1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,900
<font color="#00FF00">♪ The Simpsons 23x05 ♪</font>
<font color="#00FFFF">The Food Wife</font>
Original Air Date on November 13, 2011

2
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== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

3
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And here's a marble for Lisa
for cleaning her room,

4
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and a marble for Bart
for not trashing Lisa's room.

5
00:00:12,699 --> 00:00:14,766
The jars are full,
so you've earned

6
00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:17,302
your Saturday Surprise Dad Day!

7
00:00:17,370 --> 00:00:18,804
Yay!

8
00:00:18,871 --> 00:00:22,207
This Saturday, from the dad who
brought you cemetery paintball

9
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and go-karts on real roads,

10
00:00:24,177 --> 00:00:26,261
comes the greatest
activity yet...

11
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Video game convention!

12
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And check these out.

13
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VIP passes!

14
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:44,696
Is there any better feeling
than cutting in line

15
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because a plastic badge
says you're special?

16
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GTS!

17
00:00:55,742 --> 00:00:57,175
So many games.

18
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- Ah.
- Wow.

19
00:00:59,078 --> 00:01:00,612
Whoa.

20
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,414
W.O.K.?!

21
00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:04,783
Ooh, the Flying Tomato.

22
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Ah! TMTOLO!

23
00:01:06,886 --> 00:01:08,420
DL2L-to-D!

24
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Oh! ACSOL!

25
00:01:10,289 --> 00:01:11,456
HC1?!

26
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Whoa! Guts of War Two:
Entrails of Intestinox!

27
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Colon slash!

28
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Rectum kill!

29
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We've made a game that'll
reward the hardcore gamer

30
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with hundreds and hundreds
of hours of...

31
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- Finished it.
- Huh?

32
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But working on this game
cost me my marriage.

33
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I-I have twins
I've never met!

34
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Well, when you meet them,
tell them your game's too easy.

35
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This game has all the best
college marching bands.

36
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From the precision footwork
of Ohio State

37
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to the lame, dead-on-arrival
humor of Stanford.

38
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("Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)

39
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Uh-oh, I'm losing the crowd!

40
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Level cleared.

41
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Next level: study for chemistry
test on 12-hour bus ride home.

44
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Dad! Funtendo is unveiling their
new system in three minutes,

45
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in Hall G!

46
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And we're in Hall D.

47
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Three halls, three minutes.

48
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No problem.

49
00:02:25,815 --> 00:02:27,466
Out of my way! Move it!

50
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Geeks must yield to normals!

51
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Room's full.

52
00:02:42,899 --> 00:02:43,932
Hmm.

53
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Aha!

54
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Yay!

55
00:02:50,523 --> 00:02:51,456
Woo-hoo!

56
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Conventions rock!

57
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Fun Dad rocks!

58
00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,097
I need a nap!

59
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:02,734
You kids have had a big day.

60
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Head up to the tub
while I deflate your toys.

61
00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:07,372
Save us, Fun Dad!

62
00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:17,082
The kids sure had
a good time with you.

63
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Yeah, I was on today.

64
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Scary on.

65
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How come they never call me
Fun Mom?

66
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Look, honey, a
family's like a team.

67
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And on every team, you have
the slam-dunking megastar

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and the referee.

69
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It's not fair.

70
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Moms want to be fun, but we're
stuck with all the mom stuff.

71
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Okay, okay, how about this:

72
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next week, you take the kids
on a Saturday Surprise Dad Day.

73
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What if...

74
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:50,682
we roll pennies
and go to the dollar store?

75
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That's good, Marge!

76
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Get all the terrible
ideas out of your system.

77
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Oh.

78
00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:58,707
I've got it!

79
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Your Saturday Surprise Mom Day
is the X-Games!

80
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Yay! X-Games! X-Games!

81
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All right!

82
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That isn't an "X," Mom.

83
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Welcome to the Cross Games,
Simpsons.

84
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A Christian fellowship expo!

85
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Are there at least games here?

86
00:04:16,008 --> 00:04:17,409
Oh, no, "games"
stands for

87
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Gathering of American Messengers
for Evangelical Sports.

88
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Sports?

89
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"Sports" stands for

90
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Strict Parental Oversight
Rather Than Sports.

91
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Come on, kids,
fun comes from inside.

92
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It isn't about
what we actually do.

93
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Yes, it is!

94
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That's all it is!

95
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You're right, you're right,
you're right.

96
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Let's go.

97
00:04:38,864 --> 00:04:40,231
Thank the Lord!

98
00:04:40,299 --> 00:04:42,033
Two children
to play debtors

99
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in the Parable
of the Unjust Steward.

100
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All the other kids are at
something called the X-Games.

101
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I'm sorry, gang.

102
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I blew it.

103
00:04:56,098 --> 00:04:58,316
I hate it when
grown-ups call kids "gang."

104
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Don't worry about it, Mom.

105
00:05:00,319 --> 00:05:02,787
Dad will take us on
a great outing next weekend.

106
00:05:06,876 --> 00:05:10,929
Why do old squirrels always
crawl into <i>my</i> engine to die?

107
00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:12,547
Oh.

108
00:05:12,615 --> 00:05:15,667
Guess we'll be making an
unscheduled pit stop, gang.

109
00:05:15,718 --> 00:05:17,535
We're not a gang!
Gangs are cool!

110
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:22,407
Uh, Mom, where are we?

111
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Nowhere scary.

112
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Everything's fine.

113
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We'll just wait here
for the tow truck.

114
00:05:34,203 --> 00:05:35,570
That newborn
has earrings!

115
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Mom, we're hungry.

116
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Oh.

117
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I guess we could
make a sprint

118
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for one of these
local establishments.

119
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They're using pancakes
as spoons.

120
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Ooh, let's see
what else they do wrong.

121
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Ew!

122
00:06:08,837 --> 00:06:09,737
Ugh!

123
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They're selling CDs

124
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<i>in</i> the restaurant!

125
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Back to the car!

126
00:06:14,726 --> 00:06:16,427
What can I get you?

127
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Oh, I'll just have
a side salad.

128
00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:20,865
We have no side salad.

129
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Back to the car!

130
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,033
Relax, Mom.

131
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Be adventurous.

132
00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:25,519
Yeah, just have fun.

133
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Dad would.

134
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What's the craziest thing
on the menu?

135
00:06:31,877 --> 00:06:34,061
She means
the most authentic.

136
00:06:34,129 --> 00:06:36,363
Well, that would be

137
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the Zelzel Minchet
Aletcha Wat.

138
00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:40,668
Then I'll have that!

139
00:06:43,738 --> 00:06:45,139
Okay, Marge,

140
00:06:45,207 --> 00:06:47,725
you test-drove a convertible
once; you can do this.

141
00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:03,357
Holy casserole-y!

142
00:07:03,425 --> 00:07:04,758
That's good gloop!

143
00:07:06,962 --> 00:07:08,796
I wish I lived in Ethiopia!

144
00:07:10,999 --> 00:07:12,933
Exotic, vegetarian,

145
00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:15,069
I can mention it
in a college essay.

146
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:17,471
Mom, this
is amazing!

147
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,325
Wait, wait, wait,
what is she eating?

148
00:07:21,393 --> 00:07:22,960
They've never
served me that dish,

149
00:07:23,028 --> 00:07:25,129
and I wear indigenous
beaded headgear.

150
00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:26,463
Oh, this?

151
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:28,766
It's just a little
Zelzel Minchet Aletcha Wat.

152
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:30,201
It's all I ever eat here.

153
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:36,006
They have prepared her a dish
from the non-translated page!

154
00:07:37,576 --> 00:07:39,677
So grab a pancake
and slurp some slop!

155
00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:42,046
Foodies,
heed my call!

156
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:45,533
Commence ripping and dipping!

157
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:50,638
So, did all of your cars
break down?

158
00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:52,439
Mom, they're
here on purpose.

159
00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:53,908
They're foodies.

160
00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:55,242
Indeed.

161
00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:57,645
Our passion is to seek out
interesting foods,

162
00:07:57,712 --> 00:08:00,114
savor their exotic flavors,
then blog about them.

163
00:08:00,181 --> 00:08:01,882
Yes.

164
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:04,184
We discovered Korean barbeque
in this town.

165
00:08:04,252 --> 00:08:06,654
Uh, before the Koreans?

166
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:09,156
Oh, sure they cook it,
but they don't get it.

167
00:08:09,224 --> 00:08:13,360
"When you stick a pancake into a
friend's mouth, it's a goorsha."

168
00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:15,462
Everybody goorsha!

169
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,264
Goorsha!

170
00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:18,582
Goorsha! Goorsha! Goorsha! Goorsha!

171
00:08:18,667 --> 00:08:20,000
Goorsha! Goorsha!
Goorsha! Goorsha!

172
00:08:20,051 --> 00:08:21,135
Goorsha!

173
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:23,037
Marge, the kids
are acting ethnic!

174
00:08:23,104 --> 00:08:24,905
Relax, Homie.

175
00:08:24,973 --> 00:08:27,708
Have some leftover
Galalalalalalalalah.

176
00:08:30,729 --> 00:08:32,062
Oh, no.

177
00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:35,599
I don't eat anything new
unless I've eaten it before.

178
00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,534
Aw, come on, Dad,
be a foodie.

179
00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:39,219
You're already
a fatty and a drunkie.

180
00:08:39,287 --> 00:08:42,189
I don't want to think about
food, I want to like it.

181
00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:46,894
Why drive across town
to savor a bowl of mystery mush

182
00:08:46,962 --> 00:08:49,096
when there's four different
Krusty Burgers

183
00:08:49,164 --> 00:08:51,365
we can see from our house?

184
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:55,135
Oh, and here's my favorite
restaurant: La Fridge.

185
00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,606
It's open 24 hours a day
and there's no dress code.

186
00:09:02,928 --> 00:09:04,261
What kind of American man

187
00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:06,580
doesn't want to explore
global food culture?

188
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,532
And then brag about
it on the Internet.

189
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,001
We should start
our own food blog.

190
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,838
The Three Mouthketeers.

191
00:09:14,906 --> 00:09:16,173
Three?

192
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:19,093
You mean, one, two... me?

193
00:09:27,736 --> 00:09:31,822
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪

194
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:36,543
♪ Marge and Bart and Lisa
as one now ♪

195
00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:40,113
♪ We're having fun now ♪

196
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:41,715
♪ Throwing down
mad foodie game ♪

197
00:09:41,783 --> 00:09:43,584
♪ Knowing all the chefs' names ♪

198
00:09:43,652 --> 00:09:44,918
♪ Rolling into K-town ♪

199
00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:46,453
♪ Bibimbap and bulgogi ♪

200
00:09:46,521 --> 00:09:47,805
♪ The hotties
that I chill with ♪

201
00:09:47,872 --> 00:09:49,139
♪ Sriracha and kimchi ♪

202
00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:50,524
♪ Give me house-made terrines ♪

203
00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:52,092
♪ My duck is always confit ♪

204
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,611
♪ I braise with a billion more
BTUs than I need ♪

205
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,147
♪ Cook Thanksgiving turkey
in a trash bag, sous-vide ♪

206
00:09:57,232 --> 00:10:00,334
♪ A fumatore in Brindisi
FedEx me salami ♪

207
00:10:00,402 --> 00:10:03,087
♪ Don't scoop gelato
unless it's got umami ♪

208
00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:05,856
♪ I'll be frank like Bruni,
ruthless like Reichl ♪

209
00:10:05,924 --> 00:10:08,525
♪ Wiley like Dufresne
when I take the mic out ♪

210
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:09,893
♪ Rhyme about radicchio ♪

211
00:10:09,961 --> 00:10:11,178
♪ Criticize Colicchio ♪

212
00:10:11,246 --> 00:10:12,446
♪ Every pub is gastro ♪

213
00:10:12,514 --> 00:10:14,031
♪ All my beef carpaccio ♪

214
00:10:14,099 --> 00:10:15,399
♪ Throw it in the pho, yo ♪

215
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,983
♪ And don't you
call that pho pho ♪

216
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:19,003
♪ Talk about broth-squirting
dumplings ♪

217
00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,654
♪ Dumplings,
dumplings, dumplings ♪

218
00:10:20,705 --> 00:10:25,092
♪ We're blogging a food blog ♪

219
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,628
♪ Uploading pics with ♪

220
00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:31,732
♪ Our Fun Mom, Fun Mom,
Fun Mom. ♪

221
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,987
People are loving
our list

222
00:10:37,055 --> 00:10:39,773
of Springfield's top 99
Afghan restaurants.

223
00:10:39,841 --> 00:10:42,710
I feel bad for all those places
that didn't make the cut.

224
00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:45,813
All right, food
nerds, reality check.

225
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,816
All the food in those
pictures is poop by now.

226
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:51,952
Minds blown,
you're welcome.

227
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:53,520
Oh.

228
00:10:53,588 --> 00:10:56,056
I'll remind you kids
what real fun is.

229
00:10:56,124 --> 00:10:57,558
Hey, hey, kids!

230
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,527
Krustyland has a new ride.

231
00:11:00,595 --> 00:11:02,229
The Eyeballs of Death.

232
00:11:02,297 --> 00:11:05,199
It only passed the safety panel
by a three-to-two vote.

233
00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:07,201
And that third vote
didn't come cheap.

234
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,337
And I've got tickets

235
00:11:10,405 --> 00:11:12,306
for the grand opening
Saturday night.

236
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:14,475
Whoa!
Cool.

237
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,427
Uh, kids,
don't forget

238
00:11:16,494 --> 00:11:18,762
about our special plans
Saturday night.

239
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,664
Oh, sorry, Dad.

240
00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,866
Our blog is so popular,
we got an invitation

241
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:25,436
to the most exclusive
restaurant in town.

242
00:11:25,503 --> 00:11:27,971
Kent Brockman himself
could only get

243
00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:30,874
a reservation at 5:30 or 9:30.

244
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,477
It's called
El Chemistri,

245
00:11:33,545 --> 00:11:35,746
and they use science
to make the food.

246
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,934
Behold... pine needle sorbet.

247
00:11:43,838 --> 00:11:46,173
Pine needle... sorbet?

248
00:11:46,241 --> 00:11:48,842
Pine needle sorbet?

249
00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:52,479
My kids do not eat sorbet;
they eat sherbet.

250
00:11:52,547 --> 00:11:54,114
And they pronounce
it "sherbert,"

251
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:55,849
and they wish it
was ice cream.

252
00:11:55,917 --> 00:11:58,285
Sorry, Dad, this
is our thing now.

253
00:11:58,353 --> 00:12:00,254
Fine, blow off Fun Dad

254
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:03,690
and go eat your walrus mustaches
and deep-fried pixie wings.

255
00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:09,329
Don't be so jealous, Homie,
just because the kids

256
00:12:09,397 --> 00:12:11,915
are finally having fun
doing something with me.

257
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:14,318
Aah! Jealous? Me?

258
00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:17,988
That is to laugh.

259
00:12:18,056 --> 00:12:19,890
The very idea.

260
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:24,261
If anything...

261
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,563
you're the one who's jealous.
Of what?

262
00:12:26,631 --> 00:12:29,466
Of how much fun
I am to be around!

263
00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:36,089
It's always a party
with Fun Dad!

264
00:12:41,329 --> 00:12:44,064
Too sad to walk.

265
00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:47,935
Too sad and fun to walk.

266
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,708
What are you doing?

267
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:58,711
When I'm sad, I make
baseball bats.

268
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:02,738
Homie, I don't want you
to feel excluded.

269
00:13:02,739 --> 00:13:04,424
Would you like
to come with us

270
00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:05,925
to dinner
at El Chemistri?

271
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,627
Really?

272
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:09,763
You'd let me in
on your thing?

273
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,198
Even though I think
it's stupid?

274
00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:13,883
Of course.

275
00:13:13,951 --> 00:13:15,118
Hand me that
saw, Marge.

276
00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,419
Why?

277
00:13:16,487 --> 00:13:18,354
When I'm happy,
I make birdhouses.

278
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,923
Kids, guess what.

279
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:21,791
Mom invited me
to your fancy dinner.

280
00:13:21,859 --> 00:13:23,159
Cool.
Awesome!

281
00:13:23,227 --> 00:13:25,745
I guess Fun Dad
is a foodie now.

282
00:13:25,813 --> 00:13:28,264
Food Dad! Food Dad! Food Dad!

283
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,589
I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain.

284
00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:39,159
There's nowhere I won't go
and nothing I won't eat,

285
00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:40,960
as long as I'm paid in emeralds

286
00:13:41,045 --> 00:13:43,596
and my hotel room has a bidet
that shoots warm champagne.

287
00:13:43,664 --> 00:13:45,498
I'm here at a Singapore
street-food market

288
00:13:45,566 --> 00:13:48,568
with famous blogging family,
the Three Mouthketeers.

289
00:13:48,636 --> 00:13:51,938
Marge, you've got to try
some of this hang hir kuay chap.

290
00:13:52,006 --> 00:13:55,074
Ooh, triple spicy
barbecued stingray

291
00:13:55,142 --> 00:13:57,243
stuffed with
pig organs.

292
00:13:57,311 --> 00:13:59,345
Fun Dad
is a foodie now!

293
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,385
This is my thing
and always will be.

294
00:14:08,539 --> 00:14:11,574
Food Dad! Food Dad!
Food Dad!

295
00:14:15,946 --> 00:14:17,447
Everything's more fun
with Homer.

296
00:14:28,509 --> 00:14:30,877
But this was all I had.

297
00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:33,346
Stop your bloody whinging, Marge.

298
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:35,265
Aah! Gordon Ramsay!

299
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,400
You (bleep) it up,
big blue, didn't you?

300
00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:38,768
Why did you
invite Homer?

301
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,603
He stole your
bloody thunder.

302
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,505
You're not as
fun as him,

303
00:14:42,556 --> 00:14:44,006
and you never will be.

304
00:14:45,609 --> 00:14:47,043
Darling, darling,
crying's not fun.

305
00:14:47,111 --> 00:14:48,578
Homer's fun.

306
00:14:48,646 --> 00:14:49,812
Now, get out
of my dream.

307
00:14:49,864 --> 00:14:51,064
It's my dream.

308
00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:52,365
Not anymore it's not.

309
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,566
Ramsay, awake.

310
00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:56,319
What in the hell was that?

311
00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:02,675
Fun me. Fun me. Fun me.

312
00:15:02,743 --> 00:15:05,445
Kids, I was thinking, was
it really such a great idea

313
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,247
to invite your father
to that dinner?

314
00:15:07,314 --> 00:15:09,682
Relax-- Dad will be
the life of the party.

315
00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:11,851
He'll be the fourth
Mouthketeer.

316
00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:14,521
But there weren't
four Musketeers.

317
00:15:14,588 --> 00:15:18,391
Yeah-huh. Athos, Porthos,
Aramis and D'Artagnan.

318
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,027
D'Artagnan wasn't
a Musketeer.

319
00:15:21,095 --> 00:15:23,129
He only had a letter
of introduction

320
00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:26,633
to the captain of the guards--
which he lost!

321
00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:28,935
You know, I'm pretty excited

322
00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:30,036
about this far-out dinner.

323
00:15:30,104 --> 00:15:31,137
Maybe I'll like it.

324
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,472
Oh, I doubt it.

325
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,241
You sit at communal tables
full of hipsters.

326
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,910
Well, actually,
I've come around on hipsters.

327
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,445
Takes a lot of guts
to all wear the same hat.

328
00:15:39,513 --> 00:15:41,848
And the food will all
be weird foams--

329
00:15:41,916 --> 00:15:44,284
cooked with chemicals
or served in a test tube.

330
00:15:44,351 --> 00:15:45,985
It's too crazy for you.

331
00:15:46,053 --> 00:15:47,153
So it's weird.

332
00:15:47,221 --> 00:15:48,788
Don't worry, I'll make it fun.

333
00:15:48,856 --> 00:15:50,924
Yeah, you always do.

334
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,192
Well, here's where to meet us.

335
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:56,029
1501 W...

336
00:15:56,096 --> 00:15:58,565
East Oak Street.

337
00:15:58,632 --> 00:16:00,533
East Oak Street.
Is that it?

338
00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:02,101
Uh... yes.

339
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,736
Yes, East Oak Street.

340
00:16:03,804 --> 00:16:05,204
That's where you should go.

341
00:16:05,272 --> 00:16:06,673
See you there.

342
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:09,442
Don't you judge me.

343
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,078
Ah, save it for
the sitter.

344
00:16:14,315 --> 00:16:15,782
Welcome
to El Chemistri.

345
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,984
Please place these mints
in your mouth,

346
00:16:18,052 --> 00:16:20,753
and when your table is ready,
they will vibrate.

347
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:23,823
Ooh.

348
00:16:28,912 --> 00:16:31,297
Here it is: 1501 East Oak.

349
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,833
No name on the door--
very trendy.

350
00:16:35,469 --> 00:16:36,869
What do you want?

351
00:16:36,937 --> 00:16:38,504
Is this the chemical
kitchen place

352
00:16:38,572 --> 00:16:39,772
where you do the
crazy cooking?

353
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,240
Quiet, man.

354
00:16:41,308 --> 00:16:43,409
The experience begins.

355
00:16:44,945 --> 00:16:46,412
Where's Dad?

356
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,348
Uh...
I don't know.

357
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:50,249
Probably
changed his mind

358
00:16:50,317 --> 00:16:52,151
and stopped off
for doughnuts.

359
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,572
Before you

360
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,775
is a deconstructed
Caesar salad:

361
00:16:58,842 --> 00:17:01,611
romaine lettuce gel,
egg yolk ice,

362
00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:04,247
crouton foam
and anchovy air.

363
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,682
You eat it like this:

364
00:17:05,749 --> 00:17:08,501
gel, ice, foam, air,
foam, ice, gel, foam, air.

365
00:17:11,755 --> 00:17:14,691
Just like Marge said--
chemicals and test tubes.

366
00:17:14,758 --> 00:17:16,559
The open kitchen
is a nice touch.

367
00:17:16,627 --> 00:17:18,994
I guess I'll get started
before my family gets here.

368
00:17:19,046 --> 00:17:20,396
How much for a taste?

369
00:17:20,464 --> 00:17:21,798
You know,
just to get me going.

370
00:17:21,865 --> 00:17:22,899
50 bucks.

371
00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:25,968
Ouch. This place is fancy.

372
00:17:26,036 --> 00:17:27,837
The next course is Regret.

373
00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:40,450
Hipsters.

374
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,285
Too cool for school.

375
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:44,520
You don't look like the
kind of guy who does this.

376
00:17:44,571 --> 00:17:46,739
Well, my wife thinks
it's too crazy for me,

377
00:17:46,807 --> 00:17:48,875
but I'm going
to prove her wrong.

378
00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:51,861
I'm doing this
for my family.

379
00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:02,918
All right, Breaking Baddies,
drop the meth.

380
00:18:04,821 --> 00:18:06,405
Pick up the meth!
Pick up the meth!

381
00:18:07,774 --> 00:18:09,575
This better be dinner theater!

382
00:18:09,643 --> 00:18:12,311
And now,
pork chops 100 ways.

383
00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:13,612
Ooh.

384
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:18,384
100 pork chops!

385
00:18:18,452 --> 00:18:20,820
I can't believe Dad
is missing this.

386
00:18:20,887 --> 00:18:23,973
Sure, your dad's great,
but I'm fun, too.

387
00:18:24,057 --> 00:18:25,474
Look at me eat, huh?

388
00:18:26,810 --> 00:18:28,110
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.

389
00:18:29,913 --> 00:18:31,147
Who am I kidding?

390
00:18:31,214 --> 00:18:32,748
I'm not enjoying this.

391
00:18:32,816 --> 00:18:35,017
Even the foam
tastes like nothing.

392
00:18:35,085 --> 00:18:36,736
I'm calling Homer.

393
00:18:38,138 --> 00:18:39,171
Marge!

394
00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:40,673
This isn't a food restaurant!

395
00:18:40,741 --> 00:18:43,042
It's a meth restaurant!

396
00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:45,211
A meth-taurant! Aah!

397
00:18:45,278 --> 00:18:47,747
Foodies, help me!

398
00:18:47,814 --> 00:18:49,181
My husband's in danger!

399
00:18:49,249 --> 00:18:50,649
Oh, we can't leave now.

400
00:18:50,717 --> 00:18:52,451
We haven't had
the root vegetables

401
00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:54,820
cooked in the perfect vacuum
of outer space.

402
00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:57,323
They say you can't even
understand parsnips

403
00:18:57,391 --> 00:18:59,558
until you had
zero-g parsnips.

404
00:19:01,378 --> 00:19:03,546
How dare you
walk out on me!

405
00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:05,931
Your dessert is in
this doggie bag

406
00:19:05,999 --> 00:19:09,118
woven from the silk of
a blueberry-fed spider.

407
00:19:09,186 --> 00:19:11,253
Take it and go!

408
00:19:13,557 --> 00:19:14,724
Ah, shucks.

409
00:19:14,791 --> 00:19:16,826
We get the family
dressed up to go

410
00:19:16,893 --> 00:19:19,295
to our favorite meth lab,
and it's all raided out.

411
00:19:21,131 --> 00:19:22,865
Oh, honey,
I always liked

412
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:25,201
your home-cooked
better anyways.

413
00:19:25,268 --> 00:19:26,635
Aw.

414
00:19:26,703 --> 00:19:28,904
Uh, where do you
think you're going?

415
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:31,707
A wife needs to tell her
husband she was wrong.

416
00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:34,009
And in you go.

417
00:19:35,879 --> 00:19:37,413
Sorry.

418
00:19:37,481 --> 00:19:40,166
Everything you've done
here has created problems.

419
00:19:44,671 --> 00:19:46,038
I've got to save him.

420
00:19:46,089 --> 00:19:47,673
Ooh.

421
00:19:47,724 --> 00:19:48,724
My dessert.

422
00:19:50,110 --> 00:19:52,478
Eat deconstructed apple pie!

423
00:20:02,322 --> 00:20:05,758
<i>Merci, Maman,</i>
<i>pour la tarte tatin à la mode.</i>

424
00:20:15,519 --> 00:20:17,820
Oh, Marge,
you saved me

425
00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:19,989
from the danger
you put me in.

426
00:20:20,056 --> 00:20:22,525
I am so happy
and angry.

427
00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:24,393
I'm sorry.

428
00:20:24,461 --> 00:20:25,895
I guess I just
wanted the kids

429
00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:27,863
to look at me the way
they look at you.

430
00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:29,064
Aw.

431
00:20:29,132 --> 00:20:31,333
Wow, Mom!
That was awesome.

432
00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:33,369
We ate
mad-scientist food

433
00:20:33,436 --> 00:20:35,805
and broke up a meth lab
in the same day.

434
00:20:35,872 --> 00:20:37,773
Fun Mom! Fun Mom!

435
00:20:37,841 --> 00:20:39,675
Fun Mom!

436
00:20:43,346 --> 00:20:45,214
Now, that's my kind
of foam.

437
00:20:45,282 --> 00:20:47,283
This is nice.

438
00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:49,318
A family fun day.

439
00:20:49,386 --> 00:20:50,553
Here's 50 bucks.

440
00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:51,954
For the next
two hours,

441
00:20:52,022 --> 00:20:53,572
I don't want
to know you exist.

442
00:20:54,941 --> 00:20:57,576
Family fun day.

443
00:20:57,627 --> 00:21:01,627
== sync, corrected by <font color="#00ff00">elderman</font> ==

444
00:21:12,826 --> 00:21:16,161
♪ We're bloggin' a food blog ♪

445
00:21:16,229 --> 00:21:20,099
♪ Settin' up accounts
for our users ♪

446
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:23,102
♪ Usin' computers ♪

447
00:21:23,169 --> 00:21:25,204
♪ Post tweets every day ♪

448
00:21:25,272 --> 00:21:27,106
♪ Yo, yo,
tweets every day, y'all ♪

449
00:21:27,173 --> 00:21:29,208
♪ Never give it four stars ♪

450
00:21:29,276 --> 00:21:31,110
♪ Ain't never give it
four stars ♪

451
00:21:31,177 --> 00:21:33,112
♪ Maybe two, maybe three ♪

452
00:21:33,179 --> 00:21:38,217
♪ Moderatin' the comments ♪

453
00:21:38,285 --> 00:21:43,122
♪ Checkin' the page views,
page views, page views ♪

454
00:21:43,189 --> 00:21:45,057
♪ Duck fat ♪

455
00:21:45,125 --> 00:21:46,926
♪ Truffle oil, yo, yo, yo ♪

456
00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:49,862
♪ My food is art,
my food is art ♪

457
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:51,597
♪ It comes
right from the heart. ♪

458
00:21:52,799 --> 00:21:54,633
Shh!

