1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,167
Hey.
2
00:00:05,218 --> 00:00:06,668
(yelling)
(laughing)
3
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:08,408
Is there any
better feeling
4
00:00:08,459 --> 00:00:10,877
than waiting for a live
Krusty show to start?
5
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,713
Maybe watching your bride
coming down the aisle.
6
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:14,748
Hmm.
7
00:00:14,816 --> 00:00:18,101
(organ plays discordant music)
8
00:00:18,169 --> 00:00:21,304
(grunting)
9
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:22,823
(sobbing)
10
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:25,125
Why does she get to eat
before the reception?
11
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,693
(sobbing)
12
00:00:26,718 --> 00:00:30,218
♪ The Simpsons 23x07 ♪
The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants
Original Air Date on November 27, 2011
13
00:00:30,219 --> 00:00:33,719
== sync by Sp8ky , corrected by elderman ==
14
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,654
Seltzer bottle connected
and pressurized?
15
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,172
Check.
16
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,907
Roll-up dicky
set to six?
17
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,676
Nope. 11.
(gasps)
18
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:45,520
My comedy comes
from taking risks.
19
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,810
Or avoiding them,
I can't remember.
20
00:00:47,835 --> 00:00:49,308
Krusty, we need to talk.
21
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,789
Make it fast.
I got a coiled up spring
22
00:00:51,814 --> 00:00:53,738
ready to boi-oi-oi-oi-oing.
23
00:00:54,524 --> 00:00:57,844
Oh, why can't I be funny
with just my words?
24
00:00:57,854 --> 00:01:00,188
Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous
things near his crotch,
25
00:01:00,256 --> 00:01:02,257
except when
he's off work.
26
00:01:02,325 --> 00:01:03,658
(laughs)
Yeah.
27
00:01:03,726 --> 00:01:06,328
It's about your vodka,
Absolut Krusty.
28
00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:07,762
We're having trouble
persuading people
29
00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:10,365
it's hip to drink a
vodka made by a clown,
30
00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:12,067
in a bottle shaped
like a clown,
31
00:01:12,134 --> 00:01:13,735
that does this
when you open it.
32
00:01:13,803 --> 00:01:14,903
(ooga horn sounds)
33
00:01:14,971 --> 00:01:16,037
(laughs)
34
00:01:16,105 --> 00:01:17,472
Always gets me.
35
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:18,807
Yeah, plus,
that TV special
36
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:21,243
where you drank another brand
of vodka didn't help.
37
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,545
I used up my stuff
poisoning deer.
38
00:01:23,613 --> 00:01:25,313
If we're ever gonna
sell your vodka,
39
00:01:25,381 --> 00:01:27,215
we need to do something
completely unorthodox--
40
00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:28,517
a viral marketing
campaign.
41
00:01:28,584 --> 00:01:29,718
(metallic creaking)
44
00:01:33,556 --> 00:01:35,457
People are more likely
to drink your vodka
45
00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:38,026
if they think all their
coolest friends are drinking it.
46
00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:39,761
So, we pay for
a big party
47
00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:41,563
at the home of a
Springfield trendsetter.
48
00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:44,432
Your Brockman,
your Bumblebee Man...
49
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:47,335
He invites his cool friends,
we serve free cocktails,
50
00:01:47,403 --> 00:01:49,771
made with your vodka,
generating buzz.
51
00:01:49,839 --> 00:01:51,306
We got buzz.
52
00:01:51,374 --> 00:01:52,707
Positive buzz.
53
00:01:52,775 --> 00:01:54,843
That exists? Wow.
54
00:01:54,911 --> 00:01:57,946
So, all you have to do is find
one of your loyal fans
55
00:01:58,014 --> 00:02:00,148
whose house we can trash
and friends you can exploit.
56
00:02:00,216 --> 00:02:01,216
(metallic creaking)
57
00:02:01,284 --> 00:02:02,951
(gasps, grunts)
58
00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:04,452
I need a drink.
59
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,222
Not that!
Never that!
60
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:08,156
(theme music plays)
61
00:02:08,224 --> 00:02:09,591
Hey, hey, kids!
62
00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,993
Who wants to host
a viral marketing event?
63
00:02:12,061 --> 00:02:13,495
ALL:
Yay!
64
00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,830
All you have to do
is write me a letter
65
00:02:15,898 --> 00:02:18,199
about how hip and influential
your parents are.
66
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:20,201
Milhouse, I'm gonna
win that thing.
67
00:02:20,269 --> 00:02:21,603
How do you know, Bart?
68
00:02:21,671 --> 00:02:23,838
Maybe for once I'll win.
69
00:02:23,906 --> 00:02:26,308
Children of troubled marriages
not eligible.
70
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:27,809
Oh!
71
00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:29,110
(birds singing)
72
00:02:29,178 --> 00:02:31,212
So, uh, why
are you here?
73
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,381
Is it about that unauthorized
Krusty lookalike
74
00:02:33,449 --> 00:02:35,050
I hired for Lisa's
first communion?
75
00:02:35,117 --> 00:02:36,184
What was his name?
76
00:02:36,252 --> 00:02:37,986
Krappy the Klunk. See?
77
00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:40,789
Homer, we're here
to throw the most redonkulous
78
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:43,124
marketing outreach
this town's ever seen.
79
00:02:43,192 --> 00:02:45,827
All you have to do is invite
every cool person you know.
80
00:02:45,895 --> 00:02:47,195
Hey, I wrote the application.
81
00:02:47,263 --> 00:02:49,130
Do any of my friends get
to come?
82
00:02:49,198 --> 00:02:50,432
One friend.
83
00:02:50,499 --> 00:02:52,334
He can listen to music
with headphones on,
84
00:02:52,401 --> 00:02:53,969
he gets one slice
of cheese pizza,
85
00:02:54,036 --> 00:02:55,470
and if the party
gets slow,
86
00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:57,839
he has to pretend to let
Krusty save him from drowning.
87
00:02:57,907 --> 00:02:59,007
Redonkulous!
88
00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:00,108
Off the dilge!
89
00:03:01,243 --> 00:03:03,612
(dance music playing)
90
00:03:03,679 --> 00:03:05,146
(tires squeak)
91
00:03:05,214 --> 00:03:09,117
(crowd chatter)
92
00:03:09,185 --> 00:03:12,087
This party is so much better
than the crummy ones we plan.
93
00:03:12,154 --> 00:03:13,288
(laughs)
94
00:03:13,356 --> 00:03:15,490
I hope Bart's having fun.
95
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:18,727
And that's why John Gielgud
is more of a father to me
96
00:03:18,794 --> 00:03:20,462
than my own father.
97
00:03:20,529 --> 00:03:22,330
Where's the nachos
you promised?
98
00:03:22,398 --> 00:03:25,000
There'll be time enough
for nachos!
99
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:27,736
Why can't I go to
the grown-up room?
100
00:03:27,803 --> 00:03:30,271
You said the clown scared you.
101
00:03:30,339 --> 00:03:32,107
Well, he did a little.
102
00:03:32,174 --> 00:03:33,808
(crowd chatter
and laughter)
103
00:03:33,876 --> 00:03:36,177
Boy, everyone from the
nuclear plant is here.
104
00:03:36,245 --> 00:03:37,679
Except the bosses,
of course.
105
00:03:37,747 --> 00:03:39,781
Yeah, even Homer's not dumb
enough to invite...
106
00:03:39,849 --> 00:03:41,182
BURNS:
So!
107
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,484
This is the famous party.
108
00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:44,052
Feh.
109
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,220
Guh.
110
00:03:45,287 --> 00:03:46,921
Pffoy.
111
00:03:46,989 --> 00:03:48,723
(crowd chatter)
112
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,895
He's destroying
our youthful demographic!
113
00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:55,730
Oh, God, I need a drink!
114
00:03:57,333 --> 00:04:00,468
So the car in front of us
forgot to validate his... uh...
115
00:04:00,536 --> 00:04:03,405
(laughing):
I was in an anecdote once.
116
00:04:03,472 --> 00:04:05,707
Um, I have surgery
in the morning.
117
00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:08,443
Yeah, and I'm the one
having the surgery.
118
00:04:08,511 --> 00:04:10,278
(sighs)
119
00:04:10,346 --> 00:04:11,613
Homer, you're
the nominal host.
120
00:04:11,681 --> 00:04:12,881
Do something!
121
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:15,050
Oh! Uh! Oh!
122
00:04:15,117 --> 00:04:17,552
Mr. Burns,
123
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:19,587
so glad you're here.
124
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:21,589
Finally, the party
can get started.
125
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:23,958
Your cotillion seems
to be in full promenade.
126
00:04:24,026 --> 00:04:25,393
(laughs):
Good one.
127
00:04:25,461 --> 00:04:29,030
Uh, Mr. Burns, everyone is dying
to hear you sing karaoke.
128
00:04:29,098 --> 00:04:31,700
Come on, just pick
a popular song.
129
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,668
Do you have anything
by Prince...
130
00:04:33,736 --> 00:04:35,470
Wilhelm of Prussia?
131
00:04:35,538 --> 00:04:38,406
I have 16 million
songs, but, uh, no.
132
00:04:38,474 --> 00:04:42,744
Just play the oldest,
stupidest thing in your catalog.
133
00:04:42,812 --> 00:04:44,813
Uh, let me check
my beeswax cylinders.
134
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,148
Uh, here we are.
135
00:04:47,216 --> 00:04:50,251
♪ Come Josephine
in my flying machine! ♪
136
00:04:50,319 --> 00:04:54,055
♪ Going up she goes,
up she goes ♪
137
00:04:54,123 --> 00:04:57,058
♪ Balance yourself
like a bird on a beam ♪
138
00:04:57,126 --> 00:05:00,862
ALL: ♪ In the air she goes,
there she goes. ♪
139
00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:02,564
(applause and cheering,
Mr. Burns chuckles)
140
00:05:02,631 --> 00:05:06,201
May you all fly
in an aeroplane someday.
141
00:05:06,268 --> 00:05:08,436
You certainly seem to be
enjoying yourself, sir.
142
00:05:08,504 --> 00:05:10,872
Indeed. That Homer Simpson
is the beating baboon heart
143
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,307
of this party.
144
00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:15,510
So he says, "Bigamy is having
one too many wives."
145
00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:18,313
To which I replied,
"So's monogamy."
146
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,781
(laughter)
147
00:05:19,849 --> 00:05:21,416
Oh, yeah!
148
00:05:21,484 --> 00:05:23,651
I may have a use for
this Simpson character
149
00:05:23,719 --> 00:05:25,253
higher up in the
organization.
150
00:05:25,321 --> 00:05:26,955
Really? Well,
as safety inspector,
151
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:29,357
he hasn't exactly
set the world on fire,
152
00:05:29,425 --> 00:05:31,159
although he came close
several times.
153
00:05:31,227 --> 00:05:32,627
(crow caws)
154
00:05:32,695 --> 00:05:34,195
Simpson, you're
probably wondering
155
00:05:34,263 --> 00:05:35,897
why you're here.
156
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,165
It's never good.
157
00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:39,200
I always wind up
being chased by hounds,
158
00:05:39,268 --> 00:05:40,869
or falling
through a trapdoor,
159
00:05:40,936 --> 00:05:43,638
or being a peg in your game
of human croquet.
160
00:05:43,706 --> 00:05:46,074
When I made you a hoop,
you split your pants.
161
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:48,710
Now, here at the plant, there's
no position more important
162
00:05:48,778 --> 00:05:51,179
than our accounts man,
who's responsible
163
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,548
for glad-handing our
customers and suppliers.
164
00:05:53,616 --> 00:05:55,984
I'd like you to take
over that position.
165
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,520
The last thing I understood
in that was "pants."
166
00:05:58,587 --> 00:06:00,388
Just give me your answer,
and make it quick!
167
00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:01,790
Our current account man,
Robert Marlowe here,
168
00:06:01,857 --> 00:06:03,525
is retiring at the
end of the month.
169
00:06:03,592 --> 00:06:05,760
In two weeks, the only tie
I'll be wearing is
170
00:06:05,828 --> 00:06:07,796
for autoerotic pleasure.
171
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:10,331
Yes. Simpson,
only you have the bonhomie
172
00:06:10,399 --> 00:06:12,267
and rotund charm
to replace him.
173
00:06:12,334 --> 00:06:15,637
It means a hefty expense account
and a corner office.
174
00:06:15,704 --> 00:06:17,806
Well, in that case...
175
00:06:17,873 --> 00:06:21,309
Before you say yes, Simpson,
I feel it's my duty to warn you,
176
00:06:21,377 --> 00:06:23,478
account men lose their soul.
177
00:06:23,546 --> 00:06:25,680
Woo-hoo! No
more church!
178
00:06:30,538 --> 00:06:32,873
(door squeaks open and shut)
179
00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:34,975
So long, Sector 7-G.
180
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:37,744
Hello, Sector 22-F!
181
00:06:39,947 --> 00:06:40,914
(elevator bell dings)
182
00:06:41,916 --> 00:06:43,950
(gasps)
183
00:06:47,522 --> 00:06:49,623
(sizzling)
184
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:51,358
(giggling)
185
00:06:51,425 --> 00:06:52,726
Uh.
186
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,669
The higher they rise,
the further they fall!
187
00:07:02,736 --> 00:07:04,804
You know,
you're kind of a downer.
188
00:07:04,872 --> 00:07:06,139
I thought
you were retiring.
189
00:07:06,207 --> 00:07:07,640
Why are you still here?
190
00:07:07,708 --> 00:07:09,375
Hey, you're a
baby account man.
191
00:07:09,443 --> 00:07:10,877
Still on the bottle.
192
00:07:10,945 --> 00:07:13,713
So, for my last good
deed before I retire,
193
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,715
I'm going to help you
persuade Mayor Quimby
194
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,584
to sign off on a
nuclear rate hike.
195
00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:19,285
Uh-oh, a meeting
with the mayor.
196
00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:21,654
How do I prepare for that?
197
00:07:21,722 --> 00:07:22,989
(chuckles)
198
00:07:23,057 --> 00:07:24,591
I see.
199
00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:27,360
Now, how do I prepare
for the meeting with the mayor?
200
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,998
I am really enjoying this,
but, um...
201
00:07:32,066 --> 00:07:34,234
Hello! Meeting
with the mayor?
202
00:07:36,403 --> 00:07:37,403
(glass breaking)
203
00:07:37,471 --> 00:07:40,006
Aw. Bourbon go bye-bye.
204
00:07:40,074 --> 00:07:42,809
There ain't enough bourbon
in Kentucky for you, big guy.
205
00:07:42,877 --> 00:07:46,746
Yeah, the governor wrote me
a letter to that effect.
206
00:07:48,148 --> 00:07:49,315
Wow, I can't believe
207
00:07:49,383 --> 00:07:50,884
I'm eating steak
with the mayor.
208
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:53,620
The next time, I vote for
you, it's gonna be on purpose.
209
00:07:53,687 --> 00:07:54,954
Much obliged.
210
00:07:55,022 --> 00:07:56,523
Now, uh, where would you like
211
00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:59,659
to discuss
your proposed tax breaks?
212
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:02,295
(laughing)
213
00:08:02,363 --> 00:08:03,530
Mmm.
214
00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:04,731
Hey, Homer!
215
00:08:04,798 --> 00:08:05,899
Look at you, man!
216
00:08:05,966 --> 00:08:07,734
I've outgrown you!
217
00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:12,238
Oh, Mr. Mayor,
more peanut nore?
218
00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:13,673
(knocking on window)
219
00:08:15,409 --> 00:08:18,177
(glass squeaking)
220
00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:22,081
(both grunt)
221
00:08:22,149 --> 00:08:23,383
Say what you will, man.
222
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:24,851
He's pretty resourceful.
223
00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:26,452
(cheering)
HOMER: Wow.
224
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,121
These seats are amazing.
225
00:08:28,188 --> 00:08:30,490
And if you don't like the score,
you can change it yourself.
226
00:08:30,558 --> 00:08:31,824
(click)
227
00:08:31,892 --> 00:08:32,859
HOMER:
♪ Boring. ♪
228
00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:34,994
(click)
229
00:08:35,062 --> 00:08:36,462
God, what a
great game!
230
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:39,065
And you, too, can be on the
winning team, Mr. Mayor.
231
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,000
The Springfield
Nuclear Team.
232
00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:44,237
I have never heard an analogy
involving sports!
233
00:08:44,305 --> 00:08:45,838
I love it!
234
00:08:45,906 --> 00:08:47,774
I can't believe
that was work!
235
00:08:47,841 --> 00:08:49,275
Yeah, but work is over now.
236
00:08:49,343 --> 00:08:51,277
Want to drink with me
till I fall asleep?
237
00:08:51,345 --> 00:08:53,613
Oh, well...
238
00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:56,616
Mm, I really should look
at this picture a little longer.
239
00:08:56,684 --> 00:08:57,917
Hmm.
240
00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,519
Okay, let's go.
241
00:08:59,587 --> 00:09:02,288
Great. Now, in honor of my
last day on the hamster wheel,
242
00:09:02,356 --> 00:09:03,923
I have a little
gift for you.
243
00:09:03,991 --> 00:09:06,125
This set of bar tools
has been passed down
244
00:09:06,193 --> 00:09:08,828
from account man to account
man since the dawn of history.
245
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,830
1956.
246
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,066
Can you be my dad?
247
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:15,835
If your mom was a secretary,
there's a good chance I am.
248
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,837
(tires squealing)
249
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,138
(sighs)
250
00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:22,742
Welcome home, handsome!
251
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,577
(both moan)
252
00:09:24,645 --> 00:09:26,312
(laughs)
253
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:29,048
It's a rat race, but
it looks like I won.
254
00:09:29,116 --> 00:09:31,451
Oh, to the victor
go the spoils.
255
00:09:31,518 --> 00:09:32,919
Mmm.
256
00:09:32,987 --> 00:09:35,555
Dad, you were supposed
to read me a bedtime story.
257
00:09:35,623 --> 00:09:37,090
Oh, sorry,
sweetie.
258
00:09:37,157 --> 00:09:38,391
Bart can read
it to you.
259
00:09:38,459 --> 00:09:39,759
(Homer and Marge laugh)
260
00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:42,562
Read to Lisa? Why don't you
just ask me to kiss her?
261
00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:44,731
If you kissed her,
that would be lovely.
262
00:09:44,798 --> 00:09:45,765
I'll read! I'll read!
263
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,300
And kiss.
264
00:09:47,368 --> 00:09:48,901
Does anyone want
my opinion?
265
00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:50,169
Please, Lisa.
266
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:51,638
I had 18 martinis today.
267
00:09:51,705 --> 00:09:53,272
MARGE:
Hello.
268
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:57,610
All right, Lis, let's get this
stupid bedtime story over with.
269
00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,013
Proceed to the page with
the butterfly bookmark
270
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,215
as I cuddle up
with Madam Bunny.
271
00:10:02,282 --> 00:10:03,616
(clears throat)
272
00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:07,553
"If genn-i-oos..."
273
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:08,855
Genius.
274
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:12,425
"...is eternal pati...
275
00:10:12,493 --> 00:10:13,960
"pat-eh...
276
00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:15,228
pa-tie..."
277
00:10:15,295 --> 00:10:16,295
Patience. Patience!
278
00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:17,730
Get on with it!
279
00:10:17,798 --> 00:10:18,965
Shut up! Shut up!
280
00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:20,266
I'm a bad reader, okay?!
281
00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:21,968
Well, I could help you.
282
00:10:22,036 --> 00:10:23,436
I don't want your help!
283
00:10:23,504 --> 00:10:26,572
I'll get one of those jobs
where you don't need to read,
284
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,541
like French fry maker
or general.
285
00:10:28,609 --> 00:10:30,777
- Well, you're getting my help.
- Forget it.
286
00:10:30,844 --> 00:10:32,979
Don't you want to be
able to read the things
287
00:10:33,047 --> 00:10:34,647
people carve into
your chest in prison?
288
00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:35,948
I guess.
289
00:10:36,016 --> 00:10:37,784
♪ ♪
290
00:10:49,596 --> 00:10:51,464
Close enough.
291
00:10:59,707 --> 00:11:01,674
(sighs)
292
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,812
♪ ♪
293
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:37,210
"But when the helpful voice
was silent,
294
00:11:37,277 --> 00:11:39,746
"the daily lesson over,
the beloved presence gone,
295
00:11:39,813 --> 00:11:42,148
"and nothing remained
but loneliness and grief,
296
00:11:42,216 --> 00:11:45,151
then Jo found her promise
very hard to keep."
297
00:11:45,219 --> 00:11:46,886
We did it, Bart.
298
00:11:46,954 --> 00:11:49,255
(groans)
I'm a mentor.
299
00:11:49,323 --> 00:11:51,357
Big deal, you taught me
to read one book.
300
00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:54,160
No, Bart, you can read
other books, too.
301
00:11:54,228 --> 00:11:55,428
What?!
302
00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:02,201
Homie, what
are you doing?
303
00:12:02,269 --> 00:12:04,537
My work is
so meaningless.
304
00:12:04,605 --> 00:12:06,239
You make
electricity.
305
00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:08,241
It runs the
hospital.
306
00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:10,309
You can't touch
electricity, Marge,
307
00:12:10,377 --> 00:12:11,744
you can't feel it.
308
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,046
That's because
it would kill you.
309
00:12:14,114 --> 00:12:16,349
It already
is killing me, Marge.
310
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,050
You're the only one
I can talk to.
311
00:12:18,118 --> 00:12:20,153
My wife just
doesn't get it.
312
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:21,654
I'm your wife.
313
00:12:21,722 --> 00:12:22,989
My job is my wife,
314
00:12:23,056 --> 00:12:27,193
loneliness-- my mistress,
despair-- my sex buddy.
315
00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:28,861
Angst is a chick
I met online,
316
00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:31,264
but then it turned out
it was really a guy.
317
00:12:31,331 --> 00:12:32,431
I'm going to bed.
318
00:12:32,499 --> 00:12:34,200
You don't understand me.
319
00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:36,235
Only she understands me.
320
00:12:37,738 --> 00:12:38,838
Another round, kid?
321
00:12:46,346 --> 00:12:48,281
(squeaks)
322
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:57,857
Hey, uh...
I got here after you did.
323
00:13:03,058 --> 00:13:05,585
I'm sorry to bother you
at home, Mr. Marlowe,
324
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:07,617
but my husband's
acting pretty odd--
325
00:13:07,685 --> 00:13:10,787
coming home late,
drinking in the morning.
326
00:13:10,855 --> 00:13:13,056
- Wake me when you get to "odd."
- Hmm.
327
00:13:13,124 --> 00:13:16,393
I don't suppose you'd consider
taking your old job back
328
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:19,262
so Homie can go back
to his old job?
329
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,031
Sorry, Marge,
that account job hollowed me out
330
00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:22,666
like a cheap chocolate bunny.
331
00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:25,402
I've been divorced three times,
I've got a cocktail addiction,
332
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,870
a shrimp cocktail
addiction,
333
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:29,439
and I can't stop bending women
to my sexual will.
334
00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:33,710
Well, you certainly
won't be bending me...
335
00:13:33,778 --> 00:13:36,279
Wait, how did I end up
in your bedroom?
336
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:39,383
Lady, I am smoother than
an Eisenhower-era freeway.
337
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:41,985
Look, I came to talk
about my husband, and...
338
00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:43,854
How did we get in here?
339
00:13:43,921 --> 00:13:45,355
I think better
in the shower.
340
00:13:45,423 --> 00:13:46,523
There's room in here for two.
341
00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:49,292
I'm a happily married woman.
342
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,862
Wow, no woman's ever done
that to me before.
343
00:13:51,929 --> 00:13:53,663
Your husband
is a lucky man.
344
00:13:53,731 --> 00:13:56,233
I know, and I don't
want him to stray
345
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:58,468
from anything
except his diet,
346
00:13:58,536 --> 00:14:00,871
and I don't really
want him to do that.
347
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:02,072
Marge, I made
a big mistake
348
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,373
years ago.
349
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:04,875
I gave up on
my family.
350
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:07,043
Then I gave up on my
secret other family.
351
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:09,646
I missed my son's graduation,
my father's funeral,
352
00:14:09,714 --> 00:14:11,314
and my dog's
best in show.
353
00:14:11,382 --> 00:14:13,850
Don't let Homer make
the mistakes I did.
354
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:15,419
Luann?
355
00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:16,887
It's not what you think.
356
00:14:16,954 --> 00:14:19,589
It's much weirder.
357
00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:23,960
You're reading
a chapter book.
358
00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:25,295
For fun!
359
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:27,831
Bullies, to me.
360
00:14:27,899 --> 00:14:29,199
(both grunt)
361
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,568
Let's see the name
of this wedgie ticket.
362
00:14:31,636 --> 00:14:32,269
(gulps)
363
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:33,837
Little Women?
364
00:14:33,905 --> 00:14:36,740
Are you aware that's another way
of saying "girls"?
365
00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:38,475
Look, I had to read it
to my sister.
366
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:40,844
Well, maybe
we should hear a little.
367
00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:43,613
And then maybe you'll be
hearing from my sisters.
368
00:14:43,681 --> 00:14:45,882
Your fists
are sisters?
369
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:48,952
Yeah, Poke-ahontas
and Sock-ajawea!
370
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:49,953
Nice save.
371
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:52,355
Get reading.
372
00:14:52,423 --> 00:14:55,559
"And Amy and Jo hugged
one another close,
373
00:14:55,626 --> 00:14:59,296
and everything was forgotten
in one hearty kiss."
374
00:14:59,363 --> 00:15:00,997
End of chapter eight.
375
00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:02,265
You can't stop now.
376
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:04,234
I want to know if their
father comes home.
377
00:15:04,302 --> 00:15:06,803
Does Jo learn to handle
her hasty temper?
378
00:15:06,871 --> 00:15:09,139
Does Amy get over
her conceitedness?
379
00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:11,875
Aw, come on, guys,
it's getting dark.
380
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:15,679
Okay, but you better be here
tomorrow after school.
381
00:15:15,746 --> 00:15:17,647
'Cause we're going to
keep making you read us
382
00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,149
a lame ol' girl's book.
383
00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:21,451
(laughter)
384
00:15:21,519 --> 00:15:23,386
Bart needs to work
on differentiating
385
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:25,288
the character voices
a little better.
386
00:15:25,356 --> 00:15:28,391
I know, I keep going,
"Why is Meg saying that?"
387
00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:30,494
and then I realize it's Beth.
388
00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:31,728
(all agreeing)
That's right.
389
00:15:31,796 --> 00:15:34,331
(Homer grunting)
390
00:15:34,398 --> 00:15:36,333
(intercom buzzes)
391
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,235
RECEPTIONIST:
Your wife is here, Mr. S.
392
00:15:38,302 --> 00:15:41,171
(whispering loudly): Tell her
I'm at a meeting, not drinking.
393
00:15:41,239 --> 00:15:43,974
This is
a whisper-amplifying intercom.
394
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:45,575
- (screams)
- Homer, I want you to come
395
00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:48,111
with me and the kids
on a family vacation.
396
00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,212
Of course, of course.
397
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,582
Family is everything
to us company men.
398
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:55,418
Now, where shall we go
on your vacation?
399
00:15:55,486 --> 00:15:58,054
The farthest thing from
this office I know:
400
00:15:58,122 --> 00:15:59,055
rafting down Rattler
River Canyon.
401
00:16:02,393 --> 00:16:03,527
(whimpers)
402
00:16:03,594 --> 00:16:05,295
That's great--
let me run the numbers
403
00:16:05,363 --> 00:16:07,197
'cause I really want
the Simpson account.
404
00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:09,599
And give these cigars
to your children.
405
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,235
Don't talk to me
like I'm a client.
406
00:16:12,303 --> 00:16:15,138
You're not a client,
you're the client.
407
00:16:15,206 --> 00:16:16,573
(groans)
408
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:20,110
Simpson, put on your charm-
their-pants-off pants.
409
00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:21,978
The mumpish oafs
in Washington are sending
410
00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:24,447
their sternest band
of nuclear regulators,
411
00:16:24,515 --> 00:16:26,449
handpicked to resist
all blandishment.
412
00:16:26,517 --> 00:16:28,418
I'll handle it, I always do.
413
00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:30,153
Rafting, eh?
414
00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:32,188
It's a perfect way
to entertain them.
415
00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:35,325
Finally, humanity has found
a use for water.
416
00:16:35,393 --> 00:16:38,595
Mr. Burns, I can't go
rafting with you because--
417
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:40,764
wait a minute,
could this all work?
418
00:16:45,703 --> 00:16:47,637
Oh, no, you don't.
419
00:16:47,705 --> 00:16:48,972
Coggily-doggily.
420
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:49,973
It all fits.
421
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,641
Mr. Burns, rafting it is.
422
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:52,609
Excellent.
423
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:54,210
But Mr. S.,
424
00:16:54,278 --> 00:16:56,613
you just promised this week
to Mrs. S., Master B.,
425
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:58,114
and Mamselles L. and M.
426
00:16:58,182 --> 00:16:59,115
Now, relax, Dottie.
427
00:16:59,183 --> 00:17:01,751
Leave everything to me.
428
00:17:01,819 --> 00:17:03,053
(grunts)
429
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,187
Oh, Marge, this is
the most romantic trip
430
00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:12,122
you ever nagged me into.
431
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,224
And maybe
when we get home,
432
00:17:14,292 --> 00:17:16,994
we can ride down
something else.
433
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,896
Not sure what you're
going for, but...
434
00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,030
(lusty growl)
435
00:17:20,098 --> 00:17:22,699
(gasps)
436
00:17:24,702 --> 00:17:26,970
Uh, Marge, why don't I
catch us some salmon?
437
00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:28,605
(grunting)
438
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,107
D'oh!
439
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,042
(grunting)
440
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,610
It's about time.
441
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,613
We've been making small talk
about Mussolini for 15 minutes.
442
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,116
Well, I, uh, found
that contact lens I was missing.
443
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,884
Let me just screw her back in.
444
00:17:40,952 --> 00:17:44,354
(pained grunting)
445
00:17:45,723 --> 00:17:47,658
So, everybody good?
446
00:17:47,725 --> 00:17:51,595
Why did you get us...
447
00:17:51,663 --> 00:17:54,031
It's more fun to play
with a ball of yarn
448
00:17:54,098 --> 00:17:56,533
if it has all the colors in it.
449
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:59,369
And yarn should be allowed
to marry dental floss.
450
00:18:06,344 --> 00:18:08,011
If you've got
that, then...
451
00:18:09,747 --> 00:18:11,815
Are you sure
you're Martin Scorsese?
452
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:12,950
(Homer grunts)
453
00:18:13,017 --> 00:18:15,452
Enjoy the outdoors,
you stupid kid.
454
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,620
(worried grunting)
455
00:18:16,688 --> 00:18:18,121
This family time is so precious.
456
00:18:18,189 --> 00:18:19,756
Got to go.
457
00:18:19,824 --> 00:18:21,058
(panting)
458
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,427
(murmurs suspiciously)
459
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:24,795
(grunting)
460
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:26,129
(unzips, hums)
461
00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:27,331
(zips up)
462
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,665
(grunting)
463
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,800
(grunts wearily)
464
00:18:29,868 --> 00:18:31,635
Homer, I want
a Long Island ice tea,
465
00:18:31,703 --> 00:18:33,904
America's most
complicated cocktail.
466
00:18:36,341 --> 00:18:37,708
Homer,
467
00:18:37,775 --> 00:18:41,044
are you schmoozing those men?
468
00:18:41,112 --> 00:18:42,546
(alarmed shriek)
469
00:18:42,614 --> 00:18:44,314
Huh?
470
00:18:44,382 --> 00:18:46,884
Um, I think we're supposed
to get off here.
471
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:48,418
Take us out first.
472
00:18:48,486 --> 00:18:49,987
Anyone can start a family.
473
00:18:50,054 --> 00:18:52,356
These days
no one can find a job.
474
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,025
Let's see, my family
gives me love and sex.
475
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,693
My work gives me
money and sleep.
476
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,729
Hurry, we're heading
for the falls!
477
00:19:00,832 --> 00:19:02,833
My coworkers are like a family,
478
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:05,836
but in some ways
my family is like a family, too.
479
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:09,239
For God's sakes, Homer,
I've given you three children.
480
00:19:09,307 --> 00:19:11,074
Whose side are you on?
481
00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:15,178
Yours, Homie,
I'm always on yours.
482
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,685
How ironic.
483
00:19:21,753 --> 00:19:23,854
I survived the Titanic
by making a raft
484
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:26,823
out of steerage passengers,
and now this.
485
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:29,559
MARLOWE: Mr. Burns,
your heart will go on.
486
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:33,597
(all screaming)
487
00:19:33,665 --> 00:19:36,066
Marlowe, I thought
you retired.
488
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,834
I can't-- Treasury bills
are paying nothing.
489
00:19:37,902 --> 00:19:39,036
Nothing!
490
00:19:39,103 --> 00:19:40,737
Well, Simpson,
you were willing
491
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,739
to let me go
over a waterfall,
492
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,808
but you cut operating expenses
by six percent,
493
00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,043
so you're forgiven.
494
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:47,277
Thanks.
495
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:48,679
Now if you'll
excuse me,
496
00:19:48,746 --> 00:19:51,148
I don't really like bourbon
or business talk,
497
00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:54,718
just good old
Simpson family fun.
498
00:19:54,786 --> 00:19:56,153
Hey, kids, I'm it.
499
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:57,721
(laughter)
500
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:01,625
(grunting)
501
00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:02,626
Aah!
502
00:20:02,694 --> 00:20:05,495
(screams)
503
00:20:07,732 --> 00:20:10,500
I'm okay, and I
found some gold!
504
00:20:10,568 --> 00:20:13,303
See, luckiest man
in the world.
505
00:20:14,472 --> 00:20:16,206
Oh, I'm so glad
506
00:20:16,274 --> 00:20:18,875
you're not an
accounts man anymore.
507
00:20:18,943 --> 00:20:20,711
Yep, your worries
are over.
508
00:20:20,778 --> 00:20:23,380
I'm back to being
a boring old safety inspector
509
00:20:23,448 --> 00:20:25,382
at a nuclear power plant.
510
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:28,618
(both moaning)
511
00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:34,989
== sync by Sp8ky, corrected by elderman ==
512
00:21:22,673 --> 00:21:24,541
Shh!