
Oh.

228
00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:56,180
I'll remind you kids
what real fun is.

229
00:10:56,248 --> 00:10:57,682
Hey, hey, kids!

230
00:10:59,084 --> 00:11:00,651
Krustyland has a new ride.

231
00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:02,353
The Eyeballs of Death.

232
00:11:02,421 --> 00:11:05,323
It only passed the safety panel
by a three-to-two vote.

233
00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:07,325
And that third vote
didn't come cheap.

234
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,461
And I've got tickets

235
00:11:10,529 --> 00:11:12,430
for the grand opening
Saturday night.

236
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,599
Whoa!
Cool.

237
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:16,551
Uh, kids,
don't forget

238
00:11:16,618 --> 00:11:18,886
about our special plans
Saturday night.

239
00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:20,788
Oh, sorry, Dad.

240
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:22,990
Our blog is so popular,
we got an invitation

241
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,560
to the most exclusive
restaurant in town.

242
00:11:25,627 --> 00:11:28,095
Kent Brockman himself
could only get

243
00:11:28,163 --> 00:11:30,998
a reservation at 5:30 or 9:30.

244
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,601
It's called
El Chemistri,

245
00:11:33,669 --> 00:11:35,870
and they use science
to make the food.

246
00:11:38,574 --> 00:11:41,058
Behold... pine needle sorbet.

247
00:11:43,962 --> 00:11:46,297
Pine needle... sorbet?

248
00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,966
Pine needle sorbet?

249
00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:52,603
My kids do not eat sorbet;
they eat sherbet.

250
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,238
And they pronounce
it "sherbert,"

251
00:11:54,306 --> 00:11:55,973
and they wish it
was ice cream.

252
00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:58,409
Sorry, Dad, this
is our thing now.

253
00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:00,378
Fine, blow off Fun Dad

254
00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:03,814
and go eat your walrus mustaches
and deep-fried pixie wings.

255
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:09,453
Don't be so jealous, Homie,
just because the kids

256
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,039
are finally having fun
doing something with me.

257
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:14,442
Aah! Jealous? Me?

258
00:12:16,144 --> 00:12:18,112
That is to laugh.

259
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,014
The very idea.

260
00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:24,385
If anything...

261
00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:26,687
you're the one who's jealous.
Of what?

262
00:12:26,755 --> 00:12:29,590
Of how much fun
I am to be around!

263
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:36,213
It's always a party
with Fun Dad!

264
00:12:41,453 --> 00:12:44,188
Too sad to walk.

265
00:12:44,256 --> 00:12:48,059
Too sad and fun to walk.

266
00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:55,832
What are you doing?

267
00:12:55,833 --> 00:12:58,835
When I'm sad, I make
baseball bats.

268
00:13:00,162 --> 00:13:02,862
Homie, I don't want you
to feel excluded.

269
00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:04,548
Would you like
to come with us

270
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:06,049
to dinner
at El Chemistri?

271
00:13:06,117 --> 00:13:07,751
Really?

272
00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:09,887
You'd let me in
on your thing?

273
00:13:09,954 --> 00:13:12,322
Even though I think
it's stupid?

274
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,007
Of course.

275
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:15,242
Hand me that
saw, Marge.

276
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:16,543
Why?

277
00:13:16,611 --> 00:13:18,478
When I'm happy,
I make birdhouses.

278
00:13:18,546 --> 00:13:20,047
Kids, guess what.

279
00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:21,915
Mom invited me
to your fancy dinner.

280
00:13:21,983 --> 00:13:23,283
Cool.
Awesome!

281
00:13:23,351 --> 00:13:25,869
I guess Fun Dad
is a foodie now.

282
00:13:25,937 --> 00:13:28,388
Food Dad! Food Dad! Food Dad!

283
00:13:34,479 --> 00:13:36,713
I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain.

284
00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:39,283
There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,

285
00:13:39,367 --> 00:13:41,084
as long as I'm paid in emeralds

286
00:13:41,169 --> 00:13:43,720
and my hotel room has a bidet
that shoots warm champagne.

287
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:45,622
I'm here at a Singapore
street-food market

288
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,692
with famous blogging family,
the Three Mouthketeers.

289
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:52,062
Marge, you've got to try
some of this hang hir kuay chap.

290
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:55,198
Ooh, triple spicy
barbecued stingray

291
00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:57,367
stuffed with
pig organs.

292
00:13:57,435 --> 00:13:59,469
Fun Dad
is a foodie now!

293
00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:05,509
This is my thing
and always will be.

294
00:14:08,663 --> 00:14:11,698
Food Dad! Food Dad!
Food Dad!

295
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,571
Everything's more fun
with Homer.

296
00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:31,001
But this was all I had.

297
00:14:31,069 --> 00:14:33,470
Stop your bloody whinging, Marge.

298
00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:35,389
Aah! Gordon Ramsay!

299
00:14:35,456 --> 00:14:37,524
You (bleep) it up,
big blue, didn't you?

300
00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:38,892
Why did you
invite Homer?

301
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,727
He stole your
bloody thunder.

302
00:14:40,795 --> 00:14:42,629
You're not as
fun as him,

303
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,130
and you never will be.

304
00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:47,167
Darling, darling,
crying's not fun.

305
00:14:47,235 --> 00:14:48,702
Homer's fun.

306
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:49,936
Now, get out
of my dream.

307
00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,188
It's my dream.

308
00:14:51,255 --> 00:14:52,489
Not anymore it's not.

309
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:53,690
Ramsay, awake.

310
00:14:53,758 --> 00:14:56,443
What in the hell was that?

311
00:14:59,414 --> 00:15:02,799
Fun me. Fun me. Fun me.

312
00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:05,569
Kids, I was thinking, was
it really such a great idea

313
00:15:05,637 --> 00:15:07,371
to invite your father
to that dinner?

314
00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,806
Relax-- Dad will be
the life of the party.

315
00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:11,975
He'll be the fourth
Mouthketeer.

316
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:14,645
But there weren't
four Musketeers.

317
00:15:14,712 --> 00:15:18,515
Yeah-huh. Athos, Porthos,
Aramis and D'Artagnan.

318
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:21,151
D'Artagnan wasn't
a Musketeer.

319
00:15:21,219 --> 00:15:23,253
He only had a letter
of introduction

320
00:15:23,321 --> 00:15:26,757
to the captain of the guards--
which he lost!

321
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:29,059
You know, I'm pretty excited

322
00:15:29,127 --> 00:15:30,160
about this far-out dinner.

323
00:15:30,228 --> 00:15:31,261
Maybe I'll like it.

324
00:15:31,329 --> 00:15:32,596
Oh, I doubt it.

325
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:35,365
You sit at communal tables
full of hipsters.

326
00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:37,034
Well, actually,
I've come around on hipsters.

327
00:15:37,101 --> 00:15:39,569
Takes a lot of guts
to all wear the same hat.

328
00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:41,972
And the food will all
be weird foams--

329
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,408
cooked with chemicals
or served in a test tube.

330
00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:46,109
It's too crazy for you.

331
00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:47,277
So it's weird.

332
00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:48,912
Don't worry, I'll make it fun.

333
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:51,048
Yeah, you always do.

334
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:53,316
Well, here's where to meet us.

335
00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:56,153
1501 W...

336
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,689
East Oak Street.

337
00:15:58,756 --> 00:16:00,657
East Oak Street.
Is that it?

338
00:16:00,725 --> 00:16:02,225
Uh... yes.

339
00:16:02,293 --> 00:16:03,860
Yes, East Oak Street.

340
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,328
That's where you should go.

341
00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:06,797
See you there.

342
00:16:06,864 --> 00:16:09,566
Don't you judge me.

343
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:12,202
Ah, save it for
the sitter.

344
00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:15,906
Welcome
to El Chemistri.

345
00:16:15,973 --> 00:16:18,108
Please place these mints
in your mouth,

346
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:20,877
and when your table is ready,
they will vibrate.

347
00:16:22,346 --> 00:16:23,947
Ooh.

348
00:16:29,036 --> 00:16:31,421
Here it is: 1501 East Oak.

349
00:16:31,489 --> 00:16:33,957
No name on the door--
very trendy.

350
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:36,993
What do you want?

351
00:16:37,061 --> 00:16:38,628
Is this the chemical
kitchen place

352
00:16:38,696 --> 00:16:39,896
where you do the
crazy cooking?

353
00:16:39,964 --> 00:16:41,364
Quiet, man.

354
00:16:41,432 --> 00:16:43,533
The experience begins.

355
00:16:45,069 --> 00:16:46,536
Where's Dad?

356
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,472
Uh...
I don't know.

357
00:16:48,539 --> 00:16:50,373
Probably
changed his mind

358
00:16:50,441 --> 00:16:52,275
and stopped off
for doughnuts.

359
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:56,696
Before you

360
00:16:56,764 --> 00:16:58,899
is a deconstructed
Caesar salad:

361
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:01,735
romaine lettuce gel,
egg yolk ice,

362
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:04,371
crouton foam
and anchovy air.

363
00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:05,806
You eat it like this:

364
00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:08,625
gel, ice, foam, air,
foam, ice, gel, foam, air.

365
00:17:11,879 --> 00:17:14,815
Just like Marge said--
chemicals and test tubes.

366
00:17:14,882 --> 00:17:16,683
The open kitchen
is a nice touch.

367
00:17:16,751 --> 00:17:19,118
I guess I'll get started
before my family gets here.

368
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:20,520
How much for a taste?

369
00:17:20,588 --> 00:17:21,922
You know,
just to get me going.

370
00:17:21,989 --> 00:17:23,023
50 bucks.

371
00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:26,092
Ouch. This place is fancy.

372
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,961
The next course is Regret.

373
00:17:39,373 --> 00:17:40,574
Hipsters.

374
00:17:40,641 --> 00:17:42,409
Too cool for school.

375
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:44,644
You don't look like the
kind of guy who does this.

376
00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:46,863
Well, my wife thinks
it's too crazy for me,

377
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,999
but I'm going
to prove her wrong.

378
00:17:50,334 --> 00:17:51,985
I'm doing this
for my family.

379
00:18:00,357 --> 00:18:03,042
All right, Breaking Baddies,
drop the meth.

380
00:18:04,945 --> 00:18:06,529
Pick up the meth!
Pick up the meth!

381
00:18:07,898 --> 00:18:09,699
This better be dinner theater!

382
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:12,435
And now,
pork chops 100 ways.

383
00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:13,736
Ooh.

384
00:18:16,774 --> 00:18:18,508
100 pork chops!

385
00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:20,944
I can't believe Dad
is missing this.

386
00:18:21,011 --> 00:18:24,097
Sure, your dad's great,
but I'm fun, too.

387
00:18:24,181 --> 00:18:25,598
Look at me eat, huh?

388
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:28,234
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.

389
00:18:30,037 --> 00:18:31,271
Who am I kidding?

390
00:18:31,338 --> 00:18:32,872
I'm not enjoying this.

391
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,141
Even the foam
tastes like nothing.

392
00:18:35,209 --> 00:18:36,860
I'm calling Homer.

393
00:18:38,262 --> 00:18:39,295
Marge!

394
00:18:39,363 --> 00:18:40,797
This isn't a food restaurant!

395
00:18:40,865 --> 00:18:43,166
It's a meth restaurant!

396
00:18:43,234 --> 00:18:45,335
A meth-taurant! Aah!

397
00:18:45,402 --> 00:18:47,871
Foodies, help me!

398
00:18:47,938 --> 00:18:49,305
My husband's in danger!

399
00:18:49,373 --> 00:18:50,773
Oh, we can't leave now.

400
00:18:50,841 --> 00:18:52,575
We haven't had
the root vegetables

401
00:18:52,643 --> 00:18:54,944
cooked in the perfect vacuum
of outer space.

402
00:18:55,012 --> 00:18:57,447
They say you can't even
understand parsnips

403
00:18:57,515 --> 00:18:59,682
until you had
zero-g parsnips.

404
00:19:01,502 --> 00:19:03,670
How dare you
walk out on me!

405
00:19:03,754 --> 00:19:06,055
Your dessert is in
this doggie bag

406
00:19:06,123 --> 00:19:09,242
woven from the silk of
a blueberry-fed spider.

407
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,377
Take it and go!

408
00:19:13,681 --> 00:19:14,848
Ah, shucks.

409
00:19:14,915 --> 00:19:16,950
We get the family
dressed up to go

410
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:19,419
to our favorite meth lab,
and it's all raided out.

411
00:19:21,255 --> 00:19:22,989
Oh, honey,
I always liked

412
00:19:23,057 --> 00:19:25,325
your home-cooked
better anyways.

413
00:19:25,392 --> 00:19:26,759
Aw.

414
00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:29,028
Uh, where do you
think you're going?

415
00:19:29,096 --> 00:19:31,831
A wife needs to tell her
husband she was wrong.

416
00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:34,133
And in you go.

417
00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:37,537
Sorry.

418
00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:40,290
Everything you've done
here has created problems.

419
00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:46,162
I've got to save him.

420
00:19:46,213 --> 00:19:47,797
Ooh.

421
00:19:47,848 --> 00:19:48,848
My dessert.

422
00:19:50,234 --> 00:19:52,602
Eat deconstructed apple pie!

423
00:20:02,446 --> 00:20:05,882
<i>Merci, Maman,</i>
<i>pour la tarte tatin à la mode.</i>

424
00:20:15,643 --> 00:20:17,944
Oh, Marge,
you saved me

425
00:20:18,012 --> 00:20:20,113
from the danger
you put me in.

426
00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:22,649
I am so happy
and angry.

427
00:20:22,716 --> 00:20:24,517
I'm sorry.

428
00:20:24,585 --> 00:20:26,019
I guess I just
wanted the kids

429
00:20:26,086 --> 00:20:27,987
to look at me the way
they look at you.

430
00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:29,188
Aw.

431
00:20:29,256 --> 00:20:31,457
Wow, Mom!
That was awesome.

432
00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:33,493
We ate
mad-scientist food

433
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,929
and broke up a meth lab
in the same day.

434
00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:37,897
Fun Mom! Fun Mom!

435
00:20:37,965 --> 00:20:39,799
Fun Mom!

436
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,338
Now, that's my kind
of foam.

437
00:20:45,406 --> 00:20:47,407
This is nice.

438
00:20:47,474 --> 00:20:49,442
A family fun day.

439
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:50,677
Here's 50 bucks.

440
00:20:50,744 --> 00:20:52,078
For the next
two hours,

441
00:20:52,146 --> 00:20:53,696
I don't want
to know you exist.

442
00:20:55,065 --> 00:20:57,700
Family fun day.

443
00:20:57,751 --> 00:21:01,751
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

444
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:16,285
♪ We're bloggin' a food blog ♪

445
00:21:16,353 --> 00:21:20,223
♪ Settin' up accounts
for our users ♪

446
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:23,226
♪ Usin' computers ♪

447
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:25,328
♪ Post tweets every day ♪

448
00:21:25,396 --> 00:21:27,230
♪ Yo, yo,
tweets every day, y'all ♪

449
00:21:27,297 --> 00:21:29,332
♪ Never give it four stars ♪

450
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,234
♪ Ain't never give it
four stars ♪

451
00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:33,236
♪ Maybe two, maybe three ♪

452
00:21:33,303 --> 00:21:38,341
♪ Moderatin' the comments ♪

453
00:21:38,409 --> 00:21:43,246
♪ Checkin' the page views,
page views, page views ♪

454
00:21:43,313 --> 00:21:45,181
♪ Duck fat ♪

455
00:21:45,249 --> 00:21:47,050
♪ Truffle oil, yo, yo, yo ♪

456
00:21:47,117 --> 00:21:49,986
♪ My food is art,
my food is art ♪

457
00:21:50,054 --> 00:21:51,721
♪ It comes
right from the heart. ♪

458
00:21:52,923 --> 00:21:54,757
Shh!

