1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:03,145
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

2
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:05,631
♪ Good morning, USA ♪

3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:09,468
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

4
00:00:09,751 --> 00:00:12,596
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

5
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:16,774
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

6
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:22,339
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

7
00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:24,141
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪

8
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:25,583
Aah!

9
00:00:27,102 --> 00:00:30,271
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪

10
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:34,585
Read 'em and weep, ladies.

11
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,203
Just a second there, Dick.

12
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,589
I don't think you've met

13
00:00:38,714 --> 00:00:42,993
DJ, Michelle, Stephanie, Comet
and Uncle Jesse!

14
00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:44,785
Full house!

15
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,269
(grunts)

16
00:00:52,394 --> 00:00:53,470
Race riots!

17
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,038
Take it easy, Smith.

18
00:00:55,163 --> 00:00:56,740
Dick's just blowing off steam.

19
00:00:56,865 --> 00:00:59,059
Man, I'm always losing at poker!

20
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,260
I need a beer.

21
00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:03,247
That's his avatar, Black Dick.

22
00:01:03,372 --> 00:01:06,066
I realize that name
is a rich joke area,

23
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:09,987
but curb yourself people;
this isn't junior high.

24
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:13,557
Although Black Dick
is huge and veiny.

25
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,109
(laughs)

26
00:01:16,234 --> 00:01:17,577
(cell phone ringing)

27
00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:18,645
What up, girl?

28
00:01:18,770 --> 00:01:20,147
Stan, where are you?

29
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:21,865
It's Steve's birthday!

30
00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:23,717
- Uh...
- Get home before you miss it,

31
00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:26,010
like you have all
his other birthdays.

32
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,390
Uhp, Black Dick, you're spewing foam.

33
00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,467
(laughter)

34
00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,802
♪ And many more. ♪

35
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,117
Got held up looking
all over town for that

36
00:01:40,242 --> 00:01:43,337
pink novelty-sized rabbit my
boy's been hassling me for.

37
00:01:43,462 --> 00:01:46,557
No, you forgot to get Steve
a present and grabbed

38
00:01:46,682 --> 00:01:50,544
the first thing you saw
out of the CIA evidence room.

39
00:01:50,669 --> 00:01:54,147
Stan, we just finally
got Steve off the heroin

40
00:01:54,272 --> 00:01:56,450
from the last birthd present
you gave him.

41
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,986
(whispers):
I got so high.

44
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,478
(sighs) Every year
on Steve's birthday,

45
00:02:08,603 --> 00:02:10,380
we watch home movies.

46
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:11,922
Rolling!

47
00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:13,758
♪ ♪

48
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,240
STAN: Oh, my God,
I'm not in a single one of these.

49
00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:39,583
Oh, wait, I'm probably
the one filming everything.

50
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:43,780
Who the hell is that?

51
00:02:43,905 --> 00:02:45,165
That's Fernando,

52
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,217
the family cinematographer.

53
00:02:47,342 --> 00:02:50,587
Do you like my new Arizona jeans?

54
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:54,925
I... I haven't been there
for anything in Steve's life.

55
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,910
Yes, Stan, you neglected your son.

56
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,078
Everyone neglects things.

57
00:02:58,203 --> 00:02:59,429
I've neglected these puppies.

58
00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:00,764
(flies buzzing)

59
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,124
They're shy around new people.

60
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,371
Good morning, kiddo.

61
00:03:07,496 --> 00:03:09,439
Sorry again about
missing your birthday.

62
00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:11,274
What do you say
I take you to a ballgame?

63
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,460
Sorry, man, got other plans.

64
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:14,711
What's the problem?

65
00:03:14,836 --> 00:03:15,979
I'm trying to bond with him.

66
00:03:16,104 --> 00:03:17,489
Well, you're too late.

67
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,833
Steve's at the age
where he doesn't care about

68
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:21,827
going to a ballgame with his dad.

69
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,054
All he's interested in is girls.

70
00:03:24,179 --> 00:03:27,424
He doesn't want ballgames,
he just wants to ball dames.

71
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:30,177
Huh? Huh?

72
00:03:30,302 --> 00:03:33,213
(laughs):
Ah! Ah!

73
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,172
Aw.

74
00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,074
(grunting)

75
00:03:39,361 --> 00:03:40,554
A little help, dude.

76
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,972
My guns are juicing.

77
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,007
Don't think I can finish this set.

78
00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:45,642
Carlos, I need a spot!

79
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,686
(groans)

80
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,621
(Dixie car horn honking)

81
00:03:56,978 --> 00:03:59,489
Oh, Roger, it's magnificent.

82
00:03:59,655 --> 00:04:00,374
Where did you get it?

83
00:04:00,499 --> 00:04:02,859
Oh, I got a great deal.

84
00:04:02,984 --> 00:04:04,561
This limo company went out of bus...

85
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:06,705
Ah, you know damn well I stole it.

86
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,165
Let's go for a ride.

87
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,417
No, no, no, I'm gonna
start a business.

88
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,236
It's always been
a dream of mine to drive people

89
00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:16,172
slightly more privileged than
myself to various locations.

90
00:04:16,338 --> 00:04:18,375
And it is my dream
to accompany people

91
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:21,302
with slightly
more specific dreams than mine.

92
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,852
Happy birthday, friendo.

93
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,606
Two tickets
to the Ice Capades on Land?

94
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,991
They twirl around with shoes on!

95
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:36,727
Oh, that sounds like fun, Steve.

96
00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:37,994
I'm free whatever night that is.

97
00:04:38,119 --> 00:04:39,329
Oh, great.

98
00:04:39,454 --> 00:04:41,264
You can have these,
'cause I don't want to go.

99
00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,199
Hey.

100
00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:44,751
Class, this is Phyllis.

101
00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:46,753
She just moved here from Hoboken.

102
00:04:46,878 --> 00:04:49,122
I'd like you all to give her
a warm welcome.

103
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,191
Now, I'm not referring to
the sexual position,

104
00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:54,594
the warm welcome,
of which I am the inventor.

105
00:04:54,719 --> 00:04:56,229
The basic nature of the move is...

106
00:04:56,354 --> 00:04:57,631
Oh, never mind.

107
00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,900
Y'all ain't long enough.

108
00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:01,792
♪ ♪

109
00:05:11,503 --> 00:05:12,913
You want to go out?

110
00:05:13,038 --> 00:05:13,980
W-What?

111
00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:15,949
Yeah. I like your face.

112
00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:18,151
We should go out tomorrow,
get to know each other.

113
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,287
Tomorrow? Sure!

114
00:05:20,412 --> 00:05:21,254
I mean,

115
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:23,764
just let me check my schedule.

116
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,362
You know what?
I can move some stuff around.

117
00:05:29,487 --> 00:05:30,580
Perfect.

118
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,182
Wow, I-I don't believe it.

119
00:05:32,307 --> 00:05:33,917
This is too good to be real.

120
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,202
Of course this is real.

121
00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:36,653
And this is really happening.

122
00:05:36,778 --> 00:05:38,021
Because this is real.

123
00:05:38,146 --> 00:05:40,247
Really, really real.

124
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:50,016
Smith, what did I say about
fooling around with the avatars?

125
00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:51,435
I wasn't fooling around, sir.

126
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,602
This is serious.

127
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,071
My son wants nothing to do with me,

128
00:05:54,196 --> 00:05:56,356
and the only way to get close
to him is to be

129
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,607
an incredibly stacked teenage girl.

130
00:05:57,773 --> 00:06:00,744
I totally understand.

131
00:06:00,869 --> 00:06:02,412
Now, if you'll excuse me,

132
00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:04,438
I have some important
business to attend to.

133
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,120
(machine beeps)

134
00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:14,457
(crying)

135
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:16,334
Another feeding?

136
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,461
My, you have quite the appetite.

137
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,592
(Dixie car horn honking)

138
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:26,219
♪ ♪

139
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,105
Okay, the bars are emptying out.

140
00:06:28,230 --> 00:06:30,331
Time to get our first client ever.

141
00:06:33,368 --> 00:06:34,461
(laughter)
Yeah!

142
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,163
Ah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!

143
00:06:36,288 --> 00:06:39,149
Looks like you fine gentlemen
are making memories tonight.

144
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,984
20 bucks, anywhere you want to go.

145
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,419
(Bleep) you!

146
00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:44,237
Aha, the jester.

147
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:45,572
Every group has one.

148
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,073
Come on, get in, you rascals.

149
00:06:54,973 --> 00:06:56,633
(burps)

150
00:06:56,758 --> 00:06:58,251
(laughter)
Oh, my God!

151
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,253
That was such a hot burp!

152
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,655
Suck it up, Klaus.

153
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:02,723
This is a service industry.

154
00:07:02,848 --> 00:07:03,690
Just be professional.

155
00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:05,683
You guys are so crazy.

156
00:07:08,153 --> 00:07:10,547
Oh, man, is that your bottom?

157
00:07:10,672 --> 00:07:12,766
Oh, you put it right next to my face.

158
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,235
That's so funny...
Oh, you farted, too.

159
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,562
You guys are so much fun.

160
00:07:20,198 --> 00:07:22,484
♪ ♪

161
00:07:26,403 --> 00:07:28,215
Okay, guys, here we are.

162
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,909
And here's a memento for you
at no extra charge.

163
00:07:33,044 --> 00:07:35,789
So, will you be paying
your $20 in cash or... Hey!

164
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,790
Can't catch me!
(laughter)

165
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,917
Thanks for the ride, sucker!

166
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,261
I can't believe it.

167
00:07:41,386 --> 00:07:43,897
I treated them with nothing
but respect and civility,

168
00:07:44,022 --> 00:07:45,789
and they want to stiff me?

169
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:48,935
(tires screeching)

170
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:50,720
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?

171
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,639
You don't mess with a man's dream.

172
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:55,942
Whoa!

173
00:07:56,067 --> 00:07:57,769
Dude, you killed him!

174
00:08:00,729 --> 00:08:02,182
One down, four to go.

175
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:05,051
You're really gonna
kill five people over $20?

176
00:08:05,176 --> 00:08:07,020
Are you really asking that to the guy

177
00:08:07,145 --> 00:08:10,490
who just last week killed
six people over $19?

178
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,909
Oh, yeah.

179
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,411
(crowd cheering)

180
00:08:15,577 --> 00:08:16,997
This is a lot of fun, right?

181
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,165
I'm so glad we got to hang today.

182
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:20,250
Me, too.

183
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,218
(bat cracks)

184
00:08:21,343 --> 00:08:22,409
(gasps)

185
00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:26,623
Souvenir.

186
00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,058
Aw, thanks!

187
00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:29,693
Oh, uh, hey, you hungry?

188
00:08:29,818 --> 00:08:31,962
(grunting)

189
00:08:32,087 --> 00:08:33,497
(sighs)

190
00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:35,565
Oh, there was a paper
doily under that,

191
00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:38,518
but I'm sure you'll
figure that out later.

192
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,312
I had such an awesome time, Steve.

193
00:08:41,596 --> 00:08:43,148
I can't believe
how close we're getting.

194
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,984
I know one way we cod get closer.

195
00:08:51,373 --> 00:08:52,449
Good night, kiddo.

196
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,817
It's been a blast.

197
00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:55,452
Yeah, it was great.

198
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,244
Good night.

199
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:07,264
(tires screech)

200
00:09:07,389 --> 00:09:09,007
(explosion)

201
00:09:16,898 --> 00:09:17,941
(mechanical whirring)

202
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:19,609
(whistling)

203
00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:20,594
(cell phone ringing)

204
00:09:20,719 --> 00:09:21,695
Hello?

205
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:22,662
FRANCINE:
Finally you answer!

206
00:09:22,787 --> 00:09:24,331
I've been calling and calling.

207
00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,633
I told you,
Steve had a big date tonight

208
00:09:26,758 --> 00:09:28,301
and you should've been here
to see him off!

209
00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:30,310
Oh, we were there.

210
00:09:32,247 --> 00:09:33,072
(cell phone ringing)

211
00:09:33,238 --> 00:09:34,257
Hello?

212
00:09:34,382 --> 00:09:35,491
Bitch, did you just hang up on...

213
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,409
(phone beeps)

214
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:40,754
(school bell rings)

215
00:09:42,924 --> 00:09:44,050
You coming, Steve?

216
00:09:44,175 --> 00:09:46,786
Barry swallowed
a whole roll of quarters.

217
00:09:46,911 --> 00:09:49,723
We're gonna wait for them to
pass and then hit up the arcade.

218
00:09:49,848 --> 00:09:51,674
I don't trust the banks!

219
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:52,976
You guys go without me.

220
00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:54,886
I got some girl stuff
I got to figure out.

221
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,763
Oh, women.

222
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,299
Let me tell you what I know
about women, Steve.

223
00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:04,020
If you buy a woman's shoe, in
your size, it will not fit you.

224
00:10:06,831 --> 00:10:10,894
So, Steve, uh, how are
things going with Phyllis?

225
00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:12,662
You know, she's beautiful,

226
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:15,131
but I think she just
wants to be my buddy.

227
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:17,300
Maybe she's not the one for me.

228
00:10:17,425 --> 00:10:20,403
Well, maybe the one for you has been

229
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,240
right in front of your
face this entire time.

230
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:25,291
Yeah? Who?

231
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:27,585
(speaking orc)

232
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,850
There's a lot about me you don't ow.

233
00:10:33,975 --> 00:10:37,470
♪ ♪

234
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,476
I can't believe Tad's dead.

235
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,779
I can't believe I already
banged his girlfriend.

236
00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:47,814
I can't believe I watched.

237
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,136
Oh, you did a little more than watch.

238
00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:52,093
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.

239
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:54,254
(Dixie car horn honking)

240
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:55,238
(tires screeching)

241
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,129
Oh, no!

242
00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,497
Oh, my God, is that

243
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,032
on the inside or the outside?

244
00:11:06,157 --> 00:11:07,758
Oh, it's on the outside.

245
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,982
(tires squealing)

246
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,938
(whistling)

247
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,808
What's gotten into you, Steve?

248
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,152
Oh, Mother, it's the love bug,

249
00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:27,979
and I want to be sick forever.

250
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,756
This must be <i>some</i> girl.

251
00:11:29,881 --> 00:11:32,192
Oh, she is. I'm gonna ask her

252
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,192
to the homecoming dance.

253
00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:35,486
Homecoming! Oh, Steve!

254
00:11:35,770 --> 00:11:38,381
Does this little minx have a name?

255
00:11:38,506 --> 00:11:40,150
It's Chelsea.

256
00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:41,985
Chelsea?! What happened
to that other girl

257
00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:43,153
you were seeing, Phyllis?

258
00:11:43,278 --> 00:11:44,854
She was really enjoying
her time with you.

259
00:11:44,979 --> 00:11:46,122
Sure didn't seem like it.

260
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,390
She wouldn't even kiss me.

261
00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,659
Nice girls don't kiss
on the first date, Steve.

262
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:52,662
Your mom wouldn't kiss me
until our third date.

263
00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:55,965
It made the sex on the first
two dates very impersonal.

264
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,738
Whoa, Kanye!

265
00:12:01,863 --> 00:12:04,007
What's with the big-time entrance?

266
00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:05,909
I'm about to ask Chelsea
to the dance.

267
00:12:06,034 --> 00:12:08,244
Thought I should arrive in style.

268
00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:10,571
If you boys'll excuse me.

269
00:12:12,157 --> 00:12:13,733
Hey, Steve.
Want to hang out?

270
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,069
I got your favorite, meatball subs.

271
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,613
Look, Phyllis,
I don't think it's gonna work out.

272
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,365
Don't say that!
Why are you...

273
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,574
... saying that?

274
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,043
I'm sorry, I'm just...

275
00:12:23,168 --> 00:12:25,478
I'm looking for something
more than friendship.

276
00:12:25,603 --> 00:12:27,914
Uh, if you go to the dance with me,

277
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,416
I'll have sex with you.

278
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:31,041
Okay!

279
00:12:45,855 --> 00:12:47,256
This is sick, man!

280
00:12:47,381 --> 00:12:49,308
Are you really going to
go through with this?

281
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:51,743
I've already missed so
much of Steve's life.

282
00:12:51,868 --> 00:12:54,012
This way,
I get to keep hanging out with him.

283
00:12:54,137 --> 00:12:56,131
Plus, I get to be there for his

284
00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:57,735
biggest milestone ever:
losing his virginity.

285
00:12:57,991 --> 00:12:59,701
To you, you idiot!

286
00:12:59,826 --> 00:13:01,614
Have you even thought this through?

287
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,305
Look, fathers take their sons
to whorehouses

288
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:05,324
to lose their virginity all the time.

289
00:13:05,449 --> 00:13:07,120
This is almost just like that.

290
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:10,162
Except I will be locked
in eye contact with my son

291
00:13:10,287 --> 00:13:12,455
while he plows my cyber soil.

292
00:13:15,392 --> 00:13:17,469
STEVE: Hey, Mom,
can you teach me how to shave?

293
00:13:17,594 --> 00:13:20,889
Aah! I can't believe
your father's not here.

294
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:22,541
I'm going down to the CIA

295
00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:25,067
to give him a piece of my mind.

296
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,382
They got run over, man!

297
00:13:30,507 --> 00:13:31,600
They're dead!

298
00:13:31,725 --> 00:13:32,601
We're next, I know it.

299
00:13:32,726 --> 00:13:35,304
Bro, relax!
Go splash some water

300
00:13:35,429 --> 00:13:37,406
on your face and pull
yourself together, man.

301
00:13:37,531 --> 00:13:38,841
We're gonna be fine.

302
00:13:38,966 --> 00:13:41,033
Remember, we're Lanes AdAddiction.

303
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,653
(engine idling nearby)

304
00:13:51,778 --> 00:13:53,612
(brakes screeching)

305
00:14:03,106 --> 00:14:05,007
Oh, thank God.

306
00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:08,244
(Dixie car horn playing,
engine revving)

307
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,055
(techno music playing)

308
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,906
(rap music plays)

309
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,897
Oh, this is my ish!

310
00:14:56,676 --> 00:14:59,412
♪ ♪

311
00:15:03,568 --> 00:15:05,677
Come on, let's go get some privacy.

312
00:15:05,802 --> 00:15:07,279
Uh, right now?

313
00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:08,533
What's the hurry?

314
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,233
I'm sorry, I'm just excited.

315
00:15:11,358 --> 00:15:12,818
I mean, this is gonna be

316
00:15:12,943 --> 00:15:14,705
the biggest moment of my life.

317
00:15:17,064 --> 00:15:21,504
(sighs) And I'm gonna finally
be there for it.

318
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,069
(tires screeching)

319
00:15:25,422 --> 00:15:26,632
Stan, this is the last time

320
00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:28,834
you put work before Steve!

321
00:15:28,959 --> 00:15:31,389
He's actually with Steve right now.

322
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,972
What? So Stan's at the dance?

323
00:15:34,097 --> 00:15:36,975
No, he's here, but he's
remotely controlling

324
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,844
a teen girl at the dance

325
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:41,279
who's about to get
sex-pummeled by your son.

326
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:42,400
What?!

327
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,277
It's a lot like <i>Avatar.</i>

328
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,350
Like what?

329
00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:48,920
<i>Avatar.</i>
It's a movie?

330
00:15:49,045 --> 00:15:53,925
Okay, okay, so there's
this guy in a wheelchair,

331
00:15:54,050 --> 00:15:55,594
and he goes to this alien planet

332
00:15:55,719 --> 00:15:57,179
to join a program...

333
00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:01,500
So you pick a dragon and get
to keep it forever?

334
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,735
No, it picks <i>you.</i>

335
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:06,738
Wait! Stan's about
to use an avatar's body

336
00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:08,924
to take Steve's virginity?

337
00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:11,510
Stan, get out of there!

338
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:13,462
He can't hear you in there.

339
00:16:13,587 --> 00:16:15,998
That's impenetrable glass.
You'll never get in.

340
00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:18,667
Fine, I'll just go to the dance
and kick the crap

341
00:16:18,792 --> 00:16:20,185
out of that girl he's controlling!

342
00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,420
Careful, Francine!

343
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:24,046
These avatars have
superhuman strength.

344
00:16:33,306 --> 00:16:35,751
(hushed): Let's make a baby.

345
00:16:35,876 --> 00:16:37,877
Yeah, sexy talk.

346
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,773
Let me just go to the washroom,

347
00:16:41,898 --> 00:16:43,108
cut a couple anxiety farts

348
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:45,711
and then come back
here and go to town

349
00:16:45,836 --> 00:16:47,796
on your continental divide.

350
00:16:47,921 --> 00:16:48,954
(snaps fingers)

351
00:16:55,263 --> 00:16:57,622
Okay, okay, stop freaking out.

352
00:16:57,747 --> 00:16:59,141
You can do this.

353
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:01,009
Pictured it a million times
in your head.

354
00:17:01,134 --> 00:17:02,594
Oh! Oh, God!

355
00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:04,329
I just pictured it again!

356
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:07,857
Oh, oh... (sighs)

357
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:22,955
Get away from him, you bitch!

358
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,507
I can't believe you'd do this, Stan!

359
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:33,732
This stops now!

360
00:17:44,794 --> 00:17:46,816
Get out of here, Francine.

361
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,982
This is the only way I can
remain close to Steve.

362
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:54,820
(grunts)

363
00:17:55,638 --> 00:17:56,622
(metallic clang)

364
00:17:58,258 --> 00:18:01,372
We were finally spending
quality time together.

365
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,405
And then he was gonna dump me
for that nerd,

366
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:05,948
and I just won't lose him again!

367
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:12,297
Must... get plowed...

368
00:18:12,422 --> 00:18:14,093
by son.

369
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,419
No, Stan, this isn't the way!

370
00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:20,021
You might've missed
his first 14 years,

371
00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:23,269
but you can still be there
for his next 14.

372
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,855
He's gonna die at 28?

373
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,696
Maybe.
Maybe sooner.

374
00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:31,483
Look, I know you want
to be closer to Steve,

375
00:18:31,608 --> 00:18:34,476
but all you can do is be there
for him.

376
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,747
Wha... what happened?

377
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:46,865
Steve, you're a terrific kid,

378
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:50,379
but I'm not right for you.

379
00:18:50,545 --> 00:18:54,406
Besides, there's a homely,
kinky-haired beauty out there

380
00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:57,428
who'd just love to dance
with you right now.

381
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,244
Snot wants to dance with me?

382
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:02,981
Oh, wait, Chelsea, got it,
got it, got it.

383
00:19:03,106 --> 00:19:04,310
I'm gonna go get her back!

384
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,551
Hey, Steve.
Yeah?

385
00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:08,253
Your dad, he loves you.

386
00:19:08,378 --> 00:19:10,455
I'm sorry, are you...?

387
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:12,257
Have you been spending
time with my dad?

388
00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:13,291
No!

389
00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:15,026
Is that where he's been?

390
00:19:15,151 --> 00:19:16,822
Is that why he's gone all the time?

391
00:19:17,053 --> 00:19:18,296
What?

392
00:19:18,421 --> 00:19:21,032
Are you... are you banging my dad?!

393
00:19:21,157 --> 00:19:23,568
Hey! Whoa!
Come on!

394
00:19:23,693 --> 00:19:25,370
(sighs) Okay, good.

395
00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:27,339
'Cause you could do better.

396
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:28,473
A <i>lot</i> better.

397
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:29,999
See ya!

398
00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:33,085
(Bleep) you, Steve.

399
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:43,879
(sighs)

400
00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:52,754
(car engine revving, tires
squealing, Dixie horn playing)

401
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:55,650
(screaming)

402
00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:56,862
(loud thud)

403
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:58,560
(explosion)

404
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,475
Roger, you got your revenge.

405
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,285
Can we go home now?

406
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,496
(screams)

407
00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:09,583
Roger!

408
00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:11,649
I'm sorry, I got the blood lust!

409
00:20:11,774 --> 00:20:13,087
Eventually I'll get bored with it.

410
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,986
Remember when I was
super into Jiffy Pop?

411
00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:17,672
Had it all the time
for a snack? Overdid it.

412
00:20:17,797 --> 00:20:19,507
Then I started having
a little Greek yogurt

413
00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:21,960
and berries at night.
That's all I need.

414
00:20:22,085 --> 00:20:23,878
Hey, so what's happening
with that girl?

415
00:20:24,003 --> 00:20:25,599
You still e-mailing with...?

416
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:31,586
You did the right thing, Stan.

417
00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:35,040
I know, I'm just gonna miss
being close with him.

418
00:20:35,165 --> 00:20:36,908
Hey, honey, how'd the dance go?

419
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:39,044
Ah, turns out Chelsea didn't like

420
00:20:39,169 --> 00:20:40,946
that I went to the
dance with Phyllis.

421
00:20:41,071 --> 00:20:42,447
She's got way more pride

422
00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:44,076
than her physical appearance
would suggest.

423
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:45,033
(sobbing)

424
00:20:45,158 --> 00:20:47,335
Th-There.
There, there.

425
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:50,755
Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the sack.

426
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,191
Then probably go to bed.

427
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:54,149
Good night.

428
00:20:56,219 --> 00:20:59,047
Thanks for listening, Dad.

429
00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:00,815
Did you see that?

430
00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:02,417
I was there for him!

431
00:21:02,542 --> 00:21:04,319
I was there to help him through

432
00:21:04,444 --> 00:21:06,187
this terrible moment in his life.

433
00:21:06,312 --> 00:21:08,490
But you caused that terrible moment!

434
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:12,084
Yup. Everything worked out
for everybody in the end.

435
00:21:15,398 --> 00:21:21,614
<font color="#3399FF">Sync and correction by Mlmlte</font>
<font color="#3399FF">www.addic7ed.com</font>

436
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,102
Is this your smallest condom?

437
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:36,386
Nothing tinier?

438
00:21:36,511 --> 00:21:38,922
Would they shrink
if I put them in the dryer?

439
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:40,524
I don't know, man.

440
00:21:40,649 --> 00:21:42,635
Ah, this is tough.

441
00:21:42,851 --> 00:21:45,304
All right, I'll try 'em.

