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Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Aah!
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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(all laughing uncontrollably)
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Attention, everyone.
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As you all know,
there has been an alien
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on the loose for quite some time now.
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I've checked my house.
He's not in my house.
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Good work, Smith.
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Still, the search could use
a little boost.
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Everyone, meet freelance
alien bounty hunter,
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Shannon Sharpe.
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Glad to be aboard.
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Shannon Sharpe?
The football guy?
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Yeah. I hunt aliens now.
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Used to catch TDs; now I catch ETs.
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You ever caught an alien, Shannon?
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Not yet, Mr. Question,
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but I'll let you know when I do.
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Anyone with any helpful information
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should report it to
Shannon Sharpe immediately.
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Let's bring in this damn alien
once and for all.
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Yes! Let's bring it in!
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I want to bring it in so bad!
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(grunting)
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You are a complicated man, Smith.
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I would love to do
mushrooms with you.
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(horn honking)
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Oh, no! I overslept!
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Oh, no! I'm out of undies!
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Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
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(sighs)
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Thanks for holding the bus, Judy.
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(yelling)
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(sighs) I overslept.
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Ah, man. I must have grabbed a pair
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of Hayley's underwear from the dryer.
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This day can't get any worse!
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Those are Hayley's?
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Let me smell them.
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Snot, we're on the bus.
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I'm not going to take them off.
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That's not what I asked.
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(bell dings)
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Thanks for meeting me
here between classes.
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No problem.
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You doing the Nigerian
medical student?
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Yep. First one in my village
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to pretend to become a doctor.
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Listen, the CIA's getting
serious about finding you.
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You need to be extra careful
with your disguises.
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Don't worry, Stan.
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I commit to my personas
down to the last detail.
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By the way, I just
inherited U.S. $22 million,
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of which I'll give you 45%
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if you can just wire
me the taxes up front.
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Thanks.
(door opens, bell dings)
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Oh, my God.
Scarlett Reynolds.
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We were in CIA boot camp together.
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I haven't seen her in 20 years.
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Oh, my God!
Coffee and a story.
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STAN:
Man, was I in love.
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We were inseparable.
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(rapid gunfire)
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It was the most romantic time
of my life.
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Wow, Stan.
That's amazing.
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Why did you guys break up?
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Oh, none of that was real.
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We were at boot camp together,
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but everything else
was just a fantasy.
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Come on. Penguins don't have nipples.
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Anyway, I never worked up the courage
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to tell her I liked her.
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I can't say I blame you, Staniel.
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She's a looker.
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I think I'm going to ask her out.
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You?!
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You three-foot-tall, gray,
disgusting piece of (bleep)!
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(gasps)
Scarlett's an angel.
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You're a pig.
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She would never go for you.
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Listen, you, that hurts.
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I like to think of myself
as a pretty strong person,
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but you... you cracked it.
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Congratulations.
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Scones here are super flaky.
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Stan?
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Stan Smith?
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Who's there?
Who's that?
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Scarlett Reynolds,
from CIA boot camp.
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Oh, my God!
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What are you doing here?
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I'm in town on business.
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Are you still working at the CIA?
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Hardly working, or am I hard?
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I'm hard.
How are you?
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Great. I left the agency
after boot camp,
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and now I work in the private sector.
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(laughing):
Privates!
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You look great.
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We've got to catch up.
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(laughs nervously)
Yes. Yes.
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Come over for dinner.
(giggles)
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I'm married, but most people
get divorced these days.
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(high-pitched laughing)
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KLAUS:
Come on.
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Ooh, yeah, here we are.
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Damn it!
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Klaus, I just had the luckiest day.
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My hair was perfect, we had
French bread pizza at lunch,
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and the old black janitor
said to me, and I quote,
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"You lookin' fly.
Go get it now."
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Hard to believe the day
turned out so great,
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considering it started with me
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accidentally putting
on Hayley's panties.
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Hold up.
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Have you considered
those might be lucky panties?
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What, like The Sisterhood
of the Traveling Pants,
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but with panties instead of pants
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and me instead of Tibby Rollins?
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Ugh. Why do you say
stuff like that, man?
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Look, all I'm saying is,
lucky clothes are a thing.
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If you don't believe me,
test them out.
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BOTH (gasp):
Lucky panties!
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I hope Scarlett likes our flatware.
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Why wouldn't she?
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'Cause it sucks, Francine!
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We have terrible flatware!
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(panting)
Stan, calm down.
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You're so nervous.
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Wouldn't you be if
the love of your life
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was about to walk through that door?
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The love of your life?
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This girl made my knees weak,
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my palms sweaty, my butt leak.
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You ever felt that way, Francine?
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Stan, my feelings
are starting to get hurt.
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You know what? You're making me
not want to tell you things.
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(doorbell rings)
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(Stan giggling excitedly)
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Open it.
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So, Scarlett, is there
a man in your life?
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Or a woman?
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Or a big blue ma-ma-ma-ma-ma friend?
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Nah. I'm still single.
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I guess I just haven't found the one.
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(laughs) Hey!
Hey, you're available.
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And I'm not.
What a world.
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What a horrible world.
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Whew, I think I'm getting
dizzy from your wine.
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I think I'm getting dizzy
from your fine.
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(laughing)
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(high-pitched laughing)
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Oh, for God's sake.
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I'm going to go...
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Doesn't matter... you're not
paying any attention.
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I don't know.
Surprise me.
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Ugh.
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You ever wish
someone you know would die?
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♪ Wish you would step back
from that ledge, my friend ♪
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You would...
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♪ You could cut ties
with all the lies ♪
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♪ That you've been living in ♪
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♪ And if you do not
want to see me again ♪
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♪ I would understa... ♪
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I'm sorry.
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♪ Ah... ♪
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Just a second. I...
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♪ Ah. ♪
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What?
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You wouldn't believe what
a D-bag Stan is being.
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He's got his old
boot camp crush down there.
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Those two are stuck
on each other like gum
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on a hot summer sidewalk
on a summer afternoon.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm taking a creative writing class,
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and I can't turn it off.
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Like a fire hydrant,
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gushing onto a hot summer sidewalk.
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My words cascading,
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like water onto a
hot summer sidewalk.
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A cat skitters by,
each step a relief,
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cooling its paws
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from the hot summer sidewalk.
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Oh, I know all about Scarlett.
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Your bastard husband told me
I was too disgusting to get her.
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I was so upset, I ate a donut.
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That's why I skipped dinner.
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(whispering):
I got a pizza coming.
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So many toppings.
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00:08:21,831 --> 00:08:23,435
God, I'm pissed at Stan.
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He needs to be taken down a peg.
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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All the time, bitch.
Good.
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So you'll interrupt this dinner
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dressed in your most charming,
irresistible persona.
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Dan Andsome-Handsome.
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No woman can resist him.
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Whoo!
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Just hearing his name makes me hot.
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Like a hot summer sidewalk.
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An ice cream man saunters...
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Okay.
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00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:55,250
Okay, Scarlett, this is ten quarters.
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00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,319
If I can do it, you have to kiss me.
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00:08:57,439 --> 00:08:58,887
(screams)
Okay, one more time.
215
00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:00,741
One more time.
ROGER: Sorry I'm late.
216
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:12,221
Name's Dan Andsome-Handsome.
217
00:09:12,437 --> 00:09:14,870
You're the most stunning woman
I've ever seen.
218
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:18,125
Uh... I'm Scarlett.
219
00:09:19,694 --> 00:09:22,244
Mmm.
220
00:09:22,364 --> 00:09:25,580
Let me take you out,
show you my Langley Falls.
221
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,048
Uh, Dan, I...
222
00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:28,984
I hardly think Scarlett's
going to have time to...
223
00:09:29,104 --> 00:09:30,671
I'd love to.
224
00:09:32,274 --> 00:09:34,189
All right, Stan, don't make a scene.
225
00:09:34,309 --> 00:09:36,829
Just say something witty
and exit on the laugh.
226
00:09:36,989 --> 00:09:38,762
So jealous!
227
00:09:43,031 --> 00:09:45,026
Bye, Scarlett.
Drive safe.
228
00:09:45,146 --> 00:09:46,110
Great night.
Wonderful night.
229
00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,295
What the hell are you doing?
230
00:09:47,415 --> 00:09:48,880
Farting off part of that dinner.
231
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,832
- What are you doing?
- You know what I'm talking about!
232
00:09:50,952 --> 00:09:52,100
Pretty simple, really... you told me
233
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,202
I couldn't get her,
so I'm going to get her.
234
00:09:54,322 --> 00:09:55,598
Naked.
235
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:57,071
All right, I-I was wrong.
236
00:09:57,191 --> 00:09:59,518
You can get her, but don't.
Any girl but her.
237
00:09:59,678 --> 00:10:01,309
You can't keep two girls on lockdown.
238
00:10:01,429 --> 00:10:02,794
You already got Francine.
239
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:05,313
If you want to let her go,
then I'll back off Scarlett.
240
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:06,781
Of course, then, I'll plow Francine.
241
00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:08,483
I'd let him, too.
242
00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:11,853
Dan Andsome-Handsome gives me
quite the wide-on.
243
00:10:11,973 --> 00:10:14,574
Ah... oh...
244
00:10:14,735 --> 00:10:15,910
But my fantasy girl.
245
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:17,592
Stan, you have no right
246
00:10:17,712 --> 00:10:19,294
to interfere with Roger's love life.
247
00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:21,462
Look, Stan, you're married.
You're out of the running.
248
00:10:21,582 --> 00:10:24,232
And I think we both agree
that it's not all right
249
00:10:24,352 --> 00:10:27,402
for a girl like that to go a day
without a crispy pickle.
250
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:29,337
(sighs) Fine.
251
00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:30,838
I won't interfere.
252
00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:33,074
Oh, well, I'm sorry
you're stuck with me.
253
00:10:33,194 --> 00:10:34,726
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
254
00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:36,377
Honey, no, no, don't...
don't do that.
255
00:10:36,497 --> 00:10:39,475
It's not all your fault.
We both said, "I do."
256
00:10:44,622 --> 00:10:46,354
All right, lucky panties.
257
00:10:46,474 --> 00:10:48,608
Work your sateen magic.
258
00:11:17,155 --> 00:11:19,932
Ho-ho, easy on the tush, fellas, hey.
259
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:21,224
(gasps)
260
00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:22,807
Wh-Wh-Who took my panties,
261
00:11:22,927 --> 00:11:25,310
m-my women's panties
th-that I was wearing?
262
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:28,165
Has anyone seen my women's
panties that I was wearing?!
263
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,015
Snot.
264
00:11:31,135 --> 00:11:34,118
Without those lucky panties,
who knows what could happen?
265
00:11:34,238 --> 00:11:36,421
Eh, maybe I'm just being silly.
266
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:37,422
Ow.
267
00:11:37,542 --> 00:11:38,951
A syringe?
268
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:40,475
Oops, I should be more careful.
269
00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:41,843
I need that.
270
00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:44,664
I share it with everyone.
271
00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:48,294
What looks good to you?
272
00:11:48,454 --> 00:11:49,534
Don't do that.
273
00:11:49,654 --> 00:11:52,136
You know exactly what looks good...
274
00:11:52,256 --> 00:11:53,454
(inhales)
275
00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:57,041
... your cans and your toilet.
276
00:11:57,161 --> 00:11:58,876
(coughs)
277
00:11:58,996 --> 00:12:03,784
What do you say we skip dinner
and go straight to dessert?
278
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:09,520
You... whore.
279
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:10,888
Dessert sounds great.
280
00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,924
Stan, what are you doing here?
281
00:12:13,044 --> 00:12:14,809
Thought I'd treat
you kids to dessert.
282
00:12:14,929 --> 00:12:16,611
Let's see what we got here.
283
00:12:16,731 --> 00:12:18,279
We can eliminate
everything with dairy
284
00:12:18,399 --> 00:12:20,782
because it gives this guy
the green apple splatters.
285
00:12:20,902 --> 00:12:22,517
Um, Stan, I'm not so sure that...
286
00:12:22,637 --> 00:12:24,051
Oh, right, we shouldn't share forks
287
00:12:24,171 --> 00:12:25,703
because of your rampant mouth VD.
288
00:12:25,823 --> 00:12:26,904
So maybe skip dessert
289
00:12:27,024 --> 00:12:28,940
and each of us go
to our separate homes?
290
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:30,628
(high-pitched):
May I have a word with you?
291
00:12:30,913 --> 00:12:32,143
You said you weren't going
to interfere.
292
00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:34,612
Yeah, I also said I love
to spend time with my kids.
293
00:12:34,732 --> 00:12:36,414
Look, there's no way
I'm letting you ruin
294
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,844
my fantasy of Scarlett
by having sex with her.
295
00:12:39,004 --> 00:12:40,101
Are you challenging me?
296
00:12:40,221 --> 00:12:41,736
Are you a challenger?
297
00:12:41,856 --> 00:12:43,838
Are you challenging me to
make a Challenger joke?
298
00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:45,623
Because it's too soon and too sad
299
00:12:45,743 --> 00:12:47,191
and I really don't have a good one.
300
00:12:47,311 --> 00:12:49,594
I'm taking you home right now
and locking you in the attic.
301
00:12:49,714 --> 00:12:51,581
(screaming)
302
00:13:01,225 --> 00:13:04,525
(whimpering and crying)
303
00:13:04,645 --> 00:13:06,956
(continues screaming)
304
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:12,800
Yo, nerds, any of you seen an alien?
305
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,235
No, we're looking for panties.
306
00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:16,089
Oh, we're all looking for stuff.
307
00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:23,161
Hey, panty thief,
give me my panties back!
308
00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:24,245
Never!
309
00:13:24,365 --> 00:13:26,733
I love them so much!
310
00:13:28,903 --> 00:13:29,801
Damn it.
311
00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:31,105
Anybody got any ideas?
312
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:32,236
I got one.
313
00:13:32,356 --> 00:13:33,237
(arm fart)
314
00:13:33,357 --> 00:13:36,610
Now, how do we market it?
315
00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:45,299
(slurring):
Welco-Welcome home, space lothario.
316
00:13:45,419 --> 00:13:47,001
You might have slept with Scarlett,
317
00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:48,436
but I'm wearing your robe.
318
00:13:48,556 --> 00:13:49,537
Ha!
319
00:13:49,657 --> 00:13:51,372
Hey, that's my pooping robe.
320
00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:53,419
I can tell by all the
poop on the edges.
321
00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:54,809
And while I'm being candid,
322
00:13:54,929 --> 00:13:57,756
I did not make the acquaintance
of Scarlett's insides.
323
00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:59,964
Ha, she wouldn't let you sleep
with her, huh?
324
00:14:00,084 --> 00:14:01,010
Attagirl.
325
00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:03,000
Oh, no, she was begging me for it,
326
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,802
but I decided it wasn't
quite the right setting.
327
00:14:04,922 --> 00:14:05,848
Setting?
328
00:14:06,008 --> 00:14:07,972
You know your ski chalet fantasy?
329
00:14:08,092 --> 00:14:09,574
That's where I want to do it.
330
00:14:09,694 --> 00:14:12,510
I want to take your dream girl
into your dream setting
331
00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:14,356
and plow her in real life.
332
00:14:14,516 --> 00:14:15,680
You wouldn't.
333
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,215
Oh, but I would.
334
00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:19,417
I'm gonna do it like this.
(grunts)
335
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:20,551
And then I'm gonna do it like this.
336
00:14:20,671 --> 00:14:21,652
(grunts)
337
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:23,070
And then it's her turn.
338
00:14:23,190 --> 00:14:26,459
A-boom-boom-boom-boom-
boom-boom-boom-boom-boom.
339
00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,782
Shannon Sharpe, sharpening a machete,
340
00:14:34,902 --> 00:14:37,270
gonna catch an alien
and eat some spaghetti.
341
00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:40,805
(knocking)
342
00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,407
Hold on, spaghetti,
I got to get that.
343
00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:44,859
Shannon Sharpe?
344
00:14:44,979 --> 00:14:46,661
If you want to catch the alien,
345
00:14:46,781 --> 00:14:49,115
I know where you can find him.
346
00:14:51,652 --> 00:14:53,601
Hey, that's my spaghetti.
347
00:14:53,721 --> 00:14:55,722
This is the first I'm hearing of it.
348
00:15:01,188 --> 00:15:02,903
Oh, man, this is exciting.
349
00:15:03,023 --> 00:15:04,538
Gonna catch my first alien.
350
00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:07,458
So, uh, what do you think
the CIA will do
351
00:15:07,578 --> 00:15:09,161
with the alien when you bring it in?
352
00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:12,413
Oh, they're going to dissect him
like a frog, like Kermit.
353
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,317
That's probably my favorite frog.
354
00:15:15,619 --> 00:15:17,801
Hey, if you get a runny nose,
355
00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:19,503
I've got napkins in the glove box.
356
00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:20,804
Every time I go to Wendy's,
357
00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:23,409
I grab a handful of
those yellow napkins.
358
00:15:26,463 --> 00:15:28,262
Klaus, what's going on?
359
00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:30,097
I'm moving into Roger's attic.
360
00:15:30,217 --> 00:15:32,184
Stan turned him over
to an alien hunter.
361
00:15:32,344 --> 00:15:33,018
Wh-What?
362
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:34,418
Yeah, he was super P.O.'d
363
00:15:34,538 --> 00:15:36,353
about Roger taking Scarlett
away for the weekend...
364
00:15:36,473 --> 00:15:37,788
careful with that box!
365
00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:40,324
You hold it precariously
and I am distrustful.
366
00:15:40,444 --> 00:15:41,659
Thank you, Rico.
367
00:15:41,779 --> 00:15:43,227
Gracias, Rico.
368
00:15:43,347 --> 00:15:46,049
How's your wife's
Looney Tunes jean jacket?
369
00:15:49,403 --> 00:15:51,568
Just like in my fantasy.
370
00:15:51,688 --> 00:15:52,903
You go on ahead, Stan,
371
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,005
I'm just waterproofing
my snakeskin boots.
372
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,668
I won't be but a minute.
373
00:15:57,828 --> 00:16:00,087
Get off of her, you gross, gray arf!
374
00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:02,012
Where's Rog... Dan?
375
00:16:02,132 --> 00:16:03,464
He's... in the back.
376
00:16:03,584 --> 00:16:04,698
What are you doing here?
377
00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:06,200
Hey, Stan, look at my boots.
378
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,002
The water just beads up.
379
00:16:08,122 --> 00:16:10,020
Aw, damn, Scarlett?
380
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,288
Hello, Shannon.
381
00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:13,107
Wait, you two know each other?
382
00:16:13,227 --> 00:16:14,775
Of course I know this fine lady.
383
00:16:14,895 --> 00:16:16,143
Best alien hunter around,
384
00:16:16,263 --> 00:16:18,897
but not today 'cause
that alien is mine.
385
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:19,813
What?
386
00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:22,359
No, th-there must be some mistake.
387
00:16:22,519 --> 00:16:23,611
(groans)
388
00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:25,355
There's no mistake.
389
00:16:27,274 --> 00:16:29,809
Oh, boner, not now.
390
00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:33,410
Oh...
391
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,412
Panties, oh, panties.
392
00:16:35,532 --> 00:16:36,764
Steve, what are you doing?
393
00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:39,883
I-I accidentally wore your
panties the other day...
394
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,919
the really cute pair
with the lace job?
395
00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:44,605
When I wore them, I had
the best luck of my life,
396
00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:45,973
but then Snot stole them.
397
00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,676
Aw, Snot has them?
398
00:16:47,836 --> 00:16:49,276
Yeah, now I need another pair.
399
00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:50,679
I need my luck back!
400
00:16:50,839 --> 00:16:51,712
(sighs)
401
00:16:51,832 --> 00:16:53,948
Look, Steve, remember on The Smurfs
402
00:16:54,068 --> 00:16:56,050
when Wimpy Smurf
wasn't feeling very strong
403
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,485
and Papa Smurf made him
a magic courage potion?
404
00:16:58,605 --> 00:16:59,688
Of course.
405
00:16:59,848 --> 00:17:01,689
And remember it worked,
but then in the end,
406
00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:04,591
Papa Smurf admitted
it wasn't magic at all?
407
00:17:04,711 --> 00:17:06,695
It was just regular old
Smurf Berry Jam.
408
00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:08,028
Classic episode.
409
00:17:08,148 --> 00:17:10,698
Steve, those panties weren't lucky.
410
00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:12,199
It was the confidence they gave you
411
00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:13,767
that made you feel lucky.
412
00:17:13,887 --> 00:17:15,135
Hey, and guess what.
413
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:19,807
That confidence is in... side... you.
414
00:17:19,927 --> 00:17:22,042
Oh, thanks, Hayley.
415
00:17:22,162 --> 00:17:25,064
(chuckling):
All right, run along now.
416
00:17:32,055 --> 00:17:33,437
(kicks down door)
417
00:17:33,557 --> 00:17:37,141
I have had the worst luck
since I lost those panties.
418
00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,353
Give 'em back, you son of a bitch!
419
00:17:39,513 --> 00:17:40,896
(gasps, mumbles)
420
00:17:41,056 --> 00:17:42,915
Oh, hell, no.
421
00:17:43,183 --> 00:17:43,864
(mumbling)
422
00:17:43,984 --> 00:17:45,234
(screams)
423
00:17:45,394 --> 00:17:46,402
(both grunting)
424
00:17:46,562 --> 00:17:48,471
(gurgling screams)
425
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:52,574
(Hayley screams, Snot groans)
426
00:17:52,734 --> 00:17:55,409
(pained groaning)
427
00:17:55,529 --> 00:17:56,870
(snap)
428
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,695
Give 'em to me.
429
00:17:58,815 --> 00:17:59,682
(spits)
430
00:18:01,827 --> 00:18:02,566
(groans)
431
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:04,601
That was amazing.
432
00:18:04,721 --> 00:18:07,824
Those are the luckiest panti
in the world.
433
00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:10,968
(wind whistling)
434
00:18:11,128 --> 00:18:13,053
You're an alien hunter?
435
00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:14,311
That's right.
436
00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:16,513
I purposefully ran into you
at the coffee shop
437
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,882
'cause I knew you had the alien.
438
00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:21,729
Why else would I even give you
the time of day?
439
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:22,586
Really?
440
00:18:22,706 --> 00:18:24,288
You're a loser.
441
00:18:24,408 --> 00:18:25,939
You were a nobody at the academy
442
00:18:26,059 --> 00:18:27,508
and you're a nobody now,
443
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,944
and you saw me kill someone
so now I'm going to kill you.
444
00:18:31,064 --> 00:18:33,547
Oh, man, you are the worst right now.
445
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:36,617
I can't believe I spent all
those years pining after you.
446
00:18:36,737 --> 00:18:39,553
Well, allow me to erase that memory.
447
00:18:39,673 --> 00:18:41,055
Go ahead, shoot me.
448
00:18:41,175 --> 00:18:42,156
You're trash.
449
00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:43,690
I have the best wife at home.
450
00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:47,161
She's terrific, she's sexy,
she's smart but not very.
451
00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:49,965
Lady, my wife blows you away.
452
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:51,717
Damn right I do.
453
00:18:51,877 --> 00:18:52,760
Francine?
454
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,686
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
455
00:18:55,806 --> 00:18:58,140
(screams)
456
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,056
Oh, my God.
457
00:18:59,176 --> 00:19:01,325
Wow, she was really dry.
458
00:19:01,445 --> 00:19:03,127
Oh, Francine, I'm so sorry
459
00:19:03,247 --> 00:19:04,661
for being such a sack of beans,
460
00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:06,029
fantasizing over Scarlett.
461
00:19:06,149 --> 00:19:07,464
No, it's okay.
462
00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:09,400
Sometimes I like to fantasize
463
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,002
you're a group
of angry construction workers
464
00:19:12,122 --> 00:19:13,637
when we're making love.
465
00:19:13,757 --> 00:19:15,272
But what woman doesn't look back
466
00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:17,541
on her first time with fondness?
467
00:19:17,661 --> 00:19:18,909
(both moan)
468
00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:21,879
To think I almost turned Roger
into the CIA.
469
00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:23,680
Shannon Sharpe said
they were gonna dissect...
470
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,748
ROGER:
Help!
471
00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,210
(gasps)
Roger!
472
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,235
Oh, gross!
(horrified scream)
473
00:19:28,355 --> 00:19:29,388
Roger!
474
00:19:31,158 --> 00:19:34,608
Hey, can you guys put me back
together before I die over here?
475
00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:35,928
Preesh.
476
00:19:36,088 --> 00:19:38,881
♪ ♪
477
00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:11,080
♪ ♪
478
00:20:14,292 --> 00:20:16,552
(wind whistling)
479
00:20:16,712 --> 00:20:17,918
Thanks for saving me, dudes.
480
00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:20,354
So when did you realize
Scarlett was an alien hunter?
481
00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,641
Took a little longer
than I'd prefer to admit.
482
00:20:22,801 --> 00:20:25,259
For a while, I just thought
we were having super-kinky sex,
483
00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:26,979
and then she cut off my face.
484
00:20:27,139 --> 00:20:29,563
Sorry for interfering
with your love life, pal.
485
00:20:29,683 --> 00:20:32,432
Yeah, I'm sorry for going
after your fantasy girl.
486
00:20:32,552 --> 00:20:34,220
Come on, let's go home.
487
00:20:36,239 --> 00:20:38,172
You guys go ahead,
488
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:39,706
I'm gonna make
the Shannon Sharpe thing
489
00:20:39,826 --> 00:20:41,911
look like a suicide.
490
00:20:57,002 --> 00:20:58,909
Yeah, it's pretty clear
what happened here.
491
00:20:59,029 --> 00:21:01,478
This man shot himself,
fell against the painting,
492
00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:02,646
then took out a knife.
493
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:03,814
Back to the office, boss?
494
00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:05,782
Uh-uh, it's movie time.
495
00:21:05,902 --> 00:21:07,436
Are you serious?
496
00:21:07,596 --> 00:21:09,730
Am I dialing Moviefone right now?
497
00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:11,101
Yes!
498
00:21:11,221 --> 00:21:13,442
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
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